Remember Your Why

It took me over 20 years to get sober. The mountain I had to climb was monumental & it turns out, I was the mountain. I was my own worst enemy.  Definitely the hardest battle I have ever faced, but also the most rewarding because sobriety is beautiful. It's an everyday battle when suffering from addiction, but we're all worth a chance at a second chance at life. 

My dear friend Jesse shares so much strength and hope in this episode, as well as his wisdom about addiction and recovery. Be sure to check it out!  

Janice grew up in an alcoholic home, but did not fall into her full blown addiction until after she had kids. Hear her story here and what that looked like for her. 

Candice struggled with addiction for over twenty years. For her, she had many different emotional bottoms. Hear her story and how she uses the tools she has learned and her higher power, to tackle whatever life throws at her today.  

Mike's story is one that is filled with detoxes, rehabs, homelessness and institutions. Listen to hear how he overcame serious low bottoms time and time again and is now living a beautiful life in recovery. 

Jacob had a serious health scare from his drinking at just 39 years old, which prompted him to take action and make some changes in his life, especially because he had a wife and 3 young girls to think about. Hear his story here... 

Julie, who is a fellow podcaster herself, recently celebrated three years of sobriety, and has an amazing story to share. It is one that encompasses family, mental health, addiction and recovery. Listen here... 

Judas & Magnolia have quite a story behind their nine year sobriety journey together. Listen here... 

Kate has been sober since December 21, 1999, as she recalls it to be the first day of winter, and to her, the longest night of the year. Hear her story of strength and resilience here. 

Hear my chat with Dr. J, who has been sober since 1987, here... 

Lisa was a binge drinker who, after years and years of addiction , got to the point where she wanted to die. She laid down in the middle of a street hoping that would be the end. That is where her disease took her. To the darkest parts of her mind. Listen to her story and how she overcame her crippling past and has been living a life in recovery for 30 years. 

Chrissy has been sober since November 2022. She and I spoke a lot about alcohol and its negative effects, why we think addiction and mental health need to be talked about much more and so many other hot topics surrounding alcohol and addiction. Listen here! 

Michelle spoke about how time and money are the most gratifying things about being sober. Can't get time back or money back, but in sobriety, we don't waste time anymore. We get to do things now. Hear our discussion about her story here... 

Jimmy has been sober since 2016. He just turned 50 years old which seemed like a feat that was unattainable back when he was in active addiction. Now, 50 and sober, is a beautiful thing. Hear his story here... 

Check out Duncan’s story here… 

Dan's sobriety date is January 7, 2023. His started drinking at age 15, but at age 23, cocaine came into play and that was something he wasn't ready for... how addictive it truly is. It became an everyday thing for him and got a hold of him. Things did get pretty dark for him mentally and some health issues arose as well. Listen to Dan tell his story here... 

Erinn is a mom that now gets to show up for her children. She has been sober for almost five years and has found peace and serenity in her recovery which is truly incredible. She talks a lot about that aspect in our discussion. We also talked about how alcohol affects mental health as well as how toxic it truly is for our bodies... things everyone should know about. Hear our chat here... 

Steve is a podcaster and also an alcohol addiction recovery coach. He has been sober since March 2021. He started drinking around age 19, which was just the beginning of the insidious of alcohol. Drinking made things easier- being outgoing, feeling included... until it became more frequent and during the daytimes as well. Listen to my chat with Steve here... 

Kristen just turned three years sober. She had a dual addiction to alcohol and Xanax. She also suffered from anxiety and OCD. She used alcohol to mask the anxiety in social settings. Things escalated quickly between the pills and the drinking.Hear her story here... it is a powerful one!Follow her on Instagram: sobergirltribe

Greg has been sober since October 2023. He is doing something really special and amazing. Starting August 10th and finishing August 31st he will be walking from Lake Superior in Superior, WI to Lake Michigan in Cudahy, WI to raise awareness about addiction and mental health.  This will be his second walk and he will be raising money to help those that are at the United Community Center, which has helped Greg along on his journey to sobriety. Many of the people there come in with just the clothes on their back. During our pordcast, Greg said something that has stuck with me:  "don't quit on quitting." Though it has taken Greg a few tries to get sobriety under his belt, he never stopped trying. That is so important to remember. Don't ever give up. Hear Greg's story here... 

Louisa is a therapist in the UK that specializes in anxiety and and habit change. She was doing this all while struggling with her own battle with alcohol. She now shares her story of sobriety to help countless others who are struggling. Hear my amazing chat with her here... 

Sam has been sober since 2011.  She and I actually went to high school together and it was really special to reconnect as were both on our sobriety journeys now. Her addiction began during those teenage years of wanting to fit in and be social around others and that's where her love affair with alcohol started. Now married with a baby, Sam overcame all of the adversity and troubles life through her way and is living the life of her dreams now. 

Michela spoke to us from Italy about her sobriety and recovery. She has been sober since 2001. She spoke about relationships with alcohol, her loved ones and her faith. Hear her wisdom and strength as she tells her story. 

Shana has been sober since November 2021. She had tried to get sober for close to two decades prior to that. As most alcoholics, the booze had a hold on her. She went to treatment centers, sober living, AA and struggled to find recovery, but she never gave up. Shana also struggled with mental health issues, and you will hear her share about that during this podcast. Now a mom, recovery and life coach, Shana is helping others get sober and healthy. 

Mary and Ralph got sober together back in October 2020. When they met they were both using and drinking heavily and not their best selves, but they knew deep down that they were good people so they pushed through all of the struggles, the violence and arrests to get to the place they're at today. They have their own apartment, dogs and living a happy life in recovery.But meth and drinking took quite a hold on them and they faced many obstacles. They tried to get sober multiple times, but it never stuck, until one day Mary asked for help and her sister answered that call. Hear Ralph and Mary tell their story here... 

Joe recently celebrated a year of sobriety. He picked up in his teen years with school parties- drinking and weed- weekend warrior type of scenario. But that quickly progressed, as it does with addiction. For the most part, it became a daily thing. Once he got out of high school, he got an apartment with a girl in the Bronx. He thought he was in love, but he was still young and unsure of his future. He started to meet people at work and that's when the pills took off. He was taking roxy's and oxy. He still thought it was fun, but had no idea the hold it was going to have on him for fifteen years. Joe went to numerous rehabs to try to get clean and landed himself in some legal trouble as well, landing himself in jail. Eventually, he realized that things had to change and made the decision to get clean. Check out Joe's story here... 

Ryan is a speaker and humanitarian who speaks his truth and inspires others on the daily. But he has had many serious struggles and situations that he's needed to overcome.Ryan was one of Canada's most well known marijuana smugglers and he earned the title, "King of Weed." He was featured on an episode of National Geographic's 'Locked up Abroad.' Prior to that, he was a serious hockey prospect, but those dreams were plagued with injuries and his drinking. Suffering from serious anxiety, Ryan found himself facing a prescription drug problem. He was always full throttle with everything he did and his mental health battles severely suffered. He lost his path. Hear his story here... Ryan has become a huge advocate for mental health and has a film set to come out, "Radical Forgiveness," that dives into his journey and how he has come out on top after all of the dark and ugly he faced. 

Caroline lives in a small village just outside of Bristol in the UK. She has been sober since November 2012. When she was 13/14 years of age she started messing around with drinking and weed. She was very attracted to the people who were doing things more exciting and fun. Pills came into the picture and the disease of more was prevalent. Heroin was next at the age of 17, and she felt that she'd finally found what she had been looking for her whole life. It had a hold on her and her life was not her own anymore. She became consumed. Game over. Hear her story here... 

Patrick has been sober since 1986. His addiction began around 13 years of age at a friends house with some punch that was different from what he drank as a kid. He says he became an "instant alcoholic." He felt peaceful and accepted, which we all longed for. His interest in playing sports changed because he just wanted to drink. It was a psychic change. Knowing the drink was there was always a relief. Hear about Patrick's progression in this episode and how he overcame his addiction. 

Anora's date of sobriety is December 8, 2018. Took her two years before that to be gifted by the program. It was a struggle and a gift. She had two stints in rehab before that. A large part of her drinking was filling up what was empty inside. It filled a void. It's crazy to think how many of us had good parents, good education, kind siblings and beautiful children, but still had that emptiness. Anora was once turned away from the wine shop due to her excessive drinking, even living in Italy, where wine is widely accepted and a way of life. She was cut off. Another time, she ended up in the psych ward due to her children calling her mother in America saying "Mommy's threatening to jump out the window." Add on top of everything else, the fact that she had a turbulent marriage which complicated things and in turn, is now estranged from her daughters. Hear Anora's story and how she turned her life around and is living a life in recovery. 

Mal has been sober since 1987. Alcoholism did run in his family, mostly in his uncles, who were great role models to him growing up. He first picked up a drink playing around with it here and there at the age of twelve/thirteen. It got serious when he was fifteen going to a school dance and he was going to meet girls, and he felt the need to feel comfortable, so he drank Southern Comfort and that worked wonders. This was a memory he remembered. It was a matter of fitting in and feeling good about himself. When his father died, he was only sixteen years of age. That's when the drinking escalated. There was no way of coping for him. He didn't have a lot of courage about him, so he felt he needed the alcohol. After that, it just progressed as time went by. At  the time it didn't ring any bells that the drinking was what was causing all of his problems. This realization came later on when he couldn't stop once he started. Mal should have died over and over again, but thankfully he lived to tell his story. Listen here.

Lindsey is a sober coach with 3.5 years of sobriety under her belt. She offers one on one coaching as well as a group coaching program called 'Sobriety is Your Edge.' She feels everyone is at different stages in their journeys so it varies to a degree. This helps spread the word that recovery is possible and that you do not have to drink. Lindsey was 'Friday Night Lights' in high school, and it was so normal that it seemed everyone was living the same lifestyle. Football games and the house parties after. She wanted to be popular, she wanted to fit in. She lived in a divorced family so her dad was not always home, and she threw parties all the time. College came and she drank every night of the week. Her grades suffered from the partying, but was able to graduate in the end with a respectable GPA.She was a blackout drinker in college which later flowed over to her adult life before she got sober. After work, it was always happy hour. She created this life that revolved around socializing still, outside of work. This turned into drinking after the bars by herself at home. She always thought once she had a family she would have to stop drinking. But that unfortunately never happened for Lindsey. Hear her story here. 

Nicole has been sober for five years now. This is her second date. She was thirty three months when she relapsed. She grew up in a community in Canada where drinking alcohol, no matter the age was widely accepted. Did not seem out of the ordinary. The drinking culture was to "work hard, play hard." She first got really drunk at twelve years of age. She was very social and quite the planner, but this was because she was always loaded. She didn't want to be by herself because she was lonely. That big hole was filled with alcohol and drugs, and when she was by herself again the next day, the anxiety came back ten fold. She ended up in prison because of drugs. She was first introduced to drugs by her dad. It started as being more recreational, which was weed, but turned into acid and mushrooms. The booze was always a constant. Her marriage is what changed everything, because he was a drug dealer. Nicole was a lawyer, and doing very well, until everything spiraled downward about six months into being married. Her story is very intense, and filled with a lot of dark, scary and low moments. I am going to let her tell you... Please take a listen. 

Chloe has been sober since October 5, 2022.  She first picked up when she was 13 going on 14 and things progressed quickly- one day she was smoking week, the next doing pills, then she was doing ketamine. The drugs made her feel less depressed, but as we know- the cycle is: it takes it all away, but brings it all back ten fold. The height of her addiction included homelessness, sleeping on drug dealer floors, stealing, lying... and then some. Things got very dark and her health took quite a toll. Hear Chloe's story here... 

Vince has been sober since 2022.  For 40 years he had a lifetime of using substances to cope with his life. He experienced a lot of childhood trauma and a lot of loss. He had been running from his addiction from a young age. Now he is present and stops to see the little things in life, such as a butterfly landing, or looking at a cardinal, or having best friends. Clarity is a beautiful thing. And he's found it. He has found peace. Hear Vince's story here... 

Chas 'Colicchie' is a recovering addict, hip hop artist and loving father. He is also incredibly motivational and inspiring for fellow addict and alcoholics. His sobriety date is June 7, 2015. Not the first date he has had but the one he is keeping. When he was younger, he never felt whole. Just felt like an outcast. Once he found drugs and alcohol at a young age, it seemed to be the solution to every problem he had. He gravitated towards that euphoric feeling throughout the years that followed. It didn't matter which treatment center he was at, he would use almost instantly after being released. He didn't have anything to combat this illness, and he would always give in to the familiarity of the disease of addiction. After overdosing six times, Chas is lucky to be alive and I am so grateful he joined me to tell his story. 

Matthew is from Brooklyn, born & raised, and recently celebrated 14 months sober. His drug of choice was crack cocaine. That drug brought him to his knees and took everything from him. His higher power was a crack pipe. It quite literally beat him down. He had a very unpredictable childhood living with his father, and lots of trauma stemmed from that. It's been a long road working through this all, but I will let Matthew tell his story in this episode... please check it out. 

Darren is a happily married,  soon to be father and together with his wife, they will be welcoming their first child. He has been sober since 2008. When things got to the height of his addiction, it became "bender city" and just wasn't fun anymore. Waking up with a hangover and needing a bump of coke and a beer just to "level out." That is where his addiction took him. He was escaping from fear, from life, from everything. Now today, Darren says there is nothing better than putting your head on a pillow at night sober and then waking up sober. 

Seth has almost five years of sobriety. He picked up his first drink at 16 years old, and started drinking to feel accepted, as many of us alcoholics/addicts do.  He was alcoholic drinking early on. Growing up he was around all the men in his life using alcohol as a tool to deal with stress, and masking emotions, yet on the flip side, it also was how they celebrated. It was prominent in his life. Seth has been to jail, a few DUI's and ended up intubated twice. Hear how Seth 's recovery has helped him with both good and difficult situations in his life, both before sobriety and during sobriety. 

Michele got sober at age 19 and has 28 years of recovery under her belt. Alcohol and drugs brought her down fast and she just needed something from a very early age just to be "ok." Existing in her own head was painful and drinking made all of that go away. It was amazing until it wasn't. Hear her story here...

Skyler Ray is an addict in recovery & a Hip-Hop artist based out of Portland, Oregon. At the height of his addiction he was homeless at 18 years old, living under bridges, in the food lines or in prison for drug related charges. His 20's looked like that. He spent over 5 years incarcerated. He now goes on his 'Road to Recovery' tour across the states talking to addicts in prisons and treatment centers about recovery, as well as performs with his fiancée. Music saved his life. Skyler now inspires others in recovery and shows that it is possible, and works on breaking the stigma. 

Maria has 16 years clean and sober. Consequences and an intervention all by the age of 16 were a part of her story. Hear how she overcame all of this, and about the ultimatum she was given by one of her children, which ultimately led to her getting sober. Now she is living a beautiful life in recovery and couldn't imagine life any other way.

Growing up in the UK, Ian was able to walk into a bar at 15 and get served. He felt alcohol gave him the confidence he was lacking and thought of himself to be a good drinking buddy. Over time, he realized he was drinking to go out, drinking to stay home and wouldn't go out if drinking was not involved. He sensed the problem and after drinking for 30+ years, he decided it was time to make a change. Now, in recovery, he's found clarity and the ability to be present, which is so valuable especially for his family life. Hear Ian's story here! 

Gil started drinking at age 13 and things advanced very quickly for him, drugs and all, before the age of 16. He had made up his mind to get drunk as much as possible. He grew up in the city and was considered a street kid, so drinking made him feel accepted, He got in trouble at school and ended up in a therapeutic community, which was a very rough environment. Gil got sober by age 26, but that followed with a relapse later in life. Hear how he overcame that and is now living his life in recovery today. 

Kristy just celebrated 3.5 years of sobriety. She's a single mom of two boys, working her dream job in fitness and that is all thanks to her recovery. Losing her mom at the young age of 20, alcohol became her medicine and what helped her numb from the reality of it all.  Drinking through her emotions became her way of life. As alcoholism does, it only progressed as the years went on, which turned out to be half her life. When she chose to get sober, Kristy had finally had enough. She didn't want to live in the vicious cycle of constantly drinking, the shame... and everything that comes along with addiction. It was not easy, but she persevered and is a great power of example today. Listen her very powerful story here. 

Chad has been sober for six years. His first night drinking was quite a wild one, as you'll hear, and as he said, he was just always ready to 'dive in the deep end.'His drinking definitely progressed after college and he was a blackout drinker, so, like many others, a lot of his life is a blur. The insanity really came to fruition. Self pity. Loathing. Lying. Spiraling. It all played a part in his addiction. Once he was given an ultimatum by his now wife, he began the road to recovery.Chad is now happily married and has a son who he loves with all of his heart. Hear his story of addiction and recovery here. 

Ron was a boxer who had never taken a drug in his life until he wound up in prison. He grew up in a tough environment- a lot of criminals in his family- and surrounded by dysfunction. Alcohol became his best friend and pretty much ran his life.Hear how Ron overcame so much turmoil and pain and is now living a life in sobriety He also has his own podcast that helps many others with addiction. 

Greg's alcoholic and addictive behavior manifested in ways before it manifested in alcohol. In his early 30's the drinking began and he got sober at 39. Greg drank throughout college but for him, he never felt comfortable in his own skin. He never felt comfortable in his own skin, so he would seek validation through different ways. Early on it was steroids and the gym, then it was needed to get a 4.0 in school. And then the alcohol and drugs came into play. Once substances were in his body, he felt "normal." For him, he had to lose everything. He had the gift of desperation, which led him to recovery. 

Michael has been sober for over 3 years following a 20+ drinking career. Alcohol was his drug of choice. He knew he had the disease of alcoholism before he even took his first drink. Alcoholism ran in his family and he was scared to be like his dad. His earliest memories were of him passed out in the bathtub and those are tough images for a kid to see. During the ages of 18-40, Michael spent much of that drinking and had some negative experiences that came along with that. As addicts and alcoholics, we need to, many times, learn the hard way. One of those times landed him in jail until he had a bright light moment of surrender that led him into recovery. Check out Michael's story...

Jordan has been in recovery since 2022. He has suffered relapses, gone to many institutions, detoxes and sober houses. His drinking "career" first started around age 15 due to wanting to fit in, like many of us begin. Then pills came, and the harder drugs followed. Paired with his mental health, the road to sobriety did not come easy for him. Hear Jordan's story here...