The Leader in You
by Connect your people; transform you culture. With Dr. Lola Gershfeld
The Leader in You podcast is brought to you by EmC Leaders, helping companies to master the art of relationships so they can spend less time on people issues and more time accomplishing their most important goals. We combine the science of attachment and emotional connection with insight from the last 20 years to overcome workplace conflict issues, build strong team relationships, and create a connected culture. Your hosts, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian.
Episodes
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112. When Fear Does the Talking, Connection Gets Lost
“You’re not tired.” “That’s not what happened.” “We’re doing it my way.” Could these everyday responses be quietly disconnecting us from the people who matter most? In this episode of The Leader in You, we explore how dismissing someone’s feelings can fuel conflict—and how patterns learned in...
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111. Bring Your Emotions to Work: Building Connected Teams | ATD OrgDev Recap
What happens when leaders make emotional connection part of everyday work? In this episode of The Leader in You, hosts Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian welcome back Dr. Jaime Goff and Aric Bostick to reflect on their presentation at the ATD OrgDev Conference. Together, they explore how...
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110. Before the Difficult Conversation: Finding Your Emotional Balance
What can you do when a conflict leaves you hurt, overwhelmed, or stuck—and the other person isn’t ready to talk? This week on The Leader in You, Paulina and Dr. Lola explore how to use the EmC Reconnection Process on your own to understand your emotions and prepare for a difficult conversation....
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109. From the Playground to the Workplace: Breaking the Conflict Cycle
What do healthcare leaders and elementary school students have in common? They both need tools to work through conflict and reconnect. In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola and Paulina share stories from their training at Renown Health and from a classroom of fourth, fifth, and sixth...
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108. We Had a Conflict at Dinner—Here’s What Happened Next | Aric Bostick
What happens when three people who teach emotional connection actually find themselves in a real conflict together? In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld, Polina Marian, and returning guest Aric Bostick sit down in Reno after a dinner conversation unexpectedly turned into a...
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107. When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Fine: How Leaders Can Create Safety When Someone Is Struggling
Sometimes the words “I’m fine” mean exactly that. But sometimes, they are a way of covering hurt, fear, shame, or a sense of disconnection that feels too difficult to put into words. In recognition of Suicide Prevention Month, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian explore an important question…
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106. From Conflict to Connection: Finding Emotional Balance at Work
When your team is already overwhelmed, talking about emotions can feel like one more task. But what if those conversations are what help everyone regain focus and move forward? In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian explore how the EMC process brings structure…
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105. Why Feeling Seen Changes Everything: Aric Bostick on Attachment, Trust, and Resilience at Work
What makes people feel safe enough to trust, connect, and thrive at work? In this episode, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian sit down with speaker and educator Aric Bostick to explore how attachment science can transform the way we think about leadership. Aric shares why he believes attachment...
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104. The Secure Leader Goes First: Dr. Jaime Goff on Vulnerability, Trust & Attachment at Work
What does it really mean to be a secure leader—and why does emotional connection matter so much when the pressure is on? In Episode 104 of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina welcome back Dr. Jaime Goff, author of The Secure Leader, for a powerful conversation about how attachment...
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103. Why Conflict Isn’t Really About the Content: 5 Years of Emotional Connection
Five years after the original release of Emotional Connection, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and co-author Ramin Sedehi reunite to reflect on what they have learned about emotions, trust, leadership, and relationships—and celebrate the launch of the book’s second edition. At the heart of their conversation…
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Ep. 102 – Silence Isn’t Peace: What It Means When Teams Stop Talking
When someone on your team suddenly stops speaking up, stops pushing back, or simply nods along, it can be easy to assume everything is fine. But silence doesn’t always mean peace. Sometimes, silence is a sign of hurt, disconnection, or a relationship that no longer feels safe. In this episode of...
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101. When Trauma Hits the Workplace: Helping Teams Heal and Move Forward
When trauma enters the workplace, leaders often focus on getting everyone "back to work." But what if the fastest path forward is helping people feel emotionally safe first? In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian explore how leaders can help employees navigate...
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100. Stay Curious, Not Critical: How Curiosity Transforms Conflict into Connection
When conflict arises, our first instinct is often to become critical—of others, of ourselves, or of the situation. But what if the most powerful response isn't criticism at all? What if it's curiosity? In this milestone 100th episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina explore how...
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99. Organized Chaos: Turning Chaotic Emotions into Organized Conversations
Have you ever walked away from a difficult conversation thinking, "I don't even know what happened—I just know it didn't go well"? When emotions become overwhelming, our thoughts race, our reactions become automatic, and meaningful conversations quickly fall apart. Yet beneath what feels like...
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98. Aggression on the Court: Caitlin Clark vs. Stephanie White
When a highly publicized interaction between Caitlin Clark and her coach, Stephanie White, captured national attention, many people focused on the visible behavior. We saw frustration, conflict, and what appeared to be defiance. But what if there was something much deeper happening? In this…
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97. Developing Relentless Empathy to Navigate Team Challenges
What if the greatest skill for navigating team conflict isn't better communication—it's relentless empathy? In this episode, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina explore why empathy is one of the most important skills leaders, managers, HR professionals, and L&D practitioners can develop to create...
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96. The Top Onboarding Training Gap: Teaching New Hires How to Navigate Team Conflict
Most onboarding programs teach new employees how to do the job. Few teach them how to navigate the relationships. In this episode of The Leader in You Podcast, Dr. Lola and Polina discuss one of the most overlooked gaps in employee onboarding: preparing new hires to recognize, navigate, and…
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95. Why You Hate Making Decisions at Work - The VERSE Model
At the ATD Conference, we noticed a common theme: many leaders and learning professionals were excited about innovation and AI, yet hesitant when it came to navigating emotions, vulnerability, and human connection in the workplace. That tension inspired this conversation on emotional...
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94. AI Was Everywhere at ATD… But This Is What Stood Out
After returning from the ATD Conference, one thing kept staying with us. Yes, AI was everywhere. It was in sessions, at booths, and woven into conversations about the future of work. But what stood out most wasn't technology at all. It was people. In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola...
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93. Live from ATD: Thriving Talent in the Age of AI with Aoife O'Brien
In this special live episode from the ATD Conference in Los Angeles, Dr. Lola Gershfeld welcomes returning guest Aoife O'Brien, author of Thriving Talent and host of the Happier at Work Podcast, for a thought-provoking conversation about one of the biggest questions leaders face today: As AI...
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92. Live from ATD: Disengaged Teams Don’t Happen by Accident
What really causes disengagement at work? Is it a lack of motivation, poor communication, or something deeper? Broadcasting live from the ATD Conference in Los Angeles, Dr. Lola Gershfeld, Polina Marian, and Niamh Hannan explore the hidden emotional patterns that shape workplace relationships and...
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91. Why Workplace Conflict Feels So Personal: The Attachment Patterns Behind Leadership & Team Dynamics
In this deeply personal and insightful episode of The Leader in You Podcast, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian explore why workplace relationships can feel so emotionally intense—and why conflict at work often has roots far deeper than communication skills alone. Drawing from attachment…
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90. Beyond Culture: Why Human Connection Works Everywhere
What if the biggest challenge in your workplace isn’t culture… but disconnection? In this episode, we explore a powerful insight from the recent SIOP Conference: No matter where people come from—different countries, languages, or backgrounds—the way they respond to disconnection looks strikingly...
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89. Why You React the Way You Do at Work - Now vs. Later with Karen Thrall
What really happens in those moments when emotions take over at work? In this episode of The Leader in You, we sit down with Karen Thrall, author of Don’t Lose Your Sh*t at Work, to explore the powerful patterns behind how we react under pressure—and why those reactions can either damage or…
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88. From Space to the Heart: Why Connection Is What Brings Us Together
What happens when you travel a million miles away from Earth… and discover what truly matters most? In this deeply moving episode, we reflect on the emotional return of the Artemis II astronauts—and what their experience reveals about the human need for connection, trust, and belonging. As the...
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87. Your Future Self Will Thank You - If You Master This First
What if the most important leadership skill isn’t how you manage others—but how you manage yourself? In this episode, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Niamh Hannan explore how the Emotional Connection (EmC) process can be used for self-development—helping you recognize when you’re triggered, understand…
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86. Men and Emotions - Your Vulnerability Is a Strength - Not a Weakness
What if the very thing you’ve been taught to hide… is actually your greatest strength? For many men, emotions have been framed as something to control, suppress, or avoid—especially at work. Stay logical. Stay composed. Stay strong. But underneath that message is something rarely acknowledged…
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85. Beat the Fight in 4 Steps
Workplace conflicts happen—but most leaders don’t know how to stop the cycle once it starts. In this episode of The Leader in You, Polina and Dr. Lola Gershfeld explain how to beat the fight in four steps using the Emotional Connection (EmC) process. Instead of escalating arguments or avoiding...
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84. Psychological Safety vs Emotional Safety
In this episode of The Leader in You, Polina and Dr. Lola Gershfeld welcome leadership consultant and author Aoife O’Brien to explore a powerful question facing many leaders today: Is psychological safety enough — or do teams need something deeper to truly thrive? Drawing from her book Thriving...
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83. Pause Before You Lead
What if the real breakthrough in leadership isn’t about strategy — but about learning to pause? In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola and Polina welcome entrepreneur and leader Lisa Zimmer for an honest, vulnerable, and deeply practical conversation about emotional growth in leadership....
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82. When Positive Thinking Fails
What if “just think positive” is actually keeping you stuck? In this powerful and slightly controversial episode of The Leader in You, we unpack a viral positive-thinking challenge that promises life change in seven days — no complaining, no criticizing, only positivity. Sounds inspiring… but…
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81. Success in Vulnerability
Why is vulnerability so often seen as weakness—especially at work? And what if it’s actually the key to movement, motivation, and lasting success? In this episode, Dr. Lola and Polina build on their previous conversation about the basics of the EmC process and dive deeper into one of the most...
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80. When Silence Becomes a Lawsuit - The Hidden Cost of Manager Avoidance
What happens when a manager doesn’t respond to an employee’s text? When a request is ignored? When “we’re just here to do a job” becomes the culture? In this powerful conversation, we sit down with employment attorney Hanna Ranaan, who has represented both employees and employers and now serves…
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79. Love Is in the Air - Why Emotional Connection Changes Everything at Work
As Valentine’s Day approaches, we’re talking about something we don’t discuss nearly enough—love, emotional connection, and why they matter so deeply in our work and relationships. In this episode, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina explore the simplicity of the Emotional Connection (EmC) process and...
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78. Turning Leadership Turmoil Into Purpose
What happens when leadership feels overwhelming, disconnected, or quietly empty—even when success looks strong from the outside? In this episode of The Leader in You, we’re joined by Susan M. Taylor, CEO of Generon International and founder of Taylored Wisdom, for a powerful conversation about...
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77. The Real Reason You’re So Sensitive at Work
In this episode of The Leader in You Podcast, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina unpack the real reason people feel “so sensitive” at work—and why it’s not a flaw, weakness, or lack of professionalism. What we often label as sensitivity is actually the activation of emotional raw spots—deep relational...
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76. New YEAR micro Habit that will change your leadership
As the new year begins, many leaders set bold resolutions—yet struggle to create change that truly lasts. In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina explore one simple but powerful micro-habit that can fundamentally transform leadership: slowing down in moments of…
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75. Through Tragedy Came Light - A Personal Interview with Dr. Lola
Some leadership frameworks are born in classrooms. Others are born in suffering. In this deeply personal episode of The Leader in You Podcast, Dr. Lola shares the story behind the Emotional Connection (EmC) process—a journey shaped by years of workplace conflict, disconnection, and emotional…
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74. Philosopher Turned Conflict Expert - Hear It from Merry
In this inspiring episode, we sit down with Merry Brown—a philosopher-turned-mediator, ombuds, facilitator, and host of Conflict Managed—to explore how her unique journey from academia to workplace conflict resolution is reshaping the way organizations think about tension, triggers, and team...
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73. The Next Generation of Emotional Leaders
In this special and heartfelt episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and co-host Polina Marian welcome a uniquely insightful guest—16-year-old CEO, influencer, and long-time EmC practitioner, Elli Goldberg. Elli shares her remarkable journey of navigating family transitions, growing...
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72. Why We Act Weird at Work
In this heartfelt Thanksgiving-week episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and co-host Polina Marian explore a surprisingly common but rarely discussed experience at work—how even a small moment of feeling forgotten or unseen can shake an entire team. Drawing from a real situation…
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71. Keeping Your Focus
In this episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and her daughter and co-host, Polina Marian, explore one of the most universal leadership challenges: how to keep your focus during stressful situations. We often believe that staying focused means staying on the problem—the facts, the...
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70. Becoming a Secure Leader
In this insightful episode of The Leader in You, Polina and Dr. Lola Gershfeld sit down with Dr. Jamie Goff, author of The Secure Leader, to explore how attachment science shapes leadership, team relationships, and the emotional culture of the workplace. Jamie shares her personal journey—from...
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69. Bringing People Home
In this heartfelt episode of The Leader in You, Dr. Lola Gershfeld speaks with Niamh Hannan, EmC Certified Trainer in Ireland, about what it truly means to bring people home—to themselves, to one another, and to emotional safety at work. Fresh from leading a two-day EmC Master Class in Ireland,...
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68. When Conflict Throws a Curveball
In this episode, Polina and Dr. Lola unpack what happens when workplace conflicts take an unexpected turn — what they call “the curveball.” Whether it’s defensiveness, shutdown, or denial, these moments often derail even our best intentions to connect. Together, they explore how emotional...
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67. A FIGHT no one EXPECTED in Aerospace Engineering - ATD OrgDev Day 2
What happens when two aerospace engineers just can’t get along—and a manager decides not to force a resolution? In this insightful and entertaining episode from Day 2 of the ATD OrgDev Conference, Dr. Lola Gershfeld, Polina Marian, and guest Matt Gjertsen with Better Everyday Studios uncover how…
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66. Yes, And - ATD OrgDev Day 1
In this lively conference edition of The Leader in You Podcast, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and her daughter and co-host, Polina Marian, bring listeners behind the scenes at the ATD OrgDev Conference in Houston — joined by special guest Beth Messick, leadership coach and advisory board member for OrgDev....
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65. Stuck, Stressed, or Disconnected? There’s a Way Out.
When conflict and loneliness take over your workplace, your body and mind pay the price. In this episode, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian explore the powerful link between emotional connection and well-being — drawing from the landmark Harvard Happiness Study and decades of attachment…
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64. THE SECRET Ingredient to Team TRANSFORMATION
What if the key to transforming your team’s culture, connection, and performance wasn’t another system or strategy—but something far more human? In this episode, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian reveal the secret ingredient to true team transformation: self-awareness. Drawing from real data…
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63. L-TEMPO - Turning Conflict into Connection at Work and Beyond
In this episode of The Leader in You Podcast, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina explore a powerful new framework for understanding conflict and restoring balance - L-TEMPO. Just like dancing, relationships move to a rhythm, and emotions are the music that guides us. El TEMPO stands for: L – Longing…
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About this show
The Leader in You podcast is brought to you by EmC Leaders, helping companies to master the art of relationships so they can spend less time on people issues and more time accomplishing their most important goals.
We combine the science of attachment and emotional connection with insight from the last 20 years to overcome workplace conflict issues, build strong team relationships, and create a connected culture.
Your hosts, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and Polina Marian.
Hosted by
Connect your people; transform you culture. With Dr. Lola Gershfeld