PODCAST · health
The Man Rules
by Dan Griffin
Live with intention. Build connection. Create a more meaningful life. Host Dan Griffin shows you how, through funny and insightful conversations about The Man Rules — those often-unconscious expectations that shape what it means to be a “real man" in the 21st century. It’s a must-listen for anyone seeking to live a more authentic life.
Episodes
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That's All Folks.
Welp. Here we are. The final episode of The Man Rules podcast. Dan and Andrea (the show's producer) take the opportunity to reminisce, reflect, and ruminate on what might be next... Sometimes, abundance comes from letting go. You've gotta make room to receive whatever gifts may be coming your…
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What Men Would Tell You... About Having All The Answers
There's no tenure for manhood. The false promise of The Man Rules, is that if you follow them closely enough, for long enough, you will soon rest easy in your identity as man. But, the truth is, a man's status as a man will have to constantly renewed--daily. Sometimes hourly! Think of all the...
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Childhood Heroes and Personal Mythologies
All stories we relate to are based either on our wishes or on our fears. Sometimes--or maybe even often--both. That's what makes this week's episode with friend of the show Rick Belden such a powerful one. Rick leads Dan through a fascinating discussion about the ways in which we internalize our...
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Coping with Changing Gender Expectations
This week, friend of the show Dr. Michael Levittan is back to help us sort through the many changes in our expectations of men and women over the years, and how psychology and psychotherapy have played a role in helping shape and guide those changes. The conversation centers around the American...
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All Good Things Must Come to an End
After more than two years of operation, we have made the difficult decision to end production of The Man Rules podcast. So, this week Dan's solo episode--his last solo episode--is about what it means to embrace change. One thing we know for sure is that change is constant. It's not good or bad.…
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How to Stay Sober AF
Early sobriety can be lonely. Many people recovering from alcohol and other substance use disorders find that they have to change their entire social structure. And, that's not something that happens overnight. It takes time to develop an entirely new social life when you've had to leave the old...
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What Men Would Tell You... About Winning
"If you're not first, you're last." That's the mantra of Ricky Bobby, a champion NASCAR driver (played by Will Ferrell) in the cinematic masterpiece, "Talledega Nights." The great thing about that quote, and about the movie, is that it gently pokes fun at The Man Rule that says real men always…
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Leggo my Ego
Dr. Lou Cox has studied the ego for decades. He joins Dan to talk about his work and his new book, Ego: The Ghost in Your Machinery. Specifically, he and Dan talk about the male ego and how men thrive and suffer as a result of their dances with the ego. Cox talks about two essential needs every...
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Support the Podcast
This week, Dan's back with an update on our makeshift pledge drive. We hear from Noah, a longtime listener who has pledged his support, and Dan makes a case for you all to be like Noah. (If you can.) Would you be willing to offer a small monthly donation to keep the podcast running? (Say, around…
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Loving Like You Mean It
Chances are, you've had several relationships throughout your life. Some are ongoing (friends, family, etc.) Some ended. (boyfriends/girlfriends, spouses, lovers.) Some maybe even ended badly. If you reflect on the relationships that ended badly, and on the times in your ongoing relationships…
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Is Masculinity Toxic?
Thankfully, discussions about gender conformity and its influence on mental health, crime, and violence have hit the mainstream. A big part of that discussion focuses on the idea of "toxic masculinity." Is masculinity itself at the center of all of mens' problems? And are men at the center of all...
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Help!
We've been producing episodes of The Man Rules podcast every week for almost 2.5 years now. It's been an honor to provide this for free to our listeners as a resource for those in recovery, and those who just want to live more conscious lives. Unfortunately, we've reached a crossroads with the...
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Sugar Addiction and Compulsive Overeating
When we think about addiction and recovery, we tend to think specifically about drugs--both recreational and prescription-- including alcohol. But, some people struggle with other substances and behaviors that we don't often talk about when we talk about addiction--things like compulsive...
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What is Love?
Is love a feeling or an action? Is it a choice we make, or is the result of a magical bond with another person that is impossible to explain? Do you decide to be a loving person, or are you just born that way? If you've listened to this podcast before, you've probably guessed that the answer is...
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What Men Would Tell You...About Sex
"If it's true that men want sex 24/7, what does it mean if he won't have sex with me?" "Why won't he engage in foreplay before sex or cuddling after? There's no affection or intimacy." "Why is sex only about what he wants? Doesn't what I want matter?" If you're a woman who has asked yourself…
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Doing 'The Work' with Byron Katie
Look around your local gym long enough, and you're likely to see the phrase "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional," emblazoned on a bumper sticker, a T-shirt, or a bicep in the form of a tattoo. It's one thing to adopt that mantra as a way to encourage yourself to eke out one more rep or run...
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Let's Talk About Sex
Our culture is weird about sex. We're surrounded by allusions to it constantly--in our advertisements, TV shows, movies, music, websites--but it's rare for any of those mediums to address it in a way that isn't salacious or jokey. It's rare to see any real or fictional characters in popular media...
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A Deep Dive with a Stay-at-Home Dad
Men's experiences as fathers are more varied than popular culture would have you believe. Although the doors are beginning to open a little wider for men who want to take on duties that were traditionally only part of Mom's domain, there is still a lot of stigma to battle. Today, in honor of...
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What Men Would Tell You... About Their Fathers
When we become fathers, so many of our choices are reactions to how our fathers raised us. We often either fall in line with his expectations, or rebel against them. Either way, we aren't really making our own choices, based on who we most want to be. In this episode, Dan and Allen offer up some...
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Gay Men and Their Fathers
In honor of both Father's Month and Pride Month, we're replaying this episode from 2018, featuring the late Tim Clausen. Tim interviewed more than 80 men for his book Not the Son He Expected: Gay Men Talk Candidly About Their Relationship with Their Father. The book, and Tim's interview here on…
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Fathers Failing Forward
It's not easy being a dad--at least not all the time. There were no manuals. No instruction. No classes. Not really. And so, as Dan says all the time, we do it imperfectly. We try to parent consciously, but we fail. A lot. What if, as a lot of the modern-day gurus attest, that feeling wasn't a…
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Doing It, Consciously
When you have sex (or masturbate) do you have a goal in mind? Do you approach each sexual encounter with an unconscious strategy toward the endgame? (C'MON OF COURSE YOU DO.) Cam Fraser, a certified sexologist, Yoga teacher, and pioneer of conscious sexuality, is here to explain that by taking a...
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What Men Would Tell You...About Being Cool
Being "cool" is ultimately about fitting in. And, unfortunately, one of the requirements of fitting in for most men--whether their definition of "cool" leans more toward the Jock table or the Dungeons 'n Dragons table--is pretending that you have no need for emotional connection. In fact, you…
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The Unspoken Legacy of Emotional Trauma
It was a true honor to have Claudia Black, a pioneer in the study of the impact alcoholism has on families, join us on The Man Rules podcast. Claudia has dedicated her life to looking at the impact of trauma on family systems and the generational impact of alcoholism and other addictions. In this...
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What to Do When You're Sick of It
Listeners of The Man Rules podcasts tend to be types who, in one way or another, want to live better. They want to free themselves from the limitations placed on them by society's rules for how men should behave. They want to move beyond the fears and emotional barriers that keep them…
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Daddy Download: Awesome Dads Know Their Story
Everyone told you being a Dad would be hard, right? Many probably even said, "Nothing can prepare you…" And, man, they were so right. There's nothing we can tell you to make the transition to being a new Dad a smooth and easy one, but we can help you figure out how to be more involved, more...
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What is Sex For?
Have you ever asked yourself that question? You may think, "procreation, of course" but that doesn't explain why people who don't want kids have sex. If you say, "fun and pleasure," that doesn't explain why, for the most part, we still seek out sex with other humans--even in an era where we can...
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What Men Would Tell You... About Fighting
As a kid, you probably wanted to be cool. And if you were a boy, being cool meant being tough. Being tough meant being able to fight and win. If you weren't tough, you immediately felt inadequate. You weren't going to be able to protect yourself, you weren't going to be able to protect anyone…
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Money Matters: Talking Finance with Marty McAlpin
Money. Everybody wants it; nobody wants to talk about it. Except Dan, of course, and his friend and financial advisor Marty McAlpin. In this episode, they give an overview of various money disorders and help us increase our financial vocabulary. In addition to helping us understand the difference...
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Why Men Fight
If you're a man, chances are, at some point when you were a boy, a man in your family made a conscious effort to teach you how to properly throw a punch. That was a skill you would need as you grew into manhood and it was just an unquestionable fact. Boys fight. Men fight. The manliest men fight...
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The New Rules for Dads
The rules have changed for being a Dad. There's a lot of pressure these days for men to be more emotionally involved in parenting than their Dads were. But without role models, guidance and support for making these radical changes, what's a Dad to do? That's why Dan is writing a book with a…
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Men and Mortality
One of the most frequently mentioned Man Rules is "don't be weak." As a result, many men end up feeling ashamed when they become ill or injured. "Don't be weak" may also be at the heart of a man's resistance to acknowledging his, and everyone's, ultimate weakness--that they are mortal. Rick…
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What Men Would Tell You… About Being a Protector
Once a month, Dan and Dr. Allen Berger sit down to talk about a chapter from their forthcoming book, What Men Would Tell You…If We Weren't Too Busy Watching TV. The title of book is meant to be humorous, but it speaks to the real frustration that many women experience in their (heterosexual)...
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Keep It Clean
Once Tidying up with Marie Kondo hit Netflix this past January, it seemed like everyone was suddenly talking about the real impact of household upkeep on our minds, bodies, and spirits. Of course, conversations about the division of household labor are not new to anyone who is married, lives with…
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Poop Shoe
Dan traveled to Rio de Janeiro, and really stepped in it. Well, except he didn't really step in it. He just thought he did. You're really going to have to listen to him explain this one. Then, go to Dan's Facebook page, and tell us your story: Have you ever felt you had to do something you…
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How's the Water?
All too often men are tossed into The Water and told to sink or swim. For any struggle we face, we're often given some version of the same, age-old advice: "Man Up." (What the hell does that even mean? Especially at a time when we aren't entirely sure what kind of men we are supposed to be.) But,...
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Why Aren't I Happy? Men and Depression
Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women, and their depression is more likely to manifest as anger and violence. TThe Man Rules may be limiting in many, many ways, but for a while, they at least provided solid ground for men to stand on. Lately, that ground has begun to crumble...
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Beyond Consent: Building a Culture of Mutuality
This is a replay of one of our favorite episodes. If you feel frustrated by discussions about consent and sexual morality, this is definitely one you won't want to miss... Why are so many of us confused about consent? The idea has come up a lot lately in the wake of the #metoo movement. And,...
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Not As Seen on TV
This episode is a replay of one we first posted in back in 2017. Gillette's recent "Toxic Masculinity" ad recently brought ideas about the ways in which men are portrayed in popular media to the mainstream. Dr. Andrew Smiler has studied men and media for many years, and share some great insights....
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Get it Together, Man
As we near the end of January, we often also near the end or our resolve to finally get our shit together this year. We made our resolutions because we know that the feeling of being perpetually disorganized and out of control brings us down. It leaves us feeling lost, unsatisfied, and useless.…
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What Men Would Tell You…About Success
American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said that true success is "... to appreciate the beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better…" Clearly, that guy never had two kids and a mortgage. In this episode, Dan and Allen talk about the Man Rule that often drives many of…
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Keeping it 100
Is "keeping it 100" a thing people still say these days? Many eons ago, back in 2015, it meant "to be you, be honest, be true to yourself and the people you love, be unapologetic but respectful at the same time." In other words, it has pretty much been the goal of The Man Rules podcast from the...
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Making Habits Last
For many of us, vowing to change our habits at the beginning of a New Year has become, well… a habit. Unfortunately, all of the hope and good intentions we have on December 31, rarely sustains us past the second week of February. So, how can we make changes that last? In this episode, Dan shares...
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Santa Gets Real
We all have a story about what it means to be a man. What we aim to do on The Man Rules podcast is to help each other figure out how we can be the authors of our stories. We don't want to just mindlessly step into a role that was written for us, centuries ago, based on the needs and values of a...
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12 Stupid Things You Can Do to Mess Up The Holidays
Okay, you've requested your time off from the boss, booked the plane tickets, sent the cards, bought the presents, and baked the cookies --or completed any number of your traditional holiday tasks. So, you may think that you're ready for the holidays. But, we say, you're not really ready until...
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Get What You Expect
In this episode, Dan is finally going to tell you the secret to always getting what you want, when you want it. And the secret is… Let go of the idea that you should always get what you want when you want it. Instead, spend some time thinking about your expectations. Start, perhaps, with...
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How to Have a Happy Holiday—Yes, Really.
The holidays truly are magical. They have the power to magically transform fully functioning adults back into their adolescent selves, the moment they step into a room with their parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and/or cousins. No matter how much you've grown, how much you've accomplished in…
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What Men Would Tell You… About Vulnerability
There are two ways we tend to think about vulnerability these days. The first is in terms of our technology. When websites like Facebook experience a data breach, we are reminded that our personal information is "vulnerable" to hackers. (That's bad.) The second, is in terms of emotional courage....
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Transformers
If you think about it, nearly every story we pay attention to is one about transformation. The main character in your favorite movie likely starts out in one state, something happens, and they end up in a different state by the time the credits roll. The transformation can be mental, physical,...
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Daddy Download: Because I Said So
To parent is to spend most days in a state of barely-concealed, barely-contained insecurity, if not outright terror! Our little loves trigger not only our fears for them--will they be happy, successful, productive members of society?--but also our deepest fears about ourselves--Am I a crappy…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Live with intention. Build connection. Create a more meaningful life. Host Dan Griffin shows you how, through funny and insightful conversations about The Man Rules — those often-unconscious expectations that shape what it means to be a “real man" in the 21st century. It’s a must-listen for anyone seeking to live a more authentic life.
HOSTED BY
Dan Griffin
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Man Rules have?
The Man Rules currently has 100 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Man Rules about?
Live with intention. Build connection. Create a more meaningful life. Host Dan Griffin shows you how, through funny and insightful conversations about The Man Rules — those often-unconscious expectations that shape what it means to be a “real man" in the 21st century. It’s a must-listen for anyone...
How often does The Man Rules release new episodes?
The Man Rules has 100 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Man Rules?
You can listen to The Man Rules on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Man Rules?
The Man Rules is created and hosted by Dan Griffin.
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