PODCAST · comedy
Smarty Pants Lance
by SmartyPantsLance
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, about politics, sports, and religion? Smarty Pants Lance is for people who'd like well-crafted, observational humor. People who know laughter is the best medicine! In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance, a long-time criminal and civil trial lawyer- hold your applause- shares his unique point of view inspired by all manner of everyday, and not so everyday, topics. Topics include, but are not limited to- who else but an attorney would use such a phrase- cat people versus dog people, college days, being an actor extra in a movie, commercial or TV show, personal styles, cheapskates, slobs versus neatniks, dating apps, things people say but don't mean, weekends, flakes, medical doctors, a-holes, airlines. looks, getting locked out, membership warehouse stores You're invited to take a quick break, and enjoy a laugh, as Smarty Pants Lance weaves stories and descriptions containing a happ
Episodes
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Today's Music Sucks And So Did Disco Duck
Lance talks about today's pop and country music and why it sucks. He opines it's a filtering issue. There's just no filter on what flushes down the internet stream. There used to be record companies and radio and TV programmers standing guard. Though, all of them must have been asleep at the…
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Sex Sells, Clickbait Yells.
Lance teases about clickbait, air-headed celebrity endorsements, how sex sells- well, duh- and why he keeps getting click bait on Meta- which he still calls Face Book- about a photo of side boob of some model he's never heard of nor cares about. Are jingles superior sales tools compared to celeb...
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Lookin' For Work in All The Zoom Places.
Lance talks about employment interviews. He begins by telling us about work he did as a kid and for which he didn't apply. This work is known as, "chores." With marketing know-how, Lance suggests a new name for chores: "Blessings." "Hey, son, I've a few blessings for you to give the family. You…
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Better Mousetrap
Lance builds a better mousetrap thinking that'll lead to great success. It's what he heard during his growin' up years. Did building a better mousetrap help him get ahead in a government job? Hah, no. What about when he built a better one for private employers? PFFFHAHAHA, norious. Where did…
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Somethin' Somethin Turned Nothin' Nothin'
Lance describes how his plans for not just a little, but a lot, of "somthin' somethin" turned into nothin' nothin over a four day weekend. There was always some darned excuse: too tired from the week, too bloated and gassy after that outrageously expensive dinner, drank too much, again, and the,...
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Christmas Is For Drinking, Sort Of
With nine days before Christmas, Lance starts thinking about Christmas adult beverages. This gets him thinking about adult beverages, in general. He's a nauseous, no on, "The Nog," and not a connoisseur of wines- reds taste like Dr. Pepper, grapes, and alcohol, while, whites only taste like just...
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The Cookie Monster
Lance talks about Uber-- Uber annoying people (person) he got stuck behind at a booth selling luxury cookies at a local street fair. He gets triggered by a woman holding others up at his favorite cookie stand by asking one stupid question after another. She wastes everybody's time and then she...
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A Day On A Movie Set
Smarty Pants Lance takes you into the kitchen to share some of how movie are made. Ol' Smarty is from the south, don't ya know, and he comes a callin' to see where a co-worker is at. His scene features a petite albino and her giant raven-haired sister. Why didn't he just call ahead? Lance shares…
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Quirky Courtroom Antics
Smarty Pants Lance was and is a licensed attorney at law in California. A large part of his legal practice was criminal defense. Beaver Clever sez: No foolin'! In this episode, Lance describes quirky courtroom antics, the difference between infractions, misdemeanors, and felonies, police...
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Is The First Time The Best Time?
Smarty Pants Lance, inspired by the Foreigner song, "Feels Like The First Time," questions whether the first time the best time? Introduced by The Duke himself, John Wayne, Lance tells the tale of his first three times, or attempts which included, among other things, a Pith Helmut a la…
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Do looks matter? How?
Smarty Pants Lance takes a look at a person's looks. Do looks matter? Do people look like their pets, cars, environments? What about a person's character? We've all known some "characters" haven't we? Do better looking people have an easier life? Make more money? As the song says, is everything...
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The Cost in Costco
Smarty Pants Lance dons his visor and sleeve garter, grabs his adding machine, and totals up the cost in Costco and other discount membership warehouse stores. Go right on in, have a look around, and find bargains galore! A bargain is something you don't really need, at a price you can't afford…
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Smarty Pants Lance- Mander T. Commander- A Shaggy Dog Story
In this, change-of-pace, episode, Smarty Pants Lance waxes sentimentally about his long ago and dearly departed rescue- a Husky mix- he named, Amanda or "Mander T. Commander." Was it fate or coincidence that brought then together? Lance prefers to believe it was fate. You decide. The correct…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, about politics, sports, and religion?
Smarty Pants Lance is for people who'd like well-crafted, observational humor. People who know laughter is the best medicine!
In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance, a long-time criminal and civil trial lawyer- hold your applause- shares his unique point of view inspired by all manner of everyday, and not so everyday, topics.
Topics include, but are not limited to- who else but an attorney would use such a phrase- cat people versus dog people, college days, being an actor extra in a movie, commercial or TV show, personal styles, cheapskates, slobs versus neatniks, dating apps, things people say but don't mean, weekends, flakes, medical doctors, a-holes, airlines. looks, getting locked out, membership warehouse stores
You're invited to take a quick break, and enjoy a laugh, as Smarty Pants Lance weaves stories and descriptions containing a happ
HOSTED BY
SmartyPantsLance
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Smarty Pants Lance have?
Smarty Pants Lance currently has 13 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Smarty Pants Lance about?
Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, about politics, sports, and religion? Smarty Pants Lance is for people who'd like well-crafted, observational humor. People who know laughter is the best medicine! In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance, a long-time criminal and civil trial...
How often does Smarty Pants Lance release new episodes?
Smarty Pants Lance has 13 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Smarty Pants Lance?
You can listen to Smarty Pants Lance on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Smarty Pants Lance?
Smarty Pants Lance is created and hosted by SmartyPantsLance.
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