Seniors in the Building

In this brief but mighty podcast (cut short by construction noise) we not only share the things that we still look forward to, but also those things that keep us leaning toward tomorrow. We look forward to being with family, taking a nap, reading in bed, and oddly enough, doctor appointments, things that in the moment give us pleasure and satisfaction. Staying curious and excited about space exploration, new science discoveries and even our own adventures as we travel keep us looking forward. The knowledge that nothing lasts forever and that eventually things will shift gives us hope and helps us to stay engaged in finding solutions when things go sideways. Ultimately, as we age, we find ways to adapt to our changing lives, counteract the down side of human nature and embrace an evolving world.

Most of us have held beliefs and opinions that once seemed right to us. But then we meet new people, have new experiences and learn new things, discovering in the process that what we once were so certain about doesn’t seem so certain anymore. In this podcast we explore some of those areas where we have changed our minds. The women’s movement helped us to shift from having a career “to fall back on” to having a legitimate career in our own right as women. We have shifted our thinking about gender identity and sexual orientation and who gets to be married and ordained. Our faith traditions broaden to include many other ways to express our religious beliefs. We have even been influenced to change what we wear and how we look, accepting a broader range of options. Listen to our interesting conversation about changing our minds.

What happens in our lives when we notice that fewer people need us? How do we measure our worth? We are loved and beloved by our family and friends and as we age and roles shift, we must somehow accept the limits in our ability to give back to them. It does not change who we are, but it does change how we think about ourselves which can affect our sense of self-worth. Do we feel useless? Can we shift from that to just being present? It’s a process and others who have gone before can be models for us. We laughed about not being able to get up on a ladder anymore, but it is significant as a metaphor because it symbolizes a shift. It is a shift from being needed to needing help. In the end as we each face our own journey of accepting our limits and inviting people to help us, we acknowledge it as part of our human journey and being present to each other on that journey is paramount.

A brief reminder that we're taking a brief break

We live in a challenging world with a lot coming at us from many directions. How do we keep our compassion, our hope and our joy alive? Or do we? We point out all the obvious ways to cope: using humour, taking a walk, reading a book, limiting the amount of bad news we watch and seeking out good news, or doing something nice for someone else. But we also acknowledge the importance of sitting with our distress and listening to the distress of others with open ears and heart. It is not so much about keeping it together as it is about working through and finding a response to challenging times that is uniquely ours and that helps us to take the right action. The conversation is one that makes us work at articulating our beliefs about human nature and how finding and hanging onto the best of our human qualities is important to counteracting the worst of human qualities abundant in the world.

What stops us from talking about death? What stops us from preparing for it? If we talk about death, can it change how we live? Do we talk about death more once we’ve experienced the death of someone close to us? As we answer these questions, our conversation moves from being aware of our death as something unique to the human species to how we are planning for our own death to sharing our stories of the deaths we’ve experienced. Talking about our own death is far easier than talking about the death of someone we love because the thought of them not being in our lives is too painful. Yet, having the conversations with loved ones is important to help us all approach our deaths with healing memories, resolved hurts and a deep love for one another so that our stories live on and our grief reflects our love.

What we now think of as a good day is different than when we were younger. Now a good day can mean being able to roll with what comes, making connections with others, getting out and exercising, checking one thing off the list or simply acknowledging and accepting we are out of sorts. As we laugh and talk about not going to the emergency room as a good day and that eating ice cream makes everything better, we touch something deeper in the human condition. Acknowledging that we are complex as humans helps us understand that pain and joy coexist on a continuum. We cannot appreciate one without the other. Knowing ourselves and understanding how our minds works help us develop the strategies to make our days and our lives richer as we navigate our “good” and “bad” days. Listen to our slightly off the wall yet, insightful podcast.

What things do we keep, why do we keep them and how do we know when it’s time to let them go? That is the question we asked ourselves today. We have gathered and acquired things over a lifetime and now, as we transition from work to retirement and start downsizing, to make it easier for our children when we’re gone, we must figure out what to do with all this stuff. When are we going to get at all those boxes of photos that we have already moved several times? What about the things that belonged to our parents? What about the t-shirts we have hung onto? Or the books? Or the notebooks? Discerning what belongs with us now as we continue to live, remember and become who we want to be is tough. It requires being ready to feel the emotional ups and downs of a well lived life and to let go. It requires establishing a process for making those decisions especially one that works for both partners when the decisions are joint. It requires some grieving. It’s not about rejecting the past or stripping the house bare, it’s about keeping only what belongs with us now and sustains us as we move forward.

We are socialized to be competitive from an early age and given messages about being the smartest, most athletic, or best looking. Conversely, we are told that we are not smart enough to go to university, or athletic enough to make the team or that we are average looking. Were we competitive at a younger age to prove something? Are we still competitive? Can being competitive motivate us? Perhaps seniors are competitive in a different way than when we were young. It is hard to let go of the competitiveness that we once had, especially if we have health issues but the motivation seems to shift from trying to be better than someone else out of fear or insecurity, to bettering ourselves as a way to find joy or contentment.

In earlier years we had bucket lists, things we put on a list and checked off as we accomplished them. In our 70’s we find our lists have become wishes or desires and each thing on it must be examined as to whether it is still possible. We now live under the shadow of health and financial circumstances that may be limiting, family realities and the shortening horizon of time. But that does not limit our wishes, desires or longings, we still have them and having them brings hope. Living by the ocean, becoming a personal trainer, reconciliation with a sister, seeking a way to express our spirituality, are all works in progress that capture our hearts and imaginations. We also have previous desires that we have let go of, no longer running or traveling in the United States or driving across the country are conscious choices we have stopped pursuing. Finding inspiration and meaning in our retirement is the universal impetus for our wishes and desires and is reflected in the choices we make as well as the ones we discard.

In our last podcast on what surprises us we discovered that we experience more fear than we had expected. So how do we thrive and live as full a life as possible in the face of things that make us fearful? What does feeling secure look like? Our discussion identified physical, financial and social components among others, that can create areas of uncertainty. We identified that knowing what our resources are and having a security plan that we can rely on as our needs change are both important. Some of our insecurities have come with us from childhood and we are still looking for ways to overcome them. Being supported by others as we tace our insecurities helps; an affirming shop owner, a good hair stylist, someone to play music with, and a mantra of "I belong here".Being connected to our gym and taking the classes that maintain our mobility is a source of security, as well as knowing that it is a rich resource for the future. The tenacity of others we find there inspire us. Acknowledging what we still have, rather than what we don't have, can be the best way to help us feel secure.

Surprise! We are now in our 70’s and calling ourselves seniors. What are the surprises? What isn’t a surprise? While exploring these questions we discover that we are most surprised about how busy we are with less time than anticipated to pursue our own interests. We are also surprised that out of all the places we have once lived, we find ourselves in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. We are surprised by grandchildren. We are surprised by the nature of the health problems we have but not surprised that we have them. We are surprised by the increase in anxiety and worry; where once we would jump at solving problems, we now would like them to just go away Our conversation about surprises covers the gamut from daily experiences to the political and economic landscape of our lives with some hilarious stops in between. What are your surprises?

Music can do many things; evoke memories, make us feel younger, connect us to others and help us express grief or joy. As we talk, we discover that music also connects us to our culture, to our parents and to our own story of a life lived. It can give us a shared experience with our children and grandchildren and serve as a vehicle to express political unrest. Music has always been there in the background and as we move through our senior years, we seek out the music that gives us what we need at this time in our lives. Whether it’s for comfort, beauty, resonance or self-expression, music has an important part to play.

Is it a minefield or a walk in the park? Today we talk about navigating life’s ups and downs in the context of a long-term relationship. Starting with the dynamics that occur in the car as one person drives and the other is a passenger, we acknowledge the communication patterns that can linger as we navigate new challenges and continue to wrestle with old ones. What are we really saying when asking if the other wants to drive? How does knowing someone so well help or hinder working through problems and making decisions? What underlies the tension that can suddenly be present when trying to talk about an issue? Can simply stating, “I’m getting worried and I wonder if we can think this through together” begin a conversation that avoids a misunderstanding? And if we did this, would we still be in the garage deciding who is going to drive today? Join us as we both laugh and talk honestly about living in long term relationships.

“I believe that everyone’s grief is very unique & personal. But as seniors, we may mourn differently because our life experiences have taught us a variety of coping skills that are transferable now to help us mourn our losses.” That is from today’s guest Colette Howery, answering the question, “Do seniors grieve differently?” Colette is a retired registered nurse and companion to those who grieve. She has recently written a book called Running with the Angels: A bereaved mother’s journey from hopelessness to hope” and talks to us about that journey in today’s podcast. We learn about layered or pancaked grief, how bereavement, grief and mourning are different from each other and we talk about the difficulty in being present to someone who is grieving. Most importantly we hear Colette’s story of loss and how she found hope. Please listen with us. (Running with the Angels is available from Friesen Press, Amazon, Chapters, Indigo, Coles, Barnes &Noble, E-Bay and local libraries)

What are the brave things that we do every day? We often think of bravery as huge acts of courage in times of war or national disasters instead of something we use every day. Gloria Steinem referred to bravery as outrageous acts and everyday rebellions in her book of the same name. Every time we set a boundary with someone or speak out about something we are acting bravely. When we continue to live with dignity, tenderness, curiosity and hope we are acting bravely. When courage fails, we bravely find it again. As we talk about what it might mean to have bravery as a baseline, we discover those ways that bravery has made it into our lives; getting up in the morning even when it’s difficult, going for a walk instead of knapping, asking for what we need, facing crisis, even facing death. We discover that we choose bravery in our daily lives more often than we think.

We are retired and have done a lot among the four of us to contribute to the world. Do we still owe something? We have contributed to our community, to our professions, to the economy and we have prioritized our families, continuing to contribute to the lives of our children and grandchildren. We really don’t owe anything to the world, but we are still called to continue to fight for the big things we have been passionate about like equality and healing the environment. We do owe some things to ourselves and in our conversation, we discover our desire to be kinder, more present to others, and finding inner calm and peace. Instead of being productive and transactional, being in relationship is paramount and ‘to be’ becomes more important that ‘to do’. That changes the question to, "What is the gift I can give the world at this time in my life?", instead of the question, "What do I owe?" It is an inspiring conversation that has us being intentional about asking ourselves, "How am I going to be today?" when getting up in the morning.

What is it like navigating the health care system as we get older? Our Canadian system is different than other countries, but some aspects of caring for seniors is the same. There are typically more health issues to manage, so care can be complex. We see our doctors more, we are referred to specialists more, we get more tests and we may show up in emergency more often. Who is looking at our care wholistically? This typically rests with the family doctor, but our doctor may have a practice rule that you can only talk about one issue per visit, so how do we talk about all our health issues? We find ourselves researching our issues, making a list and trying to use the time we have with our doctor efficiently. How is Artificial Intelligence (AI) affecting our care? Or technological advances? What about wait times in both emergency and community-based care? There are so many aspects to navigating the health care system and this conversation is just the beginning!

Do we still have an inner critic in our 70’s? After three false starts we were finally able to have the conversation. It turns out that talking about our inner critic is painful and old messages surface. So yes, we do still have an inner critic in our 70’s, one that may be even harsher because we don’t have as many distractions to keep it at bay. The deeper task is to develop a more compassionate inner life and to care for ourselves with patience and kindness. We lean into the relationships that support us, and our passions, as well as remember the successes we had while in our careers. We are still taming the inner critic in our 70’s but we have other inner voices that remind us that we are loved and that our lives are meaningful.

Lines from a Blue Rodeo song, ‘Til I am Myself Again start off our conversation about letting go of control. There can be a lot of uncertainties in all areas of our life as we age and one of the biggest fears of aging is losing the ability to make decisions for ourselves. Do we have the option to choose what we let go of? Where do we have control? Where are we obsessive in keeping control?Being aware of any declines and making adaptations to keep ahead of them is part the process, hard as that may be. What about health issues, do preexisting health issues complicate aging? Is the glass half full or half empty, or should we be grateful there is still a glass? Are there ways to hold off some aspects of aging by living well? Finding a community, a place to be connected and supported in our aging, is one key to coping with the uncertainties and change that come as we age so that we aren’t facing them alone.

Fifty Episodes of Seniors in the Building! We celebrate getting to 50 by talking about our journey and the process we use to make the podcast. We give you a sense of how we come up with topics as we brainstorm some ideas for future podcasts. We share what gets edited out and why, the dance around handling politics and religion and what it might be like to still be friends when we are in our 90s. Throughout it all, the importance of listening in the world, reaching out to connect and finding a community is paramount. We invite you to come behind of scenes as we reflect on getting to 50.

“Glory Days” by Bruce Springstein is a song from our youth that laments getting old and telling stories of the past. But do we live in the past now that we are older more than we live in the present? Memory is fickle, which can lead to romanticizing the past. But looking back in history helps remind us of the reality, like women’s fight to gain the right to vote, to work after marriage, have a credit card, etc., an example of the past helping us to build our future. What lies in our past may influence how we view it. If we are now having mobility issues, the past may be a ‘safe harbour’ to go for memories of walking, running or skating. But if there is trauma, our ‘safe harbour’ may be in the present. Seniors have adopted technology and advances in technology help keep us in the present, while also allowing us through YouTube to dip into the things that we enjoyed about the past. Class reunions are an odd mix of past, present and memory all rolled into one. So, do seniors live in a used to be world? We answer that question with an unequivocal yes and no and It’s complicated. And if Ecclesiastes is to be believed, maybe it is unwise to ask the question!

Pride can take many forms, from a quiet sense of self-respect to something that looks like arrogance. As we’ve grown older and tamed some of the inner voices that warn us not to stand out or to think too highly of ourselves, we discover just how much there is to feel good about. It turns out that we have many things we are proud of including purposeful careers, raising healthy children, staying true to our values, overcoming adversity and continuing to learn. Even starting our podcast, challenging as that was, is a source of confidence and satisfaction, especially as we navigate the transition into retirement. From running marathons to teaching our children life skills, to learning about BBLs (listen and find out), pride emerges not as boasting, but as a recognition of a life lived with effort, resilience, and intention.

Betty White said, “Growing old isn’t for sissies”. Indeed, it is easy to focus on the things that we can no longer do, that we have lost, or on our physical ailments, but is there a flip side? Can growing older be fun? Can it have delightful moments? The answer is unequivocally yes. Whether it’s being social and laughing out loud with friends, enjoying our grandchildren, marvelling at the creativity of AI, feeling freer to express ourselves, finding courage to do new things, or discovering that being a senior is not as bad as anticipated, having fun and being playful can also be a part of growing older. We can now do silly things and get away with them and find humour in what we have to adapt to, like being with our spouse 24/7! What’s fun about growing older is worth talking about and a great way to remind ourselves we are always young at heart.

We have lived over 70 years and know something about mess. We also know something about joy and laughter. Yes, the world is a mess and as children of parents who lived through World War II, we were aware of that from an early age. Conflicts, tensions and the continual rise and fall of democracies and dictatorships have been a part of our upbringing. What are the safe landing places that steady us and give us hope? We talk about the patriarchal underpinnings of conflict and the drive for power and control that fuels it. The feminist movement is primary in its importance to the fight and is a safe landing spot. Academic research to seek understand of a conflict both religiously and historically is a safe landing spot. We have seen the conversation change regarding systemic racism and colonialism and that is a landing spot as protests and Pride Parades still happen. Our fierce stance against prejudice moves us to act as we continue to advocate for a world where all nations are equal and all peoples are equal. As our energy wanes, we pass all this onto the next generation so that they may continue to find and grow the safe landing places in our messy world.

As an antidote to what is going on in the world, we have a conversation about our favourite things. What are those things that we like to do, eat, listen to or look at? Can they become not so favourite things over time? Reading has been one of those things we have been doing for a long time and continues to bring pleasure. Running used to be fun, but no longer and other aerobic activities have taken its place. Favourite music becomes unbearable in its patriarchal context. Favourite things can change as we discover new interests or physical limitations force revisions. As we have more time to think, we also make different choices based on what we learn so that what is favourite becomes more consistent with what we value. There are not so favourite things that we continue to do because they are healthy, like medical appointments. And there are favourite things that we rediscover like card collecting. Listen to our conversation exploring what “favourite things” means as we grow older.

Should we be concerned about the amount of TV that seniors watch in retirement? Are there benefits to watching TV or other media formats? What might be the down sides? Is other media also implicated? Watching TV can be entertaining and educational and It can be a window to the world. On the other hand does it reflect boredom or contribute to loss of mobility and chronic disease from sitting too long. Perhaps TV can be done with discernment, and in moderation that prioritizes activity first.

What does love and romance look like when we are older? How does it change over time? What are the hurdles to overcome? The month of February brings Valentine’s Day and a highly romantic notion of love with it. As two older couples who have collectively been married for 96 years, we talk about how love has grown and changed over those years. Citing respect, companionship and a deep understanding of the other person, love becomes broader in perspective and more subtle in its demonstration. Finding ways to keep the balance in the face of health issues and adapting to physical changes is one aspect of love, while maintaining a sense of humour in the face of all changes is another. It doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges, there are many, but asking the question, “What is going on?” helps us to get to the underlying irritants, as does taking a time out from each other now and again. We need a community to help us grow older in love as a couple and engaging others along our journey helps us to gain perspective and feel supported.

Seniors in the Building returns for Season 3! After a short break we begin with an episode on time. How do we understand time? How is time both fact and fiction? The universe unfolds in its own time while we humans create all kinds of constructs around time like a 24-hour clock, calendars and deadlines. When we retire, we move from those constructs into a more fluid, universal sense of time. We may struggle to find the balance between establishing enough structure to shape our days while maintaining the flexibility to be spontaneous and free of constraints. We may focus more on using our energy gaining experiences, moving away from the learning aspects of an earlier time in our lives. We have a sense of ourselves through many generations as part of the whole of our history. Time is stolen with illness when managing health issues fills our time and narrows our focus. We are grateful for the time we have and every year, month, day is a gift. We are also grateful to our technical expert for figuring out how to record and post this while we are in two separate countries. Listen to our episode on time.

Forgiveness is a lifelong journey. Our perspective on forgiveness changes over time and when carrying our woundedness takes up too much space in our lives, we look to let go of it. What does it take to be free of the anger and hurt that we have brought along with us? Is forgiveness different than letting go? Can you forgive without reconciliation? How do we heal broken relationships? It is not always possible to forgive and reconcile, which makes letting go more difficult. Looking for a wider perspective helps and we explore the words of Rolo May, a 20th century existential psychologist, “No person is reducible to their worst act, just as we hope not to be reduced to our worst act”. Our discussion finds us reflecting on our efforts so far to experience freedom from resentments and bitterness. It takes courage to address the need to have closure on relationships and the older we get the more urgent it becomes to take the risk.*Please note that Ellie, our pet, wanted to engage in this conversation so there are a few low level barks and pitter patting of paws included for your entertainment.

In addition to the many areas of decision making that we have carried all our lives like meal planning and preparation, car maintenance, house maintenance and travel, we now must consider new areas that are unique to aging. Decisions related to medical conditions, downsizing, end-of-life planning, finances and family relationships intrude on what is supposed to be a less stressful time of our lives. Continually having to make choices can be exhausting for any life stage but can be particularly exhausting as an older person. Having someone to share the decisions with can be both a help and a hindrance, as we discover, and changing the roles we have had for a lifetime is tricky. The question, “Do you want to drive?” is not the simple yes or no answer it appears to be. This is an engaging, enlightening conversation about decisions and choices.

A big part of the holiday season are the traditions that we keep as a family, as a culture and as a nation. What are those traditions and what do they mean to us? Shopping for meaningful gifts and making sure we find the right gift is a big part of the holiday season, not to mention when those gifts are opened. Traditional foods of the season, often cultural, are also important as are the family gatherings around food. Taking time to be together, whether it’s eating, skating, playing games or hanging out helps us take a break from the everyday weariness of world news and personal struggles. And although we don’t make new year resolutions anymore, as we get older, we are making strategic decisions about how we want to spend the time we have left. Listen to the holiday edition of Seniors in the Building.

Reading is a big part of all our lives, and we have thoughts on that! In this episode we share what reading means to us; how it helped us find calm in large, chaotic families; legitimized being introverted; and was a means to pursue knowledge. We talk about our reading journeys and what books mean to us now. We debate e-books versus physical books and discover a place for both. We laugh with a children’s book and see evidence that we have passed our love of reading on to our children and grandchildren. Reading to grandchildren is the best, and even better when they read to you! Listen and get excited about reading with us.

Is our world more chaotic now? Are we living in unprecedented times? How are we impacted? More to the point, how will our children and grandchildren be impacted? What will they inherit? After a brilliant introduction, our conversation wandered somewhat from climate change to Artificial Intelligence (AI) to whether there were any historical precedents to what we are experiencing to getting overwhelmed by news and how to discern whether it’s true or not, back to AI and then positivism. We conclude we are living in turbulent times and that they are unsettling but continue to be present to our children and grandchildren in the chaos, facing it together and in community.

What are the hard times that we have lived through? Is hardship also suffering? And what about wild times, does that equate with hard times? What are the hard times that have left a mark on us? What is that mark? How does it impact our tolerance or compassion? We take on these questions and have a compelling conversation about how our lived experiences have shaped us and what we learned from them. We are forever changed by events that affect us deeply and are always working through them on some level at different times in our lives. Retirement is one of those times that brings the unexpected resurfacing of the traumas of our younger selves at a time when we may be declining in health and experiencing new hardships. We explore how we manage and cope, the unrealistic societal expectations around hardship and loss, and how we continue to care for our retired selves and others in the face of human suffering

How would you characterize your childhood? When we jokingly refer to our childhoods as feral, we are really talking about the kind of childhood that had fewer rules, with parents that didn’t hover and where we learned how to trust our wits when the ground gave way. We share the funny stories, the daring stories and the stories that leave us shaking our heads. We share what we learned about fairness, justice and courage. How did our childhoods affect the way we parented our own children? What were the skills that we came away with that we still use today? From building tree houses out of stolen materials and protesting being banned from the playground to running free on the beach all summer and sleeping alone in the bush, we have a lot of fun telling our stories from a feral childhood!

Nancy Phillips joins us today on the podcast. A retired nurse, writer, and Spiritual Director, she developed and now leads “Growing in Wisdom” a 2-year program focused on the spirituality of aging. Nancy spent the first year of her early retirement dealing with illness and the death of loved ones at a time when she needed to rest. She tells her story of finding a way out of the weary space she was in and onto a whole new path of healing, growing and discovery, one she now offers to others. Nancy describes the four things that she has found can assist us on our spiritual journey; establishing a contemplative practice; engaging and accepting our aging body with compassion; finding opportunities to talk about death and dying; and becoming a blessing elder. Listen as we talk with her, share our own stores, and explore what it means to age with wisdom and grace.

Ageism is not always obvious, and although it can happen to anyone at any age, it seems to particularly affect people at both ends of the age spectrum, older and younger. In our conversation we share times when we suspected ageism was involved like sitting in a queue for surgery or trying to find a job at age 62 and times where ageism was blatant. Often ageism is couched in a safety context, like when our children express concern for the activities we undertake, or when someone insists that we sit on public transit instead of stand. Ageism is built into many institutions, like health care, education, the insurance industry and into workplaces. When assumptions are made that we are vulnerable and need protecting, the wealth of knowledge, emotional maturity and experience that we have acquired is lost. We have all found ways to fight against these assumptions and not let ageism stop us from doing and learning new things every day.

What are those moments in our lives that we found moving, profound or life changing, those moments of mystery? Although difficult to define and at times difficult to describe, we explore the topic with a sense of charting unknown waters. Mystery is the unknown and those moments of mystery that change us, affect the core of who we are as we grow older. Experiencing mystery as we walk the Camino Trail or see geese fly up above our heads while wilderness canoeing, move us and unite us with something greater than ourselves. In those moments we can experience a sense of joining with generations before, or a deep appreciation for nature and its unknowns, or awe for the vast universe or how our bodies work. We are all explorers, unwrapping layers of mystery like an onion, looking for the greater depths. Being open to mystery creates room for questioning and standing before mystery keeps our curiosity and wonder alive as we age.

In the current political climate Canadian identity has been front and centre in this country. We have a lively conversation about some of the things that make us Canadian and what we love about Canada. Canada is multicultural, welcoming immigrants and their cultures as well as the knowledge that they contribute to the growth of Canadian culture. We are a peacekeeping nation and value that role in the world. We share our own stories of being/becoming Canadian. We speak to the matter that not all have felt welcome to be part of Canada. We also explored the tension we experience between thinking globally and particularly trying to balance world issues with our local and provincial lives. Climate change, for example, takes a world effort and is being challenged in that effort by nationalistic boundaries, although the scientific community is one that cooperates beyond those boundaries. Listen as we touch on Justice Murray Sinclair's four identity questions: Where do I come from? Where am I going? Why am I here? Who am I?

A mantra that we hear a lot today is that everything is broken. How do we respond when we hear that Canada is broken, or the climate is broken, or the relationship is broken and the only way to fix it is to throw everything out and start over? The notion that despair generalizes, and hope particularizes can be applied as a fundamental truth to help us look beyond the ‘everything is broken’ mentality to what is true about a situation. Looking at all sides of an issue in all its complexity helps to break it down into smaller components identifying those things that aren’t working and revealing those things that are working just fine. Listen as we share our thoughts and experiences on the topic that goes from fixing things, to complexity, to hope and despair and finally to being human.

How important is hope in our lives? How do we maintain hope as we grow older? What supports hope day to day? Through our conversation, we grapple with what hope means to us in our daily lives. As we share our stories, it becomes evident that having a community is crucial to having hope. From immigrants hoping for a new life in freedom, to moving forward together after the death of parents, hope is nurtured in the presence of others and is stronger when shared with others. Caring for others is a hopeful act, listening, sharing food, or sitting with someone can instill hope. Corporate and institutional worlds can and do build in hopeful strategies to support community and connection. To continue to hope in the face of world events or personal challenges takes courage and it is as essential to us as air, food and water.

What does it mean to be human in today’s world? Philosophy and Religious writings through the ages have addressed this, but we wanted to talk about it from our perspectives. And perspectives we had! Humans are complex beings and out of this comes the range of emotions, thoughts, beliefs and values. How do we maintain human rights for all and offer respect and dignity to even those we oppose. How do we teach the value of human emotions and grow empathy and compassion in the world? What happens when we have bullies controlling information? How do we stand up against the loss of rights and freedoms that we see happening in the world? These matters emerge in our conversation on being human.

Making a podcast is fraught with all kinds of crazy things that can happen, like our false start for this one that we didn’t edit out. It also takes on a life of its own as we talk through our topic, moving in lots of directions. We do eventually cover the reasons why we started it in the first place, why we are still doing it, and how we hope to shape it in the future, acknowledging that conversations with friends and expanding horizons are at the core. Secondary to that is the notion that we might have something to share that others can identify with. Listening to podcasts is a way to engage with other people, learn about their lives and take a break from the heavy things happening in the world right now, helping us to feel more connected and to gain a different worldview. Listen to this somewhat behind the scenes conversation about podcasting.

Active Living Week is coming up in our province which prompted this lively podcast about our relationships with exercise. We share our exercise stories, whether it has been part of our life or not and how we view it now. How does exercise affect our physical health and mental health? How do we make it a habit? Our conversation explores the benefits of exercise, the difficulty of keeping it up, how to get motivated and the new things we have learned lately about exercise i.e how to keep healthy bones and feet. We share the adaptations we have had to make as we have gotten older. In the end finding the best way to exercise that works for us is the most important thing.

Rick and Elaine celebrated 50 years of marriage this year and honoured that, in part, by embarking on a month-long trip to Great Britain. Hear about their adventures tillering a long boat on the canals, visiting Wrexham in Wales, touring Scotland, glamping and even a trip to the A&E (emergency room). Throughout the discussion, we talk about the changes we have made in travelling as older adults now. Taking more time, locating hospitals, washrooms and other amenities, planning in greater detail and other strategies are discussed as the we share our travel adventures.

“Good aging” - Words of wisdom from Signe’s mother!This was a fun episode to share with all of you. Ninety-two year old Joan (pronounced Joanne) has experienced much in her life and she is willing to share some of the wisdom she has gained in her own aging process. She speaks to what we face today in our political and social world, that we need to be grateful for having a life, for sharing life with others, and making the most of the life we have been given. Gratitude can help handle situations one might face and certainly relieves resentment and hate. Growing older is a "plus". Not everyone gets to grow old.Her list of “good aging” might not fit precisely into our own situation, but it gives us pause and inspiration to appreciate what we do have as we age.

An interesting discussion on celebrations and what they mean to us and in society. From very personal celebrations to national holidays, celebrations can evoke a lot of different thoughts and feelings. Canada Day, for example, is a celebration of Canada, but it does not reflect the Indigenous experience in Canada. Holidays can be hijacked by commercialism and fuel expectations that can take away from the holiday and evoke a sense of loneliness. On the flip side, celebrations can also take us out of our everyday life and create a special moment to have a conversation or commemorate someone or something. New celebrations like Pride parades can arise in protest and be an affirmation. We end with the thought that celebrating achievements and accomplishments like finishing a renovation or receiving a degree can be made very meaningful when done with intention and fun.

We return to the topic of being “retired” and explore what it means to be in the space of retirement. Staying connected to our past work, exploring other interests, moving from one city to another or taking temporary contracts have impacted our retirement so far. But we are starting to see elderhood as a time to explore new opportunities, nurture others and use our newfound freedom to curate what we have in our lives and what we don’t. Health is important and mobility, which means making adaptations when things change, taking risks and mitigating them. And as we finance our retirement, we talk more about what we are spending our money on, prioritizing what is important to us. Ultimately, we are reconstructing our life and our identity as we move through our 3rd Stage. The conversation is lively with some great anecdotes.

Without engaging in nostalgia, we begin by talking about trends in fashion, music and sports that started out on the fringes and are now mainstream. How we act on our beliefs and values is changing. For example, our participation in the women’s movement has gone from participating in protests to supporting female businesses, authors and influencers daily. Technological, automotive and other such trends are explored as they shifted to mainstream. Sustainability has come to the fore as second hand markets, growing produce and preserving it, do it yourself renovations and other practices are notably practiced today. The long term benefits of these trends are worth supporting individually and as a society.