The Athlete Confidential

What if the problem isn’t how hard we’re working—but the system we’re working within?In this episode of The Athlete Confidential, we explore the myth of meritocracy—the belief that success is earned solely through talent, intelligence, and effort—and how it shows up in sports, especially women’s sports. From being told to "just be grateful" for the bare minimum to navigating financial barriers that make even getting in the game a privilege, we unpack how this deeply rooted myth fuels shame, self-blame, and burnout.Joined by guests Stacey Rutland, founder of Income Movement, and Jenna Gerry & Amy Durrence from Broad Consultants, we examine how structural inequalities—from unpaid internships to wage gaps—keep the playing field anything but level. We also discuss how policies like universal basic income could radically change what access, equity, and athlete well-being actually look like.This episode is part of the "Myth of Meritocracy" campaign—a call to action led by athletes #adTo learn more about these initiatives, follow Income Movement on Instagram @incomemovement or visit Income Movement to join their community and weekly newsletter.Follow Broad Consultants on Instagram @broadconsultantsFollow other influencers a part of the campaign: @alysiamontaro @hannahzunichcosta @bballerbritt @cailin.bloom

In this solo episode, host Gabbie Ewing shares updates on everything happening behind the scenes at The Athlete Confidential, along with some personal life changes. Reflecting on the transitions in her life, Gabbie is reminded of a significant moment—her retirement from soccer. She discusses five valuable lessons she learned while navigating through change.

In this episode we are joined by Anna Miller, former collegiate soccer player and current overseas goalie who shares her coming out story and the internal struggles she faced exploring her queer identity while maintaining her athlete identity.Anna made a decision to transfer after her sophomore year despite loving and thriving in the soccer program where she started her collegiate career, a sacrifice that would change the trajectory of her student-athlete experience on and off the field.Go to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

We sit down with DJ Ahana, a former college basketball player turned mental health therapist. From team manager to starter, DJ shares his unconventional journey through college sports and what kept him motivated through it all. DJ eventually discovered an interest in pursuing a career in mental health where he went on a personal discovery to self-love and understanding of himself outside of sport.We explore DJ's path from college athlete to mental health professional and his desire to share his passion with other athletes like himself. As a young Black man, DJ candidly expresses his personal struggles and the challenges he faced in finding his place in the mental health field. Instagram: @dennisahanaGo to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

 Audrey Baldwin, a former professional soccer player with over nine years of experience overseas, shares her unfiltered journey through the highs and lows of the game. Audrey takes us behind the scenes, revealing the challenges and pressures she faced navigating different teams, contracts, and countries. From the exhilaration of victory to the agony of countless injuries, Audrey shares the untold stories that lie beyond the spotlight of professional athletics.Instagram: @audball_00Go to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about mental health struggles, including thoughts of suicide. If you or someone you know is having a crisis please call or text 988.Former football player turned entrepreneur, Brandon Allen, takes us on a journey of self-discovery and resilience. Through his personal experiences of battling injuries and self-doubt on the sidelines, Brandon reveals how he navigated through tough times and emerged stronger. As the founder of The Hood Hippie Love Yourself clothing brand, Brandon shares how he transformed his challenges into opportunities for growth, ultimately embracing self-love and inspiring others to do the same. Join us as Brandon reflects on his journey, offering invaluable insights on changing perspectives, overcoming adversity, and finding empowerment through self-acceptance.Instagram: @loveyourselfGo to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

In this episode, we are joined by the Author of "Everything I Got," Julia Allain. Julia is a former athlete and current mental skills coach who wrote a book that includes 30 lessons about "what you give, what you get, and how you grow through sports" based on her personal experiences as an athlete and life after sports.Instagram: @allainmentalperformanceGo to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

We're joined by Morgan Bullock, a former DI softball player turned life coach and founder of Sportswomen Co. Morgan shares her journey of transitioning from the high-pressure world of collegiate athletics to the multifaceted realm of "real" life and motherhood. She candidly discusses the challenges she faced in rediscovering her identity post-sport and how she utilized her athletic background to navigate this pivotal period of self-discovery.As Morgan reflects on her experiences as both an athlete and a mother, she illuminates the striking parallels between the two roles. From setting goals to embracing resilience, she draws insightful connections, showcasing how the skills honed on the diamond seamlessly translate into the realm of parenthood. Morgan not only inspires listeners to embrace change but also underscores the transformative power of harnessing one's athletic mindset to win within.Instagram: @[email protected] to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

Happy National Athletic Trainer Appreciation Day.Celebrate by revisiting our episode with University of Portland Senior Athletic Trainer, Miho Arai on mental health.We sit down with Miho Arai, Senior Athletic Trainer from the University of Portland who's on a mission to champion mental health in the world of sports. With a refreshing perspective, Miho emphasizes the importance of taking care of our minds alongside our bodies, and she opens up about her own personal journey with mental health. Get ready to dive into an insightful conversation as Miho shares practical tips, personal stories, and her unwavering passion for helping athletes thrive both on and off the field. Instagram: @miholalala_@portlandsportsmed

In this episode, we are joined by Will Bush, a student-athlete at the University of Portland. As the SAAC president, Will is on a mission to ensure that the voices and needs of student-athletes are heard and addressed, especially when it comes to mental health.Will shares his struggles with mental health and how he's navigated them throughout his collegiate journey. Despite facing several injuries that have sidelined him from competition for much of his career, Will remains resilient and committed to fostering a supportive environment for his fellow athletes.Tune in as we explore the intersection of college athletics and mental health, gaining valuable perspectives from Will's personal experiences and his efforts to initiate positive change within the athletic community. Go to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

In this episode, we are joined by Mo Fitzgerald, possibly one of the coolest people we know. Mo is completely unfiltered and unapologetic and we love her for that. As a competitive athlete, she brings firsthand experiences and insights into the realm of women's sports.We explore the journey of women's sports, from the groundbreaking impact of Title IX to the dynamic role of social media in shaping its landscape. Mo fearlessly shares her stories, shedding light on the triumphs and challenges faced by female athletes.Join us as we unpack the complexities, celebrate the victories, and pave the way forward in dismantling the patriarchal structures that have long hindered the progress of female athletes. Book: Good Girl by Maureen Fitzgerald

Kicking off season two with a solo episode.In this episode, The Athlete Confidential Podcast Host, Gabbie Ewing shares her hardest truth. Gabbie reveals the real reason that pushed her to retire from sport. She shares a part of her story that she's never shared publicly before and the recovery journey she has been on for the last few years. Grab your tissue box and get cozy for this one.Trigger warning:This podcast episode discusses sensitive topics related to body image, body dysmorphia, and eating disorders. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is struggling with these issues, please seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or professional.Go to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

In this episode we are joined by Willey who we have claimed as our female sport expert and just all around cool human. She's not just your average sports fanatic; she's lived and breathed the game herself. In this episode we dive into the world of female sports, chatting about hot takes, fashion, WNBA, NWSL and more. But it's not all about headlines; we're getting real with Willey about her own journey through sports. From hoop dreams to soccer fields we hear about the challenges she faced trying to make it as a college athlete. So, if you're into sports, inspiring stories, or just some good old-fashioned girl power, this episode is a must-listen! Go to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

Dr. Adrian Ferrera, Sport Psychology Consultant, joins us on this episode to discuss the relationship between the mind, mental health and performance. We cover the importance of self talk, repairing relationships, and knowing what questions to ask yourself when you feel like walking away from your sport. www.adrianferrera.comInstagram: dradrianferreraA Journey ForwardGo to https://betterhelp.com/athleteconfidential for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored

Trigger Warning: Topics such as suicide and suicide ideation are discussed in this episode. We're joined by Sarah Golleme, who shares her journey of grief after losing her teammate and cherished friend, Jordyn Clark. Sarah and Jordyn were goalies on the same collegiate soccer team, but their connection extended far beyond the field. Sarah opens up about how she looked up to Jordyn, not only as a soccer inspiration but as a beacon of friendship and support. She walks us through the turbulent waves of emotions she navigated following the loss of Jordyn.  This episode is about continuing to share Jordyns light. Sarah shares the story of how she and Jordyn's mother established a foundation in Jordyn's honor. This foundation serves as a lasting tribute to Jordyn's radiant spirit and provides hope and help to those grappling with similar pain. Throughout the conversation, Sarah provides insights into her healing process, emphasizing the importance of seeking professional assistance and leaning on a support network. Join us in this moving episode as we commemorate Jordyn's memory.If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis call or text 988. Seek professional help immediately.Website: https://jordynclark.org/Instagram: @jclarkfoundationFacebook: Jordyn Clark FoundationSuicide Awareness & Prevention Apparel: https://www.bonfire.com/happytohaveyouhere/

Join us in this episode as we sit down with Brae Akana, a former UH Manoa volleyball player who recently bid farewell to her college athletic career. Brae takes us through her thought process and considerations that led to her decision, highlighting the significance of self-discovery and making choices in line with one's individual journey. Her insights provide a valuable guide for fellow athletes facing similar crossroads.In addition to her personal journey, Brae sheds light on the lesser-discussed aspects of retiring from competitive sports. She shares the challenges and adjustments she's encountered post-retirement . Moreover, we delve into the evolving landscape of collegiate athletics with the advent of Name, Image, Likeness (NIL) opportunities. Brae discusses both the positive impacts and potential drawbacks of NIL, offering a balanced view on how it's reshaping the lives of student-athletes.

Trigger Warning: Topics of abuse and suicide are discussed in this episode. We sit down with Karelle Edwards-Perry LMHCA, CMPC, a former Canadian National Team Hurdler, as she shares her story in this podcast episode. Karelle opens up about her journey dealing with a chronic back injury that significantly impacted her collegiate and professional athletic pursuits, as well as her mental health. She candidly discusses the hurdles she faced in building confidence and how her experiences growing up in a predominantly white community as a biracial woman shaped her identity both as an individual and as an athlete.In this episode, Karelle's introspective conversation touches on themes of resilience, self-acceptance, and embracing one's unique journey. Her insights into navigating setbacks and challenges will resonate with anyone striving to overcome adversity. Join us as we explore the powerful intersections of sports, personal growth, and the pursuit of inner strength.

This time, we're diving into the world of student-athletes with Jonathan Curran, a  golfer in his fifth year at Saint Mary's who's changing the game. See, Jonathan loves golf, but life threw him a curveball with some his mental health struggles. Instead of keeping it under wraps, he decided to start his own podcast called "Stories by Student Athletes."  In this episode we get to hear about his personal journey and his mission to help de-stigmatize the misconceptions of mental health pertaining to athletes. Join us as we chat with Jonathan about how he's turning his own struggles into strength and giving other athletes a platform to do the same. It's all about being open, sharing stories, and showing that it's okay not to be okay. 

Join us for a compelling episode featuring Mac from "The Sideline Perspective" as we delve into the often-unexplored world of grieving the loss of sports and dismantling society's expectations that athletes should always be invulnerable. Mac shares personal insights and experiences, shedding light on the emotional journey athletes undergo when stepping away from their sport. Together, we challenge the notion that vulnerability is a weakness, emphasizing the strength and growth that can arise from embracing and expressing emotions. We discuss the importance of creating a supportive environment that allows athletes to grieve, heal, and transition into life beyond the game. Whether you're an athlete, fan, or simply intrigued by the intersection of sports and mental well-being, this episode offers valuable insights into the unspoken aspects of the athletic journey. 

We sit down with Miho Arai, Senior Athletic Trainer from the University of Portland who's on a mission to champion mental health in the world of sports. With a refreshing perspective, Miho emphasizes the importance of taking care of our minds alongside our bodies, and she opens up about her own personal journey with mental health. Get ready to dive into an insightful conversation as Miho shares practical tips, personal stories, and her unwavering passion for helping athletes thrive both on and off the field. Instagram: @miholalala_@portlandsportsmed

Mental performance coaching mock up session and post session discussion with mental performance coach Alex Barene and your host of The Athlete Confidential Podcast Gabbie Ewing.Alex takes Gabbie through a mock up mental performance coaching session where they discuss her struggles with life after sport, personal identity, and transitioning from competitive athlete to the professional working space. Alex and Gabbie discuss values and how you can use your values to determine actions to help lead you on a path of becoming "who you want to be."Disclaimer: No clinical assessment was done. This is just a mock up session for entertainment purposes and does not substitute for professional medical advice. It is advised to consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment.Watch on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fBFGB0m9sA

In this episode, we sit down with Tyler Ichiki, a former collegiate golfer who experienced firsthand the challenges of anxiety, self-imposed pressure, and the impact they can have on performance. Tyler shares his personal journey of rediscovering his love for golf after graduating, and how this newfound enjoyment has led to improved performance on the course.But Tyler's story doesn't end there. He is now deeply invested in a project aimed at enhancing support systems for student athletes. Join us as we delve into the insights and experiences Tyler has gathered along the way, discussing the crucial importance of holistic support for student athletes and exploring strategies to ensure their well-being both during their athletic careers and beyond.

We dive deep into the personal journey of Taiana Tolleson, a former D1 soccer player who faced immense mental struggles during her time as a college athlete. Taiana shares her raw and honest account of how she distanced herself from the sport after graduation, feeling disillusioned and disconnected. However, three years later, she undergoes a powerful transformation, rediscovering her purpose and reigniting her love for soccer.Join us as we explore Taiana's inspiring story of resilience and determination. She reveals how her newfound purpose extends far beyond her own ambitions, focusing on becoming an example for the youth of Hawaii, her home. Through her unwavering dedication and passion, Taiana aims to inspire and empower the next generation of athletes in her community.

Baron Rapozo, jiu-jitsu athlete and sports performance coach joins us for this episode of The Athlete Confidential Podcast. Brace yourself for an authentic conversation that delves into a journey of self-discovery. Baron takes us through some of his most personal thoughts as he reveals how he's shed societal expectations and embraced vulnerability like a champ. He fearlessly opens up about his own battle with depression, anxiety and uncovers how this very experience served as a catalyst for his transformation. In this refreshingly candid discussion, Baron's story will challenge traditional notions of masculinity, empowering listeners to reconsider their own perspectives.

Embark on a captivating solo episode as I delve into the uncharted territory of moving on from the world of sports. After an unexpected break down following a triggering event, I explore the challenging transition that often goes unnoticed. I confront the raw realities of leaving behind a sports-driven lifestyle, unearthing the unspoken struggles that many of us face. Tune in as I get vulnerable about grieving my old life as an athlete and the struggles of moving on.

Alexa Antipas a former DI NCAA collegiate fencer speaks up about her experience with a toxic coach, which ultimately left her walking away from the sport she once loved with a bitter taste in her mouth. However, Alexa seeks to break the cycle of trauma through coaching young fencers and being the coach she needed as a young adult. Additionally, Alexa debunks some fencing stereotypes and we learn a lot about the sport of fencing from her. Alexa is candid and vulnerable and her story is not one unfamiliar to many athletes. 

Mental Performance Coach and former collegiate soccer player, Alex Barene, sits down with us to share his personal struggle with anxiety in sport and how that led him to where he is today. Alex works with athletes to help improve confidence, manage anxiety, avoid burnout, and ultimately give them the mental tools to perform better. Alex dives into the true meaning of mental toughness and provides us with golden nuggets to better understand ourselves and how we can use that knowledge to cope with stress and anxiety in sport. Enjoy this episode, you will definitely learn something today!

Molly Danielson a former collegiate basketball player tells us about her experience playing basketball overseas. Molly takes us through her journey of getting to England and speaks openly about her time there. She takes through the highs and low of her career, including two major knee injuries and how she was able to bounce back and land on her feet after deciding to retire from competitive sport. 

Emma Tarbeth is a former collegiate cross country skier who had dreams of going to the olympics, but found herself struggling to find her way while navigating a toxic relationship with her coach. Emma opens up about the realization of that relationship and how she came to terms with the truth of her experience of abuse in sport and she is using her story to help, empower, and educate other athletes.TRIGGER WARNING: Topics of eating disorders and abuse covered in this episode.Instagram: @therexprojectWebsite: therexproject.org

Former collegiate baseball player and Co-Founder and CEO of Athletes to Athletes, Reid Meyer, joins us on todays episode. Reid shares his personal struggles with mental health while navigating college athletics and life after sport. He tells us about his experiences inspired his company Athletes to Athletes and how he is helping athletes navigate the college recruiting process with a more human and holistic approach.TRIGGER WARNING: Themes of body dysmorphia and suicide in this episode.Athletes to Athletes:Website: https://athletestoathletes.com/Instagram: @a2aacademyPodcast: The Athletes to Athletes Podcast

Kasey Ames, retired DII NCAA Soccer player, former teammate of mine, and forever best friend joins me for a special Q&A episode where we talk about everything from pulling pranks on our coaches to conspiracy theories. This episode is fun, light hearted, and meant to give you guys a look into our lives as student-athletes. Enjoy!Instagram: @theathleteconfidentialWebsite: www.athleteconfidential.com

Former professional soccer player and teammate of mine joins me on todays episode to talk about our shared experiences playing overseas and the ripple effect of expectations not being met. Rachel is currently studying art therapy and talks about the benefits of art therapy for athletes. For more from Rachel read her blog post on our website titled "Living the Dream."Instagram: @theathleteconfidentialWebsite: www.athleteconfidential.comRachel's Instagram: rach.blank

Former athlete and 6x Women's Rugby National Champion Nika Paogofie-Buyten  joins us to talk about what it was like growing up playing sport in Hawaii, her transition into college, and figuring out her identity post competitive sport. Instagram: @theathleteconfidentialWebsite: athleteconfidential.comNika's Instagram: dinekenlee

Earl Thompson Jr. is a professional basketball player in Portugal. Originally from the Virgin Islands, Earl has not had the easiest route to playing professional sports, but his love for the game kept him going through moments of doubt and adversity. Earl's Instagram: [email protected]

Join me today while I sit down with my brother, NCAA Division I Quarterback, Austin Ewing. We talk about our experiences growing up playing sports in Hawaii, our hopes for the next generation of athletes and most of all we talk about what it was like for him to go through three ACL tears and still keep playing football. All of this and more. Tune in to hear Austin Ewing share his story.

It's been a while, but we are back baby! Welcome back to The Athlete Confidential Podcast. This is the official relaunch episode. If you're new here thanks for joining and if you're a returning listener, hi friend! Listen for a little refresh. Instagram: @theathleteconfidentialHost Instagram: @gabbieewingWebsite: www.athleteconfidential.com