The Important Questions

Our four dumb asses are back in our seats for your quarterly allotment of comedy. We can't wait for you to hear June's episode. But here we are and here's what you got.Warm Up: How would you respond to a guy sending your girl a mermaid emoji?How difficult is it to sell knives?What are some good and lesser-known food combinations?Midshow Pt 1: Ranking sparkling watersActual Midshow - RANT: Pokemon actually blows.If your pants pockets had video game inventory logic, what things would you carry around?Is the shopping cart theory true? Do you return your shopping cart?Post Theme 1: Glinko ponders self-suckingPost Theme 2: Glinko ponders the uniqueness of farts708-433-9153 text/call and your questions can be on next year's episode! See you bozos next time!

Get used to sporadic episodes! Smitty and Rico are full time dads which is a lot different of a lifestyle than what we started with back in 2016. But when we get back together there's magic and a whole lot of complaints about society. Here's what we got this episode:Intro: Do you use the 1-ply toilet paper barrier on public toilets?How would you feel gifting or receiving a pubic manicure gift?What are our predictions and manisfestations for 2025?Would you use an Epipen-style medicine to prevent pants shitting?Post Theme: The Wiener Mobile driver's salaryAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find episodes of our previous show here: https://archive.org/details/@impquestionspdcHide

The title may be misleading. This episode is VERY loosely Halloween related thanks to our listener GLINKO STINKO and his question around Halloween. Also, it's our pleasure to officially publish the location of our prior show. If you're a fan of the current show, a selection of our old show is available minus bonus episodes and the (very terrible) first 25 episodes. Enjoy several hours of content. Link below. Here's what we got this week. Intro Part 1: When are you releasing more goddamn content?Intro Part 2: Do you pee dick out only or balls out too?Intro Part 3: What household item could you give away on Halloween and not run out?When have teachers or professors derailed classes with long tangent stories?When is the most inopportune time to give or get a little forehead kiss?Midshow: Crunchy/Crusty/Crispy, Soft/Smushy/Squishy, Butthole/Asshole/AnusWhat's the deal with gaping porn?What Impractical Jokers style punishment would we inflict on each other?Power Rangers talkAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Find episodes of our previous show here: https://archive.org/details/@impquestionspdc

For episode 50 we got slice of life shit, humorous shit, and real shit. Everything you've come to love in our show all wrapped up in our halfway to 100 episode. Here's what we got this week:Intro: If you had to combine shrimp and marshmallow into a palatable dish, what would you make?What cryptid would taste the best?What is the best season?Midshow: Brilliant Ideas - Refrigerated PocketsWhat places have specific smells to them and what specifically makes them smell that way?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

Ever wonder what your odds are of surviving various animal attacks? We got you covered using the most advanced scientific data to date to break down your odds! And we found out after the fact that bismuth is the active metal ingredient in Pepto Bismol. That's the 'Bismol' part of it. Here's what we got this week:Intro: Would we join Scott's "poop band"?What animals could we beat in a fight?When does a branding cross-over go too far?Is jacking off overrated or underrated?How would you try and convince people that you were probed by an alien?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

This episode is exclusively for mall-walkers in wind breakers getting their steps in. Everyone else, see you next time. This is what we got for you.Intro: Are there any microwavable meals that don't suck?What would be the best unorthodox bathroom decorations?How are malls still in operation?Midshow: I Saw a Guy Midshow Pt II: Dave's Letters to the Editor - Reprise of that expletive product slogan question.If money wasn't an issue, what would your dream job be?Post Theme: The Cat Stroller & Dr. Doug wants to ride bikesAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

Wake, puke, brush, chug milk, repeat. Here's episode 46's shit:Intro: How long would you have to fart one continuous fart before you call an ambulance?How can you spruce up and add value to your property or living space?Why do men get pee-shy? What else could you not do with people watching you?What traveling food trucks could replace the ice cream man?Post Theme: Smitty Smells ShittyAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

If you enjoy drinking milk, learning about milk, milk talk, and all things milk - then we're happy to announce that MILK TALK IS BACK. Here's what we got this week (also Rico is back).Intro - would you get a pitcher of milk?What is the tier list of meats?What is the scariest piece of media you've consumed?Midshow: Funny or Dumb - Smitty and Dave's Wives' BreakdownsShould you get into storage unit auctioning?What are some unconventional things to put in a smoker?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

I told you I'd upload multiple episodes. Dave always delivers. Here's what you can expect in these next 70 to 80 something minutes.Intro: How well could you pull of a microwaved steak dinner?What is soup?Would you kill E.T with a hammer?Have you seen a Cybertruck in the wild yet?How do people tolerate living in cities?What's the best combo of safety, effectiveness, and fun in weed killing?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

I, once again, have to remind everyone: my upload schedule, our recording schedule, and et cetera et cetera is now under new management. I can do whatever I want. So I decided this week to be generous and release multiple episodes. Today's release is episode 43, so please enjoy. Intro: Why do we also pick the wrong lines?What things have you tried to get into but could not?How far would you get from home at age 10 in a real Pokemon universe?Midshow: RANT - Urinal anglesWhat the awkward middle steps of evolutions?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

It's episode 42 for real now. Recorded back in May, yet these topics are so evergreen that no amount of 4 months can make it not topical anymore. Here's what we got for you this week.What can be done about teenagers?How have you noticed yourself becoming your parents?Midshow: They Did the Math - The Fart LimitHow could moshing be marketed as exercise?Klem Stump's Voicemail about pet namesPost Theme: What is the worst theoretical house pest?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Rate our show or leave a review on whatever platform you're consuming us.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

This is episode 47. I don't have to release episodes in order. I can release 55 next week and you'd just have to deal with it. So here's the 47th episode topics.1) Intro: Happy beauthday to Beau.2) Where is the worst place to piss your pants?3) How effective would a product be if they just advertised using expletive slogans?4) What is the most unorthodox high snack?5) Post Theme: Glinko's question about the flavor of teeth.Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

We welcome you to join our dinosaur discovery pact. To learn more, listen to the episode. All listeners should commit to our dinosaur discovery pact to better our chances of a new dinosaur discovery. Here's what we got this week. ALSO RICO IS BACK.1) Warm Up: What would you name a new dinosaur discovery?2) Smitty bitches about the cyber truck.3) What's the coolest thing a shitty person did?4) Midshow - Rant: Is That Asshole the Asshole?5) Midshow - Antirant: Mulch 6) What would be the coolest first sin?7) What do you do about a bad handshake?8) The story of Pirate JoeAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

We're back. You know we couldn't leave you. We love you so much. And we got the following stupid topics for you this week:1) Warm Up (From Glinko): How much money would you need to let your parents read your search history out loud?2) Are you obligated to give gifts to people you don't know that well?3) Funny or Dumb Midshow: Fart Chips4) How would you utilize bathroom telepathy?5) Smitty Presents: "I Know That Guy"6) Dave Presents: "The Dick Finder App"Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.

By popular demand, Poo Crimes bonus episode is now free to listen to for everyone! Listen to 3 real stories of crimes based around poo. 1) The Mad Pooper2) The Bowel Movement Bandit3) Russian Poop Cannon

This is the part where Dave writes the questions and stuff, but I'm phoning it in really fuckin' hard. There's questions about pet names, chores, and I think being in pain. Oh but the important part, the Patreon is shutting down and we're moving to episodes every other Tuesday going forward because life is busy and it's been tough going at the rate we've been going for a long time. We love you fans a ton, and we hope you understand. If not, we're still not gonna do anything about it.

Can you guess that I couldn't come up with another title? Dave is off this week so Scott is at the helm doing his best. I apologize in advance for any missed noises, mic stand bumps, or nonstop orgasms that may occur. Don't worry, 'ol Davey-boy called his question in, so you still get a taste of all 4 of us. Open wide, here is what we got for ya:Intro: What is the best/worst occasion to take someone to Cracker Barrel?Rico asks: "What are some inventions that are sweet and cool and yea, that's what I wanna know" Dave's question: What's a weird way for an animal to poop?....something like that ( i forgot to write it down and don't want to listen back)Scott asks: "Do you think you could be handcuffed to a mime for a week if that meant you got the following week off".Smitty asks about updates for your hobbies and how they are progressing. Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153. Find us on our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit. Join our patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping the last Tuesdee of every month. www.patreion.com/theimportantquestions

This week, we're once again tackling current events. Nothing in this world is more timely than talking through Charlie Bucket's jerk ass grandparents. Here's what we got this week.Intro: Why do crinkle cut carrots suck so bad?What do you think about regularly that has no bearing on life?Midshow: Funny or Dumb - GarfieldHow do you make sports more enjoyable for people who hate sports?How would you go about living in the Bucket grandparents' bed for 20 years?Post Theme: Glinko FartsAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

All 4 idiots are back to give you an episode that's as decent as being naked while wearing socks. And here's what we got this week.What are some of the dumbest concepts for horror movies?Why do you feel more naked when you're wearing only socks?Midshow: They Did the Math - Poop LengthHow do you think you'll die?How would penis enlargement have to be presented to not appear as a scam? Would you legitimately want penis enlargement if it met the right conditions?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestionsHide

Smitty has Covid. Rico hasn't slept. Dave has half a turd in your asscheeks. And we're ready to bring you the best show you've ever heard this Tuesday. Rico calls in because he needed a nap. Here's what we got this week.Intro: Is Scott unable to please a woman? (From Glinko)Who has the weirdest nipples? Also what is the meaning of the pooniverse; the universe made of poo?Can you interpret Dave's poop dream?Funny or Dumb: Scott's Brother/Big DogHow does one become more interesting or smart?How long could you survive inside of a Wal-Mart?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

This week we all tossed in some questions we were very hesitant about. Pretty much every question is just a statement followed by "what's the deal with that". So i ask you, what's the deal with that? Did we give up already or have we been phoning it in since episode 16? Here's a look at this week's topics:Intro: What are you always losing?What's the deal with "I <3 my grand-dog" bumper stickers?Mid Show: What the f*ck is on Rico's shelves?What's the deal with the 5 star rating system?Rolls. Like, sushi or cinnamon rolls. What's the deal with that?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153. Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit. Some bullshit on Blusky tooJoin our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping the last Tuesday of every month. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

This week we give you some amazing facts and talk about Shaq's penis size towards the tail end of the episode. All that to say - this is our peak. This is our bread and butter. This is stuff you would be ashamed to tell your family and friends that you listen to - which is why word of mouth has gotten us nowhere. Here's what we got this week:Intro: Would you engage in sensual sexual relations with a consenting mermaid?What are the benefits of breathing out of your asshole, which is scientifically possible?Is $20 the new $10?Midshow: RANT - Frozen Dumplings & ANTIRANT - Used ItemsWhat would you want out of sex video game?What is the kaiju backstory for Paul Bunyan?Post Theme: Gingering & Anger AcceptanceAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

Through the magic of our text/voicemail line and Twitter, some listeners have inspired us to ask and answer questions that are entirely your own. For today's very special episode, we take those questions and address them with our brilliant, huge brains.Orgasm, sneezing, q-tipping an ear, scratching an itch, and farting. Which two would be the best to occur at the same time?What are some of the worst dates you've been on?Are mashed potatoes just Irish guacamole?Call in: What's your best fart story?Text/Twitter Shit: What's the best apple?If your penis is called a penis because you pee from there why isn't your butthole called a poonis?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

How's that title for a title? Never thought I could cram so much into a title. But in spite of the title, the episode isn't just about Smitty dragging us into another dystopian scenario as he lashes himself later on in the episode for it. But rather we return to 2024 in perfect form with talk of farts, fluids, and eating delicious frogs with honey mustard. Here's what we got this week.Intro: What's the best scented candle?What would you do if you had a one-off fart that sounded exceptionally strange?Where have you drawn the line on technology encroaching on life?Midshow: Anti Rant - Clothes PinsWhat is the biggest animal you could theoretically eat alive?Is there any food you'd wait in a 2 hour long drive-thru for?Post Theme: Smitty's Gifts Suck/Dog FartsAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

Sorry for taking last week off. If it's any consolation, get used to it because we're on break after this week for the holidays. We're coming back 1/9/2024 - so try to survive best you can until then. Here's what we got this week.What got you made fun of the hardest in school?What are some small optimizations you make in life?Midshow: Rico's Letters to the Editor + Rant - National AnthemWhat is the biggest food crime you've ever seen committed?How do you explain that a family member has become a hot dog? (and the souvenir question)Post Theme: Soundcloud and Planet Fitness are NazisAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month. AND WE'RE STILL DROPPING ONE THIS MONTH BEFORE WE GO ON BREAK.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

DISCLAIMER: RICO'S ADVICE SHOULD ABOSLUTELY BE TAKEN AND HIS FINANCIAL DECISIONS ARE SOUND AND GOOD TO FOLLOW.Here's what we got this week.Intro: If you used a construction site's port-a-potty, would anyone say anything?What are you proud of?How much do you do for certain holidays?What item on the Cheesecake Factory menu seems the most suspicious when a word is in quotations?What are some things that took you too long to discover?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month. NEXT TUESDAY IS THAT WEEK.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

This is our pre Halloween episode, and we incredibly loosely allude to it at least a few times to get you into the spooky spirit. HEY....AND THAT GIVEAWAY. READ THIS. FREE BONUS EPISODE TO ONE LUCKY PERSON WHO CALLS OR TEXTS A QUESTION INTO THE SHOW BY 10/31. Here's what we got this week.Warm Up: What Halloween candy is the best? Why do certain households give away office supplies?Which Wizard of Oz character got screwed over the hardest?What lies do we put up with?Midshow: RANT - Tee Shirt Logo EditionWhat was the last piece of technology that wowed you?What places would you haunt as a ghost?Post Theme: The Haircut Scenario GreentextAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month. NEXT TUESDAY IS THAT WEEK.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestionsHide

Happy Tuesday to everyone reading and listening. Dave is away at a client meeting today and wishes you to wish him well. But even if he crashes and burns and reveals he's an imposter that knows nothing about the field he works in, he has you all - the adoring fans. Here's what we got this week.Warm Up: What's the best thing to do with $20 you've found on the ground?Would you clone yourself?What is something that is perfect and cannot be improved?Midshow: They Did The Math - Farting to the MoonDo you have any irrational fears?What are/were some quick hobbies that you've gone down a rabbit hole for?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every monthwww.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

We are about to take away all the magic that you thought came with a massive orgy in this episode. You thought it was all fun, but the reality is the whole thing is an ordeal with drama like you've never seen. So if you're an orgy-lover, reconsider this week's listen. However, if you're wanting to get deep into the lore of orgies, this week we got you.Warm Up: Is the sneezing tradition weird?What activities would draw you to go to an adult summer camp?Midshow - Rant: Christmas EditionHow would life change as a man if we suddenly woke up with boobs?What are the types of people you meet at orgies?Post Theme: Smitty's JingleAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every monthwww.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

We're back for an October full of Tuesdays. 5 whole Tuesdays means 4 regular episodes and a bonus for your paid subscribers (who we love significantly more than non paid subscribers). This week, Rico was taking a fat shit, so here's what we got without him.Warm Up: How did Dave gain weight after pooping?Could you make a passable meal using pet food?Midshow - Funny or Dumb: Smitty Smells & Thick PissAre the Minions here forever?What's on the smash/pass list at a typical potluck?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every monthwww.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

Dave is having an incredibly busy week this week with work and wants your pity. Please send your pity by listening to our show and enjoying this week's episode that we worked so hard over for several minutes. Here's what we got this week.Warm Up: What would be the most ridiculous, mandatory question to ask as part of a job interview?How would you measure how badly things stink and what would be on the stink scale?Would you do [insert sexual act] in order to save your dying friend's life?Midshow: Ask the Fuckin' Boys - Bra Size + How to Act EvilHave you ever reconnected with an estranged friend and how did it go?What's something you can do for your pets that you can't do for another human?Post Theme: Ultra Strong vs. Ultra Soft TPAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month (AKA NEXT TUESDAY).www.patreon.com/theimportantquestionsHide

It's been two long weeks since you've last pleasured your ears with our show. Bonus episode week came and went and then Labor Day came and went and we took the week off. But we always come back from the store with milk, cigarettes, and loosely placed tamales. Here what we have this week.Warm Up: What's the weirdest thing you can have for breakfast?What is the cool to dickhead ratio for different names?What's the worst part of living in a world that's overly bureaucratic?Midshow: The Turkeydick Write InWhich apocalyptic event would you want to be your cause of death?What is the fanciest food you'd be willing to eat at a carnival and which foods would you avoid?Post Theme: Beau and Glinkeau Strike BackAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

4 weeks in a row without a bonus episode and one long ass month later, here's episode 22. For you paid listeners, we love you tenderly and you'll be treated next week. Here's what we got this week.Warm Up: How often do you shit?What movies have aged better as time has passed?Could you take care of a horse if one was dropped off at your house?Midsheau: On Trial - The Best LawyerWhat is the worst online take or opinion you've ever seen?Do rich people actually hunt the most dangerous game?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

Hello new subscribers from our Overcast ad. Thanks for clicking that ad and sticking around for awhile. To the rest of you who have been around awhile already, we hope you're ready for that ol' reliable Tuesday show you've grown to love so fondly and tenderly. Here's what we got this week.Warm Up Listener Question: What is the best night of sleep you can get outside of your bed?What should you do when people try to have conversation with you in a bathroom?What did you incorrectly think was luxurious as a kid?Midshow - On Trial: Mayo/Miracle Whip & Pissing/ShittingWhy do old people hate hearing aids?What are instances where the universe tries to even out life?Post Theme: A "Fancy Like' ReadingAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping on the last Tuesday of every month.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

This week is incredibly special, because we are finally welcoming our first ever (non bonus episode) guest! Host of TPTV on Twitch, the world's greatest Canadian: Ben Pants! And this week, we're bringing a nice Canadian flare to our already outstanding show.Warm Up: How often do you record?What pisses you off?Has the internet become less useful over time?Midshow: Letters to the Editor - Dwarf Fortress What rituals do you do in day to day life?(Non Question Bit) Ben's Take on CanadaWhat choice would you make in Sophie's Choice?What's the worst thing you'd put ketchup on?What has been wrongfully romanticized?Does Ben flush the urinal?Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping.www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

It's August (if you can believe it) and we're ready to hit you with a month of powerful episodes. Here's what we got this week.Warm Up: If you had 15 seconds to broadcast a message to the entire world, what would you say? (Special thanks to Mike from Lessons With Mike for this one).What are the best common ways to commit time fraud?What device would be the hardest to use if you had to suck it off to use it?Midshow: Wikihow - Taxidermy & Lap DancesIs peanut butter a liquid? Also, what is a liquid?How long is too long?Post Show: Urinal usage poll resultsAsk us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

No funny intro in the show notes this week. All the funny content is inside the show itself. But I will plug our bonus episode next week. It's $1 per month on Patreon to get it, and this upcoming one is a good one. Here's what you can look forward to in our show:Warm Up: What do you do with bugs in your house?What's the deal with companies that go out of their way to appear edgy?How much buttcrack showing is acceptable? Would you want to know if your buttcrack was showing?Midshow - LIGHTNING ROUNDWhat are the qualifications required to work at a pawn shop?What are some things you won't do yourself and will always pay someone else to do?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. Next bonus episode is next week and will be great for all you disgusting true crime fans!www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

After a nice long 2 week hiatus (which was only 1 week due to the holiday if you buy our bonus episodes) we are back!!! That's right - the four Acolytes of Knowledge have returned to answer life's most important questions. As we approach 20 episodes of our show, I just want to casually remind you to spread our show to other idiots who may like this show. Here's what we got for you this week.Warm Up: Could you make a decent meal with only gas station foods? And what ingredient do you always have in your kitchen?Is there anything adding more butter to would make worse? (Rico's question...apparently)What tasks have you underestimated?Midshow: They Did The Math: Balloon Farts ProblemWhat makes you stop at look at a garage sale?What music group do you have an unquenchable hatred for?Post Show: Where do you get that one long or thick hair?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. Next bonus episode is 7/25 and will be great for all you disgusting true crime fans!www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

Flush your waste. Don't be an asshole. Here's what we got this week!Warm Up: Do you flush urinals?What are some design flaws of the human body?What would men carry in their purses?Midshow FUNNY OR DUMB: "The Shitter"What do you judge your neighbors for?Is there such a thing as appropriate or inappropriate conversation with dinner?Post Theme: What does Rico think about a warm glass of milk?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. AND NEXT TUESDAY IS OUR 3RD BONUS EPISODE HELL YEAH www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

So right in the intro of this episode, you'll hear something along the lines of "we're four episodes deep" and that's because this here was the original episode four of our show! Due to Zencastr fucking our collective butts, our files were sliced and diced and otherwise made inconvenient to piece back together. Due to the miracle of Scott and his loads of free time, we have spliced this episode back together painstakingly to give you content on a week where we were too damn busy to record an episode. Here's the shitshow for the week:Is it worse to find 1,000 roaches or 1 person living in your attic?What's the deal with back pocket users?Do you tip/who deserves tips?What's the etiquette around finding barbers?How can Scott rid himself of the squirrels that live in his walls?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

Today's episode features a good shouting match on an incredibly dumb debate - that's some stuff you never want to miss. We debate the hell out of the dumbest topics for our (and your) pleasure. Here's what we got this week.Warm up: Would you rather bathe in hot dog water or eat a hot dog boiled in bath water?Why am I the bad guy if I ask who is farting on an airplane?What are some ways to exploit having a new child?Would you date or befriend a sentient, floating pair of boobs?What careers would be improved by a couple of beers?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions

Shortly after the recording of this week's episode, Smitty, Scott, and Rico all changed their mind on their determination of the 'Funny or Dumb' segment which is definitely funny and maybe even hilarious. Many are saying that. Many good people. And although 13 is unlucky, we feel today is your lucky day because you get to hear us finally hash out why yelling SUCK MY BALLS is a better insult that FIST MY ANUS. I know you've always wondered. Here's the topics this week. Is it weird to ask for a bite of other peoples' food?What video game do you have the most hours logged?Midshow: Funny or Dumb "Hnoles"What makes a sexual act a good or bad insult?What are business casual clothes for?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions Look....if you're not a Patreon donor, next week you get nothing. Episode 14 doesn't come out until June 6th. That's a long time to wait for conversation of four standard dudes. Spend your dollar. Spend it on us.

Today we attack the old. There's many reasons we could have done it, but their pronunciations and lack of technological smarts is the target. All that and......all this:Warm Up: What is with people that can't believe the day or the month?What are some of the stupidest pronunciations?Could you eat one thing for the rest of your life?Funny or Dumb: Glinko Part IIWhat's the opinion on people that play music on their phones in public bathrooms?What are the best and worst fast food places?Postshow: Old PeopleGive us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions MAY'S BONUS EPISODE WON'T BE FREE THIS TIME

OH BOY IT WAS HOT YESTERDAY BUT NOW THE FORECAST SAYS IT'S GONNA GET COLD AGAIN. YEAH YOU IDIOT, THAT'S CALLED SPRING. HOW CAN ANYBODY NOT UNDERSTAND THAT YET? Small talking weather is fine. Acting shocked when the temperature changes day to day is incredibly stupid. And I am here to plead my case this episode that you should already be used to this. Here are the topics this week.Warm up: What is with people that seemingly can't believe the weather?What is the worst type of mess to clean?In a world where AI takes over most jobs, how will people be fulfilled?Funny or Dumb: Scott's First Dumb!Why would you sue God?What are the worst careers for Bring Your Kid to Work Day?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions MAY'S BONUS EPISODE WON'T BE FREE THIS TIME

We got a show so jam packed with questions that are so incredibly important. It's gonna be a long show, so grab a Baconator® for those much needed listening calories. Here is what we have on the schedule.Warm up 1: If I was in need of a Baconator®, would you buy me one?Warm up 2: How would you push out a T-shaped poop?Rico tries a stupid question.What is the line in the sand when eating bizarre foods?Which of the Jackass Forever ball-torture methods would be the easiest to endure?Midshow On Trial: Gorilla vs. Bear and Lemon vs. Hot PepperWould you order chicken tenders from a fancy restaurant?What do you want from your boss?Post theme listener question - Why is golf the best?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions MAY'S BONUS EPISODE WON'T BE FREE THIS TIME

Partially because we're in the midst of an ad run, and partially because we love you all deeply, the first ever bonus episode of The Important Questions is a public resource for everyone to hear. Hopefully this will be the final straw that makes you realize you want to pay the $1 per month to receive an episode the last Tuesday of each month. Each bonus episode will be different, but they all will entertain. On today's bonus episode, we ask and answer only one question. How well can we differentiate a real from a fake news article in a competition style format? There can be only one winner and one loser dunce. We all hope you enjoy this once in a lifetime freebie!

We're back on this fine Tuesday and ready to share some solutions to life's most important questions. But before I hit those topics, this is the final reminder that next week is our first ever bonus episode. If you're not a $1 donor (see Patreon link below) then you will miss out on some incredible content. $12 a year for bonus content, and you make way more than that in even 1 hour of work. So donate that dollar, and we promise you'll have some good shit to show for it. Here's what we got going this week:Would you fuck an alien?Would you make a better criminal than most criminals?Funny or Dumb: Listener Edition #1What are assumptions you have to make when using the internet?How would life change if you were a contortionist?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations. If you can, write a review as well. And tell your friends about us!Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions AND BONUS CONTENT STARTS NEXT TUESDAY!

Welcome one and all to the 8th episode of our show. To all of our new Overcast subscribers, hey this is Dave and thank you and I love you. To all others, hey this is Dave and thank you and I love you. In just two weeks, our first bonus episode drops. If you're not a $1 tier donor on Patreon, then on April 25th you'll be devastated to find no new episode. But you know how to fix that. Anyways, here's the topics for the week:Warm Up Question: Could you eat so many pickles that your asshole becomes pickled, or would you die first?Walmart now sells sex toys in store. Would we purchase them?What conspiracy theories were likely tied to old technological advances?Midshow Double Feature: Rico's Letters to the Editor Part I & Honest Smitty's Podcast ReviewDo you park in peoples' driveways or the street?Why aren't there more kinds of fruit sauces?Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations.Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions AND BONUS CONTENT STARTS IN TWO WEEKS

Today's artwork is brought to you by Scott - he can draw a hell of a Tik Tok, but can't keep his lines straight. This week we address the four most important topics yet - and by far. I think.What is the purpose of bathroom attendants? And what other unnecessary places can we stick attendants?What is proper waterpark etiquette?Funny or Dumb: Smitty's Pesto MommyWhat do you do or not do out of principle?How will our species be punished for our hubris? (Or are we going to Hell)?Post Theme - Genius or Dumb: Soup BreadGive us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations.Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit.Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions AND BONUS CONTENT STARTS THIS MONTH

Recorded during Dave and Rico's norovirus saga, the Acolytes of Knowledge calmly and collectively discuss life's most important questions while holding back the destruction within their bowels. That is dedication. That is love for our audience. That is, honestly, super shitty. Here are our topics for the 6th episode.Warm Up: What is the severity of your response to how much someone has shat during the day?1) Have today's kids legitimately gotten worse?2) What are some 10/10 albums that Acolytes would recommend?Midshow Segment: On Trial - Sticky vs. Itchy/Cold vs. Hot3) If you could have an extra organ or appendage, but there was only a 50/50 chance it worked, what would you pick?4) Is there any topic that we are elitist or gatekeepers about?-Give us a rating on your podcast directory of choice. A show with ratings gives some merit, and it's a good way to push us in recommendations.-Ask us your own important questions or comment on our shows. We have a Google Voice line that is good for voicemails and texts. Contact us at 708-433-9153.-Find our socials. @ImpQuestionsPDC on Twitter/TikTok. @theimportantquestionspodcast on Instagram. r/importantquestionspod on Reddit. -Join our Patreon. The $1 monthly tier is enough to unlock the one monthly bonus episode we'll be dropping. More content for you, the donors. www.patreon.com/theimportantquestions AND BONUS CONTENT STARTS IN APRIL