Spencetology

A wise man once wrote, “No more pencils. No more books. No more teachers’ dirty looks.” This statement encompasses summer vacation. Hear a Kid’s take on Mother’s Day. Two and half months of freedom. Freedom from backpacks. Freedom from PB&Js. Freedom endless nagging about homework. (Understanding, of course, nagging is transferrable.) Create content for gas money. Introducing PumpHub As our resident child submits, “Summer break is like being unemployed.” Kinda makes sense. A kid’s job is school, right? For two and a half months, they ain’t gotta go to work. Here is an ordinary kid on Summer Break. The post A Kid on Summer Break appeared first on Spencetology.

As of the date of this post, the average price for a gallon of gas in the United States is $4.56. In February, before we attacked Iran, gas stood, nationally, at $2.98 per gallon. AI Data Centers are People Too You still have a commute every weekday. You still have to run errands. You’re not driving any less. So, somehow you have to figure out how to bridge that gap. Introducing PumpHub – America’s most stimulating side hustle. You know Only Fans, right? Well PumpHub is kinda like that, only you get paid in gas money. You post premium content and get paid in premium. And, with PornHub Plus, you can earn luxurious extras! For Mother’s Day hear the original song “It’s Your Mom’s Fault.” PumpHub – helping Americans get off…empty. Learn more: The post PumpHub appeared first on Spencetology.

AI data centers are popping up all over the country to meet the nation’s insatiable need to post more idiotic memes on Facebook. Hear a special song for a special lady on her special day. “It’s Your Mom’s Fault.” The electricity and water needed by even smaller data centers can equal the same amount required to run a small town. But, hey, you keep generating those 900 new versions of your podcast logo on DALL-E 3. Most Americans are excited about the possibilities of AI, but most of those same Americans do not want a data center in their backyard. Understandably, there’s a lot of negativity surrounding the creation of these AI data centers. We could all see it was just a matter of time before Kristi Noem was shown the exit. Here’s a song about it – “Noemward Bound.” The deluge of pessimistic reporting is affecting the feelings, albeit […] The post AI Data Centers are People Too appeared first on Spencetology.

As a younger man, I’ll admit to having a fantasy or two about a older broads. She was my best friend’s mom. Sexy, man. Sexy. Maybe I was fueled by the lyrics, “Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on.” You know, from that song. I don’t know. But she was hot, built like a woman, and seemed to flirt with me. I remember staying over at my buddy’s house and seeing her wearing clothes around the house that were unnecessarily titillating. It was those memories that brought me all the way to this parody song. It’s a fantasy come true. Using Demi Lovato’s “Cool for the Summer,” I made it so the song is about nailing that hot mom of your dreams. Here’s “I Slept with Your Mom.”  Originally posted September 8, 2015 It’s time for a sing-a-long: Brought you a croissant It’s what you like Freshly baked But your […] The post I Slept with Your Mother appeared first on Spencetology.

I sat down with Ms. Drew-Flanagan’s 1st-grade class at Bonner Elementary and simply asked each one of them questions about their moms. Things like: What makes your mom the best? What’s the best thing Mom makes to eat? And who would win a fight between your mom and Godzilla? You know, pretty standard stuff. When you’re six years old, your mom is the beginning and the end. So, not so surprisingly, most of the kids were pretty confident that moms would kick some giant lizard booty. Wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day 2026, please enjoy “Kids on Moms.? The post Kids on Moms appeared first on Spencetology.

When I Was Your Man (Mother’s Day) The post When I Was Your Man (Mother’s Day) appeared first on Spencetology.

I needed an Uber. I opened the app. I guess it had been a while, because I discovered there are no less than 57 different Uber choices available: UberX, UberXL, UberShare, UberElectric, and the list goes on and on and on. Hear a classic Mother’s Day song – “It’s Your Mom’s Fault.” It only makes sense that food delivery might venture down the same path. How about deliveries for just ice cream and candy – UberSweets, or for you carnivores – UberMeats. Hmmm? Yes. My idea was inspired by the totally not set up, not staged one bit, very authentic, and homespun delivery of McDonald’s to the White House by the self-proclaimed “DoorDash Grandma.” We hear he tipped her $100 and gave her a tour of what is left of the east wing. Remember AI Data Centers are people, too…artificial people, but people nonetheless. The concept of DoorDash Silver was […] The post Door Dash Silver appeared first on Spencetology.

These days, you have all kinds of niche accident-injury attorneys. You have your slip-n-falls. You’ve got your motorcycle injury lawyers, defective products, and the mesothelioma guys. If they can’t find a reason to sue, they’ll make one up. AI Data Centers are People Too That’s why this Easter, you need to have the protection of Easter Egg Accident-Injury Attorneys. They’re rabid rabbits when it comes to the rule of law. Trampled at a church Easter egg hunt? Loss of wages due to toxic egg dye? Dismemberment due to Uncle Carl hiding an egg in the garbage disposal? For these reasons and more, you need to call Easter Egg Accident-Injury Attorneys. The post Easter Egg Accident Injury Attorneys appeared first on Spencetology.

Since Jim Bob and his family are constantly running afoul of the law, I thought I’d dig up this classic. It’s been 11 years and the Duggars are still creepy AF. The latest accusation finds that Joseph Duggar, pastor to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, sexually assaulted a 9-year-old girl. There are a ton of people who love the Duggars. Up until a few days ago, “19 Kids And Counting” was raking in the dough. Then allegations surfaced that the eldest Duggar child, Josh, was inappropriate with some of his younger sisters. Pastor Duggar Certainly Qualifies for This Song: T.W.A.T. Hulu has ended its relationship with the show. TLC pulled the show as well…although the cable network has not cancelled it…yet. However, with advertisers like Walgreens, Payless ShoeSource, Choice Hotels, and General Mills yanking their dollars…it would seem that Jim Bob and the fam will not be long for TV. You’re […] The post Duggar Huggin’ appeared first on Spencetology.

We were all shocked to hear that, seemingly at random, the FAA announced it was closing El Paso International Airport. No explanation was given. Are You a Totally, Wonderfully, Accomplished Talent? Then, Here’s a Song for You. The sudden shutdown created “chaos” for travelers, caused flight cancellations and diversions, and halted medical evaluation flights. Such a long-duration shutdown (intended for 10 days) of a major US city’s airport was unprecedented. Comparisons were made to shutdowns following 9/11. . A short time later, the FAA lifted the restriction, saying the closure was out of an abundance of caution. We later found out that it was a lack of communication between the FAA and its “MTV Real World” alum, Sean Duffy, and former Fox News host and Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth. If they just would have used Signal all of this could have been avoided. Then the real info started pouring […] The post The War Against Balloons appeared first on Spencetology.

Sure, just like the two gentlemen pictured to the left, you think you’re a deviant. So, why is it you’re name isn’t plastered all over the Epstien Files? Simple economics, my man. Simple economics. Listen to some more parody songs. Ya see, you’re poor. Because of your economic status, you aren’t in the club. The sick, demented, perverted pedo pals of South Florida as uncovered by the release of even more Epstein Files by the Department of Justice. You understand? Only the rich are on the list. In Epstein’s world of private jets, you fly Spirit. In a world of private islands, you and your family once visited Waikiki. Yes, your sister was underaged, but it was okay because so were you. With another three million documents released, the names of more rich perverts are revealed. We’ve seen author & speaker Deepak Choprah mentioned. There’s Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick. More […] The post The Rich are on the List appeared first on Spencetology.

When it comes to Hollywood chaos, few names deliver quite like Alec Baldwin. Recently, Baldwin reportedly drove his Range Rover into a tree in the Hamptons — because even his errands apparently come with a dramatic plot twist. Just like 1492, it’s Columbus Real Estate Witnesses say the SUV veered off course and made direct contact with a tree, confirming that not even luxury vehicles are safe from actors with intense energy and questionable steering instincts. To make the scene even more cinematic, his brother Stephen Baldwin was reportedly in the passenger seat. That’s like adding straight-to-streaming sequel vibes to an already A-list collision. No one was injured, unless you count Baldwin’s ego and the Range Rover’s front bumper, both of which suffered what auto experts call “emotional damage.” Imagine being a peaceful tree in the Hamptons, only to be cast without warning in a Baldwin action sequence. It’s the […] The post The Alec Baldwin Driving Academy appeared first on Spencetology.

For centuries, Christopher Columbus has been celebrated in textbooks as the intrepid explorer who “discovered” America—despite the rather glaring detail that millions of people were already living here. Introducing a White Guy’s Guide to Super Bowl Spanish Columbus didn’t ask for a tour, fill out paperwork, or even knock. He just stepped into someone else’s coastline, declared, “This is mine now.” In modern terms, that isn’t sploration. That’s breaking and entering. If Columbus pulled the same stunt today, he wouldn’t be on postage stamps—he’d be on an episode of Cops: Maritime Edition, being gently escorted off a stranger’s lawn while shouting something about Spain and destiny. But while most of us agree that claiming occupied land by yelling loudly wouldn’t hold up in court now, there seems to be one bold new real estate agency ready to revive that pioneer spirit—minus all the pesky legalities. Not happy about Taylor & […] The post Columbus Real Estate appeared first on Spencetology.

Taylor Swift might be the most recognizable person on the planet. She has 282 million followers on Instagram alone. (I’m a distant second with 8 followers.) She’s a safe-made billionaire. Her Eras Tour was the first tour to surpass the $2 billion mark in ticket sales. She’s pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty successful. When one reaches a stratospheric level of fame and fortune, you gotta have jokes, right? Here is a short collection of Taylor Swift bits from over the years. Stop Tay Marriage – Since the pop star became engaged to Kansas City Chiefs superstar Travis Kelce some have found ways to make the upcoming nuptials a negative. Taylorgate – Before you found out Taylor was dating a pro football star, you wouldn’t dedicate one ounce of your life to watching the Super Bowl. But since her boyfriend is playing you might as well make the best of it and […] The post Look What You Made Me Do appeared first on Spencetology.

When Puerto Rican-born Bad Bunny (Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio) was announced as the featured halftime entertainment at Super Bowl LX this February, not everyone was pleased. Finally, a dating app exclusively for furloughed federal workers. Learn more about Furloughmance. Right-wing pundits from former racecar driver Danica Patrick to Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson voiced their angst at having a performer sing and rap in Spanish. In one interview, Fox News contributor Tomi Lahren, claimed the selection was un-American. She seemed unaware that, as a territory of the United States., people born in Puerto Rico are, in fact, U.S. citizens. By birth alone, Bad Bunny is more “American” than our First Lady, Melania Trump. After the Ryder Cup, the PGA, and the UFC have joined forces to create the Professional Golfer’s Fighting Championship. “The King of Latin Trap” was unmoved by, what some would call, racist criticism and provided a […] The post A White Guy’s Guide to Super Bowl Spanish appeared first on Spencetology.