The Convenient Counselor

Whimsy isn't an aesthetic — it's a practice. And if you've ever thought "I'm just not that kind of person," this episode is for you. We're talking about why choosing delight is harder than it sounds, what the research actually says about play and resilience, and three small ways to start. You don't have to earn the right to enjoy your life!Free printable - "25 Ways to Add Whimsy"brianaleach.com/podcast

YES THIS IS THE CORRECT PODCAST! Don't be confused - this podcast was first named "Grace in Progress," so that's what you will hear in this throwback episode!! I am traveling this week, so I thought I would share the MOST downloaded episode of all time...about a term I call "spiritual dismissal." This resonated with listeners over 100 episodes ago, and I thought it might still resonate this week! Here is the original episode description:"Let Go and Let God"..."Too Blessed to be Stressed"...wait, what? When you share your emotions/thoughts with someone and you are met with avoidance by means of a Christian cliche or misused scripture, you may have experienced "Spiritual Dismissal," which is what this episode is all about. Listen to some real-life examples, the negative effects of invalidated emotions, and how to view these responses a little differently.

You've told the story. Multiple times, to multiple people. And yet...you still feel the same. Sound familiar?In this episode, Briana explores why you might be stuck in an emotional loop, and explains the difference between venting and processing. Short, practical, and yes - slightly calling you out. (In the best way, of course!)

Ever feel sad and have absolutely no idea what you actually want? Same. That's exactly why this episode exists.Today we're building a dopamine menu — a personalized, pre-made list of activities designed to give your brain a healthy boost when you're running low. Think of it like a restaurant menu for your nervous system, ready to go before the hard days hit.We're talking about the science behind dopamine (it's different than serotonin and endorphins), why sadness makes it so hard to figure out what you need, and how to build a menu that actually works for YOU — not just what sounds good in theory.By the end of this episode, you'll have a simple framework and a homework assignment that takes less than 10 minutes. Your future self will thank you!📋 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS– What a dopamine menu is (and what it isn't)– The four menu categories: Appetizers, Entrées, Desserts & Specials– How to personalize your menu based on what actually restores you– Common mistakes to avoid– Your listener homework

Most of us were never taught what a healthy relationship actually looks like — we just learned from the ones we were in. In this episode, Briana breaks down the top 5 indicators of an emotionally healthy relationship, as well as what research and scripture have to say about the matter! Whether you're evaluating a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even a family dynamic — this one's for you.Resources + Links:Learn more about Briana at brianaleach.com/aboutInterested in working with Briana? Find her services at brianaleach.com/servicesFollow on Instagram and Facebook: @brianaleachlpc

Cute group pic! Only missing one person...ME. Ugh. Feeling left out of something is an awful feeling. But staying left out? That's a choice. Listen in to hear how Briana describes the difference, and offers three questions to ask yourself in those moments of feeling excluded. Spoiler: you have more power than you realize!

You know you need to change (big or small), yet we resist it...why? In this episode, learn three of the main reasons we tend to "hit the brakes" when we know something needs to change.

How well do you know yourself? Self-awareness is essential to reaching your full potential, and in this episode you will learn:- the two types of self-awareness- self-awareness research from social psychology- 3 practices to increase your self-awarenessThink we can say that word any more? Go ahead and listen, then get to practicing!

It's been a minute...or maybe three years! ;) In this "return to the podcast" episode, Briana explains why now was time to re-engage with new episodes, as well as the important lessons learned during an extended hiatus. Also learn how the "power of the pause" might apply to your life as well, and upcoming episode topics are previewed as well!

Why does mental health matter? Why start a podcast about it? Learn more about the answers to these questions as well as an update on the podcast moving forward.

Have you ever imagined your life as an object? Visualization is really important in therapy, because it allows us to tap into a side of our brain that can process emotions and situations differently than just with logic. Learn more about this tool and about what your boat might look like in this episode!

Need a pep talk today? This quick episode is one you can file away for those days where you just need someone to cheer you on for a second, help you be thankful, and feel your feelings. You've got this!

You've named the fear, now what? In this episode, learn the two follow up questions that are needed after naming a fear - they can help you understand where the fear comes from, and steps to potentially take to avoid or cope with it!

What are you afraid of? Typically when we hear this question we might only think of a couple responses - in my case, going to the dentist and alligators. But in everyday situations, there can be "fears" that drive or motivate our behaviors. Learn more about how to name your fears in this episode, and come back next week for what to do once you've named that fear!

It's hard to make new friends. Even harder when you lead a busy life! But in this episode, learn 5 tips for pursuing new friendships in a healthy way!

Join in on the 6th round of "Questions for a Counselor" in this episode, which covers the following questions:* Any advice on a child who explodes when he can’t figure out something? Homework, assembling a toy, etc…it’s unpredictable and so hard!* What do I do when I just feel stuck? Like I have no motivation and don’t know what to do next.Previous Episode referenced:"What to do when you feel NUMB." https://www.buzzsprout.com/275153/episodes/3837692

In the stress of daily life, do you have "pockets of peace?" These brief moments can help the dust settle and for you to sometimes literally catch your breath! Learn more about this wellness practice in Episode 118.

"Fortune Telling" is a therapy term used for one of the most common cognitive distortions (unhealthy way of thinking). Learn more about the definition, what qualifies as fortune telling, and ways to combat it if this is something you struggle with regularly!

Are efficiency and effectiveness the same thing? Sometimes we think they are, but unfortunately that's not always the case! In this episode, we dive into these two concepts with real-life examples, so that you can see what will be the best course of action in your life!

We all know that rules are meant to keep us safe, and boundaries can be protective...but what about certain "lines" in your life that you may not know their origin? Did someone "draw" in your life and you've never acknowledged it? In this episode, we explore this common question I ask in therapy, and walk through examples that might apply in your situation.Past episode referenced:Episode 2 - Measuring Stick 

Back from summer break, barely meeting the personal August "deadline" in my mind...better late than never! :)  In this episode, learn about four areas where this common phrase might need some evaluation:- Apologies- Course correcting in parenting- Self-Care- Pursuing a paused dreamMentions in the episode:Episode 10/11: Rethinking Self-CareEpisode 52: Unconventional Self-CareEpisode 61: Creating a Self-Care MenuEpisode 89: Holiday Self-CareEpisode 102: When You Only Have a Few Minutes...Download Briana's free self-care guide: brianaleach.com 

In this episode we revisit the concept of applying the "5,5,5 principle" to your daily life!

When you talk about your own mental health struggles, how do you "label" them? Do you call it "my anxiety" when you talk about dealing with anxiety? Have you mis-labeled other issues as something that's a bit more palatable in your mind? Learn more about how this can be harmful rather than healing in this episode, and what you can do instead!

We often think that since we can hear/process most of our inner thoughts, we are vulnerable with ourselves, right?? Unfortunately that is not always true. In this episode, learn examples of what practicing self-vulnerability might look like, or confirm if you are already practicing this important mental health skill!

Join in on round #5 of listener-submitted questions, and hear Briana's response to the following:"I have a family member that would really benefit from counseling, but I'm not sure how to tell them that without offending them. What should I do?""What can I do to make the most of my time in therapy?""Is it okay if couples don't fight? Doesn't that mean they are doing well?"Previous podcast episode mentioned: Episode 64 - "4 Things to Do Before a Counseling Session" https://www.buzzsprout.com/275153/8419743-episode-64-4-things-to-do-before-a-counseling-session.mp3?download=true *Note for the audio - my computer fan was much louder than expected, which was not noticed until after recording all audio! So if you hear a slight hum in the background, that's what it is!

Where is your "happy place?" Is it a location or view you are able to visit often? Are you aware of moments in your life that could qualify as a happy place, AKA a place you feel at ease and fully yourself? Learn more about these questions and the importance of finding a realistic "happy place" in this short and sweet episode!

"I never thought I would be an angry mom." "Why am I angry ALL the time?" In this episode, we re-visit the concept first shared way back in Episode 6 of this podcast...the acronym GIFT to help explain your anger. This time, we learn how the secondary emotion of anger shows up often in motherhood, and how you can better communicate your emotions/needs in the moment.

What does it mean to be authentic? Is oversharing part of being authentic towards others? These two concepts are often mistaken as synonyms, when in reality they are quite different. Learn more about authenticity vs. oversharing in this episode, and find out how to gauge if you've done this in your own life!

"Ugh, she has such an attitude.""He is SO selfish."When we are in a posture of judgment, it's very hard to be humble. In this short episode, learn a few phrases that can help re-center your heart in moments of judgment towards others.

How many times has a minor miscommunication in your life caused a major conflict? SO much time and energy is wasted by a misinterpreted text, not hearing a directive, or misunderstanding a conversation! In this episode, learn about the three main "categories" of miscommunication that Briana sees in therapy, as well as ways to prevent/remedy these time wasters!

Who is writing your story? Do you know what's hidden in the chapters of your life? In this episode, learn more about one of my favorite approaches to therapy, which is called Narrative Therapy!Website referenced: https://positivepsychology.com/common-therapy-questions/

Do you speak to yourself out loud? When you think something positive about yourself, does it stay inside your brain or do you verbalize it? Learn more about the power of this practice, in continuation from Episode 9 about speaking the nice words to others!

"I just don't have time to take care of my mental health." Have you said this to yourself before? I know I have in the past, until I learned how simple "micro practices" can help boost my mental health on a daily basis. In this episode, learn several ideas that you can implement easily when you only have a few minutes to spare!

"Never swim right after eating" is a well-known rule that we follow for our physical health, but are there some "nevers" that you should apply for your mental health and prevention of issues in relationships? Short answer, YES! In this episode, learn four important pieces of advice to start applying to your reactions and decision making from now on!

It's time to flip the script a little bit...instead of Briana asking the questions, her husband Ben is doing the interview on this special milestone episode!Learn more about:- what the hardest part of producing a podcast has been,- what advice Briana wishes she could have given herself as a new counselor,- how feedback from listeners impacts the show,- what's next for The Convenient Counselor, and much more - including a special intro/finale to the episode!

When stressful moments happen, how do you cope? Is that coping skill healthy or unhealthy? Sometimes negative coping skills are a part of our lives, and we don't realize that they might have been shaped in our childhood or as a result of trauma. Learn more about why you need to apply grace for some of your unhealthy coping skills, and that shame is not the answer!

It's no surprise that most of the world feels overwhelmed right now. What do you do in moments/seasons of overwhelm? In this episode, learn two principles to apply today and start moving foward.

"How are you?" Ummm....I'm good? Based on what measurement? ;)Are you aware of how you measure well-being in your everyday life? How do you know when you're happy/angry/fulfilled/drained? This episode will help you start the internal conversation of how you measure well-being, and if there might be adjustments needed!

Retreats can sound unattainable at times, but they are ESSENTIAL to our well-being and self-care. Why are they important? How can you integrate retreats more often into your life? Learn the answers to these questions and three "P's" to apply to the retreats in your life in this episode!

What do you do in moments where you COMPLETELY disagree with what another person is saying? Do you jump into battle mode or "fix it" mode right away? Learn the power of "tell me more" in this episode, and how you can start applying it to situations/relationships today!

"I can't do this.""Nobody cares.""This is the WORST."Have these thoughts ever entered your mind? How do you respond when these thoughts pop up during situations? These thoughts don't have to be dismissed or have toxic positivity applied to them...there is a different way! In this episode, learn 5 "challenges" to these negative thoughts that you can start applying right away, and hopefully move forward in moments of negativity.

In the 4th installment of "Questions for a Counselor," Briana tackles these two questions:- How do I stop saying yes to everything that is asked of me? I am a recovering people pleaser, but I still struggle!- We are entering a new season with a preteen that is both enjoyable and scary at the same time…I can feel him pulling away, and we used to be so close. How do I stay connected with my son while not smothering him at the same time? Listen to Episode 93 to hear her responses to these excellent questions!

Whether you're single, engaged, or already married - there is something for you in this episode! Have you ever wondered what goes on during Pre-Marital Counseling? Is it really worth the effort? In this episode, Briana lays out what topics are covered in preparation for marriage, and why these topics are important regardless of marital status!

Have you set new goals (or have had goals for a while) and not sure how to accomplish them on a daily basis? Learn about the tool of "habit stacking" in order to easily create new routines and habits that become second nature in this episode!

"New Year, New You" seems to be the common catchphrase for a New Year...but why should you change everything about your life just because the calendar went from Friday to Saturday? :) In this episode, take a moment to re-think what "new" means in your life, and do some micro reflecting in order to see what might need to be new in your life.

You know I can't stay away from the topic of self-care, especially during the holidays! How can you be intentional about taking care of yourself during an extra busy time of year? Learn more about evaluating your past, present, and future "holiday self" in this episode.

Boundaries are essential to protecting your mental health - so how can we respect the boundaries of others and protect their health as well? This episode focuses on three ways to respect the boundaries of those around us, especially during the holidays!Book referenced: https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454

What are the questions I ask most as a therapist? Many people think counselors/therapists only give advice, but in reality the majority of our job is asking questions! The three questions presented in this episode are the most common questions that I ask - and you can start applying them to your situation/daily life today!

Do you often find yourself racing against the clock to get things done, go to the activities you signed up for, and wondering why it all goes so quickly? Or maybe time moves more slowly for you in this season, and you're not sure how to be more intentional about the way you use your time? This episode unpacks the myth that you and Beyonce have the same amount of time each day, and gives practical ways to evaluate how you spend your most valuable resource.Episode 21 - (Time Audit part 1) https://www.buzzsprout.com/275153/episodes/2722471Episode 22 - (Time Audit part 2) https://www.buzzsprout.com/275153/episodes/2784031

It's not a matter of "if," it's a matter of "when" - this is typical for most of us who deal with winter blues, the all-too-common emotional and physical reaction to shorter daylight hours and colder temperatures (in many parts of the world). If it's not totally unavoidable, how can we be preventative in caring for ourselves BEFORE we are struggling? Find out four practical tips in this episode!