Sort of a Pound

🚨 Missed us already? We said we were on hiatus… but here’s a surprise special. Get extra chaos on Patreon → patreon.com/SortofaPoundGuess what? We lied. Sort of. Shane and Louise can’t resist popping in with a bonus episode packed with TV rants, nostalgic throwbacks, and accidental life hacks you didn’t know you needed.From heartbreak over The Last of Us (major spoilers, fair warning!) to Ghost Whisperer’s ghostly nonsense and a total meltdown about Heart of Dixie, it’s a whiplash tour through everything we love and hate about TV endings. Tessie’s here too, freshly trimmed and deeply unimpressed.Also featuring: shopping bargains turned into TV stands, easels that double as telly props, Schitt’s Creek love letters, and big plans for the next SOAP era. We said we’d rest. We failed.📺 TV shows that broke our hearts (Spooks, Walking Dead, Ghost Whisperer) 🎮 The Last of Us rant: spoiler alert! 🖼️ Louise’s antique easel life hack 🎬 Heartland, One Tree Hill & other 00s classics 📚 Wishlist for Pounder-made SOAP Wiki 🎉 A peek at what’s next when we’re back properly💌 Got a TV heartbreak story? Share it with us on Patreon - even free Pounders are welcome.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Dive into our Patreon for bonus stories, holiday mishaps & a peek behind the scenes → patreon.com/SortofaPoundIt’s our 20th episode! Shane and Louise celebrate with an unplanned whirlwind of holiday tales, money-saving hacks, and Tessie’s new haircut reveal.From epic outlet shopping in Vegas, to spontaneous ziplining fears, jellyfish stings in Miami and the weirdest dog grooming confessions - it’s the ultimate holiday special you never asked for.There’s tales of High School Musical pilgrimages, discount coupon miracles in CVS, random car hire rants, and Shane’s accidental spoiler about his wrestling tag match finish. Plus, big news: we’re taking a short summer break to plot new segments and come back bigger, funnier, and probably just as chaotic.✈️ Favourite holidays and dream destinations 🐕 Tessie’s fresh trim drama 📸 Glastonbury in the garden 🏖️ Jellyfish stings & room service chaos 💸 US outlet malls & monster shopping hauls 🤼‍♂️ Shane’s wrestling backstage spoiler 🌴 Secret stories from Vegas, Utah, Miami & beyond 🔮 The future of Sort of a Pound!💌 Got your own ridiculous holiday tale? Share it on Patreon — even our free Pounders get the inside scoop!🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Want to brag about your best bargain? Join our Patreon for bonus clips, confessionals & exclusive content → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week, Shane and Louise accidentally become Martin Lewis Live. From broadband nightmares to miracle Nike trainers, it’s a full-blown consumer champion episode - but with more swearing and fewer facts.Shane gets a Sky deal so good it sounds illegal. Louise reminisces about broadband being buried in his garden. And parcel delivery disasters spark a nationwide call to arms (and refund chatbots).👟 Louise finds spiritual enlightenment in Nike Air Max 📺 Sky Glass, Netflix, broadband & somehow a new TV 📦 Parcels yeeted over gates, microwaves flung into gardens 🧾 Claiming refunds like a pro-level Karen 📉 RIP to BT and the worst customer service known to man 🎁 We want your Pounder Power Bargains!💌 Got a bargain, botched delivery or refund hack? Tell us on Patreon (even the free tier can share the goods).🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon for behind-the-scenes chaos, exclusive extras, and early access → patreon.com/SortofaPoundIn this episode, Shane and Louise go full goth glam at a mis-numbered birthday party (Happy 34th Danielle!), reminisce about their wild office snack habits, and reveal the ridiculous reality of cleaning when you live with a moulting dog. Plus:🧼 The Dust Bunny Diaries 🥪 Cheese & Pickle Mountains 🧹 Hoover hacks and second-hand Dyson drama 🕵️‍♀️ Louise’s secret safe under the floorboards 🪞 Sabrina the Teenage Witch is 30?! Existential crisis incoming 📦 A hidden room behind a freezer? Real-life mystery house reveal 🔥 Why log burners are secretly plotting against your clean floorsOh - and it’s confirmed: Shane’s hoarding cables, Louise has no memory, and Tessie is shedding for the nation.💌 Got a cleaning confession, weird old house story, or secret stash find? Send it to us on Patreon (even on the free tier!)🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon to get exclusive clips, early access, and bonus chaos → patreon.com/SortofaPoundWe're back in the same room (finally) and diving headfirst into unfiltered chaos: from red underwear under white dresses to confiscated biscuits at Shane’s wrestling debut. Louise shares the ultimate fashion life hack, Shane opens up about the nerves and triumphs of main eventing his first ever match (and the kid who shouted “I love you!”), and we debate whether you can style a t-shirt.👙 The red underwear revelation 🤼‍♂️ Shane’s epic wrestling debut 🍪 Biscuits confiscated at the door!? 👗 T-shirt styling advice no one asked for 💡 Viral life hacks that make NO sense 🧠 Wrestling psychology and accidental hugs 🎤 Plans for the next big wrestling showWe’re calling this one: the bodyslams, the bum bags, and the bloody bins.💌 Got a confession, wrestling tale or wardrobe malfunction? Share it with us on Patreon (even on the free tier!) - and you might hear it on the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon for exclusive clips, behind-the-scenes rants, and early access → patreon.com/SortofaPound From ancient aliens to antihistamines, this episode has everything: scientific “facts,” savage comment replies, and a questionable honey-related trauma. 🫐 Blueberries, broccoli & bollocks 🐊 Crocodiles older than trees? 🧠 Massive brains and microwave myths 🧴 Vaseline up your nostrils (yes, really) 💊 Hayfever injections & GP battles 📚 Aztecs, pyramids & wild conspiracies 🍯 Childhood honey trauma (trigger warning) Plus, why Tessie gets a haircut, Louise wants a PhD just for the title “Doctor,” and Louise teaches us the price of bee labour. 💌 Got a conspiracy theory, near-death story or fruit fact to share? Message us via Patreon—even the free tier gets access to submission! 🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon to get exclusive clips, early access, and some truly unhinged overshares → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week, Louise is away, so AI Louise steps in to keep Shane company—and the chaos is very real. We dig through never-before-heard Patreon extras, revisit a traumatic (and nearly explosive) train commute, and descend into the filthiest, funniest university story you’ve ever heard. We’re talking diarrhoea disasters, tattoo regrets, and the mystery of “Matey”.💩 Shane’s pizza-fuelled near-miss on a packed train 🤖 AI Louise is here (against her will?) 🎓 Uni confessions involving tights, sick, and a full-blown panic clean 📱 Tattoo reveals gone very, very wrong 👃 The house that stank for days 📟 Meet “Matey”… if you darePlus: we want YOUR stories for the show—embarrassing, mortifying, or outright illegal (we won’t judge). Message us on Patreon or socials and join the chaos.🎙 Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Become a Pounder and get exclusive bonus clips, video episodes, and more → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week we take a chaotic deep-dive into the world of TV and film - both nostalgic and absolutely unhinged.🎥 Shane recalls the VHS from childhood he finally tracked down (Mumfie, anyone?), Shane remembers a BBC school show she never saw the end of, and we spiral from Star Wars edits to... steampunk time-travel mysteries.Also in the episode:🦑 Was Jabba the Hutt originally a man?👻 The movie that made Shane throw popcorn📼 How an old tape from a birthday party never included the end of the show!?🛑 Louise goes full Karen (then gets gifted a tin of biscuits)🎬 Your controversial film takes: the Pounders weigh in on Hunger Games, Point Break, and “whatever El Topo is…”📺 Plus: childhood telly, forgotten endings, and series that deserved better.Got a weird film you loved and no one else did? Or a school TV show that’s been lost to time? Tell us on Patreon (even the free tier) and we’ll shout it out on the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Regret nothing. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon for exclusive clips, early access & behind-the-scenes chaos → patreon.com/SortofaPoundIn this episode, Shane’s prepping for his first wrestling match (and covering bruises with fake tan), Louise takes a wrestling crash course (with some creative guesses), and Tessie’s on a mission to find Hugo’s missing balls. Plus, there’s toenail trauma, lizard-like regeneration, and a few “OnlyFans” business ideas gone very, very wrong.🩰 Socks & Crocs—an underrated combo?🥊 Wrestling bruises & botched fake tan cover-ups🤼‍♀️ Shane teaches Louise the basics of wrestling (badly)🦎 Shane’s “lizard toe” incident you’ll wish you could unhear💅 Nose waxing disasters before the big day🐶 Tessie’s accidental car horn hijinks😂 The secret behind Shane’s wedding day makeup💡 Future plans: wrestling villains, new moves & mid-30s survival💌 Got an ick, a toe horror story, or a better idea for our OnlyFans than Gimp masks? Message us on Patreon (even the free tier!).🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Become a Pounder on Patreon for more chaos, exclusives, and AI-generated nonsense → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week, AI takes over. Literally. Shane and Louise are technically still here, but they've let AI clone their voices, write their theme song, generate Shane's wrestling entrance music, clean up photos, and maybe—just maybe—replace them entirely. From fake Donald Trump skydives to AI selling you bin stores, this episode spirals into the future faster than you can say “glitch in the matrix.”🤖 AI Shane vs AI Louise: the battle for podcast dominance 🎵 Our brand-new theme tune... written by robots 📸 Bin store makeovers and dream gardens via AI 📽️ Deepfakes, fake meetings, and faking your entire job? 🐕 Dog loyalty in a post-apocalyptic wastelandPlus: the scariest AI use cases we’ve seen (and used), how AI is replacing everything—including you—and why you might already be living in a simulation run by ChatGPT.💌 Got an AI story, a terrifying deepfake, or a photo cleanup that went too far? Send it to us via Patreon and it might end up on the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people.

🚨 Join our Patreon to get exclusive clips, behind-the-scenes chaos, and the stuff we can’t say in public → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week, we spiral into full conspiracy mode: aliens, Illuminati, Katy Perry in space, and the burning question—is the Candy Kittens guy secretly a biscuit mogul? Also on the agenda: Waitrose jelly beans, wedding sweet tables, and the infamous "student loans tech scandal" (yes, that’s a thing now).💊 Vitamin D mushrooms are back (we’re still not medical professionals) 📺 Shane's secret cameo on Made in Chelsea 👽 Did humans time-travel to help the Egyptians build pyramids? 📼 Rewatching X-Files and believing every word 🕵️‍♂️ Madeleine McCann, TikTok theories, and fading YouTube streams 💻 Why the Student Loans Company might be proof the world isn't run by mastermindsPlus: Louise has a whole thesis on cooked blueberries, frozen sweets, and why jelly beans are the ultimate snack.💌 Got a theory? Or something that’s definitely not a conspiracy but totally is? Let us know via Patreon (even the free tier!) and it might make the next pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Trust no one. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon for early access, exclusive extras, and all the chaos → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week we go full-on film buff with classics, catastrophes, and conspiracy-level cinema. We’re joined by Mother Pounder Lisa to discuss the movies we love, the ones we should love but don’t, and the ones that messed us up as kids. (Looking at you, Pinocchio.)🎬 Childhood faves ruined in adulthood 📼 Delayed gratification: who stops a film on purpose?! 👽 Remember the McPherson Tapes? We do. 🍽️ Sarah Michelle Gellar’s crab love story?? 🛸 Radio 4, aliens, and cinema panic in the 1900s 🪐 Interstellar obsession and a LOT of thoughts about InceptionPlus: the haunting magic of Adolescence, Christmas gifts from “Santa”, and a full fangirl breakdown over BBC’s Mishal Husain.💌 Got a weird film memory, an underrated classic, or just want to scream about Shutter Island with us? Tell us via Patreon (even on the free tier) and it might end up on the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon to get exclusive clips, early access, and behind-the-scenes chaos! → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week, Shane’s got cupping bruises, a match with Miguel, and a childhood trauma involving a garden roller. Louise reveals she’s using AI to redesign her garden, and Pounder Mum joins the pod with tales of bloody dentists and phobias of used plasters.🧠 Dropped on the head = genius?📦 AI garden glow-ups & rustic Pinterest dreams💪 Wrestling injuries and cup therapy🦷 Frothy toothpaste, bloody saliva, and tooth extractions🩹 The horror of used plasters🐕 Tuppence the dog & grave-digging flashbacksAlso: ChatGPT redecorating, vibrating toothbrushes, and the truth about Dalmatians.💌 Got a wild childhood story, irrational ick, or confession to share? Send it to us via Patreon (even on the free tier!) and it might just make the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon to get exclusive clips, early access, and behind-the-scenes chaos! → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week, Shane reveals the highs (and total cardio lows) of his first full wrestling match, Louise ends up elbow-deep in mystery drain goo, and we read two of the wildest Pounder confessions yet – including one involving a fake death, a burner phone, and a full-on memorial service for a person who never existed.💪 Shane’s wrestling debut (and botched suplex)🪦 Catfishing... that led to a FUNERAL?💻 Zoom call gone very, very wrong🧻 Tampons, sweetcorn & drains (you’ve been warned)👀 Eye phobias, optician scams & childhood trauma🧼 The things they don’t teach you in schoolAlso: things that give us the ick (winkers beware), eating fingernails, picking spots, and other confessions you’ll wish you could un-hear.💌 Got an ick, a confession, or an accidental crime to share? DM us on Patreon (even on the free tier!) and it might end up on the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon to get exclusive clips, early access, and more juicy chaos! → patreon.com/SortofaPoundThis week we go from turmeric lattes to trauma haircuts in the most chaotic episode yet. Shane confesses his hair history, Louise reveals her wardrobe addiction, and one Pounder shares a uni story involving a heartbreak, a wellness reinvention, and one very preachy vegan flatmate.✂️ Hairdresser therapy sessions🧴 Grey hair panic and the Jedward phase🍄 Mushrooms on the windowsill?!🐶 The dog’s gone away with “Fatty”👢 Three bin liners of boots (is it a problem?)Plus: cinnamon challenges, manifesting nonsense, and the ultimate wardrobe cull.💌 Got a uni story, wild night out, or wardrobe meltdown to confess? Send it to us via Patreon (even the free tier!) and it might end up on the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

🚨 Join our Patreon to get exclusive clips, early access, and more juicy chaos! → patreon.com/SortofaPoundGet ready for the most unhinged ride yet: karaoke wonders, nearly being abducted after a fancy dress party, a ride on horseback up the mountains, and THAT time Shane accidentally lost the final episode of a uni drama series for years. 🙈🎤 Drunken duets 🚗 Wild uni party confessions 🐎 Horseback horror stories 🎬 Lost tapes scandal 💀 Near-death moments (again!) 🤯 One dream. One boat. One desperate need for the loo.From sledgehammers to spontaneous strip downs, it's one outrageous story after another.💌 Got a hookup tale, uni chaos, or your own story to confess? Send it to us via Patreon (even on the free tier!) and you might just hear it on the pod.🎙️ Subscribe now. Laugh later. Pound away, people!

JOIN THE POUNDERS: patreon.com/SortofaPound🚨 WE’VE MADE IT TO EPISODE 5… SOMEHOW! 🚨This week, we’re joined by our very first live Pounder Guest — Sarah! And honestly… she may have outdated photos, fish-holding men, catfish panto actors and video call panic attacks BEAT when it comes to online dating disasters.From near-death experiences involving naked ceiling falls, bloodied toes at Ascot, riverside rescues, and broken bones, to the rise of unsolicited D-pics and awkward flatmate revenge, this episode somehow manages to be chaotic, hilarious, painful, petty, and probably our most unhinged yet.🔥 In this episode: 💘 Sarah’s spectacularly tragic dating stories 📸 A dating profile pic that turned into a full panto reveal 📦 Why you should never trust a man holding a fish 📱 Video call ambushes & WhatsApp rejections 🪵 Naked beam-walking that ended in literal disaster 🩹 Graze-covered limbs, escalator tumbles & Olympic-level river escapes 🔪 A mug-smashing revenge story gone horribly wrong 👻 A haunted flat in Dollis Hill (yes, with an old woman ghost) 💥 And so many “WTF just happened” moments, we lost countThis episode contains strong opinions, chaos energy, nudity (theoretically), near-death drama, and the realisation that we might need to calm down.🎧 Listen now across Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more! 💰 For bonus clips, full extras, and behind-the-scenes stories → patreon.com/SortofaPound👊 Pound away, people! 💥

JOIN THE POUNDERS: patreon.com/SortofaPound🚨 THIS MIGHT BE THE MOST CHAOTIC EPISODE YET! 🚨We’re diving deep into online dating disasters, bathroom confessions, and one of the weirdest first date encounters ever. From catfish pilots to a guy who refused to eat cauliflower cheese, this episode is packed with tragic, hilarious, and completely baffling moments.🔥 In This Episode:🚽 Are You a Stand-Up or Sit-Down Wiper? – We NEED to settle this once and for all.💔 Online Dating Nightmares – Ghosting, strange habits, and people still using profile pics from 2010.😂 The ‘Pilot’ Who Dressed Like a Bus Driver – When first impressions go very wrong.🍽️ The Man Who Refused to Eat Veg Until His Meat Was Finished?! – Is this a red flag?😳 A Date Fell Asleep Mid-Conversation – Was it me… or was he just really tired?🛏️ People Who Sleepwalk & Pee in the Wrong Places… Including Someone’s Wardrobe.This podcast isn’t just ours—it’s YOURS. Have you had a dating disaster, a ghosting experience, or a first date so weird it belongs in a movie? Tell us your stories, and we might feature them in a future episode!🎧 Want More Madness? Join our Patreon Pounders for exclusive content, unfiltered bonus episodes, and the chance to be part of the show! 🎙️🔥📢 Follow & Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode!📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sortofapound📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@sortofapound▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SortofaPound🔥 Your stories. Your voice. Your podcast. Now, Pounders—Pound away, people! 👊💥

JOIN THE POUNDERS: patreon.com/SortofaPound 🚨BECAUSE THIS PODCAST IS CHAOS & IT’S YOURS TOO!🚨This week, Sort of a Pound is bringing you celebrity encounters gone horribly wrong, first-world problems that shouldn’t be problems, and a public scandal in a pub involving Hollyoaks cast members and… finger-blasting?! Yes. You read that right.🔥 In This Episode: 🏉 Jeremy Clarkson Called Him WHAT?! – A Pounder shares his polite encounter with the Top Gear legend. 🎬 Hollyoaks Cast Running a Pub? – What started as a quiet drink ended in a shocking eviction. 🪄 The Hermione Granger Incident – Why you should never approach a celebrity by their character’s name. 🏠 First World Problems, DIY Disasters & Champagne Struggles – Amazon, council tax, and the most privileged complaints of all time. 🛠️ Unpopular Opinions & Near-Death Experiences – Because why not make things even more dramatic?This podcast is as much yours as it is ours. Got a ridiculous celebrity story or an unpopular opinion that will divide the room? Send it in, and you might just get featured next week!🎧 Want Even More Madness? Join our Patreon Pounders for exclusive content, unfiltered bonus episodes, and the chance to be part of the show! 🎙️🔥💰 Join The Pounders on Patreon! → patreon.com/SortofaPound📢 Follow & Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sortofapound 📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@sortofapound ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SortofaPound🔥 Your stories. Your voice. Your podcast. Now, Pounders—Pound away, people! 👊💥

🚨 BACK FOR MORE CHAOS? EPISODE 2 IS HERE! 🚨Somehow, you survived Episode 1, and now we're officially in too deep. This week, we’ve got stolen boyfriends, accidental celebrity stalking, and pole dancing for free chicken. Yep, you read that right.🔥 In This Episode:🍗 The Nando’s That Never Was – A Pounder’s story of dating show disasters, lap dances, and betrayal!🚗 Stalking David Beckham (…by mistake) – What do you do when you accidentally follow a football legend into a dead-end street?🎙️ First Impressions Gone Wrong – Including sanitizer-obsessed colleagues and handshake fails.💻 The MSN Prank That Went Too Far – What happens when two kids catfish their grandma’s best friend?🕺 Lap Dances & Pole Dancing—Have We Gone Too Far?!This podcast is as much yours as it is ours! Got a hilarious, awkward, or downright ridiculous story? Send it in, and we might just feature it next week!🎧 Want Even More Madness? Join our Patreon Pounders for exclusive content, unfiltered bonus episodes, and the chance to be part of the show! 🎙️🔥💰 Join The Pounders on Patreon! → patreon.com/SortofaPound📢 Follow & Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode!📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sortofapound📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@sortofapound▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SortofaPound🔥 Your stories. Your voice. Your podcast. Now, Pounders—Pound away, people! 👊💥

🚨 THE SORT OF A POUND PODCAST IS HERE! 🚨Welcome to Sort of a Pound (SOAP), the podcast where anything goes, and most importantly, this isn’t just our show—it’s YOURS too! 🎙️In our chaotic debut episode, we introduce ourselves (Shane & Louise) and give you a taste of what’s to come—hilarious oversharing, wild stories, and unexpected tangents. Think of this as a friendly pub chat that goes off the rails—fast.🔥 In This Episode: 🧳 One Night in Poland, One Suitcase Too Many – Why did Shane pack for a month-long trip… for a one-night stay? 🩲 The Disposable Pants Incident – Louise’s unforgettable spa fail (yes, it’s exactly as bad as it sounds). 🏢 First Impressions Gone Wrong – From being warned about Shane’s sexuality (??) to questionable office encounters. 💬 The Pounders Decide! – This isn’t just our show—it’s YOURS. We want your funny, weird, and even serious stories!🎧 Want Even More Madness? Join our Patreon Pounders for exclusive content, unfiltered bonus episodes, and a chance to be part of the show! 🎙️💥💰 Join The Pounders on Patreon! → patreon.com/SortofaPound📢 Follow & Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode!📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sortofapound📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@sortofapound▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SortofaPound🔥 Your stories. Your voice. Your podcast. Now, Pounders—Pound away, people! 👊💥