The Business Oddcast

Episode 34: The ‘No’ toolkit- Boundaries for ND brains  For something that's only two letters long, "no" can create a truly astonishing amount of panic. One boundary becomes a guilt spiral, three imagined arguments, and a sudden urge to explain your entire life story to justify why you can't help someone move house on a Tuesday afternoon. In this episode, we unpack why saying no can feel so disproportionately difficult for neurodivergent people. From people-pleasing and rejection sensitivity to masking, perfectionism, and the fear of disappointing others, we explore why so many of us end up saying yes long after we've run out of time, energy, and capacity. We talk about overcommitting, resentment, energy management, and the hidden cost of constantly putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own. We also share practical strategies for creating boundaries that actually stick, including scripts, pause techniques, recognising when resentment is trying to tell you something important, and learning how to say no without writing a 14-page witness statement in your defence. Because boundaries aren't about being difficult. They're about making sure there's still enough of you left for the things that matter. If you've ever agreed to something and immediately regretted it... this one's for you. Please share with anyone you think this topic might resonate with. Send any questions or suggestions to or contact us here: [email protected] Don't forget to like and subscribe or follow along on the socials, see below timeline for details. Together we can build a healthier, happier way to work! ------------------------------------- TIMELINE 00:00:00 - Welcome & Introduction 00:00:46 - Topic of the Week - The No Toolkit - Boundaries for ND Brains 00:01:21 - Topic introduction - No, boundaries and protection   00:03:28 - Why the concept of "no" feels so big & risky    00:05:19 - How burnout affects priorities, no as a survival tactic 00:06:32 - The cost of "no" and creating room for rest and recovery 00:09:10 - What a disproportionate reaction to new boundaries means 00:10:51 - The cost of over-accommodation of others 00:12:43 - The bigger the excuse you give the more they have to work with 00:13:23 - The soft "no" - the calendar check-in before response 00:15:26 - Why saying "yes" is a dopamine trap... 00:17:05 - TANGENT 01 - Stu muses on ND's naive quality that gets taken advantage of 00:18:20 - Boundaries aren't control - it's about protecting our energy 00:19:00 - TANGENT 02 - Hannah shares a real-world example of not saying no 00:20:03 - Do you respect and believe your own "No"?  00:20:50 - Resenting not saying NO!  00:22:13 - Approaches to saying "no"  00:26:40 - Dealing with repeat offenders 00:27:43 - Saying no to yourself is often the hardest boundary to impose 00:31:33 - Energy management lesson learned from running 00:32:02 - Rest Guilt and struggling to switch off and resting being "lazy" 00:35:28 - Why are you full of resentment when you say yes? 00:37:01 - Red flagging unwarranted and disproportionate push back Pt2. 00:37:50 - When "no" can be detrimental, conserve your energy strategically 00:40:22 - You don't owe them your life story to put a boundary in place 00:43:17 - Stuart's business confession about his diary 00:45:07 - The double empathy trap keeping you time-starved and energy poor 00:46:03 - Stu's energy issues with short-notice change 00:47:40 - Is it you or your mask saying "yes"? 00:50:08 - HELL YEAH! or F&CK NO! 00:50:30 - Hannah takeaways and insights 00:54:45 - Stu's top tips and thoughts 00:57:58 - Thank you and goodbye 00:59:47 - LENGTH   ------------------------------------- RESOURCES HTML RESOURCES https://here2help.uk/further-information/ - Fab resource and amazing organisation raising awareness and support for autistic suicide prevention.  https://bigmoosecharity.co - Emergency mental health support, Big Moose provides fast and effective therapy for people who are struggling. https://businessoddcast.com/help - our range of resources for Neurodiverse business owners, helping you thrive, survive and live more fulfilling lives. ------------------------------------- OUR WEBSITE & CONTACT Resources: https://businessoddcast.com/help Contact us: [email protected]  OUR SOCIALS youtube.com/BusinessOddcast facebook.com/BusinessOddcast instagram.com/BusinessOddcast  

DESCRIPTION - FULL Please share with anyone you think this topic might resonate with. Send any questions or suggestions to or contact us here: [email protected] Don't forget to like and subscribe or follow along on the socials, see below timeline for details. Together we can build a healthier, happier way to work! ------------------------------------- TIMELINE 00:00:00 - Welcome & Introduction 00:00:31 - Topic of the Week - Success Feels Weird When You’re Used to Struggling 00:00:46 - Topic introduction - Exploring challange of success, and feral badgers    00:02:24 - Disclaimer - plan for the best, expect the worse, what happens when plans work ? 00:03:37 - We explore why 'survival mode' feels familiar - the safety of chaos. 00:04:28 - Stuart's brain needs to define "success" - and a note about today's topic 00:06:24 - Hannah's "goals" define her anti-hustle culture "success"  00:08:28 - Example of survival mode being familiar and comfortable 00:10:48 - Overfunctioning becoming our identity & why we feel worthwhile  00:12:28 - Unreasonable self-expectations and over-delivery excuses your Oddness 00:15:59 - Your worth should not be based on your "success" and your wins 00:18:21 - Shouting about your wins can feel un-authentic, and irrelevant because, NEXT! 00:20:45 - Protestant work ethic, work harder, do more, no rest, ever onward! 00:21:55 - The discomfort of receiving - Link to Birthdays EPISODE 00:23:43 - Awkwardly receiving praise, FLIPPIN G THE SCRIPT... 00:24:42 - The struggle to ask for, or accept ANY help.  00:26:52 - Summary of this section ... 00:27:19 - Success level up - new unexpected fears unlocked! 00:30:17 - When is enough enough? WHen do you stop trying to achieve MORE!   00:30:55 - IMPOSTER'S SYNDROME ENTERS THE CHAT - staying grounded helps 00:33:00 - When our business becomes more visible, it raises the emotional stakes  00:35:15 - RSD raises the emotional stakes whe you "go public" with your thoughts 00:37:23 - ND is woven into your energy - is your "success" sustainable long term? 00:41:30 - Are you constantly "almost there"? Is your perfectionism running the show? 00:42:48 - How to overcome perfectionism, Stu's tolerance tool! 00:44:37 - The tyranny of perfectionism and the addic tion of productivity 00:48:07 - Learning to tolerate the calm 00:52:20 - Hannah takeaways and insights - your worth is more than you productivty 00:55:28 - Stu's top tips and thoughts - celebrate wins and use buffer day  s FTW! 00:57:53   - Thank you and goodbye 00:58:50 - LENGTH ------------------------------------- RESOURCES Link to Podcast about surviving celebrations Link to blog post on undervaluing your services Link to the Neuro-inclusive Oddcast Manifesto https://shineradio.uk - Local Radio Petersfield, Bordon & Whitehill and beyond! https://bigmoosecharity.co - Emergency mental health support, Big Moose provides fast and effective therapy for people who are struggling. https://businessoddcast.com/help - our range of resources for Neurodiverse business owners, helping you thrive, survive and live more fulfilling lives. ------------------------------------- OUR WEBSITE & CONTACT Resources: https://businessoddcast.com/help Contact us: [email protected]  OUR SOCIALS youtube.com/BusinessOddcast facebook.com/BusinessOddcast instagram.com/BusinessOddcast  

Episode 32: Pricing When You Don’t Trust Your Sense of Value Eps 32 - Pricing When You Don’t Trust Your Sense of Value Pricing should be simple, shouldn’t it? Work out the time, add the costs, decide the margin, send the quote, float away looking financially competent. Lovely. Except for many neurodivergent business owners, pricing is rarely just maths. It gets tangled up with self-worth, rejection sensitivity, time blindness, imposter syndrome, financial instability, and the quiet horror of someone saying, “Is that your best price?” In this episode, we unpack why pricing can feel so emotionally loaded when your internal sense of value is a bit… wobbly. We talk about undercharging, overexplaining, defensive pricing, “just jobs”, comparison spirals, and why your price is not a referendum on your worth as a human being. We also get into the very real cost of giving away time you didn’t mean to give away, especially when every “quick favour” comes with admin, context switching, recovery time, and a small existential wobble. This is about building pricing that is grounded in reality, not panic. Tracking your time, reviewing your rates, adding buffers, practising pricing conversations, and learning to sit in the silence after you’ve said the number. Because you are not charging for approval. You are charging for skill, experience, capacity, and the life force required to do the work properly. Please share with anyone you think this topic might resonate with. Send any questions or suggestions to or contact us here: [email protected] Don't forget to like and subscribe or follow along on the socials, see below timeline for details. Together we can build a healthier, happier way to work! ------------------------------------- TIMELINE 00:00:00 - Welcome & Introduction 00:00:31 - Introducing May's Theme - Money, Worth and Neurodivergent Business Confidence  00:00:55 - Topic of the Week - Pricing When You Don’t Trust Your Sense of Value 00:01:11 - Topic introduction - Pricing is more than just maths, there's self worth, rejection 00:02:40 - Pricing Is Emotional, Not Logical - Pricing is a  popularity contest 00:04:54 - Stu's views on small business pricing, service offering and market place fit 00:07:05 - Under-appreciating your own value, experience, age and soft skills matter 00:09:45 - Time-blindness and value distortion, with hyperfocus and giving away hours 00:11:41 - The value distortion of "Just Jobs" and making sure your time is valued 00:13:45 - Monotropism and hyperfocus impact on time efficiency  00:14:33 - Comparison spiral and how it distorts and reduces your sense of value  00:15:40 - The perception distortion lens, a story about being a lookalike and a lesson in pricing  00:19:50 - BUT... what happens when IMPOSTER'S SYNDROME rides in... How do beat I.S? 00:21:30 - With... the "Hair Treatment"...  00:23:00 - Shout out to Charlie Ruttle! and the antidote to Imposter's Syndrome 00:24:39 - Capacity, anxiety and defensive pricing 00:27:01 - One price doesn't fit all and capacity is variable 00:29:00 - RSD, pricing, billing, fiscal fear and over-justifying your pricing 00:32:00 - The answer... that Stu uses... FIRST THE DISCLAIMER 00:36:40 - Self confidence is required at some point as is a purpose 00:38:15 - The grateful to be paid pattern, employment, debt and financial attitudes 00:40:50 - The power of the silence after you state your price... 00:45:45 - Ideas for designing pricing with nervous system safety in mind   00:46:10 - Hannah's takeaways 00:49:30 - Stu's top tips 00:56:45 - Final words - like, share and subscribe.  00:57:55 - Next Week's content 00:59:47 - LENGTH ------------------------------------- OUR WEBSITE & CONTACT Resources: https://businessoddcast.com/help Contact us: [email protected]  OUR SOCIALS youtube.com/BusinessOddcast facebook.com/BusinessOddcast instagram.com/BusinessOddcast