Skip to content
PodParley
Scripture Read Badly podcast artwork

PODCAST · religion

Scripture Read Badly

by Jeremy and Ryan

A podcast where two grown up pastor's kids read through the stories of the Bible, attempting to avoid heresy and generally having a good time.

Publisher-supplied feed metadata · PodParley refreshed Apr 15, 2026 · Source feed

Subscribe · 0 Bookmark

Episodes

  1. 94: Saul HATES David (1 Samuel 18)

    Saul begins to resent David, after the young upstart starts one-upping him. People seem more inclined to follow David than the (now-denounced-by-God) king, so the king is super bitter about it. He even tries to kill him a couple times with a spear, but David somehow evades him. David is also...

  2. 93: David Kills Goliath (1 Samuel 17)

    It’s the story of an underdog…who gets hit in the head with a rock, then decapitated. That’s right- the flannel-graph lied to us! What exactly went down in the valley that fateful day? In all honesty, I reckon VeggieTales wasn’t too far off by saying, “With God’s help, little guys can do big…

    more

  3. 92: David, the Shepherd Boy (1 Samuel 16)

    God reminds Samuel that Saul isn’t Israel’s rightful king, so he sends him out to meet Jesse and to anoint one of his sons as the next top dog. After passing over all of David’s older brothers, God chooses Dave, so Samuel pours oil on him. Dave also ends up playing the lyre for Saul … Continue...

  4. 91: Saul Rejected as King (1 Samuel 15)

    King Saul was a good king… for a little while. But what happens when he isn’t patient enough to wait for Samuel to offer sacrifices on his behalf? Is this the only thing he has done that has offended God? What is a dog-whisperer? For answers to all these questions and more, tune in! What ……

    more

  5. 90: Saul’s Rash Vow/Jonathan Eats Cursed Honeycomb (1 Samuel 14)

    Jonathan and his armour-bearer make a daring attack from behind enemy lines, while Saul hastily swears vengeance on the enemy. This vow becomes complicated when Jonathan, who was not present to hear it, breaks it. Silly, silly Saul. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email:...

  6. 89: To Obey is Better than Sacrifice (1 Samuel 13)

    In this instalment, King Saul makes a pretty big blunder when he decides to proceed with offering sacrifices before Samuel arrives. Why is this a big deal? Tune in to find out! What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: [email protected] Website:...

  7. 88: Saul’s First Victory (1 Samuel 11-12)

    Saul cuts up some oxen and mails rare steaks all over the country, then leads a very strong force against the Ammonites. They pursue and obliterate the enemy, and Saul looks like he’s actually done something good. His very first act as a king is to mobilise the military and defend his people.…

    more

  8. 87: Saul Chosen as King (1 Samuel 9-10)

    Ryan is sick, but he powered through like a little champ. Saul is introduced, as a tall, dark and handsome type, and he is consequently chosen as Israel’s first king (again, against God and Samuel’s better judgement). Also, God apparently caused some donkeys to disappear so Saul would meet Samuel...

  9. 86: Samuel Judges Israel, But Israel Wants a King (1 Samuel 7-8)

    Sandwich artistry (and curation), Ebenezer stones, and Samuel is quickly disheartened as Israel wants to follow a man instead of their God. Come on, Israel! Get your act together! Did you know ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ has a second- and third- verse? Figgy pudding. What do you think? Did we...

  10. 85: Israel’s Catastrophic Defeat (1 Samuel 4-6)

    Israel carries the ark of the covenant into battle under the false assumption that they will win if it is present…only, they don’t inquire of God beforehand. What results is a military defeat of catastrophic proportions, and the capture of the ark! Bad stuff all around. What do you think? Did we...

  11. 84: Eli’s Awful Sons (1 Samuel 2b-3)

    Hannah makes Samuel “little robes”, Eli’s sons absolutely suck at being humble, faithful priests, and poor Eli gets stuck with it all. Samuel gets called by God to become a lifelong servant. When the Bible says that Eli’s eyesight had grown dim, did that mean he had cataracts? What do you think?...

  12. 83: Hannah’s Humility (1 Samuel 1-2a)

    Hannah was barren, like many other mothers of significant biblical figures up to this point, but that didn’t stop her from believing that God would grant her a son. That son, Samuel, would go on to be the final judge of Israel and anoint the first two kings of Israel. Her willingness to give back…

    more

  13. 82: Interlude (We’re Back!)

    We’ve been quiet for a while. Why? In short: Christmas. Also, Ryan made a new logo. What do you think of it? What are you looking forward to this year with SRB? Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly...

  14. 81: Biblical Discipleship

    In this second in-between-books episode, we discuss how to disciple as Jesus intended, versus how we have – or have not – ourselves been mentored. Are small groups the way to go? Is one-on-one discipleship more appropriate? How do you approach someone you would like to mentor? How do you approach...

  15. 80: The Whole Bible Is An Allegory (Controversial Theology)

    What if more of the Bible was an allegory than we’ve been led to believe? What if none of it is? Is the life, death and resurrection of Jesus the only non-negotiable? What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: [email protected] Website…

    more

  16. 79: Samson Brings Down The House (Judges 15-16)

    Was Samson a failure as a judge? Did his actions reflect his appointment by God over Israel? Was Delilah his wife? Was she evil? What was with Samson and Philistine girls? Was he strong all the time, or did strength rush upon him with the Holy Spirit? We finish out the book of Judges with …...

  17. 78: Samson, Master of Riddles (Judges 13-14)

    The promised son to a couple of Danites grows up to be a bit of a thug (a holy thug…sometimes). Turns out he has a bit of a thing for foreign women, riddles and murder. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: [email protected] Website:...

  18. 77: Abimelech, Gideon’s Worst Son (Judges 9-10)

    We all roughly know the story of Gideon and his 300 men, but did you know Gideon didn’t finish his life like a judge was supposed to? He had heaps of kids and thought of himself as a king. One of his 70 (yes, SEVENTY) sons, Abimelech, was a total tool-bag. He thought he would … Continue reading…

    more

  19. 76: Gideon’s 300 (Judges 7-8)

    After a lengthy cliff-hanger, we resume the tale of Gideon, a nobody who God chooses to be judge over all Israel. Do you know how Gideon’s story ends? It may not be as you may suspect. Tune in to hear us talk about being sore losers and sore winners. What do you think? Did we … Continue reading…

    more

  20. 75: Gideon Lays a Fleece (Gideon 6-7a)

    Gideon was a pretty insignificant person when God called him a “mighty man”. Not only that, but he also required a lot of reassurance that God wasn’t playing a trick on him. We discuss if his “making sure” was really putting God to the test (a sin), or if God used it to weed out … Continue…

    more

  21. 74: Deborah, the Female Judge (Judges 4-5)

    We discuss why it was significant that God raised up a female judge during a cultural patriarchy. Also, this story features one of the gnarliest deaths recorded in the Bible. Let’s just say someone wasn’t a happy camper… What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email:...

  22. 73: Ehud, the Left-handed Assassin (Judges 3)

    We’re all familiar with this story. A left-handed man stabs a fat king until the sword disappears in his rolls. What did this mean for Israel? Who was Ehud? Why was being left-handed significant? What can we learn from this story? Was anyone else described as “obese” in the Bible? All these...

  23. 72: Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1-4)

    We interrupt this jaunt in Judges to bring you the story of a widow from a neighbouring nation; a woman who makes quite an impact on events moving forward. Not to spoil anything, but her story intersects with that of another significant female figure which we covered in the last book. We follow…

    more

  24. 71: Israel’s First Civil War (Judges 20-21)

    The tribe of Benjamin chuck a Sodom and Gomorrah and do something terrible, only this time there aren’t angels to interfere and strike everyone with blindness. THEN, they act all defensive when the other tribes get upset. THEN, they go to war against the rest of the country. THEN heaps of people...

  25. 70: A Levite’s Concubine Cut Into Pieces (Judges 19)

    During the time of Othniel, the first Judge, Israel is in a pretty bad spot. This story follows a Levite and his concubine as they are left to their own devices. What results is a pretty gruesome sign being mailed to each of the tribes of Israel. In this episode, Jeremy and Ryan get confused …...

  26. 69: Othniel, the First Judge (Judges 1-3a)

    Israel is beginning to spiral out of control following the death of Joshua. They’ve taken Jerusalem, but then they are oppressed by Cushion Man and his forces for a number of years. Who will God rise up to deliver the people? None other than Caleb’s nephew/son-in-law (don’t think about it),...

  27. 68: Micah’s Household Idols (Judges 17-18, 1)

    Lithuanian language tricks, a guy gets a personal priest and worships idols, which get stolen by other Israelites and worshiped elsewhere. How the people have fallen! We lay the ground work before we talk about the first judge. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Ryan later…

    more

  28. 67: Intro to Judges (Judges 1)

    We begin our look at this juicy book by talking about how it was compiled in order of depravity, not chronology. We also talk about how sock wrestling could be made more interesting…. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: [email protected] Website:...

  29. 66: Joshua Wrap-Up (Joshua 20-24)

    Another book has come and gone. This time, we discuss tribal land allotments, roasts, deal with a couple internet issues, hear about how Jeremy and Ryan met, conclude our thoughts on Joshua and the conquest of Canaan, ask some dumb questions and undoubtedly get a bunch of things wrong. Jeremy’s...

  30. 65: Was the Conquest of Canaan Justified? (Joshua 11-19)

    We discuss the morality of Israel slaughtering whole towns, and whether “the God of the New Testament” was really behind it. We also talk about inheritance again, and how to dress when the weather starts changing. Do you agree or disagree with anything we said in this episode? We would love to…

    more

  31. 64: The Day the Sun Stood Still (Joshua 9-10)

    Achan’s dumb sin has been done away with, so God is able to deliver Ai into the hands of the Israelites. Joshua yells at the sun and it doesn’t set. Was this the summer solstice, or something else? Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook:...

  32. 63: Achan and Ai- Undermining the Victory at Jericho (Joshua 7-8)

    Dodgeball. Also, how one guy disobeying the instructions given by God led to the death of many, including himself and his family. Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter:...

  33. 62: The Destruction of Jericho (Joshua 6)

    Dated meme culture, creepy old cartoons, plenty of VeggieTales, Jesus as the “Commander of the Armies of the Lord”, the structure of the city of Jericho, vuvuzelas, and God leading Israel to a ridiculous victory. Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com...

  34. 61: Entering the Promised Land! (Joshua 3-5)

    After many, many years in a foreign land and wandering around the wilderness, Israel finally enter Canaan and set about claiming their inheritance. God does a miracle, people hear of it and are afraid, and so on. Contact us! Email: [email protected] Website:...

  35. 60: Rahab, the Harlot (Joshua 2)

    Car chases, Assassin’s Creed, prostitutes, espionage, and coveralls. Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us a...

  36. 59: Be Strong and Courageous (Joshua 1)

    Season Three is here! We recap 40 years in the wilderness, discuss who Joshua was, and how it would have felt to be commissioned by Yahweh himself. We also have a short appearance from our very first guest! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often:...

  37. BONUS: Contentious Topics: Marriage & Divorce

    Jeremy had a conversation with someone that got him thinking; Ryan read something in the Bible that got him thinking. As a single guy and a newlywed, how much can we actually say about divorce? As a treat, this episode is available on Facebook as a video! How many times does Jeremy change clothes...

  38. 58: Torah Wrap-Up (Deuteronomy 28-34)

    As we stated in episode 57, Deuteronomy is basically Moses’s speech at the end of his life, so we didn’t feel like we needed to hang out there too long! Moe dies on the mountain and Joshua takes over. Who wrote the last chapter of Deuteronomy if Moses supposedly wrote the whole Torah? What is …...

  39. 57: What’s Deuteronomy All About? (Deuteronomy Overview)

    Ever wondered what the last book of the Torah is all about? Tune in to find out some of the answers! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Email:...

  40. 56: Falling Short of the Promise (Numbers 32-36)

    A few of the tribes decide to cash in their inheritance before crossing the Jordan, and we talk about what that means in the long run. Also, a shout out to everyone named Joseph! And we finish the fourth of five books in the Torah! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get …...

  41. 55: Women Get An Inheritance (But Only Some) and a Priest Stabs People (Numbers 25-31)

    God (allegedly) sanctions bullying, Ryan avoids a low-hanging pun, Israel yokes themselves to other gods, Jeremy reminisces about writing controversial hardcore song lyrics, the last of the old generation die (except Moses), Trogdor, women get an inheritance (under specific circumstances) and...

  42. 54: Balaam’s Talking Donkey (Numbers 21-24)

    What are “fiery serpents”? There’s a cool foreshadowing of the Cross, a king hires a dude to curse Israel, but he can’t help but speak blessings! What a crazy time. Oh, and a donkey speaks. No biggie. Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often:...

  43. 53: Moses Strikes The Rock (Numbers 20)

    Miriam dies, Edom refuses to let Israel walk through his lawn, and Aaron likewise kicks the bucket. Also this episode: everyone’s favourite segment, “Tell Us What This Chapter Is About In Less Than Five Seconds”, Dwayne Johnson, Nicholas Sparks and a few dodgy audio issues. Join our Patreon...

  44. 52: People Killed For Picking Up Sticks? (Numbers 15-17)

    We try out a new segment, we discuss playing Pick-Up Sticks, and we also cover the rebellion of Korah. Does God just kill people willy-nilly? The earth swallows some lads and we try to decipher the meaning behind the story. Also, Aaron’s staff buds and produces ripe almonds. Join our Patreon...

  45. 51: Spies, Giants and Grapes (Numbers 13-14)

    Moses sends out a dozen blokes, most of whom convince an entire generation of Israelites that they’re grasshoppers in comparison to the inhabitants of Canaan. How big was that bunch of grapes? Why was the nation so against setting out to conquer the Promised Land right away? What were they…

    more

  46. 50: Quail and Quarrelling (Numbers 10b-12)

    The Israelites go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah; obscure Narnia quotes; Keith Green references; renaming brothers-in-law “Hobab”; Israel insists on quarrelling and making a fuss. Silly Israel. Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often:...

  47. 49: The Nazarite Vow (Numbers 6-7)

    Ryan and Jeremy get bogged down talking about “strong drinks” for a while, they discuss the origins of hipsters, the “Nazarite vowel”, and Ryan bemoans not being able to grow a beard…yet! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often:...

  48. 48: So Many Numbers! (Numbers 1-2)

    Israel is in the wilderness. We list numbers of things in Numbers, Jeremy coins the expression “at a punch”, we give an overview of Numbers, talk about the author, context, etc., etc., etc. Also, the real debut of the bass guitar. Like the show? Consider leaving us an awesome review on iTunes!…

    more

  49. 47: The year of Jubilee! (Leviticus 20-27)

    We wrap up Leviticus by talking about the Sabbath year and the year of Jubilee. We discuss how that could work today, and how to not go about it. We also talk about nicknames and how people insist on calling Ryan “Luke”, even if they haven’t met him before. Weird. Join our Patreon community to …...

  50. 46: Why Can’t We Eat Blood? (Leviticus 17-19)

    Vampires outlawed, but aliens welcomed. Laws given regarding sanitation. What does “uncovering nakedness” mean? What does “love your neighbour as yourself” mean? Join our Patreon community to support the program: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail:...

View all 96 episodes →

Type above to search every episode's transcript for a word or phrase. Matches are scoped to this podcast.

Searching…

We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.

No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.

Showing of matches

No topics indexed yet for this podcast.

Loading reviews...

ABOUT THIS SHOW

A podcast where two grown up pastor's kids read through the stories of the Bible, attempting to avoid heresy and generally having a good time.

HOSTED BY

Jeremy and Ryan

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does Scripture Read Badly have?

Scripture Read Badly currently has 96 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is Scripture Read Badly about?

A podcast where two grown up pastor's kids read through the stories of the Bible, attempting to avoid heresy and generally having a good time.

How often does Scripture Read Badly release new episodes?

Scripture Read Badly has 96 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.

Where can I listen to Scripture Read Badly?

You can listen to Scripture Read Badly on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts Scripture Read Badly?

Scripture Read Badly is created and hosted by Jeremy and Ryan.
URL copied to clipboard!