Surfing the Quicksand

Most of us think of grief as something that happens after a death. But grief shows up in many forms throughout our lives: during caregiving, health challenges, major transitions, changing identities, estranged relationships, unrealized dreams, and even positive life changes. In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy talks with Dr. Larey Swanson, an integrative health and wellness coach, physician, and grief circle facilitator, about the many ways loss and grief shape our lives. Drawing from both professional expertise and deeply personal experiences, including the loss of both parents, caregiving, and supporting a child through a life-altering illness, Larey offers a compassionate and expansive view of grief. Together, they explore anticipatory grief, ambiguous loss, disenfranchised grief, and the myth that grief follows a predictable timeline. They discuss why grief cannot be fixed, the importance of being witnessed rather than advised, and how community, ritual, and meaning-making can help us navigate life's most difficult transitions. Whether you're grieving, caregiving, supporting someone you love, or simply preparing for the realities of being human, this conversation offers wisdom, validation, and hope. In this episode, we discuss: • Why grief is much broader than death and bereavement • Anticipatory grief and grieving losses before they happen • Ambiguous loss and caregiving for loved ones with dementia or Alzheimer's • Disenfranchised grief and the losses society often minimizes • Why grief and gratitude can coexist • The myth of closure and the myth of a grief timeline • How grief affects both mind and body • The healing power of grief circles and community support • Meaning-making as a pathway through loss • Practical ways to care for yourself while grieving • How to support someone who is grieving without trying to fix them Resources and Mentions Dr. Larey Swanson’s company website, Grief Circle information, and newsletter sign-up:  Achieve Health & Wellness Coaching https://www.achievehealthandwellnesscoaching.com/ Larey’s LinkedIn profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/larey-swanson-889822146/  Book recommendation: Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work with Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss (paid link) https://amzn.to/4dNS6EN  Book recommendation: The Myth of Closure by Pauline Boss (paid link)  https://amzn.to/4dNS6EN  Website: Center for Prolonged Grief at Columbia University: https://prolongedgrief.columbia.edu/   About Larey Swanson, MD:  Larey Swanson holds an M.D. from the University of Minnesota and has worked as a medical researcher, writer, integrative provider, and integrative health and wellness coach.  Her work experience combined with her personal healthcare journey has impassioned her to believe that health and wellness coaching is the missing link toward wellness in our system today.  She has personally encountered the benefits of a holistic view of health and believes that integrative health and wellness coaching combined with a focus on lifestyle medicine and behavior change expertise can cultivate the physical and mental wellness we all crave. Through her business, Achieve Health and Wellness Coaching, Larey offers virtual grief circles, one-on-one coaching, and educational resources for individuals navigating loss, grief, caregiving, and major life transitions. 

In this deeply informative and compassionate conversation, Kathy sits down with gerontologist, educator, and advocate Donna Fedus to talk about aging, dementia, caregiving, and the emotional realities families face as loved ones experience cognitive change. Donna helps unpack the often-confusing language around dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, mild cognitive impairment, and caregiving, while offering practical guidance for adult children, spouses, and caregivers trying to navigate difficult decisions with empathy and clarity. Together, Kathy and Donna explore:- The difference between normal aging and concerning cognitive changes- Why dementia is a broad umbrella term (Alzheimer’s is only one possible cause)- Reversible causes of dementia symptoms, including UTIs and medication interactions- How to recognize early warning signs- The emotional toll and stigma caregivers often face- Why connection, music, purpose, and emotional understanding still matter deeply- How caregivers can broaden their “care circle” and ask for support- The guilt many families feel around changing living situations or memory care- Why education and communication can make caregiving feel less overwhelmingDonna also shares hopeful perspectives on brain health, cognitive reserve, and the importance of seeing people with dementia as whole people who are still reachable, meaningful, and deserving of connection. This episode is an essential listen for anyone caring for aging parents, worrying about cognitive decline, or trying to better understand what compassionate caregiving can look like.Resources Mentioned- Alzheimer’s Association-https://www.alz.org/- Alzheimer’s Foundation of America-https://alzfdn.org/ eldercare.gov-https://eldercare.acl.gov/home- Area Agencies on Aging Donna’s company: Borrow My Glasses-https://borrowmyglasses.com/Donna’s “WOOP” Groups for Caregivers -https://borrowmyglasses.com/product/woop-group/Borrow My Glasses Catalog for talks and workshops you can bring into your organization or conference: https://borrowmyglasses.com/resource-list/ About Donna FedusDonna Fedus is a gerontologist, educator, and advocate who has spent more than three decades helping people better understand aging, dementia, caregiving, and brain health. Through her organization, Borrow My Glasses, Donna works with organizations, professionals, caregivers, and families to build compassion, practical skills, and confidence around aging and cognitive change.Donna’s LinkedIn Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-fedus/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/borrowmyglasses/ 

What happens when the life you carefully built suddenly no longer fits? This week on Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy talks with novelist Lindsey Goldstein about reinvention, creativity, and the courage to start over in midlife. Lindsey’s debut novel, The Gap Year, follows Jane, a 46-year-old woman whose life unravels almost overnight: her daughter leaves for a traditional gap year abroad, her husband announces he’s leaving the marriage, and her career reaches a breaking point. In response, Jane does something wildly out of character: she boards a plane to Ecuador to pursue a decades-old dream of climbing Cotopaxi, one uncertain step at a time. But Lindsey’s own story mirrors many of the themes in the novel. An established physical therapist, Lindsey explored her hobby of writing seriously at 39, publishing essays in outlets including The New York Times Modern Love. Along the way, she wrote two unpublished novels before finally finding success with her third manuscript. In this conversation, she opens up about persistence, rejection, self-doubt, creative identity, and what it means to pursue a dream later in life. Kathy and Lindsey also explore: Why reinvention often requires action before confidence  The hidden business side of becoming a published author  Balancing creativity, motherhood, work, and ambition  The growing demand for stories centered on women in their 40s and 50s  How Ecuador became both the setting and emotional heartbeat of The Gap Year  Productivity, deadlines, and learning how you work best  The challenge of claiming a new identity, even after success  Whether you’re contemplating a leap, rediscovering yourself after years of caregiving, or wondering if it’s “too late” to try something new, this conversation is a reminder that reinvention rarely arrives fully planned. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is begin before you feel ready.  Resources and Mentions Buy Gap Year on Amazon (paid link): https://amzn.to/4dooYE4   Follow Lindsey:  Website: https://www.lindseygoldsteinauthor.com Instagram: @goldsteinlindsey Substack: lindseygoldstein.substack.com TikTok: @lindseygoldsteinauthor  About Lindsey Goldstein Lindsey Goldstein is a writer who started with essays on love and parenting, published in The New York Times, Sunlight Press, Chicago Story Press, and more. Her debut novel Gap Year, published in 2026 by Egret Lake Books, a story of self-discovery, reinvention, and courage.  Writing the book was inspired in many ways by her own life when the pandemic impact ground her career as a physical therapist to a halt, and as motherhood became her primary focus, and she faced questions about who she was and wanted to become. Lindsey lives with her family in Southern California.  

What happens when your “dream life” stops feeling like your right life? In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy sits down with Danielle Frank, whose career path reads like a movie script: Hollywood publicity at Miramax, global travel, hobnobbing with celebrities.  But beneath the glamour were pivotal moments of clarity: a toxic job that triggered daily dread, a relationship that looked perfect on the outside but felt misaligned on the inside, and a long-held dream of writing that stayed dormant for over a decade. Danielle shares how she learned to recognize the “pit in your stomach” as a signal, not something to ignore, and how embracing life pivots (even the scary ones) led her to a more authentic, fulfilling path. She walked away without a safety net (terrified, but confident it was the right choice) to a “just for now” job with luxury wine and spirits brands like Bacardi and Moët Hennessy that has turned into the dream she didn’t know she could have. (Clink the Veuve Clicquot!) And now she’s re-awakening the dormant writer inside, publishing her first book in her 50’s, her story is a powerful reminder that change isn’t failure. It’s evolution. The conversation also explores redefining fulfillment, especially for women whose lives don’t follow traditional timelines around marriage and motherhood, and how creativity, storytelling, and even humor can become meaningful outlets for impact. Key Takeaways: The “pit in your stomach” is data, not drama. That persistent dread is often your clearest signal that something is misaligned, whether it’s a job, relationship, or life path. Pivots are not failures. They’re transitions to the right path. Every major shift Danielle made (career, geography, relationships) became a steppingstone, not a step backwards. Transferable skills matter more than industry labels. Her throughline wasn’t entertainment or wine. It was storytelling, which made reinvention possible. You can outgrow a life that once fit you perfectly. Dream jobs and relationships can still become wrong over time, and that doesn’t invalidate what they once were. Fulfillment isn’t one-size-fits-all. A meaningful, joyful life can exist outside traditional expectations like marriage and motherhood. It’s never too late to resurrect a creative dream. A book written 14 years earlier became a reality in her 50’s. Timing doesn’t negate value.  Resources & Links Danielle’s book: A Wine Lover’s Guide to Parenting https://amzn.to/3Qpz6ob (ad link)  Website: https://daniellefrankauthor.com/ Instagram: @createagreatstory  About Danielle Frank Danielle Frank is a brand-building executive in the luxury wine and spirits industry, with experience at Bacardi and Moët Hennessy. A lifelong storyteller, she recently published A Wine Lover’s Guide to Parenting, a humorous, rhyming “adult children’s book” blending wine terminology with life lessons about raising good humans. Through 11 playful lessons, the book draws clever parallels between wine terminology and parenting truths, delivering both laughs and light wine education along the way.  

In this solo episode, Kathy reflects on the difference between a bold midlife leap and the quieter, more common reality: the midlife pivot. Drawing from her work as a career coach and resume writer, she walks listeners through how to rethink the future of work in their 40s and 50s without blowing up their entire life. Kathy introduces three powerful pathways for designing what comes next: niche expertise, commitment to service, and portfolio careers. Through real client stories and personal experience, she shares how to identify your transferable skills, uncover strengths you may be overlooking, and begin shaping a future that fits your energy, values, and season of life. This episode explores how midlife career change is more often about pivoting than leaping, and how burnout, life changes, and shifting priorities can spark that pivot. Helping people identify their transferable skills and where their gifts align with what organizations need is key to how Kathy works with people to help them envision what comes next.  If you’ve been wondering, “What now?” this episode offers a practical, encouraging place to start. If this episode sparked something for you or got you thinking about someone you care about, consider reaching out. Kathy offers free consultations and loves helping people explore what might come next. Key Takeaways Most midlife change is a pivot, not a leap. Big reinventions get attention (and podcast episodes!), but most people are simply looking for a shift that better fits who they are now. Even with 20-30 years behind you, you might have 10–20 working years left, and that changes the equation. Your strengths are hiding in plain sight. The things you’re best at often feel “easy,” which makes them easy to overlook, but they’re highly valuable, and there are strategies you can use to find yours. It may feel counterintuitive, but narrowing your focus can expand your opportunities. Getting specific about what you do best opens more doors than staying broad. You don’t have to figure it out alone. A thought partner can help surface patterns, challenge assumptions, and unlock new directions. Resources and Mentions Book a free 20-minute consultation with Kathy to explore her services:  https://calendly.com/kathyvines/20-minute-consultation-with-kathy   About Kathy Vines Kathy Vines is a Certified Career Coach, Certified Professional Resume Writer, and a former HR professional who is now in her second act career. She’s the host of “Surfing the Quicksand” a podcast helping midlife women get unstuck.  

In this deeply reflective conversation, Kathy sits down with therapist Meredith Wakelyn to explore what it means to navigate multiple identity shifts at once in midlife. From unexpected health changes to the emotional complexity of empty nesting and evolving relationships with adult children, Meredith shares her experience of learning to listen to her body, release long-held habits, and redefine her role as both a parent and a professional. Together, they unpack the subtle but powerful shifts that come with this stage of life, where pride gives way to vulnerability, obligation transforms into intentional commitment, and control softens into trust. Meredith offers practical wisdom on tuning into your own signals, setting boundaries with love, and embracing a more spacious, evolving version of yourself. This episode is a reminder that midlife isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about learning how to respond, with curiosity and compassion, to what’s changing. Key Takeaways: Midlife is a convergence of identity shifts, not just one change. Health, career, parenting, and relationships often evolve simultaneously, requiring constant recalibration of who you are and how you show up. Your body may change the rules. Listen to it. What worked in your 30s or 40s may no longer serve you. Paying attention to subtle signals (sleep, recovery, energy) can reveal important truths about your health. Small habits can have outsized impacts in midlife. Even moderate alcohol consumption can significantly affect sleep, blood pressure, and overall well-being, especially during perimenopause and menopause. Asking for help is a turning point, not a failure. Letting go of pride and reaching out during professional uncertainty can open doors and restore momentum. Parenting adult children requires a complete role redefinition. The shift from hands-on parenting to “consultant and safe landing” requires intentional communication, boundaries, and emotional flexibility. Choose commitment over obligation in relationships. Relationships thrive when they are chosen, not required, creating more authentic, respectful, and meaningful connections. About Meredith Wakelyn:  As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 30 years of experience, Meredith Wakelyn helps individuals, couples, families, and college students overcome life’s difficult challenges. She believes supportive, effective therapy builds emotional resiliency to cope with stress and crises, helping us manage negative experiences. Her specialties include EMDR & Trauma Therapy, Individual Therapy, and Couples Therapy.  Married for over 30 years and a mother to two twenty-something children, Meredith lives a life grounded in mindfulness and balance in Denver, CO. She finds joy in yoga, running, snowboarding, paddleboarding, cooking, and reading, and cherishes time spent with loved ones. Meredith lives her life to the fullest, bringing presence and purpose to everything she does. 

Episode Summary: “When women feel well, everything changes.” That simple statement becomes the foundation for a powerful and eye-opening conversation with family nurse practitioner and menopause specialist Magen Price. In this episode, Kathy and Magen break down the realities of perimenopause and menopause, from the hormonal shifts happening in the body to the emotional and identity-level impact many women experience. Magen debunks common myths, explains hormone replacement therapy in clear, accessible terms, and shares why so many women feel dismissed or confused when seeking care. Together, they explore how this phase of life can feel destabilizing but also deeply transformative and how the right support, information, and advocacy can help women move from confusion to clarity. Whether you’re in your late 30s, midlife, or beyond, this episode offers both validation and actionable guidance to help you better understand your body and advocate for your health. Topics We Cover: Hormones 101: estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone explained  Early signs of perimenopause (that most people miss)  Why anxiety, sleep disruption, and identity shifts are often hormonal  Body-identical vs. synthetic hormones - what’s the difference?  The surprising preventative benefits of HRT (heart, bone, brain, and more)  Why vaginal estrogen is a “game changer” for long-term health  The real risks, and how they’re often misunderstood  How to advocate for yourself with medical providers  Resources and Mentions:  Mystic Valley Sexual Wellness, Magen’s concierge women’s health practice: https://www.mysticvalleysexualwellness.com  Magen’s Midlife Library, with patient guides: https://mysticvalley.podia.com/   Instagram: @magenpricenp  Instagram: @mysticvalleysexualwellness  Some statistics referenced in the episode:  Women are leaving the workforce due to menopause-related symptoms:  https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/pb-assets/Health%20Advance/journals/jmcp/JMCP4097_proof.pdf  Untreated hip fractures in elderly women: https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-dangerous-is-a-broken-hip-when-youre-older-2223520  Vaginal Estrogen seen as helpful for women in preventing urinary tract infections:  https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(23)00309-5/abstract  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8058921/  DVT/Clot risks with HRT Transdermal Patches https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/search/research-news/2958/   About Magen Price Magen Price is board-certified Family Nurse Practitioner, a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, and an AASECT-Certified Sex Counselor with a passion for helping women navigate the complex, often-overlooked transitions of midlife.  She started in community health as a primary care provider, and the created a Sexual Wellness specialty there, blending sexual medicine, hormone management and intimacy counseling.  In 2025, she founded her private practice, Mystic Valley Sexual Wellness, to do what the traditional healthcare system too often cannot: offer thoughtful, individualized, evidence-based care for women navigating perimenopause, menopause, sexual dysfunction, low libido, and intimacy challenges.  She’s passionate about correcting medical misinformation and bringing education to her patients and to health care providers about menopause and sexual medicine, and advocating for evidence-based, compassionate care that truly honors a woman’s quality of life.  

What happens when you leave a career you love, not because you’re burned out, but because another opportunity keeps whispering, “What if?” In this Midlife Leap episode, Kathy talks with former middle school teacher Julie Thomas, who spent 16 years teaching seventh-grade English before stepping away from her dream job to explore an unexpected entrepreneurial path. What began as a side investment in short-term rental properties gradually evolved into a full-scale pivot, complete with the emotional rollercoaster of leaving a beloved career, navigating imposter syndrome, and learning how to build a business from scratch. Julie shares the realities of solopreneurship: the loneliness of leaving a team environment, the financial uncertainty of building something new, and the constant pressure of being responsible for your own success. But her story also reveals something powerful about midlife reinvention: sometimes the path forward isn’t the one you planned. Through a series of unexpected conversations and a willingness to stay open to possibility, Julie discovered a completely new business, rooted in something she loved, and maybe for longer than she realized.  In this conversation, Kathy and Julie explore the courage it takes to pivot, how to listen to your intuition, and why trusting that you’ll “figure it out” might be the most important skill of all. Key Takeaways Sometimes you leave a career you love not because it’s wrong, but because something new calls to you. Julie wasn’t burned out. She loved teaching and had her dream position. But a growing real estate venture (and a new baby!) forced her to reevaluate how she wanted to spend her time and energy. Entrepreneurship can be lonelier than people expect. Leaving a highly social profession for solo work brought unexpected emotional challenges. The loss of daily collaboration and feedback can be one of the biggest adjustments when starting a business. Imposter syndrome often appears when we move outside our formal training. Julie felt confident teaching others about rentals, but running the business itself -marketing, finances, client acquisition - was an entirely new skill set she had to learn in real time. Midlife reinvention often requires multiple pivots—not just one big leap. Julie’s journey wasn’t a single decision. It included leaving teaching, launching coaching, exploring property management, returning to substitute teaching temporarily, and finally landing in design. The most powerful mindset shift: trusting that you’ll figure it out. Julie realized that even if a risk didn’t work out, she trusted herself to adapt. That belief made it easier to pursue opportunities that felt both exciting and scary.  Resources and Mentions: Follow Julie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/strvisionary/   About Julie Thomas Julie Thomas is the owner of The STR Edit based in Minneapolis. She pivoted from her long and happy career in middle school teaching to a world of short-term rentals (STR): owning them, coaching others on how to build a business around them, and now, designing them for other STR owners.  

In this episode, Kathy sits down with stylist, entrepreneur, and founder of Dressing Well, Mary Lou Andre, to talk about what it really takes to reinvent yourself, again and again, over a decades-long career. Mary Lou shares the story of how the pandemic forced her to rethink nearly every aspect of her business. As corporate speaking engagements and in-person services disappeared overnight, she pivoted quickly into online communities, memberships, and new offerings designed to meet her clients where they were. Along the way, she invested in coaching, education, and technology to rebuild her business for a new era. But the reinvention wasn’t only professional. After pushing herself to the brink while rebuilding her company, Mary Lou realized she needed to apply the same strategic thinking to her own well-being. That meant slowing down, reassessing priorities, and creating new boundaries around how she works and lives. Today, her work focuses not just on style, but on helping women in midlife align their appearance, lifestyle, and goals with who they are now. Through community programs, retreats, and consulting, she helps women simplify their wardrobes, embrace comfort and authenticity, and step confidently into their next chapter. Kathy and Mary Lou explore how entrepreneurs must continuously evolve alongside the people they serve, why intuition matters more than ever in business decisions, and how building real community has become the foundation of meaningful work. They also discuss current fashion trends for midlife women, why capsule wardrobes and comfort are dominating style conversations, and how clothing can help people show up in the world with confidence and intention. This conversation is a powerful reminder that reinvention isn’t a one-time event—it’s a lifelong practice. Key Takeaways Reinvention requires letting go of things that once worked. Even successful programs and revenue streams may need to be retired when they no longer serve your current audience. Imperfect action beats waiting for perfection. The pandemic forced many entrepreneurs to show up on camera, try new technology, and experiment before they felt ready. Your intuition is a critical business tool. Advice from others can be helpful, but ultimately you have to trust your own instincts about what is right for you. Success without sustainability comes at a cost. After pushing herself to rebuild her company, Mary Lou realized she needed to apply the same strategic thinking to her personal wellness. Community is the new currency. People are craving meaningful connection, safe spaces, and shared experiences more than passive content.  Resources and Mentions:  Mary Lou’s company page: https://www.dressingwell.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dressingwell  Instagram: @marylouandrestyle  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-lou-andre/   Mary Lou's Book: https://amzn.to/4tyLssF  (paid link) The Wheel of Life (one example): https://www.startofhappiness.com/wheel-of-life-a-self-assessment-tool/ About Mary Lou Andre  Mary Lou Andre is the founder of Dressing Well, Inc. where she leads a team of stylists who provide wardrobe consulting and personal branding services for executives, entrepreneurs, politicians, media personalities, and even young men and women just starting out in their careers. She is an executive coach, an author, a television host, a speaker, and is one of the country’s most sought out experts on executive presence and style, appearing on national tv, magazines, and newspapers regularly.  After the pandemic impacted her deeply-in-person service business, she navigated to online community building, like with the Dressing Well Insiders, as well as The Lifestyle Collective, a group membership program blending their signature approach to personal style with an expanded focus on whole-person wellness, beauty, and empowered living.  

Midlife brings a lot of changes to our bodies, and our skin is no exception. But how do we know what’s normal, what’s preventable, and what might actually require a doctor’s attention? In this episode, Kathy talks with dermatology Physician Assistant Amy Akland about the realities of skin health in midlife. From identifying warning signs of skin cancer to understanding hair loss, collagen loss, and everyday skincare routines, Amy breaks down what actually matters (and what’s mostly marketing hype). They also talk about how women often miss their own warning signs, why sunscreen habits matter more than we think, and why hair loss can be emotionally difficult but often treatable. The message is refreshingly simple: good skin health doesn’t require a complicated routine. We just need the right habits and pay attention to our body. Key Takeaways Know the warning signs Understanding warning signs for melanoma and other skin concerns can go a long way to determining when to seek medical attention, but an annual dermatology review can ensure you’re getting seen in all the right places.   Skin cancer doesn’t only appear where you get sun While sun exposure is a major risk factor, skin cancers can develop anywhere you have skin — even in areas rarely exposed to sunlight.  A broad-spectrum sunscreen matters more than we realize. Apply to exposed skin every day, year-round. Reapply every 2 hours, or hourly in intense sun. Effectiveness is used up by sun exposure, not just swimming or sweating.   Midlife skin loses collagen and elasticity As we age, collagen (skin’s structural support) decreases and elastin (skin’s ability to bounce back) decreases. While we can’t fully restore elastin, certain treatments, especially retinoids, can help stimulate collagen production over time. Results take patience: 3–6 months or longer. A simple skincare routine often works best Despite the endless products marketed to women, a dermatologist-approved routine can be surprisingly simple: Morning: Gentle cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen, and Vitamin C antioxidant serum. Night: Gentle cleanser, moisturizer, retinoid or retinol (if desired). Consistency matters more than complexity. Hair loss in midlife is common, and often reversible Many women experience hair changes due to hormonal shifts, thyroid issues, iron deficiency, medications, stress, and weight changes. A common form is telogen effluvium, where hair temporarily sheds after a stressor. The encouraging news: Most cases improve on their own within 3–6 months, though regrowth can take longer.  ABOUT AMY AKLAND Amy Akland is a Physician Associate with 18 years’ experience in medical dermatology in and around Boston, Massachusetts. She holds a Master of Science in PA studies, a Bachelor of Science in Health Studies and a Bachelor of Arts in Environmental Studies. Her practice focuses on prevention and treatment of skin cancers, management of common skin diseases, and a practical approach to skin care. 

What happens when a long-buried idea resurfaces decades later, and you finally decide to act on it? In this episode, Kathy talks with Angela Burk, author of The Real Girl’s Guide to Midlife, about the winding road that led her from a successful corporate marketing career to writing a deeply personal book about identity, reinvention, and reclaiming your voice. Angela shares how a forgotten red folder full of ideas from twenty years earlier resurfaced while she was cleaning out her desk after retirement. Inside were the same questions many women wrestle with in midlife: questions about ambition, identity, relationships, pleasure, and purpose. Instead of dismissing the idea again, Angela decided to bet on herself. Within one year of retiring, she wrote, self-published, and launched her book, all while confronting the old internal scripts that told her she wasn’t creative, shouldn’t speak too boldly, or needed to soften her voice. In this conversation, Angela reflects on the courage it takes to question those old narratives, the discipline of writing honestly, and how creative expression can become a powerful tool for healing and self-forgiveness. You’ll also hear how redefining success (even if only three people bought the book) gave her the freedom to create something deeply meaningful. This episode is a reminder that sometimes the most powerful midlife reinvention begins with one simple question: Why not me?  Key Takeaways 1. Midlife can be a time of reclaiming your voice. Angela realized she had spent decades softening her opinions and desires. Writing the book became a commitment to stop doing that. 2. The stories we tell ourselves can hold us back. For years Angela believed she wasn’t creative, until her son pointed out that writing is creativity. 3. Betting on yourself is a radical act. Angela’s goal wasn’t fame or sales. It was finishing something meaningful and proving to herself she could do it. 4. Creativity can be deeply healing. Through writing, Angela found herself revisiting earlier chapters of her life with compassion and grace. 5. Sometimes the best goals are the ones you set for yourself alone. Angela’s one-year deadline wasn’t about external pressure — it was about honoring a promise to herself.  Resources and Mentions:  Read Angela’s Book: Real Girl’s Guide to Midlife https://amzn.to/4roPkLb (paid link) Angela’s website: https://www.realgirlsguide.com Angela’s Substack: https://substack.com/@realgirlangela   Instagram @realgirlsguide55    About Angela Burk:  Angela Burk is an award-winning high-tech Marketing Leader, Author, and the voice behind Real Girls Guide to Midlife, a community reshaping how women step into midlife with radical self-possession. After three decades scaling companies from scrappy pre-IPO startups to global Fortune 500 giants, she left the C-suite to focus on consulting, writing, and telling the truth about what it really means to live on your own terms.  Her Substack and this book blend personal stories with hard-won insight and expert guidance, delivering real talk, sharp observations, and a voice women can relate to immediately.  Angela divides her time between the San Francisco Bay Area and Australia and is a mom to three boys and a stepmom to four more kids. 

Supporting kids with organization, motivation, and follow-through isn’t about creating perfect systems; it’s about understanding development, executive function, and who the child actually is. In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines talks with Tiffany Blassingame, educator, professional organizer, and academic life coach, about how families can move beyond power struggles and rigid expectations to create systems that truly support students. Tiffany explains why executive function skills, like time management, planning, and task initiation, can’t be forced through compliance, and why treating the student as the client changes everything. Drawing on her experience as both an educator and a parent, she shares practical insights on device management, environmental design, and helping kids build agency rather than dependence. They also explore how parents can shift from “fixing” to partnering, why analog solutions sometimes solve digital problems, and how understanding peak energy times can unlock motivation for both kids and adults. The conversation closes with Tiffany’s personal reset rituals and her refreshing reminder that stepping away (physically and mentally) can be the key to getting unstuck. Key Takeaways Executive function is developmental, not a character flaw. Kids aren’t lazy or defiant; they’re building skills in real time. Parent the child you have, not the one you wish you had. Systems must match this child’s brain and capacity. The student is the client. When kids have agency, systems are more likely to stick. Environment matters. Physical and digital spaces can either reduce or increase cognitive load. Devices aren’t “bad,” but they do need boundaries. Analog tools can sometimes solve modern problems more effectively. Motivation follows energy. Scheduling hard tasks during peak times makes avoidance less powerful. Stepping away creates clarity. Physical distance and reduced device use can reset both mind and body. Resources & Mentions Follow Tiffany on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tblassingame/ Tiffany’s company – Simple Organization: https://www.simpleorganization.org   About Tiffany Blassingame  Tiffany Blassingame, owner of Simple Organization, offers strategies to help busy adults and their families go from chaos to calm by achieving wellness through organization and productivity. Tiffany's varied experience as an educator makes it natural for her to specialize in student organization. Her specialties include working with families of elementary, middle, and high school students as well as college students and educators. Tiffany is a member of the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) as well as the vice-president of the National Association of Black Professional Organizers (NABPO). She is also a professional organizer with Ebony & Orderly, a collaboration of 6 Black professional organizers in Atlanta. She speaks frequently on the topics of diversity, equity, inclusion, and justice, and about the founding of microschools on various platforms.

So many of us say, “There just isn’t enough time.” But what if the real issue isn’t time at all but how easily it slips away when we don’t have the right structures in place? In this episode, Kathy Vines is joined by productivity and focus expert Sarah Tetlow of Firm Focus for a practical, compassionate conversation about time, routines, and why even the most capable people struggle to stay on track. Together, they unpack how “lost time” shows up in everyday life, from doom-scrolling and over-perfecting work tasks to well-intentioned habits that quietly turn into time sinks. Kathy and Sarah explore why we’re actually bad at sensing time internally, and why relying on willpower alone so often backfires. Instead, they make the case for external tools, visual timers, and simple systems that do the heavy lifting, especially when our brains are seeking distraction or relief from stress. You’ll hear why analog clocks matter, how timers can reduce overwhelm, and why productive people aren’t magically disciplined; they’re supported by tools and routines that keep them grounded. The conversation also reframes the often-loaded idea of boundaries. Rather than seeing them as rigid walls, Sarah offers a powerful redefinition: boundaries as bridges, structures that let the right things into your life while protecting your time, energy, and priorities. From setting realistic routines to choosing just one “pillar habit” to start with, this episode emphasizes progress over perfection and sustainability over hustle. If you’ve ever felt scattered, rushed, or frustrated with yourself for “knowing better but still getting stuck,” this episode offers reassurance and concrete ways to regain control of your time without guilt or burnout. Key Takeaways Lack of time is rarely the real problem—unstructured time is. Most of us have more “lost time” than we realize, especially when we don’t set limits around activities that easily become time sinks. We’re not wired to sense time accurately. Relying on intuition or willpower to manage time almost always fails—external tools like timers and visual cues are essential. Productive people stay on track because they use systems, not discipline. Tools, routines, and reminders do the work so your brain doesn’t have to. Every activity can become a time suck without boundaries. Even “good” habits—work, learning, podcasts—need limits to stay supportive rather than draining. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges. The right boundaries help you let in what truly matters while protecting your time, energy, and priorities. Start with one routine, not seven. Sustainable change comes from choosing a single pillar habit that supports your day, not trying to overhaul everything at once. Resources and Mentions Sarah’s website: https://www.firm-focus.com  Sarah’s new book: https://www.Perfectlyproductiveday.com    Sarah recommended the book Checklist Manifesto, by Atul Gawande https://amzn.to/4rG4X28 (paid link) Sarah and Kathy both love the Time Timer: https://amzn.to/4oXpfBm (paid link)  About Sarah Tetlow:  Sarah is a seasoned productivity strategist, consultant, and renowned international speaker specializing in helping attorneys and legal professionals. She is the founder of Firm Focus, creator of the ARTT® Email Productivity System & Course, and author of “The Perfectly Productive Day.”  With a wealth of experience, a keen organizational acumen, and a strategic mindset, she empowers attorneys and law firms to enhance their profitability and operational efficiency, reclaim lost time and revenue by controlling distractions, prioritize and develop effective systems and processes. Through personalized one-on-one or small team consulting, strategic planning, engaging workshops, and transformative group trainings, Sarah collaborates with attorneys, law firms, and busy professionals to cultivate proactive and focused approaches to daily management. 

Letting go of collections is rarely about “the stuff.” In this episode, Kathy Vines talks with Stephanie Denson, founder of Spirit and Space, about the emotional, logistical, and relational realities of downsizing, especially later in life. Drawing on her work as a professional organizer and collectibles advisor, Stephanie explains why collections are so deeply tied to identity, relationships, and memory, and why letting them go often requires far more compassion than efficiency. Together, Kathy and Stephanie explore how collecting is often about the practice (the treasure hunting, the shared experiences, the stories) rather than the objects themselves. They discuss how families can navigate downsizing with patience, realistic timelines, and third-party support, especially when adult children and aging parents are operating with different priorities and levels of urgency. The conversation also highlights the sacred role organizers often play during major life transitions, from illness to widowhood to moves into senior living communities. Kathy and Stephanie emphasize the importance of having “awkward conversations” before crisis hits, creating plans for meaningful belongings, and recognizing decision fatigue as a very real barrier. Key Takeaways Collections often represent relationships, rituals, and identity, not just objects. Downsizing is easier when people are given time, patience, and permission to tell their stories. A compassionate third party can reduce family conflict and emotional overload during transitions. Decision fatigue is real—progress sometimes means creating “not-now” options instead of forcing final choices. Planning ahead is a gift to loved ones, even if the decisions themselves are still difficult. Resources & Mentions Spirit and Space – https://www.spiritandspacellc.com/ Stephanie’s Digital Guides for Expert Advice:  https://go.spiritandspacellc.com/digital-guides  Follow Stephanie on Social Media: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100076290312813 https://www.instagram.com/spiritandspacellc/   https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanie-denson/   About Stephanie Denson Stephanie Denson is a professional organizers and collectibles advisor who works with clients who are stuck in the process of letting go of stuff, collectibles and otherwise. She owns Spirit and Space based in Indianapolis.   

Many families don’t learn about hospice or palliative care until they’re already in crisis, often believing hospice means “giving up” or that it’s only for the very last days of life. In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines is joined by Lori Reese, whose own personal experience with hospice care and loved ones led her to discover her passion for being an ambassador for the value and importance of this care, ultimately serving on the Board of Directors for a hospice network in her area. In this intimate conversation about Lori’s journey and a “101” approach to concepts and myths about end-of-life care, Kathy and Lori bring a compassionate understanding and approach to thinking about hospice as a gift for those (and their loved ones) in their time need.  They discuss the difference between palliative care and hospice, when one might be the right choice, and why earlier education can dramatically improve comfort, clarity, and peace of mind, for both patients and families. They explore how hospice supports people with terminal illnesses such as cancer, heart failure, kidney disease, and dementia, and why hospice is about quality of life, not hastening death. The conversation also dives into one of the most emotionally complex scenarios families face: making end-of-life decisions for someone with dementia who can no longer express their wishes. Lori shares personal experience and professional insight into how families can navigate these moments with compassion, confidence, and care, trusting that choosing comfort is never the wrong choice. This episode is an invitation to learn before you need to know, ask better questions, and replace fear with understanding so when the time comes, decisions can be made from a place of support rather than panic. Key Takeaways Hospice is not about giving up—it’s about comfort, dignity, and support. Palliative care can be introduced much earlier than most people realize. Families often wait too long simply because they don’t know what help is available. Dementia creates a different end-of-life journey, often requiring families to make decisions on behalf of their loved one. Acting with compassion and prioritizing comfort is a meaningful way to honor someone’s wishes—even when they can’t speak for themselves. Educating yourself before a crisis creates more choices and less fear. Resources & Mentions  Lori shares a few questions families can ask when interviewing a hospice organization How often will a nurse visit? Who will be my main point of contact? What happens if symptoms worsen at night or on weekends? How do I reach you? How quick are you able to respond? How many patients does each nurse manager support? What type of extra support and therapies do you offer? To find a list of hospice organizations in your community, along with ratings: Find Healthcare Providers: Compare Care Near You - Medicare: https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/?providerType=Hospice    Dictionary of Terms: Pallipedia - Palliative Care Dictionary : https://pallipedia.org/   About Lori Reese:  Lori Reese is the owner of Consider It Done, where she brings her passion for professional organizing and move management, especially with seniors, to homes in Central Pennsylvania. Lori has earned NAPO specialist certificates in Life Transitions, Residential Organizing, Move Management & Home Staging, and Brain-Based Conditions.  In addition to leading her team to help people through life transitions at this stage, Lori serves her community and organizations through volunteer roles on the Board of Directors for the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) and on the Board of Directors for Hospice of Central Pennsylvania, and previously served on the Board of Trustees for the Central Pennsylvania Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines chats with Reanna Evoy, a branding and creative professional, about the transformative journey through perimenopause and menopause. Reanna shares how she navigates this life stage with authenticity, creativity, and humor, highlighting the importance of self-expression, community, and redefining midlife. They explore how societal expectations often fail to represent real women’s experiences during menopause, the power of visual storytelling to capture emotions and lived experiences, and the ways midlife can become a period of growth, self-worth, and reinvention. The conversation also touches on actionable strategies for motivation, embracing challenges, and creating supportive communities that celebrate the wisdom and creativity of women over 40. Reanna also shares her vision for her new project, Hot Flash, a magazine and platform that blends art, community, and education about midlife experiences, and how her personal and professional experiences converge to inspire women to embrace this stage with confidence. Key themes include: Representation Matters: Traditional media often misrepresents menopause; embracing authentic visuals and stories creates space for real experiences. Creativity as a Lifeline: Art, photography, and self-expression are powerful tools for navigating change and cultivating self-worth. Community is Transformative: Midlife challenges become opportunities for co-creation, mentorship, and intergenerational dialogue. Action Over Anxiety: Tackling fears directly builds confidence and opens doors for growth. “You gotta make it to make it.” Redefining Identity: Midlife is a chance to question purpose, redesign career paths, and shed old identities for a more authentic life. Nature as Reset: Walking in nature, connecting with the ocean, or grounding in outdoor spaces is an essential practice for mental clarity and emotional balance. Resources and Links Mentioned Reanna’s Instagram: @ReannaTime Hot Flash Instagram: @HotFlashMag Hot Flash website: HotFlashMag.com Branding company: SuperBonjour.com Personal website: Reannatime.com About Reanna Evoy  Reanna Evoy is an award-winning creative director specializing in strategy, branding, and content. As a creative director, storyteller, and brand architect, she brings clarity to purpose-driven brands by partnering with CEOs, founders, and business leaders to articulate their vision, purpose, and point of view. Her background in editorial has shaped her practice, making her return to print with Hot Flash both grounding and essential.   Her philosophy challenges grind culture, instead championing what she calls Life-Centered Design: a practice that integrates creative services with mindfulness-based experiences.   For Reanna, creativity isn't separate from life. It's a daily practice of awareness, observation, and empathy that creates work with genuine connection. Now navigating her own perimenopause journey while building Hot Flash, an editorial project exploring the perimenopause journey, midlife experiences, and personal transformation, Reanna brings both professional expertise in storytelling and lived experience to conversations about midlife, transformation, and creative practice as a form of mindful engagement.  

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines talks with Susan Miele, author and identity researcher, about the ways midlife changes, whether menopause, career transitions, or life disruptions, affect identity and personal agency. Drawing from her own experiences as a former C-suite executive and her journey through career transitions, Susan explores how major life events (loss, grief, and hormonal changes) reshape our sense of self and challenge the stories we tell ourselves. Susan explores how we can consciously choose how to navigate these changes, redefine our stories, and create opportunities for growth. Listeners will learn how identity is shaped by the stories we tell ourselves, why feeling “stuck” is often a result of an outdated narrative, and practical strategies to get unstuck, reclaim agency, and explore possibilities, even when life feels unpredictable. Whether you’re considering a professional reinvention, a personal reset, or simply want to understand how identity evolves over time, this conversation offers insight, encouragement, and actionable tools to help you rewrite your story and embrace new possibilities. Key Takeaways:  Identity is fluid, not fixed. We can rewrite the story we tell ourselves about who we are at any point in life. Choice is powerful. Whether in menopause, career, or personal life, we get to choose how we move forward, without judgment. Feeling “stuck” often stems from old narratives. Recognizing these stories is the first step to getting unstuck. Small pauses create breakthroughs. Walking away, sleeping on a problem, or letting the mind rest can lead to sudden clarity and momentum. Practical identity work spans home and work. How we tell our story affects family management, careers, and daily life choices. Resources and Mentions Susan’s website: https://www.SusanMiele.com   Susan’s Substack: https://susanannmiele.substack.com/  Susan’s LinkedIn profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-a-miele-phd/  Resources to help workplaces on training and content: MiDOViA https://www.midovia.com/  and The Menopause Society https://menopause.org/  About Susan Miele Susan Miele, PhD is a passionate advocate for normalizing menopause in the workplace. A former Chief People Officer with an extensive career in corporate leadership, she now speaks and writes about the profound impact menopause has on workplace culture, inclusion, and the retention of senior-level women. Susan challenges organizations to understand that menopause is not just an individual issue, but a vital factor in workplace well-being and gender equity. 

What happens when the systems meant to support family life quietly become a source of overwhelm? In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines is joined by Certified Professional Organizer Ellen Delap to unpack the hidden dynamics behind family management, overcommitment, and burnout, especially for households navigating neurodiversity, caregiving, and competing priorities across generations. Together, they explore why calendars are about more than scheduling, how invisible labor quietly accumulates, and why people-pleasing often drives unrealistic commitments. Ellen shares practical strategies for building shared systems (whether paper-based, digital, or hybrid) that make responsibilities visible and participation possible for everyone in the household. The conversation goes deeper into the emotional toll of overcommitting: the fear of disappointing others, the identity strain that comes with constant overwhelm, and the painful but necessary work of pulling back to create sustainable change. Kathy and Ellen also discuss why self-care must come before systems, how prioritization reveals hidden time conflicts, and why discomfort is often the first step toward lasting clarity. They wrap up with the Quicksand Three, where Ellen reflects on building a “bigger team” of resources, her long-standing commitment to volunteerism, and why rest, especially an adult bedtime, is one of the most overlooked tools for resilience. This episode is for anyone who feels like they’re holding everything together… and wondering how much longer they can keep going. Key Takeaways Visibility beats perfection. Whether paper or digital, calendars work best when everyone can see and interact with them. Shared systems reduce invisible labor. Inviting family members into calendars, reminders, and routines distributes responsibility. Overcommitment is emotional, not logistical. Fear of disappointing others often drives unrealistic schedules and burnout. Lists without prioritization create overwhelm. Breaking a master list into distinct projects reveals hidden time conflicts. Sustainable change requires discomfort. Pulling back, sometimes painfully, is necessary to escape unsustainable patterns. Resources and Mentions:  Ellen’s Website – central hub for her services, blog, and newsletter: professional-organizer.com Ellen’s Instagram @EllenDelapCPO  LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendelapproforganizer/  Skylight Calendar – a digital display that syncs with calendars and family communication: https://amzn.to/4aKWyTf  (paid link) About Ellen Delap For over 25 years in her career as a Certified Professional Organizer, Ellen Delap has focused on supporting neurodiverse families. Early on, she earned a Family Manager certification through a small organization with the author Kathy Peel. In addition, she holds certificates of study in ADHD, household management, and life transitions to support her work. She is devoted to the professional organizer industry and has served the profession as a past President of NAPO, the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals, and of the Board of Certification for Professional Organizers (BCPO). 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines is joined by leadership coach and writer Gina des Cognets for a thoughtful conversation about redefining success, navigating values conflict, and letting go of expectations that no longer fit our lives. Together, they explore how many high-achieving women were rewarded for overgiving earlier in their careers, and how those same behaviors can quietly lead to burnout in midlife. Their discussion of similar experiences sparked a deeper reflection on boundaries, self-trust, and what success actually means now. Gina offers a powerful reframe: success isn’t about titles, promotions, or “crushing it” anymore. It’s about autonomy, alignment, and the ability to choose. Whether that choice is attending a child’s game, having coffee with a partner, or simply deciding how to spend your day, defining success on your own terms can be both grounding and freeing. The conversation also touches on gratitude as a stabilizing practice, practical tools for facing procrastination (including “Eat the Frog”), and the importance of movement, creativity, and time in nature as ways to reset when life feels overwhelming. This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask: What does success look like for me now, and what am I allowed to let go of? Key Takeaways Generosity without boundaries isn’t sustainable. What once helped you succeed can eventually drain you if it isn’t re-evaluated. Discomfort often signals a values conflict. When two important values collide, clarity—not guilt—is what’s needed. Your definition of success is allowed to evolve. Midlife invites a conscious re-write of what “success” really means. Time autonomy is a legitimate measure of success. Choosing how and when you show up matters as much as titles or status. Momentum beats motivation. Simple tools like “Eat the Frog” and built-in rewards reduce procrastination. Recharge requires getting out of your head. Movement, nature, and creativity restore energy and perspective. Mentions and Resources Gina’s website: www.leadwithgina.com  Substack - https://leadwithgina.substack.com/ Eat the Frog: https://amzn.to/4j0d0CI  About Gina des Cognets Gina des Cognets is an organizational development advisor and executive leadership coach for growth-oriented companies, helping C-suite leaders and high-performing teams navigate complexity and lead with authenticity. After two decades building organizational cultures and developing leaders at Strava, Boston Beer Company, and Dartmouth's Tuck School of Business, Gina launched her own practice, Lead with Gina. She partners with C-suite executives to design and deliver impactful organizational development programs and provides fractional talent development support—bringing a distinctive ability to diagnose team dynamics in real time and create the conditions for leaders to shift from siloed thinking to a unified "first-team" mindset. She's also co-founder of The T'Collective, a fractional executive network, and serves on the Norwich School Board. Gina holds an EdD in Leadership and Learning in Organizations from Vanderbilt, an MBA from Tuck, and has completed advanced coaching courses with Co-Active, Tara Mohr, and Designing Your Life. When she's not working with leaders, you'll find her trail running in Vermont or dancing in her kitchen with her husband and two teenage daughters. 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines sits down with Wendy Buglio, Certified Senior Move Manager and Certified Professional Organizer, to talk about the often-overlooked work of planning for life transitions. Wendy shares her personal experiences helping her own parents and loved ones navigate end-of-life planning, downsizing, and digital afterlife organization, highlighting the importance of thinking ahead, documenting processes, and having difficult conversations. From tackling the procrastination that keeps us from organizing important documents to breaking big tasks into tiny steps, Wendy offers practical strategies for getting unstuck. She also shares insights into the tools and resources available (like the Nokbox and Five Wishes) that make planning simpler, as well as how to ensure that your personal and business affairs are handled if you’re incapacitated. This episode is packed with actionable advice, gentle encouragement, and relatable stories for anyone navigating midlife challenges. Key Takeaways: Planning ahead and documenting processes is key to easing future transitions. Start small: one conversation, one document, or one tiny step can break through procrastination. Resources like the Nokbox and Five Wishes simplify end-of-life and digital planning. Accountability and deadlines can help you finally tackle projects you’ve been avoiding. Recharge by leaning into your passions—like music, live performances, or other creative outlets. Professional networks (NAPO, NASM) can connect you with trusted organizers, even across the country. Resources and Mentions:  Nokbox information management system to keep track of important papers and information. https://www.thenokbox.com/KATHY32689 Five Wishes – a guide to help facilitate and document end of life care for you or your loved ones. https://www.fivewishes.org/  Wendy’s company: https://www.wendybuglio.com/  About Wendy Buglio A passionate productivity consultant, move manager, and professional organizer, Wendy Buglio is dedicated to helping clients clarify what is most important and then developing strategies to get everything else out of the way. With her non-judgmental approach and calming energy (combined with a healthy dose of reality and a sense of humor), she works with clients to make decisions and take action to create desired change. Wendy has 16 years of experience managing moves for clients, and has developed strong relationships with moving companies, stagers, realtors, and other related services. She manages a team of dedicated organizing and move management professionals who treat each client like a member of their own family.   

For her 20th episode, Kathy chats with Michele Lamoureux, host of the long-running podcast and top-rated podcast, The Good Life with Michele Lamoureux, now rebranding with a new title and focus, a movement that could impact women around the world in a meaningful way. In this engaging and inspiring conversation, Kathy sits down with Michele Lamoureux, an award-winning podcast host, connector, and champion for women in midlife, to explore what it means to not only highlight other women’s voices, but how she listened to her own along the way.  Michele shares how she first launched The Good Life almost ten years ago, before podcasting was mainstream, and how her curiosity and love for deep, meaningful conversations kept her going through hundreds of episodes. Together, she and Kathy discuss the behind-the-scenes realities of hosting a long-term show: staying consistent, keeping the content fresh, and building genuine relationships with guests and listeners alike. Now, as Michele prepares for her rebranding, she opens up about how the new title reflects her own growth and her desire to spotlight women who are no longer waiting for permission to lead, create, and shine. The episode also explores how Michele helps others start and sustain their own podcasts, guiding them through the technical, emotional, and creative sides of the process. Through laughter and lived experience, she and Kathy remind listeners that reinvention doesn’t always mean starting over; sometimes it’s about stepping more fully into what’s already there. Themes We Explore Why podcasting is a long game — and how to stay inspired over time The power of curiosity in building authentic conversations What the transition to a new podcast title and focus means for Michele and her audience Coaching others to find their voice and share their stories How creative work evolves as we do Resources Mentioned Michele offers free consultations to those looking to explore her podcast coaching offering: https://calendly.com/thegoodlife/20min Sign up for Michele’s newsletter: https://thegoodlifecoach.com/   Watch her podcast on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@herstarringrole or listen on  Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/4NlNdhJC4IG2eybBeId03W?si=6d46032a5f3b4724 -  About Michele Lamoureux Michele Lamoureux is a podcast host, coach, and connector who has been producing The Good Life with Michele Lamoureux for nearly a decade. Through hundreds of interviews with authors, experts, and inspiring women, she’s built a community centered on purpose, fulfillment, and joy. With her rebrand in February 2026, Michele continues her mission to help women step confidently into the spotlight of their own lives. 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy sits down with Jen Greene, an educator and newly minted kindergarten teacher who made a bold midlife shift after nearly three decades in marketing and advertising and life in the technology start up world. Jen shares the intimate story behind her transition, struggling with “what’s next,” to going back to school with students half her age, confronting unexpected academic challenges, and staying the course through fear, self-doubt, and age bias in the job market. Jen discusses the realities of grief, the power of community, and how her father’s words, “You can always come home,” gave her courage to take meaningful risks throughout her life. She reveals the mindsets and habits that kept her moving forward, what she learned about ambition and compromise in midlife, and how she ultimately found joy and purpose in the classroom. Grounded, funny, and deeply honest, this conversation is a testament to resilience and reinvention. Jen reminds us that it’s never too late to change direction, and that balance - in motion, in care, and in life - is something we build one brave step at a time. Key Takeaways Reinvention at midlife requires courage, but not perfection. Jen’s path wasn’t linear, but each step, even the setbacks, moved her toward clarity. Fear often disguises itself as practicality. When you challenge it, options expand. Community and support matter. Family and friends provide the support we need to take risks without shame. Age bias is real, but resilience is powerful. Staying committed to your goal helps you navigate an imperfect job market. Balance is active, not static. Using creativity, rest, and self-compassion, Jen found new grounding in a demanding season of reinvention. 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines is joined by Kate Jackson, co-founder of Enneagram RX, for a deeply thoughtful conversation about chronic illness, mind-body healing, and reclaiming agency through self-awareness. Kate shares her personal journey through cancer and chronic health challenges, explaining how discovering the Enneagram, specifically the three centers of intelligence (head, heart, and body), gave her language for patterns she had lived with for decades but never fully understood. Rather than focusing on personality “types,” Kate’s work centers on recognizing emotional and physiological defaults and how they shape communication, stress responses, relationships, and long-term health. Together, Kathy and Kate explore how repressed emotions (especially anger) can quietly influence physical inflammation, chronic pain, and exhaustion, without placing blame or shame on women who are already navigating complex medical realities. Kate is explicit: chronic illness is not something women “do to themselves,” but understanding emotional patterns can create opportunities to interrupt cycles that no longer serve them. The conversation also reframes the traditional patient-provider relationship. Kate advocates for an integrative approach to healing, one that values conventional medicine while also honoring emotional, mental, and spiritual health. By doing internal work alongside medical treatment, women can become active members of their healthcare team, rather than passive recipients of care, leading through agency.  Resources and Mentions:Kate’s website: https://enneagramrx.com/  Upcoming Transformative Workshops for Women Living with Chronic Stress, Pain, or Illness using the Enneagram + Mind-Body Science: https://enneagramrx.com/workshops  The Narrative Enneagram https://www.narrativeenneagram.org/  CP Enneagram Academy https://cpenneagram.com/ Enneagram Minnesota https://mn-iea.org/  About Kate Jackson:  Kate works with women experiencing chronic stress, pain and illness using a combination of Enneagram and mind-body practices through a collaborative project called Enneagram RX. Their aim is to support women to build a personal prescription (RX) using our practical and sustainable framework to shift their relationship to their chronic condition and build agency and ownership of their health journey to live well.  Kate’s personal experience with surviving Stage 4 cancer in 2015 has informed her journey to embrace the Enneagram and its spiritual healing quality. When cancer returned a second time, Kate credits leveraging the Enneagram and mind-body teaching for the transformative impact on her, her healthcare team, and support network.   National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach M.A. - Integrative Health and Wellbeing Coaching - Center for Spirituality and Healing at the University of Minnesota Certified Enneagram Practitioner through The Narrative Enneagram Certificate of Professional Training in Mind-Body Medicine from the Center for Mind-Body Medicine Certified Sound Healing Practitioner through the Sound Healing Academy, UK 

When everything feels harder than it used to - focus, memory, motivation, patience - it’s easy to wonder: Is something wrong with me? In this thoughtful and refreshingly honest conversation, Kathy sits down with Jenny Cervantes Wilson, professional organizer and owner of Sweetgrass Organizing, to explore how her personal experiences, especially discovering her autism diagnosis later in life, have shaped the way she approaches both her work and her world. They discuss the murky intersection of perimenopause, hormones, and executive function. Together, they explore how shifting estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels can impact memory, impulse control, mood, and motivation, and how those changes can mimic or magnify ADHD and autism symptoms as well as autism  From late-night shopping scrolls to forgotten appointments, from shame spirals to self-compassion, Jenny and Kathy normalize the chaos that often comes with midlife and offer gentle insights on when to seek professional help, what strategies can help right now, and why curiosity (not judgment) is the key to feeling more in control again. Jenny shares how understanding her neurodivergence brought her a new sense of clarity and self-compassion, and how it informs the empathy, patience, and flexibility she brings to her clients. The conversation flows from practical strategies for working with neurodivergent individuals to deeper reflections on self-acceptance, burnout, and redefining what “organized” really means. Together, Kathy and Jenny unpack the myths of perfectionism, the importance of sustainable systems, and the quiet beauty of giving ourselves (and our homes) permission to just be enough. Key Takeaways: Hormonal shifts can mimic ADHD. Drops in estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone affect mood, memory, and focus, sometimes leading to ADHD-like symptoms. Emotional dysregulation is real. The ability to “keep it together” at work or home can slip during hormonal transitions. Shame compounds the struggle. Many women blame themselves for losing focus or control, rather than recognizing physiological causes. Compassion first. The softness we offer others should also be extended to ourselves, especially during midlife transitions. Organizing isn’t just about stuff. Over-acquiring, disorganization, or burnout may be signs of deeper cognitive or emotional overwhelm. Diagnosis as Liberation: Jenny describes her autism diagnosis as a revelation that helped her make sense of lifelong experiences and challenges, and freed her from self-blame. Empathy as a Superpower: Jenny’s lived experience fosters deep compassion and adaptability when working with clients who process the world differently. Letting Go of “Shoulds”: Both Kathy and Jenny reflect on the cultural expectations around productivity and order, and the freedom that comes from defining success on your own terms. About Jenny Cervantes Wilson Jenny Wilson is a neurodivergent, cancer-surviving, trauma-informed Certified Professional Organizer and coach specializing in neurodivergent clients and executive function challenges. Through Sweetgrass Organizing, she helps clients create systems that support their unique brains and lifestyles. Jenny works virtually and with clients in the Dallas area. Jenny holds multiple certificates of study in subjects like Brain Based Conditions, Chronic Disorganization, and Hoarding. 

In this inspiring conversation, Kathy sits down with longtime friend and fellow Gen X minimalist, productivity coach, and full-time RVer, Aimee Olson, to explore what it really means to simplify your life, not as an aesthetic, but as a path to freedom. Aimee shares the unraveled middle-age moment that pushed her to reevaluate everything she was doing “because she had always done it,” leading her to leave behind a conventional life and embrace full-time RV living. Aimee speaks candidly about the challenges that come with radical change, how travel shifts your perspective on time, and why Gen X women are uniquely positioned to redefine what midlife looks like. Together, Kathy and Aimee explore why permission-seeking keeps women stuck, how to experiment with small pilots (instead of permanent decisions), and why simplifying, internally and externally, is often the key to getting unstuck. Throughout, Kathy and Aimee keep returning to a core theme: intentionality is the antidote to overwhelm. Whether at home, at work, or on the road, the work is recognizing what you truly value and then creating the space to live it. Key Takeaways: Reinvention doesn’t require a crisis, just awareness. Simplifying is less about stuff and more about identity. Permission is the invisible barrier keeping Gen X women stuck. Small pilots are powerful tools for testing big dreams. Productivity is about intention, not volume. Reinvention requires asking better questions, starting with: “What if this were easier?”  Resources and Mentions: Aimee’s website for Life Done Simply and signing up for her “Mindful Minute”: https://www.lifedonesimply.com/about   About Aimee Olson: Aimee Olson is a Productivity Coach, speaker, and founder of Life Done Simply, a coaching business focused on strategies that help her clients slow down, cut through the noise, and prioritize their time so they can live like no one else! Aimee is a leader in the National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals and currently serves on the Board of Directors and volunteers as a mentor to emerging productivity and organizing professionals. In 2018, Aimee ditched her “sticks-n-bricks” in Minnesota and set off to live on the road in an RV with her partner. Living and working on the road has enabled her to challenge the status quo and inspire others to dream big.  

In this episode, Kathy sits down with Dr. Katie Wadland, PT, DPT, a board-certified geriatric clinical specialist and founder of Healthy Aging Physical Therapy, a home-based PT/OT practice supporting older adults across Greater Boston. Katie shares how her team helps seniors stay safe, mobile, and independent by working with them right inside their own homes where real barriers, habits, and daily challenges are most visible. Katie breaks down how functional, goal-driven therapy works in the home, the difference it makes when PTs and OTs collaborate closely, and how she uncovers each patient’s true motivation, the deeper “why” behind wanting to move better. She and Kathy compare notes about navigating older homes, fall risks, clutter, and creative adaptions that help people age in place with dignity. They share how each engage with family members to assemble a team all focused on the success of their patient or client.  The conversation then shifts into Katie’s personal life as a midlife woman: raising teens, running a thriving business, supporting a mother living with Parkinson’s, and managing the emotional weight of years of caregiving. She talks candidly about overwhelm, guilt, boundary-setting, and the constant recalibration required when home, work, and family needs collide. She also shares the small systems (like her beloved Google Tasks) that keep her grounded, and how yoga, nature, and an unexpectedly perfect Golden Retriever help her recharge. This episode is a warm, real conversation about caring for others, caring for ourselves, and finding solid footing in seasons that pull in every direction. Key Takeaways  In-home therapy reveals the real barriers to aging in place—from clutter and tight staircases to the daily habits and small challenges that aren’t visible in a clinic. Functional, goal-driven care matters most: Katie focuses on what patients actually want to do—like garden, shower safely, or return to social routines—and builds therapy around those practical goals. Collaborative PT/OT support strengthens outcomes, ensuring consistent guidance on balance, fall prevention, equipment, and home modifications. Midlife caregiving brings constant emotional and logistical weight: Katie shares the realities of supporting a parent with Parkinson’s while raising teens and running a business. Recharge rituals restore balance: Yoga, nature, and the grounding presence of her new dog help her reset when everything feels like too much. Resources and Mentions Healthy Aging Physical Therapy: https://healthyagingpt.com/ Tons of resources and videos on balance and falls: https://healthyagingpt.com/balance-and-falls  Their great monthly blog: https://healthyagingpt.com/toc   About Katie Wadland Dr. Katie Wadland, PT, DPT, Board-Certified Geriatric Clinical graduate of the MGH Institute of Health Professions and the owner/founder of Healthy Aging Physical Therapy (HAPT). She brings over 17 years of experience in inpatient, outpatient, and home care rehabilitation, having worked at many of the region’s top hospitals and home health agencies.  Since launching HAPT in July 2020 as a solo provider, Katie has grown the practice into a thriving team of 23 clinicians and support staff. HAPT serves older adults across MA with Medicare Part B–covered outpatient-at-home physical and occupational therapy, specializing in Parkinson’s disease, balance and falls, vestibular dysfunction, post-hospital recovery, and other complex neurologic and medical diagnoses.  Katie is passionate about community health and wellness education, and her team frequently partners with local senior centers and councils on aging to provide evidence-based strength and balance classes, fall prevention workshops, and community outreach programs.     

In this essential conversation, Kathy sits down with Kate Hufnagel, founder of The Digital Wrangler, to unravel the increasingly tangled world of digital and phone scams. From imposter calls and deepfake fraud to phishing emails and fake websites, Kate helps listeners understand how these scams work and what you can do to protect yourself and the people you love. Drawing from both her tech background and her personal experiences as a daughter and caregiver, Kate shares the real-world steps we can all take to secure our online lives, safeguard our data, and make smart plans for the digital “what-ifs.” The episode blends practical know-how with emotional insight, especially around helping older relatives navigate technology with confidence and compassion. Listeners will come away feeling more informed, empowered, and ready to tighten up their digital safety nets without panic or paranoia.  In This Episode How today’s scammers are getting smarter and sneakier The most common red flags for email, phone, and text scams Why education and awareness are your best defense How to talk to parents or partners about scams without judgment What to do if you suspect you’ve been targeted (or scammed) Kate’s system for organizing digital accounts, passwords, and backups Creating a digital legacy plan for your loved ones Resources and Statistics Mentioned The Digital Wrangler website and services, including her free resource “My Estate & Life Organizer” - https://www.thedigitalwrangler.com/  Kate’s 10-week program for organizing important life details: https://www.thedigitalwrangler.com/group-program  73% of all U.S. adults have experienced some kind of online scam or attack. Pew research, July 2025   https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2025/07/31/online-scams-and-attacks-in-america-today/  One trillion dollars globally in annual losses in scams: Global Anti-scam Alliance report from November, 2024  https://www.gasa.org/post/global-state-of-scams-report-2024-1-trillion-stolen-in-12-months-gasa-feedzai  Kate’s Top Tips to Stay Safe Never trust caller ID — verify the number independently Don’t respond emotionally — scammers rely on urgency and fear Use passphrases or code words with family members Freeze credit proactively (even for kids!) Back up devices and use a password manager Slow down before acting — even when a situation feels urgent  About Kate Hufnagel Kate Hufnagel, known as The Digital Wrangler, helps individuals and families take control of their online lives. She empowers people to get organized, stay secure, and prepare for life’s “digital emergencies.” A former engineer turned entrepreneur, Kate’s mission is to make technology feel approachable and manageable, especially for those balancing caregiving, aging parents, and the constant changes of the digital world. 

This week, Kathy talks with productivity expert, leadership coach, and author Ellen Faye about what it really means to be productive, and why so many of us have been getting it wrong. They unpack the myths of “doing it all,” the shifting expectations of leadership, and how midlife can be a turning point for redefining success and satisfaction. Ellen shares wisdom from her work helping professionals lead more intentionally and compassionately, offering insights that challenge the traditional hustle narrative. Together, she and Kathy explore what happens when we let go of perfectionism, create space for strategic thinking, and learn to trust ourselves again. Whether you’re managing a team, running a household, or simply feeling stuck in the quicksand of “shoulds,” this conversation will help you breathe easier and work smarter, not harder. Key Takeaways Productivity ≠ Busyness - True productivity is about effectiveness, not hours worked. The Pillars of Productivity - Understanding Ellen’s foundational view of productivity helps people chart their own course towards priorities and productivity.  Leading with Your Productivity Style - Ellen shares how a customized approach can help you understand yourself AND how to interact with others when you understand their style.  Boundaries are Leadership - Saying no and creating focus time isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Resources & Mentions Ellen’s “Unlock Your Productivity Style” Quiz https://www.ellenfaye.com  “Productivity for How You’re Wired” is available via in print, ebook, and Audible on Amazon (a 5-star rating!) https://ellenfaye.com/productivity-leadership-books/  Ellen’s coaching services, including a free discovery chat: https://www.ellenfaye.com  Ellen recommended: Kristen Neff: “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion” TEDx Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4  About Ellen Faye Ellen Faye is an ICF Professional Certified Coach, Certified Productivity Leadership Coach, and Certified Professional Organizer & Certified Organizer Coach, and author of the book “Productivity for How You’re Wired.”  From her start as a professional organizer in 2001 in home settings, she quickly evolved into working closely with entrepreneurs and their home-based businesses, not just focusing on their space anymore, but their productivity and success as business leaders. Her business has shifted to focused work with business leaders of all kinds benefit from improved focus, clarity, and productivity.  In addition to her work with clients, Ellen is committed to the organizing and productivity in many ways, including service to NAPO including a term as President, as an instructor with the Coach Approach Training Institute, and shares her gift of strategic planning with boards to help set their vision for the future.  

In this deeply informative and empowering conversation, Kathy Vines sits down with Functional Health Practitioner and owner of Nutrition & Whole Health Solutions, Sarah Tugender, to unpack the myths, misinformation, and mindset shifts surrounding perimenopause and menopause. Sarah shares her professional insight into how women can better understand the physical, emotional, and cultural aspects of this transition, and how to advocate for themselves in a healthcare system that often overlooks them. From journaling your symptoms to asking better questions in the doctor’s office, Sarah offers actionable advice for women navigating an unpredictable season of life. Together, Kathy and Sarah also dig into how decades-old research has shaped current medical practices and why many practitioners are still undereducated about menopause care. The conversation expands into related topics like inflammation, weight changes, the rise of GLP-1 medications, and how to evaluate what you’re putting into your body, from supplements to skincare to that nightly glass of wine. This episode invites women to reclaim their agency, build informed relationships with healthcare providers, and approach midlife wellness as something to be curated, not endured. Key Themes & Takeaways Track what’s changing. Your symptoms may fluctuate day to day; journaling helps you communicate clearly with your provider. Ask better questions. Many doctors received little or no menopause training; find one who stays current on hormone health. Challenge old narratives. Misinformation from decades-old studies still affects women’s options today. (Note – this episode was recorded prior to the FDA’s announcement on November 10, 2025 that this black box safety warning label will be rescinded.) Think holistically. Inflammation, cardiovascular risk, and metabolic changes all play a role in midlife health. Be a conscious consumer. Whether it’s supplements, peptides, or even wine… know what you’re putting in your body. Special Offer for Surfers! Surfing the Quicksand Podcast Listeners: Mention this podcast when scheduling and receive $100 off an initial consultation with Nutrition & Whole Health Solutions!  About Sarah Tugender: Sarah Tugender has been in the wellness industry for over 20 years, and currently owns Nutrition & Whole Health Solutions, a functional health practice just outside Boston. Throughout her career, she’s worked with thousands of women who’ve been told their symptoms are “normal” or just part of getting older and has made it her mission to change that narrative. Sarah’s passion is helping women understand their bodies and take a science-backed, personalized approach to health that cuts through the noise of trends, fads, and misinformation. She believes functional medicine shouldn’t feel complicated or exclusive; it should feel empowering, accessible, and deeply human. https://www.nutritionwholehealthsolutions.com/  https://www.instagram.com/nwhsolutions/  

“Meno-divorce,” divorces and separations initiated by women during perimenopause and menopause, are on the rise. Divorce is often painted as failure, conflict, or shame. But what if it could be something else: a process rooted in dignity, communication, and even hope for the future? In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, attorney Rebecca Neale joins Kathy to explore what it means to navigate divorce with compassion and clarity. With nearly two decades of experience, Rebecca has guided clients through some of the most difficult transitions of their lives, from amicable separations to contested cases involving domestic violence. Rebecca shares why intentional language matters, how co-parenting is really a lifelong group project, and why the decision to divorce can sometimes be the bravest (and healthiest) choice for everyone involved. She also opens up about her own story, why even a lawyer needs her own lawyer, and how mediation can unlock creative, unexpected solutions. Whether you’re considering divorce, supporting someone through it, or just curious about how to build healthier approaches to life’s big transitions, this conversation offers practical wisdom with a compassionate perspective. Episode Highlights Reframing divorce: not failure, but a life transition that can be handled with dignity. The importance of language in co-parenting and modeling respect for children. How “quiet, amicable work” builds resilience and stability for families over time. The realities of non-amicable divorces and how Rebecca supports clients’ agency and safety. Mediation as a powerful tool for problem-solving and cooperation, even in high-stakes situations. Resources and Mentions:  Book a consultation: www.bedfordfamilylaw.com   FB: https://www.facebook.com/bedfordfamilylaw/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/bedfordfamilylaw LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/bedfordfamilylaw/   Trends in divorce rates in adults over 50:  Bowling Green State University Center for Family and Marriage Research https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/FP-24-22.html# and citing Brown & Lin, The Graying of Divorce: A Half Century of Change: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35385579/  7 out of 10 women blame perimenopause / menopause in the breakdown of their marriage - The Family Law Menopause Project and Newson Health Research and Education https://www.raw-marketing.co.uk/portfolio/family-law-menopause-project/  About Rebecca Neale Attorney Rebecca Neale, J.D., helps people navigate some of the most difficult challenges in their lives. She has advocated for people in conference rooms and courtrooms for almost two decades. Now she runs a small law firm, Bedford Family Law, in the suburbs of Boston, focusing on divorce, custody, and estate planning with compassion, professionalism, and expertise. 

In this thoughtful and tender conversation, Kathy sits down with Sonya Fehér, a life coach who helps midlife women navigate transitions in identity, purpose, and relationships. Together they unpack what happens when the roles we’ve lived by begin to shift or fade, and how we can reimagine who we are when the script changes. Sonya shares deeply personal reflections on divorce, single parenting, caregiving for her mother, grappling with loss, and learning to live with awareness that time is not guaranteed. She and Kathy explore the invisible weight of midlife expectations, from career changes to menopause, and how to replace “shoulds” and shame with curiosity and self-compassion. You’ll hear how Sonya helps women assess and rebalance their energy across areas like career, health, relationships, and creativity. And you’ll be reminded that the goal of midlife isn’t to cling to who we were; it’s to discover who we’re becoming. Key Takeaways Loss and identity are intertwined. Midlife often brings a cascade of transitions (aging parents, grown children, career shifts) that challenge how we define ourselves. Midlife is not expiration. Despite cultural narratives of invisibility, this stage can be expansive and full of new possibilities and rediscovery. Redefining “I’m a person who…” We outgrow versions of ourselves; letting that evolution happen can be freeing rather than frightening. Experimentation is essential. From fitness habits to friendships, trying new things - and being okay when they don’t stick - helps clarify what truly fits now.  Resources and Mentions:  https://spacewiseorganizing.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyafeher/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenlearninghowtobehappy https://www.facebook.com/spaceWiseOrganizing/ https://www.instagram.com/spacewiseorganizing/ Amazon: Sonya’s latest Gratitude Journal: https://amzn.to/3WXfRCw  About Sonya Fehér:Sonya Fehér is a midlife women’s coach, life organizer, speaker, and author who helps women navigate transitions and step into the next chapter of their lives with clarity, joy, and purpose.  Drawing on her background in mindfulness, happiness research, and strategic coaching, Sonya’s passion is helping women not just manage change, but embrace midlife as a powerful opportunity to create the second half of life with intention. 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, host Kathy Vines takes us through her own journey of learning more about productivity as a framework for getting things done, and how it shaped her work with others long before she became a Certified Professional Organizer ® and a Productivity Coach. She shares more about her foundational language she shares with others when she’s supporting their goal of being more productive while still valuing a quality of life.  The episode is perfect for anyone curious about organizing their tasks, finding motivation, or just wanting to rethink how they spend their precious resources of time, money, and energy.  In this episode, you’ll hear:  How Stuff, Systems, and Habits isn’t just for our physical world, but also our time and task Our three currencies in life - Time, Money, and Energy - and how our choices impact each of them How Kathy’s love of helping others be more productive while balancing a quality of life will inform many of her guest episodes here on the podcast.  Resources and Links: Learn more about Productivity Coaching with Kathy https://www.kathyvines.com/productivity-coach/  Learn more about David Allen, Getting Things Done https://gettingthingsdone.com/ 

When entrepreneur Abbie Romanul decided to quit drinking eight years ago, she wasn’t just changing a habit; she was reshaping her life. In this inspiring conversation, Abbie shares how her personal decision to stop drinking became the spark behind Raising the Bar, the first and only zero-proof cocktail subscription box in the U.S. Host Kathy Vines talks with Abbie about what it means to navigate a “gray area” relationship with alcohol, one that doesn’t fit the old labels of “alcoholic” or “normal drinker.” Abbie opens up about the stigma she faced in corporate culture and how that experience motivated her to build something that made mindful celebration both inclusive and elevated. Their conversation touches on much more than business. It’s about growth, identity, and the courage to redefine yourself in midlife. Abbie shares what it took to launch a company while parenting, caregiving, and recalibrating her sense of purpose, and how she found strength in honoring her own boundaries while deeply steeped in the demands of the sandwich generation.  Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of how self-awareness and courage at any age can transform personal challenges into purpose-driven innovation and how redefining success often starts with saying no to what no longer serves you. Key Takeaways Reinvention can start with one small, honest choice. Abbie’s decision to quit drinking wasn’t about hitting rock bottom; it was when she realized she wanted something better, and that being served was no longer serving her.  Purpose can come from the gaps we notice in our own lives. When Abbie saw how hard it was to celebrate without alcohol, she didn’t just wish for a solution, she created one. Celebration doesn’t require alcohol. The ethos behind Raising the Bar emphasizes inclusivity, creativity, and joy, offering alternative ways to celebrate without compromise. Entrepreneurship can create unexpected freedom. Abbie shares how starting her business gave her flexibility to be fully present for her family, especially during her mother’s illness, showing that running your own venture can offer life-altering autonomy. “One day at a time” is a mantra for more than just recovery. The AA phrase resonated with Abbie as a life philosophy, helping her navigate emotional, professional, and personal challenges without being overwhelmed by the big picture. Curating life is a conscious act. Abbie’s story illustrates that creating a fulfilling life requires intentional choices, especially for women balancing multiple roles. About Abbie  Abbie Romanul is an entrepreneur and the co-founder and CEO of Raising the Bar, redefining how people celebrate with elevated zero-proof cocktails. After quitting drinking, Abbie saw an unmet demand for elevated zero-proof experiences and turned it into a business opportunity. She leveraged her deep marketing expertise and created a brand that makes inclusive celebration both accessible and aspirational.  Since launching in 2020, Raising the Bar has grown into a multi-million-dollar e-commerce subscription business. With 70+ innovative cocktail kits and partnerships with leading non-alcoholic brands, Raising the Bar is helping thousands of individuals and businesses celebrate with sophistication, creativity, and connection, no alcohol required. A passionate advocate for the zero-proof space, female founders, and purpose-driven business, Abbie has been featured on Forbes, BevNet and leading podcasts.  Special Offer For Surfing the Quicksand Listeners: Don’t forget that code for Raising the Bar! Use SURFING20 to get 20% off your first order with Raising the Bar at weareraisingthebar.com. Code is usable through May 31, 2026. Find out more about Raising the Bar:  weareraisingthebar.com  instagram @weareraisingthebar.com 

In this episode, Kathy talks with fitness coach Nicole Wade about how midlife women can evolve their approach to exercise, wellness, and self-belief. Nicole shares her deep experience and insights on creating age-appropriate strength programs that support bone health, balance, and overall vitality. She emphasizes the power of aligning your actions with your goals, challenging negative self-talk, and finding empowerment through community support. The conversation illustrates how personal growth and fitness go hand-in-hand at every stage of life. Key Takeaways: Fitness at any age: Midlife women can safely engage in strength training to build muscle, improve bone density, and enhance balance, even if they’re new to it or have health concerns. Align actions with goals: Success comes from clarifying your goals and taking consistent, purposeful actions to achieve them. Mindset matters: Shifting from negative self-talk to positive self-talk is critical for progress; what you tell yourself shapes what you do. Community support: Being part of a supportive group helps sustain motivation, celebrate wins, and maintain accountability. Resources and Links:  More about Progressive Overload:  Progressive overload is a principle that refers to increasing a stimulus over time. In strength training, these are: weight, reps, sets, time under tension, or combinations thereof.  When we perform the same exercises with the same weight, rep, and set scheme, over time we see diminishing returns. Muscle and bone need to be challenged to produce changes.  About Nicole:  Nicole Wade is a Certified Personal Trainer, Pilates Instructor, and Nutritionist, with Master of Education and Master of Public Health degrees.  With 20 years’ experience and a focus on women’s health, Nicole specializes in menopause fitness, osteoporosis wellness, and aligning goals with action. Nicole believes in the power of community fitness and creates effective and engaging fitness experiences tailored specifically for the unique needs of women 40 and up.  Follow Nicole on Instagram at @heartnsoulbynicole  

Episode Description:When technology is overwhelming for our parents (or even for us),patience, empathy, and the right kind of support can make all the difference. In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines sits down with Kristin Thorp, founder and Executive Director of SDM Foundation501(c)(3) nonprofit focused on teaching how to use technology, to explore how her team empowers older adults to embrace technology without shame or frustration.Kristin shares:Why doing it for someone often makes things worse, and why teaching with them creates real confidenceHow shame and language barriers hold people back, and how to break through themWhy AI’s quick answers in a search can be misleading and part of the problem of creating fixes confidentlyHow technology became a lifeline and required fast adoption and adaption during and since the pandemic, from grocery delivery to telehealthThe reality for adult children who often become “tech support,” and how we can give ourselves grace when our patience runs thinThis conversation is a reminder that caregiving in the digital age isn’t just about fixing problems; it’s about restoring dignity, building independence, and remembering that patience often matters more than technical expertise. And it’s about creating more empathy for the senior who struggles and finding a fresh pathway to help. Tune in to discover practical insights and inspiring stories that will change how you approach technology with your loved ones, and maybe even with yourself.Resources And Mentions:SDM Foundation: https://www.sdmfoundation.org/SDM Foundation on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sdmfoundationSDM Foundation Blog: https://www.sdmfoundation.org/blog/SDM Foundation on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/sdmfoundation/Donate to the 501(c)3: https://www.sdmfoundation.org/donations/

Episode Description:The “Midlife Leap” series introduces women who have made big professional shifts in midlife. Their stories inspire new ways of thinking about what is possible in this stage of life!In this episode, Sara Skillen shares her inspiring journey from exploring her own inner purpose to stepping in to own and lead the Coach Approach Training Institute (CATI). Sara talks about how spiritual reflection, professional readiness, and supportive mentors guided her decision to take the leap. She also dives into the core of proper training for coaches, the foundational Coaching Essentials program from CATI, and sharing how it helps both beginners and experienced professionals level up their coaching skills. Whether you’re curious about coaching, thinking about a career pivot, or just seeking strategies to get“unstuck,” Sara’s story is a reminder that preparation, community, and bravery can align to create life-changing opportunities.Topics Covered in This Episode:Recognizing when the timing is right for a big careershiftThe role of spiritual and inner work in her professional growthCollaboration, mentorship, and the power of asking for helpCoaching Essentials: what it is, how it works, and why it’s a great starting pointStrategies for getting unstuck and staying groundedHow to recharge and create personal rituals for clarity and balanceResources & Links:Coaching Essentials course and registration (next 8-week cohort begins January 2026): https://coachapproachtraining.com/foundation-training/coaching-essentials/https://coachapproachtraining.com/ExploreSara’s ADHD Coaching at SkillSet Coaching: https://skillsetcoaching.com/Follow Sara on social media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saraskillencoaches/IG @skillsetcoaching and @coachapproachtrainingSara’s book: Organizing and Big Scary Goals:About the Guest:Sara Skillen, PCC, COLC, CPO Sara Skillen is a coach, mentor, and trainer passionate about helping others explore their purpose and potential. Sara is the Owner/Director of Education of Coach Approach Training Institute, and the founder of SkillSet Coaching in Nashville, TN. A credentialed coach and Certified Professional Organizer®, she has been assisting with training student coaches through Coach Approach since 2019. She is the author of Organizing and Big Scary Goals and is a contributor to the Institute of Challenging Disorganization (ICD)’s recent book on chronic disorganization, writing the chapter focused on ADHD. In addition to her teaching, client work, and writing, she continually studies the impact of awareness and inner work on creating holistic, real-life order. With this rich background in coaching, spiritual direction, education, and organizational expertise, Sara brings insight, empathy, and a collaborative spirit to her work and to this Surfing the Quicksand episode today.Subscribe today!@quicksandpod | Quicksandpod.com

In this solo episode of Surfing the Quicksand, host Kathy Vines pulls back the curtain on her career coaching and résumé writing practice, sharing how her work with Gen X and Elder Millennial clients has shaped her perspective on helping clients get unstuck. With over20 years in HR and more than a decade coaching midlife professionals, Kathy highlights the common career crossroads women face in their 40s and 50s, from suddenly needing to take charge of their career direction, to balancing work and family demands, to confronting age bias and the desire to scale back. Through stories, patterns, and insights, Kathy reveals how clarity, storytelling, and self-advocacy are essential tools in navigating professional reinvention at any stage of midlife.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Phases of how career priorities often shift in our 40s and 50s.Why storytelling is at the heart of résumés, interviews, and career transitions.How Kathy’s passion for résumé writing and coaching helps clients discover their voice and advocate for their future.How this same talent in storytelling is the backbone of all the guest interviews for Surfing the Quicksand.Resources & Mentions:Learn more about Kathy’s career coaching and résumé services: https://www.kathyvines.com

Parenting today’s tweens and teens is no small task, especially when executive function challenges, ADHD, and anxiety are in the mix. In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy sits down with Leslie Josel, award-winning academic and parenting coach, to explore how parents can move from frustration and helplessness to practical tools that actually support their kids. Leslie shares how the landscape of student coaching has shifted: once focused on time management and study skills, it now often involves navigating anxiety, overwhelm, and school systems that don’t always provide the right supports. She helps parents understand what it means to accept their child’s “executive age” (which may lag years behind their chronological age) and why recalibrating expectations is the first step to easing tension at home. Leslie highlights how critical intentional communication is at every step of the way.This conversation is packed with strategies parents can use right away, including:How to set parameters while giving your child agency.Why structured choices reduceanxiety and increase motivation.The importance of letting kids experience safe discomfort and failure.How to shift your language from “you have to” to “you get to choose.”The role of micro-moment willpower in building lifelong resilience.Leslie also introduces powerful communication tools, like WAIT (“Why Am I Talking?”), that help parents step back, listen, and guide instead of fixing. And she reminds us that resilience deserves recognition and that specific praise for kids’ small wins can have a lasting impact. If you’ve ever felt helpless, frustrated, or unsure how to support your child through the challenges of ADHD, executive dysfunction, or just the daily overwhelm of growing up, this episode offers both validation and hope.Leslie Josel is an internationally recognized academic and parenting coach, the founder of Order Out of Chaos®and one of the most trusted voices on ADHD and executive functioning. For over 22 years, she’s helped parents, students, and professionals cut through the overwhelm and build the skills needed for success in school, at work and in life. Leslie is an author of three acclaimed books including How to Do It Now Because It’s Not Going Away. She’s the creator of the award-winning Academic Planner: A Tool for Time Management®. She’s been named one of the Top 20 Time Management Experts in the World by Global Gurus for eight consecutive years. And for years, Leslie penned ADDitude Magazine’s beloved “Dear ADHD Family Coach®” column, where her real-talk advice helped families navigate the complexities of ADHD and executive functioning. For years, A sought-after speaker, she presents globally, equipping audiences with practical, proven tools to thrive and today, she shares that experience and wisdom with the Surfing the Quicksand community. Where to find Leslie:Websites: Orderoochaos.com and LeslieJosel.comInstagram: @order.out.of.chaos https://www.instagram.com/order.out.of.chaos/Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/orderoutofchaos Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/orderoutofchaos ADDitude Magazine column about ADHD teens and driving referenced in the episode: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-driving-teen-license-safety/More about Executive Dysfunction and Executive Age:https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-executive-function-disorder/

Episode SummaryWhat’s really behind the piles, the closets full of “someday” items, or the boxes of gifts we don’t love but still keep? Professional organizer and coach Kathy Vines, Certified Professional Organizer®and host of Surfing the Quicksand shares the framework she uses with clients, book readers, and her Clever Girl Organizing Challenge community: looking at your stuff, systems, and habits. You’ll hear how family dynamics, stories we tell ourselves about our belongings, and values in conflict (like guilt over gifts) can keep us weighed down. Kathy breaks down some of the most common barriers to letting go, from “I might need it someday” to “this reminds me of who I used to be.”This episode is a primer for the organizing and decluttering conversations Kathy will revisit throughout the podcast, designed to help midlife women live more intentionally, lighten their load, and finally feel at home in their homes.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The three root causes of disorganization: stuff, systems, and habits.How tospot some triggers for when the stuff has you stuck.Why guilt (especially around gifts) keeps so many of us stuck.The hidden ways identity and “aspirational” items weigh us down.Simple questions to ask yourself before keeping“I might need it someday” stuff,“just in case.”How values in conflict (when two strong beliefs are mutually exclusive indecisions)shape your clutter.Resources & MentionsKathy’s Book: Clever Girl’s Guide to Living with Less: Break Free from Your Stuff EvenWhen Your Head and Heart Get in the Way https://amzn.to/4oTUQp2The CleverGirl Organizing Challenge (annual program) https://www.clevergirlorganizing.com/2026-clever-girl-organizing-challenge/Call to ActionIf this episode got you thinking about your own stuff, systems, or habits, share your thoughts in the YouTube comments or tag Kathy on Instagram. And don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes on decluttering, productivity, and navigating midlife changes

Episode SummaryWelcome to the very first episode of Surfing the Quicksand! In this introduction, host Kathy Vines shares the story behind the podcast, why she started it, who it’s for, and the kinds of conversations you can expect. Kathy opens up about her own journey: shifting from 20 years in Human Resources to building her businesses in professional organizing, productivity, and career coaching. Along the way, she’s discovered that what she loves most is helping midlife women (Gen X and older Millennials) navigate the places where life feels sticky and overwhelming.In this episode, you’ll hear about: - Why Kathy resisted starting a podcast for years (hint: she was stuck, too). - The meaning behind the name Surfing the Quicksand.- Kathy’s career evolution from HR to entrepreneurship, and how it connects to her mission.- The wide range of topics this podcast will cover—from organizing and productivity to health, career, caregiving, finances, relationships, and more. - How solo episodes and guest interviews (including inspiring “midlife leaps”) will help you reflect, reset, and move forward. If you’ve ever thought, “I thought life would be different at this age,” and you’re looking for ideas, inspiration, and encouragement to get unstuck, this podcast is for you.Resources & LinksConnect with Kathy:[email protected] more about Kathy’s work: Clever Girl Organizing | Kathy Vines Career Coaching Kathy’s book: Clever Girl’s Guide to Living with LessSubscribe & ReviewIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe to Surfing the Quicksand on your favorite podcast platform and leave a review. Your support helps more midlife women discover the show and start their own journey to getting unstuck.Subscribe today! @quicksandpod Quicksandpod.com

After years of hearing, "Kathy, would you EVER do a podcast?" I finally knew that what I wanted to talk about was helping midlife women (think: GenX and Older Millennials) get unstuck. At home. At work. In relationships. In health. In all those "defined by others" identities - mom, wife, daughter, caregiver. With my new podcast, "Surfing the Quicksand," I'm trying to do just that. Solo episodes and guest interviews will guide us all helping as we try to make sure the quicksand we feel everyday doesn't swallow us up, and instead, we surf through this phase of life with confidence and hope. Launching September 2025 | Quicksandpod.com