PODCAST · sports
The Blue Machine
by Aaron Cartwright, Thomas Hatton, Robert Moore
The Blue Machine:The Optimist - Aaron CartwrightThe Realist - Tom HattonThe Pessimist - Rob MooreThree unique viewpoints on everything related to Birmingham City, brought together to form a plethora of debate, disagreements and ridiculous moments.
Episodes
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The Redemption Arc
Birmingham City look sharper, tougher, and far more dangerous than they did last season — but are they wasting the chance to turn good performances into a genuine promotion push? Taz, Tom & Jon break down the Blues’ new identity, the missed chances that are keeping games close, and why this team...
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How Do You Like Your Toast?
The Blue Machine are back... Blues have shown they can go toe-to-toe with promotion contenders — but is this the start of a special season, or just a brilliant run in a brutal Championship opening? Taz, Tom & Jon break down: The Wolves draw Tom Wagner’s emotional return Stansfield’s thunderbolt...
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BLUES ARE BACK
The Blue Machine are back: minus Rob but with the addition of Barrington aka Jon. In keeping with the AI theme, this is what it said this weeks episode is about (if you ask us it's way too formal for us gimps: Birmingham City are building something real - and this episode makes the case for why…
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That's A Wrap
We are back for the last dance of the 2025/26 season as we wrap up what was an entertaining campaign both on and off the field for The Blue Machine. We bring to you the coveted 'End of Season Alternative Awards', with some cracking nominations - and we say farewell to Barrington Decor with some...
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International Men of Mystery
The Blue Machine pod is BACK after an extended period out due to holidays, work trips and the general business of life. We'll let you listen and enjoy our ramblings as we go between the final run of results, to reshaping the squad and most important - should he stay or should he go? Thanks as...
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Keep Pounding The Rock
The Blue Machine are back with an international break pod - because we don't just pod when we're winning / losing / having a meltdown. We look forward to a Bank Holiday double header as we chat: Blackburn & Ipswich Previews Salty Ex-Player Interviews Do We Back The CD Proj? Listener Questions (+...
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Buy John, Not Jhon
In a quick turnaround, The Blue Machine are back and we have a jam packed episode full of: Derby Defeat & Football Terrorism What Happens Next? Rest of the Season Objectives Extended Listener Questions This one was great fun to record, with plenty of heated debate and we hope that you enjoy...
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Chris Davies Paints By Numbers
We are back for this weeks Blue Machine pod, after a small break due to conflicting schedules. There's lots to catch up on in this episode, with a proper mixed bag of results - and we talk: Will CD ever be flexible with his system? Risky recruitment Fun days out in Derby Chris Davies: The Artist?...
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'Boro is a MUST win....or is it?
The Blue Machine pod is back and this week we bring you a whole array of optimism, realism and pessimism - in no particular order. On the back of a disappointing defeat away at Millwall, we discuss Monday nights big game at home to Middlesbrough as well as next weekends trip to Charlton. In the...
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Carlos Vicente: Ankle Breaker
The Blue Machine is back to a full compliment of optimism, realism and pessimism as Rob returns from his trip to Sri-Lanky. We thrash out plenty in this weeks 90 minute effort including: Canaries Conquered Does Priske Keep Stanno Out Of The Team? The Blue Machine Results Service Will Barrington...
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We Love You Wagners
We are back for the latest edition of The Blue Machine podcast, and this week we are without our resident pessimist who is away with work in Sri Lanka. However we have more than suitable cover in the form of Barrington Decor (he does have a real name too), who helps bring a more positive spin…
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Richard Osman's Zulu Army
We are back and this week it's on the back of another home win, this time coming in the rare form of a victory over Leicester. We discuss this in depth, as well as: Osman Impact Is Ducksch our Best Footballer? Jhon Solis: The Real Deal Chinese Takeaway Controversy The Female Genitalia Trick We…
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A Town Called Solis
Join the Blue Machine Pod this week for a fun, football‑filled catch‑up where we swap personal stories from the week, and dive into Blues latest win on the road. As always, you can expect a lively blend of humour, mild tactical insight, and honest reflections as we pick apart the last weeks…
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Marvin The Alpaca
The Blue Machine are back with this weeks episode, and it's another enraging 2 hour debate full of: Make or Break Time? More Incomings Pending? Oxford: A Comprehensive Visitors Guide Pre-Planned Substitutions Shower Ablutions Huge thanks to Barrington Decor for renewing their sponsorship of the...
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Jhon The Octopus
The Blue Machine are back and it's an in depth episode covering every last detail of the past weeks action, transfer rumours and plenty of other nonsense including: The Octopus Arrives A Point Earned at The Swans 6 Point Week Ahead? Bumper Listener Questions Our Wonderful Sponsor Returns We hope...
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The Kyogoal Chronicles
The Blue Machine are back, podding when we're winning - straight off the back of another 3-2 triumph, this time at the hands of League 2 Cambridge United. This week's discussion topics include: Kyogoal - FINALLY <3 Back to Back Wins Recruitment Part 1000 A Plethora of Listener Questions Another...
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Happy New Year Ya Gimps
It's a return to pod action for The Blue Machine, as we welcome in 2026 with a jam packed episode full of: Festive Results Frustration Transfer Window Opportunities Coventry Get Battered, Everywhere They Go Rob's Firework Impression Prediction League Update As always, it was great to be back in…
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2025 Wrapped: We're Pony Away (In-Person)
For our last pod of 2025, The Blue Machine are fresh from our Christmas get together to thrash out plenty including: Another Away Day Defeat Squad Review Upcoming Games An AI January Transfer Report A huge thank you to all of our listeners this past year, it's been a pleasure uploading our Blues...
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Emergency Away Form Crisis Pod
After a slight break due to holiday (and a dire midweek fixture away at QPR), we are back with a new bumper Blue Machine pod where we go into depth on: The Away Form - It Can't Go On Like This, Can It? Recruitment Shortcomings Will We Strengthen in January? The Best Fast Food Items Tom's…
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A Tale of 5G Aerials & Hamsters Sexuality
Another jam packed Blue Machine podcast where we cover all bases, including: A Point in Albions Cup Final Slipping Up Against Watford? Squad Depth Issues Swimming Pool Ejaculate As always we bring you the cutting edge takes on Blues and nonsense provided by our sponsor Barrington Decor, who we...
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Quack Quack Quack
The Blue Machine are back after the international break with plenty to go through, in what has been an instrumental week in the future of our club: Another 4 Goal Haul at Home Chimney's Coming Out Your Ears The Duck & Pensfield Sit or Stand? Plenty of laughs to get you through this weeks pod, and...
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Beau Brummie & The Poison Alien Jizz
The Blue Machine are back for an international break pod, discussing the last couple of games - proving that we don't only pod when we are winning: Millwall High to Boro Low All Time Best XI? The Start of Good Things to Come? Players as Indian Dishes Plenty of laughs littered throughout this…
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It's A Long Long Road....
We are back with all 3 of us in attendance, as we bring you the breakdown on: Hull - What Went Wrong? What to do in Preston When Does a Pot Become a Pan? The Effects of Pineapple Juice.... As always, it's great to be a full compliment of optimism, realism & pessimism and we hope you enjoy...
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Ping Pong Balls, Buglers & AMEX Platinum
The Blue Machine are back this week with Tom & Rob home from their travels, and it's a top episode as we discuss: Bristol Blues to Pompey Pandemonium Is Ducksch the One? Momentum for Millwall Rob's AMEX Platinum A Question on Ping Pong Balls... A really fun episode filled with positivity and…
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Derby Days, Pirates & The OSC
With the International Break coming to a welcomed back end, we are joined in the studio by Vice Chair of the BCFC OSC, Paul Delves. Enjoy the listen as we talk: Best Away Days Favourite Blues Moments Pirates & Champagne Truffles The Blue Machine On The Rise It was great fun having Paul along for...
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David Stockdale's Walkers Multipack
At the start of another International break, we are back in the studio covering off: Sheff Wed / Wrexham Reviews Will Kyogo Come Good? Open House Invites Top Crisp Selections This one was another fun one to record, with plenty of laughs and insightful Blues chat. Thanks to our pod sponsor...
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Will We Ever Win (Away) Again?
The lads are back with a shorter than usual episode this week, with Tom pulling a part time shift and Rob having no camera (tinpot we know), but we cover: A lacklustre Coventry defeat The balance of the squad How do we put things right? The fanbase With another international break on the horizon,...
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Everyone Loves To Be Milked
The Blue Machine is back in the normal swing of things, as we bring you this weeks episode where we discuss: 3 well earned points against the Swans Tom's player by player review What to do in Coventry (aside from not visiting) TV shows that are definitely NSFW We hope you enjoy this one, as it…
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Missing: Big Hairy Arsed 6ft Something Striker
The Blue Machine are back with an interim pod, ahead of returning to the normal start of the week scheduling. After a mix of the International Break plus conflicting schedules, the boys discuss: Stoke loss - what went wrong? Does the squad have enough firepower? Where do we go from here? Will we...
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Corn Exchange Table 235
The full compliment of Blue Machine members are back, fresh from the Corn Exchange in Leicester after Friday nights defeat. We thrash out: What Went Wrong at Leicester? Transfer Talk Fans Overreacting? Should Tom Book That Turkey Treatment? We hope you enjoy this one as much as we enjoyed being...
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The Limbdon Dykes Appreciation Society
The Blue Machine are back in action, minus The Realist who is on international duty in Lanzarote. However we have a much more glamorous co-presenter filling in coming in the form of the frequently mentioned Vinicius Jadeior, and we discuss: Sheff Utd & Blackburn Dubs Limbdon Dykes Big…
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Bill Clinton's Centre Circle Saxophone
The Blue Machine are back with a full compliment of members, as The Pessimist returns from his holidays to bring his trademark negativity to the chat. A jam packed episode where we discuss: Ipswich Town Review The Americanization of Blues Where Do We Strengthen? Drinking From Bath Taps This was a...
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Don't Forget To Put Your Bins Out, You Gimps
The Blue Machine is back! The season is upon us and we are here to preview it - albeit Rob-less with him sunning it up in Fuerteventura. However we have our sponsor Jon aka Barrington Decor on board to discuss: Pre-Season Review Where Should We Strengthen? Ipswich Preview Extended Questiontime We...
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The Blue Machine - The Gimps Are Back
After 2 months out of the studio, we are back with a pre-season round up so far - catching up on all of the Blues content that's come to light since we were last in your ears: The Sports Quarter Transport Approval Beautiful Merch & Kit A Plethora of Quality Signings The Season Ahead We hope you...
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Enjoy Your Summer, You Gimps
For the final time this season, The Blue Machine brings you an extra long episode to take you into the summer break, and we cover: A very brief review of Blackpool & Cambridge Alfie May's new liver requirements The inaugural Blue Machine end of season awards Extended listener questions It's been…
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Alexa, What is a Banana Skin?
It's the penultimate episode of the season and we are in the studio covering off: League 1 Champions Celebrations An Emotional Send-Off for Jukey Are Allotments Cool? What to do on a Sunny Day in Blackpool As always a really fun one to record, and we hope you enjoy listening! Thanks to our...
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The Exorcism of Lloyd Dyer
It's a marathon not a sprint....that can certainly be said for the latest edition of The Blue Machine as we cover off: Crawley & Burton Reviews Closing in on Points Records Is Bird Poo Really Lucky? The Mount Rushmore of Blues CBs League 1 Team of the Season - Whose in From Blues? We really do…
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The Sweatiest Man in Football
After a weekend out supporting The Blue Machine at Wembley, the lads are back picking apart: Defeat at Wembley - Disappointing Not Defining A Big Easter Weekend Ahead Burton: Marmite, Breweries & Wing Wahs Is Jay Stansfield Overrated? (The Answer is No) A sombre first half of the pod, but a much...
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Lukas Isaac Paul Jutkiewicz: JUKKKEEE
We are back with an extended episode full of Blues discussion and banter, including: The Birthday Boys Weekends 6 More Points in the Bag - Promotion Pending Lukas Jutkiewicz Appreciation Wembley Bound Blues How Much to eat a Big Toe Nail? We know you're going to enjoy this one, and we can't wait…
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The 'Birmingham Aren't All That' Appreciation Pod
The Pessimist is back! Back to our full quota of Blue Machine residents, we are back with a pod full of laughs, insight and plenty of discussion on: An emphatic win against Shrewsbury Athletic Tom's X shenanigans A lovely day out to be had in Bristol What hurts more - childbirth or a kick in the...
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The Upside Down Mars Bar Mystery
We are back for a listener question special, with the international break coming to a welcome end - and normal pods returning next week. Our resident Pessimist Rob is away in South Africa, so we are again blessed with the dulcet tones of the Cotswolds finest decorating company's head honcho Mr....
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Fulfilling Sponsorship Obligations
The lads (minus Rob who's on stag duties) are back, with our sponsor Jon from Barrington Decor filling the pessimist's seat, and there's plenty of debate on: Big Willy - What's going wrong? Was Northampton just a blip? Can Ants detect rain? Is a sit down wee a treat? Another fun episode to…
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Bouncebackability
After having 2 men down last week, The Blue Machine have showed more Bouncebackability than Chris Davies after a defeat. This week we bring you: Wycombe, Bolton & Lincoln Reviews Why Haven't Snakes Evolved Arms? There's Not A Lot To Do In Northampton Tom's Best South African Impression Will We…
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Reading's 'Only Team Birmingham Have Failed To Beat' Celebration Pod
What a week for the Blues! We go in depth on THAT Vertu Trophy Semi-Final win, plus: The Select Car Leasing Stadium Farmers Field Orient & Wycombe Previews Tom's Parking Disaster Pessimist V Dykes V Klarer: World Title Fight As always another episode packed full of laughs, Blues insights and...
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A Little Welsh Goblin Part 2: This Time It's Personal
We are back with a bumper episode (conveniently timed at circa the length of a drive to Reading FC), where we cover: Another 6 Point Week THAT Refereeing Performance The Nathan Jones Chronicles Vertu Semi Final: Special St. Andrews Night Pending Koala's & Their Pesky Chlamydia An unbelievably fun...
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Toastiness Level 4
Another great session in the studio recording the latest edition of the pod, where we cover off: A Mixed Bag of Cup Results Is Cambridge a Banana Skin? Return of the Little Welsh Goblin What's the Optimum Toastiness Level? We can't wait for you to listen to the pod, and as always all comments and...
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Birmingham City: Expectant, Not Entitled
The lads are back at full strength for this weeks pod - with Rob making a full recovery, Tom back from business in Dubai, and Taz finally home from Huddersfield: Keshi Anderson's Goal of the Season Contender Which is the priority? Stevenage or Newcastle? Who survives in the Amazon the longest?…
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Victor Mooredrew's Pony Immune System
This weeks episode is here, and The Blue Machine are a man down with Rob suffering from a sickness bug. However Taz & Tom are here to discuss: Disney Dragons - A point gained or 2 points lost? Dog Botherers (A) What's the biggest Blues socials cesspit? How often should you change your bed sheets?...
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A Team of Angry Old Men
We are back with the latest instalment of The Blue Machine, with the lads discussing: Swindon & Exeter W's Small Town in North Wales (A) How Much Should A Haircut Cost? Spaghetti Pants Another great episode to record, and we hope you enjoy listening just as much. Also, a massive thank you to all…
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Rhino Combat at Swindon's Magic Roundabout
We are back in the studio after our FA Cup 3rd Round victory against the Lincoln Wanderers, with plenty to discuss including: Lyndon Dykes Wonder Goal The prospect of Newcastle in the 4th Round January Transfer Wishes Swindon's Magic Roundabout Plenty of Rhino Related Chat Great fun as to record…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The Blue Machine:The Optimist - Aaron CartwrightThe Realist - Tom HattonThe Pessimist - Rob MooreThree unique viewpoints on everything related to Birmingham City, brought together to form a plethora of debate, disagreements and ridiculous moments.
HOSTED BY
Aaron Cartwright, Thomas Hatton, Robert Moore
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Blue Machine have?
The Blue Machine currently has 68 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Blue Machine about?
The Blue Machine:The Optimist - Aaron CartwrightThe Realist - Tom HattonThe Pessimist - Rob MooreThree unique viewpoints on everything related to Birmingham City, brought together to form a plethora of debate, disagreements and ridiculous moments.
How often does The Blue Machine release new episodes?
The Blue Machine has 68 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Blue Machine?
You can listen to The Blue Machine on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Blue Machine?
The Blue Machine is created and hosted by Aaron Cartwright, Thomas Hatton, Robert Moore.
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