The Married Counselors

In this episode, Ron and Lexie talk about prepping kids for back to school. Can you believe it's that time already? As time gets closer, it can be a good idea to start dialing back bedtime. A gradual reset can help that first morning to go more smoothly. Do you remember what the beginning of school was like for you? Did you worry about who you would be friend with or about bullies? What do your kids worry about? What do they hope will happen in this new year? This can be like New Year's resolutions for adults. Talk with your kids about what they hope and fear for this new year. Even if there aren't solutions, talking about our hopes and fears can lower anxiety. Finally, think about what systems you want set into place to help things run smoothly. I good system can run without much effort once it is implemented. We recommend a launch and landing system. What is the system for launching out the door in the morning? What is the system for landing? Where do you store backpacks? When do you pack lunches? Where and when is homework done? A little prep now can ease anxiety for all later. How do you prep for back to school? Tell us in the comments. We are always looking for ideas.

In this show, Ron and Lexie talk about their own stupid argument and deconstruct it for you. Ok. We argue too and we don't always do it "by the book." Did we do it wrong? There is not a right way to "argue." What was right? 1. We talked about it once we calmed down. 2. During the argument we avoided name calling and we talked from our own feelings and experience. 3. We let our child know that all was okay. 4. We kissed and hugged to make up. What are we working on? 1. Recognizing our own patterns of ineffective behavior 2. Not telling our partner what he/she is doing wrong 3. HALT acronym. Hungary, Anxious, Lonely, Tired How do you argue?

6 Simple Rules for Projects with Your Partner In this episode Ron and Lexie Lee discuss working on a project together. Have you and your partner had trouble working together and end up bickering? We have 6 simple rules that can help this go smoother. 1. Understand the chore 2. Have a budget 3. Pick a leader 4. Read instructions/follow plan 5. Be Patient 6. Prepare your thoughts Listen as we discuss these further and detail our latest project. Have you done any fun projects lately? Tell us in the comments below.

In this episode , Lexie and Ron Lee talk about the importance of having set behaviors or practices in your life that are non-negotiable. They believe that by putting such behaviors to practice within your life could manifest the feelings of joy and happiness. 1. Move your body daily 2. Prayer/spend time with God 3. Good nutrition 4. Focus on gratefulness 5.Plan the day 6. Recognize accomplishments What have you found to be a non-negotiable in your life?

What makes life good positive emotions being engrossed in something that you lose track of time a sense of meaning and purpose a sense of accomplishment positive relationships with others

7 Steps to Controlling Emotions in the Moment 1.Label emotion- Name it to tame it. When we are able to label how we feel, we take control of the emotion instead of the emotion controlling us. 2.Recognize that although we don’t choose how we feel, the emotion comes from somewhere. It is triggered by some event or words that we hear. This is another way of saying that we have feelings for a reason. 3.Identify the thoughts you are having (what’s in your mind). Are they positive versus negative? What is your intention? 4.Write down evidence that supports or contradicts emotions felt. Include what is true about the thoughts you are thinking and what is not true. 5.Can you look at it in a different way? Change your perspective if you can and even debate both sides of the argument. 6.Consider your options in how to react.

Do you feel like you and your spouse are always triggering each other? Are you realizing that if you make changes in yourself, the arguments can change? But you may be asking how to change your reaction. In today’s episode, Ron and Lexie Lee, The Married Counselors, discuss their own experience at automatic reactions and what they have learned can help change the look and feel of an argument.

As parents, Ron and I struggle with the balance between giving our children freedom to become self-sufficient adults and keeping them safe from harm. How much freedom should we give? When does parenting go over into the “helicopter” range? In today’s show we discuss the difference between “free range kids” and “helicopter parenting.”

Blaming is one of those traps that couples can easily fall into that shuts down communication and is a frequent topic in marriage counseling. In todays show Ron and Lexie Lee, The Married Counselors, talk about why we blame, the consequences of blame and 10 Steps to having a better Conversation.

Guilt…It seems to campout when we are working on work-life balance. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If we can be intentional about setting certain practices in place, we can take dominion and decrease the guilt. In today’s show, Ron and Lexie discuss how guilt has settled in to our lives and 7 ways to decrease the guilt and have more balance.

The 7 ingredients needed to make an effective apology. Before you apologize there are a few things to consider. Decide what went wrong. Did you do something wrong or was someone hurt? Sometimes we need to apologize for hurting someone's feelings even though our action was not wrong

In this week's episode, The Married Counselors, Ron and Lexie Lee, discuss the topic of letting go and forgiving difficult situations. Some problems are hard to let go. These may include physical and emotional infidelity, financial issues, or breaking plans or agreements. Letting go does not mean you're letting somebody off the hook or ignoring the problem. Letting go means that you are addressing the issue, but letting go of how your partner responds.

In this episode, The Married Counselors, Ron and Lexie Lee, talk about how to improve your relationship by learning steps to build your partner up. Many of us tend to focus on the negative and point out our partner's shortcomings. Ron and Lexie use humor and their psychology training to show 5 steps to focusing on the positive.