Says Who?
by Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker
In 2016, two friends—and author and a journalist--sat down to ride through the final weeks of the Presidential election by talking to the journalists covering it. They thought they were doing eight episodes. They were wrong. What started as a short trip has become a long and strange journey. They’ve gotten weird. They’ve made friends along the way. Mostly, the weird part, though.Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Maureen Johnson, and legendary publisher of Punk Planet Magazine Dan Sinker as they digest the news each week. Says Who: it’s not a podcast—it’s a coping strategy.
Episodes
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NOT TAKING IT PERSONALLY
Someone wrote a really, really long post. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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THE TOOTH MAN
This week, Dan and Maureen look at life two weeks away from the 2026 midterm election, which means it’s time to talk about the people who have been inside Maureen’s skull this week. And if we’re talking about that, of course we have to talk about everyone’s favorite character: The Tooth Man. You...
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GOVERNMENT SEX PLANE
Maureen shouldn’t be allowed to tour. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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CINCINNATI IS NOT CLEVELAND
Remember when we said there wouldn't be an episode this week? Well strap in Sayswhovians because not only IS there an episode it is actually RECORDED LIVE AND IN PERSON. In the dark, by a lake, with a rat. So, you know, a very Maureen and Dan live recording, captured while Maureen is out on tour...
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ARCH OF DRONES
It’s almost time for Maureen’s book to come out! She’s getting ready for tour. Someone took all her kitchen drawers and are tooth is exploding, so things are right on schedule! Dan would like to help plan. And also, tell her about Trump’s wonderful plans for the Kennedy Center, some art, and a...
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FRANKENMITCH
HE’S ALIVE! Sort of! Technically??? Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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BALLROOM BLITZ
Whoa! Dan can’t believe that it’s September! He has no idea where is in time! That’s okay. Maureen will help. These pictures of RFK and Vance chowing down on sauerkraut while Marco Rubio lurks in the background will help ground him. Probably. For sure all this Trump ballroom and arch talk will...
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CANADA DIE!
Welcome to September, SaysWhovia! What a fall we are about to have. FALL IS RIGHT, right? And new war just dropped—this time, Canada! Sure. Why not. But Dan and Maureen are here to talk about coping. About protecting your mind and body and this time. This includes teeth, which cannot be trusted....
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WEST WING GIRL
Dan and Maureen are back and ready to rocket into the autumn of 2026! It’s been a spicy summer, and it’s we’re going into a fall that will break the Scoville scale. In the meantime, let’s catch up and hear about the totally normal and not at all weird person who follows Trump around with a…
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FAILURE IS SOMETIMES AN OPTION
Maureen has been alone for ten days with an orbital sander and a dream—a dream of a thing she thought would be easy and fun and take a few days. That is not how this went down. She needs to talk to Dan about it. Failure is fun! And important! And definitely what is happening right now! Dan is not...
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RAINBOW DAN
We’re back! Dan’s in California, going to Disney and living his best life under an orange tree. Maureen has been left to her own devices for ten days and bought a bunch of power tools. Time to think about the Big Picture—living right, climate change, does the Senate even matter, and how many…
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GRIM, FUNNY
Dan and Maureen are back! Well, to SaysWhovia. Maureen is in NYC. Dan is dragging a metal house across America and is a little nervous about it. Obviously, this week we’re going to talk about Which Senators Are Dead—a creepy new game that’s more challenging than it appears. We missed so many…
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THE FYRE FESTIVAL OF SEMIQUINCENTENNIALS
The Fourth of July, and America's 250th birthday, is this week and the vibes are off. But it's OK because a good old fashioned state fair has set up in the nation's capital and it's going just great. Plus: pretty soon someone's launching nearly a million firework shells. Nothing can stop us now....
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POND SCUM
Well, obviously Dan and Maureen are going to talk about the reflecting pool. Obviously. But also! RFK has pockets full of sauerkraut, we tried to invade Greenland for Red Lobster, and Maureen spills on a secret she’s been keeping for MONTHS! Just put your suit on, SaysWhovia. And maybe some...
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FANS AND SOUP
What’s that feeling in the air? It’s patriotism! We’re celebrating 250 years of whatever this is the way our wacky founding fathers would have wanted—turning the reflecting pool green, wrapping the Kennedy Center in a tarp, and having a cage match on the White House lawn. But it’s not even our...
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TOR-ISTS
Dan and Maureen are back after a brief and unexpected hiatus. Maureen has many things to tell Dan—so many adventures in England. This includes the new SaysWhovia Manor. Let’s ignore the news for a minute and hear about our future in the past, when we all get really into falconry and magick. Grab...
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MR NEGATIVE'S TUBE OF DOOM
Hey SaysWhovia, there's a big vat of chemicals threatening to blow, a Ultimate Fighting Championships ring getting built at the White House, and DoJo's getting married. So clearly: It's our time. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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THE HAPPIEST CAT IN TOWN
Is it all feeling like a lot, SaysWhovia? That’s because it is. The UK doesn’t know who’s in charge. Voting rights have been jettisoned back to Jim Crow times. Trump is driving around in the reflecting pool. New virus just dropped. But this is a copying strategy! And those racist Confederate…
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DAN'S MAGIC MACHINE
There was nothing to talk about this week. Nothing at all. So Dan built a machine. A machine to write a book. On a week where nothing happened. You get it. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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CRUISE THE HORMUZ
This week, take a trip with Dan and Maureen to the weirdest cruise route (currently) in the world. Also, let’s talk writing! And why everyone has to get really drunk to be around Trump. And how there’s a war but it’s not a war and it’s won already but it’s about to start except it is over and the...
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YOU GOT VANCED
Dan and Maureen have a new home! They just need to legally buy it and move in, but it is theirs. Dan is going to become a Druid and Maureen is going to make food and write spells. Why not? After all, this week: JD Vance destroyed the hopes of the Hungarian far-right and then tanked talks with…
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PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999
Dan and Maureen get together on this Wednesday morning (a day later than usual) to break down the important things: Maureen’s new kitchen blind, a planner from Staples, possible nuclear war, mysterious fried chicken smells, the blessed air purifier, a head of FEMA teleporting to a Waffle House…
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WHERE THERE'S SMOKE
Dan has been out on the road working on his book and now he is tired. Also, he has not been looking at the news. But Maureen has a story that summarizes all he, and SaysWhovia, needs to know. Hold on to your butts, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon…
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A JAR IN A SKIRT
How’s anyone supposed to cope with things these days? The war? The chaos? The madman in charge? So many problems! Dan is worried. Everybody relax, because Maureen has an idea. Nice deep inhale, SaysWhovia. Everything’s going to be fine now. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support…
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SHOES, YOU LOSE!
What’s that sound, SaysWhovia? Why, that’s the sound of tiny shoes and great big shoes—shoes of every size, tapping all over the White House! Special Correspondent A.C. Shoe reports from the remains of the East Wing, where there’s something afoot! Seriously, this week is terrible so we’re going…
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THE SECOND GUY AND THE THIRD GUY
Maureen has pneumonia and now she and Dan are going to try to explain the war, and also 2001: A Space Odyssey. This is one of those episodes, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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ONE LITTLE PEPPERCORN
Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness, arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn. The UK is full of intrigue! Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why...
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WHAT THE *&@$ HAPPENED TO PAM
It’s Maureen’s birthday week! She’s spending it in her signature style—walking maybe too far, biting off more than she can chew, and organizing her notebooks. Meanwhile, Dan has been enjoying a little summery weather in the middle of the cold winter. While he was out, he heard a story. He wants…
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TOO MANY DUCKS
Dan and Maureen are easing into February with clear heads and warm hearts. It’s basically still New Year’s, so Maureen is talking planners! But in an okay way. She really has a grip on it now. The problem, actually—or the subject—is ducks, and their organization. Sometimes, you just have too…
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MAUREEN'S ROCKS
So it turns out Maureen has been collecting rocks all this time. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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ICE ICE BABY
SaysWhovia! We are back. Well, Dan has been here all along suffering through *waves hands in all directions* with the rest of you. But Maureen? Maureen has been away! Offline! Disconnected! And she's made a big mistake: She came back. Welcome to hell. Says Who is made possible by you, through…
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INTO THE PIT
2026 has arrived on the stage with a lot to prove. Thirteen days in, Dan and Maureen try to parse it all, and they have an idea: bear holes. Get digging, SaysWhovia. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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NO DIRECTION
Welcome to 2026? Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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MAUREENOLOGUE
It's the end of the year and Maureen has some things to say. Happy New Year? Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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BIG MUG
This week, as 2025 draws to a close after an astonishing 11 month run, Dan and Maureen find themselves the holiday spirit. Maureen has a great big mug from the SaysWho shop that she can barely lift. That’s because she hasn’t been working out in the new airport gyms. She needs to do her pull-ups!...
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GARBAGE BRAGS
This week, Maureen and Dan had to record on Monday, so whatever weird stuff happened on Tuesday, they don’t know about. Don’t tell them. No spoilers. Because this episode is about wonderful things. Maureen has a magical encounter with a SaysWhovian. Dan’s wonderful holiday stockings are flying…
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AMERICAN CANYON
Gobble gobble! It’s pretty much Thanksgiving! This week, Dan and Maureen are reflecting on 2025 so far. Like Trump falling in love with Mamdani. Stuff like that. Also, is stuffing any good? But really, Dan is trying to catch a fly. 90% of this episode is Dan trying to catch a fly, which has got…
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WE DID NUZZI THIS COMING
Hey, SaysWhovia, are you ready for a little extra this week? This is the Fish Delight of Says Who—50% more—and all of it rich and filling! Come with us as we find out what’s happening with the Epstein emails. Then, Trump finally gets to meet his heroes at McDonalds. And then… then Dan and Maureen...
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OKAY FRODO
This week, Maureen is on her way to Iceland, and Dan is in Chicagoland, where the battle rages on. Time to talk about the ACA and the Democrats in general! Which is going to be spicy! Grab a puffin, SaysWhovia. It’s time to get real. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our...
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OYSTERS!
Surprise! It was Maureen’s mom’s birthday. She is in PA. There was a party. Actually, there was more than one party. Maureen is still there, so things are going great. She wishes she was in NYC to watch NYC try to get its first non-clown mayor. You already know what happened, SaysWhovia. Dan and...
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FLYING ON ONE WING
Dan and Maureen are back after an unexpected absence (last week’s episode had to go to the Secret Place). A lot has happened! Maureen is trying to make a fake restaurant. Dan drove around with a ghost. No one is sleeping! Meanwhile, the Battle of Chicago is real and raging on. Dan reports in. NYC...
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392th BONUS EPISODE SPECTAULAR!
In 2016, two babies sat down to make an eight episode podcast. Now, on episode 400, they reflect on all the things they didn’t know going into this idea—namely, anything. They didn’t know anything. How would they have dealt with street kidnappings, COVID, an increasingly unhinged Trump marauding...
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300 FOOT SKELETON
Dan hates Illinois Nazis. But there here, so we're gonna have to deal with them. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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FAT BATTLESHIPS
It's been a week, Sayswhovia. A. Week. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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INFLATE THE BABY
SaysWhovia, some weeks come with too much filling. The news oozes out and gets all over your clothes. This was such a week. And like two people unwittingly and unwillingly taking place in a restaurant challenge, Dan and Maureen have to eat the whole thing. Where to start? The end of non-censored...
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DIVER DOWN
OK yes that thing happened, you know the one. But did you hear about the scuba diver thief at Disney World???? Maureen has a book out, awful news happened, and $10k is missing from a paddleboat in Disney Springs. This certainly sounds like an episode of Says Who, doesn't it. Says Who is made...
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NUMBER NINE NUMBER NINE NUMBER NINE
Nine years ago Maureen and Dan sat down to record an eight episode podcast. Mistakes were made. Here they are, 395 episodes later, while Maureen is in the midst of finishing yet another book, to talk about... whatever fresh hell we all find ourselves in. Says Who is made possible by you, through...
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MR. GIULIANI'S WILD RIDE
We know why you came this week, and we are here to deliver. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
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UTAH COTTON
Dan and Maureen are back! Well, Maureen is still where she was and Dan is still not home, but they are back in SaysWhovia at the end of Dan’s Very Bad, No Good Summer. Dan needs a nap and a hug. He has stories from the American road, though. Have you heard about the vast cotton fields of Utah?...
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ROAD ARMOR
Sometimes you find a mace on the road, SaysWhovia. It’s 2025. Pick it up. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho
About this show
In 2016, two friends—and author and a journalist--sat down to ride through the final weeks of the Presidential election by talking to the journalists covering it. They thought they were doing eight episodes. They were wrong. What started as a short trip has become a long and strange journey. They’ve gotten weird. They’ve made friends along the way. Mostly, the weird part, though.Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Maureen Johnson, and legendary publisher of Punk Planet Magazine Dan Sinker as they digest the news each week. Says Who: it’s not a podcast—it’s a coping strategy.
Hosted by
Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker
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