The David Eagle Podcast

This week, more innovative games and challenges for you to get involved in. We discuss imperial measurements, I wonder around a park talking about my genitals, there’s a lengthy dissection of the traditional folk song Matty Groves, and I inadvertently sabotage another comedian’s gig with some unintended slapstick. I'll get around to writing a desff

In November we (The Young’uns) hosted an event in Middlesbrough to celebrate our fortieth birthdays and twenty years gigging together. This week’s podcast features a little interview we did with one of our famous fans, Felicity Finch, who plays Ruth in BBC Radio 4’s The Archers. There’s also an appearance from North East folk band The Unthanks, who treat us to a very surprising performance, giving us an exclusive sneak preview of their exciting new album.

This week we meet The Jesus Geezers, a cockney gospel band. Ellie has a weird dream about me and Billy Bragg. I unearth my childhood diaries. And I recount my unusual experience with an A-list celebrity in a cupboard.

Ellie and I return with semi-regular feature spammer time. There’s the clockwork-regular contribution from star pupil Olivia. Tales of door-based debacles and rude awakenings involving guns, explosions, sirens, and a duck. Plus paranormal experiences involving kids and a cat. I narrowly avoid being punched, and I inadvertently cause chaos in a swimming pool and get myself into hot water with some peeved parents. And of course it’s the reveal of our boundary-pushing mystery sound contest.

This week, I have an odd experience at a urinal. I blind a computer programmer. Ellie has a medical mishap. There’s a poem from the perspective of a piece of chewing gum. We take a walk in the park where we chat about my meeting with Jason Donovan, plus there’s more goose news, and we meet an arse-scratching squirrel; you’ll have to listen to discover if the squirrel is scratching its own arse, or the backside of me or Ellie. We’ve been looking after our ten-year-old nephew this weekend and it’s certainly been eventful. We have our first listener complaint and I enlist the services of Frank Skinner to defend my honour. Our street becomes embroiled in a bin-based drama. Plus, in yet another example of paradigm shifting podcasting, there’s a mystery sound competition. And more chat about Vegetables, Biscuits, Birds And Le Creuset.Chapters:(00:00:00) Coming Up, Plus Some Toilet Humour(00:01:58) The Bastard Thing’s Crashed!(00:20:48) William The Conqueror And The NHS Phone Service(00:30:51) From Booing To Chewing(00:34:57) Featuring Jason Donovan, Some Goose News, And An Arse-scratching Squirrel(00:50:07) Listener Complaint(01:04:52) Weird Woman At Gig(01:09:01) Mystery Sound Competition And Some Street Drama(01:23:18) More Chat About Vegetables, Biscuits, Birds And Le Creuset

Ellie’s fame is on the rise, and she receives a potential new career opportunity. I am surprised to find myself doing a stand up gig in a sex club, which was a very weird experience indeed. This week’s games involve guessing vegetables, identifying birds, and more biscuit-based fun. Ellie has an encounter with another blind man. A trip to the barbers gets unexpectedly political and also sexual. I’ve got some gossip involving Jasper Carrott and Iron Maiden, and there’s another surprise song in the park.Chapters(00:00:00) - The Intro Bit(00:02:37) - Ellie’s Fifteen Seconds Of Fame(00:09:43) - I Find Myself Performing In A Sex Club(00:26:22) - Guess The Vegetable(00:31:06) - Ellie’s Tram Drama(00:33:33) - Brazen Barber Banter(00:54:40) - Jasper Carrott, Iron Maiden, Le Creuset And Sonic The Hedgehog(01:12:42) - Professional Window Doodler

Ellie sees an odd and intriguing tattoo. I experience a footwear farce. I get accidentally insulted by an enthusiastic audience member. Ellie has more shelf news. I attempt to create a dance hit by sampling the radio. My recent stand up gig takes a very unexpected turn. We hear once again from the Nottingham swingers, and one of our regulars, Olivia, is back, and she’s got thoughts and a challenge.Warning: Contains Pelvic Thrusting.Chapters:(00:00:00) – The Bit where I Tell You what’s Coming Up(00:01:42) - Footwear Farce, Tattoo Talk and More Shelf News(00:16:15) - A Silly Song, a Wee Chat and a Walk(00:22:50) - Weaponised Blind Kids(00:26:58) - Home Taping Is Making Music(00:30:47) - I Am Alan! Custodian of the Light!(00:42:38) - Swingers Revisited and Olivia’s Challenge(01:01:01) - Amazing Feet

 A comedy gig is derailed by a soap opera style scandal. My park walk this week takes an unexpected turn, as I come into contact with some errant drama students. I sing a song about a sexually frisky dog, and take you on a dramatic London adventure, involving a flirtatious train traveller and an incident at the National Portrait Gallery. Ellie celebrates International Women’s Day with some feminist-themed book recommendations. There’s another example of a technological regression masquerading as technological progression. I inadvertently insult a divorcee and confuse an audience with a non sequitur about apple crumble. Find out what Ellie’s been doing to cause her thighs to ache, and how I’ve been keeping Ellie’s mother up at night. Plus we revisit our feature Ellie skinner’s ON The Shelf, and play a variety of surprise games.If you'd like to see the video of me being humped by a dog, you can find it here.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnJWxV4gFxQ&t=17s

I get rather lost in a park, where I commentate on a tennis match and have a Whitney Houston-based encounter. We have stand-up clips from Bradford and Doncaster. We’re in London, listening in to conversations between sweary students and argumentative pensioners. There’s a new feature, Ellie Skinner’s On the Shelf, and the return of the catchily named Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression. And yet another guide dog story.CHAPTERS:(00:00:00) - Innuendo, Electrodes, and George Ezra(00:04:48) - In the Park, Talking to My Nipples(00:26:28) - In Bradford With an Antisocial Woman(00:35:22) - In London With Sweary Students and Argumentative Pensioners(00:40:39) - In Doncaster With an Arrogant and Incompetent Comedian(00:58:10) - Ellie Skinner’s On the Shelf(01:03:25) - Technological Regression Masquerading as Technological Progression: I Wanna Take You to the Game Bar(01:09:04) - The Guide Dog and the Plumber

We scientifically validate whether Ellie was happier on her wedding day or on her trip to Ramsay Street in our feature Neighbours or Nuptials. It’s the return of Cassette Roulette, where I make a rather shocking and harrowing find. Ellie teaches me a new activity in the bedroom and tells us about the time she was a stripper. I head to Bath, where I follow Nigel Farage. We go on another crime-solving walk and experience a near miss at the hands of some Hillsborough hoodlums. There’s another guide-dog story, and I get an unexpected house call.CHAPTERS:(00:00:00) - It’s Tosh Time!(00:03:12) - Neighbours or Nuptials(00:14:19) - Bizarre Bottle-Based Behaviour in Bath(00:24:33) - Another Guide-Dog Story While Washing the Dishes(00:30:50) - Ellie Was a Stripper and a Song About a Chicken(00:37:00) - Please Forgive Me Daddy, I’ve Been a Bad Boy (00:54:42) - Cassette Roulette and Tangents About UK Garage, Dentists, and Bread Makers(01:16:20) - Spicy Spells and Religious Rounds

We are approached by the daughter of a dictator in Spammer Time. Join me in the bath for an explosive experience, and I conduct an experiment involving cold water and Vera Lynn. I’ve been back on the dark web to unearth some lost musical treasures, and this time it’s an unheard gem from Guns N. Roses. We go for a walk to try and thwart a murder. There’s a couple of stories about guide dogs, and we read a few of your comments and listen to some rather weird phone messages.CHAPTERS:(00:00:00) - It Started With a Blow(00:04:52) - Spammer Time: The Dictator’s Daughter(00:10:15) - In the Bath With Guns N. Roses and Vera Lynn(00:26:47) - Guide Dog Stories(00:31:08) - Guns N. Roses: Welcome to the Bathtub(00:36:33) - Shakespeare in the Kitchen(00:47:34) - The Walking Detective(01:01:06) - Tonsils, Teeth, and Tossing

My gig in Somerset takes an unexpected turn when a heckling pensioner becomes rather flirtatious. Ellie has a run-in with a call centre scammer and is assaulted by a roast dinner on the streets of Sheffield. New exciting features include the catchily named Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression, and What’s That Biscuit. Plus, more 100% accurate celebrity impressions from Ellie.CHAPTERS:(00:00:00) - Food Farce, Flatulence, and Flirting(00:16:38) - The Reek of Geek(00:35:38) - Scammer Time(00:39:10) - Technological Regression Masquerading as Technological Progression(00:44:40) - Happy Hardcore Dishwashing(00:49:52) - David Eagle: The Cartoon(00:52:50) - Mogrosides and Matrimonial Musings

From the podcast that brought you the exclusive first plays from Gina G and Lou Bega, this week we hear an unreleased song from Little Richard as he pays homage to his hero, Spike Milligan.We feature clips from The Young'uns live at Middlesbrough Town Hall and Winchester Cathedral. Join me for some meditation with a twist, play along with Ellie's Fame Game, and, to prove that we do listen to your feedback, we finally bring you into our bed.Chapter Markers(00:00:00) Jan 29 - Join Us In Bed(00:11:58) Jan 30 - Meditation With A Humorous Twist(00:15:09) Jan 31 - Enter The Mind Of Tutti Frutti Sue(00:19:41) Feb 1 - Out Of The Bath And Into The Cathedral(00:33:01) Feb 2 - Little Richard And Spike Milligan On The Dark Web(00:35:55) Feb 3 - Strange Post-Gig Encounters(00:40:47) Feb 4 - Ellie's Fame Game

 This week’s podcast features confusing conversations with computers. Henry II and Simon Cowell have a difference of opinion regarding the musical merits of farting. My idiosyncratic performance of Flight Of the Bumblebee gets a cold reception. And Ellie goes to Laos, where she meets with Dominic Monaghan who’s recovering from an altercation with a lizard, and becomes embroiled in a gambling scam.Chapters(00:00:00) Jan 22 - Two-take Wonder(00:06:36) Jan 23 - King Henry II, Simon Cowell, And Farting(00:19:46) Jan 24 - Exorcist Runner(00:34:30) Jan 25 - Gaslit By A Computer(00:52:40) Jan 26 - Bottle Banter(00:59:04) Jan 27 - Kitchen Sink Drama(01:07:52) Jan 28 - Ellie Becomes Embroiled In A Gambling Scam In Laos

 This week we share anecdotes about Louis van Gaal, Miles Jupp, Elis James, John Robins, Fern Brady and George Ezra. We join Bob Dylan in a youth hostel, and we receive an email from Lou Bega, with his brand new song. Plus Ellie tries to contact Joe Cocker, but to no avail, because he’s been dead for twelve years.Chapters(00:00:00) Jan 15 - ON A Plane With Louis van Gaal(00:13:17) Jan 16 - Fern Brady Didn’t Look At My Crotch(00:21:52) Jan 17 - IN A Youth Hostel With Bob Dylan(00:28:40) Jan 18 - An Email From Lou Bega(00:33:52) Jan 19 - I’ve Got a Hole IN My Hooter(00:41:28) Jan 20 - What’s The Time Mr Eagle?(00:48:14) Jan 21 - Ellie Tries To Contact Joe Cocker

 You rejoin us in the middle of our holiday in Marrakesh, where we become dramatically stranded in a ford, meet a funky imam, and pit three Moroccan teas against each other in our first non-European Herbal Tea Of The Week.Plus, I perform for a group of swingers, get attacked by two birds, and have another interesting backside-related experience—those three things aren’t related. We also enter the world of Angela, from the song Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega.Chapters:(00:00:00) Jan 8 - Ford Farce(00:16:38) Jan 9 - Funky Imam(00:28:00) Jan 10 - Herbal Tea Of The Week From Marrakesh(00:41:40) Jan 11 - Enter The Mind Of Angela(00:48:18) Jan 12 - Paradise Studios(00:52:47) Jan 13 - In Which I Perform For A Group Of Swingers(01:00:16) Jan 13 - Shit The Bed

We’re back. The plan is to record something every day and then release weekly.This week: Join me in the bath with a pair of geese, a call to my bank takes a sordid and confusing turn, and Ellie and I have some weird massage experiences. Plus, we go abroad, but I don’t know where we’re going.Find out where we land and what we do in the first in a new weekly series of The David Eagle Podcast. It’s better than a bald head.Chapters:(00:00:00) Jan 1 - Better Than a Bald Head(00:06:50) Jan 2 - In The Bath With Two Geese(00:17:27) Jan 3 - The Backside Massage(00:26:41) Jan 4 - Wash It, Dry It, Smash It(00:33:29) Jan 5 - The Eagle Has Landed. But where?(00:43:21) Jan 6 - Human Baklava(00:54:22) Jan 7 - Henna Hassle

 The David Eagle Podcast returns with a bumper bunker-based Herbal Tea Of The Week, as we visit a tea house in Slovakia, situated in a bomb shelter. Six teas from six different countries go to war, but which one will be triumphant. Plus we talk about various recent stand up comedy gigs, including playing to a room of screaming, crying babies, performing for the military, and a surprisingly harrowing experience in Coleshill, Birmingham. And we conclude matters with a lovely little Slovakian soundscape. Enjoy, and we promise to be back a lot sooner than twenty-seven months.

Last weekend The Young'uns did a very mini Christmas tour and here is a compilation of clips from those gigs, in a podcast hilariously titled Merry Gigsmas.

We weren't planning on playing clips from our wedding on the podcast, primarily because we thought it would be boring for you: "I do" "I Will" "to have and to hold" etc etc. But then the wedding turned out to be a bit more exciting than anticipated. Listen to find out why.

We head back thirty years to my eighth birthday in Cassette Roulette; we learn about a mad Victorian scientist's experiments with monkey testicles in Ellie Skinner's Weekly Animal Penis fact; and we visit Biscuit And brew Tea House in Nottingham for Herbal Tea Of The week. Plus I reveal the Fine Young Cannibals' dirty little secret, we hear of a highly unusual fetish and I collaborate with two twelve-year-old girls to create a death metal song.

We're joined by our good friend, the velvet voiced author andraconteur Matthew Crampton. He hosts our first animal penis fact quiz,live from Folk East Festival in Suffolk. He also accompanies us on ourLondon tea based adventure for a multifaceted Herbal Tea Of The Week.Plus there's a very weird Spammer time courtesy of eliza carthy and yet anotherharrowing journey story.

This week's The David Eagle Podcast is all over the place, in both senses of the phrase. I return from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival having met some interesting characters including a chatty undertaker and a teenager in the woods with a rather confusing proposition. I have a near-death experience in Loughborough, cause chaos in a swimming pool in Sheffield, and Herbal Tea Of The week comes live from Tea Sutra Teahouse in Newcastle. IN Cassette Roulette we meet Mr Pie, and Ellie learns some harsh home truths in our feature spammer time.  

This week we celebrate the life of one of my musical comedy heroes, Grant Baynham, who passed away on July 29th. Here you can spend forty minutes in his company as he regales us with songs, stories and silliness, plus he even takes part in everyone's favourite feature, Herbal Tea Of The week.

We're back in the studio with the return of regular features. Spammer time, where we meet a rather flirtatious IT teacher; Cassette Roulette provides us with some very weird and intriguing 90s radio clips, and Ellie Skinner's Weekly Animal Penis Fact turns its attention on the fox. Plus, another harrowing journey story, I become a role model for kids and we discover my unusual stage walk-on ritual.

Come with me on a comedy road trip as I travel From Hull down to Brighton, performing comedy to pensioners, students and even a room full of babies. Step this way for jokes, anecdotes, an array of highly unusual heckles, plus a collection of colourful characters including a very keen doorman, an unscrupulous cemetery officer, a B&B owner with a penchant for pranks, and of course Jimmy the pornographic audiobook recording fetish club blues singer of birmingham.

Happy new year. Here's part 2 of our podcast that features some highlights from 2021. Two animal themed quizzes starring folk musician Alex Cumming and comedian Paul Silky White; my dance hit inspired by an angry Australian bloke shouting about his penis; the story of my first foray into stand up comedy at the age of five; and a very weird radio show from my fourteen-year-old self.   Feel free to chuck some pennies into our podcast PayPal pot at davideagle.co.uk  

A selection of podcast highlights from 2021. Spot popping, Princess Margaret erotica, Phil Nichol plays an adult quiz "courtesy" of our anti-social neighbours; there's an epic, surreal military-based drama, weird Christian music, and more. Part 2 is released New Year's Day. Feel free to chuck some pennies into our Podcast PayPal pot at davideagle.co.uk   Happy new year.  

It's our Christmas podcast, featuring a Christmas Miracle courtesy of a seasonal Spammer Time, some ramshackle Christmas rapping, a Christmas quiz (with a special guest), A Christmassy cassette Roulette, Christmas animal Penis facts, a festive Herbal Tea Of The week, and lots more.  

It's quite a quiz-heavy podcast this week. Test your 90s music knowledge, are you more intelligent than the average listener to a late night Teesside radio quiz show? And can you deduce the film that I am recreating with my incredible acting skills? Other questions included in this week's podcast: why is there a Norwegian architect in my bed? Are there any teenagers called Nigel? And have you ever made love in a swimming pool? There's more genital talk courtesy of Ellie Skinner's Weekly Animal Penis Fact and a rather strange genital-based Spammer Time.  

Nowadays David Eagle is a respected and indeed revered songwriter, with such classic hits to his name as Killing My Dog for Satan and What A C**t. This week we get an insight into his songwriting genius as we listen into the process of his fifteen year old self creating a new song from scratch. This is a must-listen for budding songwriters, or even established songwriters looking to up their game. Plus of course there's more animal penis facts (as is our duty) , a disturbing spam email and Ellie tries her hand at gangster rap.

David has an awkward pistachio nut based incident with comedian Tom wrigglesworth. We receive a video from a listener featuring some rather odd night-time noises which may or may not be inspired by my anecdote on last week's podcast about the time I accidentally made a sex tape. Plus more odd spam emails and a new exciting feature with a new exciting jingle.

Join me in the kitchen for two tales of tube-based altercation, and the story of that time I made an accidental sex tape.

Featuring Boney M news, a very moving tribute to John Challis. A triplet of teas culminates our Herbal Tea Of The Week series, but only one tea can be crowned king of the cold brews. Plus more desultory DJing, captioning confusion and a cornucopia of characters, including our new Australian podcast producer and the return of Tom from the 90s Ford Jennings North East radio commercial.

Can a monitor lizard love you? Can trains fly? And what do you get when you cross frank Spencer with a Labrador Retriever? It might well be our cold brew series, but nevertheless things are really hotting up in Herbal Tea Of The week. Plus eccentric DJing, weird radio commercials, unusual impressions, and a story about a dog infiltrating our theatre show  

We are invited to join the illuminati, Ellie gets into a street fight, and we receive some surreal sex education from a weird old woman.

More train travel tribulations, a nerdy shoutout, a disturbing infomercial, the FBI get in touch, and how will this week's cold brew herbal tea fare?

At 11pm on Saturday 31st July I was turfed out onto the street by Britannia Sachas Hotel in Manchester, despite having booked and paid for a room. They had sold my room on to someone else at a higher cost. Last week I devised a plan to gain my revenge on Britannia Hotels. I wrote a song about them, contacted the newspapers, sent emails, Facebook invites and tweets to fellow folk singers and comedians in the Manchester area. The idea was for us all to flash mob the hotel with my song. Hundreds of people expressed an interest in joining me. Manchester Evening News said they wanted to cover the event. This podcast is a recording of what occurred when we travelled to Manchester to picket Britannia Sachas Hotel with my song of protest. How many people would join me, and will the newspaper reporter turn up to cover it? Find out in this instalment of The David Eagle Podcast.

More tales from being on the road doing stand up comedy. Last week's adventure was nearly being beaten up outside a rough Kent pub. This week I am unexpectedly turfed out onto the rainy streets of Manchester late at night. IN complete contrast to that, we celebrate the return of our ability to once again smell and taste by sampling and reviewing a herbal tea. We have yet another Arch Bishop Of Canterbury story, and there's my most personally embarrassing Cassette Roulette yet.

This week I did my most surreal stand up gig by far, and fortunately for you I recorded it. So press play and join me in a rough rowdy pub in Kent for the "highlights", one of which being a bloke threatening to kick the shit out of me.

Covid-based isolation isn't enough to keep me and Ellie from recording a podcast. We've miced up separate parts of the house to talk some more about testicles and to bring you your favourite features, Cassette Roulette and Spammer Time, but not Herbal Tea Of The Week because we can't smell or taste anything. This week's guest is comedian and taxi driver Trevor Bickles who recounts three of his most memorable taxi journeys, and you'll never guess who he's had in the back of his cab.

The bad news is I've got Covid so I've had to cancel all my festivals and gigs until the 24th July. The good news is that you are still allowed contact with me through the medium of podcast. So listen in for some gig anecdotes, including the tale of the rather harrowing experience my dad had during one of my stand up nights.

This week, a gay animals themed quiz; Elton John based dog puns; dodgy radio adverts; more stories of harrowing journeys, and more penis trivia; plus all your favourite features: Herbal Tea Of The Week, Cassette Roulette and Spammer Time.

It's the final Potato News. Never mind Euro 2020, if you want high drama and compelling competition then check out this week's Herbal Tea Of The Week. We go down a rabbit hole due to a mysterious message left on an answerphon twenty-seven years ago; and the police get involved.

Phil Nichol returns to sample a herbal tea with us, tell a tale of a cold call confrontation, and shares two stories of harrowing journeys. Plus the penultimate Potato News, and there's a surprise appearance from Ann Widdecombe.

This week I've been doing online school workshops during the day and stand up gigs on the night, and surprisingly my best heckle came from a primary school child. Hear all about that, a clip from my surreal stand up gig in Liverpool, an epic tale of train travel trauma, Ellie has been secretly recording me, plus the regular features and lots of miscellaneous chat.

Back in the studio this week after a week of stand up comedy gigs, including a rather odd one in Liverpool where I had an altercation with five drunk loud-mouthed girls. The story of that, plus incongruous radio adverts; there's a bit of slapstick in a cupboard, epic flailing mouth trumpet solos, and the return of an old faithful feature with a bit of a twist.

Finally, I'm back out gigging, and I have plenty of stories to share. So this week I go for a walk by the river to impart those tales to you, but get a bit sidetracked by Millwall FC supporting birds and rampant dogs.

This week's podcast is full of contrast and contradiction. While it may  be our most angry, sweary episode, it's also probably our cutest, sweetest episode, as I recount a tale about my teddy bear Bingo, and how it led to my first comedy performance at the age of five. There's altruistic rapping, a spot of embezzlement, and can our glorious socialist potato-based utopia prevail?

Warning, there's nothing erotic going on, and we have the video to prove it. There's rhubarb frolics, I release a damp squib over Christina Aguilera, and when it comes to potatoes I don't have it in me.  There's Comical Columbian Commentary, a half-arse music quiz, and we receive a cryptic proposition from the International Monetary Fund.