RESOLVE to Live Forward

25-years ago today, September 11, 2001, we were brought to our knees. Many of you remember because you were there. This episode is a departure from my series that started back in April 2026. I want to share with all of you my reflection on the vast millions upon millions who serve unselfishly and without any recognition. They are a "Quiet Majority of Good". It seems as though the only people getting attention are the outraged, angry, and click-hungry. Let's take this Patriot Day and remeber those who sacrificed, served, stepped up, as well as what we can do to sacrifice, serve, and thank those who serve without the expectation of any notice, BECAUSE .... The unnoticed are the quiet majority that do good every day.

When we are shattered by loss, devastation, and grief, we can start to fade, diminish, and become smaller, not physically but emotionally. Returning to a life lived in forward direction is not about forgetting or moving past our heartbreak. It's about the fact that we are still HERE! An if we are still here, then we still still have a meaningful purpose for not just existing but living fully out-loud. Today we push back on the naysayers of our life, both from others and especially from our own self-talk, and start showing up with a new forward living purpose. 

Choices .... Moment by moment, day after day, we make choices. Sometimes, the choices are made for us. That's part of life, but by and large, we are the agents of choices. We make choices all the time. That begs the question: "What Choice Will I Make Today?" Today's episode is about living forward with success in mind. It's about having a definite, firm plan of action which has a successful end result in mind. It's not about a perfect choice. It about the BEST CHOICE. Note, I said "CHOICE", and that's a singular word. It only takes one intentional powerful choice to begin the journey of personal success. Let's talk about the choice to succeed. 

What if I said, "The Teacher Will Always Be the Student"? If you think about it, teachers are continuous learners. Not only must they stay current with their craft, but they must understand the time changes the students and the teachers. Although you won't hear this phrase in the podcast, the more that I learn the more I know that I need to learn more. Lifelong learners are never content to stop seeking a deeper understanding of what they know and need to know more. This current podcast series started in April of 2026. Today's episode is #21. I want us to talk about what we are becoming on this journey. 

Here's a quote for you, "Extraordinary lives are rarely built through extraordinary moments. They are built through ordinary choices repeated with extraordinary consistency." It's not about the seemingly BIG CHOICES that we make, but the persistent, daily practice of doing one good thing at a time. Truth is, we are creatures of habit. If you don't like how your life is being lived out, study your habits, and then, set out to change those habit one simple choice at a time. 

Here's a quote for you: "Extraordinary lives are rarely built on extraordinary moments. More often, they're built on ordinary moments repeated with extraordinary consistency." I don't know who penned that quote, but I can personally testify to it's accuracy. The greatest heros of our lifetimes weren't people who did massive and extraordinary things, but rather, they did things one consistent and intentional step at a time. Success isn't built in giant leaps. It's built in faithful steps. Are you willing to do the seemingly insignificant yet consistent things that will make you extraordinary? Let's talk about that. 

You were never created to remain who you were yesterday. Life's greatest adventure is BECOMING who you were always meant to be. You've heard the phrase, "Change is inevitable." It's a true statement, but change almost always begins on the outside. BECOMING is about what's inside of each one of us. Today we talk of the Action of Becoming, and in doing so, becoming what we were always meant to be. 

Our lives do not have to lose meaning after personal devastation. Yes, it's true that "Living Forward" after such times as these may seem meaningless and hopeless, but I have learned that living is a choice. Making the choice to LIVE FORWARD takes great courage. If you have suffered deep loss, I want you to realize that the fact that you are still here, living now, means that there are more chapters left to be written in your story of life. I also want you to realize that to "Begin Again" is not the same as starting over from scratch. You are already equiped with tools to become a greater version of who you were designed to be. You just need courage and intentionality. 

Have you ever noticed that our lives rarely change all at once? Yes, there are occasional life-altering events that occur such as death, accidents, loss of a job, and others, but usuually life is built around the accumulation of small, individual moments that carry us, hopefully, in a forward-living direction. Today's episode is about those small events, or steps, that we take with intention. Living forward is all about taking life one small step at a time, and in so doing, seeing our future emerge as a series of success stories. 

Our "Character" is built one choice at a time. We are not born with a specific type of character. Our personal character is learned, and as we learn, we make more and more choices about that character. This brings us back to the beginning question: Do you like the person you see in the mirror? In most cases, I think we all, for the most part, like ourselves, BUT if we are Forward Living people then we should always be working on the best version of ourselves. If you are still here (alive and functional) then you have opportunities to work on making you a better version of you. 

What is SELF-TALK? Simply put, self-talk is what we say to ourselves about ourselves. If we speak unkindly or harshly about ourselves we have a "Negative" self-talk. This kind of personal, inner conversation creates and fosters limiting beliefs. YES! People will say terrible things, but the greatest stories of invidual success come from people who were treated the most harshly. And yet, they did not allow themselves to embrace and validate those negative things by allowing them to become a part of their story. They refused to believe their negative self-talk. Let's start a NEW CONVERSATION, one sentence at a time. 

The one person that gave your life meaning and purpose is gone. Where do I go from here? That's the expected question of the brokenhearted, but maybe the more important questions is, "WHO AM I NOW?" I've said it before and I will continue to say it, this is not the end of the life that you were meant to live. It's the next chapter of the life you are meant to live. 

What if I thought that I was healing, but suddenly I'm hurting again. I am learning that when I hurt again, it does NOT mean that my healing has failed or even had a setback or relapse. In our journey of grief, the healing process is not a straight line. Today, I want to share with all of you how the sudden and unstoppable death of a precious four-legged fur friend (a cat who was my constant companion since my wife died) brought me to my knees in deep anguish and sorrow. Here's a clue. Unconditional love has a cost. What is that cost? GRIEF and SORROW. My question to you is, would you rather avoid the grief and never truly love without conditions, or would love unconditionally knowing that you will suffer from a brokenheart? I choose to love ... unconditionally. I choose the pain of grief. 

Presence communicates things that words cannot. A text can convey information. An email can convey an idea, but eye-contact, a compassionate voice, a shared silence, even a hand on a shoulder, can communicate humanity. If you are waiting for the right time to connect, in person, with someone, especially someone who has suffered great loss and sorrow, you may be waiting for something that will never happen. I believe that waiting until the time is right means the time will never be right. We're not talking about perfection. We're talking about presence, even when it's uncomfortable. 

I've often said that living forward is not random. It does not happen by accident. LIVING FORWARD IS A CHOICE. However, it is also important to understand that living forward is not about big steps or decisions, but about small steps of faith, hope, and positive momentum. These are the "Baby Steps" that create the results, later, that we will thank ourselves for. 

After a personal heartbreak in our lives, we find ourselves not particularly motivated to live forward with a meaningful purpose. Maybe we hope that "some thing" will show up and gives us new motivation to live with purpose. Usually, that's not the case. I am reminded of Andy's line to Red in "The Shawshank Redemption." Andy turned to Red and simply said, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." Now, that a bit extreme, but finding purpose and living forward require MOVEMENT on our part. Engaging a meaningful and purpose driven life is not random. It starts with one action, then followed by another, and another, etc. 

They said to me, after my wife died and I was alone with my heartbreak, "It's time to move on." Sounds cruel. It wasn't meant to be cruel, but it felt that way. Grieving isn't something we "move on" from. If it's real grief, you can't moved past it, hude from it, or imagine it away. Beware of the LIE OF MOVING ON.

The experience of devastating loss is not something we asked for. Heartbreak, failure, sorrow, disappointment, fear .... we did not ask for these things to shatter our lives. And yet, here we are. Life is asking us two questions: 1) Are we going to stay right where we are, or 2) are we going to live forward? My TEDx talk, back in February, was entitled, "Living Forward is a Choice", and this is not the first time I have entitled a podcast episode with this moniker. Our lives are defined by choices. Regardless of your journey of grief, where are you currently positioned? Are stuck, or are you moving forward?

The practice of living forward, especially after a life-shattering event, is a choice. For the griever, it is about choices lived one step at a time. It's not about a clear path, but clear step of faith. Are we waiting until we have all the answers? Absolutely not! If we wait until we "think" we have the answers, we'll never start. The comeback about commitment. To commit is hard, but with each step, it increases the momentum. Let's talk about our decisions to begin our comebacks.

Yes, grief leaves us sapped of our stength, lost in hopelessness, and being unable to do even the most mundane of things. The motivation has seemingly left us. I todays episode we look to a "Choice" of intentional discipline. It's not about many steps. it's not about take a long stride. It's about choosing to take one step, the first step, not because we're motivated but because we must. It only take ONE, but we need a RESOLVE mindset to do that which we don't feel like doing. Let's take about the unsuspected killer of our will to Live Forward. The motivation that won't seem to come.