Self Approval School with Libby Bunten

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode references sexual assault, violence, and what is being referred to in the media as “the online rape academy.”This isn’t the episode I was planning to record today. I took the last few weeks off from recording because I was fully immersed in the the pleasure and joy of being celebrated for my birthday for the entire month of April. I brag. In that time I oriented entirely around connection, appreciation, Sisterhood, and plain old fkn fun! It was a much needed reprieve from producing anything and it felt great. And I approve of having taken that time off. But during that time, as most of you probably know, a news headline broke about what is being referred to as “the online rape academy”. I was at home alone in the evening when the headline rolled across my screen.I stared in a state of shock. NOT SURPRISE…because, sadly, none of this is surprising to me. But my system was just in shock trying to process what I was reading. I started sweating, shaking, crying, and a wave of total nausea crashed over me. I was flooded with rage, fear, and grief - all completely normal responses to reading something so vile and disturbing. I’ve had many conversations and interactions with the women and men in my life about this since the news broke, covering a wide range of reactions, emotions, and questions.So rather than step over it and stick to my regularly scheduled programming, I knew I had to come here and talk about it.This episode is one of many to come that I am calling Relevant Rants - episodes where I speak candidly and totally off the cuff about something that is coming up in the world, our culture, or even just my personal life that is relevant to Self Approval School. Especially things that many people who claim to be in the healing industry DO NOT want to talk about publicly. This episode is raw, messy, unedited (as they all are, I brag), and is a space to open a conversation with all of you about this devastating violence we are trying to navigate. And although sharing this episode is simply a drop in the bucket of change, it feels like an important drop on my journey with this podcast.Please leave comments, share about your experience, and feel free to go off about your huge feelings about the matter.Love you so hard.xoLibby Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

*Edit to episode: In an inspired moment I vaguely referenced Brene Brown’s research on belonging and I misquoted it in my excitement. A more accurate reference is below:According to Brené Brown, fitting in is the opposite or even, in stronger words, the enemy of belonging. Fitting in is contorting your authentic self to be accepted by others, while belonging is being accepted for who you truly are. True belonging doesn’t require editing yourself; it requires the courage to show up as in your true self, which sometimes means standing alone out on the skinny branch. Or, as I like to say, showing up in full self approval!In short, true belonging falls in line with being loved just as you are. xoHello, my love. There are places in your life where you are still seeking approval.But you’re calling it something else.You’re calling it being thoughtful.Being emotionally intelligent.Needing more time.But underneath all of that, you’re waiting.Waiting to be validated.Waiting to be reassured.Waiting for someone to confirm what you already know.In this episode, we’re getting honest about the subtle, socially acceptable ways you abandon yourself and call it “being a good person.”The over-explaining.The checking.The softening of your truth so it lands better.Not because you don’t know…but because somewhere along the way, you learned it was safer to be approved of than it was to be fully yourself.This isn’t about fixing you.It’s about catching the exact moment where you leave yourself,and choosing, instead, to stay.Self Approval School is a reader and listener-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.We talk about:* the quiet ways approval-seeking is still running your life* why it feels so normal and so hard to see* what it actually feels like in your body when you override yourself* and what it takes to start trusting your own authority againIf you’ve been telling yourself you’re just being thoughtful,this one might call you out a little.And confront you - in the best way!Thanks for listening!Love you so hard!xoLibby Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

Trigger Warning: This episode includes mentions of suicide, trauma, and addiction. Please listen with care and honor your body's limits. It you're not in a place to hear that right now, you might want to skip this one or come back when you have more support.Episode Description: In this episode of Self Approval School, Libby shares why she is the one talking about self-approval - and why this work is so deeply personal. She takes you back to her early years growing up poor in a wealthy town, navigating classism, chaos, and powerful but exhausted women who carried everything. Libby talks about parentification, achievement as a survival strategy, eating disorders, body hatred, codependency, and the trans-generational trauma and poverty that shaped her nervous system. She also shares about her mother's deterioration and eventual suicide, and how that loss became one of the deepest reasons she refuses to abandon this work - and why she's so devoted to helping women learn to fully embody self approval and to live it out loud!In this episode, you'll also hear about:• Growing up in a tiny town, steeped in classism and scarcity• How abuse, chaos, and fierce love coexisted in Libby's home• The link between achievement, safety, belonging, and love• Early self-disapproval: eating disorders, body hatred, and codependency• Trans-generational trauma, addiction, and loss• How Libby's mother's death became part of her "why" for this podcast• Why she chose self-approval (not just confidence or mindset) as her life's work.If you've ever wondered "Who am I to do this work?" or felt like your story disqualifies you, this episode offers a raw, honest look at how one woman's pain, lineage, and healing became a devotion to helping other women stop abandoning themselves. Connect with Libby: Website: https://www.libbybunten.comIG: @thelibbybunten Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

In this first episode, I share why I created Self Approval School and what you can expect when you're in this space.We talk about:-What "good-girl" conditioning looks like in real life-How internalized patriarchy and misogyny keep us doubting ourselves-Why self-approval isn't a mindset hack, but a practice of internal intimacy and embodiment-The kind of convos and stories you'll hear on this show if you're ready to feel it all FULLYLove you so hard! xohttps://www.libbybunten.com/ Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe