SHAREapy. The Podcast

Substack—what’s up, guys?Seems like maybe a long time since I’ve done something specifically for Substack, but the reality is God has had me creating in so many ways lately. He’s had me contemplating, writing shorts, recording short videos, and telling a lot of the story of my past season—some of the stuff that you guys know already—and sort of recapping that, capturing some of that, capturing some of the day-to-day stuff that I have navigated in the last six years.As we are hopefully—and I’m not saying “hopefully” like doubtful, but hope fully, two words—walking out of the valley of the shadow of death.Now, obviously, the last big hurdle is full knee replacement. You know, it’s a very difficult procedure. It’s a very rough thing for me to endure physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. But I feel like God is calling me out of this season and into the next. And this project has been very much so focused and pointed in the contemplation of the things that I’m going to take from this season into the next.A lot of that is on Instagram or YouTube—some of it even posted on TikTok. I’ll leave a link for at least the YouTube, because on YouTube I’ve organized it in a way that you can just go to that playlist and kind of see all the episodes. It’ll be a minimum of 53 episodes, because God gave me this idea 53 days before my full knee replacement, and that’s where the content is going to live.But I really encourage you to go check out some of that stuff. It has been wonderful for me to kind of ask God daily, “Hey, you know, this has been the hardest six years of my life. I know that you’ve changed me and molded me into what you want me to be walking into my next season.” And I don’t think that He would give me this project if we weren’t walking into the next season.So some of the things that I know will be in the next season—I have dreams and visions and plans—and I’ve already begun to write for the Blessed and Bruised podcast. I know that this one has been called SHAREapy: The Podcast, and I think it is still going to be the intent to create a safe space for two people to meet and talk and share faith, food, fears. And so we’ll have some fun with that and invite some people into that conversation—some people that you may not exactly expect.I don’t feel super called to have a ton of pastors on—I mean, no offense at all—but I really feel like God’s called me into ministry in a bit of a wilderness. And I just want to talk to some people that have kind of gone through it too, you know?And so, you know, that’s the Blessed and Bruised podcast.There is still, very clearly, a plan to develop a course—SHAREapy 101, I’m calling it. So we will have coursework and curriculum on how to connect with love and empathy to others by SHAREing your blessings and bruises in a safe space.I also think that there’s still work to be done and the opportunity to develop the app for that faith-based connection that has a lot of this coursework and tools kind of built into it.So there’s a lot—there’s a lot coming.I physically have to get healthier for a lot of that stuff to kind of move into its next phase, but a lot of the work has started while we are walking out of this valley.So I just want to thank you, real quick, for supporting me on here. You know, it is going to be a journey. One month from today, actually—we are 30 days out from full knee replacement.I have gone to physical therapy twice in the last two days—two out of two days—started back into what is my prehab season, going back in an attempt to increase some of the extension, flexion, mobility, and strength so that I can be in the best possible situation for this upcoming surgery.That has not been easy, just in these last two days. It is very, very painful when I already deal with pain. This is like adding on to it.But when I tell you that my time—even though I’m not able to sit, even though I’m not able to stand as much, even though I’m not able to walk as much as I would want to—obviously, the time that I’m spending with God is just remarkable. And it’s never stopping.And this is clear—that this vision and this mission and this project in particular are all from Him—because it sustains itself. It’s not something that I have to come up with creativity to produce. It’s something that is very purpose-driven, and He’s only showing and revealing and solidifying and allowing me to wrestle with things that He’s compelling me to share.And that feels very sacred. That feels very special, even if it happens in bed, in pain.And so, I don’t know—I just wanted to kind of share something.I originally wanted to share a quick story with you guys about something that happened today, actually, kind of in this same space. I had a friend…One thing that God has been talking to me about a lot during this season—as I sit back, knowing that I am called to teach and share—but as I study communicators, as I study pastors, you know, everything from linguistics and cadence and delivery and all these things, right, that are like the technicalities of teaching and preaching, to the depth of knowledge, to the content, to the rich nature, to the moments when you can tell that someone is speaking in the flow of the Spirit—that it’s like, man, they are delivering exactly what God is putting on their heart in this moment.It’s palpable. You can see it. You can feel it.And obviously, I’m praying more for that than anything—because I’m not the most technically sound. I talk like I write. I write like I talk. There are so many things that I can get better at, and I am working at getting better at.But I don’t spend a ton of time beating myself up about all the ways that I’m not prepared anymore, because it has been so clear that all of this has been for a reason.And so, just one of the things that I have been able to take away from this season—about this flood of information that we get from the world all day, every day—Matter of fact, for the sake of maybe even splitting this recording into two separate recordings, I want to thank you for the way that you’ve supported me. And I promise so much more is coming. And I promise that I still need your support in everything that I do.I cannot do it without you. I have not done it without you—the people that have supported me and poured into me and my ministry and helped me keep the lights on in my house.It has been an only-God feat for the last six years—that I still have a home, that I am still able to put food on the table.And so I am just so thankful that people have allowed God to use them to bless me.If you want to do that, there’s a way to do it in here somewhere—I’ll put a link. But thank you so much for doing that.I’m going to start the next piece right now, and we’re going to go straight into one of the lessons that I have learned in this time.Hey thanks for making it this far!! Be sure to like share and support how you feel lead!! Love y’all!! Joel Buy Me a Coffee Support link - HERE This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I believe the evil one himself has draped a veil of confusion and deceit over the eyes of every American.Maybe you feel it too.Because somewhere along the way, we stopped assuming we were hearing the truth.From the press room to the pulpit.From headlines to hashtags.From platforms to podiums.We have learned to sift through noise instead of trust what we see and hear.And now we are left with a choice.Option one is simple.Tighten the veil.Pull it down a little further until it becomes a blindfold, a protection from pain, injustice, and responsibility. Convince ourselves that what we don’t see can’t cost us. That what we don’t acknowledge won’t demand anything from us.But that choice quietly abandons the very foundation we claim to stand on:Life.Liberty.And the pursuit of happiness.Option two is harder.It is to admit the veil exists in the first place.It is to wake up.To see past party lines.Past dog whistles.Past rage bait designed to turn us against one another instead of examining the powers shaping the policies.It is to find the tear in the veil… and pull.To choose higher truth over tribal loyalty.Humanity over hostility.Morality over manipulation.Pulling back the veil changes what we see.It allows us to see the world more accurately as God sees it, every man and woman who calls this nation home bearing His image.It removes the fear that someone else is getting something that belongs to me.It restores compassion.It rebuilds empathy.It reopens one of humanity’s oldest questions:“Am I my brother’s keeper?”______If you answered no in your mind… you may have tightened the veil a little more.And maybe that’s not cruelty.Maybe it’s overwhelm.Maybe your gut says one thing while your community says another.Maybe it’s terrifying to look back and wonder where the road bent.Maybe it’s exhausting to keep hearing why “they” can’t possibly be “us.”Because how could they be your brother if their sexuality unsettles you?If their femininity challenges you?If their skin color confronts you?Brotherhood and sisterhood cannot coexist with supremacy.Humanity cannot coexist with entitlement.And I say that clearly, to all of us._____Maybe you hesitated about the question. Thank you for being honest.Being each other’s keeper is not light work.It can feel confusing.It can feel overwhelming.It can feel costly.So let’s start lower.Compassion.I ask myself the question often: What would Jesus do?Remember the bracelets?What would Jesus do?I think He would start with compassion.Scripture says, “When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” — Matthew 14:14He was tired.He was spent.He had every reason to withdraw.But He saw them first.Before you try to solve anything… just see.Recognize the need before you rush to debate it.Lower your walls a little more each day.Imagine what life would feel like if you had been born as “them.”Your brother.Your sister.As you do, you’ll feel the distance shrinking.And proximity changes things.Seen enough, you’ll find yourself close enough to offer a hug instead of a headline.Presence instead of posture.Compassion instead of commentary in the comment section.Be gentle with yourself.Unsubscribing from a channel you’ve been tuned into for years is not as easy as it sounds.But clarity rarely is.And neither is love.-----If you answered yes in your mind… take a breath.Because saying yes means you just accepted responsibility.It means you’ve decided that the suffering of another human being is not separate from you. It means you’ve refused the lie that compassion is weakness. It means you understand that brotherhood and sisterhood are not determined by agreement, politics, race, gender, or comfort, but by shared humanity under God.If you answered yes, you’re choosing the harder road.You’re choosing to see the person in front of you before you see their label. You’re choosing to listen before you argue. You’re choosing curiosity over caricature. You’re choosing conviction without cruelty.And that doesn’t mean you abandon truth. It means you pursue it with love.Being your brother’s keeper doesn’t mean you co-sign everything he does. It means you refuse to dehumanize him. It means when the crowd picks up stones, you hesitate. It means when outrage is trending, you slow down. It means when fear says “protect what’s mine,” you remember that none of this was ever yours to begin with.If you answered yes, then compassion becomes your discipline.And compassion is not soft. Compassion requires courage. It requires you to step toward pain instead of scrolling past it. It requires you to check your own heart before checking someone else’s timeline. It requires humility.Because the moment you say yes… you also admit that someone, somewhere, is keeping you too.And maybe that’s where this all begins.With the quiet understanding that we belong to each other.Not because it’s easy.Not because we agree.But because God loves and advocates for us all… the same.Love y’all,Joel This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

One Year Ago I gave Up Isolation For Lent One year ago today, I gave up isolation for Lent. I’m going to tell you about how that changed my life. In order to make sense of the concept of “giving up isolation”, I need to give you a quick summary of my previous season and to understand my previous season, you have to understand a bit about me. For the majority of my life, I thought I was an extrovert. I’ve realized that I’m more of an Ambivert… a mixture of extroversion AND introversion. Matter of fact, most other people thought I would be considered an extrovert, too. I have always had a big personality and could “turn it on” when I needed to. This has served me well in life because it’s given me confidence, when the time came, to use that extroversion as an ice breaker or to get everyone to laugh, and become more comfortable. I’ve been able to use it to rally people and to encourage people. It took me a while to realize that for as much UP time as I spent, I needed at least THAT much quiet time to recharge. Normally, I operated at such a high social capacity without recharging, that I would crash. Hard. I’ve always kinda compared myself to a lion and before I understood what I was going through, I said that I needed to retreat to my Lion’s Den to lick my wounds. I came to Chicago in 2000 and began working in the service industry full time. This fed my extroversion but didn’t provide much care for the introverted part of me. I consistently ran the cycle of operating at a high capacity without proper rest and restoration, which lead to a lot of crashes. The ironic part, though, was how successful I was able to be with such an unhealthy lifestyle. I always rose to the top of the job market I was in. When I started as a server, I was the corporate trainer. Then I was the designated trainer bartender. From there, I was the rookie GM that saved the business. Then I became the one who could save the sinking ship. Leading people and serving people translated to very successful operations. Very happy investors. And a very exhausted Joel. I had always felt a pull towards serving people. If I’m really honest, I’ve always felt a pull towards ministry. I knew this is where I was going to end up but I did NOT know how I would get here. In 2018, I began to make the transition out of the nightlife industry and into ministry. There were a lot of Only God failures during that time. No, God does not fail… He allowed the things I was working on to fail in an Only God way. I felt compelled to leave my nightclub career in 2017 but I resisted because the money was flowing. By 2018, this little company called Google had purchased the building that my nightclub was in and God forced my exit. I finally complied to my calling and began to work part time at my local church. There’s not a lateral skillset that translated from being top of the food chain in nightclubs to working at a church. So I took the only job available, the night host, as I sorted out my calling. I went from leading multimillion dollar businesses and teams, to stacking chairs and setting up rooms for gatherings and meetings. I didn’t think I landed in my forever job, but I knew I was in the right place. In 2019, the physical nature of the job caught up to me and I got hurt. I suffered 3 bulging discs in my back and a torn meniscus. The plan was to have the simple knee surgery and then begin to address the back injuries. Then Covid hit. The world shut down and it wasn’t until November of 2020 that I was able to have my first knee surgery and start the healing process. Let me not get too far ahead of myself though, my isolation season started when yours did. March of 2020. When the world shut down, we were ALL plunged into isolation. It was a severely traumatic event for us all. But if we’re really being honest with ourselves, many of us were already feeling isolated and lonely. Social media had dominated our lives for the first time in the five years prior to the pandemic and there was already a disconnect growing between our reality and what we were seeing on social media. We were already developing FOMO and we didn’t even know why. Why WAS I judging my own life based on the glimpse I had gotten into someone else’s? The pandemic just made the isolation solidify. Probably more accurate, the pandemic accelerated our isolation and justified it. The pandemic taught us that we could work from home and that we didn’t even need to SEE people in a week and we could still exist or even “thrive” in isolation. Social anxiety became a thing when isolation became prescribed. The world began to turn back on by the end of 2021 but I was not ok. By the end of 2021, I had already had 3 surgeries, going on four, I had over a half dozen procedures and I had been diagnosed with a pain disorder called CRPS. I have experienced severe pain since November 3rd, 2020. As the world came out of its shell, I went deeper into mine. In year one, I was still affectionately referring to it as my lion’s den. I felt like I had been pulled away by God to lick my wounds and heal. But then I didn’t heal. Years 2, 3, and 4, I spent in deep isolation and depression. I could not be the person that lit up a room or that served people well in my extroversion, so I kept myself tucked away in the safety of my home. Did God meet me there and use me in this isolated place? Yeah. Of course He did. That’s how good He is. I didn’t realize it but I looked back over the last 4 years and I had been a recipient of my own ministry. I had walked closely and personally with dozens of people behind the scenes. It went from teams of people at a time, to two people at a time. And I will always consider myself a recipient of my ministry because I have been sustained by what God’s done in this valley.September 8th, 2024, after years of watching my church gatherings online, I woke up and I heard God tell me to walk to church. That’s a one mile walk, in pain, on a cane. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was God being gracious enough to show me why I needed to resist the jail of isolation that I had succumbed to. Ok fine God. I’ll start coming back to church. But I am NOT serving... two weeks later I was in training to be a host for an Alpha table. Ugh. God. Why are you doing this to me?! I was so beaten up and battered by my season, that I craved isolation. It meant safety to me. I didn’t have to limp around and let people see my pain when I was isolated. I didn’t have to ask for rides to church because I couldn’t afford to get there otherwise. My season didn’t come up in conversation. I didn’t have to be vulnerable when I was in isolation. No one SAW me in my pain. I could just survive. Just survive. That’s all I needed to do. After my 7th surgery on October 21st 2024, and after losing everything and gaining weight and just feeling awful in my body…. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. Imagine waking up everyday and there’s a fire alarm going off. The loud insistent fire alarm that’s so relentless that it makes your mind feel numb. That’s what I compare my pain to. Could you tune out that alarm and focus on connection and conversation if you had to? Might take some time… might take some new coping strategies… and that’s what I had begun to develop in the valley. I believe that the next major chain to break was my desire for isolation. Today, last year, 2025, I prayed and prayed and prayed and begged God for direction. I don’t think I had ever really even taken Lent super seriously. I’m not a big tradition guy when it comes to faith stuff. Meaning … I think I value connection and relationship more than agendas or traditional things. I’ve never really subscribed to the mentality that I have to DO xyz to receive xyz from God. But, as I have spent a healthy amount of time framing my isolation, I can see how God was bringing me to the point of decision that I would arrive at last Ash Wednesday. What Social Media had begun and the pandemic exacerbated and then my own personal trauma season had cultivated was disconnection. Disconnection became embraced and even reveled in and it grew into loneliness. Then I wore loneliness as a heavy garment that had buried me in isolation. Even though I was stronger in my faith, I was more susceptible to attack. Isolation makes us an easy target for the Evil one and no matter how strong you think you’ve become, God’s plan for you is NOT to do life alone. If you find yourself defending your isolation, use those exact talking points as indicating markers of where to ask God for healing. There is no arguement that you could conjure up that can justify isolation because God did not make you as the sole inhabitor of the world. That is a rough one for someone to hear out there... but I mean it in love. If you find your self in a season craving isolation because of past broken relationships, ask God to heal your pain around vulnerability or trust issues. Begin to shore up your trust in God and seek understanding about who to trust according to the Bible. The answers are in the text book and it’s an open book test. I want to stay on track for this piece, but if you are having a hard time figuring out what to pray for… tell God that. And if you want help here, I’d be more than willing to hold space and pray for whatever comes up. Just shoot me a message and we can setup a call. On Ash Wednesday 2025, I gave up isolation for Lent and this is how it went:After some prayer and seeking God around the subject, I realized that I had developed this skill of hiding in plain sight. In other words, I was able to throw people off the scent of my pain with smoke screens. I knew that if I posted JUST enough… people wouldn’t be any the wiser that I was struggling. My posts were all still genuine and authentic, I’d just make sure they went out with enough frequency that no one would say “hey. You’ve been quiet. You ok?” I also present really well… in other words, I’m a pretty happy guy, normally, so I don’t LOOK like I’m in pain or struggling or stressed about finances. As I identified these things, I knew that I had to do something different to allow change. I took the pressure to post off of my shoulders. My silence is holy. Even if it is my suffering. I have continued to write but I only publish when God is like… yes. Go. That. When I tried to adhere to a schedule, I forced myself to produce when I may not be ok enough to produce. Maybe I need to lay down and let the pain flare dissipate. You are physically disabled right now, Joel, it is not your fault and you are allowed to rest. God will provide. He knows what you need. I also committed to myself and to others to answer HONESTLY. If I dragged my ass to Alpha that day and I had been getting my butt kicked spiritually, I answered honestly when someone asks how I was. I never went full Eeyore on em “oh poor me… everything beat me today” lol. But I would say… “You know…I physically feel like s**t but my spirit is so happy to be here with you guys today. It gives me energy to keep goin.” You know what happens when you are honest? You cultivate honesty. You provide safe space for vulnerability. And you know what that does? It facilitates genuine connection. Oh and guess what… you wanna know what obliterates isolation? Connection. By definition you cannot be isolated if you are connected. You can’t be “by yourself” when you are WITH people. So this all led me to the third thing that I started doing in my “giving up” of isolation. I made a list of people that I missed or that I loved or that I wanted to reconnect with. On that list were dozens and dozens of people but I started with my family and close friends first. I made a decision to intentionally connect with at least ONE person every single day of Lent. It was a little more than 40 days and every single day, I reached out to someone. Some of them I confessed to… “hey, I realized that I was in a rough spot and I haven’t been in touch the way I’ve wanted to be. I just wanted to say hi. You got a few mins to talk?” Some people I just pinged to say hi. Some people were repeated over the 40 days. Some people I even went as far as to say, “hey, you got an hour for me this week? Just you and me, let’s get on a call and catch up.” With some people I explained what I was doing, some had no idea, but what mattered… was that I decided to fight isolation with the most powerful weapon that there is. Intentional connection. Yeah, I think connection is the structure of this weapon against isolation but the swing of the weapon is intentionality. The force behind connection is intention. No one is going to force you out of isolation. No one even cares, if I’m being honest. The world is going a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction for us all. People are just trying to keep from losing their minds and it’s taking all the effort they got. YOU. You have to decide to swing the weapon of connection. You have to put in the work to allow it to set you free. Is there a risk? Yeah. Of course there’s a risk. Anything worth anything has a risk assigned to it. But when you show up, allow yourself to be seen, and intentionally connect, it’s not just a gift that you get to receive. It’s something that everyone around you gets to benefit from as well. You might be giving someone else the permission that they need to make it through another day. I don’t say this lightly either… this has been my testimony. Since I gave up isolation for lent, I’ve been able to actually hear people’s stories of how my vulnerability set the tone for their connection. I’ve seen friendships start in safe space. I’ve had more intentional conversations with people around suffering and struggling with faith than I ever could have imagined. I’ve been able to step into what I call SHAREapy with a dozen people in the past year. Intentional connection SHAREing blessings and bruises. It’s been such a blessing. Do I feel myself slipping back into isolation and depression? Yeah. Sometimes I do. I’m still in a really hard season and my struggle is still very real and very hard to share and very hard to navigate. And there is still the very very important duty of having intentional solitude with God on how I should share and/or what I should share, and when. But hear that word as the healthy side of being alone. Solitude. But not self solitude… that’s the slippery slope that leads back to isolation. Solitude with God is spending intentional time in prayer, fasting and my Bible and that gives me strength. It fortifies my spirit to be able to handle anything that is hurled at me. I say this all the time, but if my spirit is good, I’m good. It helps as I navigate the way I physically feel, the way I emotionally feel, the way I mentally feel, even the way I financially feel. I am the richest person you ever met without any money (yeah. I stopped talkin s**t about myself too. I’m not broke. I just don’t have money right now and more than I’ve ever felt it, I know that provision beyond any of my wildest dreams is on the way.) I know that I need to be better at summarizing my pieces so I’m going to bullet point some of these action items that I took as I gave up Isolation for Lent. As I review, there seem to be 4/5 key take aways. Also, I want to link my first piece HERE on what I gave up for Lent last year. I called it solitude, at the time, but I think God had more clearly definite solitude as potentially holy and isolation as almost always harmful. That has been a distinction that I’ve grown to understand well in the last year. 5 Ways to give up Isolation for Lent:* Choose connection on purpose. No one will force you out — you have to grab ahold of the lifeline that God is giving you. Accept the gift of connection that is yours to claim.* Answer honestly when people ask you how you are. Vulnerability creates safe space for others. Just don’t be an Eeyore. :)* Release the need to perform strength. Rest is allowed. Silence can be holy. You are not valuable to God because of what you DO. You are simply valuable to Him just by being YOU. * Make a reconnection list and act on it. One intentional touchpoint a day can change everything. Pray about this and you’ll be amazed at what this will do for you and others. * Stay rooted in solitude with God — not isolation from people. Spiritual strength fuels relational courage. What does the Bible say about ____? Look it up. It’s in there. Ask God what it all means. He will answer. If this resonated with you, I want to invite you into this with me.This isn’t content for content’s sake. This is me fighting isolation in real time. This is me practicing what I’m preaching. This is me choosing connection instead of hiding. And if it helped you feel a little less alone, then it’s already doing what it was meant to do.If you believe in this kind of work — intentional connection, SHAREing blessings and bruises, building safe spaces for honesty — would you help me widen the circle?Like it. Share it. Follow along. Send it to someone who might need it. Support. Not because I’m chasing numbers… but because connection grows when it moves.And if you’re in your own lion’s den right now, you don’t have to stay there. Reach out. I’m here. We can walk out together.Love, Joelbuymeacoffee.com/joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I wanna tell you guys a story today. The story of the love of my life. To accurately tell the story, I have to give you a bit of a recap as to how we got here in the first place. On June 11, 2007, Hannah Marie Barnes was born. Her mother and I had a 2 1/2 year relationship but had decided to coparent this new life. I had no idea how difficult yet exactly right, that decision was going to be. I never imagined having a child out of wedlock, to begin with. I never imagined having to split time and have half of her days and nights not be under my roof. Over the next 18 years, it felt like God was forcing my hand at faith… Because I knew more than anything that I had to trust her with him on the days and nights that I wasn’t around. Of course, I trusted her mother with her safety, etc, but to not be a part of her life, in any capacity, hurt enough to surrender that over to God.Of course, like any parents, coparent, joint partnerships, families… There have been a lot of ups and downs over the last 18 years. You never really know if you are making the right decision for your kids and their upbringing… But I would say that there have been more affirmations as to the route that was chosen for her to have two happy homes instead of one potentially tumultuous one.We haven’t shared too much about the latest chapter that we’ve been in, but I asked for permission from my daughter Hannah to Share our most recent season. First of all, I wanna say to you, Hannah, as you read this or listen to this, that I am so so so proud of you. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, baby girl. I wanted to reflect a bit today about you, about your journey, and about the woman that I am watching you become in front of my eyes. You are so worthy of celebration. You are so worthy of love and admiration. Never forget, my love, that as much as I love you, your Father in heaven loves you so much more. You are so loved. You are so worthy. No matter where life takes you, always try to get back to the place where you remember that.As we wrapped up high school, of course, the natural progression is to look into schools and to figure out what the college plan would be. We never pressured Hannah to do anything, but we resolved to support her in any direction that she wanted to go. The college admission process was fun and exciting… So many acceptance letters, so many financial rewards and invitations. It was great! As we decided to move forward into further exploration of Loyola university as Hannah’s next step, I started to notice that the passion for the process was beginning to wear thin. I felt more anxiety than peace .. or joy .. or excitement.Parents this is where I want to talk to you real quick… As you spend time with your kids, and get to know your kids, and get to see your kids passionate about certain things and more distant from others… don’t be afraid to gently remind them of what you see going on. I think there is a way to navigate this life partnership that you have with your kids without being demeaning or dismissive or condescending. Now, this was not the way that we were brought up, either. Our generation got a lot of tough love and the forceful push to do something that our parents hadn’t even experienced. We HAD to go to college. Even though many, if not most of our parents did not. Those that went to college, had a better life… And at all costs, our parents deeply desired for us to have a life better than theirs. But parents, times have changed. The options are not the same as they were when we were growing up. Understanding evolving technology and a New World order is going to be so important for us supporting our kids well. Also, I want to gently remind every parent out there with a kid that experienced the pandemic… Our kids have a significant chunk of their social development, their resourcefulness, their decision-making processes, that have been significantly affected by the trauma induced during that season. I would also like to gently remind you that growing up in a social media driven world vastly changes our kids outlook on the world. I think it was through consideration of all of these facts and more… In partnership with prayer and conversation with God that it was clear that we had to make a different decision than rushing into school right away.For the last five years, my mom has flown Hannah to Florida for a week or two with Grandma. It has been pure joy. For my mom, for Hannah, for my family that has gotten to see Hannah. It is one of the happiest things that happens in our family all year. When Hannah got back from her trip, we were supposed to be making some pretty significant moves to pull the trigger on college, but I think I quickly realized that we might be on the wrong path. After a hard conversation, an emotional conversation, one with tears and hugs and vulnerability… we decided to call Loyola that day and cancel her registration for college.As I had been praying while Hannah was gone about this next chapter, I felt like God gave me a plan for how to handle it. I didn’t know at the time, that what He was trying to show me was that a pause of the plan was necessary… I believed that this was going to happen as she started her first year of college. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized this plan was better suited to a gap year. But this was not just any gap year plan. This has become our Health Year plan. I’d love to go so much more in-depth about this plan but for the sake of this piece, I’m gonna keep it relatively simple. In order to pull off this healthier plan, we both made a commitment to it being non-negotiable. It’s not a year off from school, it’s not a vacation, it’s not a live off of mom and dad for a year experience. We committed to an outlined plan that had five major pillars of health work:Physical HealthMental Health Emotional HealthSpiritual HealthFinancial Health In each of the five categories, we set realistic goals. Some of the goals were set to be achieved in the full year time span, and some of the goals were set more short term. After we set goals for each category, we went back through and set to do list for how to start, continue, and achieve her goals. I think a big part of beginning this process as a parent, was the understanding that this has to be her project AND also having to understand that she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. There have been so many “firsts” in the first six or seven months of this process. It has been a consistent swing between ‘hands off’ to ‘hands on’ for me as a parent. A lot of mistakes have had to be made.… And what’s kept us largely on track with this whole thing, has been good and healthy and vulnerable communication. We do an intentional check-in lunch or dinner once a month or so. We go through each goal in relation to progress. There have been things that she’s already knocking it out out of the park on… we had to reevaluate what healthy progress even meant. I was telling a friend of mine who was a therapist about this whole health year idea and she thinks that there’s a lot of value here for parents that are in this gap year/health year space. I am doing some work to better organize our approach to the plan and give some loose suggestions on what it might look like for others, but for this piece, I wanted to just highlight the work that my young woman daughter has been doing. Hannah, I said it earlier, but I am so proud of you and the woman that you are becoming. We’ve been through a lot kid… I know that me being hurt has been a lot on you. I’ve watched you grow in empathy in the face of my adversity. Yeah, it hasn’t always been easy, and like any parent/kid relationship, we’ve had our moments of butting heads or disagreeing, but through every hard conversation we’ve had, we’ve gotten better and better and better. Not just at seeing each other for where we are, but also for understanding how to be better in relationship with each other. You know I talk to uncle Kyle a lot lately and I was telling him the other day that I hope he has a conversation with his daughter where they both cry and hug it out. I feel like our most important conversations and deepest shifts have come from moments like that. Thank you for being a safe space for me. I don’t take it lightly because I haven’t asked for it from you on purpose. I’ve always wanted to be your safe space… I’ve never wanted you to carry more than you had to. I just wanted you to be a kid. But as you have stepped into adulthood and as you do your work… It’s clear that your shoulders are getting so much broader. It’s clear that your heart is growing in size. It’s clear that your mind is getting clearer by the day. I’ve been watching your confidence build in this latest health year season and it’s been so so good to see. Keep working your plan. Keep reflecting on the trajectory of your path with relationship to your goals. Keep giving yourself grace for stepping off the path and even veering off at times. When we did our last check-in, you were a bit upset about the progress on a couple of your goals. I thought about that conversation a lot since we had it. I’ll reiterate something about that conversation to you today… For Valentine’s Day. Out of your five categories of health, mental, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual… I think you are killing it at the most important of the five. Your spiritual pursuit of a relationship with God is the most important thing you could do on any goal sheet. It’s funny, because I was the most self-conscious about this exact goal for you. I did not want to overly influence your decision to pursue a relationship with Jesus in any extra way. I know that living with me as a whack-a-do pastor type is already a lot… You hear me on the phone, you see what I’m working on, you get the random convos at your bedroom door about the crazy thing God just showed me… And I know that that is a lot. I know it is. I don’t take it for granted that you are always so encouraging even if you have no idea what the heck I’m talking about… Lol. But I think more than anything, I just have wanted for your relationship to be YOUR relationship with your Father in heaven. So I think I pushed for the spiritual goal the least… However… You have embraced it the most. A couple of the things on your spiritual to-do list were to go to church every Sunday and to memorize the words to at least three worship songs. Not only have you barely missed a Sunday in the last seven months, I think you probably know the words to 10 songs. Matter of fact, as I write this, tears are welling up in my eyes because I can remember faintly hearing you sing in month one. And a little louder by month three. But there is just something that is so so beautiful about standing next to you and hearing you praise God from depths of your soul and your diaphragm being used to push the air of your lungs in to a worship song. The power that you sing with now is the evidence of the Spirit of God growing in you. You are killing it, kid. You are bringing it to God more and more every week. And here’s what I’ll tell you about that as a guy who’s been through a couple of things in the last few years. As long as you are spiritually connected to Him, and spiritually pursuing Him… all the other stuff falls in line. Alright we might be a little off on physical goals, God help us get back on track. We might be short on our financial goals, God show us what You want us to see and where You want us to be. We might not be OK mentally, God point us to the therapist to help, the small group to support, renew our minds God. Emotionally we might be all over the place… God you gave me emotions as a gift of humanity, where am I unhealthy? Where should I work to improve this part of the gift you’ve given me?I’ve seen a lot of people have their s**t together physically or financially or whatever… But they aren’t glowing the way you’re glowing kid. You walk around and radiate love and empathy. You already are so emotionally intelligent that you can preserve your energy in a room that you feel is draining it. We’ve talked about how you’ve consoled friends and reminded them of their value. I’ve overheard you comparing notes about what you learned at church today and asking your friends what they learned at their church. Matter of fact, tomorrow, you’re bringing one of your friends to church with you. You’re right on track kid. You are not behind. You are healthier than you were seven months ago. You locked in. You did that. I am so proud of you. You are a diamond in a rough world. Be encouraged and be patient… God has set aside a man for you. Until you meet him, do not settle. I know that this advice is not easy or fun… But trust me, He’s got you. Keep doing the work and letting God lead the way. I love you so much! Happy Valentine’s Day!Love, Dad This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

On November 26th, 2025, At 3:15am I thought I started having a heart attack. I was completely knocked out asleep and I felt something happen in my chest that I can only compare to the feeling of a butterfly the size of a frisbee fully contracting its wings once violently and then maintaining an unbelievable pace from that moment forward. I was dazed and confused and terrified.Hannah’s here. Don’t wake her up, you’ll only scare her. But what if you pass out, you need her to call 911. Lord… help me. Please. Don’t let me die on the floor and my baby girl come out and find me in the morning. Please God.I have to go to the hospital. Right?! Yeah. For sure. Your heart is racing so fast. Why is it racing so fast??? I was asleep?? It’s freezing outside and it snowed. No you can’t just wear crocks. But don’t push your foot in the shower too hard… your heart is gonna explode, Joel. God. Please don’t let my heart explode it feels like it’s totally going to explode any minute. Don’t wake Hannah up. Uber! Yeah. Call the uber. Now.Thank You God. For being with me right now. I’m scared. I need You.I get in the Uber: I need to get to the ER now. I think I’m having a heart attack.Uber driver: “You know… a few months ago I thought the same thing was happenin’ to me. I felt like my heart was racing and they took me to the hospital.”Me: did they follow the traffic laws?? Cuz I feel like you should probably run these red lights. There’s just us on the roads right now bro. Please. With all due respect… run them. Please sir. Thank you so much.I arrive at Rush Emergency Room sweating, panicking, grasping at my heart…. “Something’s wrong. My heart is going a hundred miles an hour!!”Front desk nurse who was busy playing a game on her phone, “Sir please have a seat in the lobby after signing in.”God, please God. No one is listening to me. I need you to help me, Lord. I love you so much I know you’re here with me.(5 mins later)“Barnes…. Come on back”. She walks me back to the triage area and she takes my pulse. She gets on a radio immediately. Someone comes from the back and says “ok Mr. Barnes you are coming with me. Let’s get you in this wheelchair so we can get you back there faster. You’re gonna meet a lot of people right now Mr. Barnes. You are in good hands, ok?”We turn the corner and 10 people are waiting for me in of the emergency bays. “shirt off Mr. Barnes”. Instantly they put a defibrillator patch on my back and chest. One person is starting an IV in my right arm. Someone else is putting an IV In my left arm. Someone is taking my shoes off, someone else is connecting the EKG machine.The crash cart is there. The one they use in the TV shows when the person dies and they have to bring em back to life…. That. Someone’s taking blood pressure. Someone’s taking temp. The doctor comes in and begins to ask me questions.I rattle off every prescription med that I’m on with precise dosages an regularity. I can tell her exactly how much water I’ve had today, when I ate last, every single morsel of information that could affect anything. Then I give her a complete historical account of the last 5 years … I list all 7 surgeries and their dates, half the procedures I’ve had, the chronic regional pain syndrome diagnosis and how badly the chronic pain affects my stress levels, daily. I’m using every medical terminology that I’ve ever learned.All while people intensely watch the heart monitor.I look over … “Does that say 221 beats per minute?!!” It did….The doctor says yes. And we need to get that under control. She outlines the plan. Medication #1 … this should work. Medication #1 has no effect. Twice.Cardio doctor finally arrives. Let’s give him a third dose of Med #1. ER doctor contests that decision. “That would exceed the daily recommends limit for that drug.” Cardio Doctor: “Ok people were moving to Med #2!!”The ER doctor explained that this drug is going to basically make me feel like I’m gonna die. “But you won’t. It’ll pass. And we’re right here Mr. Barnes.”They give it to me… it’s pretty awful. But I remember thinking… I’ve felt worse. lol. This i’snt THAT bad.They have to give me Med #2 two more times… no effect. Except for the awful feeling getting a little worse each time.Time for Medication #3. And if this one doesn’t work Mr. Barnes, we’re gonna have to attempt to shock your heart back into the correct rhythm. I had been praying out loud this whole time. The progression from arrival to med #3 probably spanned a time period of an hour and a half. Maybe even more. But my heart was not being affected by anything happening.So I prayed louder. And call in His name more and more frequently. I even lean up at one point and say, “Hey everyone in here. Y’all are doin a great job. Thank you so much for helping me. Also… I’m not gonna die here today… ok? God says He isn’t done with me yet. So you guys can relax a little.”They all laugh. The room gets a little lighter. I get back to praying. They get back to getting ready to push drug #3. They push the drug… and nothing. Wait… maybe something. Did y’all just see his heartbeat dip to 210 for a second?I pray louder. “c’mon Jesus. I need you to slow my heartbeat down.” I put my hand over my heart “Right now. In the Name of Jesus. Slow… down”They push the second dose of med 3. Heart rate drops to 185. I keep praying.“Ok Mr. Barnes, if this last dose doesn’t get it down to a normal rate we are going to sedate you and we’ll use this defib machine to shock your heart back down to normal rhythm.”They push dose 3 of med #3… the butterfly returns and with one strong flutter, you can watch my heart rate drop down from 185 to about 90 beats per minute. The tension in the room melts instantly. A couple people clap. A couple laugh. Everyone in the room had on a smile, at the very least.“told y’all I wasn’t gonna die”. lol.The peace I had through this situation was uncanny. It’s the peace that Paul was describing in Philippians 4:7 when he says “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” He’s basically saying that it won’t even make SENSE how peaceful you feel. And that was the peace that I had even back at home while thinking through each next step. Shoes. Uber. Don’t wake Hannah. It could have been freakin’ chaos and calling an ambulance and terrifying my kid but it wasn’t.And why? Because of the instruction that is in the scripture RIGHT before the peace that surpassed understanding. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”‭‭So what he’s saying is that if, instead of worrying, you talk to God, (prayer and petition) with a grateful heart, present your requests to God. Then when you know that you have done that, a peace that doesn’t even make sense will fall on your heart and your mind.First of all, I love this scripture, and there is SO much to unpack that I know I could fill an entire blog post and I want to save that to another time. What I will say about this experience and this scripture is that this was one of the first scriptures that I meditated on about 15 years ago as I was discovering that I had anxious and depressive tendencies. So I have meditated in this scripture and unpacked this scripture and buried this scripture deeply in my heart over a decade and a half. I didn’t just almost have a heart attack and experience supernatural peace without practice. Significant bouts of doubts and peace and practice and trouble and supernatural encounters and affirmation and…. Practice. And more practice. And even then still, just because I didn’t freak out this time, it doesn’t mean I won’t next time. I’m just sayin.This peace was a gift from God. And that peace was a gift and a blessing to not just myself… you could palpably FEEL the gift of peace permitting the room of medical professionals all huddled up around me to keep me from dying. That supernatural peace blessed THEM too!But just as I had gotten home the next day, and the adrenaline had worn off and the severity of the possible circumstances of the night before set in… I realized that some of what had happened the night before was also an attribute of surviving significant trauma and different points in my life. I’ve spent a decent amount of time working on myself and at this stage of my life, I’ve realized that I have some ‘delays’ setup in my psyche that help to protect me in the moments of immediate danger. Then eventually catch up to me in the coming days. Once, in therapy, I described this like an oil tanker, driving full speed uphill. All of the liquid is at the back of the tanker. This is how I respond to immediate trauma, the worry and incapacitation, represented by the oil in the back of the tanker, is compartmentalized. When the tanker slows down and or comes to a sudden halt, all of that liquid comes sloshing forward. That’s the feeling I get when the emotions of a traumatic situation catch up to me. The more work I do, the less violent that transition from trauma to normalcy becomes.I still kept waiting for the emotion of that night to “catch up” to me, but it wasn’t happening. Not only that, but I also couldn’t sleep… This had happened in the middle of the night, my mind, and my body was terrified that it would happen again.I want you to pay attention right now to the way the evil one is chipping away at that piece that surpassed all understanding that I had just experienced only days before. Not only am I stuck in this pattern of almost waiting for the next shoe to drop, I’m having physical manifestations of anxiety due to this event. I kept asking God, “What’s going on? I haven’t even let out the emotions of that day, can you show me what you want me to learn from all of this?”I didn’t tell anyone what had happened for almost a week because I was just trying to spend time with a God and get him to help me understand what he wanted me to see or learn from this situation. I remember even pleading with God saying, “God you know that I don’t take any day on earth for granted? already… You know that if you tell me to text someone or call someone to reach out to someone or pray for someone that I respond as fast as I physically can… Already. What are you trying to show me with this mortality reminder?” I prayed about this for days… I have to also admit, that when you sincerely feel like you appreciate life and each day that comes, it almost felt hurtful that God was trying to teach me something about something I felt that I so genuinely already appreciated. And then, out of nowhere, I had a flashback to being on the ER table, surrounded by all the doctors, and I had this fleeting thought.I remember thinking that if this was my time to go, that I would embrace my father in heaven, and that at least I knew that I would finally get rest. If I were to go home to heaven that day, at least my suffering would finally be over. At least I wouldn’t hurt so bad every day anymore. At least I wouldn’t have to scrounge around to pay bills and struggle every day to keep a roof over our heads. I remember thinking that if I went to heaven, at least that peace would last forever….The tears instantly began to flow as I released the trauma of that day. I remembered the feeling of complete surrender to whatever it was that God wanted to do in that moment… even if it meant that I would breathe my last breath. There was no one that I hadn’t forgiven. I felt like I had done my best while I was here. I had begged for forgiveness for anyone that I knew I had wronged. If the suffering went away forever, I just prayed that my legacy was that “that guy loved and shared Jesus… even when he suffered.” God wasn’t trying to convict me with a lesson… I believe He was trying to allow me to feel complete peace. For the first time in my life.But as FAST as I arrived at that truth, the Devil swooped in with a lie.Oh your faith is “so strong” but you wanted to give up. Again. I thought you said you defeated ‘those thoughts’. And you would leave Hannah, huh? And your mom, friends, family… you were ok with that?? Oh and your ministry. All those isolated people that you wanted to bring into connection… guess you weren’t really chosen by God to lead those people towards connection, huh? What a waste of faith.I went from serenity to turmoil… that fast.What I want to make sure you understand is this. Sometimes the lies don’t sound so far fetched. The devil is clever and he’ll make it all sound similar to the truth that it’ll be hard to decipher what is what, at times. In this moment, I was so vulnerable that there was an opening… even in my time of prayer… to steal my thoughts and beat me upside the head with them. I could tell that this felt off… but now I’m stuck in a familiar shame spiral about letting my kid down and/or letting down the people I care about. I became hyper-fixated on trying to figure out which end was up, and what was actually true about all of these swirling thoughts.Back to prayer.God I KNOW these feelings of doubt aren’t from you but I cannot shake them. I didn’t mean to want to give up… I wasn’t trying to give up. I was just content. You gave me that gift. But I can’t access it right now.What ended up being crucial for me, in this 20 ish hours of doubt and shame, was for me to ultimately run this all by a trusted friend of mine. I took her through the particulars as I have done with you guys today…Through the curiosity I had about what God was trying to show me… then into the serene peace that I felt in such a hectic and chaotic and terrifying moment. But then how it had been almost intercepted by cruel thoughts of myself and the second guessing of my own faith. My friend held space for me… heard me out… and then held up a gentle and powerful mirror for me.“Joel with the amount of pain that you have felt in the last few years… not even God could blame you for wanting rest. No one who knows you doubts your love for your daughter, family or friends. No one could doubt your commitment to standing in the gap with people.”Here’s what I think God was trying to show me that I feel compelled to share. No matter where you are on your faith journey, it’s not too early or too late to understand that there IS an enemy out there that wants to steal your joy, peace and security. The Bible says: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬ ‭ESV‬‬Have you ever seen any nature show? Who does the lion go after? Not the prey that is tucked into community. No, he goes after the one separated and isolated from the pack. He’s not going after the prey that is healthy and strong, he’s hunting the vulnerable. There is an enemy. You have to understand that. God has won. God wins in the end. But as someone who pursues faith, you are marked as an enemy BY the enemy.Next thing to know is that as you strengthen your faith, the enemy understands that he must get more creative in his strategy to attack. I had a divine experience… and I had a divine revelation. If you really take a 30,000 foot view of my experience, what more could someone hope for if they were to be at the end of their story? I felt reminded and encouraged that it was NOT my end… but even THAT revelation brought peace and encouragement in some scary and potentially dark moments. Not to mention the tension in that ER room that you could have cut with a knife being evaporated with the calling on the Name of Jesus. And then… immediately after increasingly vocal prayer, and in what seemed like the last inning, my heart responded to my prayer. Yeah… maybe it was my third iteration of drugs forming a hodgepodge of a cocktail in my bloodstream. Maybe. But maybe 10 doctors and nurses heard the Name of Jesus called out by a man that should have been scared… and wasn’t. Maybe.The last thing I feel compelled to share about this experience is the importance of wise counsel. The Bible has this to say: “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭15‬ ‭NIV‬‬. Left to my own thoughts, who knows how long I would have let the shame spiral continue but I’m blessed enough to have cultivated a safe relationship with someone who has done life with God for a long time. I was able to share this event and my feelings around it in a way that allowed for the truth to be spoken into my story. That’s yet another blessing that this whole experience allowed me to experience.You guys like bullet points. So, I’ll end with a quick recap:* The devil be on some b******t… stay vigilant to that… no matter where you are in your faith journey* The fact that you are even entertaining a faith journey makes you a threat. Evil wants to win. God won’t let it.* Don’t be afraid to call on the Name of Jesus when you are scared… He listens and there is so much power in His name* Community and connection keep you safer than isolation and disconnection. Find your people. Learn how to become wise counsel for them and they will be wise counsel for you.I love y’all. Let me know how I can pray for you! You can DM me at @wehavetoshare or @joeldavidbarnes or email me at [email protected] 🤟🏽Also I signed up for this new thing … they are saying it’s a way to support people’s content. If it’s something you wanna do, it’s appreciated. ☕buymeacoffee.com/joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

In this SHAREapy reflection, Joel shares an unscripted moment inspired by a late-night conversation about listening—both to people and to God. He explores what it really means to hear from the Holy Spirit, explaining how God’s voice always aligns with Scripture and bears the fruit of love, peace, and self-control. Through practical examples, like catching negative self-talk and shifting thought patterns, Joel invites listeners to examine how God might already be speaking in ways they’ve overlooked. With relatable metaphors from gaming and daily life, he reminds us that the Creator is constantly leaving us clues—if we’re still enough to notice them.If you need prayer or want to contact me to start some SHAREapy, email me! [email protected] (https://www.wehavetoshare.com/) to support:Cashapp: $wehavetoshareZelle: [email protected]: @joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

(You can watch this message on Youtube HERE)We believe that if you teach people to share their blessings and their bruises, to connect with love and empathy, we can eradicate isolation in the world. We believe this not because we just woke up and thought of a good mission statement. I’ve been praying over this ministry since before it had anything. Before we had a logo. The only thing that God had given me at that point was actually, that’s it, the logo. That’s all I had. I had this vision that God showed me to share, and I took exactly what that vision looked like and I tattooed it on my arm. And I didn’t know exactly what it was going to be. Matter of fact, I thought at first it was going to be a restaurant. I thought, share the restaurant. And honestly, I think that that’s probably still going to happen at some point one day. But from there, it’s become very, very, very clear that he wants me to teach people how to share, and the only way to share, the only way to teach someone to share, is to go first. And so for years, I have been going first. For years, I have been sharing my story, The Good, the Bad, the uncomfortable for people to listen to, the hard things, for people to know, whether it’s hurts or breaks my mom’s heart to hear, I have had to share things that have been difficult, and I have been able to share things that are blessings. So my blessings and my bruises were the ways that I began to share first. Now, as God continues to lead me through my own very difficult situation, it has just become more and more clear that he’s given me a tool to teach people to share their blessings and their bruises, to connect with love and empathy through something that I’m calling SHAREapy and SHAREapy is intentional faith based connection to ultimately build community one relationship at a time. And I believe in this mission, and I cannot stop this mission. I don’t care what I lose, I don’t care what I’m going through, I have to keep going. I believe in this with the world the way it is today. Everything about the world is designed to separate us and to tear us apart and to tear us down and to disconnect us and to point out our differences. And that’s why I realized at some point that that’s why I got this vision to share years ago, because God knew that all of this was on the way that the season of isolation and solitude and disconnection was just on the way. And so I feel grateful for the season of suffering that I’ve gone through. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel grateful for it, I feel grateful for it because it’s opened my eyes to a different level of pain that I didn’t know existed, and now that’s a level that I can connect with people at. I didn’t understand what grief looked like until I walked with my best friend through losing her husband of 54 years. And so I’m just in awe of what God continues to do, even though my season is not over, it’s been very clear that he’s told me that it’s time, it’s time to focus, it’s time to share, it’s time to get the word out. It’s time to write and publish and post and do all the things. So that’s what I’m doing, that’s it. That’s all I’m doing, that’s all I’m focused on. And even though there’s days that I can’t get out of bed, those days I spend studying, even though there’s days that I can’t like, mentally block out the pain, it’s those days that I just spend in prayer for other people that are going through something. More than what I’m going through. And so I know that God has used every single ounce of my suffering in this season, every single stress that I felt, every bit of stress that I’ve felt, and I just cannot wait to continue to walk with people, to continue to do life with people, to continue to see and hear the stories, to give voice to people who have suffered in solitude and isolation for too long.I almost didn’t make it out of my season. And I can tell you that isolation is designed to destroy you. Isolation is designed to separate you from the love of God, to separate you from the love of other people, to make you feel like you’re the only one in the world that is feeling this way. And those things are just not true. The fact that people are scared to talk to each other, people are scared to connect with each other. It is all a design of the enemy to send us into these caves of disconnection, where our minds can do all the work for the insecurity and the fear and just continue to spin up those things. We need each other to hear how similar we all are, but yet the world continues to drive this narrative that we’re so different, and I just don’t believe that. I just know it to not be true. So I can’t stop. I can’t stop what I’m doing. I’ve already lost everything. I don’t have anything else to lose, except my home at this point. But I can’t stop. I can’t stop, no matter what. This is too important, and there’s just too many people that are suffering and alone and lonely, and think that they’re the only ones in the world that are feeling this way. And there’s too many people that just don’t know what to say, they don’t know how to help. They don’t know that God is here to conquer all of it. So I just feel like it’s just too important. I feel like this ministry is a matter of life and death, and so I just can’t stop, and I don’t want to stop, and I won’t stop. And I’m just more and more often going to rely on people that believe that God is too big and that he has written a blueprint for us in the Bible on how to connect and how to do life and how to eradicate isolation.Eradicate isolation is what he’s told me to do. I mean, it’s too big for me to do. So it can’t be my idea. It’s not like I hear that and I think, yeah, totally, this is exactly the way. I don’t think that. I think that only God can do that, and if he wants to use us to do that one connection at a time, then we’re here for it, and we’ll be here for it, and we’ll keep going. So what I need is prayers. I need your prayers. However it is that God puts on your heart to support, the only way to get there is through prayer. And it is so much more powerful than we even realize. The power of prayer. I need prayers for my pain. It has gotten worse, even though I feel more encouraged than I have ever felt in my life, my pain is worse than it’s ever been, probably, and I need provision, and those are the things that I need God’s help with. In the meantime, I will continue to wake up every day and pursue this vision in Jesus name. That’s it.Thank you for reading/listening! In this current season, I am unable to work due to my physical disabilities and acute chronic pain and my work comp disability income does not cover my basic life expenses. This IS the best I can do for work and walking with people is the most important work I have ever done. Anything you donate goes straight towards providing for myself and my daughter. God has been so good to us over the years and it’s people like you that He’s used to help keep us from losing our home or going without… thank you for your prayers and support. It means the world to us. (See below for ways to help)❤️,joelif you need prayer or want to contact me to start some SHAREapy, email me! [email protected] support:Cashapp: $wehavetoshareZelle: [email protected]: @joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

The Pressure to Report(You can watch this video on our YouTube page HERE)I feel like I’m supposed to come on here and talk to you all about the pressure that we’re feeling in the world to report everything. I feel like this has been coming up a lot in my personal life. And while I may not feel the same pressure to report my feelings and all the things that are going on in the world, I know that the way God always brings it together, it’s the same meaning.And in the way that I experienced it this week, I had a really rough doctor’s appointment yesterday where they talked about next steps. I had an MRI come back. And I’m so thankful that it came back with evidence and proof of the pain that I’m in. Because sometimes with pain, it’s so difficult to even know where to go after it, plan-of-attack-wise. So I’m so happy that it was a crappy MRI, but the MRI showed some stuff and we had to have a tough conversation about next steps. And, you know, it’s not none of it’s good for me. But instantly I began to process reporting it, talking about it—even at some point, feeling compelled to share an update with people who are praying for me through the season.There’s this pressure to report. I mean, from reporting to my mom, reporting to Hannah, my daughter, to reporting to my friends’ immediate circle, and then eventually my church group. And what I realized in the pressure to report, which is just fascinating, is the way that God works things out. I reported to my lawyer, and I reported to my nurse case manager, and I checked in, and I had an email drafted before I even left. Just like, here’s the picture, and here’s the thing, and here’s the game plan. And none of those people put the pressure on me to report except me.First of all, in the pressure to report, I go an entire 24 hours, and I report to everybody else about what’s going on except me. It took until this morning my daughter texted me—which was amazing—hey, Dad, how are you? And it was the first time I thought about how I was.I feel like this is so important right now in this moment in time because that is just a microcosm of what we just saw happen last week with everything going crazy and everybody having an opinion and everybody feeling the pressure to report exactly how they felt on it and exactly their theory on it and exactly what’s going on. But my question is how many of those people actually checked in with themselves first?I wonder how many people actually put themselves in the situations that they were reporting on first, and how many people thought about, if it was them that it was happening to first—no matter what mistakes they’ve made in the world, no matter what they said in the world, no matter how righteous, no matter how polarizing. Just the very basic, what if it happened to you? What if it was you? And I don’t even know that people are thinking about how they are first.And I don’t know that that is a very healthy thing. I mean, I can tell you even from this particular situation that I was more stressed out about other people’s reactions. I was more concerned about how other people would take it. I started even fabricating stories about the longevity of other people watching my story and how it would affect their belief in what I say I believe in, or whether or not they believe me and all these things that just are not true and don’t matter more than me checking in with me and me saying, there’s something that’s difficult that’s happening. There’s something very difficult that I need to fortify myself for first.And this is something that I’ve worked on for years and something that I’ve been working through for years where I have a tendency to think that I actually have the capacity to help someone else before helping myself. Would it make someone else feel okay before I even address myself? And that’s just not true, not to mention not healthy.So I’m thankful that it only took 24 hours for me to get back to actually thinking about how I’m doing. Until today, 24 hours later, I didn’t even think about some of the ways that this next news was going to affect my next six months to a year. I thought more about how the news was going to affect people around me.And I don’t really care what the motivation is. I don’t care if it feels like it’s something that you need to do for others to take care of others, to protect others from your truth, your reality, like in my case, or if it’s something that you’re doing because you feel the burden to share your opinion with the world. Nobody wants to hear it. No one should hear it until you have spent time with it first.There’s no way that people’s opinions should be going viral if they haven’t even processed it first, because until you understand how it affected you… Most people don’t even realize that they have been traumatized by the impact of last week, by the things that they saw, that they should not see. Do you understand how traumatizing it was?When I saw someone lose their life for the first time in my neighborhood, watched it happen—that affected me for years. And people accidentally saw it this past week. How are you doing first? That’s what’s important here. That’s of utmost importance here. Process it for you first. You know why? Because you deserve it. You deserve that space. You deserve the space to process the things.Now parents, you’re gonna know exactly what I’m talking about when I talk about this, because parents, we do it all the time. We always process for our kids first, and you know what? I love to say that that’s noble and righteous, but at the end of the day, you can only get so far with that logic, that mentality, that mindset, because your kids need you to be healthy to understand how they can react to it next. So it still has to go through you first. You and God need to do your work first.And so responding from a place that’s reactive is not just not healthy for you, it’s not healthy for other people too.So I didn’t really understand it today, and it was rough. I had a bit of a breakdown, if I’m being honest—not even about processing it for myself at this point, but just to be in a position that seeks direction regularly from God. And to realize that there’s still so much work to do and that I have a tendency to continue, even from my position of reporting, to leave myself out of the equation. I gotta do better so that I can do better. I gotta do a better job of checking in.You know, what I would encourage us all to do better is resist the urge to say something, anything ever. The Bible says that we should be slow to speak, quick to listen. So may that just be our encouragement today. Slow to speak, quick to listen. Whatever you have to do, slow down the world around you, so that you have a chance to hear what God’s got to say about it first, to hear what you think about it first.And I’m not saying go on social media and listen to what everyone else says first to formulate your opinion. I mean, really slow down and be like, God, man, this is something difficult. What do you want me to see here? What do you want me to hear here? This is what I feel, God. This is where my heart is broken.And yeah, I don’t, I don’t know all the details, and all the details start to make it more muddy and less human. We can even do it to ourselves. You heard me say that I was even starting to do it in, like, gosh, there’s so many people that are gonna be so tired of my story that God, I just wanna get to the next part. That’s the good part. That’s the non-pain part. That’s the non-suffering part. I just wanna get to that part, God, so I can say, look what you did, God, look what you did. What are you gonna do it, God? But in the meantime, I’m beating myself to death about something that I physically have no control over.And the same thing that makes me so happy, that is on an MRI. Matter of fact, I might even show this MRI in the video. It’s so clear that the knee is so bad that it should cause me outlandish amounts of pain every single day captured in way more than 4K, because it’s an MRI and that sees all the way through everything. It’s 40, 20, five k, I don’t even know, bro. It’s crazy. And I’m sitting here. I’m already down the road in the future. Like, I gotta tell people about this. People might actually—I might actually have to ask someone for help again. Oh my God, please God don’t let me have to do that. I don’t want to do that, but I’m writing this doom story about something that I have nothing, no control over.And the only thing that I should be doing is being like, God, what are you doing here? What do you want me to see here? And if it’s just for me… The pressure for me, the pressure to report to everybody else in the 24 hours past my own devastating news—imagine what the world looks like, and imagine what the world’s going through when all they do is feel the pressure to report.The ways to look good on Instagram, the ways to take the right angle so they don’t see the body fat, the ways to crop out the… or fill the lines. The pressure to preserve, report and present something that’s not even what you’re interested in or what the world cares about. We care so much about how we look on social media. We care so much about how we present ourselves to the world so that no one knows that we’re suffering, that no one can see that we’re scared. The pressure to report.What if you just give yourself a break? What if you just said, no, man, I need a minute, I need time with this. I don’t want to be used as part of anyone’s agenda. I just need to check in with myself. Those are maybe the words that I’m gonna give you to use. You know what? I just need to check in with myself about this.I had a friend do this in the conversation real time the other day, and then we followed up and we had a conversation this morning about it. And so I’m so proud of you, Hector, for doing that where you said, I just need a minute to think about that. You didn’t feel the pressure to report even in a moment, and I did not know what was going into your moment, but I’m so proud of you for the wisdom to say I need a minute.All y’all, if you need a minute, say you need a minute, and take a minute. It’s okay. It’s okay. The urgency of the situation should not be a reason to make you report faster or make you say anything at all. The urgency of the situation shouldn’t make you say I need a minute, can I have a minute? If I need a month, can I have a month?And leaders, leaders, leaders, leaders—yeah, I’m talking to you leaders, cause I am one. I am a servant leader. I do serve people in this world. There are people that may never respond to a video that I have an opportunity to communicate with, and who are listening to God sometimes for the first time through what I have to say.And so leaders, your responsibility is to check in with yourself and your God before you say a word. Period. If you are a faith-based leader, it should be God first, and then yourself. And it should be yourself reporting to God. Period. It should be a conversation, a wrestling, a moment of clarity. And if you don’t have that moment of clarity, you don’t get that word and keep your mouth shut.That might be the most important thing you do for the people around you, is model that resistance to report, model that I-need-a-minute moment.I’m so thankful that even in dismissing myself full circle, you can show me something to share with someone else. Cause I know I’m not the only one. God, matter of fact, I had not even connected it to anything that was going on inside of the world until you showed that to me.So I thank you so much, God, for taking real pain, my real breakdown today, and give me words to share with others that hopefully, God, they can say hold on world, hold on. I need a minute, I need a minute to check in with me and figure out how I am. Before I tell you how you should be, or before I report on how I am.Keep steering the ship God, keep showing me through my own brokenness how to hear you better, how to hear less of the world, how to get swept up less into the chaos of the world. God, there’s nothing for us in that chaos. God, I know that you are a God of calmness and stillness and peace. You are not a God of chaos.Chaos should be an automatic timeout. Trauma should be an automatic time out anytime God that we experience trauma, let us just say we need a minute. I need a minute. I need a month, I need a couple months. I need whatever it is that you deem possible and you need necessary.And let us hear that. And God, I know that you will give us a peace that surpasses all understanding, because you are a God of peace that surpasses all understanding. You are not a God of chaos, you are not a God of division, you are not a God of separation, you are not a God of politics and b******t. You are a God that is peaceful in the storm, that commands the waves in the sea. And we trust you, God. I trust you, God. Please keep leading this country, Lord, into peace and out of this chaos.Lord, let there be a conviction in the spirits of those who claim your name, those who claim to follow you that says this is chaos, this is division, this is not what God says that he is. So how can I find peace? How can I check in with me, how can I check in with my Dad who calms the waves?There’s not an example of you in the Bible, God, creating chaos. I just pray Lord for that to just become more and more, and more clear to your kids, including me, me first. God in Jesus’ name, amen. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of the SHAREapy Pod, the SHARErs discuss their three-month journey of intentional connection and personal growth. Ayo, a software engineer and combat sports enthusiast, shares his motivation for meeting every other week, emphasizing the importance of deep, spiritual conversations. The Joel and Ayo reflect on the benefits of vulnerability and mutual support, highlighting a recent instance where Ayo offered to bring food for the Joel’s daughter despite financial constraints. They also discuss the value of intentionality, grace, and effort in fostering meaningful relationships. The conversation concludes with insights on how their interactions have positively impacted their faith journeys and personal behaviors. The conversation revolves around the importance of relationships and community, drawing parallels to religious experiences. Joel emphasizes that true connection can transform the world, potentially eradicating isolation. They discuss the challenge of slowing down in a fast-paced society and the value of intentionality. Ayo agrees, noting the difficulty of prioritizing connection amidst daily pressures. They both envision a future where community is valued again, citing examples of small acts of kindness. The discussion concludes with a call to share and support each other, symbolizing a shared mission without financial gain.For the full transcript of our talk, you can click HEREThank you for listening! In this current season, I am unable to work due to my physical disabilities and acute chronic pain and my work comp disability income does not cover my basic life expenses. This IS the best I can do for work and walking with people is the most important work I have ever done. Anything you donate goes straight towards providing for myself and my daughter. God has been so good to us over the years and it’s people like you that He’s used to help keep us from losing our home or going without… thank you for your prayers and support. It means the world to us. (See below for ways to help)❤️, joelif you need prayer or want to contact me to start some SHAREapy, email me! [email protected] support:Cashapp: $wehavetoshareZelle: [email protected]: @joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Below is the written transcript of a message I did for the “Be Still” Gathering, in Chicago, September 2025. If you want to watch the full video, click here, or your can listen here in the Substack browser, or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts (search “SHAREapy. The Podcast). It was an honor to be invited write a message for this gathering and we are excited to continue to support Monica in her women’s ministry going forward! Full Blog Post on this event coming soon!Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Be Still Gathering, y'all. I am so excited to be here. I have been thinking about this so much. We have been praying for you so much. It has been weeks and days and prayers and details and so much and we're here and we're so happy that you're here. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I know I'm not there. It's someone else's house, but still, welcome to Monica's house.Okay, my name is Joel Barnes. I am a pastor. I'm a pastor. I'm not a preacher, probably. It's probably not my thing but that is not my daily job. But God has definitely called me a pastor and I have definitely stepped into this calling in a fresh new way in this last 5 year season. A little bit about myself, I have dealt with some pretty crazy things in the last five years in particular. It's been a heck of a season. Heck of a storm. (hint hint) But it has been a crazy crazy time. Not the easiest time in my life by, you know, that's saying it lightly. But in that time, I feel like God has expanded my capacity in a new way, in a different way. He's shown me through suffering how to walk with his kids well through suffering of their own. I am starting a ministry called share. where we teach people to share their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy. That is my mission is to help to build and facilitate community for people. God has shown me the vision of eradicating isolation and it is a big, crazy, God-has-to-do-it mission. But that's how I kind of came into this space with you. Monica and I have known each other for about 8 years. I go to Soul City Church. That's my home church. And we've known each other from there for years.And speaking of Monica, and speaking of all the details and the prayers and all the things that have gone into today, can we just bless her for the vision that she's had to get you guys all in a room and have a prayer and worship moment with you guys? There has been so much intentional time and love and honor and respect and prayer and you've been prayed for so many times…like so many times. If you feel a little bit weird right now, you should because without you being here, without us knowing you were going to be here, without the people watching in the future, we've been praying for you. Yes. Strangers that don't know you like have been praying for you in this moment in this time and that this message receives you well. So, can we just bless Monica with having the vision and her first Yes to host this event and to sponsor this video and this message for you here today.I want to talk to you guys about the theme of being still. When we were kind of going back and forth, I felt very clearly that God was like, "Talk to Monica about what the theme is for the gathering." And when she told me ‘Be Still’ was the gathering, it fit in line with so many things that I've already kind of had brewing for you guys. So she asked me to start to think through a message for you probably about 2 months ago and it has been like drinking from a fire hose. God has been giving me so many things for you for this time. It was overwhelming. And at one point I was like, "God, I can't say all that. I've got like 20-25 minutes max to talk." And you know that I'm a talker. I'm going to go off script. And so I need help, God, with kind of tightening this whole thing. And he was very clearly saying to me that, “I've given you all these things and I've shown you all these things for this group, for these people, for anyone that could watch this message because I have so much for you.” So, out of all the things that I've heard, the theme, the thread through everything has been He has so much for you. And I'm excited to just bring you the first of maybe many messages that He has for you. But I think it's really important and it's really awesome to think about a God that thinks about and plans and sculpts and scripts messages for us, intentionally for us, and intentionally for our season. But it was overwhelming. Okay, I'll be honest with you. I've been in a very overwhelming season. I deal with chronic pain daily. My finances are a mess. It has just been like a really crazy, overwhelming season. But something that God told me a long time ago is that He never really wants me to talk on topics, never really wants me to teach on topics that I have not personally had Him do something really powerful and that I don't have experience with.And so in my season one of the things that I've studied quite a few times is the story of Job. And in my studies with Job, one of my favorite parts of the scripture, parts of the story is towards the end when Job is… so the story of Job quickly is that he had been chosen by God to endure. He was a good and faithful servant chosen by God to endure immense loss in his life. And he did. And he lost everything. And everyone from his wife to his friends to everyone kind of said, "This has got to be something you did. You should just give up. You should curse God." But he refused to curse God. Even though he was suffering, he toiled with God in a way that says, "I don't understand it. I don't get it, but I don't blame you. I blame me, if anything." And he was blameless in God's sight according to scripture. So, I say all that to say when we are in these storms, it's really important not to blame God. It's important to understand that God is in that storm. That comes to fruition in Job 38 where God actually speaks to Job from a physical storm. I think it was a really amazing representation of the fact that God is actually in the storms. If we think about our turmoil, our trouble, our overwhelmingness from that perspective, from the perspective of in all this chaos, God is there, God is in the storm with us, then I think things start to shift for us. At least for me it does because I know a lot of times when I'm in the chaos and I'm in the scary bits that I feel very alone, and I feel very much like maybe God's not with me and that's just not further from the truth. But that's not even the scripture we got going for today.Today, we're going to take a look at Mark 4:35-41 so if you have your Bible here, good for you bonus points! Pull it out. We're going to go through scripture. If not, pull your phone out. I'd love for you to go through this scripture with me and read these words for yourself. I'm reading from the ESV version in Mark, so the words may not match up. You may have an NIV or a different version of the Bible. The message is always going to be the same, even if the words don't exactly line up the same way. But in Mark chapter 4 verse 35,On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat just as he was. And the other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose and the waves were breaking into the boat so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern asleep on a cushion. And they awoke him and said, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace be still." And the wind ceased, and there was great calm. And he said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and they said to one another, "Who then is this that even the wind and the sea obey him?" MARK 4:35-41Okay, so listen… already a great story. In this story, we have the power of Jesus: clear. The power of God on earth: clear. The power to speak to the wind and the storm and the calm and the chaos. And out of the chaos comes calm. There's so much here already and it's so incredible. And you can read the story that way and be satiated. But I think that there are some things that we can actually pull out of that story that give us a little bit more instruction, more tips and tricks, if you will, for how to actually have that calm in chaos. And so if we kind of break down this scripture, it breaks down into a few different ways. The first thing that you'll notice, the first thing that I noticed when I was kind of rereading it, going back through it, and saying, "God, what do you want us to see? What do you want us to study?" It makes it very clear that Jesus is in the boat. And because God's in the boat, he's along for the ride with us. And because he's along for the ride with us, he's in it when the storm comes. That's very very clear. And I think that that's a good thing to remember, right? But when they're in the storm, when they're in it, there's a very specific thing that has to happen because Jesus in this story… I think it's so funny when I read the Bible and I'm like, man, this could be anything. This could read any way. I want to pay attention specifically to what is going on right here. Specifically, Jesus was asleep when it happened. So, he is at peace in the storm. Let's pay attention to that. He's not worried about the storm. He's not intimidated by the storm. He's not afraid. There's 12 other men that are all those things. Now, if you need a little bit of encouragement today, these 12 men had seen him do miracle after miracle after miracle in front of their face and in their eyes, and they still were terrified. They had the savior of the world in their boat. They had a man that was healing the sick and casting out demons and raising the dead with them in the boat. So you think that it's bad that you've been stressed out about that thing? No. Listen, God understands. It is scary. God understands that it is terrifying and that in the wind and the waves that we are going to be afraid, right? I think that's why God gives us this story because you could not have gotten any closer to Jesus, and they were scared. So I think it's okay if sometimes we're scared. But I think then it's what we do from that position, from the point God knows we're going to be overwhelmed. He knows that the wind is going to crash and the waves are going to come and we're going to be scared for our life. He knows about the disagreement with your daughter. He knows about the discomfort with your husband. He knows about the stress of your finances. He's right there in it. He's in the boat when all those things were on the way. He was in the boat and he's still there in the boat when they come. And isn't it a nice reminder that he's asleep on a cushion at the stern of the boat in the storm? And so, but there's something that they do very specifically, right? So, I want to give you a few things that I feel like have kind of come up in this time of study for you guys. And so, thank you, by the way, for giving me the opportunity to study the Bible very specifically. Yes, five different messages in five different times. So, your being here means a lot to me and my spiritual growth, too. So, thank you very much for that. I appreciate it. But, so there's four things that I've kind of seen in this scripture kind of come to life, right, that I want to share with you right now. Call it four ways to be still, right? We need like something for clips and whatever, right? These days, everything's a clip. Everything's a TikTok. Whatever it is, I don't know. I'm trying to figure it all out. We got to do it because it is what it is. But here's four ways to be still in the storm. I don't know. Maybe I might actually use that because it's so ridiculous. Anyways, four ways to be still in the storm.The first thing that you notice is that because Jesus is asleep, he wasn't noticing the storm, right? I don't think that's on accident. I think that creates an opportunity for the disciples to come to him. Is that the first tip? Yes, it is. Bring it to him. Okay. Bring the concern to him. Bring the stress to him. The Bible says, "Come to me all who are weary for I will give you rest." But you got to go. You got to bring it. You got to come to him. You got to bring it to him. So that's the first thing. Bring it to him. The way the disciples brought it to him is they went and they woke him up. Wait a second. You ever have this experience where you get mad at somebody when they're asleep? Now, I need y'all to be honest right now cuz we're treating this time like it's church. Okay, this is holy ground. You can't lie. You ever have a time when you've been mad at somebody when they were asleep? Yeah. Be honest. The kid didn't take the garbage out or do the dishes or whatever it is and they're in there asleep and you go wake them up. What? Don't you see? Don't you see how we… do you not care how we are perishing? Your gripe might be like, "Didn't I tell you to take out the garbage?" You know what I'm saying? But I think this is very interesting. It's very human. Jesus is asleep. He's asleep on a cushion. So, he's comfortable. I don't know why, but what a beautiful vision. He's not just asleep in a boat that's wood and he's sleeping on a wood board. He's sleeping on a cushion. He's comfortable. He's comfortable in the storm. He's comfortable in the the journey. He's comfortable that he's going to be alright. He doesn't have to worry about nothing. And they just come and wake him up stressing out. And and you know what's funny? He doesn't check them right away. He checks the storm right away. And I think that he does that with us. He will check that storm immediately. But the first thing we got to do is we got to bring it to him, after you woke him up when you were mad at him for being asleep. Bring it to him. Come to him. That's your responsibility. You got to say, "God, I got this. I need this. I need you to help me figure out how to pay this rent. God, I need you. God, I need you to help me figure out how to navigate this pain. I need you, God. I don't know how to get through to that person because that person is hard to love. God, I need you. I need you, God. I need you." That's our first responsibility is to bring it to him. Go wake Jesus up at the stern of the boat and say, "God, we got a problem out here. We're stressing right now. These winds and these waves are crashing in on us." So bring it to him is the first thing.The next thing is to actually make the request. Make the request. Say, "This is what I need." God knows what you need, but he needs you to know what you need and you're asking of him. Make the hard request. What I see in their wrestling here, and it is okay to wrestle with God. Again, we hear in the story of Job, we're not blaming God. We're just like, God, I don't understand what's going on. Don't you see that we're perishing? Don't you see that I'm suffering? God, I need you. And so make that hard request, but ask it of him. Make that request to him because what he hears when you say what you need is your dependence on him for it. Very specific. If you need sleep, God, I need sleep. If you need a parking spot, God, I need a parking spot. You're a parent… A lot of you are parents. I'm a father. When my daughter comes to me and makes a request to me, I'm not annoyed. I'm not annoyed by that. I don't care. Sometimes I'm annoyed because you could get the juice box yourself. Okay? Right. Hey, listen. Sometimes we could do the thing that we need ourselves, too. But when my kid makes a request, Dad, I'm tired. I got called into work, Dad. I need a sandwich. I'm not upset. It's not trivial to me. It's important to me and it's important to your God, but he wants you to ask it of him. So, we're bringing it to him… our posture to wake him up… to go to him to pray, to get on our knees if we have to. And then we're asking it of him. We're making that very specific request. And then listen. We got to listen to him. When he does, then command the waves. Peace, be still. Peace, be still. What we should be hearing, what we should be paying attention to, what we should be listening to is that the power… he's bigger than this storm. He's the creator of wind and water. He is the one that is in ultimate control of everything. So when we listen to him, we can hear that power. We can hear, when we listen to him, when we read our Bible, when I listen to him and I'm listening to him as I read my Bible and I see the words say, "Peace! Be still!" Nothing in here is on accident. There's a command that he has over the wind and the waves and over chaos that brings calm. When you listen, you can hear that. When you listen to listen. Listen to let it land. Now we have brought it to him. We have acknowledged the thing. We have made the specific request, but now we're saying what do I do, God? He's going to give you breadcrumbs. He's going to leave little bits and pieces on the trail for you to find to lead you in the right way. Cuz just like in a video game… I'm a gamer, okay? I was trying to not tell y'all this, but I am. And one of the messages God gave me for you guys was around video gaming. And I was like, this is a group of women, God, they're going to judge me and they're going to think that I'm a silly little boy. That part's true, but you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm really not trying to be out here, but I am now. Okay, I'm out here. And I say all that to say one of the first messages he gave me for you guys was that he will give us the knowledge and the info and the intel and the breadcrumbs that we need to succeed. He will give you the info that you need to succeed. The reason why I bring gaming into this is because in video gaming there are clues. There are audio cues and there are visual cues and there's different ways of progressing. And you know an audio cue might be like you're running around a corner and you hear footsteps and you hear them on this side of your headphones cuz you're a nerd and anyways you hear it over here and you're like “ah!” You know what I'm saying? That's an audio cue that tells you that there's someone there, right? You might see a visual cue. that says, you know, over in this little area of your screen, you can kind of see footsteps. And you're like, “oh!” So you're responding to a visual cue. Why are all these things built into video games? Because the video game creator wants you to have fun. They want you to have fun. They want you to invite your friends. They want you to enjoy it and you can enjoy it more if there's more information that helps you be better at the game. So because you have these cues, these visual cues, these audio cues, you are able to be better at the game. That is the Holy Spirit in this metaphor. The Holy Spirit will give you these little cues, these little tips and tricks. Today, this is a true story. Today I woke up this morning to film this message. And as I woke up to film this message, I wake up to hearing my kid singing, “He won't fail, He won't,” that song, “Firm Foundation” by Maverick City. And she's in her room getting ready for work and she's singing that song. Great way to wake up through our season, through the storm, through all the turmoil that we've had just in the last few weeks and the pain and the suffering and the financial stress. It's been like, to hear your kids sing that is amazing, right? And that's how I opened my eyes today. God knows that I was opening my eyes getting ready to come teach this message to you. So, he gave me encouragement this morning. You understand? I don't take that lightly and that's not on accident. And then, oh, you think, oh, that's just a coincidence. Okay, well, how about this? Last night, I'm at church in worship and I very distinctly hear a message that that says, "Here am I, send me." And it's a scripture in Isaiah 6:8, matter of fact. And I hear God say, "Remember, you asked for this. You asked to be sent on this mission. In this mission, I will have to refine you and you will have to not buckle under stress. The stress of not being able to pay your rent on time. You will have to not buckle under the stress of the pain that you are in. You will have to not buckle under the pressures of the world. You will have to rely on me in this season to be refined so that I can use you. And I have this message and I hear this message and I hear this reminder that I've been praying this prayer for decades. And I hear this and I'm reminded of a prayer that I prayed that is coming true in this season even as I am sitting here talking to you. I'm reminded of that message. And I'm reminded that I prayed that prayer. And I see in my eyes a time when I had written that exact scripture down on paper, but I didn't know where the paper was. I didn't know where or what journal it was in. I've been journaling and writing for 25 years at least. I was like the little nerd kid that was like writing my feelings. Yeah, it was me for years. I don't know where I wrote that thing at. I have no clue. I let it go. Thank you, God. I got the message. I'm on. And then I'm like looking for the Bible that I'm going to bring to prepare for the time to talk to you and to the place that I'm at right now, which is incredible, by the way. And I'm looking for this Bible and I'm like, man, I know I have this leather Bible somewhere. Two separate disconnected thoughts. I know I have this little leather Bible that's not super heavy. I don't know where it is. Okay, cool. I guess I'll have to bring one of my big old thumpers. And I'm just fine. Whatever. I wake up this morning and my daughter's mom, who knows that I'm coming to this penthouse to film this for you and do a bunch of other content recording stuff in my writing time, she says, "Hey, I found this Bible. And here's a picture. Do you recognize this? Do you recognize this Bible?” She didn't just send me a picture of the Bible. She sent me like seven pictures, like a couple things that I wrote inside that. And I scroll up and literally in my text messages this morning…I wake up to my kid singing. Amazing. I open my phone and this is the text message that I get. It's the place that I saw in my mind when I was in worship last night when I was thanking God for the trial and the tribulation that I've been in. And I'm thanking him, God, that hopefully, God, you are using all of these things, this chaos and the calamity in my life. Hopefully, you are refining me, God, to rely more on you. And I wake up to a text message where 15 years ago I left this Bible at my daughter's mom's house and she just happened to find it this morning. We have to listen. Sometimes it's very clear like this. Sometimes it's very clear. But he's going to leave us breadcrumbs because he wants you to be good at the game. He wants you to. I promise. He wants you to excel in life. He wants you to be at He wants you to be still. He wants you to be at peace. He wants you to rely on Him in the storm. He wants you to bring it to Him when you're going through it and then ask for Him when you need it and ask for him what you need and listen to him as he is speaking, as he's dropping breadcrumbs, as he's giving you little messages here and there.And then the last thing I think that God wanted to show me about this season about this whole thing was at the very end when they are saying, “Who then is this that even the wind and the sea obey him?” We need to give glory to him because here's what giving glory to God does. This to me sounds like the disciples were in awe of him. They are just in awe of him. They're just like, "Are you kidding me? He just woke up." First of all, y'all woke him up angry, remember? And then he did what you told him to do. And now you're like, "Wait, he actually did what I told him to do. He did what I asked him to do. He answered my prayer.” And I hear them being in awe of him. “Who then is this?” They've seen what he can do. They've seen what he does. They've seen his power. They've heard his words. They've known that they were walking with him the entire time. And they still got scared because they are human and we're human and we're going to get scared and it's going to be uncomfortable. And then they brought it to him and they woke him up. And then they communicated their needs. They asked him for what they needed. They communicated that they were scared. “Don't you see that we're perishing God?” And then they listened to him. They listened to the power that is in him. They had to be reflecting on the fact that he's telling them that you are built the same way I am. That you can command that that matter of fact in Matthew's version of this story there was faith like a mustard seed. That story comes right before this story. So they had heard the story that if they had faith like the tiny mustard seed, that’s the smallest seed known to man that grows up to be the biggest most powerful tree in the garden, if they could just have faith like a mustard seed that they would be able to look at a mountain and say mountain jump into the sea go to the sea. That's the story. They had these stories buried in their heart and they're still scared. You know why? Because we're going to be scared. We're going to be scared because it's scary because we're human. Because we forget. We forget. We forget how good God is. We forget how many times he's shown up for us. How many things have been impossible? I can't wait to get to heaven to be like, "God, how many times did you save my life?” Seriously, that's my question. How many times did you save my life? And for him to give me a number and be like, "Oh, I thought it was only this many." But he was like, "No, there was a time that you were looking for your keys and it took you too longer to get out the door and you were so annoyed. You were so annoyed, but I protected you from an oncoming car collision. There was a time when you had a surgery go wrong and it changed your life. It sent you into the worst depression of your whole life and you didn't know where I was and you questioned if you'd even make it out of that storm. And you thought about not coming out of the storm, but I was right there with you then, too. I was the one that told you to get up and go back to church, to go rejoin community because I have to use you.”So I come to you and I deliver this message to you. I believe it. I believe it. I can only tell you this because I believe it. I can only share this with you because I've seen it. I've been saved by it. So I give glory to him. I stay in awe of him. I will always get stupid happy about the little things that I see him do because I know that he has the capability to do the big things. I bring my chaos and my calamity and my needs to you, God. I want to bring it to you. I want to ask it of you. I want to listen to you. I want to give glory to you. I want to thank you, Lord, for all the times that you have been with every single person in this room, every single person watching this video, every single person under the sound of my voice. Lord, from now until eternity, I want to thank you for the ways that you have changed their life, that you have protected their life. Lord, I pray Lord that you allow them to command the wind and the waves the way that you have, with the authority that you give us, Lord, to actively be still, to trust you in the midst of it, to feel the calm and the peace that surpasses all understanding, Lord, in the middle of the chaos. We know, Lord, that you're with us. And it doesn't feel like it sometimes. It's just so hard sometimes. But we trust you and we will bring it to you. We will ask it of you. We will listen to you and we will give you all the glory. Bless my sisters in this room. Bless my brothers who watch this online in the future. Lord, I am so thankful to be used by you. You didn't have to use me. I wasn't worthy, but you qualified me. And I believe you. I love you so much, in Jesus mighty name. Amen. Listen, I didn't write this into the script. I didn't but I can't, I cannot share the stories of how God's shown up for me and continues to show up for me in my storm without getting emotional because I know he's close and I know He's real. And I've stood in awe as he calmed the wind and the waves. So if you have things that are going on in your life, I promise you that he's there. He just wants you to bring it to him. He just wants you to give it to him. He knows you can't handle it. So bring it to him and ask him what you need. He's a good father. He's going to give you more than you ever could have imagined in ways that you never could have understood. But he answers prayers. So I leave you to pray, to take this opportunity, to bring it to him, to leave it at his feet, to listen to what he says. And I thank him for it in advance. We thank you, God. We love you. Amen.❤️JoelCashapp: $wehavetoshareZelle: [email protected]: @joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I really didn’t wanna share this. Just being honest. But I felt convicted in a few ways yesterday that, in my recent excitement in all that God is doing, I have begun to inadvertently edit out my bruises and my pain. It’s probably not inadvertent, at all. Who wants to share the hard parts? Who wants to really “boast of our weakness” like Paul did? Who wants to lay down their pride so that people think less of them? Not even I do… But it is my calling. It has been the purpose that God has been cultivating in my life for my ENTIRE life. “Teaching people to share their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy.” My mission statement. So… yesterday, on my social, I shared my message to my doctor, which serves as a physical update on my pain and what I am experiencing. I also felt like God told me very clearly to turn my camera on and record what came out… And here it is. This message took almost 24 hours to upload and it presented plenty of opportunities to back out and to NOT share… But as I listen to it again and hear what God was saying through this message, I am not ALLOWED to ignore the instruction to post and share this message. My faith is not predicated on pleasure. My faith has been built in pain. I have to share. Anything less would be disobedience. You can click the link to listen in the Substack app or on any podcasting platform. You can also click the YouTube link below and watch the video. ❤️JoelCashapp: $wehavetoshareZelle: [email protected]: @joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

He is so much better to me than my thoughts…I’m starting this piece with tears hanging on the shelf of my lower eye lashes…After confessing some very difficult thoughts about my last few weeks of life, I then began to shame myself for the fact that I thought that way in the first place. As I said out loud, “I know better and He is so much better to me than my thoughts.” The level of unblemished certainty that I have in God, lets me know that I needed to write this right NOW. Lord, I know that You are with me AND I’m scared and need You more.The tears have rolled over the lip of my lashes now. Sometimes, I think so much less of me than He does. Sometimes, I have a hard time seeing the path through the trees. I get so overwhelmed, God. I see Your hand in so much of my story, but I hyper-fixate on the places where I thought You’d do more. I feel like someone that has been in the drought of the hot desert for so long but can smell the water just over the next horizon. Matter of fact, it feels like I can sense that overflow of provisional water on the other side of the next horizon WHI LE having a glass of ice water in my hand…. That fills up sometimes just in the nic of time to sustain my thirst before I fall to my knees in exhaustion. And when I finish that life giving sip… even though I know that I’m so close to provision that I could swim in, I cry in fear that I won’t be able to make it there in time.The things You have shown me and the ways that You have guided me have been undeniable. Supernatural, even. So why am I still so hard on myself. Why am I so overwhelmed and why does it feel like I’m falling short… or that I missed something. Did I miss something God? Did you tell me to make a right turn and I made a left? How long, oh God.I mean, You are the one I come to for answers. I insert Your word into every painful crevasse. Sometimes I stuff it in there, too. I don’t HAVE to “feel like” hearing from You. I HAVE to hear from You though. I don’t even wanna hear from humans unless it’s You that sent em. They don’t have to be perfect or have anything together, either. I sure don’t. I can hear You in their voice when you are speaking through them. It’s hard though. To discern what is from You and what is not supposed to land on me. Just like I’m sure it’s hard for people, at times to separate a “Joelism” from something that You are trying to say through me. We’re so broken and lost sometimes, God. I think that’s why spending so much time in your words have helped. I can hear more clearly when something aligns with Your heart, because I know Your heart better.Can I be honest? This is what makes me upset sometimes, God. You let bad things happen to good people and it is so unfair. Especially when the bad people seem to get all the practical perks. If I’m being even more honest, it kinda feels like b******t that the people that trample other people make the most money. It infuriates me God to struggle with putting food on my table and keeping my lights on and a roof over my head when I wake up every single day and serve Your kids… per YOUR instruction. You have made it so clear that this is what I’m supposed to do that You keep bringing more people to the ministry too. I know who my first hire is… YOU told me who it is. And it’s so absolutely incredibly non-sensical AND perfect at the same time… that it could only BE a vision from YOU. And my first official “hire” isn’t me or my executive assistant.You’ve brought me a person that works with me side by side each week. For FREE … just like me. She believes in the vision and helps me manage scheduling for my SHAREapy sessions with people and she had helped me to develop the merchandise store and the website and we have a schedule. If I’m in too much pain, sometimes it’s from my bed that I have to work from while she is screen sharing our work from her PC. But we are working on Kingdom work every single day… she holds me up in prayer when the pressure gets too great. And you’ve brought us someone who helps with social media and believes in the vision and now you brought someone who could help with creative design and video and…. You are bringing the people… but where’s the finances Lord? It seems like everyone else trips into money and provision but I don’t drink, smoke or have any vices and I can’t rub two nickels together.You know why it really makes me the angriest? Because You know that I’m not doing any of it for the reward. I don’t even wanna know how many people I’m helping to the kingdom of Heaven because I do NOT want to ever think that ANY OF IT is about ME!! It makes me angry that You KNOW my heart and You see exactly what goes into my days… You see my pain. And You see my praise. You see when they happen at the EXACT same time. It makes me upset with You God … that I can be so in love with You that I try to curl up at Your feet and sometimes it just feels like You could do more. I mean… I love You so much that I’d rather just blame ME. I can’t blame You because You are perfect and Your will is perfect and Your plan is perfect and I believe that SO much that I’m just left… with me. I must have missed something… there must be more I am supposed to do… right?But then I hear those words that I have studied and read. Just now, as I was pleading with you, I thought about the story of Job, in the Bible. In the third chapter of Job, when He was wrestling with Himself over his afflictions, Job cursed the day that he was born because even though he was upset with his circumstance, he knew God’s nature to be too good to be blamed or shamed for his pain. (Job 3:1-3) I know You are perfect and Holy and sovereign, Lord, so this HAS to be on me, right? I think the power of this entire story is that we are bound to be overwhelmed by life’s circumstances and if we really believe that All things work for the good of those who love God and are called to His purpose (Romans 8:28), then when we do come to an overwhelming season of circumstance, we’re bound to go INSIDE of our own brokenness to search for the missing pieces. Did I miss it? Was I supposed to go left and I should have gone right?In Job 13 he pleads with God like this: “How many wrongs and sins have I committed? Show me my offense and my sin. Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy?” (Job‬ ‭13‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NIV‬‬)I think this is a good reminder that sometimes when we believe God is who He says He is AND we remember how often we fall short of His glory, we have a profound proclivity to be way too hard on ourselves as we spiral out. You know what else? When we do that, not only do we ascribe to a lesser version of ourselves than what He sees in us, but we also begin to think of those circumstances as bigger than our God.You know what God does in the story of Job? For those that might read this piece and don’t know this story, don’t feel bad. It ain’t pretty. The story starts as the devil get back from roaming around the earth. He approaches God. God, then offers up Job (pronounced Jobe and rhymes with robe) as the test of faith. Satan argues that God has blessed and protected Job so, surely he will not curse you. So God grants the devil permission to destroy his life. Job loses everything, including all of his kids, his health and his wealth. Over the course of the next 37 chapters, I believe that Job experienced every single negative emotion and feeling known to mankind. He was isolated both spiritually and physically with leprosy and suicidal ideations. His friends and family and wife told him that it had to be his fault and that he should just curse God and die. Yet he resists the urge to curse God.When asked how the story turns out, I think most people would sum up the ending where Job, as angry and frustrated with God as he was, and as frustrated and damning to himself as he was… he never cursed God. His anger and frustration manifested in honorable wrestling with God and even though his toil transformed into self deprecation, God restored everything that he had lost seven fold. God didn’t just make him whole, God 7x’d him. As some would say in today’s language.But this isn’t what I think God just revealed to me, even in my writing of this piece. Stay with me. Time to land the plane.In Job chapter 38, God enters the chat. “Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?” (Job‬ ‭38‬:‭1‬-‭2‬) This part is so powerful to me because for one, The Lord spoke to Job OUT OF THE STORM. As overwhelmed as I feel and as overwhelmed as you have felt… I don’t even need to ADD much to make the connection, but in case you missed it… God was in the storm. That’s the only way Job could have heard Him from the storm… is if He was IN the storm in the first place. I mean… that’ll preach all by itself. But then I noticed this. In the previous chapter, 37, Job was singing God's\ praises the best way he knew how. He was observing creation and pointing to the places where God was. He says, “Listen! Listen to the roar of his voice, to the rumbling that comes from his mouth. He unleashes his lightning beneath the whole heaven and sends it to the ends of the earth.” (Job‬ ‭37‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ )‭ Job is trying to find God IN THE STORM. His posture is such that it’s like he’s saying… his posture is such that it’s like I’m saying… I know You are in the storm, God because You are so powerful. I see you in the ways You have given me clear vision. I see it in the ways You have brought people alongside me. I know You are here but I’m overwhelmed and I need help, God.Yeah… I blended the story into my story because the story is my story. And I can feel the conviction in my spirit that is God saying “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?” The next part of the story is brutal… God tells Job to buck up and listen, like a man. He goes on to point out that it isn't even in our capacity to understand small parts of His greater design. ““Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.” Job‬ ‭38‬:‭4‬. If you know so much Joel, explain what I’ve done… and if you cannot… You could never fathom what I’m going to do.I have to share this next passage. I love God’s flex here because it starts to “right-size” our “overwhelming”.“Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, to water a land where no one lives, an uninhabited desert, to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen? “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades? Can you loosen Orion’s belt? Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth? “Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?”‭‭Job‬ ‭38‬:‭25‬-‭35‬ ‭NIV‬‬That is the same God that called me a pastor. He’s the same God that qualified me to coach people's faith. That’s the same God that listens to me when I’m in tears and on the verge of giving up. He’s the same God that told me to write this NOW. The God that sends the lightning bolts on their way… and the same God that brings the constellations into season. That God is the same God that heard me weeping in the shower… a couple months ago. When all I could say is “God I don’t understand why you would call on ME to walk with Your kids in this way. I’m scared and I’m broken and my body hurts and I’m so limited in my capacity God and I don’t know if You picked the right guy. There’s people out there that can afford their rent and they are able to walk without pain and they have big pretty smiles and they don’t get outta breath when talking to fast… there are so many other choices God WHY ME. I need You as much as anyone else cuz I’m lost sometimes God. And I’m overwhelmed.And through the tears and the sound of the hot shower, I heard Him say “this is why. This is why. Because when you are hurting, you come to me. When you are lost, you come to me. When you are happy, you thank me. This is why. Joel. This is what qualifies you to serve my kids. All I need from you is to bring them back to ME. This is why I chose you. This is what qualifies you.”….When I record this, I’m sure I will be in tears. Because I’m in tears now, as I write this.My God is bigger than my overwhelmed-ness. Your God placed the stars in the sky. He has been thinking of you and loving you since you were in your mother’s womb.You know something that I think God wanted to show us today? Being overwhelmed doesn’t always stem from having doubt in God. Sometimes it’s our confidence in God that causes our inadequacy to flare up and try to become the main character of the story. We think that, because God is good and all the time God is good, that when bad stuff happens, it’s our JOB (see what I did there) to figure it all out. When we run that cycle enough times in our mind, we start feeling things like “did I miss something God? Was I supposed to make a right and I made a left? Did I miss my blessing?”But, instead, sometimes, God is just sayin “lemme cook”. I know you don’t know what I’m doing, how could you? Do you give birth to frost from the heavens that makes water hard as stone? In other words, all of the things that you don’t understand, I created them. Everything originated with me. You can’t miss a blessing that I have promised you. I am bigger than your overwhelmed-ness. I am working all things for your good. Period.I don’t know who else needed this today but thank you so much, God for helping me with this message today.Can I invite you to bow your head and pray with me? Lord, you know exactly where we are overwhelmed. You know the things that we are wrestling with the insecurities of our heart. You know the people that are in our lives that are hard to love. You know the ways that you want to stretch us and grow us to be not only more intimate with you but to be more intimate with our family, friends and coworkers. Thank you for giving us examples in the Bible of people who were overwhelmed too. It helps us to not feel so alone. It helps us to understand that it’s OK to wrestle with you and even to be frustrated and or angry. As long as we don’t blame you or curse you, God. Thank you for the ways that you allow us to question our circumstances and to call on you for help. We need your help God… So many of us are overwhelmed. Thank you for the reminder that your glory is so big and what you’ve done here on earth is so magnificent that there is no obstacle that could possibly stand in your way. Thank you for rightsizing our overwhelmed-ness.Thank you for the reminder that you work all things out for your good. Be close to the brokenhearted God because when we’re in it, it’s so hard to feel the goodness of it. In Jesus Name,Amen.If this message blessed you and you want to support me in anyway, send this to a friend, like the message, subscribe to the Substack, donate to help keep the lights on… whatever you feel lead to do is appreciated and is going directly to keep a roof over our heads. That’s as real as I can put it. God knows how many times I have wanted to give up but it is way too clear that His hand is carrying me and catching me when I fall. I cannot fail with Him involved. The end… for now.We will have a “Look at God” ministry update later this week… stay tuned. Reflecting on all He’s done continues to encourage us for all He’s going to do… even though we get overwhelmed sometimes.❤️JoelCashapp: $wehavetoshare Zelle: [email protected]: @joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Listen, I felt like I should sit down and record the impossibility of this day and the last few days… and this fell out. I am starting a more formal format for podcasting and SHAREing and even though it’ll probably, technically, get better than this… I genuinely pray that every time I open my mouth, I get to honor God’s calling like this … You are not alone… and we’re gonna prove it. 💘 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

That was the question of the day today from my physical therapist, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Of course I have to set the story up a bit better than that, but I promise, I’ll answer it, too.Rough starts to my day are kinda normal, at this point. I was dealing with the usual pain stuff but there was an extra layer of dread in the mix today, as I walked over to PT. I’m scared that my right knee (my "healthy" knee), that has been doing most of the heavy lifting (literally) for the last 5 years, is starting to have problems and pain. I mention this at the start of the story because I think the most powerful thing that God has been doing in my life in the last few years is allowing me to stay receptive to whatever messages He has for me in a day… regardless of my pain. Pain consumes capacity. So for me to still be receptive to His messaging WHILE in pain… it means that He is divinely expanding my capacity to contemplate the “more” that He has for me.I could stop right here. In gratitude. Because I know the days of overwhelming pain and circumstance all too well. I’m not always perfect at receiving it though. lol. I got off to a rough start with the PT today … even as I stood in the midst of Gods grace for me, my PT started to piss me off the second I got there.He’s a floater Physical Therapist. Meaning, he doesn’t have a home office but he floats to cover wherever they need him. Today, someone in my normal PT office was out, and I got to work with him again. I think he’s a great dude btw. He’s always caring and always engaging. Matter of fact, he’s lowkey famous for his head-scratcher questions. He always asks SOMETHING of the whole office that makes you think outside of the box. “What’s the one movie you’d leave in a time capsule for them to find in 100 years?” “If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?” “What’s the largest animal you think you could beat in a fight?” He always asks questions like this and it gets the whole office talkin… every time. I love it.But today when I limped in, he started with a couple case specific things for me. The one that irked me was when he asked me if I have experienced any difference in my pain level since the partial replacement. I said, “prior to surgery, I felt severe nerve pain. Now, I experience deep bone pain. So the pain is different… but still very prevalent.” His response wasn’t malicious. At all. But the nerd in him started pontificating about the fact that bones don’t have nerve endings… so technically you cannot have bone pain. I’m not gonna lie… I probably have some PTSD stuff going on here because of the fact that I’ve had so many people tell me that I wasn’t actually feeling something… and then they get an MRI back and then they realize… “oh. That. Yeah. That’s what you were talking about this whole time.” It’s actually traumatizing to be perfectly describing exactly what you are feeling…and everyone is telling you that it’s not real. I mean… for 2.5 years they told me that it was impossible to have as much pain as I was having in my knee. Then, one day, a plastic surgeon opened me up and let us all know that there were nerve endings trapped inside my knee capsule. She said, “You must be experiencing blinding pain when you put weight through this knee…” All of a sudden, everyone believed me. After dozens of appointments… and procedures… and surgeries.So yeah… pain + PTSD is how I started my day.I knew that he wasn’t being malicious. I knew that he was probably factually correct. And I also knew that he had no idea, yet, that my diagnosis of Bone Marrow Edema meant that my bone was literally swelling from the inside OUT… putting pressure on the implant in my knee and causing pretty severe pain. Bone pain. Even though, bone pain isn’t really a thing.I shelved that initial reaction. I kinda let it fall away from my heart… like a weight I just didn’t need to hold onto. It wouldn’t do anything to serve me, and if I’m being honest, the more I’ve focused on bitterness, the more I’ve probably missed. I don’t know about you, but when I focus on the problems of the day, it makes me less receptive to catching the good parts of the day. It’s definitely not easy to stay positive though… and I definitely don’t always succeed at it. I get overwhelmed by the details of the day more often than I’d care to admit. But I am a work in progress. And I’m doing my best to live in the grace of God.Then… the question.What’s the best compliment that anyone could give you?Without a pause, I said, “Oh that’s easy! Matter of fact, I’ve been kinda hearing it a lot lately. One person told me that when I talked to her it was like there was no one else in the room. That she felt seen and important in that moment. Someone else told me that they had experienced deep community in relationship with me. Someone else said… ‘my faith and prayer life has grown since meeting you’ … so yeah. The biggest compliment anyone could give me is that their relationship with God got better and I was there for it. Best compliment in life is that someone got closer to God because of something they experienced through me. Easy.”Names and faces were popping into my head. Instantly. And I knew that the goal of the question, from a sociology or even psychological perspective is kinda meant to answer some much deeper questions. I know that it reveals the desires of your heart, but I hadn’t even had a chance to process all of that yet. This floodgate of feelings just gushed out of me. I think I was still answering as he had moved on to the next thing he had to do with his adjacent patient.That was weird, God. What are You up to?Then, while my mind, body and soul were wrapped up in the next series of exercises, he had ANOTHER wildly introspective question. His next questions was, “What makes you do the right thing?” This one created a little more pause in my soul… my initial thoughts were close, but not quite IT. First thing I thought, “the way my mom raised me”. Then, “oh, the Bible dictates a lot of this” then, “everything I’ve learned in church, etc.” But none of those were the exact right answer, until I it hit me. My Faith. It wasn’t the obvious first answer because I really HAVE been taught well by my mom. And the scriptures DO teach me a lot of the right moves to make. And I’d be remiss to discount all of the teachings that I have been on the receiving end of. But you know what? None of that means anything if you don’t believe it… none of it can come OUT of you until you internalize it and make it part of YOU. Faith allows God to let the beautifully beneficial lessons of life, land on your heart and transform you into a better and more “right thing” seeking version of yourself. It allows you to submit to His way… which is way better than your way. Faith gives you the confidence that you don’t deserve, to live the life that Only God could script for you.Kinda like a painful day turning into an affirming day. Kinda like God bringing up all the things that you are wondering about and confirming to you that you are on the right track. Kinda like Him gently reminding you that He’s been in the story the whole time… even when your ptsd tries to steal your joy and revelation.But why write about it? What’s SO big about this story that takes it from being a guy having a bad day to a guy that answered a few good questions?Glad you asked. 😜For awhile, now, I’ve been trying to imagine what it is that God wants me to do for work when I fully come out of this season. I’m still holding fast to the fact that I will have the necessary procedures to allow me to move past this position of pain or that God, himself, will place His hand on my body and He will heal me instantly. One of those things is going to happen. And it’s probably not going to happen how I could fathom it happening. But, for years now, while He was doing what only He can do, I’ve been doing what only I could do. My hands are off the wheel, but my foot is still on the gas. And… that’s a pretty cool visual, and all… but if I’m being honest honest… He’s in full control of everything and there have been days when I’m sucking my thumb crying in the backseat and I wake up from passing out and we’re in a whole new country with God. lol. That’s probably more accurate.Today’s series of introspective questions and answers… comes less than 6 or 7 hours after I think God might have delivered my next mission title. Faith Coach.Now imagine my morning through that lens… I barely slept because my mind had been racing. I had spent a few hours with some friends who love me and were kind of brainstorming with me around where they saw that God might be leading me. We kicked around a lot of ideas that make sense. Podcasting. Interviewing. Holding space for people to share. Obviously ministry. Clearly serving people. But here’s my problem… yes to all of it. And also … I’d do all this for free for the rest of my friggin life if I could. I mean… this is what I do now. Everyday. Full time. For years. I walk with people. Through the good and the bad. Period. I do life with them. And every time I have a meltdown and beg God to show me what to do next… He points to exactly what I’m doing now! But I’m like… ok… well where is the paycheck God? I need this to tangibly make sense.So then my friends say “Life Coach”. And I hear God say…. “Close! But dig here”. So I’m meditating on this life coach concept… and I’m shooting holes in it left and right. Eh, I’m not good at this, not qualified for that… not even really sure what the heck a life coach is. I already do LIFE with people but I think it’s their faith that God lets me walk the closest with. Aha… Faith Coach.I felt this holy qualification fall on me as the words came out of me. I may not know how to create a 5 year plan… might not know how to maximize your investment portfolio… but you know what I CAN do? Hold some holy space for you and spend some time with you in ‘SHAREapy’ and see how God wants to use it to help grow our faith together. I am a Faith Coach. Already. And I’ve been tested in ways that I never could have expected and I have ended up having my faith grow deeper and stronger than ever. What the enemy meant for evil… God has been using it for my good. And now we’re here. In a storyline that only the Holy Spirit could write. Yeah... we’re going to write pieces that are both blog posts and podcast episodes. We’re going to continue to publish Bible studies and resources that give people tools for growing their faith and facilitating connection to others who seek to do the same. We’re going to keep telling the stories of the miracles that God is doing in the world right now. Yeah… all of it.I think the piece that I’m the most excited about is walking with more people. Intentionally. Empathetically. SHAREing. It feel exciting that with even the very FEW people that I’ve SHAREd this idea with, they do the “ohhhh. I love that” thing. And the “yeah. That makes total sense” thing. It fits in my head. It makes sense and it feels like it’s something that I can develop systems and processes around. Yeah, I’d do it all for free for the rest of my life but God also knows that we have to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. So it will be interesting to see how this all works out. I know it will because look at what God is doing… I didn’t do any of this. I didn’t even have the idea. He did. I didn’t come up with SHAREapy. He did. All I got to do was put it into practice and reap the benefits that I can now share with the world.And then, I went to my PT appointment, with this Faith Coach idea rattling around in my tired brain, and I got to hear product testimonials come out of my own mouth about how I already have gotten to be a Faith Coach… and God is already at work there. Nothing is by coincidence. And this question just confirmed it. Of course God wants me to keep doing this and to take it to the next level. Of course He wants me to walk in my purpose and flourish in it. Of course He wants to provide for me and my family as I shepherd His kids through this crazy thing called life. Of course this is it. My spirit feels so much joy around the sheer thought of helping people to grow their relationship with God because without Him I wouldn’t have made it. Of course I want to share this gift with as many people as possible but also just the ONE that may have strayed away. Or the one that has questions. Or the one that is suffering and feels alone. Or the one that is on their own mountain top season and wants to help others get there too.God knows that I need Him to point to the thing He wants me to do with a big neon arrow and I know that He’s doing that with this. I want to keep following His signs and wonders, and walk the path that He is paving for me. I know it’s not conventional, and it’ll probably sound weird to a lot of people. But I know He’s making a way for me. I know He’s got His hand on my life… and I know that wherever I go with Him, life will be lived to the fullest.Joel Barnes - Faith Coach - at your service.❤️p.s. your answer this the question, ‘What’s the best compliment you could receive’ … probably reveals your passion. It might even reveal your purpose… I’m just getting started… Thank you again for all of the support!!You can find ways to follow the socials and to support me and the family at our linktree - https://linktr.ee/wehavetoshareInstagram: @wehavetoshareTiktok: @wehavetoshare_Youtube: @wehavetoshareCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

It’s time for an update! I’ve been wanting to do this and dreading doing this (at the same time) for a long time. I have so many prayer warriors. 😭 🙏🏽 So many. And I am so so thankful. So many people from my mom’s Facebook page that have steadily held me and my family up in prayer … so many people that are following along as I have updated and prayed… so many people who I’ve never even met in person but that have grown deep relationships with over the years as I’ve navigated this season. Whether you are a person that has told me that you are praying or not, or a person that has supported me through this season in any way or if you are a person that has cheered from the sidelines, or even someone that’s seen the updates and had this strange confidence that “he’ll make it out of this season. I just know he will.” I appreciate it all. You have no idea. I’ll get into some of that in a bit but first up… the happy part of the update.I realized that I needed to do an update because, the other day, someone who I see relatively often, admitted that he had forgotten that I was in a rough season. Even though I still use a cane to walk, he had no idea that was because of pain. Nah… it didn’t hurt my feelings at all, (even though, come to think of it, in the past, it might have) but as matter of fact, it was quite encouraging to me. He said that when a person shows up for others and serves and connects and engages with them, you don’t often think about the pain that they, themselves might be in. I think this is super important for us all to realize about anyone. If I’m being honest. My situation is a bit different, but so often we see the first one to jump in and help as the “ok” one… when a lot of the time, the more eager someone is to help, the more desperately they are in need of a sense of purpose… to help… them. I have definitely stepped back into service of others because it was also ME that needed it. But in this case, what it meant to me was that people weren’t looking at me through the lens of my limitations… but rather through the success of my service. Gosh, guys… let me tell you how much of a miracle that is to me.First, though, I need you to understand that everything that I have been doing, has been by the grace of God. Since September of 2024, I have: served at 2 Alpha courses, written my first of many Bible study books that is available for purchase on Amazon, I’ve been in the word of God everyday, I’ve organized a weekly small group based on the biblical example of community building, I’ve walked with a dozen plus people through some really difficult things, I’ve stepped fully into ministry… and after God directed me towards “consistency”, I post daily scriptures, and messages on multiple @wehavetoshare channels to help share the word of God and to also deepen my knowledge, wisdom and passion for the Bible. The directions He’s given me in the last 9 months, the things He’s allowed me to see about my season, the connection that He has fostered…. It’s simply an Only God story… already. I am living out a story that only HE could have written. Yeah. A lot of it sucks. Still sucks. A lot of it is still very difficult to navigate and manage. But I think I can make an attempt to explain where we’re at in this season by sharing with you a vision that I got from God a couple years ago.Well, first, let me say that I didn’t know that I would be sharing this vision with you yet. I thought this was going to be the grand finale of a season of suffering. A big tadaaa story. And who knows… maybe it will be. But, I have been compelled by the Spirit to share this with you right now. As it stands. A miracle in progress. So… here we go.He showed my season like the life cycle of a butterfly. More specifically, the cocooning process. When He showed me it, I knew almost nothing extraordinary about the lifecycle of a butterfly. You probably have the same exact knowledge that I had. A caterpillar, a long worm lookin bug, walks on a bunch of legs, eats leaves all day. When I was a kid, the caterpillar was the one responsible for boring the holes in the apples in all of the coloring books. The nature of the caterpillar was one that was limited to crawling around on its belly from limb to limb, eating its way through life. I remember thinking, that with respect to what it would become, a beautiful fluttering butterfly, the caterpillar seemed limited in its capacity to defend itself from predators and even though it was cute in my ABC book… it was underwhelming, to look at, to say the least.What I knew of the next process was pretty basic, as well. The caterpillar (for whatever reason) decided to hang from a leaf or branch and then it forms a cocoon around it and ultimately pops out as a butterfly. I just kind of assumed that its body segment became the middle of the butterfly and it went into the cocoon to grow wings. Then, when it emerges, it has changed. Now, all of a sudden, it knows how to fly. Now, it was able to reach even greater potential and demonstrate even greater beauty. I felt like it was a pretty simple metaphor for me to understand. Matter of fact, out of all the prayers I have prayed and failed to revisit… along with THIS vision came one of my most brutal and powerful reminders. Mind you… at the first receipt of this vision, I felt like I was already in the cocoon phase of my season. But I remembered praying a very very specific prayer a few years earlier.“Less of me God. And more of you. Transform me from the inside out.” (Yes, there’s a popular worship song that says this as well as scripture to match)I had no idea how literal the Lord was going to take that prayer. I had no idea how much MORE there was to that vision and the metaphor that I thought I understood. He was entering me into the metamorphosis phase and in His gracious nature, he gave me the beautiful vision of a butterfly being delivered from the cocoon, to hold onto. That vision has sustained me through dozens of procedures, insurmountable pain and now 7 major surgeries. When I have been able to remember the cocoon, I have been able to remember what comes next. The cracking of the cocoon. The emergence of a new thing. The spreading of wings to dry… moments before a formerly foreign way to move becomes manifested as an effortless flutter.Hope. He showed me hope.And as beautiful of an image as that was to see, both then and now, the reality was there was SO much more happening in that cocoon that I could ever have known.I’ve studied the lifecycle of the butterfly and gosh… the cocoon is such a hard place to be. Both literally and figuratively. Not only does the caterpillar change in the cocoon… it completely ceases to exist. It begins its journey by attaching a thread of silk to the underside of a leaf or branch. The entire next process is held together by a thread of silk. I have thought numerous times over the years that I felt like I was holding on by a thread… the cocoon is literally doing just that. Tossed to and fro by the wind and the elements and tugged on by the growth and metamorphosis of the butterfly. That has come to represent the tangible strength and power of God, to me. If you ever watch a time-lapse of a butterfly developing in a cocoon, it looks like it is trying to come loose from the grip of the silk that connects it to the branch. Almost as if it’s fighting to pull away but the soft and simple power of God keeps it close. Keeps us close. As much as we resist Him and our own transformation.. He stays connected to us through it.Then!! I started learning about what was going on INSIDE of the cocoon. Holy smokes. This is where I have had the hardest time with the metaphor AND it has also made the MOST sense. After connecting to the branch or leaf, the caterpillar begins to shed it’s exterior, which gives way to what’s called the chrysalis that forms the outside of the cocoon. The real work begins. The caterpillar begins to excrete an enzyme that completely melts and destroys the form that we once knew. Nothing survives this part of the process. Everything becomes new except the core DNA. New body, new legs, new head, new face. He makes all things new...and in doing so, He brings the insect into its most fulfilling and purposeful part of its life. This was where I began to understand that my prayer, for less of me, and more of Him, was happening in the darkness of my own cocooning season. Everything about me has changed…except the DNA of what my purpose was destined to be. Everything about my life in the past was the caterpillar headed to the cocoon. When I started praying those transformational prayers… transformation got the green light to begin.Has it been what I expected? Well, no. It’s been much much worse than I ever could have imagined it being. Just being honest. But I would never change the way God has been changing me in this cocoon season.Matter of fact, let me fill you in on exactly where I’m at physically on May 28th 2025. I had my 7th surgery on October 21st 2024 and it was a partial knee replacement. The surgeon admittedly “went conservative” with the decision to do a partial and not the full. Unfortunately, he probably should have replaced the full knee and let me get a clean slate at healing from that point forward. What it’s meant that he didn’t do the full, is that I am, unfortunately, still in a ton of pain. Daily. And with any increased activity through the knee, it can knock me down for days on end. My pain lives around a 6/7 out of 10 regularly but when I stand or sit for a long time, it escalates. Pretty severely. I try to cook every Sunday for me and Hannah to have a good meal for the week and every Monday is rough because of it.Yes, I am trying to build up the social media and I’m writing when I can and I’m living out this ministry every single day in every way that I can. But the fact of the matter is, my health still isn’t stable enough to work. Last week, I did step ups at physical therapy… all I did was step up on a 6 inch platform 30 times…. And it nearly put me in the hospital. I had a friend point out that out of all of the ministry stories that I had shared with her, and even though she was empathizing with my pain and my desire to work, so much of the ministry stuff that I do wouldn’t be possible if I did, in fact, have a 9-5. And trust me. I love it. I’m not one to cite the numbers or the analytics around what I do in a week and who I walk with, and how it all makes sense to the Kingdom. But I am wealthy where it counts. Even though I still need prayer for provision. He always provides. He didn’t bring me all this way to forsake me. I know that.I’m not a butterfly yet. But I’m also not perilously dangling from the ground expecting the thread to snap either. I haven’t been able to stretch my wings… but I can feel them in my back. I’m not fully out of the cocoon yet… but it’s cracked open and I can feel the breeze outside. I can smell the fresh air. I can anticipate the taste sweet of the pollen. I can begin to imagine what it will feel like to fly. For all of that, Lord, I thank you.You know. While I was writing this piece in my head, I knew that I wanted to say “guys… it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, yet… but we’re on the way.” I’ve always used that analogy but today, I really thought about rainbows and butterflies within the context of this piece that I’m writing. I also cannot help but filter everything through what I learned in the Bible. Rainbows in the Bible represent the promises of God. In Genesis 9, God uses the rainbow to remind Himself and mankind of His commitment to our life on earth. It represents His mercy and faithfulness in our lives, through it all. And now, having had the benefit of reflecting on the butterfly for the last few years, I think the butterfly represents deep transformation into the version of us that God has intended for us to become. His plan is never for the caterpillar to stay a caterpillar. His plan is for it to transform into its greater and more purposeful self. The process is dark and scary and lonely sometimes. But as we also know from the lonely cocoon and from the lonely tomb… God tends to do His best and transformational work, in dark and difficult seasons.I think I planned on going deep into the butterfly metaphor a bit later because it’s always more fun to look back at a difficult season and say “look what God did!” But instead, even though I’m not fully out of the cocoon yet, I get to report “look at what God is doing!“ Yeah, I cannot explain to you how low I have been in this season. I cannot explain to you how confused I’ve been when I do exactly what God tells me to do and yet I still end up struggling so much. I cannot tell you how discouraging it’s been to deal with pain on this level, to struggle this financially, to navigate a season with so little control. I may never be able to truly communicate how close to the edge that I have been in certain moments in this season. But it makes complete sense that a butterflies cocoon of transformation is held together by a thin thread. Because it is only by the grace of God that the thread didn’t pop and I didn’t fall further than I could recover from. God has been so good to me, even though I’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death.As I wrap up this piece, I would love to invite you to follow what I’m up to on social media… Hopefully that’ll start helping. I would love for you to share this newsletter with people that you think it may help. And I am not above letting you guys know that financial support is still very much appreciated. I’ll leave links at the bottom to do so if you feel lead. Hannah is going to Loyola University and we’ve got dorm dues and we have a bunch to do to help her get situated, etc. Please keep praying for God to show me how to make ends meet. I really am just doing my best to follow His lead on everything and to do whatever He tells me to do. Pray for healing and pain relief.. believe it or not, I’m actually in a bunch of pain right now from physical therapy today but more and more, I can feel God beating back the pain to let my mind work. Pain has been shown to change neuropath ways which can damage a persons ability to think clearly and be creative. I have felt this and at times it’s hard to write, but to God be the glory… today… I’m writing… despite the pain.I’m still expectant. The cocoon has been cracked. Pray for me as I push my way out and with God’s blessing, stretch my wings and begin to fly. I am confident in His promise.🌈🦋JoelAll the things! Thank you again for all of the support!! You can find ways to follow the socials and to support me and the family at our linktree - https://linktr.ee/wehavetoshareInstagram: @wehavetoshare Tiktok: @wehavetoshare_Youtube: @wehavetoshare Cashapp: $joeldavidbarnes Zelle: [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

For this weeks deeper dive into a scripture, I wanted to look at a concept in the Bible that I believe is one of the most powerful. As you guys know… I’m big on this concept of SHAREing. My mission is to teach people to share their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy. That’s my LIFE mission statement currently.There’s so much power in connecting with each other and growing empathy for one other. I believe that it’s holy and that it’s very much a representation of God’s nature. And as holy as it is.. it’s relatively easy. All we have to do is intentionally create safe space for each other to listen and to share. I believe the Holy Spirit will do the rest.That’s it.But, SHAREing isn’t the concept for today… as you can see, though, it’s the beat of my heart. I had a stranger tell me that I was true to my mission, this week. And she had JUST met me. It was powerful because it was unexpected and genuine and completely objective. I had to give her my email address ([email protected]) and she had looked up the website in between our calls. She said that I represented my mission to SHARE very well because I made it so easy to connect. All I did was stop our business convo for a brief second to ask her how SHE was doing today.Ok ok ok…. The topic for today!! lolI think it is one of the next phases of SHAREing.Intercession.Now… if you’ve been around the church for awhile, this is a big churchy word and it can feel a bit overwhelming. Especially if you don’t really know what it means.Interceding is going to God ON BEHALF of someone. See. Already it makes more sense. You ever prayed for someone? Yeah. That’s intercession. You have brought someone else’s needs or troubles to God for them.This has a power that I don’t think most people can ever fully grasp because, first of all, we don’t put enough faith in prayer. If we really believed when God says “When you pray, I will answer you. When you call to me, I will respond….”‭‭(Isaiah‬ ‭58‬:‭9‬ ‭GNT‬‬) then maybe we’d put prayer way higher on the list of things we should be doing.Again… that’s another whole convo.To go before God on behalf of someone… is one of the most powerful and sacred acts of our faith.You know why I think that? Because that’s what Jesus did. If you think about the whole story. God sending His son… His Son giving His life for us… making a way for US to have relationship with God, the Father… Jesus in the flesh interceded with God the Father ON OUR BEHALF.When we get to step into this gap for our brothers and sisters, it is one of the most profound and sacred acts that we can perform because it is Christlike. It is emulating the heart posture of that beaten and bruised innocent man that says “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:24)I had someone step into that holy space for me this week. Tears are beginning to well up just thinking about it. I’ll be completely honest… I haven’t gone back to this moment much, since this happened … because I was in really bad shape.I have been trying to go to the gym on off days from Physical Therapy. If I have to go under the knife again.. or not, I resolved to “leave it all on the field” so to speak. I’m trying to rehab the other 75% of my body that’s not damaged or disabled currently and also trying to think outside of the box on other things I could be doing to help my back and knee. This particular day, I walked backwards on the treadmill for 15 minutes on the lowest setting. There’s a lot of research around walking backwards to combat knee pain and I attempted it at its lowest possible setting.It almost put me in the hospital. I was in so much pain within the hour that it sent me into a panic attack so bad that I could barely breathe. I think I began to cry because I was so heartbroken that something so simple could hurt me so badly. Something that I felt hope around made me lose it. I felt so discouraged. I have felt so discouraged for so long. Everything I do causes me pain. I mean… my bone swells … from the inside out… when it’s aggravated. I kept saying “God… this is unbelievable”.I’m totally cool when the ‘unbelievable’ or the ‘impossible’ is a testimony of God. I bathe in that glorious testimony. But when the impossible or the unbelievable is my pain…. It devastates me.I was devastated. Hysterical. Inconsolable.In a panic, I just knew I needed someone to intercede for me. I knew I was too crushed by the weight of pain and heartbreak to pull myself out of it and I knew I needed prayer. I called a friend of mine Rachel and through my broken words and gasps for air, I told her that I was in so much pain I just needed her to pray for me. She did. Instantly. It was beautiful. And I got off the phone and I was still gasping for air… gasping for help… gasping for prayer.I felt the Holy Spirit whisper the name Zoie. I didn’t even hesitate. That’s how you know I was down bad. I didn’t even process the fact that it had been at least a year since I’ve talked to Zoie. I didn’t spend the time to ponder if it would be ok. I didn’t second guess anything. I didn’t overthink anything. This was as urgent as it gets in the spiritual warfare world….I didn’t even get the reason why I was calling her out of my mouth… in between sobs I said “I just need you to pray for me”. She did. Within three minutes, she had said “God is blessing the fruit of your labor.” Remember when I talked about how hard I’ve been working between PT and the gym? But it causes me so much pain? That labor. You know how hard I’ve been working to cook and create content around it? That labor. You know how hard I work to connect with others and pray for them and do life with them and SHARE with them? That labor. It echoed louder than my pain.She continued to pray for me in a way that brought down heaven. I have no idea how long she prayed for me… cried for me… spoke in the holiest of languages for me. When she was done, it was like the pain obeyed and shrunk back to the spaces in my body where they occurred. The pain was still there but it was as if I could ignore it for the first time in hours. My spirit felt calm. My ball of emotions had been supernaturally uncoiled. I was at peace. And I fell asleep. That, in and of itself is a miracle. I haven’t fallen asleep when I laid down in years probably. Whether it’s my mind or my pain… one or the other is gonna keep me up.They interceded on MY behalf. They stepped into the gap for me like Jesus did for all of humanity. They said, God… hear our prayers for Joel. He needs you. He’s beaten up. He doesn’t have it in him to bring this to you himself, so here we are. On his behalf.Romans 8:26 says “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” When we don’t know what to pray… like when you are hysterical crying in pain… the Holy Spirit takes your prayers to the Father. The same God that listens and answers. The same God that in Mark 11:24 said “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”Oh, but I can’t even ask God… cuz I’m so beat up. I’m so weak right now. I don’t have the words! THAT is the power of interceding on someone’s behalf. God is so gracious, He sends the Holy Spirit to help you… and if you don’t call on the Holy Spirit… you can still call on a friend. And when that friend brings what YOU need to HIM… it will be done.I want you to think about this the next time you have an urge to pray for someone. Whether they know it or not. Whether they asked for it or not. Whether they THINK they need it or not. I want you to think about the power of your faith in their lives. I want you to know that there is power in your prayers for others. If it brings down heaven and they fall asleep in pure bliss… awesome. If they never even know that you interceded in their behalf… also awesome.Whatever you do…intercede for people.Pray for people.Most people won’t ask.Everyone needs it.Everyone.If you are called upon to pray for someone. I just want to give you a couple words of wisdom that I saw on beautiful display from my friends this week.You don’t need to understand anything about their need. God knows everything they need and he is the only one that can fix it, so shake off any pressure that comes with this. “God, thank you for the opportunity to bring my friends issue to You. You know the answer. You are sovereign. You can handle it all.”If you don’t have the words, get quiet and listen for them. When someone’s mind and spirit is going haywire, one of the best things you can do for them is bring peace and stillness into the room. You can repeat simple and peace bringing words. “Thank You Lord. We love You God. Thank you. You are Holy. Thank You for Your presence. We love You.” Don’t be afraid to slow it down. Breathe deep. Take your time. The words will come.Be bold. The Bible says to go boldly before the throne of grace. Here’s the scripture “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬) You are there because someone needed you there and God empowered you to be there. You get to call on the power of the almighty God on behalf of this person… be bold.Lastly, the power of asking for prayer.I don’t know why this is genuinely so hard for us but I have some educated guesses.Ego is one of the blunt ways to put it… whether we don’t want someone to see us as weak or we want to be perceived as ‘in control’… that’s ego. Anything that come up inside of you that considers what someone else might think about you, is your ego outweighing your desire to be closer to God. That’s the harsh and gut wrenching truth. You care more about the perception of others than you do about someone knowing you in your weakness and bring that to God. Choose Jesus. Ego is overrated. And lonely.Maybe you don’t think you deserve it. Yeah. Any of it. God’s attention. God’s healing. His time. The time of your friend to pray for you. Your friend having to stop what they are doing to pray for you. You feel like a bother. A bother to God… a bother to whoever you might need to intercede for you. You overthink asking for prayer. “Oh they have so much going on”. Or my go to excuse “everyone is going through THEIR OWN s**t… they don’t wanna hear mine.” These are all thoughts of a person that might be struggling with feelings of worthiness. I’m praying for you right now to be reminded of your worthiness. I’m praying for you to know and believe in your CORE that God loves you so much that He would do everything and chase after you. He has done it and shown it constantly throughout the Bible. Read the parable of the shepherd in Matthew 10:10-14. Here’s a synopsis… He will leave the 99 for the one that strayed away. And when He gets you, He will carry you back to safety and rejoice in your return. You are worthy.So, today, whether you are called upon to step in the gap on behalf of someone else, or you, yourself need someone in that gap who takes your needs to the father… I pray that God would wreck your thoughts on intercession. I pray that He will free your mind and your soul to grow closer to Him… even if someone else needs to help you get there. I pray that if someone else needs you to step into the gap for them, that you rely on Him to lead the conversation.Long story short… it’s Him who ends up doin the heavy lifting. It’s Him that has promised to do so.Be blessed.Love,JoelOne way to join our growing community is to join the Discord. Yes, I know it’s a weird name for a community building space and then there’s the whole “not another app” syndrome. I made a video explaining the benefits of discord and showing you what it’s all about. I’ll link that YouTube video down below! Be Blessed and if you need prayer… hit me up!! I got you!! This is a public episode. 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For my whole life, this scripture, in particular, has been very very difficult to navigate. It has felt like an impossible task, at times. It has felt like something I would never be able to truly accomplish… if I’m being honest. As I have done work in and through therapy, the goal line of “honoring my father” has felt closer, at times, and much further at others. If I’m being really, truly honest, this scripture, as I have wrestled with it, has felt like a sort of bondage or captivity, for my soul.How God? How do I honor a man that has physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally abused me, my siblings, my mother, consistently over the course of my life? How do I say things that bring honor to a person who has never repented for any of it? How do I honor a person who has gaslit me any time that I’ve attempted to bring my grievance to them? How do I stop feeling the shame of not having honorable things to share about my father? I mean, it’s one half of the scripture. It has felt like something that was so hard to achieve for so long.Until today.I’ll tell you that the way I had navigated this commandment before today, was to just not  talk about my father. I’ve mentioned him quickly and occasionally, before, but it always felt like this precarious dance around the subject. It felt like if I said too much about his abuse, that I would begin to dishonor him… and that felt like I was in violation of this commandment. I felt shame… for being abused.Let’s frame this commandment in all of its importance and power. It is the fourth commandment. It didn’t just “make the list”. There are only 10 total commandments that were given to Moses during his 40 day and 40 night sabbatical on the mountain with God. The first few commandments highlight Gods relationship with Man. The first commandment is to not have “any other gods before” Him. The next few are to not create any other idols to worship other than him, to not take His name in vain, and to observe the sabbath, which was a time highlighted to preserve our relationship with Him as we rest in a rhythm of holiness with Him. All of these commandments revere and preserve our relationship with Him.The VERY next thing He commands is the honoring of our parents. One can surmise that the order of importance to the honor of our parents is second ONLY to the reverence and respect we show God, himself. “Honor the parents” appears ABOVE, they shall not murder, or slander or covet… so the commandment itself feels pretty important.And I believe it is. But I also do not believe that it means what we’ve come to understand of its meaning. I no longer believe that this commandment means that we should hide from our truth. I do not believe that God wants this commandment to evoke the shame of injustice as I believe it has come to be taught in our current Christian churches.I do not believe that HONOR means to lie.I do not believe that HONOR means to hide.I do not believe that HONOR means to lie for.I do not believe that HONOR means to cover for.Instead, I believe that God has buried a freedom in this commandment very similar to the freedom he has planted within all of the commandments. I think it’s easy for us to grasp the concept that not killing someone not only physically maintains our own freedom because of governmental law and the rulings of the day, but it also keeps us free from the bondage of guilt that’s associated with taking a life. It’s a heavy and difficult weight that we would carry and it’s easy to understand why God wouldn’t want us to endure this burden. I believe that all of the commandments are made for the purpose of protection and freedom from pain, strife and burden. It took me a bit longer to understand that concept with the 4th commandment but I arrived there, today.How?Well, I’m glad you asked. I was in the holy place of deep spiritual meditation and I was performing the sanctified act of teeth brushing. Lol. I had just seen on Facebook that this news that Hannah had received last Friday had made ANOTHER appearance that was, this time, my Facebook newsfeed. It’s been 5 days since my daughter was awarded the All Conference MVP and Player of the Year award for volleyball. Almost every single day, since she got the award, last Friday, it has come up, in a different way to celebrate. When she got the award, she received a trophy and a hoodie with her name and number on it and we learned that this was something that she was nominated for by her coach, but that the other coaches and athletic directors in her conference actually had to vote for her to receive. Major news. Major award. Majorly proud of her. You could even say… honored.As the days went by, so many little things came up. We reflected on how tough her season was. We reflected on how rough it was for her to continue on with the team. We talked about her college essay that I shared in another post (you can find that here). We reflected on her injury and the devastation we all felt around that season ending event and how hard that was to go through, at the time. We reflected on how she got this award even though she couldn’t finish the season and from the bench, how powerful her support of her team was.Then Monday, she came home and told us how they had put the news of her award in the email to all the school and how they were announcing it on the intercom before and after school. Yesterday they sent it to the parents email and today, they put it on their Facebook. It has been cool to see how well they are honoring HER for her achievement and as I brushed my teeth this morning, I have this moment of epiphany. I flash back to the night before, as I shared the news of Hannah’s accomplishment with my Alpha group, one of the group members said to me, “Joel, that’s a reflection of how you’ve raised her.” I shrugged it off as I do often when compliments make me feel uncomfortable. I kinda swept it under the rug because, in my mind, this is a celebration of Hannah. Not of Joel or her mom.But then, today, as if I was hit by lightning… it all came together.We honor our mothers and fathers by the way we ACT in the WORLD as an example of God’s goodness and grace. NOT… just by the way we talk about our parents. It’s the way we carry ourselves in the world as a light in dark places that truly HONORs GOD and THEN our parents. Whether you deem them deserving of the credit of how you act in the world OR NOT… it’s not the point. The glory is always supposed to go to God. The honor is bestowed upon your earthly parents by how much  influence they have in your development. You are always a child of God first, who has the opportunity to live in a way that extends the love and grace God into the world. This is the mechanism that someone can connect the way a child lives in the world by his/her example at home. If the parent is “honor-able” aka able to be honored… then the honor will flow to the parent. If the parent is NOT honorable, the actions of the child will still show the honor that the commandment requires… it just may not have the ability to land on the parent in holiness.Honoring our mother and father is about US… in the world… as children of the most high God… and it can equally honor the parents, although, I do not believe it’s the sole purpose of this commandment , any longer.If you step back and take a look at the commandments as a whole, they all follow this trend. They are ways that God is protecting us and steering us toward the free-est and most protected possible versions of our lives. Exactly like the way that we give our kids instructions and warnings in order to keep them from harm or steer them away from suffering.  We do these things out of love. Just like our father in Heaven has. To live a life in a way that honors God in heaven, perpetuates honor here on earth and brings honor to you mother and father. Whether that’s your intention or not, it does. More importantly it’s yet another way to guide us for how we live our lives.I used to feel as if this commandment was something that held me a bit captive. I didn’t feel like I could achieve this goal because of the pain I felt from this person. Even as I navigated forgiveness, it felt like a lie or a partial truth, to cherry pick the only few things I could come up with to report honorably. For years I just kinda lived by the old adage “if you ain’t got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But that felt like it stood in direct conflict with my calling to teach people to share their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy. How could I share the truth and still remain in honor? How could I stay in righteousness while wading through the muck of abuse and neglect?Well… today I realized that the way I honor my Father in heaven is the best way to honor my parents on earth. Just as I have said before, I am not the judge that will hold anyone in accountability at the end of the story. I’m just a person called to represent the love of Jesus here on earth. I’m just a dad called to train up a child in the way she should go and when she is old she will not depart from it (proverbs 22:6). When she does not depart from it… aka when she LIVES OUT the truths that have been instilled in her, then SHE brings honor to her father and her mother.If you were like me and were raised with the mentality that this scripture is what you OWE to your parents… I want to release you from that shame induced narrative right now. If you have been the victim of abuse or negligence or molestation by a parent, I want to release you of the narrative that implies that you owe your parent some sort of unconditional respect, no matter what they’ve done to you. I want you to know that the God of the universe loves you dearly and tenderly and He would never require of you to draw close to an abuser or a perpetuator of trauma. He is not requiring you to keep abusers in your life. He has not commanded you to honor your mother and father in order to make you, your kids or your children’s children susceptible to further abuse. He is a good good Father. And as a good good Father, I believe He wants us to “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Prov. 4:23) Even honoring your mother and father. If you are like many in today’s world who come to find themselves at odds with your parents because of their political views or their stances on policies over people, I want you to know that honoring your mother and father does not mean you have to agree with them. It means that as you seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), He will reveal to you the ways in which you can “honor” from a distance.When I had this revelation today, it felt like it is the kind of truth that breaks chains. I can think of the way that this scripture has made me feel shame in my own life. I can think of many people who have wrestled with this concept and felt as if it told them to allow abusers to continue to take up space in their lives. I don’t believe that the God of freedom wants this for you. I believe that this scripture has been pulled out of context, as so much of the Bible has been, to give manipulators an emotional stronghold over our lives. I rebuke that stronghold, in the name of Jesus.I declare you FREE from the abusers and the narcissists and the manipulators.I declare you FREE to walk in the love and honor of your Father in Heaven.I declare you FREE to honor your father and your mother from a safe distance, if you need to.I declare you FREE to forgive the trauma that has been inflicted on you and for you to heal in your own time and space.I declare you FREE, in the Name of Jesus to live an honorable life and instill that honor into your children so that one day that same honor can reflect your holy and honorable influence in their lives. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Psalm 731Psalm 73 A psalm of Asaph.1Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.2But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.3For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.4They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. [1]5They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills.6Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.7From their callous hearts comes iniquity [2] ; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.8They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression.9Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.10Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. [3]11They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?"12This is what the wicked are like-- always carefree, they increase in wealth.13Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.14All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.15If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed your children.16When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me17till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.18Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin.19How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!20As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord, you will despise them as fantasies.21When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,22I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.23Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.24You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.25Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.26My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.27Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.28But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

“God we got 9 minutes… let’s get into it 💪🏽😤💪🏽”So I’m sitting here on the corner of the streets that intersect at my kids school. To be exact, I’m laying on a bench. Hannah had a game tonight. I wasn’t feeling good at all, today.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually… none of it. Having one of those “any time now, God” kinda days. One of those days that makes non-believers look at you and say “see… you do all that believin but you still suffer a lot. That’s why I don’t mess with faith. Look! He’s pissed at God!!”.To that sentiment, I say, leave me alone… I’m just over here talkin with my Dad. Sometimes it ain’t pretty. But don’t get it twisted… I’m still talkin to the only one that can help.I think I arrived at the school on my last few fumes in my tank. I got here and I had about 9 minutes til I figured Hannah’s team would be taking the court. I could have rushed in and gotten a seat… coulda gotten the friggin stairs outta the way. Me and those narrow stairs leading up to the 3rd floor where the gym is, have a beef goin. For the last 3 years … it’s been me vs those damn stairs. But I didn’t wanna go inside on Empty.So I sat down. On the steps of her school and I prayed. I needed a fill up. So I prayed.  it wasn’t pretty at first, either. More in that later in… but, after a little of me and God tussling, a scripture came to mind.Next thing… I feel promoted to play this song.(Lol. Yeah. I names Hannah’s AirPods “Joel’s daughter is a badass” hahaha… I forgot I did that. But I want her to get the subliminal reminders. It’s needed. At this age and every age.Anyway… I could feel the stress fall off in those 9 minutes. It was a lil shot in the spirit … and I needed it. I wanted to be present for Hannah and her game and taking a moment … taking a deep breath … and pouring in a little Good News helped me shift into presence.Hannah is nursing a high ankle sprain that she got in a game last week. She was visibly hurtin and that was tough to watch. I could tell she was pushin through it… she made some great plays. The kid is a natural at volleyball. She just instinctively knows what to do most times. It’s fun to watch, even though she was off for the game tonight. I also could tell that something was going on inside her heart, though. It wasn’t the first time I knew something’s been going on with her this past weekend.The few times I checked in with her to see how she was doing over the weekend, she told me that she was sad. I didn’t get many more details. I didn’t push or pry. I just had to give her some space. That’s a tough mission for a parent who cares… lemme tell ya. You wanna know what’s going on with your kid when they are sad but as they get older, you have to back off a bit. You have to move the “catch me daddy” hands a little bit outta range for if she falls.It’s not as simple as it used to be. She used to get to the edge of the pool and make sure that I was paying attention before she jumped, “catch me daddy!!” I had a heads up. I was requested. Without me, the fall would have been dangerous for her. Fast forward a decade and the best thing I can do for Hannah some days is to remind her that I’m close… but give her some distance. Oh, trust me… I wanted to know what the heck was going on… but I just had to let her know that if she wanted to talk, I’d be close.They lost the game in the 3rd set. Rough game for the team. Rough game for Hannah. Her injury definitely affected her gameplay. Her mental state definitely affected her gameplay.After the game ends, she asks me if I can head home without her and she could catch the bus home. She said “I just need to talk it out with someone dad. Really important.” I couldn’t let her catch the bus home in the dark… especially since I was there and could get her home with me safe. I told her … “I get it. You need to talk. But you can either FaceTime them when you get home safe, or I can wait. I’ll go sit in my bench and let you talk it out. But I’m not leaving without you.” She agreed. I texted her to take her time. And I waited. I’m sitting here right now… waiting for my kid to get her communication on.You know? This is the part that I wanted to talk to y’all about. Sooo many times I’d just rush and be like “no kid. We gotta go home. Call them. Or y’all live on FaceTime … FaceTime them!” I mean… realistically it hurts to not be horizontal most days… so my pain could have been built up… especially after sitting on the wooden benches in the gym, people without sciatica leave the bleachers with a sore butt. Lol. Maybe it’s physical, maybe it’s work, maybe it’s money, maybe it’s a coworker that just wouldn’t shut up at work and we show up to support our kids and we’re on empty.>I just started writing this… because I didn’t know what the message was gonna be, I could tell that the spirit said “if you’ll start writing it, I’ll connect the dots and fill in the blanks.”The only reason we had a different and better interaction when Hannah wanting to catch the bus to talk it out with a friend, was that break… right before I went into the game. I had tears about to burst from my eyes as I got there. My heart has hurt so much for Diana. I had just had another really irrationally difficult day. I’m just exhausted on every level.I look at the time in my phone. 5:21 pm central standard time.  “God we got 9 minutes… let’s get into it 💪🏽😤💪🏽”Your word says “‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’”‭‭Jer ‭33‬:‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬I had an unsearchable thing I was baffled by God…and I need to know what’s the word, Lord of all Lords…How the heck You let cashapp stop working for doing instant transfers  today, God? At the exact time I needed to see if I could make it to Hannah’s game. Like. C’mon man… I’m out here proclaiming my faith & takin these steps that are the actions BEHIND the faith and I’m just not able to fix it… and You gon let cashapp go down for the exact hour I need it? I know. Petty, right? Lol. But it’s honest!As I was bitchin and moaning to God… about things He already knows about AND He’s already seen me through…As. I. Was. Bitchin.I feel Him suggest somethin: Look up the scripture you learned 5/6 years ago. Remember? The Wi-Fi password for that Cafe in West-loop. Nohea Cafe. 4110 was the password. Log in name: IsaiahIsaiah 41:10 —-> “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭10‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Joel. Chill. I got this and I’m RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. Don’t trip. I am your God. Not only at I gonna handle it… I’m gonna make you stronger while I’m here. (This is how I hear this scripture. This is how it makes me feel. Strong. Relatable. Personally FOR me.)The next prompt was to play Wait on You ft. Dante Bowe. That’s my jam. Normally I play it when I’m the most discouraged with God’s plan because in the moment, it all seems so heavy. The pieces are all so confusing to say out loud… When I’m overwhelmed.. it’s a great song for my heart because when you are “waiting” you are still hoping. It’s in the moments where you feel like you don’t have enough hope to wait that get you into really dark and difficult places. (If you find yourself in one of those places today, please shoot me an email or a discord message. Something. I’ll stand with you in the darkness and I’ll bring a lamp they doesn’t hurt your eyes. We’ll find help together. Promise.)And yeah… I get mad at my Daddy. Like. Pissed at my Father. Every kid gets upset with their parents. It’s normal. Every kid thinks they know better than their parent. Every kid b*****s about it.Point is… I’m talking to Him about it. And I say it out loud in prayer and as I’m confession my distaste for His grand plan… I can hear how stupid I sound. My spirit pointed out the hubris of the words and in me stomping my feet to a creator that made every interwoven pattern in the back of a butterfly wing and is so powerful it said 4 words and LIGHT became a thing... How easily I forget and I’m sorry God. Thank you so much for the reminder with that scripture and the song. You reminded me of how good You are and have always been. #SpiritualSnackYo… and to think … that same day, I was pouting so bad, I didn’t even feel like askin Him nothin. Lol. I’m blessed to have been able to have a few minutes to fall into a time of reset and I got to have a good lil spiritual snack.Fast forward to after the game and after her talk: My kid came outta school about an hour after I had walked around that corner and laid on a bench and resisted watching a stream or doom scrolling. She came out after I got about 2 solid pages into this piece. Long enough for me to know that it was going to be a truthful, vulnerable and intriguing lesson for me to learn, also.We gotta reclaim some of our time by getting in a spiritual snack more often. We gotta fill up. We gotta stop and see what God’s gotta say. It might even start with a “how could you allow this, God” kind of posture. Or a confused posture. Or a posture of grief or broken-heartedness. But all I suggest is …get there. Go. Go talk to your Father.Don’t be callin Him outta His name, or anything like that. Because imagine someone came at YOU like that… js🤷🏽‍♂️ I think a popular one I see in movies is “I don’t know if You’re out there… or if You’re even listening.” Try that opening line. I bet he looooves that one! Lol. JkjkBut seriously. He said ‘Call to Me and I will answer’ soooo that’s between you and Him. But that’s His promise to answer. Just don’t miss it or be too closed off to catch it. That would be big sad. Yes… He could appear to you scruffy up your hair and say “hey, it’s Me God” and float back to Heaven in front of your eyes. He could. But, It could be plain as day and some of us will still decide not to believe in Him. I think like any parent, He knows the parlor tricks are just for the birthday parties and family gathering. But the hard parts of doing life….The parts that aren’t told or talked about… The places where shame and hurt live… you can talk to yo daddy respectfully but angrily. You can cry to Him. I keep thinkin He’s gonna be like “Joel… I already told you this like 👏🏽 6 👏🏽times…😤” But He doesn’t. He’s gentle when I need it. Firm when I need it. Like any good dad.Hannah came around the corner, “I am so, sorry, Dad. Oh my goodness. I’m so so sorry. Are you ok??”Me: yeahHer: yeah? Really?Me. Yeah babe. You said you needed to communicate with someone face to face and it was seemed important to you. So, I got you. And we’ll go home safe together.Her: I really appreciate that, dad. I doThat feeling. Hearing her say that. Felt so good. Truly. I’m really hard on myself but the authenticity in her voice let me feel how real it was. 🥰 it’s like this parent swoon we get to experience every once in a blue moon with teenagers. Lol.After we got home. From the game. Hannah just talked and talked and shared and shared. I got caught up on the whole weekend worth of the life events of Hannah Marie. I found out who she talked to.. why… recapped the history.. heard her tell me that “all so-n-so does is talk s**t about people and it sucks” (not supposed to be proud… but kinda proud of how the used the S word used in perfect context. Her delivery was on point and somehow respectful, still. I mean … s**t talkers are tough to deal with and it’s a big problem in her generation. Sometimes they even make our adult life feel like we’re back in high school…. So she’s not wrong.)But we talked for a solid hour. Then off and on through the short time she was up. The convo even spilled into the next day where, because of what she shared, I got to text her a couple scriptures about what came up while we talked.I mean… a LOT of good came from taking that 9 minutes.An old friend posted this on Instagram and it felt like a perfect affirmation for this story.I mean… things that any of us go through are going to leave a mark on our kids and our relationships around us. But I bet a lot of you never thought about that with your kids, or even about our youth. We can make it our GOAL to set these kids up with better than a lot of us grew up.Handling our s**t… is one of the best ways not to pass on our s**t to our kids. And I know I’m the one that needed the spiritual snack in that moment… I can see the commercial now.. 📺 An over dramatically dirty and dingy man enters the scene fussin and screaming at God. Gets handed a snickers bar but it says “Prayer” on one wrapper and “Praise” on another wrapper and a stop clock counting backwards starting at 9:00. Then a boxing fight bell rings!“Prayer Really Satisfies” (sung the same way as the Snickers a really Satisfies you” song goes) flashes across the cheesy screen. Just then, cut scene to me acting like a normal glowing human trying to catch their kid’s volleyball game and relate to his kid to maintain a healthy connection with her. The snack literally fed us both. And for a day. Maybe the story will even bless someone else. Maybe someone else that’s even reading this. Maybe someone will open up a little more space for themselves and their kid to communicate. I know I’ll try to look for places that I’m rushed or frustrated and taking it out on my kid… or just not being present for her… I’ll be looking for more opportunities to have a snack. 🤷🏽‍♂️ I will! It’s the only snack food I know that can make you healthier and healthier! LolBy the way, I may mention parenting a lot because I’m a parent and some of these situations are revealed in that relationship of mine. But the good news about the Good News, is that it applies to everything. My relationship with God, now, is more like that of a child and his Dad. So, I tend to find a lot of relationship clarity for ME was when I realized that God was the Father I always needed in my life. So … lots of transferable parenting references and experienced. this is all for everyone.I just don’t want to alienate anyone who may not specifically hear their singleness honored, or their loss honored. I just pray for us all to know that no matter what, our Dad loves us. And He’s never far. And He wants what’s best for you. And the people that you care about around you, too.Thanks for SHAREing on this adventure with me.JoelThank you for reading Share. The Newsletter. This post is public so feel free to share it.Thank you for being on this journey with me… it truly means the world to me.Already a subscriber and think someone else would like this publication? you can gift subscriptions! Click below!Below is the Discord link I spoke about in this piece AND a couple ways you can support me in this work. Thank you! In Advance! Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/Gst7ZPZ5V3Cashapp: $wehavetoshareZelle: [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

BobTomI haven’t really had the strength to write this yet. But I just got a gust of “write it now” wind… so I’m stopping a text conversation mid-sentence to rush over here and write this piece about my friend, who I miss, and his dear wife, that I have come to love, as much as I love him.Here’s the story about how I met my friend, and Diana.Pre-Covid. I hadn’t gotten hurt yet, so I was 6’5” 275, strong, agile, moved around a lot. “Lifted heavy things”. (Lol. This is all I used to say.) Had a pretty physical job in the church and I started a small group at church that was a men’s group that had different odd jobs around the church. I’m a guy… soooooo I know that if you want guys to gather, they need to have a mission. Lol. Our mission each week was to set-up, tear down or flip some space in the church. Afterwards, we’d have some food together and chop it up about the Bible in some way. It was a pretty fun small group and to be honest, that’s getting added to my personal physical goal sheet. We had some great connections in that space. I met a lot of cool people in that season.One of em was this dude that Christi, our Care Pastor, asked me to show around, on one of my Men’s Group Nights. It was on Monday nights. Christi had the Grief group therapy session that she lead on the other side of the building. She told me of an older couple that were in the way and that were kinda new to SCC. The wife was going to be helping with the grief group. The husband had told Christi that it’s fine if we needed our toilets cleaned… he would just go around and clean all the toilets while he waited for his wife to finish serving. He just wanted to be useful while he was there. Christi related that message to me… I remember thinking… “that’s friggin awesome. This old dude wants to clean the toilets of the local church. How humble is that?”That right there. That last line. That’s my first thought of this man. Hadn’t even met him yet.I did meet him just a few mins after that. Quiet dude. Kinda reserved. But in a “kind” way. I told him that he’s coming to hang with me for the night. “If you hate it… you never have to hang out with me again.” Lol. He laughed.Christi says: “and Joel, this is his wife, Diana.” I turned to her and told her “I’m a hugger. Is that cool?” And I gave her a big hug. Welcomed her to the church. Thanked her for serving in grief group with Christi and I think the moment happened pretty fast. it felt like I met a woman of God. Someone with deep feelings and empathetic towards all… much less those who were in pain. (More about this story in a different piece).I’m terrible with names y’all. I am. I hate that I am, but I am. I’ve never forgotten a face, but names seem to escape me more that I like.“(Internally) Diana’s husband’s name is Bob. Yeah. Bob. That’s what I heard. (Audibly) Hey guys! Meet Bob. This guy wanted to clean the toilets instead of hand out with us.” Lol. We all had a quick laugh and then we were all brothers.From the Love Works side of the church, I got a reminder that there was a mission trip leaving that week. And they were having their last “send off” meeting. I jumped at the chance to go down there and pray for them. But I wanted all my friends there too! So my Mens group went down there to pray for em. But then somehow I taught the message that I had preached the day before in my kids middle school sunday class.Honestly… I know it went great. But the part I remember the clearest was “Bob” sitting to my left in a chair. I was kinda perched on a stool because of course “professor joel” had to use the dry erase board…. And I remember feeling like “that dude gets it.” I remember it feeling like he supported me. Even though he didn’t know me.After we wrapped up and gave all the missionaries a plethora of hi-fives and prayed for safe travels, we went back up stairs to flip the auditorium. I’m not gonna lie… I kept my eye on the old guy. I had to see what he’s got. I noticed that he was Strong. Able. Wise. He knew what he could do and he pushed that limit even a little more. He contributed as much or more and any guy there. And he was like, 74. I think.“Hey Bob! Now it’s time to eat!”After we worked, we broke bread together, while we had some topic to discuss. Sometimes we’d just do a check in. I could tell “Bob” was gonna fit in juuuuuust fine. Matter of fact, I really like hanging out with older people and older generations. People are so fascinating but older people are the MOST interesting to me. They have more time and experience on the planet… they’ve been through crazy life stuff that we haven’t even thought about. If you listen, you might learn somethin.At the end of Small group… remember, me and “Bob” have only known each other for an hour and a half… maybe 2.I start to walk with him back towards where, his wife, Diana was serving. I said “Bob… What’d ya think bro? You think I’m a crazy person, don’t you? You can be honest.”He’s laughin.. and he goes “We gotta tell my wife that I hated it and had a terrible time. Go over and tell them that I don’t want to come back.” And he’s laughin his butt off… but he’s trying to control it as we get closer to Christi and Diana standing in the lobby.I approach, prepared to deliver the bad news that “Diana was going to have to find her own way back next week because Bob doesn’t wanna come back”.Christi: You mean Tom. Tom doesn’t wanna come back, Joel? What’d you do?He laughed. Christi and Diana laughed. I laughed. It was clear in that moment that this was my dude and I was his dude. Only took one night.But I’m confused…I look over to Tom and said… “you let me call you Bob this whole night and you didn’t correct me?”He just looked at me like “it didn’t really matter what you called me.” Remember the humbleness that I first thought about him? It was a real thing. It was always a very admirable thing that I loved about “BobTom”. He was a model for how tender Jesus can keep your spirit even as you face trials in life. The man had been through so much but he still had a great sense of humor, was still nice to everyone and he genuinely cared about the people he did life with.Oh yeah… I told Tom that his new name was “BobTom” since he let me call him Bob all night, I figured he must like it… so I started calling him BobTom every time after. His name is BobTom in my phone right now! We laughed every damn time we saw each other and he supported me and he prayed for me, often.I know BobTom is in a special place in heaven. He passed away this week on Monday. Nah… Heaven got blessed this Monday.My heart breaks for Diana. All week, I’ve prayed for you. You’ve told me that you’ve read my pieces in the past… if you are reading this one, can I pray for you?God will You send a sea of angels to land on Diana tonight. Will You comfort the mourning? Will You, be close? We couldn’t imagine the pain she feels, Lord. Do what only You can do and use us in whatever ways we can support her best. Amen.(We’re with you Diana❤️)BobTom, imma miss you man. Imma keep prayin with Diana. Thank you for everything. You always believed in my heart… and that has always meant so much to me. I wanna be funny and tender and tough, like you when I grown up. Aye… and now that ur an Angel and all that… kinda keep an eye on ya boy! Lol. I miss you. 💔❤️Joel This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Day 4It’s actually day 4 this time. I didn’t write it record this one a day in advance. I kept lookin around yesterday like … “nothin? Nothin you want me to get fired up about today, God?”Damnit.  LolIt’s fun being fired up.Passionate.Fired up.Motivated. Encouraged.MotivatING!!EncoragING!!But not in the last 24 hours for me. Pain has been crazy. It’s not Emergency Room crazy but it’s “can’t think” crazy. For sure.Matter of fact, every night, after being so “on it” for the podcast / newsletter, has been rough. Recording puts me in my chair more. More seat time = more pain. And it’s totally worth it, but I have definitely paid the price for it.It’s been a week and a half since my last surgery so let’s get into a little update action.I’m going to do a check in I learned at church. Maybe it’ll be something that you haven’t heard before and that can be your positive takeaway.It’s a check in called P.I.E.S.PhysicallyIntellectuallyEmotionallySpirituallyI figured I’d do this check in style because it’ll only get better as I go on. But the physical check in might suck a little.Physically - I’m still hurtin. As I mentioned. BUT… I DO think that my last surgery worked. There as always been a pressure point inside my knee that’s kept me from fully extending my leg and weight bearing. Let’s say that pressure point was 2.5 inches across before the surgery. I think that pressure point is more like an inch across now. Much much better… but not fully eliminated yet. The weight bearing and walking mechanic should (hopefully) improve as I get back to physical training. We’re hoping that gets approved soon. So far, it has not.All that sounds pretty good, but that’s only about half of my current issue. I did a neuroconnectivity test a few months ago (probably 6+ months ago, at this point) and it showed that based on my altered walking pattern that I’ve had for 3 years now… there has been some severe nerve damage in the nerve branch coming from my lower back. It’s the same nerve cluster that houses the sciatic nerve. It runs through my left butt cheek, under my left sit bone (some people call it the butt bone), through my hip, side of my leg, through my knee, and all the way down to my foot. THAT whole tract is inflamed. Any time I sit… I’m literally adding up time that I’ll be in pain. I sit for 45 mins to do somethin, I’m gonna suffer for 2/3 hours. 2/3 hours seated… forget about it for the rest of the night.The pain feels like I’m being cut with a knife that’s 1000 degrees. Sometimes it feels like fires pulsing in my lower back. Sometimes I can feel my heartbeat in the nerve pain pulses. It’s wild.I mentioned that I quit taking the lyrica and cymbalta and all those daily pain meds because they were doing some messed up things to my mind. And… I have been trying not to take any opioids during this writing project because I think they make me a bit more scatterbrained than I like to be when I write.Intellectually!!Look Ma!! I’m writing again!! Haha. I feel pretty good intellectually. I’ve been overwhelmed by a few things lately but I feel as if I can slowly but surely figure them out. I feel like I’m getting my brain back. Not as fast as I want… but it’s getting there. Let’s try to quantify it…On the pain drugs… I probably operated at about 25% or less of my normal, day to day, intellect. Crazy part about those drugs is, you don’t even realize it. It’s like you are in a haze or a fog. Unable to connect thoughts… and then by the time you do, you forget what you needed to connect the thoughts for.Now… I’d say I’m operating at about 80% when the pain is lower (6/10 pain rating). It kinda drops a point as the pain increases.70% = 7/1060% = 8/10And anything 9/10 or above is ER visit where they drug me to sleep.So that’s where I am intellectually. I think. LolEMOTIONALLYdamn I thought this was gonna be a crescendo all the way up to spiritually, but here we go.Emotionally I’m exhausted. Honestly. But there are a lot of highs and a lot of lows here.The lows - I’m lonely. I spend almost everyday inside because I can’t afford to do anything and if I did have the money to do something, it literally hurts to do most things. Especially since I can’t really sit. It would be worth it to go sit at a coffee shop with a friend or have lunch… but I gotta emotionally prepare for the fact that I’m probably gonna suffer pretty bad that night.Emotionally it’s stressful not knowing how everything’s gonna get paid every month. I know it will… somehow… but peace is more elusive than I hope for it to be, sometimes.Also emotionally, my heart is so full about so much.It’s the greatest joy in my life to be Hannah’s dad.I rejoice in the everyday impossibilities that I get to see God do, in me, through me, for me, for others… it’s CRAZY encouraging to me.I have hope. It never runs out. I am thankful. My eyes get teary just thinking about how blessed I am.Perfect Segway to SPIRITUALLYI’m so good spiritually. Oh man. One thing that I can tell you about being on all the pain meds… they won’t let you cry. They would NOT let me get teary eyed … good or bad. My spirit is tender and comforting and warm and full. I wasn’t able to really feel any of that for awhile.I started watching the series Chosen. I’m on season 2. It’s the crowd funded full production version of the New Testament in the Bible. Last night, I’m squirming in pain in bed, watching this… and I’m watching this scene where the disciples are quarreling about something and Jesus had been on the other side of the camp healing people non-stop for nearly a full day. Jesus stumbles back into camp, physically and emotionally and intellectually EXHAUSTED.They are all talking about dumb s**t and here comes God… in human form… wiped out physically. Writhing in pain. Because He spent His time with the people that needed Him. Needed to be seen. To be healed. To be loved.And I wept. I’m blinking away the tears even now because that imagery was so powerful to me. He could have waved His hand over the crowd and all of them would have been healed and He never would have even missed breakfast.But He sits. With each of us. Spends time with each of us. He listens. He answers. Each of us.Every time.So yeah… spiritually, I’m good. I’m really really really good. And I’m seen. And I’m heard. And I’m loved. And I’m healed. And I’m Chosen.Lol… I dreaded starting this post today… now look… I’m tenderized again.See y’all tomorrow.(if you only read… thank you for reading this far! There ARE off the page comments and remarks and prayers that are included in the recorded version today! Just wanted to make sure you didn’t miss them!) Thank you for listening/supporting/SHAREing the podcast.Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] cards can be emailed to:[email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

We're not even out of day two when I recorded this. For my readers out there, this time I recorded FIRST and then had to figure out how to transcribe the message. I really want to keep a written version of the newsletter/podcast whenever I can. Who knows… maybe my voices gets on other people’s nerves as much as it gets in mine. LolI already had a topic for today but then I had something else pop up. Of course. (I love it when this happens).In the near future, I still want to answer the question:“Can I be empathetic to myself?”But I already have something else, today, that is incredible that has happened.I'm a numbers guy. A lot of my faith, a lot of what I believe originated in numbers and the likelihood of or the ability for something to happen exactly on time. It has always been something I'm enthralled by because, you know, there’s timing and there’s perfect timing and that's the way God's timing is described. That it's perfect timing, and that it's always perfect. I have so many examples! I get to SEE so many examples being a faithful person.It's not even like I need to validate my faith, but it's so nice that I get to, you know? It's so nice that I get a chance to have my faith validated, or hear how good God is. Or observe it based on something that's going on in my life, or a testimony of somebody else's life. Those are all really encouraging things, right? For anybody, whatever.With faith, when encouraging things happen, in perfect timing, it makes you feel like you're in the right place. And sometimes we are able to look back and catch it. Or realize that it happened. Getting on that elevator and spilling a drink on the woman that would end up being your future wife.  That’s timing. Perfect. Impossible timing. Right? Or was that “fate”? Fate seems like it gets a lot of God’s credit, but I’m sure God isn’t trippin about it. LolBut there are also really, really specific, and more impossible moments to miss. Clearly, Only God moments. Encouraging moments that happen in faith. I think that they are a result of perfect timing, an example or a display by God that says… SEE… I TOLD YOU. In God’s loving and graceful way, of course. I’m not gonna share a lot of the specific details about this story, because it’s a shared story… and his details are his testimony. But, yesterday or today…a few minutes ago…  my landlord sent me a text message and he said that he had read the newsletter from today this morning, and it was right on time for a few different reasons. I write about my daughter very rarely. But, I wrote about my daughter today. Specifically. He's got a 16 year old daughter who recently turned 16 years old also, and we've had multiple conversations about that in the past.But I'll be honest with you, if there's anybody in the world that has complete permission to be pissed at me. it's this man, right here? It's this human being, my landlord, because of this last insanity season. I mean, he definitely has all the permission in the world. Again, not even gonna get into that, but trust me when I tell you.He sends me a text message today saying the fact that the timing was perfect, because not only did I write my PODcast, which normally I don't, normally… I just publish A podcast version normally.30% of the time… maybe 10% of the time now… I’ll write It first and then record it. He's one of the people that I talked about in the beginning that likes to read the articles versus listen to the published podcast.So just look at the amount of things that have to be perfectly aligned, right there.One, I write it instead of recording it. Two, he's gracious.He’s a gracious, God loving man who has been good to me when I didn't deserve it, and we've been through a ton of s**t, together that's not all been good…and it's been my fault…you know… but still gracious enough to be subscribed to my PODcast and newsletter, and often enough consumes it to where it's not crazy for him to open my podcast and read it.He's got a 16 year old daughter, and I happen to have talked about my 16 year old daughter in the article today… these are all things that change part of the story so much that they could change the trajectory of this.They all have to happen in order to get to this place.And then he happens to read it, and then he happens to be in a situation with his 16 year old daughter…today, after reading that article, where specifically in interaction with him and his kid that involved listening, learning, imagining and being empathetic came into play in real time today with his daughter…That is going through it…That is in the same generation. And! It is as challenging to him, it is, it is, it is to me to navigate parenthood at this age, as is as it is to everybody.I mean, here's the thing…there's another million coincidences that could have happened that I don't even know about, like, I don't know at what point in a day his phone battery was charged or not charged, or if, at that moment, his phone was on the charger, he wouldn't have read that article. It could have gone to spam. You know? There are hundreds…even millions of ways that each story could go, but then for them to end up iin perfect timing…like that… you can't tell me there's not a God.You can't tell me that God's timing isn't real either.And I think that such a good percentage of the reason that I have not lost my ever loving mind in this season is because of opportunities for me to see this kind of timing unfold. It's never gonna be as bad as it was today. Tomorrow's gonna be better.And then I say, it's gonna be better, even the pain, even if the pain is worse, even if the situation is worse.Each day, I get stronger. Each day, I get transformed into more of what God wants me to be.I don't always understand it. I slip and fall down a lot.I make a lot of mistakes.I'm trying.And he sends me this message today just about how we’re trying to be good dads for our daughters and how much he appreciated the timing in the context of the message that I posted today, because it, it was, it was perfectly planned by God for him.How many times does that situation and the timing play out perfectly? And we never hear about it. We never even hear about it. Maybe your day got away from you so fast that you forgot to text the person, but something that they said changed part of your day. And I would say, probably more often than not, we don't hear about how good God's timing is as a testimony, per se.How many times do we miss it? Holy? That’s adding that into the equation by itself.How many times we just are oblivious, you know? It's clearly spelled out and we just miss it.But the timing was perfect, but for whatever reason, we never connect the dots or realize what God was up to.How many times does he cover in our ass when we have no possible way to even know to cover our ass?And I see that enough times.So often, and it's so important, and it's so powerful.It's so powerful to me.Because, you know what? I think a lot of times, when we go through stuff … you know how important is it for us to realize that we're not alone in it?I was in a Dads group in the past, and the beauty of the Dads group was the realization that, “hey, yo! My kid drives me crazy too. Lol … I'm not alone. I'm not the only one that's going through this. This is a human situation that is normal. It feels less lonely to know that there is someone with me in it. It normalizes it. It takes the alone-ness that I feel out of It …it takes the sting out of it.God's timing is like that for our relationship with him. That's him letting us know that we're not alone. That's Him saying, I'm right here love. I got you Even when you don't know I got you… I got you. Even when you think that I'm out to get you. I got you.I promise it, because if you didn't go to the left, you were gonna go right. And if you went right, I may never have seen you again. “But God, the road on the left, it was like an ass whipping all the way!”But you made it to the other side. You didn't make it out of the road on the right, there's nothing left of you.If I didn't, if My timing wasn't perfect, there would have been nothing left of you if I let you continue.So, because I love you.I knew that road was gonna be hard for you.But I would rather that road.I would rather take you on that path and get you to where I gotta get you and purify you.And make you as empathetic as I can possibly make you.So that you survive, so that you can grow this kingdom.So you can make sure that other people know that they're not alone either.I didn't know that writing this morning, finishing it, recording it, posting it, I didn't know the timing was gonna be perfect. I posted it at 2pm and by 5pm it had already been used by God to bless His people.How cool is it that I get to be used that way?You know what I'm saying?How cool is it? I'm not saying that, like, “for me”... but how awesome is it that he uses me flat on my back, literally. In bed…to deliver a message for Him? There's no bigger honor in the world.And I am, I'm thankful for the road that I've been on as bad as it's been, as hard as it's been.I'm thankful for this.I'm not the same person that I used to be.And I'm definitely not gonna be the same person when I'm at the end of this.But my prayer is that I'm just what He wants me to be.I just get to keep pointing to the impossible timing that he has.The incredible blessings that he puts around us, whether we know it or we don't.So, do I believe in God's timing? Absolutely, absolutely.Absolutely.Because God's timing is impossible. And that's where God lives. He lives in the impossible.He lives in a place that cannot be explained by you. You might be able to, to figure out some of the chances…the likelihood of the chances based on the variables that you know that there are, and calculate a probability that it could happen or wouldn't happen.And that can be the proof for you not having faith, or the proof for you having faith, or whatever it is….But God lives in the impossible place, the place that that man can't duplicate.Man might be able to kind of think about how…but man can't take credit for it.I know that I'm in an impossible place. The only way I come back from this, is if the impossible be made possible.By God, period.And it's not like he doesn't do it every day. You know? I'm saying, it's not like it's this big thing for him to do it either. It's not like he just didn't do it earlier today for a conversation that I had with my kid and put into writing… OOOHHH another thing … What if I didn't have the  COURAGE to ask my kid if I could publish the article? She really doesn't like to be talked about. You know… she is 16, of course she doesn't.But what if I just said “you know what, never mind. I'm not gonna post it. I'm not gonna have the conversation with Hannah about it. Instead, when she got back from volleyball today, I was like, “babe, I need to read this to you to see if I can post it.”And I did.I asked permission to post it, right? Because that's what you gotta do at a certain point. Can't take their picture… anymore. They're 16, right? They're in charge of their face. It's their face. All of a sudden, like they made their face. They didn't make their face. I made that  face. Her mama made that face.But anyways. lolI'm already so thankful for this project. God, like, I cannot believe.I cannot believe, the way it's like, you jump started me.I don't know how. You know what, honestly, guys, one of these days I'm gonna talk about the drugs that I've been on. I'm gonna name that one “Off My Meds”Why? Because I've had that name for about a year.Once, when I thought I was off my meds. Another one when, and it just kind of stuck around.So “off my meds” is coming soon. That's basically going to be a conversation about the antidepressants that I was on for a long time…for almost two and a half, almost three years now, because, but it wasn't for the antidepressant factors. It was diagnosed for the the nerve pain. Now, listen, I'm not upset about the antidepressant stuff.I was like, oh, it's an antidepressant also? Awesome. Lol You know?I was like, if it's just for nerve pain…great..but if it was only for the antidepressant properties, I'd still take the s**t. So that's kind of where I've been with that. There’s no shame at all in my game, I've been in a hell hole. And so I have no shame whatsoever around needing help.But anyways… I'll talk more about all that. I'm gonna talk about the way that affected me during that time. One of the things that I noticed that was probably the most noticeable red flag for me to see, is that whenever I was on certain drugs, I wasn't even able to think, much less write. I wasn't able to communicate. I couldn't communicate like this. My thoughts are all over the place. I could not even put together a group of thoughts to podcast or to write.So the fact that I'm able to do this, I think, is probably God letting me know that “your brain is not totally broken from all that other stuff”.It's still working. We're still working.We're gonna still keep getting better. But I really think this project was something that I needed… MY soul needed…Maybe, even YOU needed…I am thankful for it. This is day three. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Day 2It’s not even day 2 yet and I’m already writing. Maybe you could tell because I’m still on the “Empathy” thing. But it’s unfolding. Right in front of me and I have to capture it. This podcast will be written and THEN recorded. Believe it or not, some people actually still like to read. Pastor Wilson, this is for you and all the newsletter READERS out there. I hope you enjoy it.God just revealed something to me about empathy that I had never really considered.Empathy takes Imagination. Matter of fact, I don’t think you can truly be empathetic u less you HAVE an active imagination.Webster’s Dictionary defines Empathy as : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.I mean. The definition literally says all but IMAGINE that you feel it. IMAGINE that you have that awareness. IMAGINE the feelings, thoughts and experiences. If you really contemplate it… how ELSE could you empathize?I looked up the definition of “imagine”, too. Imagine : to form a mental image of (something not present).To FORM a mental image. So to EMPATHIZE with someone, you have to form a mental image of their situation. You have to imagine it. When you begin to imagine it, things become strangely clearer. Actions start to make more sense, tears have substance that’s personally understood by you, pain begins to hurt your own heart… the way theirs must have.When you imagine… when you empathize… your emotions might get caught up in there. Dare I say that this is yet another reason people don’t have empathy? Because it’ll cost them something. Not JUST the emotional effort of imagining their situation, but also the pain that might rub off on you. And not JUST the pain that might rub off on you, but wait for it, the pain that THEIR pain might trigger in YOUR life. And God forbid its unresolved trauma. A persons pain might not look like their pain anymore, it might have the scent of your own hurt. Your own suffering. Your own problems.How do use my imagination to better empathize with the people around me?Well… I don’t know that I have the answer fully figured out but I know that I had to do it recently with my own kid.I don’t share a lot of her life in my writing or speaking but this just seemed to hit the nail on the head as far as a perfect life example of the practice of empathy. I realize that there is a mental conversion that we have to make that essentially allows us to better digest the content we consume.Recently my daughter was “talking to a guy”. They stopped talking the other day. I’m not going to get into all the details of it, but what I will share, is that I found myself in a really tough spot because I’ve never personally had some of these experiences. Things are just very different for her generation. The same way they were different for our parents and our parents parents. There are always generational differences and it can become difficult to understand, much less be empathetic.This generation is more afraid of commitment than any generation before it. There’s a stigma against commitment. They’ve seen US make enough mistakes and they don’t even want to ALLOW themselves to be hurt by them. Relationships, friendships and acquaintances are a screenshot away from destruction… constantly.Honestly, it’s gotta be scary for them. But, before I really “went there” and talked to Hannah to really understand the actions and the mentality, I didn’t even have the tools to use to properly IMAGINE it. And, for one of the first times, I felt estranged from my daughter.After I listened more and more, I could hear the similarities to the hurt that I’ve know. I could hear the disappointment, the embarrassment, the feeling of wasted time. Yeah, maybe it all was packaged differently, and I didn’t like the packaging… but I didn’t let THAT stop be from digging deeper. I had to learn first, so that I could IMAGINE next, so that I could empathize ultimately.And I did.And yeah… I knew he was a goofy little b-boy that didn’t deserve my kids’ time of day… but I also didn’t let MY personal opinion and my JUDGEMENT blockade me from getting to empathy for her.Even in this example, we can see how many places Empathy can be snatched out of our hearts. It’s almost like we have an exorbitantly more difficult time of maintaining empathy because we grasp on to everything else that we can logically understand first.“He wasn’t good enough, anyway”“It’s his fault”You are so great and don’t deserve XYZ”What does any of THIS ⬆️ have to do with the way my kid was feeling in that moment?All my kid needed was for me to listen, learn, imagine and then empathize. So that’s what I did. Especially since there are so many generational differences, it finally clicked when I used my imagination to put myself in her shoes… and then respond from THAT place.Before you offer anything… did you listen?Before you judge anything… did you put yourself in their shoes?Before you wrote them off… did you imagine life’s intricacies ALSO occurring for that person? Yeah it’s easy to have your own perspective and your own coulda/woulda/shoulda’s but… is that what THEY needed… right now?Don't you want to be closer to them?If it was you... wouldn't you want to be heard?Have you ever needed to be heard... seen... listened to?We can do better for each other and truly empathize wot each other if we do a little better at imagining.close with prayer requestsGeneveveTim Kim's dadAndres Banosmy whole familyThank you for listening/supporting/SHAREing the podcast.Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] cards can be emailed to:[email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

10 daysFor the next 10 days, I’m just going turn my turn my mic on and just start talkin. I have to. I’ve been so overwhelmed between health and finances and drugs that should help me feel better but instead make me feel insane… that I just NEED to start SHAREing again. I don’t know what’s gonna come out. It might suck. It might be good. It might be a blessing to me AND you. I don’t know. But for some reason, when I asked God about it, “10 days” flashed across my mind.I think the most important thing is that I start SHAREing again. Even with myself.Today’s episode is about Empathy. Whether you are in suffering or satiation. Maybe that’s gonna be the title. We’ll see.Thank you for listening/supporting/SHAREing the podcast.Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] cards can be emailed to:[email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Lost Days This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I honestly think I’m so bad at writing a teaser to listen to the podcast… especially after I just finished spilling my heart out. I was discouraged AND hopeful in this one… BOTH. so… I hope you like it if you listen. We have a bunch of different ways to follow and engage and support. One of the best ways (My opinion), is to join our discord. It’s a place where you can be anonymous if you want to, share prayer requests, direct message me, read posts, scriptures, encouragements, suggest topics for the newsletter or livestream, etc.. Discord invite link: We have a bunch of different ways to follow and engage and support. One of the best ways (My opinion), is to join our discord. It’s a place where you can be anonymous if you want to, share prayer requests, direct message me, read posts, scriptures, encouragements, suggest topics for the newsletter or livestream, etc.. Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected]: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1Gofundme: https://gofund.me/24edae29Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I don’t even know what to say… except LISTEN… Everything God has to say… is said. I am just beyond humbled and grateful to be a part of this purpose. 🙏🏽We have a bunch of different ways to follow and engage and support. One of the best ways (My opinion), is to join our discord. It’s a place where you can be anonymous if you want to, share prayer requests, direct message me, read posts, scriptures, encouragements, suggest topics for the newsletter or livestream, etc.. Discord invite link: We have a bunch of different ways to follow and engage and support. One of the best ways (My opinion), is to join our discord. It’s a place where you can be anonymous if you want to, share prayer requests, direct message me, read posts, scriptures, encouragements, suggest topics for the newsletter or livestream, etc.. Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected]: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1Gofundme: https://gofund.me/24edae29Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Guys I love y’all and I wanted to come check in, update, apologize. I ask that if you get this…listen. This project is still alive and well… so am I! Let’s get back to it. ❤️If you want to support: Quickpay: [email protected]: $joeldavidbarnes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Hi guys!I’m excited to have my dear friend, Rachel Blau, on this week discussing something I think she’s incredibly gifted at “Sitting With People”. I have learned so much from her about how to walk and sit with people who are going through difficult times in their life and I’m happy to SHARE this piece that she wrote with you. You can read it and/or listen to her read it on the podcast! Don’t forget to like and SHARE this podcast so that we can “teach people how to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy”. Enjoy!“Sitting With People” - Rachel BlauA quick about me, I grew up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. I was raised Christian, but have gone through some recent deconstruction of my faith in the last few years. I believe, praise, and rely heavily on God, but some of my rituals and church practices have changed. As far as my life, I have life experience that includes chronic illness: I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 5. I have a bachelor’s degree in Fiction Writing (that I’m not using). I have been married and divorced. I have proximity to addiction. I have experience with grief and loss. I have worked over 10 years in a Finance job. And I’m currently in my 2nd year of graduate school to earn my Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health and Counseling. And I guess I like to share all of that because we all have varied lives. So I think experience can teach us things, and I guess I want to give you an idea of who I am. I met Joel at church, I’m sure we were working in the background at some event. I’ve worked on the cooking team, prayer team, small groups, I love people. That’s how Joel and I met each other and became friends. When he asked me to write about “how I sit with people,” I realized I wasn’t totally sure how to verbalize it.  Honestly, it’s been a rocky road and I just keep adjusting my process each time. My history of helping started with my family. Then I started doing it for friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. That method resulted in lots of burnout. I used to be a fixer. Tell me your problem and I will be your personal foot soldier in whatever battle you are in. Y’all, this is never sustainable. It will crush you. It crushed me many times. It should not be a surprise to anyone listening, that I am an Enneagram 2, I’m a helper. My unhealthy attempts taught me a lot of ways I should not sit with people, and that's how I improved. Those methods were harming me, maybe I was helping people or fixing things, but I was walking away more damaged. Today my process is based on my needs, my wants, my gifts, and my availability. And that’s why I’m able to do it better now. Anytime I sit with people or reach out, my goal is to just let them know they are loved and that I am thinking about them. That I’m glad they exist. I try to avoid asking for a report or a check-in, because that feels like I’m requiring or asking them to do work. I just want them to feel that they are beloved as they are in the current moment we are meeting/interacting. This takeaway became clear to me after I did lots of therapy and self work. During this process I was able to identify my personal values (kindness and inclusion). Once I was able to define this, it became easier for me to show up wherever I am, in the moment. Like I can adapt, act, think, and pray with these values and goals in mind. I highly recommend you Google values. I know that Brene Brown has a worksheet where you can go through and figure out what your values are. Doing that really helped me clarify my gifts, my skills, and what makes me feel good. And that just made not only helping people easier, but frankly the way I show up in all my different hats in life as a student, as a worker, as a friend, as a sister, as a daughter. Keeping those values in my back pocket just helps me be “me” better. I highly recommend doing value work.Some of the reasons I can sit with people is how I was made. Who I am as a person. One of my spiritual gifts is shepherding. I like organizing and coming around people, and sending love. Taking action so that people feel how much I am loved. And this was present in my fixer days when I was doing this in an unhealthy way. This is something I’ve always been drawn to. I receive direction through people God assigns to me. This can look like listening to a coworker or friend vent something heavy. Or an uber driver, who just wants to share a story. Or my customers who want to tell me about a miracle that happened in their life. Or someone in the prayer hall asking for prayer. Or someone who is hungry and looking for something to eat. God plants them in front of me. Or other times God puts them into my mind. On a daily basis, I probably cycle through thousands of thoughts. These thoughts are based on the input throughout my day. These can be songs, phone calls, social media, texts, reading something, or even just random memories. These things always lead me to a memory of a person. They never seem planned or linked, but I can tell you that every day God puts a person on my heart and mind and when that happens I reach out to them in whatever way I know how. This can mean in-person, a text, or a video, or a phone call, or a social media communication.This process often feels silly to me sometimes. The people that come into my head might be someone who I haven't thought of or talked to in years. But I remember that it’s just a blip. Like a 2 minute act that might get nothing in return. And if so, I’m really not out that much. Other times people respond, with disbelief or relief. “I don’t know how you knew to reach out, but I’m so glad you did. You have know idea what I’ve been carrying.” And sometimes they tell me, and other times they don’t. I’m more or less just staying focused on the delivery of my two minute blips.What comes next is based on what I have available to give. Now my method is just listening. Without judgment. And still deliver the message that I am so glad you are here. I am so glad you told me that hard thing. It sucks. I love you. I say I love you A LOT.  Over the years I’ve released a lot of ownership of the problem and the fixing. This is God’s detailed work and provision. I refuse to even take credit for these things. But it is AWESOME to witness it. When I see the ways God times, connects, and alters the finite details of my own life and other peoples. It reminds me that I could not even moonlight in that arena. It still takes practice though.  When fear gets loud my old fix-it tendencies tend to kick in. I need to tell myself to stop. Prayer and meditation and my own therapist help me process this out so that my responsibility is smaller. More deliverable. Just Blips. I know that the more time I spend reflecting/working with my values, the happier I am. This means the more blips I can spend time delivering, the better I feel! This feels like tapping into unconditional love. It’s magic. It’s Holy. It’s ordered for me to complete. It is my purpose. And it’s way lighter to carry. Being a savior is not my job. That can be Jesus’ thing. In the meantime, I’ll just reflect my values of kindness and inclusivity in my assigned blips.Need prayer or want to connect, reply to this newsletter or email [email protected]#WeHaveToShare This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Hey, thank you for listening to this and being a part of my own personal struggle and journey. I appreciate you more than you know. If you feel compelled to support me and my mission to “teach people to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy” you can show it in a couple different ways!* subscribe to this newsletter/podcast* gift and subscription to someone you know would enjoy it* donate directly - cashapp/Venmo $joeldavidbarnes @joeldavidbarnesThank you!! We’re going to keep going TOO!! Promise!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

November 3rd, 2022 marked the 2 year anniversary of the surgery that changed my life. Two years later… God is still Good. In this podcast, I reflect on the last 2 years and the journey that I’ve been on. Love y’all!! Stay blessed. Hope you get as much out of this as I did. Hey, thank you for listening to this and being a part of my own personal struggle and journey. I appreciate you more than you know. If you feel compelled to support me and my mission to “teach people to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy” you can show it in a couple different ways!* subscribe to this newsletter/podcast* gift and subscription to someone you know would enjoy it* donate directly - cashapp/Venmo $joeldavidbarnes @joeldavidbarnesThank you!! We’re going to keep going TOO!! Promise!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Hey, thank you for listening to this and being a part of my own personal struggle and journey. I appreciate you more than you know. If you feel compelled to support me and my mission to “teach people to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy” you can show it in a couple different ways!* subscribe to this newsletter/podcast* gift and subscription to someone you know would enjoy it* donate directly - cashapp/Venmo $joeldavidbarnes @joeldavidbarnesThank you!! We’re going to keep going TOO!! Promise!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

In this weeks podcast, I start with a Facebook post that I made this past Friday. Below is the original post. Also, I described a game winning series of serves from my daughter Hannah! That video is also included below. (video cred and thanks to her mom, Melissa, for capturing it!)Enjoy the Podcast!https://youtube.com/shorts/ITL-lbv9TvI?feature=shareProud papa 🥰🏐 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

IsolationSee…I gotta write this one out. The last couple, I needed to record with no filter. And that was fine… sometimes I have to turn the firehouse on and let it rip. But… for this entry… since I kinda don’t wanna do it… I have to give myself a bit more of a script to read from. I think this rationale comes from getting to know myself as a writer and/or podcaster. (Interesting personal observation… I shy away from calling myself a content creator and I don’t know exactly why… Maybe it’s too cliche for me? Maybe I’m not feeling extremely worthy.. Not sure, but there’s something there, for sure.)Ahem…. As a content creator… writer … podcaster… as a believer…. it’s super important for me to be honest with myself first. I believe in this so much so, actually, that I’d rather not produce a product (I.e. newsletter or podcast) without it being 100% authentic. You know how hard it is to be authentic and honest when you are in the worst pain of your life everyday? Ugh… lemme tell you about it so I can get back to being honest about what’s to come.I haven’t been able to talk to you guys much in the last month because, quite frankly… I was in too much pain. I legitimately experience pain that makes it too hard to think. I hope you’ve never experienced it, but, the pain that I feel often, is considered to be on the scale of child birth, shingles, tooth pain… but I have it almost everyday. For almost 2 years.A quick breakdown: I had a back injury and a knee injury that I got from working at my job 3 years ago. In order to avoid having to surgically repair my back, they decided to prioritize surgery on my knee first… then aggressively rehab my back. I had that simple meniscectomy surgery on Election Day 2020. November 3rd, 2020. Not only have I not walked since that day, I’ve had building complications from that surgery. My knee feels like there is a double sided icepick in it. So I cannot bear weight on it at all. Pain at that extreme level has triggered a severe pain syndrome that travels from my lower back, under my butt, through my knee and I can feel it all the way in my foot. That pain makes it nearly impossible to sit most days, because it feels like someone’s taken a scalding hot knife and cut a trail from my lower back, through my sit bone, down under my hamstring and pulsating through my knee. I’ve been on crutches so long that my untreated back injury has gotten so bad, that now… I can’t feel my thumb on my left hand and as that numbness spreads, the pain that’s traveling from my neck through my shoulder and down my arms gets so bad that it can legitimately overwhelm my senses so badly that all I can do is sleep. Sometimes, it’s the only time that my pain can be somewhat managed…. Because it’s not really sleeping. It’s just “trying not to be awake”.Ok. I said it. I told y’all what’s been going on. THAT’s why I’ve been quiet and haven’t been able to create or SHARE or livestream or write.“But Joel… that’s totally a fine reason for taking some time to yourself and healing”But I haven’t been healing. I’ve been getting worse. I’ve done everything I can do to heal. I’ve fought lawyers and doctors and work comp to heal. Tooth and nail. And I’ve lost so many battles. And I’ve only gotten worse in the last 2 years. On so many fronts.“But you are trying… and that’s what matters. And sometimes you need to lay low and lick your wounds”And see…that’s what I knew y’all would say. Did I hide behind that? A little?? I don’t know. Maybe. And the only reason I even knew to think about it was because I had a friend the other day say something that I knew I needed to be careful with. She said “you’ve been so quiet, I’m concerned that you are isolating”.Here are some of the thoughts that I had around that conversation and through the last couple months. I’m going to be painfully transparent here…“This is too much.”“I’ve lost too much.”“My health it too deep in a hole to be able to recover back to the way I was.”“My kid deserves more from me.” (Normally this feeling comes in regards to financial things. Most recently I thought about it with back to school shopping. I actually think I’m a pretty good dad but I have a lot of shame that’s built up with not being able to really work and make money in this season)“No, I’m not isolating… people just don’t know what I’m going through. I’m just so sick of talkin about how much bad s**t is STILL going on.”Then, news flash Joel…. You’re isolating! Lol.And… that’s not my purpose. My purpose isn’t to hide. My purpose is to SHARE. You know what I think happened, also? I had such a great couple weeks around that episode called “Angels in my Eyes”, I thought that I had hit a breakthrough point and everything was about to start getting massively better.And don’t get me wrong… the mental space that was created… The hope that flooded my life… the energy and motivation that I experienced was not only perfect timing, it was contagious. But my body isn’t just currently disabled… it’s debilitating. And… as I arrive at this reality… I think I also am realizing that I may have accidentally set an “expectation trap” for myself.I thought I was turning the corner… with everything. I thought that when I got the huge boost of encouragement and provision, that it meant that maybe I was coming to the end of this God awful season. But… maybe I was just in dire need of some encouragement. Maybe God just needed to get me further along in the season so that He had more time to develop me. Maybe I just needed to see my faith payoff again in the last couple years. And I am so thankful for it.And I’m so thankful for this season.Yeah….Still….Even this last month or so, when the pain has been so bad to think… you know what has continuously been affirmed? The less I’ve SHAREd, the more helpless I’ve felt. The more I’ve hidden, the weaker I’ve gotten. Keeping a closed mouth about it has only kept me from asking for the prayer and support that I’ve needed.And you know what? I’m still SO freakin tired of this being my day-to-day reality… and I’m SO tired of how it’s not only affecting me but also my family… but I have to remind myself almost everyday that this isn’t something that I did. This is something that I have regrets around. This is a season of limitations that is redefining my purpose, my empathy, my strength and my legacy. The world is going to be a better place because I have suffered and will overcome. This testimony will be one that’s forged in fire.And all the while, through it all, God gave me the weapons to fight the battles all along. SHAREing is a weapon. One that fights depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, desperation… SHAREing leads to freedom. It leads to moments of clarity and where the weight feels less.I’m so happy that I have people close close to me that are still connected enough to reach out and express the tough concerns. “Isolation” is one of those trigger words that I know can be so dangerous for me. Not only because of all of the natural implications and mental health concerns around isolation, itself… but also because I KNOW that isolation is the polar opposite of my purpose and my mission in life. It’s not how we’ve been created. We’ve been created to do life WITH each other. I know that I’ve been purposed with doing life with people that are in tough spots. I know that I can’t do that, if I’m not SHAREing.I’m thankful for the opportunity to lean into something that’s been really hard for me in the last month or so.I’m hopeful that maybe my ramblings …. My SHAREing helps someone out there.God is good. All the time. What’s crazy is that I’ve never doubted that part… I hope that’s still part of my testimony through it all… I have a feeling that it will be. Hey, thank you for listening to this and being a part of my own personal struggle and journey. I appreciate you more than you know. If you feel compelled to support me and my mission to “teach people to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy” you can show it in a couple different ways!* subscribe to this newsletter/podcast* gift and subscription to someone you know would enjoy it* donate directly - cashapp/Venmo $joeldavidbarnes @joeldavidbarnesThank you!! We’re going to keep going TOO!! Promise!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Aaaaagggghhh…. This title kept coming back to me this week. I am not a fan of the title of my own newsletter/podcast this week. Lol. Normally I don’t even write a title until after I’ve written the piece.This week, I decided to do podcast ONLY because I felt like I wanted to talk to you guys and confess some things without the ability to edit them out… or filter them. This podcast was recorded in ONE take with NO edits.Enjoy and remember… you aren’t alone…* JoelHey, thank you for listening to this and being a part of my own personal struggle and journey. I appreciate you more than you know. If you feel compelled to support me and my mission to “teach people to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy” you can show it in a couple different ways!* subscribe to this newsletter/podcast* gift and subscription to someone you know would enjoy it* donate directly - cashapp/Venmo $joeldavidbarnes @joeldavidbarnesThank you!! We’re going to keep going TOO!! Promise!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

…All The Time.There’s a standard call and response in the church… matter of fact, for this one, it’s probably bigger than the confines of any organization and it seems to have seeped into active AND inactive members of the organized church. One person says GOD IS GOOD and the response is…..Yup. Some of y’all got it but haven’t seen the inside of a church in years. The response is “ALL THE TIME.”God is good.All the time.I mean… it’s true. It can be painfully questionable in some moments. I promise. But it’s still true.Matter of fact… contrary to what many may say, I’ve felt that the deeper my faith got, the more difficult it can be in moments where you KNOW that God is good… and God is active… and God is going to show up “all the time”… but you can’t see Him that day. Or that week. Or that year. Or… for years.Or maybe you get glimpses … but not the full goodness. Maybe you even have a breakthrough… like I experienced on many levels a couple weeks ago… but you still have clouds lingering heavily in your life. I still have some of the worst pain in my life. And God is good … all the time. Even though I haven’t healed… I know He’s still gonna heal me.You know how this train of thought started? A quote got stuck in my head. Honestly I thought the quote was “you aren’t paying me for my 30 minute consultation, you’re paying me for my 30 years of experience.” I had morphed it into a bit of a reflection on my past 30 days streaming. I had the thought that “this isn’t about the 30 days that I’ve been live streaming, it’s a collision course that’s been 30 years in the making for me.”And it is. And it hasn’t been easy. At all.The real quote. (To the best of my knowledge)When we see this quote, we should think about our definition of value. The time spent in school. The time spent learning a trade… learning an art form… learning a craft. We think about the time you’ve PUT IN to GET OUT good results and higher value for your expertise.You know what I don’t think we factor into our definition of value?The pain.The struggle.The suffering.The moments when we don’t know if we’re going to make it. Even though our gut says we are on the right track.The doubt.The uncertainty.And not the glorified “struggle” or the glorified “grind”. I’m talking about the real deal suffering. The s**t that people don’t even want to think about… The stuff that people can’t even truly handle hearing. That part. That part is so important for our transformation and for our evolution and for our value.It’s not normally folded into the formula but I’d venture to say that someone that really goes through it, has a perspective that is invaluable.I can always tell, too. You can feel it in a person. When you vent a little of your story out, you can feel a person who has been through it… and have come out of it… they listen different. They lean in. They interact different. They empathize different.All I really feel like I want to say with this newsletter/podcast is that if you are going through it… you have so much value. You are so important. You are so loved. You have a story to share (one day) that could be exactly what someone else needs to hear.Keep going.You may not see your value today… but God’s plan is so much bigger and better than ours. I’m excited for you to look back and see that “You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.”Side note: for you literal thinkers… although I DO think that survivors of pain and suffering WILL make more money (lol. I just do) I’m not just talking about money here. Sometimes encouragement is a currency that’s ten times more valuable then money. Sometimes hearing someone say “that’s exactly what I needed to hear today” is more valuable than gold. The money will come. Have faith. In the meantime, know that every single thing you are going through has the potential to make you better and stronger. You just have to decide to let it.Don’t give up.I’m praying for you.* JoelHey, thank you for reading this and being a part of my own personal struggle and journey. I appreciate you more than you know. If you feel compelled to support me and my mission to “teach people to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy” you can show it in a couple different ways! * subscribe to this newsletter/podcast* gift and subscription to someone you know would enjoy it* donate directly - cashapp/Venmo $joeldavidbarnes @joeldavidbarnesThank you!! We’re going to keep going TOO!! Promise!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

The Day The Clouds Broke AwayI need to paint a picture… with words… on the canvass of your mind.I can’t write today. It’s weird but I’ve experienced it before. It’s like trying to funnel a firehouse through a straw… too many ideas, too much power and too much of a flood. I’m going to record and just let it flow.I know I have some people who like to read the weekly newsletter.. back to writing (and recording) next week. Enjoy the piece!!If you want to check out the gaming page and see what “RP” is all about, you can check out my Lion’s Mane Gaming page → HERETo give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

The Angels In My EyesI’m gonna tell you a story. You probably won’t have any idea what I’m talking about. Not because you won’t understand the words or the story, but because this whole concept is wildly foreign to most people. It was foreign to me… just 7 months ago. I’m going to teach you a bit about RP.RP is Role-Playing. It’s acting and improv… basically. It’s just done, inside a video game. Matter of fact, there’s an entire group of content creators that solely (or primarily) create video game content within the construct of role playing. To show you how big it is… there are video game content creators that make a full time living at role playing. The most common place to role play is within a Grand Theft Auto server. Servers are called “a city” because it is a map that emulates a real city and players (characters) load into the server (city) and interact with each other in and through different scenes.Think “cops and robbers” but actors in a video game. Most players choose a cop or a “crim” (criminal) to play as. Some players actually have a character that’s a cop AND one who is a crim. They can load in as either… and “act” accordingly.It’s art. No… seriously… you should watch it sometime. Some of these content creators would go toe to toe with any actor on TV or the big screen. I found myself enthralled with the content around January of this year.The content creators live stream their content for people to watch, live, subscribe… very similar to a lot of content creators out there. I started watching video game live streams about mid 2020. I was completely sick of the news… social media.. all of it. And I just needed a break. I watched people who played similar games that I liked or played. I started following a creator named Rasta La Vista. Probably a year or so after I started following him, I saw him start playing in this role play game, in a city (server) called Meta World.I’m going to share a personal journal entry with you in a few minutes and as I read through it, I realized that a lot of it might seem as if I’m talking in code. There’s a different language used when talking in computer game language. Yup. Gamer lingo. I gotta make you hip to some of it … and I’ll do it as I work through my personal entry from June 13th, 2022.Before I do, I’ll explain one key piece of this story and this newsletter. While you are in a serious RP server, you are not allowed to refer to anything in terms “outside” of the server (city). You don’t say role play, you say Romeo Pasta. You might hear someone say that the “pasta was delicious”… that means that there was some really awesome role play (acting). You don’t say that you are lagging in the server… you say that you have a headache. You aren’t “streaming”, you have “body cam footage” or “your contacts in” OR “your eyes on”. Then, in the rare occasion that you talk about people in your live stream…. A lot of people call em “the voices in my head” or something to that effect… but I refer to them as “the angels in my eyes”.The goal of the ‘code language’ is to never break character in the game but to effectively communicate with other characters.This next part was the personal journal entry, edited slightly to make more understandable to any audience. I want to preface this by saying that I had to sort through a dozen different mental, physical and emotional ambushes during this period… this is ONE branch of a very complex emotional season:June 13th, 2022.My Meta World JourneyJanuary 2022-June 13th 2020Sunday, June 5th, 2022 - one of my best friends Drew passed away. Suddenly. Because I’m temporarily disabled, I wasn’t going to be able to make the funeral in Michigan. Crushed.Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday I was broken. Barely left bed. Couldn’t stop crying.Wednesday around mid day I saw that my application for Meta World had been accepted. (You have to write a complex character back story to be accepted into a serious RP server. I had applied a week earlier.)Wednesday night… LATE night. 11/12am I snuck into the server for the first time.~ 1:30am (now Thursday) I go to Zonah (the in-game hospital) because I see a message in the sky that says “EMS on Duty”. I was out of food and drink and was about to pass out. Lol. Also I figured since someone was there, I could talk to them about working as an EMS because I was a paramedic in my last city.Officer Cartwright gives me some garlic Parmesan wings. I know his name because IRL I’ve been watching Meta World for months… matter of fact… I knew I wanted to join Meta World 5 months ago but I had 0 RP experience. Also, I had 0 GTAV experience. So… I did some research and I joined another server. A slower one, but one where I could start to learn the mechanics of movement and driving and ‘push to talk’. Lol. I had NEVER even played a video game using mouse and keyboard.I played in that first city for 2/3 months… just learning the basics. I wouldn’t even let myself APPLY for Meta World until I didn’t look like a total bot (newbie) in the game. I KNEW that I could master the interactions… before my injury, I ran nightclubs, opened restaurants across the country and had recently shifted to ministry.I love people. Deeply. And in my soul. But I couldn’t join Meta until I had some of the basic skill sets of the game under my belt. The level of talent in the city was too high to not do my best to be ‘smooth’ with it.I’ve been watching the incredibly talented cast, including Rasta (Malik/Julius/Big Smoke), Townsend (B Ditty, DeShaun, Trey Trey), (Lil) BIG Jada (I didn’t know her stream name yet), Jeannie (also Dr. Mel), Primetime (Officer Foley and (RIP) Ant of yellow gang) and ShowMe Gaming (Commissioner Munny) … just to name a few.I was really really excited when I watched the whole story unfold of Kryptic and the Y8 joining the city. I instantly knew it was going to be good for the city but I had no idea that Kryptic was going to turn into one of my all time favorite RP streamers. Watching him was what tipped the scale for me. He seemed to seamlessly fold his personality into his characters and no matter what… stay positive and have pure fun. I gained the confidence to fill out the app and develop my character’s backstory.Rewind back to November 3rd, 2020 (yup Election Day). I had a knee surgery that went horribly wrong. I haven’t walked without crutches and excruciating pain running from my left lower back through to my left foot. Daily, I have had to be in bed… almost all day, every day… for 19 months. Chronic pain, depression, anxiety… like I would never wish on my worst enemy. Constant.I got into gaming and then streaming, to take my mind off of pain.When I couldn’t game because I couldn’t sit (which is STILL most of the day) I watched streams. I’m a B… maybe B+ Call of Duty player. And I was getting bored of it… honestly. It felt like it was draining me and I was already weakened enough.That’s when I discovered Meta World.Right now, It’s been 1 week since my friend Drew passed. I didn’t have enough money to pay June rent (still haven’t and it’s now 6.27.22). My daughters birthday was this past Saturday June 11th. I couldn’t afford to even get her anything for her birthday. Work comp disability doesn’t pay anything. Depressed. Broken. Anxious about so much….I snuck into Meta World.On my way down the hallway at Zonah, to find a doctor, to see if they are “hiring” EMS, I run into a character I’ve come to really enjoy while watching Meta. She asks me if I’m alright (because I’m trying to fix my voice box and I’m standing in the middle of the hallway like an idiot). I get it to work.Me: Yeah I’m good. Hey, What’s your name?Her: I’m Big Jada CuzFor those of you that don’t know, “Big Jada” is a character in this city (server) that is a kid character with an adult personality. Almost all other characters are adult characters, btw. She is a hilarious ‘menace’ to anyone who crosses her, her family, or friends. It’s MORE than entertaining to watch her role play in the city. Don’t call her ‘baby Jada’ or you might get a bat to the knees quick! Lol. The actress’ streamer name is QueenRnBia and she’s a wildly talented creator.It’s been all laughs and funny interactions since that exact moment. She randomly blessed me with $80k (in-game money. Lol) … took me to get me a car. The next day, when I loaded back into the game, she CALLED me to see if I was good and told me to go get my car upgraded “on her”. She was like a ‘welcome wagon’ into this foreign city.Dr. Mel (who has NO idea that I know who she is…still) has been really nice to me. She has noticed the “hard work” and given us bonuses and even had to “go to bat” for us when we get disrespected. Everyone has been super fun to role-play with (for the most part. Hahaha).It’s been… exactly what I needed… on one of the darkest days of my life… in the hardest season of my life.I just wanted to write this all down because I don’t wanna forget how good God was to me this week. I was already destroyed and in the worst pain of my life before Drew passed away. It was completely unexpected and something broke inside of me. I was actually scared for a few days, that maybe… maybe this was too much. Maybe I might not make it through everything I’m going through … and now more?But then I loaded up a frickin video game…And I’m so thankful that I did. I’m so grateful that, after months of “practicing”, I finally made it home. To my new city.Meta WorldSammy Jackstone, EMS, is me. Joel Barnes, except Sammy is healthy and pain-free and can walk and jump and sit. Lol. Sammy is a little bit of hood and a little bit of hood. A helper. A connector. A sharer. I know EMS is a tough character to develop. Especially for content creation. But I’m up for it. I have something to create again. I have a place to interact with humans again. If I can make streaming make some money for the crib… oh man. What a huge blessing that would be. But… I’m writing all of this because it has already been such a huge blessing to me. I’m gonna make sure that every person I run into in the city has as much fun with Sammy as we can. He’s already paying it forward. In-game, he’s given away 6 cars and almost $850k of money. Now he’s picking and running with the ‘welcome wagon’ of Meta World mantle. He loves meeting with and interacting with the new people, especially.Why?Because you never know what someone is going through Cuz. 🥲Jada was definitely an “Angel in my eyes” or ‘in my stream’. Since then, I’ve met Gabriel, Wolfe, Pete, Sky, Deebo and a slew of other characters that I get to interact with and that recognize Sammy every time I go into this game world. You don’t realize the power of walking in the door and people knowing your name until it’s absent for a few years. This injury has kept me from doing much and from leaving my house since when the pandemic hit.I named this article this morning. I was in the city late night into the morning because my boy “Gabe” had had a rough day IRL and just came into the game to have a little fun and “vibe out”. I was about to “fly out” aka “get off the game” right before he came in but I stayed. I’m glad I did. Not only did we laugh our asses off multiple times in the shift (including once where I ran a cop over with his own 6x6 truck while doing donuts in the street as he aimed a class 2 at me … clip coming soon), but then, another Angel in My Eyes popped up.This in-game character named Zae came up to me and introduced himself. One of THE most fun parts of gta role play is that you HAVE to Role Play everything out. Anything that your character knows, has to be acquired knowledge from iN-Game. Anyways… he introduced himself and pointed to the sky and said “I’ve been in your eyes before and I just wanted to come meet you.” I quickly realized that he was someone who was actually a follower of mine in my stream and you could hear the excitement in his voice around meeting “Sammy from EMS” in his voice. It was so dope… he’s actually liked, followed, shared and even sent stars to my stream. He showed me his new cars and told me about his house and we plan to hang out soon.He’s one of the “angels in my eyes”.Another guy loaded into the game last night on EMS and I had never seen him before. About mid-shift, he says “hey man I was there when you hit that level up bro. Congrats! I’m hoping to get there one day soon, too” It was completely in character and within the context of RP and what I realized that he was an Angel in My Eyes when I reached the point where my stream can be monetized.I met a guy in-game last night that’s from Australia, y’all. He was an “Angel in my eyes” one night and he said that he was ‘interested in becoming EMS and was watching my stream to get pointers’. Listen… ain’t nobody interested in doing EMS in an role play server. Lol. But somehow he was… and somehow he found my content… and he was supporting it AND learning from it. And now he was standing in front of me, letting me know that his application got accepted and he needed to talk to a doctor to interview. His in-game name is Kyle. Sammy welcomed him to Meta World and slid a little cash in his pocket to get a car.All of these people from this imaginary world have been Angels In My Eyes. People in my stream. Characters. Followers. New Friends. People that find Sammy funny. People that are happy (mostly) to hang with Sammy in this video game. This server. This city.Like I said in my journal entry… it’s been a blessing. You never know what someone is going through.Here’s how I want to close ….God sees YOU. YOU… YOU…I got blessed with a video game world to walk into when I can’t WALK right now. You hear me? My little brother tuned in one day and watched, and we talked later that night after he saw me RP for a couple hours. He said… “it was just so good to see you be you. It was so special to just see you walking Joel” And he broke down crying… he knows, just my mom and the rest of my family knows, how hard and painful and stressful this season has been and we both just sat there and cried for a minute. Because it was like was got a little bit of hope back from this character Sammy Jackstone. So much of the last couple years have been darkness… it’s just nice to have some joy.Open your mind, set aside your expectations, and allow God to take WHATEVER He wants to use in your life to bless you. It felt embarrassing for a long time that I found so much of an escape with gaming. I felt people scoffing at it and/or laughing about it like it’s some childish thing. But yet… we brag about a hangover? Or how high we got? Or how much much we spent? They are all coping mechanisms of some kind. I’m totally fine that my coping mechanism is super nerdy. Especially since it’s been mentally and emotionally encouraging for me.Don’t allow shame to creep into the thing that God wants to use to make you whole again. That’s just the devil tryna run an interference play.Thankful to get to watch live streams and see the amazing content creators out there.Thankful to get to RP a digital version of myself and create this character to push the limits of what’s been done before.Thankful that I get to do it with such talented creators.Thankful that the stream is now monetized and I can actually earn a few bucks for the family… finally.I’m thankful for the “Angels in My Eyes”, (both characters in-game AND people in my stream) that are encouraging me to be a better version of myself every day.Finally … thank you to Townsend and Boogie and the whole admin team at Meta World for y’alls commitment to such a quality server and product. Your work and creation and dedication to the craft is not going unnoticed. You are creating a beautiful sandbox for creators to play and create in. Thank you. I can only imagine how many stories are similar to mine but they just aren’t as long winded as I am. 😂ok… Last last last… I wanna thank EVERYONE who has supported me. Financially, prayerfully, emotionally… whatever. Thank you! Renee, I got this PC because you supported me. Ma, you already KNOW what you’ve done, thank you. Rachel, Jodie, Lauren, Jerome, Christi, Andrea, Nacho, Anto, Mateo, Zoie, Dre, O the Fox’s… honestly… just thank you. To all of the people who subscribe to this newsletter, seriously… this commitment to write every week has saved my life… thank you. If you are one of my gamer people and you had no idea I was a writer and pastor, thank you for getting this far in the newsletterIf you wanna follow or see (or are curious about) the gaming stuff, you can follow the gaming page HERE. Remember, it’s 18+ acting. lol BEWARE of the language or adult situations!If you want to support this weekly newsletter or me, see below. I appreciate it all! I DO NOT take it lightly and I WILL NOT quit. I promise!To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

A Father’s Day gift… from our Father.Today we’re celebrating Father’s Day here in the U.S. Happy Father’s Day to all the Fathers out there. I’ve had the honor of being a dad now for 15 years. My Hannah Bear just turned 15 years old last week, and I’m not going to lie, I’ve watched fatherhood make a significant improvement in the last decade and a half.If you are old enough to remember it, try to think back on fathers 15/20 years ago. I can’t say that a TON has improved in the world during the same stretch of time, but dare I say that fatherhood has?Many people don’t know that I’ve spent a significant about of time in the last 16 years studying and consulting on social media usage. Matter of fact, I started a social media consulting company in 2008… literally, before anyone had done it or even recognized that it was going to be such a significant influence on our lives. I may have been “ahead of my time” but the recession of 2008 was REAL My little business sputtered and failed because the last thing people were spending money on was training… much less on a completely new concept called “social media”.Twitter had been born in 2006 and we used it for every bar, nightclub and restaurant that I ran. What I realized was that more than any business communication or practical use, we could actually use social media to spread some really good news and examples for people. If you’ve ever followed me on social, you know that I talk about 3 major things…. My God, My Kid and my current interest. That could be a business or hobby OR, recently, that’s has included a lot around my health journey/struggle.It wasn’t popular to share stuff about fatherhood when social media started back in the day. It just wasn’t. It was more popular to show pics of what you were eating than it was to show you being a dad. Seriously. It sounds weird because it has come SO far since then. I truly believe that because it’s been so widely accepted to show off being a good dad, that it’s actually HELPED dads be better dads!I’ve searched high and low and I haven’t found a ton of research done on the impact of social media on fatherhood. What I HAVE found is gobs of research on the impact of father’s involvements in their kids lives. Matter of fact, you can tell that something shifted in the last 20 years because in the 2006 census they started including questions about fathers and their proximity to their children. The research overwhelmingly shows that a fathers involvement in their kid’s lives reaps a plethora of benefits.Today we know that children with an involved father have a better chance at a successful and happy life. If you wanna see the research, it’s fascinating and here’s the link for some.Here’s what I felt extremely compelled to communicate with you today.Whether you have a father who is active in your life or not, you have a Fatherhood Legacy that’s already been laid for you.Way before social media… way before any studies about fatherhood involvement… way before researchers could draw a straight line from the fatherhood activity in a child’s life, directly correlating to the success and happiness of their children…. God made an example of himself.The most “popular” scripture of all time is John 3:16 and it says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”I know the Holy Trinity might be a bit confusing to some, but I want to explain it a little bit and also attempt to reveal a bit of the love and legacy that God created as a model for us.Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 3 in one. The Trinity.In the Christian faith, we refer to God, first, as a Father. The Old Testament focuses on the portrayal of God the Father. There are some very generous moments, there are some very trying moments, there are some moment that can feel confusing as a demonstration of love. The first part of the Bible largely illustrates a people struggling to get back into the grace of God. The Old Testament also focuses so much on “the law” that it can often be misconstrued as God being a Father that doesn’t want His kids to have any fun.If you are a Father, can you relate? Have you ever set rules for your kids outta love? To protect them? To keep them safe? Have you ever seen your kids rebel against it? If you have a kid that’s 12 plus, there’s NO way you haven’t experienced this. Lol. Matter of fact… if you have a kid that’s 3 or older, I know you have. They don’t CARE that they are gonna get a tummy ache, they only want to eat 14 popsicles. Period. It doesn’t matter that you know better and want to keep from cleaning up regurgitated popsicle juice all over the back seat of the minivan.That’s the Old Testament. That’s a glimpse of The Father. If you remember nothing else, know that God loves you so much that He sets limitations to keep YOU safe and away from puking popsicles all over the place. Lol.Then, we have The Son. The prophecy of the Son coming, was foretold throughout the Old Testament but He arrives in the New Testament. His name was Jesus. John 1:1 says that in the beginning, was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. 2: He was with God in the beginning.In other words, when God turned darkness into light, and he formed the earth and the moon and the stars and creation… Jesus was there. He was God and He was with God simultaneously.But now… as we heard back in John 3:16, God took on a human form and came to earth to walk with us. That desire to be reconnected with our Father was about to be made possible again.Quick side note: I keep saying “connected to the Father again” because In The Beginning, when God created man and woman and animals and every living creature, we were perfectly connected to God. There was no shame, no pain, no hurt, no disappointment… we just walked freely and nakedly with our Father. We were separated from Him through the disobedience of Adam and Eve in the garden. They were told not to eat of a certain tree and they figured that they knew better than God and they would succumb to the temptation of the devil in the form of a snake. They immediately felt shame… and separation…. And fear… and pain…This was the separation and in accordance with the law that was established in the Old Testament, the only way back to God was through sacrifice and offerings. So what did the Father do? To show His love for His human children?He sent His Son. A perfect human. The only one to ever walk the earth and to be free from sin. And He sent Him, knowing exactly what we’d do to Him. He knew that we would see the wonders and the miracles and still not fully get it OR accept Him. He knew that we’d question Him and ridicule Him and eventually.. we’d kill Him. We’d beat His son beyond recognition. We’d nail Him to a cross. We’d bleed Him out in the company of murderers and thieves. We would ultimately sacrifice… the perfect Son of God.The Father knew that this was the only way to make a way for His earthly children to have a way back to Him.Listen. I won’t let you take a picture of Hannah if I don’t know you. You understand me? Clearly I am not Godliness because I could never imagine sacrificing my child. Matter of fact, there’s another story in the Bible where a man, Abraham, was called to sacrifice his son (Isaac) after a hundred years of trying to have a kid… and God tested his faith with the instruction to sacrifice his child. God would ultimately rewards his obedience with another sacrifice to offer… but… I have a hard time knowing if my Own faith is strong enough to even CONTEMPLATE giving my child up for any reason.But God…But your Father….Sent His son. To earth. To live a perfect life. To give the perfect example. To make the ultimate sacrifice.For you.So that if YOU believe… YOU can live forever.So that YOU have a way to talk directly to Him. Any time and in any moment. So that you are not alone. So that nothing can defeat you. So that nothing can consume you.That’s a Fatherhood Legacy. That’s the perfect example of pure love and sacrifice for the good of anyone who will believe. For anyone who will follow and heed the example of love and empathy that has been modeled before us.The law was made human and made vulnerable and real for us to see and touch and experience up close. A sacrifice was made… a Father’s heart was broken… for you.The story couldn’t have been made perfect without the sacrifice. The suffering and the heartbreak turned to joy because in just 3 days, Jesus got up, rolled away the stone, and walked out of the the grave. Human death HAD to be defeated for us to be able to KNOW that He was really the Son of God.When Jesus dipped back to Heaven, as promised in John 16:7 (“But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.”) He sent the Holy Spirit to take His place here in earth with us. Notice that He calls the spirit an Advocate… he’s a fighter FOR us. For YOU. And for ME. He’s a spirit that watches over us in our darkest moments and in our finest hours. I could babble about the Holy Spirit but my favorite thing to remember is that, even if I don’t have the words to speak my prayers to God, the Spirit of God relays my needs to Heaven and they are answered.“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:26‬ ‭NIV‬‬I could easily just have said that the legacy that God gave us on earth was the sacrifice of His Son and the gift of the Holy Spirit to comfort us moving forward. Even though I explained it in brevity, I hope that we can take some things away as lessons for how to leave our own children with a healthy and loving legacy.Fathers, continue to sacrifice for your kids. They will see it and they will appreciate it. Whether it’s sacrificing your time or energy or even making the sacrifice of comfort to connect to your children with love and empathy… do it.Continue to give them the ways to navigate the world and continue to vet it with the truth and to deliver it with love.Take the example that we’ve talked about today. Set the rules. Be close to them in mind and spirit. Be gentle. Be loving. Be the example that you’d have them show up as in the world.We’ve got the blueprint. We just have to use it.Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”‭‭This can be your legacy for your family. You have to go first. You just have to believe and accept that you Father in heaven, sent and sacrificed His Son for you to have eternal life. Spoiler alert… I’m pretty sure you’ll never be asked to make a sacrifice as big as His and I’m also sure that, even if/when the road gets hard, you’ll be able to call on the Legacy of God in the Holy Spirit.All of us who believe and spread this good news get to become the legacy of our Heavenly father.To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Your regularly scheduled program… Nevaeh Bravo, 10 - her grandmother is grief stricken by her lossJacklyn Jaylen Cazares, 10 - her father stated that he’s comforted because he knows that she would have been brave for the other kids in her classroom during the attack.Makenna Lee Elrod, 10 - she used to leave cute notes around the house for her family to findJose Flores, 10 - celebrated being on the honor roll on Tuesday before the attackEliahna Garcia, 10 - loved to dance and play sports. Family was very important to herIrma Garcia - a 23 year teacher at Robb Elementary that was murdered in the attack.Joes Garcia - Irma’s husband. He died on Thursday from a heart attack as a result of grief. Jose and Irma leave behind 4 children. They were set to celebrate 25 years of marriage.Uziyah Garcia, 8 - his grandpa described him as the sweetest child I’ve ever known. Grandpa was teaching him how to catch a football.Amerie Jo Garza, 10 - a daddy’s girl. Her dad pleads that we don’t take life for granted and urges us to hug our family.Xavier Lopez, 10 - The life of the BBQ. Loved dancing and doing tiktoks with his family.Jayce Carmelo Luevanos, 10 & Jailah Nicole Silguero - Cousins who lost their grandpa 2 weeks ago. This family describes them as angels. Jailah asked to not go to school on Tuesday. Her parents said that it seemed as if she seemed to sense that something was going to happen.Tess Mata, 10 - She was described as bubbly and wanted to be famous. Her father was at the school during the attack and had to be restrained from going into the school.Maranda Mathis, 11 - 4th grade. Her brother, a second grader, was in the school as well, but was uninjured.Eva Mireles, 44 - a teacher for 17 years in the district. Her husband is a district police officerAlithia Ramirez, 10 - a talented artist who helped her parents with her siblingsAnnabell Rodriguez, 10  - cousin to Jacklyn Jaylen Cazares. Both were in the same class at Robb.Maite Rodriguez, 10 - “she was charismatic. She was goal driven. She was ambitious. She was determined. She was focused. She was competitive. Smart, bright, beautiful, happy.” Her mother wants you to hear that so that her daughter or any of the other children don’t become “just another face”Alexandria Aniyah Rubio, 10 - at an award ceremony that day, she was recognized for getting straight A’s and getting the “Good Citizen” awardLayla Salazar - every morning, as he drove his daughter to school, he would play "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns 'N Roses and they'd sing along.Eliahana Cruz Torres - her grandparents along with dozens of other parents and grandparents had to wait for 10+ hours to find out if their kids were killed in the attackRojelio Torres, 10 - His mother described him as a very “smart and loving child”If you haven’t imagined…. Why?If your heart hasn’t been ripped out of your chest… how?These are our babies.If you have only had a thought and a prayer and while you were “down on your knees” and you didn’t ask God for a tangible action to participate in... what’s stopping you?If you have made this about logic… we can reread those names.If you have not thought FIRST, how do we protect our babies at all costs…. who would it take to die? Your kid? Does this have to hit as close to home as your own family for you to actually empathetically “go there”?I can’t even look at my kid since Tuesday without feeling a sting in my heart for those families that will never be able to look at their kids again. The grandparents with a hole in their heart. The tight knit 20,000 person community that’s been completely destroyed by this tragedy. First responders who have to collect the little bodies of our babies… I cannot stop thinking about it. It’s been overwhelming to me… to be honest. I’ve had a horrible week. I mean… gut wrenchingly hard. Incredibly financially stressful. Exceedingly painful. Mentally challenging.  And it is NOTHING in comparison to what these families are going through. Nothing. Matter of fact, I’d go through every single minute of pain, every single minute of depression, every single minute or the last 2.5 years, HAPPILY if I could guarantee that my little girl would be safe from harm. Any one of those parents/grandparents/friends in Uvalde would do the same.I found myself checking Facebook a lot this week. A lot. That might not sound like such a big deal, but for ME, in this season… it is. It may seem like I’m active on social media, but I am not. I have put myself in “protective custody” from social media in this season. Honest reasoning… I’m just not strong enough sometimes. I need to control what goes into my soul and one of the ways I’ve had to filter out the toxicity of the world has been for me to avoid social media.For some reason, I was checking it a lot this week though. You know what I kept looking for? SOMEONE to say “protect our kids at all costs.”Thoughts and Prayer AND protect our kids at all costsGuns don’t kill people, people kill people AND protect our kids at all costsIt’s harder for me to get crutches approved through insurance than it is for me to get a weapon made to kill the most people efficiently AND protect our kids at all costs.Protect our children. Even at the cost of a liberty that was established on December 15th, 1791. That’s 229 years ago… when the right to bare arms meant a single shot musket and gunpowder and a 5 minute reload time and established against the backdrop of the threat of British tyranny.Gun rights AND gun reform. At all costs.I’m not ignorant enough to think that there is an easy solution. Especially when all I see… per usual… is people on both and ALL sides avoiding empathy. Turning our eyes back to our regularly scheduled programming versus trying to LISTEN to each other to PROTECT OUR CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS.I can’t get past this part. I still can’t get past this point.I started thinking that I had to make a statement this week… I guess that’s the pressure of ministry, right? People look to you for an example, to a certain degree, of how to feel, think, move… My spirit only asked what will You have me DO God? And I could only lament. I could only cry for those families. I could only dial into the people and the families OVER the details and the policies. That’s all I could do…I kept getting lost in the weeds of the details… and the time it took to storm the building … and the gun used… and the lack of empathy in peoples posts … and the mental health… and the YEAH ALL OF THIS MATTERS but the BABIES.I have a tattoo on my right wrist. It’s the WWJD letters. I tattooed it so many years ago and it’s STILL to this day, the question that, when I’m the most lost OR the most found… I rely on. What would Jesus do?Last night, it felt like God was whispering this scripture.Mathew 19:14“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.””I looked the scripture up and … obviously… at face value, it was clear. Jesus wanted to protect the babies. They are important. Duh. Right? That’s what You mean God? I mean… God… that’s obvious. Right?Yes. But. I can’t remember the last time a scripture that I’ve studied didn’t mean profoundly MORE than the words that I read. So I studied it.You know why Jesus even had to say this? There’s a beauty in the simple truth that Jesus spoke. I agree. But HERE… in this moment. You want to know why?In Matthew EIGHTEEN (right before chapter nineteen and written in close proximity) in verse  1, the disciples ask Jesus “who then, is the greatest in the Kingdom  of Heaven?” Mathew 2-5, “He (Jesus) called a little child to him (which, in and of itself is profound because in this day and age, women and children were not valued as highly as men… so for Jesus to use a child as the subject of His message, it was controversial and challenging to the established law) and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:2-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬So… Jesus had JUST stressed the importance of children and where to place our children as the example of humility that God wants from us. He had JUST SAID IT.Then back to Chapter 19. Picking back up one verse before the one I shared earlier. Verse 13 - “Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬Wait… they rebuked them? They said “kids get outta here. We’re doing grown folks things. We’re talking policy and strategy and mental health and thoughts and prayers and we’re building a children’s ministry so that we can attract more parents because parents tithe… we’re debating about YOU as if you are insignificant and that we know it all. We yell over each other because we are older and wiser and we MUST get OUR point across. Step aside children. Grown folks are talking.”“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.””‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬We like the scripture “Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭KJV‬‬ That one seems to make sense… I’m the adult, I teach the kid. But if we are not protecting our kids at all costs, it’s blatantly obvious that we are not cherishing them the way God has intended for us to.I realized two things this week.* we are so so far from making our children the priority that they deserve to be… and it’s heartbreaking* before anything, each of us on every side need to reevaluate our motivation, our empathy and our love for each other.It’s no wonder our country is in such chaos, calamity and disconnection. We exist in the hubris that protecting our kids at all cost is a debatable topic.May I encourage you to begin to lead with more empathy? Do you think our kids are worth it enough for you to hear something you might not agree with and then, for the babies, consider how we can begin to dissolve our differences into a solution? If you “just can’t” or you “just aren’t” willing to listen… more of our babies will die. Take a minute and look at each face in the picture of the victims from Uvalde. Imagine ONE of them is the face of your kid or your sibling or your cousin or your friend. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.Many of the stories about the individual victims of Tuesday’s tragedy were found here in this ABC News Article This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

The other day, I was talking to a friend about ministry and they said “now that you’ve dipped your toes in the water…” Meaning … into ministry.You ever been in a conversation and as soon as something is said, you can’t even hear anything else? And the last words kinda echo in your mind? “Now that you’ve dipped your toes in the water” … you mean… of ministry? You mean me? Joel? Toes in? Oh naw… you must be thinking about someone else.I definitely had to set that straight in the conversation, but not because I wanted credit for more. I think that would be prideful. But… I had to set that straight because it’s the biggest part of my life. If I’m being TRULY honest, ministry is my whole life. I’m all in. But, what I realized in a moment like that, is that my full immersion into one-on-one, real s**t, daily ministry… that doesn’t ever stop… that doesn’t have a set schedule … that doesn’t have a 501c3 or a paycheck… that walks with people DAILY… isn’t just dipping my toe in. Imagine if someone said to Jesus “now that you’ve done a few miracles” you should focus on your ministry plan. Or, “hey Jesus, I know that all you talk about is a way back to Your Father but, have you filed for your 501c3? I mean. What are the metrics around how many lives You’ve saved? Can we put a running total up of how many people have committed their lives to… um… You… in quarter 1 of the last calendar year?”Hell naw I’m not comparing myself to Jesus… BUT… what we’ve made “count as ministry” is kinda b******t. Not kinda… it’s 100% b******t.I know that you’ve gotta do certain things to procure support from people. I get it. I mean… I had a friend… a real friend, tell me one day that she couldn’t really support me until I had a 501c3 because she needs the tax write off. That’s why I’ve been clear that, at this stage… what I’m doing and the way people support, is directly supporting ME. Yes, I have plenty expenses for Share. The Ministry. But I absorb those and I use the support money to literally keep the lights on and put food on the table. We are SO far off from there being even a dollar over monthly bills. And I’ve got no doubt that I’ll have all the appropriate paperwork filed if/when the time comes that there is “surplus”. To put that in immediate perspective… I only collect enough monthly subs on the newsletter to get an order of groceries one week out of the month.But I’m off topic.I do full time ministry. And I have been doing full time ministry since the week I was called into ministry when I was on my 2nd mission trip. I want to tell you what my calling looked like and… while researching for this piece, I just discovered something that brought me to my knees.October 27th, 2018. We left Chicago around 6am and headed to San Salvador, El Salvador.This was my second mission trip. First time I was honored to lead one. This trip was a life changer. I thought the first mission trip changed my life, but this trip would be the trip where my roots took hold in a different way.God… what a cool vision you gave me to share. Imagine a tree for a second. A tree has roots from the second it sprouts from a seed. That seed stays hidden underground until it is able to break through the ground and it becomes a sapling. The tree grows and grows and survives the elements until it’s an adult tree. God designed a tree to bend to the force of the wind in its early stages. It becomes rigid enough withstand the wind BY enduring the wind (listen… that’s a whole sermon right there but imma spare y’all). The tree grows and the roots go deeper and deeper until there is a point… where the roots have gone so deep that fewer and fewer wind gusts have the ability to uproot it. Even though it’s become more rigid, it’s roots have made it to withstand.My second trip to El Salvador was the trip where my faith crossed the threshold to withstand. My calling only came from the seed that was planted, nurtured, weathered and worn.Prior to the trip, I got an email… I was in Lake Tahoe with my daughter and her family. Matter of fact, my 40th birthday was celebrated on that trip. Before we went out to explore one day, I opened my laptop and had received an email from the coordinators at Enlace of our trip. “Is there anyone in your group that would like to give a word at church that first Sunday when you arrive?”I audibly said “oh no” and I closed my laptop. That could have been the end of the story BUT Hannah’s Uncle, Brian, heard me… and he curiously asked “what’s up? What just happened?” And I had to tell him what the question was. He got SO excited FOR me. Lol. I hadn’t fully even decided if I wanted to do it and, In Only God fashion, he and I went back and forth for about an hour about teaching the word and different styles of messaging and delivery… my “oh no”, which was pure fear, because I knew in that moment that God was telling me that I had to preach… and I had never preached anything.. ever. But, by the end of this conversation with Brian I knew what I had to do.We arrived in El Salvador and I had written my first message. Sunday, I taught my first message on a small stage at a small church in the hills of El Salvador that had to be translated sentence by sentence into Spanish. Speaking with a translator interpreting it can be nerve wracking but somehow, the Holy Spirit, the ultimate translator allowed me to teach a message as if I spoke Spanish fluently. There were moments where I even corrected the translator that were hilarious. And we undulated between English and Spanish and it was beautiful. And mind you… I’m not talking about it being beautiful because “a good word” came out or the fact that people enjoyed it and told me that it was beautiful… I barely remember what happened and I have the sermon written and saved so I know what was said, but the feeling that I FELT was beautiful.People started calling me ‘pastor’ that day. You know… I had never thought of that? I never thought past delivering that one message. All I cared about was listening to what God was giving me and not messing it up. Lol. I just didn’t want to get in the way of WHATEVER He had to say that day. So when people started calling me pastor… I was like “oh… ok”. I mean… I came out here to work, so let’s work. And we worked. Harder than we’ve ever worked before in our lives and we shared community, both with the team that went out there and the community of Salvadorans. Everyone kept calling me pastor. And every time it happened I’d be like “aw… naw…” and I’d shrug it off. And I kept workin.Normally we do a trip ‘wrap up meeting’ on that Friday after a week of work but we stayed out late exploring… so our final meeting was Saturday. November 3rd, 2018.I hope that some of you are wondering how a calling is delivered. Does God part the sky and sun rays shoot down and there’s a harp and a deep voice in the sky?Our trip leader Franco asked us 3 questions and we were to answer them in a random order.What was an experience that you had that was profound while you were here? Who will you continue to pray for when you go back home? What’s the thing you are taking back with you?I wrote mine down in my journal because I didn’t want to forget the first thought I had when I heard each question. I quickly jotted the answered down and closed my notebook. Also, I wanted to be tuned in to hear what others were saying. Person 1, 2, 3, and 4…. All go. Then someone calls on me.“My experience that was my highlight was when I prayed for Inez and she said that when I held her hand, it felt like electricity and water were flowing from me and into her. What she doesn’t know is my mom always referenced the Holy Spirit being like “living water” and I knew that experience was blessed.”“I’m definitely praying for Pastor Jose and his wife Mari. The work they do to lead a church with, not only restricted resources but geographically they sit on the crest of a volcano lake, so their community has a hard time even GETTING to church. Yet they stay motivated and dedicated to this mission. I’ll be praying for them.”The thing I’m taking back with me is…. And I looked down on my page and I had written, in all caps: “I AM A PASTOR”This is the page that I tore out of my journal and framed from that day. I think what’s also cool is that right below the “I AM A PASTOR” I answer the question “for who?” → The Thankful and Blessed AND the Depressed and LonelyI don’t remember writing. When I read it out loud, I broke down crying. As if I just made, the most important admission of my life… as if, in an instant, I finally felt worthy… as if, every single thing I’d ever been through made sense, in that moment. I was emotional and then I started noticing that almost everyone in that circle was crying too. And nodding. And in agreement.November 3rd.I had dipped my toes in ministry until THAT moment on November 3rd, 2018.The next 2 years of my life… I tried to figure out how to go deeper and deeper into the calling that I had. I didn’t know how to navigate my calling so I continued to do what I knew. I applied to work at my church a couple times and I didn’t get those jobs but I kept volunteering there. I think I volunteered so much that they were like “fine Joel, here’s a job”. Haha! Nah but for real… I got my IN because I was always around and then a need arose and I was available (another sermon). And I started workin nights. Stacking chairs and moving tables and setting up rooms. Then I was around and available and got asked to do Kids camp… so I did camp in the morning, went home and changed and came back and closed the church every night. And then a full time job opened up and, duh, I work 65 hours a week, I’d love to work 45/50 … more physical labor stuff? I know I’m in a place of ministry so… I’m just trying to walk this calling thing out and into fruition. Benefits? Let’s go!That last 3/4 months of 2019 was when I got hurt at work. It was determined that surgery was necessary for my left knee… but then COVID.We worked remote for months which kinda bought me some time with my body because the things I couldn’t physically do anymore weren’t required of me. As the world pivoted, I got a chance to do so many other things that I’ve been equipped to do in ministry. What I noticed was that I had work to do for my church job but then I was also beginning to walk with people side by side through the pandemic. The pressure was making people buckle and my spiritual gifts were there to point me towards people personally.SHAREing. SHAREapy. Teaching people to SHARE their blessings and the bruises to connect with love and empathy.I told my executive pastors that there was this ministry that I HAD to do. It’s called SHARE.The day that I told my manager and my senior leadership that I would have to pursue this calling, everything changed. I told them that after my surgery and rehab, and once I was physically healed, I would give my notice… because I had to start SHARE. That same day, while we were on a work retreat, I got a call from the surgeons office to schedule my surgery. 8 days later.November 3rd, 2020, I had that surgery on my left knee.I haven’t physically walked since November 3rd, 2020.I’ve walked with HUNDREDS of people PERSONALLY since November 3rd. God has allowed me to fight suicide in peoples story. He’s allowed me to fight depression in people’s story. I’ve casually and intensely and unknowingly pastored people in this season.I ain’t gotta 501c3. I ain’t got a board of directors. I ain’t got a ministry plan. I know all of those things are important but I do ministry full time, all the time, and for all time. It's my purpose.By November 3rd of this year… I expect that God will provide this 3.5 year old ministry another touchstone for us to celebrate and commemorate as a Holy moment. Yeah… I just called the surgery that crippled me a Holy moment… you know why?!Because, as awful as this season is. As freakin broke I am. As miserable as some days can be…. I haven’t left my couch since 8:30am, I woke up and I peed and I laid on my couch to watch church and finish this piece and physically haven’t been able to get up since (it’s 2:20pm). But a HOLY moment happened on November 3rd when I went from injured to disabled… I went from physically walking to spiritually walking.So, you want to know what it means to find your purpose? Stop expecting the expected. Start opening your heart and your mind for God to use each part of your story to write His masterpiece. Stop expecting it to go YOUR way and ask that He points you towards His. Finally, reflect often. Look back on your story and how it’s twisted and turned and pay attention to where you had points or moment in your life that you can reminisce on where you never could have imagined so much joy coming from so much pain. Pay attention to dates and milestones that you’ve already overcome. See how good God’s already been and set your expectations there.To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I wonder what Van Gogh did to channel his inspiration for Starry Night. I’ve loved this painting since I was a kid. Weird but true. Every time I’ve seen it I’ve been able to identify it as Starry Night. I think I know it well enough that I could spot a fake if I saw it.He embellished it. He reinterpreted it and reimagined it. That’s the only way he could make the most beautiful picture in existence, the picture of the night sky… art.It’s impossible to capture/describe/express something that God has already made perfect.Think about it. You can’t truly describe a beautiful sunset. You can try. You could take a picture. But how many times do we say, “a picture doesn’t do it justice.” With the best camera and the perfect camera settings, you’ll never be able to see the full scene. You can’t see the full story. You could only see a snapshot.That’s how I feel like it is, for me, every Mother’s Day. It’s overwhelming to even contemplate describing what God has perfectly made for Joel, Jamii, Justice and Jonathon. To celebrate her one day a year wouldn’t even make sense. That’s why we celebrate her year round… and again on Mother’s Day. Lol.Lorena Ann Talone-Barnes, God made you a masterpiece. Your canvas and foundation of the piece is the the written word of God. Thats’s why many great works have been inspired by you. You made the decision to allow God to craft you with quality materials and a firm foundation.The frame around God’s artwork is a boundary of protection that we have seen you fight for repeatedly. Things that were unhealthy for our family or hurt our family got set outside of those protective walls. You taught us that we don’t have to let anyone hurt us. More importantly it taught us that no one is allowed to ruin the art that God is doing to our own “peace”.In you we see the sharp lines of fierceness for your your children. We see God’s soft brush strokes of compassion and empathy. All of God’s best mediums show up in your composition.You are the perfect mom for the four J’s. The perfect grandma for your grand babies. A masterpiece. God’s masterpiece.I could never accurately express what you have meant to me in this season. Even if I tried to embellish it, I wouldn’t do it justice. What I do know is that I couldn’t have made it without you. You, like the artist who made you, know what it is to have a son (children) suffer… soon you’ll also know what it is to have the story end in triumph.Unlike the Starry Night, you are not finished… you are still a work in progress. I’ve watched you stay fluid and improve within the past few years. We’re all still, both, learning from you, studying you and in awe of you.We love you ma. I hope we let you know that continuously and not just on Mother’s Day. Hopefully today is more of the day we share about you with the world vs. share what you mean to us. We want you to know it everyday and not just on one day.We love you so much. Happy Mother’s Day Mommy!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Maybe this is going to be a published piece. Who knows. But I’m thinking through who we ask to pray and when. As “crazy faith”ful of a person as I am, I still somehow stay insanely logical and I think, since God is a God of order, He likes logic and systems.Someone asked me why I didn’t ask them to pray for me the other day. In that moment, I realized how freakin complicated of a question AND answer that was.The honest truth was that I knew that me asking them to pray would kick them into “fix it” mode and that’s not what I needed. They1’d probably take a part of my story and tell me about a similar part of their story and “this is how I got out of that place”.There’s a time and place for that but, probably rarely, while someone is so upset that they can’t stop crying and are just desperately reaching out to have someone go to God on their behalf.My posture (desire to ask for prayer and desperation)+ my circumstance (specific circumstance makes you ping certain people who share similar experiences)+ my (reduced) capacity to process (let’s just call it what it is, depression)+ my close friend pool (the deeper I get the fewer ppl I would even count on to be there)+ my observation (seeing people intercede or pray or wanting to pray promotes a willingness to ask for it…I think)++++++ blah blah blah.We make it so complicated. And it IS. Truly. Pretty damn complicated.But who was your spirit telling you to ask for prayer? What did your gut say?We have these amazing spirits that seem to do all of that calculation for us in an instant.Are we in tune with our gut or are we letting the circumstances overwhelm us to the point where we don’t reach out? Then, when you get to the point where you know you need to reach out, who? Oh that person has enough going on, that persons a fixer and not a listener, well if not them, then who? No one? Do I keep it to myself (the answer here should always be NO. I believe we HAVE to share. It’s not a question of if, it’s a question of where.)I’ve been studying the book of Job through this season and hope to put a class together on it, actually. I fell asleep last night listening to the Audible version of the book of Job being read. I woke up out of a dead sleep when I heard this scripture read:“For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me; inside I am like bottled-up wine, like new wineskins ready to burst. I must speak and find relief; I must open my lips and reply.”Job 32:18-20 NIVWe have to share.But who do I share with? How do I consummate my decision to submit my troubles or triumphs to God?Simply put. Share your bruises with someone safe and share your blessings where you feel satiated.Because this is a season where I’m taking some lumps, I feel so in-tune with how tender a place it can be to ask for prayer. I want to give you a couple things that have actually helped me share and ask for prayer.Here are some ways to figure out who to ask for prayer:* who comes to mind 1st? There’s a reason for that and you may or may not even understand it yet.* anyone else? If you are like me, it might feel like multiple people for multiple different reasons. That’s ok. Lean into that. Different people serve different purposes in your life. It’s the same way you have specific purpose in their lives.* remember. You are not a burden. Most people you would ask to pray for you would receive that opportunity as an honor to do so.* where do you feel safe to ask?  Is it a private core of people? a small group of people? A larger community of people? Deciding where your comfortable asking can take the stress off ‘the ask’ by narrowing your options.Do you know that just by asking, your prayers will be answered. Multiple times in the Bible it reminds us that where 2 or more are in prayer or agreement, those requests are answered.I just realized that I started with the answer, before I even addressed the problem.That’s ok. In math, we learn that both sides of the equation are equal. So for this example we know that X + Y = ask for prayer. Instead of answering for x and y theoretically, I’ll fill in the variables with my OWN problem from this week.Here is my Facebook post from Monday April 18th, 2022:You cannot cancel MY healing!!Last Thursday they cancelled my physical therapy which was the last element of care that this broken system was providing. We don’t know why. We have no idea what’s going on.This morning I woke up overwhelmed. By so many things and I think not having PT to look forward to just was the straw that broke the camels back.Big ol’ full size tears fell and I couldn’t even do anything to stop em. I reached out to just a couple people and just asked for them to pray.Moments later. And I mean MOMENTS later. As soon as I SHAREd … something went from pain I was holding onto, to pain I was willing to let go of.So I wrote out my own physical therapy plan.I executed a perfect PT therapy session today because NO ONE is allowed to be in charge of my healing except me. I’ve played within the guidelines of the system and now it’s time to light the system on fire.*for the work comp spies* yes, all of these are approved workouts via my prior PT specialists. 🙃  - yes, I need a PT specialist to help me navigate this season and fight the muscle atrophy that’s setting in. Yes you made a huge mistake cancelling my surgeon, Aqua therapy and now physical therapy. Not sure how you sleep at night.God is good. Let’s HEAL.(Sorry if the title of my physical therapy list offends you, that wasn’t my intention and I hadn’t planned on SHAREing it publicly.)The reason I needed prayer was because I was completely heartbroken and overwhelmed when I woke up Monday morning. Honestly, I’ve waken up like that a lot in this season and my request for prayer in this particular situation represented MORE of my commitment to surrender, because what was difficult in the past has become easier for me.Baby steps. I’m taking them. I don’t write to prove that I know, I write to submit to my own transformation. And then, to share it.What I love about this past Monday was that God affirmed my posture of prayer request INSTANTLY. I cannot say it’ll always be like that… but don’t be surprised if God shows up in an instant sometimes. The Posture of Prayer … That’s the name of this article. Volume 1. The Ask.Next week we’re going to dig into The Posture of Prayer from the perspective of the one being asked to pray. If you’ve never been asked to pray for someone, it’s such a beautiful honor. Truly. Mater of fact, will you pray for me? There are so many things but you can just ask God for healing and provision for me and my family. We need it. We need Him. I’d really appreciate any and all prayers. Yeah… from you. I trust you to receive that request and do whatever it is that God nudges you to do with it. Personally… beginning to pray for others started to open me up to ask for it from others.Prayer is so powerful and it starts with YOU. All you gotta do is decide that you don’t want to do it alone. Love y’all… don’t forget to share! To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I Didn’t Wanna Write An Easter Message 🙃Honestly. For so many reasons. Where do I start? I’m not even going to get into my week. So many things have been wrong about it. But I’ve been able to stay pretty positive about it all, I think.This week is a special week in my heart. So maybe that’s helped a bit.I didn’t wanna write an Easter post … but not because of my week or anything personally going on, though. I didn’t wanna write one because this week is sooooo busy for Christians. Lol. Easter is referred to as the “Super Bowl of Christianity”. You know that?And it IS. Literally it’s the reason for the entire belief system. It’s a SUPER big deal. And I believe it 100%.I just didn’t wanna add to the noise. My spirit isn’t really a loud spirit. I see a lot of hoopla and production and “loudness” and I kinda run for cover. And if you are reading this, you know that I definitely have a loud “Jesus Drum” but if there are so many drums beating this week, I kinda craved more quiet.My friend texted me on Thursday and she said “Is it weird that I’m kinda sad because Jesus is going to die soon?” (Meaning Friday and it was Thursday). I just got emotional while writing this because THAT is exactly IT. THAT… that’s what this week is all about. Trying to understand this week as if you were there to witness it. That’s God-level empathy. To know the road that Jesus had to walk as a sacrifice for humanity.If you don’t believe what I believe, that’s a lot of words and ideas to take in. So, to explain a bit, without getting too religiousy. (Side note: you ain’t gotta believe nothin I believe and you are still gonna be invited to this community… I promise. Just please understand that these are not opinions of mine about what took place. This is what I know.)I believe that God in Heaven, that created mankind and all things, sent His Son to earth to live a human life. His name was Jesus of Nazareth. Everyone knows the part of the story where the Virgin Mary gets pregnant and has a son. Did you know that He didn’t do any ministry at all until he was 30? So, for 30 years, He walked around on earth, just like you and me. Farts, coughs, laughs, giggles, muscle cramps, excitement, joy, pain, life… death. He experienced life through our eyes.Imagine making a mug in pottery class and then becoming the mug so that you could experience the life of that mug. You’d know how hot the coffee was… how bad the morning breath was… how it felt to be cracked or discarded. It’s a silly illustration… but… that’s what I believe God did.Prior to Jesus (God’s son aka God on earth) walking and talking around earth, only a handful of people “could” talk directly to God. I put the quotes around “could” because it had become religious custom that only the priests and holy men were allowed to talk to God. They had a special place, too. They could only communicate with God in certain temples or places that where designated as a place that God was.You might have prayed before. That’s YOU talking to God or a “higher being” or energy or whatever you believe…. But that wasn’t even an option before Jesus came to earth. No, I’m serious. Prayer wasn’t a concept that was so freely engaged in. God was far away… in a Holy place. And only met with certain people at certain times. If you wanted God’s blessing, you made a sacrifice to Him. If you were a farmer, you’d take from your livestock, a portion of what God had blessed you with, and you’d sacrifice it. You’d give it back to God via burnt offering many times.You have heard the phrase “God knows”. Well… I believe He really does. Lol. And I believe that God knows the only way to talk to us is in a way that we understand. Since sacrifice was the only way to get to God during this day and age, Sacrifice was the only way for Him to let us know how much He loved us. So He sent His Son. Knowing that we (humans) wouldn’t be able to wrap our minds around the fact that God was walking around on earth and that we’d eventually kill Him.We killed Him. Not because He committed a crime or did anything wrong… we killed Him because He confused us and He scared us and He challenged us to think and believe something completely impossible. That God would come to earth with a posture of love and compassion and empathy. We couldn’t believe that the Almighty would ride into town on the back of a donkey, we expected Him to ride into town with an entourage and an army and riches and glory.But this man is a servant. This man actually knelt on the ground and He washed His followers’ feet. I’m talkin about the dusty ass crusty ass feet of men and women who’d been walk-in around outside all week on unpaved roads. Servant Leadership.That CAN’T be the Almighty God of wrath that we’ve known from the Scriptures. He rained down fire and brimstone. He sounded more like a God to fear than a God that would… die? for me?I want you to imagine 2 perspectives that I’ve thought a lot about.The Power and the PainThe PowerI think what I’ve always loved to think about is how different the story could have been. Jesus, in his time in ministry did incredible miracles. We are not talking fairytale level things. The amount of legitimate and secular documentation of Jesus’ existence, miracles and life are pretty insurmountable. I mean… He had enough power to intimidate the rulers of the day.He could have snapped a finger and gotten off that cross. He could have blinked hard and stopped the beating. He could have clicked his heals and been back in heaven … but His purpose hadn’t been completed.He submitted His power to His purpose.The PainImagine traveling with Jesus for 3 years while He did miracles and healed people and raised the dead. They KNEW He was the King of Kings but in this moment… He was nailed to a cross, beaten beyond recognition, and now… dead. Imagine the pain they felt. The confusion. The “but but but…how?” Ugh. The heartbreak the must have felt.What we didn’t realize was in those 3 days, Jesus was defeating death so that we could have life. Our entire reconnection to a distant God was forged in that grave.His pain was the delivery mechanism for His purpose.Easter is actually my favorite holiday (can you tell?) I’m choked up right now, (actually I’m crying. To be honest. The thought of that scripture ⬆️ hits me in the heart every single time. ) so I might as well go full tilt with it. Ha!I was 13. I’ll never forget this. I was sitting at church… Easter Sunday. A Predominately African American church in the south. There was a reenactment of Jesus going to the cross. People whipped Him and beat Him as He carried this giant cross to the place where He’d eventually die. I had heard the rest of the story. I knew that He would come back. I mean…. Easter. Duh.My mom always made sure that we knew that Easter wasn’t about Easter bunnies and candy, it was about the triumphant return of God from the grave. The sacrifice.I understood that part to the best of my 13 year old ability … but in the moments where I saw this actor portray what God did … for me. And who God was… for me. I started crying. I remember just… weeping. My mom thought something was wrong and she asked me if I was ok and I just said “He did this…for me?!” I knew that this was God. So, He could have changed this whole narrative, much less… getting beat… suffering… getting whipped… humiliated… So you mean to tell me that He suffered to the point of crying tears that were blood… for me??It wrecked me.He died … for me? He sent His Son… for me?This didn’t feel like the God I had heard about… this felt like a personal God. A human God. A human connection to God. An empathetic God.I feel like we mess it up. Religion. All the noise. All the production. All the b******t. I love church. Don’t get me wrong. It just feels so loud right now. I know from working in a church that it’s such a stressful time and I love the hearts of the people that are bringing it all together and making space for people that may not ever go to church except for Easter. But, I just feel called to something different. That’s why I almost didn’t write today. I didn’t want to add to that noise. But you know what? I’m not really writing for people that have it  figured out. That’s not my purpose. I think I’m supposed to spend more time holding the truth with an open hand. It’s mine to share… not mine to convince people of.I pull back from the noise and the hoopla because that’s where I am today. Personally. I need the space as He takes me away to a quiet place and He protects me. He spends time with me. He’s empathetic and loving and full of care. He’s thinking about me…Just like the way my friend was thinking about Him. That’s why I called her question to me “God-like”. Because THAT is what the whole story is about, above everything else. A level of empathy and compassion that’s so deep that she actually got sad that Jesus was gonna die the next day. And she knows what the other side of the story is too!! But that posture… that empathy… the connection … is what Easter is all about to me.The only reason we celebrate His triumphant return from the grave is because He first sacrificed. And He didn’t have to. He could have made the human coffee mug and set us all on the shelf. And closed the door. But He didn’t. He gave us a connection back to Him. A direct line. He gave us a choice. He doesn’t make us worship Him. He’s not fire and brimstone and yet He IS conviction but also empathy.The whole world changed. God became human and sacrificed himself so that we could have a relationship with HIM instead of having to have a relationship with Religion. You don’t have to go to a guy who knows THE GUY at the time or at the place… we gotta direct line. Some people look up, some people close their eyes, some people close their hands, some open em, some people pray when they’re driving or before they lose it on their kids…. All of that. All of it. Was made possible by this reconnection to God that we celebrate called Easter.In the Christian faith we say “He is Risen” and it’s like a call and response thing… everyone knows to respond “He is Risen indeed”. I’ve always wanted to say “Damn right He is” because I don’t personally say the word ‘indeed’ that often but somethin in my gut says Damn Right He loves each and everyone of us broken ass humans SO MUCH that He made away back to Him. I’m not even going to get INTO the Holy Spirit that Jesus sent as His earthly replacement to His physical body… half of y’all already think I’m nuts. But let’s just say this… You are not alone. Ever. Not in your bruises and not in your blessings… you are not alone. God is only a mumble or a groan away. Peace is within arms reach.I don’t really do this often but my spirit is saying “invite” … if you want to start that connection that I keep talking about. The one that guarantees me that I’m not alone. The other day I was telling my friend Zoie… “yo. This season has been so crazy I don’t know how people do it without Jesus. It cements my mission and my purpose to teach people about Him.” If you wanna get to know Him… I’m not promising an instant miracle or offering a step by step manual… all I’m offering is an invitation. If you want to know this Jesus, this God, this Holy Spirit… this servant to mankind. This lover of all. Just say these words out loud or in your heart. And even if you believe these words already… let’s say them with our brothers and sister that are making this invitation.God, thank you for making me part of Your purpose. Thank You for everything You do for me. I believe You lived here on earth like me, that You suffered and died for me and you rose again to save me. I surrender to whatever You wanna do with me. I give my life to You. Use me to do Your work here on earth so that more people have a chance to know You.That’s it. All you have to do is choose that you want to know Him better and deeper and closer… and He’ll do the rest! I’ll help… I mean… however I can! I’d love to hear if you are making that choice and I’ll walk with you down the road, however I have the honor to. But… this is Easter. To me. Right now. Close. Personal. Intimate.Guys. Don’t get me wrong. It’s SUCH a celebration. It’s such a blessing. It’s SUCH a big deal. Trust me. I get it!! We’re celebrating SO much on this day and it can be transformative on your whole life. I just wanted to honest that if you are feeling like maybe it all gets a bit much around Easter… I kinda do too. Especially when I’m going through a rough spot. So it ain’t got it all figured out… or you think you have a lot to learn… or you are interested in being what God wants you to be but you don’t know exactly how… I’m glad I’m not alone. And I’m glad for what feels like a divine inspiration to write.Thank you for making it this far. Thank you for saying that prayer whether it was for you or someone else. We stand WITH people because we know that God is doing a good work in each of us. We just gotta let Him.To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Hope Restored > Hope LostWelcome to Share. The Newsletter. Before I get into the meat of the message today, I’d like to welcome in some new folks that have joined this community in the last few weeks! I also want to quickly reintroduce myself and this project!My name is Joel Barnes, I am a single father to an amazing 14 year old daughter, Hannah, and we live in Chicago, IL. I’m a single dad, but also a co-parent with Melissa and her and her family have now become my own family. Through the ups and the downs, our families have become joined through the love of our kid. Honestly, that whole story is nothing short of a miracle.The cliff notes of my personal story: I was born and raised as a mixed kid (black and italian/irish) in a black low income neighborhood in Orlando, FL. Until I ‘got with the program’ I was bullied in the hood… and I was bullied at the rich white elementary school we got shipped out to.My father was a pastor and conman who physically and emotionally abused my mom, myself and my 3 siblings. My mother was the spiritual lantern that guided me and my siblings towards God’s goodness and grace. It’s and Only God story (and another miracle to marvel at) that we ALL came out of that abusive life with an anointed spirit that craves relationship with the Holy Spirit. We had every excuse in the book to walk away from the truth and perpetuate the brokenness that we’ve all experienced.Professionally, I started in the service industry 25 years ago. From dishwasher, prep cook, line cook, server, bartender, to corporate trainer for the Cheesecake Factory to lead trainer to manager to General Manager to owner to consultant of multiple nightclubs and bars and restaurants around Chicago. I did it all.Then I was called into ministry. From the top of the totem pole of the industry I was in, to an entry level position stacking chairs at my local church, I followed that call.Before I get to the next part, I want to make something extremely clear here.* I have ZERO regrets. You might read my story and have more regrets on my behalf than I do… lol. But I DO NOT.* I am not a victim. Not even a victim of circumstance or situation… God has conquered the next part of my story… even though I’m still going through it.* God is incredible.Aight… let’s get to the next part of the story about the mixed kid from the hood who never fit anywhere and now fits in EVERYWHERE.I did physical labor stuff for about a year and then transitioned to full time and more physical stuff. Honestly, I was pastoring in the hallways and while we folded tables and stacked chairs and I was leading small groups and doing ministry in there trenches… but my body was getting beat up. Late 2019 I was diagnosed with 3 slipped discs in my back and a torn meniscus. Meniscus surgery scheduled for April 2020 … but then COVID.11.3.2020 I had a “simple meniscectomy” and something went wrong and I haven’t walked without crutches or pain since. I was diagnosed with a rare nerve pain syndrome called CRPS in February of 2021. WILD TIMES. lol. It’s been the hardest 17 months of my life. I haven’t been ABLE to work or cover my bills for 17… MONTHS. Depression, anxiety…. PAIN…. On a level that I never knew could be survivable. Truly.That’s all heavy stuff…. But that’s not what I think this season has been about.Honestly, I think it’s been about HOPE.Let’s get into this message for today.The only thing harder than having hope is losing it.Thank you God for finally revealing what this whole newsletter is about… y’all, I been just writing blind here. He’s only been giving me the next thought and I have written it… and He’s given me the next thought and I have written it. Trust me… there’s nothing fun about telling a story that gets to THIS part of it. Especially since I haven’t transcended it yet. I had 2 pain flares this week. April rent isn’t paid. THIS week, I had a surgical consultation with a new surgeon that was planning on scoping my knee to try to find out what’s mechanically wrong with it… work comp cancelled the appointment in the 9th hour. THIS WEEK… I experienced Aqua Therapy and it was amazing… matter of fact, this was my post about it:I just swam. In a pool.They put a buoyancy board between my legs so that I didn’t have to use my legs to kick.And I swam.In a pool.2 laps.And I’m super emotional about it…I haven’t moved on my own in over 17 months…(Over 300 reactions and comments from people that were so happy to hear this for me)Guys it was amazing and surreal and incredible and life giving and…. and guys!!! It was CANCELLED by work comp three days later. Literally HOURS after they had cancelled my surgical consult.In that moment, I knew that it was the subject of today’s newsletter. “The only thing harder than losing hope was having in the first place” - yeah… I reworded it there.First of all… having hope cancelled on me TWICE within a few hours. The hope stolen of a new surgical opinion on my knee that could give me some help and relief… upsetting. The hope of the best overall treatment I’ve experience in the aqua therapy stolen… via a third party email… upsetting. KNOWing that I now had to go and share that news with my mom, my family, my close prayer circle, my friends and eventually, here, with you… devastating.I don’t care about reactions or likes or comments or any of that b******t… but I had just delivered HOPE in my story, and now, I gotta walk it back. Honestly, I cared more about that, than I did the news of the cancellations.But it all just made sense….I’ve been asking God to show me the meaning.Easter is my favorite holiday. Always has been. You know what I’ve always been enthralled by? Imagining being there. Honestly, it’s the only way God’s ever let me understand the Bible and the Bible stories. To imagine that I was there…In my faith, Easter is the celebration of the death and resurrection of Jesus. I don’t know if you believe what I believe but that’s gotta sound like some wild stuff to you. “So this man who God sent to earth, as God on earth, died… and then a couple days he came BACK?!” Yeah… we can have a hundred conversations about that event, whenever you want to… but today, I gotta focus on what God showed me a few minutes ago.Jesus traveled around the land for 3 years doing miracles and changing lives and freeing people from the existing human interpretation of God’s love. The Bible is broken into 2 parts, the Old Testament and the New Testament. Here’s the definition of a testament.tes·ta·ment/ˈtestəmənt/noun* a person's will, especially the part relating to personal property. "father's will and testament"* something that serves as a sign or evidence of a specified fact, event, or quality."growing attendance figures are a testament to the event's popularity"The New Testament is the new Will of God. It’s the new way, the new “sign or evidence” of His presence and relationship with us, His kids here on earth. It was marked by the HOPE of God walking the earth. His coming had been preceded in the Old Testament … and now it was happening!!And this week, over 2000 years ago, all of the hope that had been anticipated for years…. All of the hope that had been craved and desired and urned for… would be snuffed out by Friday. Matter of fact, today is called Palm Sunday because this day marks the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey and people celebrated by laying palms on His path and fanning Him with palms as He rode in. A King was coming to take the thrown. Hope was gushing from the people who had been looking for Him to deliver them from the tyrannical Roman rulers. Hope was at an all time high. Could you imagine it?And then… He’s brutally murdered and tortured and publicly hung to die with murderers and thieves.His disciples had to be in shock. They had to be devastated and confused. We can even find stories of them denying even KNOWING Jesus during this time. Hope was stolen. Snatched away. Unbelievably ripped out of their hands.My story isn’t the same. But it kinda is… right?The hope that you have lost… it might not be the same, but it feels similar, doesn’t it.You just knew he/she was the one for you, but it didn’t work out. You had hope.You just knew you taught you kid to do better than that. You had hope.You just knew that you were eating right and exercising but you still go that diagnosis. You had hope.You just knew that this was the church for you, but situations broke your heart. You had hope.You just knew that you’d be further along in life than you are. You had hope.I think for me, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that hope doesn’t just float down and land on me when I’m in a tough situation. Hope is a verb. It’s active and not passive. It’s worked for and doesn’t just appear. I’ve had to work for hope and fortify my soul with HOPE. Hope is built up around my heart like a wall.This week, I’m so thankful for hope that’s been stored. I’m so thankful for when the wolves of death and despair and pain and disappointment approach, I get on my knees, and I grab my shield and my sword, as I call on You God. I don’t have the strength or resources to handle this season and having hope knocked out of my hands… but you have won the battle for me, already. Knowing that is faith.Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Here’s the revelation of this past week versus this coming week. What we KNOW is that we can lose hope. We can have it stripped out from under us. Situations can come and attempt to rob you and steal your joy from you.But I already know the end of the story. Events of the day might rock my hope but my faith says….But my faith says….But my FAITH says. I know who won this battle.Friday, Jesus was murdered and hope was lost….But by Sunday…on the other side of the story….on the other side of your heartbreak….on the other side of your struggle…on the other side of your pain…on the other side of hope lost…Your hope will be restored because death and despair and depression and anxiety and hurt and pain and heartbreak and struggle have been defeated. Conquered. As they were in that grave… they have been overcome.And look… I’m telling you this, while I’m crouched on my knees and in my fighting stance. With MY hope attacked and dashed… just a couple days ago. But sometimes, I truly believe that in order for us to sure up our faith, our hope has to be tested. Sometimes hope has to be lost so we can find it again. As a person who’s gone through the process over and over again… no matter how many times I tell the story, He ALWAYS conquers the grave. He always defeats my enemies. He always brings me through to the next season. ALWAYS. My faith can’t allow me to see it any other way because I’ve seen it too many times. I’ve had to work to restore my HOPE so many times. I’ve had my faith tested so many times.You are NOT alone. God is not done with your story. He didn’t stop at the grave… He fought off death for you. He fought off depression and anxiety for you. He fought to restore your hope. He fought to secure your faith.What a good lesson this week. Honestly, I’m sad that I continue to fight for healing and health and something keeps pushing back. My hope is hurting this week, but my faith remains strong.If your hope or your faith is hurting, this week, I’m praying for you. If you are just exhausted, I’m praying for you. If you are cruising through life and killin it… I’m praying for you.To close…. I think it’s pretty funny how this piece turned out. I started to give you a snapshot of what this whole newsletter and podcast project is… of who I am. Of why I do this every week. And then it just naturally evolved into exactly that: A New Testament of Hope through Hardship.I love this ministry. We are “Teaching people to SHARE their blessings and bruises to connect with love and empathy”. Thank You for that assignment God. Thank You for what you are doing in ME through it all.I thought I was done but God said… take em to church a lil bit. I’m supposed to SHARE this scripture from Luke 24:1 with you.If you are not listening to the podcast version for this… I would recommend it because I’m going to place the verse below, but let it flow as I read it.1Very early on Sunday morning the women went to the tomb, carrying the spices they had prepared. 2They found the stone rolled away from the entrance to the tomb, 3so they went in; but they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4They stood there puzzled about this, when suddenly two men in bright shining clothes stood by them. 5Full of fear, the women bowed down to the ground, as the men said to them, “Why are you looking among the dead for one who is alive? 6 He is not here; he has been raised. Remember what he said to you while he was in Galilee: 7‘The Son of Man must be handed over to sinners, be crucified, and three days later rise to life.’ 8Then the women remembered his words, 9returned from the tomb, and told all these things to the eleven disciples and all the rest. 10The women were Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Mary the mother of James; they and the other women with them told these things to the apostles. 11But the apostles thought that what the women said was nonsense, and they did not believe them. 12But Peter got up and ran to the tomb; he bent down and saw the linen wrappings but nothing else. Then he went back home amazed at what had happened.13On that same day two of Jesus' followers were going to a village named Emmaus, about eleven kilometres from Jerusalem, 14and they were talking to each other about all the things that had happened. 15As they talked and discussed, Jesus himself drew near and walked along with them; 16they saw him, but somehow did not recognize him. 17Jesus said to them, “What are you talking about to each other, as you walk along?”They stood still, with sad faces. 18One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only visitor in Jerusalem who doesn't know the things that have been happening there these last few days?”19 “What things?” he asked.“The things that happened to Jesus of Nazareth,” they answered. “This man was a prophet and was considered by God and by all the people to be powerful in everything he said and did. 20Our chief priests and rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and he was crucified. 21And we had hoped that he would be the one who was going to set Israel free! Besides all that, this is now the third day since it happened. 22Some of the women of our group surprised us; they went at dawn to the tomb, 23but could not find his body. They came back saying they had seen a vision of angels who told them that he is alive. 24Some of our group went to the tomb and found it exactly as the women had said, but they did not see him.”25Then Jesus said to them, “How foolish you are, how slow you are to believe everything the prophets said! 26Was it not necessary for the Messiah to suffer these things and then to enter his glory?”Thank you for making it this far. Thank you for continuously encouraging me to SHARE and not to hide during this trying time. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I Am Will SmithFor better of for worse, today, I am Will Smith. Remember the “I am Tiger Woods” add from back in the day?Honestly, I saw it immediately.First of all, I’d like to say that I don’t condone violence of any kind except in direct response to a threat that looks to harm you or your loved ones. Try to read this newsletter or listen to this podcast with an open mind. This isn’t for you if you are standing on a Bible preaching down to the situation or have your mind fully made up about what did/should/could have happened. Stay open, with me, for at least, the time it takes to consume this letter.I’m not a proponent of violence, however, I’ve definitely slapped a few people in my day. I mean… in the hood it’s the ultimate sign of disrespect or disdain. An act that says, “I don’t even respect you enough to close my fist and punch you”. Standing at the bus stop and hearing that sound of a good ‘smack’ is something that sticks with you. Everyone remembers. Everyone talks about it.See, like this week. Oscar night one man slapped another and it’s all we’ve talked about since. Matter of fact, it has saturated everything. I was watching a gamers’ live stream earlier and they had to have mentioned it 20 times. Memes, gifs, jokes… it’ll be talked about on award stages for the next year. I guarantee it.10s of thousands of memes and gifs and the video is everywhere and all I can think about, since night is that I AM Will Smith.Instantly. I watched the slap. Then I watched the acceptance speech. Back to back. I’m positive that you’ve seen the slap and probably even heard Will telling Chris to keep his wife’s name out of his (bleeping) mouth. But if you haven’t seen the acceptance speech you can click HERE. Both, are pertinent and relevant to my perspective.I see both videos and seconds later, my BFF texts me. Now… he and I don’t get to talk as often as we used to, but yet and still, probably 97% of our conversations are “truthful jest”. We don’t adhere to “politically correctness” but more to honesty. It’s not unlike us to make light of a situation in order for it to stay funny(ish) and not depress us. He starts texting me and I’ve not had too much time to process it and I start engaging in my usual “joking about it” manner. It took me a bit to realize that he was serious about his position. Without getting too much into the conversation, it made him deeply sad at the state of the world and the state of mental health in the world today. He’s right.The first time I made the correlation to myself was in that conversation when I said “that’s some s**t I’d probably do (meaning the slap).” You guys don’t know me like this BFF does… he’s actually seen me go nuts and start fights before. Once when we were in college, someone had threatened us with a gun, so the next time I saw him at the club, I went and beat his butt. No questions asked. My friend tried to grab me and hold me back but I was raised where we don’t talk about guns. I needed to teach him to keep that word out of his mouth. (Again guys… I’m not condoning this or taking it lightly, but it’s important for the context). I was more upset that he threatened my friends than I was concerned that he threatened me. I was also was struggling with my mental health for YEARS and I didn’t know it. I also had the fingerprints of a physically and emotionally abusive father on my life… and I didn’t know it, know how to process it… I didn’t know how traumatic it had been. All I knew was the raw and rudimentary instincts to protect, attack and defend.Would Joel, today, act that same way? No. Would I slap someone for insulting Hannah if she had an auto immune disease that made her feel self conscious? I mean… probably not… more than likely not… but if I looked over and saw that she was devastated by the comment… uh… I mean… best I can do is pray that I never have to make that decision.Did Will make the right decision? No… but I’ve made really bad decisions like that, too. Like. A lot of em. So have YOU. No matter how good and righteous you are… so have you. I don’t care who you are. So have you.In that moment Will reminded me of me because I’m a person who experiences pain and battles with mental health issues… and I feel overwhelmed … and I can make rash decisions. Even in the name of “love and/or honor” I know that I’ve been so close to the edge that it would only take a nudge to push me over it. I’ve been there… I’ve seen that. After watching the acceptance speech… I KNEW I was Will Smith.This man has always had a light about him. He’s dedicated his life to creating good and wholesome content to make people laugh. I mean… y’all forget that this is almost literally the only rapper ever to go platinum without cussing on an album? You forget the charisma that literally jumps out of his skin while he made you laugh as the Fresh Prince? Oh, you thought he played that role? A kid from the hood who was having a hard/yet funny transition into a privileged life… you thought that was an act? He’s said it before… he played HIMSELF. That’s why he was so good at it. You could see that God had His hand of favor on his life. Will never claimed God or spoke about his purpose or calling, though. Which was fine. But I noticed it because I’ve been compared to having a personality like Will Smith. So my curiosity has always wondered what made him tick? Where does he get his energy from? Does he even know that he’s a blessed person and his gifts are from God?Until his acceptance speech that night. Moments after slapping the s**t out if someone, he’s emotionally delivering an acceptance speech for his first Oscar. Tears are streaming down his face as he talks about shining light into the world and beginning to walk in his purpose from God. He even quotes Denzel Washington as saying that “At your highest moment, that when the devil comes for you”. And we had JUST witnessed that moments before.Satan tried to steal the show. The devil might steal the show but GOD will save the story!! I’m not saying any weird “the devil made him do it” crap…. All I’m saying is that for a person struggling and in pain and overwhelmed and shamed… it’s a lot harder to think and do the right thing. A lot harder. Mental health struggles are REAL.I kinda of went in an entire tangent in our family WhatsApp the morning after the event. If you follow me on social, you will rarely see me react to anything. I’m not really a reactive person, in general. I’m a contemplative person.“But then Joel, how are you Will Smith?! You saw what he did… not cool!!”“But Jada ________________ and she _____________.”Look… not my business, not my conversation, not my connection to this scene. Not my point. All I’m doing is identifying what my spirit sees as ME. I’m looking at MY faults… my opportunities to improve… my passions… my traumas unfolding.Empathetically.That’s it. That same exact vibe I felt that night when I saw the slap and the acceptance is the same vibe I feel today. I’m not making a single excuse for him and I’m also not judging as if I haven’t made the same mistakes. I’m not dismissing anything that he and his wife have done and that’s also none of my business. Does it add context and/or complicate the story? His story? Their story? The full dynamic of the situation? Absolutely.Does it negate the fact that this dude is struggling AND being called to use his fame and fortune for the good and recognition of others? No. No it doesn’t. Not anymore than it does with you. You’ve never heard me stand on one side or the other. It doesn’t matter that I’m seeking the truth or seeking the wisdom of God… when it comes to humanity I’ve ONLY ever talked about how BOTH with truly are. The humanness and the grace of God are BOTH present. The broken and the being called to more. At the same time. A sinner and a saint. At the same time.I don’t believe in using the Bible as a weapon. Yes, Christians I know that the Bible actually calls the Bible a weapon. (Hebrew’s 4:12 calls the Bible a double edged sword but I can write a whole sermon on how it cuts with one edge and heals with the other… but that’s for another day). And this weapon is formed against the forces of evil. Aka. The devil. Not humans. And YES the Bible should and will convict us but it’s not to be used against us. How can a God that’s FOR you be against you too… again. Another sermon for another day… but today, I want to share with you the only story that keeps coming up in my spirit this week.To some, this is going to be a familiar story. My hope is that maybe a lot of people reading this haven’t heard this story. Ultimately though, my prayer for all of us is that it teaches us something today.It’s from John Chapter 8. Starting in verse 2.“Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them.”First lesson. Jesus was just chillin. Minding his own business. He had a purpose and was literally busy fulfilling it. He was chillin… teaching people about God.“The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?””‭‭John‬ ‭8:3-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬Imagine. Going and getting drama and bringing someone else’s drama and bringing it into the public as if you have the authority and/or you have the righteousness to comment. Imagine. Crazy… But wait for it…“This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground.”‭‭John‬ ‭8:6‬ ‭ESVListen. The people with the real wisdom… are minding their own damn business writing in the dirt with their index fingers. They are unbothered by public opinion and are only really trying to listen and understand. That’s it. And the ones with true authority, only speak when it’s time…“And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”” “And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground.”‭‭John‬ ‭8:7‬&8 ESV‬‬Yooooo …. He stood up. He said “all y’all on twitter and IG and Facebook who have never done anything wrong or suffered or battled mental illness or made a mistake, y’all can keep going with the judgements and opinions” and then he knelt back down and kept drawing in the dirt. The amount of power He has is literally displayed in His posture. But He’d stand up one last time… to deliver one more message of freedom from human judgement and condemnation.“But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”‭‭John‬ ‭8:9-11‬ ‭ESV‬‬I bet you didn’t know you were going to church in this newsletter… neither did I. But let me tell you something… THE POWER in this posture. The power of forced empathy… Oh you missed that? Jesus MADE them look at themselves FIRST before they could act on their righteousness to persecute. He MADE them empathetic. They had to put themselves in HER shoes by way of FIRST looking at themselves. They had to first evaluate all of the ways that they’ve fallen short… FIRST. And when they did, they dropped their stones. The old heads got it first… lol… the older we get, the more times we know about that we’ve made mistakes. And one by one… they all left.And the only one left standing there…. Next to her…. Next to Will…. Next to me… The only one standing. STANDING… in authority and love and empathy …. Was Jesus.IS Jesus.When everyone else is gone. When everyone else has stones and has had the opportunity to throw them, and has had to drop them… the only one left, is Jesus.I am Will Smith.Nothing else matter to God. He’s not looking at your past … he’s not looking at your wife or your husband… he’s looking at you. He’s standing UP to give you the biggest hug of your LIFE when the whole world has judged you. When you are broken by the world. When the whole world has turned their back on you… He’s still there. He never left…I am Will Smith.I am broken. I am called. I am blessed. I am fighting. I am chosen. I am loved. I am healed. I am human.I am Will Smith.I don’t want to do anything else in the world with my life than this…. To take the Word of God to break the lies that it’s been used to tell… to TEACH PEOPLE HOW GOOD GOD IS … how loving God is. How accepting of YOU that God is. There is nothing else… The Posture of Jesus was to physically lower himself to a seated posture when He taught and when He was minding His own business. When He delivered truth, He stood…. When He acknowledged a convicted sinner, He stood. When he SAW her… he stood… to see her. I am that sinner. I don’t even WANNA be a saint. I have no interest in it. I decided this week that I don’t want to be called a Man of God… I just wanna be a man that God is using. I think there’s a really big difference there.I will say it again for the saints in the back. I do not want to be called man of God. I ONLY want to be called a man that God is using.I am Will Smith. I think he’s a man that God is using, too. I just say, wait for it. To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Newsletter Update 3.27.22Share. The Newsletter is 6 months old y’all!! Can you believe it?! There’s so much to celebrate and so much to update you all on!I’ll update you on the Newsletter project, the ministry, and my health stuff. I got some good stuff and some rough stuff… just like the news. Some of it is my favorite to share… some of it isn’t. 🤔  Sounds like “SHAREing my blessings and my bruises”…The projectWhen I started this newsletter, over 6 months ago (can you believe it’s been over 6 MONTHS already?!?) I wanted to accomplish 3 main objectives, Commit, Develop, Go:* COMMIT to posting transparent content weekly. Committing to consistency is difficult for me and I needed to get better at it. Happy to say that I haven’t missed a week. I’ll do better at strategically giving myself time “off” of writing, but step one was committing and executing on the weekly goal. I’ve written so much, at this point, that I could probably finalize content that I’ve written and legitimately rest for a couple weeks.* DEVELOP my writing and content creation to a level that was more refined and planned but also allowed for God to flip the script and “do what He do” in all my work. Looking back at the last 6 months, I can see how my process has developed and gotten better, and yet… every week I report that I wrote one thing, but felt strongly compelled to post something else. It’s hard for a lot of people to plan but yet stay pliable enough for change. For me, I have a  hard time developing the process AROUND my creativity. I believe it has gotten better. Look, I am using bullet points!!* GO FIRST at Teaching people to SHARE their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy. It’s a big one for me because I can’t tell you that I would have written the story this way. If you would have told me while I was running nightclubs that, in order to fulfill my purpose in life, I would have to: suffer more than I’ve ever suffered, struggle to keep bills paid and then tell the entire world about it at the beginning of my ministry journey… I probably would have passed. I’d probably be rich and super popular but also have one foot in the grave because of drinking myself to death. I made the right decision. I’ll go first. We will ALL have receipts for how good God is by the end of this story. Just wait for it.I can say that this project has been a huge blessing to me and my family. Right now, it’s still small, but when I tell you that I appreciate the love and support and interaction, I couldn’t express enough gratitude. Financially, the project literally puts food on the table and I’m able to buy groceries with it once (sometimes twice) a month. The next goal is probably to push the subs up to a point where the income covers 2 weeks of groceries and third of my rent.Right now paid subscriptions are at 27. The goal for the next 6 months is to get that  subscription number up to 120.The project is on pace (currently) to make $1800 this calendar year. It’s a great and humbling start… and I have to keep going!**One big note for this season**I know that I deserve to make this a paid newsletter. I know that, for people who support me, care about me, are invested in ME and Hannah’s day-to-day life, $7/month is nothin. I ALSO know that I earn that $7/month from each and every time some one opened that email and consumes this content. I know it’s worth the 1 and 25 cents per email that I actually make per subscriber reading each week. I’m fully confident in the value of the work. I want to establish that.I also don’t want the encouragement and the difficulty and the transparency and the empathy and the love that I sift through each week, to sit behind a paywall. I want to make it a fully accessible project that some people intentionally decide to support (when the feel lead) and some people are able to run across accidentally and consume, if that’s what they need.I have a long time, dear friend, who’s in the middle of battling addiction. He and I have reconnected and been back in regular(ish) communication BECAUSE OF THIS PROJECT. He quotes things that I’ve mentioned in this project back to me. That couldn’t have happened if he had to subscribe FIRST.I have another friend who’s a former gangbanger but in this season, he struggles to put food on the table like me. It’s not really a luxury that he has, right now, to spend any extra money. But he listens to, reads or his daughter listened to or reads this show every week.It was a difficult decision to make it free with an optional subscription but after a lot of heart searching and prayer, I realized that the subscriptions and support are what Joel needs to survive. The words in this project might be what someone else needs to make it through another day. I trust that God will provide for me, as I’ve committed to help teach His kids how to share.Ultimately, that’s another big decision I’ve made in this last 6 months. If you can support, support. If you need support, I’m here.The Ministry:Honestly, this is my favorite part of this season. I know that I’ll have to get my docs in a row (pun intended) and make sure that one day, as I launch SHARE. As a 501c3, I’ll have to raise the standard of how I “report” success. That’s probably why, right now, while I DON’T, I will relish in it.I get to just walk with people. Behind the scenes. Without any cameras or promotion or production or b******t. I just get to do hand to hand ministry at a fundamentally personal level with people. I face a weakness, I search for it in the Bible. I have the honor of having someone’s weakness SHAREd with me, I look for it in the Bible.“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-10‬ ‭ESV‬‬SHARE is based on this idea that SHAREing our blessings and our bruises allows us freedom from solitude. We have to SHARE our bruises where we feel safe. We have to SHARE our blessings where we feel satisfied. SHAREing is one of the only gifts I’ve ever seen that, even if it’s good or bad… high or low… it’s a blessing to all parties involved.I hate hearing my friends, family or loved ones hurt. I hate to hurt, and SHARE about it. But I’m honored to get to be allowed to just WALK with people. Side by side… I don’t HAVE to have the answer, I get to SEEK the answers and grow with community.Honestly, I don’t know how to scale from here. I don’t want to lose the focus on the people that “ain’t got it all figured out.” Or “ don’t have all the answers.”  Also… I don’t want to ever feel like I HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT or have all the answers. I’m on the journey too.The word ministry comes from the word “diakonia” which means “those who speak the Word of God.” That can’t just be me. We all have to develop the habits and the skills necessary to seek truth. There’s never a conversation that I enter into that I don’t think and/or expect, something to be revealed to me also.I love it.I can’t talk about a lot of the details… but dozens of conversations/interactions a week. Dozens of prayers prayed. So much SHAREing. It’s truly kept my head on straight through my season. Mainly, I think, because it’s kept my spirit active and engaged. My cup, in that way, runs with overflow.Ok. That concludes the super duper awesome 6 month update. You have my permission to stop reading here. Lol.The health update:Ugh. Damnit. This is the worst, guys. I’ve never worked harder at something and felt like more things were stacked against me. It is exhausting. Workman’s comp is a nightmare. My nurse case manager that I felt was one of my only advocates, quit the company. I hypothesize that she’s way overworked as a bilingual caseworker  decided to go elsewhere. Either way, it was a big hit as far as people who actually advocate for me. Almost no one else… doctors, lawyers, etc. All seem to have thrown in the towel on me.But I haven’t thrown in the towel on me. Matter of fact, I went so hard in PT last week that I legitimately cried through the last 15 minutes of PT. My current physical therapist is incredible. I know that the pain is for a reason… it’s still some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life… daily.I’m currently still not able to walk without crutches because if the pain of bearing weight on my left knee. I’m on all kinda meds that mess with your head and make you wanna eat everything in sight and add to your depression. I’ve had to go to the ER a few times due to pain flares from the CRPS. A pain flare is when baseline 6/7 (out of 10) daily pain climbs to an 8/9 pain level and does not come down. Morphine, Ketamine, Dilated, Toradol… sometimes the only things that can snap me out of that pain cycle can literally calm the nerves from my lower back down to my foot.Next steps will be another surgery to scope and look to see if they can identify the mechanical malfunctionings in my knee. I had an appointment on March 9th, but someone dropped the ball and didn’t send over any images or surgery notes… and they still haven’t. So it’s my part-time / full-time job between physical therapy, home therapy, (water therapy starting Monday) Therapy therapy, emailing lawyers, Physicians Assistants, calling medical records departments … like I said. Exhausting. Painful. Draining. 100% necessary. And I’m 100% committed.I have to lay down for probably 70% of the day. In addition to when I sleep…if I can sleep. It’s 5am right now… Haha. So most of my ministry, phone calls, texts, writing, researching, studying… is done from my couch or my bed. That’s something else I have to fight for. My mental health is stretched stretched. Yeah I meant to type it twice. Lol.I honestly just wish I could work enough to alleviate the bills burden. If I could do that, I think it would be easier for me to navigate the physical stuff which consumes SO much of my capacity right now.So… I wish I could report better things, on this topic. But I already know that I’m fully healed and restored and in better health than I’ve ever been… (because we’ve prayed and asked for that everyday for almost 17 months.) I just haven’t arrived at that reality YET … but I will get there. There is ZERO doubt in my mind (normally). Haha… I promised to be honest and transparent… it get really hard some days.I’m in the most incredible season of my life.My capacity for empathy and compassion has exponentially expanded. Exponentially. I mean… if you could love people better, walk with them towards the light, understand their ups AND their downs… isn’t it, then, a blessing to suffer? Doesn’t mean I like it. Lol. Doesn’t mean that I’d choose it… but, isn’t it a gift?I’ve got a long road ahead… but if you cannot tell from this newsletter, I’m not letting anything get in the way of my purpose. I can’t. Even if just a few more people realize that they aren’t alone, this work is important and it’s an blessing to do it.Closing out on a high note!! Guys!! I finally published the website!! Click HERE to check out wehavetoshare.com. Please give me any and all feedback. I already know that my next big chunk of time will be developing the retail merchandise (my mommy wants a Share. Tee that’s a v-neck 3/4 length sleeve lol. Gotta get mama what she wants). I’m also looking to probably switch drop ship vendors … so, any suggestions are appreciated. I want to have a much wider variety of options in the store.But I’m EXCITED about it!! The website took a lot of work but I just had to pace myself and chip away with it. One day in a manic mood, I was able to bring all of the pieces together to push through to the end and get it published. It’s another huge win for this season!! Go check it out when you can!!Guys I’m in a very profound season of both. Blessings and Bruises are prevalent. Filling days and draining days can be the same day but no matter how I look at it, we’re so blessed. To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

1:07pm CST - 3.20.22I almost forced it y’all. Honestly, I got so fired up about this week’s topic that I almost forced the episode and I was about to ship later today, even though I was not going to make the 3pm deadline. I almost forced it. Now, I want to be clear about something. I could have delivered something that you would have read and/or listened to and probably enjoyed. I DO have enough of the meat of this topic to publish something. That’s where I think I got a little ahead of myself. I’ve been studying “Peace Versus Apathy” and it’s been SUCH a treasure trove for me. I always want these posts to be something that helps to “teach people to share their blessings and bruises to connect with love and empathy”… right? Well, if it ain’t done teaching ME… I ain’t allowed to teach it, you dig? This topic is bringing more and more revelation about relationships that I’ve had, about my tendency to cut things out of my life versus process them and heal from them. I need more time with this topic. I need to do more research. I need to post this when I’ve been taught. But I almost forced it!! I was going to publish it today. This week, a friend asked me what “my goals were for the weekend”. I had some, but I was embarrassed by how stupid they sounded. Honestly. I was in a ton of pain and pain makes the immediate goal for you “STOP FEELING PAIN”. Haha… but I still listed my couple/few things that I wanted to do. Clean(ish) the kitchen, do laundry, fill up my water bottles… obviously, publish my weekly newsletter is on that list. I think what I did, though, was I went back into “Joel Mode”. I’ve made several “lists of things to do” since this conversation and it was only a couple days ago. I’m a DOer. I gotta be careful of the “DOer” Joel. That guy can get a little bit out of control, to be honest. Matter of fact, If I’m being completely honest, this season… Has felt the MOST like it was trying to teach me to be gentle with myself and to be better at relying on “God to handle it”. It’s SO not Joel. I used to say that I was able to “create money out of thin air” and I kinda could. Working in the service industry all my life, I’ve been in a lot of weird financial situations and I’ve always been able to pick up a shift, get a client, book a gig… somethin. This season has humbled that ego. This season has made it so clear that I need other people, it’s taught me how to accept help, it’s taught me to listen to my body, it’s taught me to be GENTLE with Joel. The lists are good because I forget a lot of things these days. Listen… these drugs are wild. lol. But the lists… the DOer… the goals… the deadlines…. they all come second to me being healthy and me doing my best to take care of myself. I think this is the post I’m supposed to publish today because I think this is a really hard concept for most of us. The other day, my buddy told me that he had his own business, that he had a 40 hour a week job AND that he had a part-time gig. The first thing I did (besides feel a little jealous that he could actually work that much…physically, lol) was to say something applauding his “hustle”. I think my exact words were ‘Ok Hustla… I see you!’What? Even I fall into that trap. I know that my buddy deals with depression and anxiety and mental health issues too… and I’m sitting here egging him on for killing himself with work?! What the heck is wrong with me? Why is this so NORMAL for us? Don’t worry… I caught it and walked it back, QUICK! He’d ultimately confess that he was in a place of discernment about the value and impact of working so much to his mental health. I have another couple buddies that are making bank doing a job that takes them all over the state … and they hate it. Love the money… obviously… but it’s taking a toll on their life. I won’t be happier than when they tell me that they have found something that makes them happy to go to work AND it pays the bills. I was awake at 4am, this morning, writing. All I could think about was failing at delivering by 3pm. That’s how I eventually passed out… anticipating failing. Angry that my week had so much BS that I didn’t have more time to work on my passion project. I almost forced it… I was going to ship the newsletter later tonight. I knew I needed at least 5 more hours… wait… is this a book? Is this supposed to be something I work on “alongside of” this newsletter? And then my kid walked in the room. “Dad, later today, after you finish recording your podcast, can we go outside?” Go outside… It’s her spring break. I haven’t thought of anything to do with her because all I can think about lately is April rent. She wants to “GO OUTSIDE” and All I’m thinking about in all of my Joel-ness is how I can DO something that’s probably not supposed to even be DONE today. In that moment, I felt like I got a new agenda. Tell people that you almost forced it, make sure they are looking for the places in their own lives where they are “forcing it”, then go outside… with your kid… and let her show you all the things that she’s learned while managing the boy’s volleyball team at school. Go sit your gimpy fat ass in the grass for a little while on this 60 degree day. Enjoy it. Go do THAT. “Peace versus Apathy” not only WILL wait, it SHOULD wait…. But you were gonna force it. Phew… I’m glad I didn’t. Peace and Love people. Be gentle with yourself… don’t force it. I promise… it’s better if you don’t. -jdbTo give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 I have exciting news to share: You can now read Share. The Newsletter in the new Substack app for iPhone.With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters, or stuck in spam. Longer posts will never cut-off by your email app. Comments and rich media will all work seamlessly. Overall, it’s a big upgrade to the reading experience.The Substack app is currently available for iOS. If you don’t have an Apple device, you can join the Android waitlist here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I took a shot for the first time in 2 years…Oh relax it was communion.Yes. I snapped a picture as my friend prayed for us before we took communion today. While fully in tears. I didn’t exactly know why I was taking the picture but I knew I had to before he finished the prayer. You gotta remember… I’m a dad and content creator… I took this picture without even unlocking my phone or losing a word of the prayer.I took communion, today, for the first time in over 2 years.I woke up in a SHITload of pain today. Couldn’t sleep til about 5am. Could only sleep til about 8:30am. In and out of consciousness for the next couple hours.My boy AC called me. Said he was gonna slide through in a little bit. He came around 11:30am and I was about to get in the shower. I’m so socially “out of practice” now… I didn’t know what to do when he said that he was at my apartment and I was about to shower. I forgot that he’s one of my best friends and he can literally just sit on the couch and watch TV til I’m done. Or maybe it was the pain… it makes you feel a little crazy. Honestly. Either way, I let him in. Showered. And when I got out and finished getting dressed, I could hear him on the phone pastoring someone. It was funny because he apologized for being on the phone, but for me, I loved it. This house has BEEN a house that ministry lives for some time now… just cool to hear another pastor in it.I came out after his call and he handed me this little communion cup and wafer pack.Do you have sacred moments? Moments where time slows down a bit… focus increases… maybe you experience quietness? It doesn’t have to be a religious experience either. I can think of watching my kid sleep … everything melts away and I can just feel the stillness and the calm.One of the definitions I found said that sacred is “connected with God” … it can totally be for worship (as in this moment I was entering) but I think we can find sacredness outside of the traditional religious construct quite often, actually.Anyway… I was blindsided by a sacred moment. As I made it to the couch, he gave me this to-go communion cup. I’ve seen the before and I remember thinking that this was VERY Covid inspired. No one is touching your wafer or pouring your wine/juice. It’s all included.But…I hadn’t had this sacred moment for over 2 years. I wept.For those of you who aren’t religious … first of all. Never change. Haha. But… if you are wondering about the significance of the act of communion and what it means to ME…. I want to briefly explain it.We learn in the Bible that on the night before Jesus was to be arrested and tortured and executed… there was a “last supper”.Leonardo Da Vinci - You can find this story in the Bible in Matthew 26:17–29; Mark 14:12–25; Luke 22:7–38; and I Corinthians 11:23–25).Jesus was a very very good teacher and He always used elements that His audience could identify with for His illustrations. He took bread, gave thanks for it, and he broke it. “Take and eat, this is my body.” He then took wine and poured it in a cup and blessed it and said “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” ‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭26:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬)In this moment, you can get the meaning of Jesus’ entire ministry. He came to earth in a human body that would be broken (bread = His physical form broken) and sacrificed (wine = His sacred blood spilled), in order to forgive our sins. Communion is the remembrance and agreement with that sacrifice. It’s a sacred act (FOR ME) because it takes me back to that moment where it clicked that this sacrifice was for ME and for MY forgiveness and to have an intimate and personal relationship with my Father in heaven.I was telling AC today… since I was 12, I knew that I had to be the man of my house. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that at age 13 I understood the sacrifice that God made for ME (Joel Barnes) and it was a personal and intimate act of love and sacrifice. I needed to be able to KNOW my Heavenly Father EARLY because my earthly father was trippin trippin.So this. Moment. Helps me to be still and be connected to my Dad because He sacrifices and loves me dearly.I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t had this sacred moment in over 2… years. I was crying because even the pain disappeared in that moment. I was full of gratitude and remembrance and holiness. It was powerful. I missed it. And then I ordered a box of Togo communion cups to be shipped to the crib. Why? Because anyone who comes over… if the spirit leads… we’re going to take communion together. Or if no one comes over, Hannah and I will be taking communion at least once a month. I wanna remember… I want to hold space for honor and respect for the God who is carrying me through.AC would tell me to speak my healing into existence. And I do. I expect 200% healing. Better than new. Matter of fact, I know that I’m already healed… however today… my body hasn’t caught up to that promise yet. But It will. I’m in full confidence.Why do you think I bought a box of 100 communion kits?! Because eventually we’ll take communion together at a Share. Meeting and I wanna be prepared!! Lol.I told the story because today, AC was nudged by the spirit to bring me communion and he listened to it and followed through… He had no idea that it had been two years since I had partaken. But God did. AC listened to that nudge. You have probably been getting a nudge to do something for someone… I would just encourage you to do it. You never know what that person is going through and how God can use you to break that cycle of pain.Now… full disclosure… I’ve had to take a LOT of pain meds today. I’ve been in bed 100% of the day. I’m not discouraged that the pain didn’t stop… I’m encouraged that God’s got people bringing me communion on my most painful days. I’m encouraged that ministry is coming OUT of this apartment almost every single DAY, even if it’s from my freakin BACK. I’m encouraged that my spirit is strong … even when I’m mentally frazzled and losin it, my spirit is strong. Even when my whole body hurts most days… my spirit is strong.Encourage someone’s spirit today.I dare you.Oh. And y’all see where the money goes for your $7/month subscriptions!! Hahaha. It’s communion this month. It was website renewal last month… this project is supporting me. My addiction is spending money on things for the ministry. “Hi, I’m Joel and I’m a ministry-a-holic”.Y’all need to just go on and support my habit. Haha. Click HERE to subscribe or HERE to gift a subscription.I have exciting news to share: You can now read Share. The Newsletter in the new Substack app for iPhone.With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters, or stuck in spam. Longer posts will never cut-off by your email app. Comments and rich media will all work seamlessly. Overall, it’s a big upgrade to the reading experience.The Substack app is currently available for iOS. If you don’t have an Apple device, you can join the Android waitlist here.To give:Venmo: @joeldavidbarnesCashapp: $joeldavidbarnesZelle: [email protected] follow:Discord invite link: https://discord.gg/y2bsPZ6mTwitter: @wehavetoshareTwitter: @joeldavidbarnesIG: @wehavetoshareIG: @joeldavidbarnesFB: /wehavetoshare1 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe