PODCAST · kids
The Mental Load
by Katlynn Pyatt and Angie Cantrell
Two millennial moms explore the mental load. Here’s the deal, we’re the first generation of women who saw both of our parents work outside the home. And, because kids are oblivious to how much work it takes to actually raise them, we naturally assumed that our parents split everything else it took to run our households. Then we grew up, got married and were like what the f***? You know this conversation. You probably have it with your mom friends all the time. It’s your never ending to-do list. The perception that you’re the household manager and keeper of all the stuff and the things. The mental load is so much more complex than delegating out chores and duties or telling women to practice “self care” or “take a day off”. We don’t want a day off, we want husbands who are more “switched on” throughout the day. How do we have this conversation in our household? What systems keep the mental load in place? Why does the mental load even exist? We’re here to explore all of these topics and
Episodes
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Feeling judged and the mental load
When men judge women for the mental load and how we choose to handle it. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses why sometimes as mothers, we might feel judged by our partners for the way we parent in certain situations/at certain times. But the reality is, that sometimes this is a result of the...
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Kids Chores and the Mental Load
How do kids' chores impact the mental load for women? In this full-length episode, we discuss various ways that getting kids to pitch in and do chores around the house, when managed differently between partners, can create more mental load for mothers. That's right, we’re talking about kids…
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Why Re-Delegating Chores to Kids Creates Mental Load
When husbands pass chores off to their kids it creates more mental load for women. In today's hot take, Katlynn discusses why passing the buck on chores might seem helpful and like husband's are teaching kids a lesson, but it really just keeps the mental load in place. More and more, men are...
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No Excuses - The Mental Load of Daily Chores
The mental load of daily responsibilities outweighs occasional maintenance chores. In this week's hot take, Katlynn discusses how, when men and women are raised differently, it creates a large gap in how they view household responsibilities. Men often say things like "I don't have to help with…
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The Sound of Silence - I Need Help!
How to immediately lighten the mental load In this week's hot take, Katlynn discusses how to identify when you're overwhelmed by the mental load and how to immediately get relief. Bodily cues can tell us we're at our limit: Tightening in your chest/feeling anxious Short temper Having brain fog...
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Just Lower Your Standards
Why men have the perception that women have standards that are "too high" and how it contributes to the mental load. We've all been in the situation before where we ask our husbands to do something. It seems easy and obvious: "can you clean the kitchen after dinner, please?" We leave and come…
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Medical Mental Load
Why women still carry the mental load when it comes to our children's healthcare. In this episode, we break down why women still carry a majority of the mental load when it comes to our kids and their medical records. Because of the way American structures its paid leave for women postpartum…
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Showing Support for the Mental Load
We don't want to ask for help with the mental load. Something about saying "can you help me with..." or "thanks for helping me with..." just grates on me. Most likely because it implies that I own the entire task and my partner only has to think about it and participate if asked, directed and…
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The mental load in LGBTQ+ households
What is the mental load like in LGBTQ+ households? Today, Dr. Jazmin Richter joins us to talk through their experience redistributing the mental load as a queer couple in preparation for kids. In this episode we do a deep dive in to how partners can be more supportive to each other, change…
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Are you a nag? Or is he just inconsistent?
"Just ask for help" when it comes to the mental load. Don't be a nag - why women are held to a double standard in the household. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses why women are held to a double standard; being told to ask for help to alleviate the mental load, while being called a nag when they...
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Advice from a Marriage Therapist (Rerun)
Advice on how to change the mental load from a marriage therapist. The effect the mental load has on marriages and how to have the conversation with your spouse. It's (one) of the episodes you all have been waiting for. How do you have the mental load conversation with your spouse and create...
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Weaponized Incompetence - Hot Take
The mental load and weaponized incompetence. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses what weaponized incompetence looks like after women have been gone for a short or extended period of time from their homes. When we leave our home whether to travel for work or for time away for a little bit of self...
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The Audacity - Moms Week Debrief
Why do millennial moms expect so much more from their husbands when it comes balancing the mental load? This week Angie and Katlynn debrief their episode with their boomer moms about the mental load. The two biggest takeaways from moms week were: They didn't have the language to talk about the...
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A Fast Way to Lighten the Mental Load
One fast way to lighten the mental load The affect of mommy influencers on our mental load There's no shame in the mommy influencer game. At all. It's a respectable way to make a living. But as millennial moms were inundated with information previous generations didn't have; in large part because...
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A Generational Take on the Mental Load
Join two millennial moms and their boomer mothers to discuss the mental load. This week Katlynn and Angie host their moms and mother-in-laws to discuss the mental load and get perspective from a different generation. We have our moms here because we thought it’d be a fun way for people to get to...
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Seeking a Clone Machine
The Mental Load and Prepping to go out of Town This week's hot take is about the mental load and prepping to go out of town. Those who carry the mental load can't simply pack their suitcase, give a few minor instructions and leave town. When you carry the mental load, in order to leave town you...
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What Makes Moms Badass
What transferrable skills does managing the mental load give moms? Today we’re discussing some of the valuable skill sets you get as a mom from balancing the mental load. I think we all feel stuck sometimes and focus a lot on the drain that the mental load causes and a while back, I listened to a...
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F*ck Dem Trees - Your Sanity and the Mental Load at Dinner
Sacrificing your sanity and being overwhelmed by the mental load at dinner isn't required. Be earth conscious, but don't feel guilty when you have to use paper plates to lighten the mental load every once and a while. As a family of six, the mental load around dinner and chores related to dinner…
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Identity Theft: How the Mental Load takes Over Women's Lives
How the mental load takes over women's lives How not to lose yourself in motherhood "I resent the fact that you (dads) get to maintain your individuality, while I do not." The Mental Load often takes over women's lives leaving us feeling unfulfilled and like we lost ourselves in motherhood. It's…
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PSA: Mother's Day & The Mental Load
The mental load and mother's day For men: Why moms care so much about Mother's Day Join Katlynn from the Mental Load Podcast in this Mother's Day hot take. Attention dads! Mother's Day for moms isn't necessarily about how big you celebrate it. It really comes down to being recognized for work…
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The Professional Mental Load and the Maternity Leave Tax
Preparing for maternity leave and the start of the mental load. Career coach to help moms navigate a career and children. Women deal with a lot of emotions and roadblocks going into and coming back from maternity leave. How do we better prepare ourselves, our workplaces and our partners so the...
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What Other Countries are Getting Right
How do countries outside America support families and therefore lighten the mental load? What do nordic countries do to support families: Baby boxes with important newborn items to set families up for success Paid parental leave In Norway, parental leave is paid at full pay for the first 44 weeks...
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A New Take on Meal Planning
The mental load of meal planning. Why families struggle with meals and how it creates invisible labor for women. Meal planning, it's a bitch, right? In this week's hot take, Angie, discusses how her family of six has tackled meal planning. And, if we do say so ourselves, it's kinda genius.…
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Maternity Leave Isn't a Vacation
Maternity Leave and the mental load Maternity Leave isn't a vacation. In fact, it's where the mental load really starts and becomes one-sided. Today we discuss how Employee Resource Groups can help support and lighten the load for not just moms, but all caregivers, joined by Sarah Reeves. Sarah…
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Acts of Service as a Love Language - Is it Bullshit?
Acts of service as a love language Anecdotally I have noticed that every woman in a heterosexual relationship will say that her love language is acts of service. Ask her husband what her love language is and he'll say "definitely acts of service". But I think this is bullshit. What if, women are...
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I Can't "Self-Care" Myself Out of This
Telling moms to practice self-care is not an answer to the mental load. What is the issue? Telling moms to practice more self-care is a bullshit cop out. Self care is defined as the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or...
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Motherly's State of Motherhood
Motherly's State of Motherhood and the Mental Load Join us and special guest, Kate Anderson, Chief of Staff at Motherly to discuss their annual State of Motherhood report. The largest body of research regarding motherhood and issues impacting families. Kate Anderson is a leader in generating…
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Holiday Magic vs. the Mental Load
What effect do the holidays have on the mental load for women? The holidays are often some of the most stressful time of year, financially, emotionally and physically for many families. Creating the holiday magic often falls to the already full plate of the mom, so what can we do to have a...
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Our Human Kids vs Anger
How our partner's anger impacts the mental load for women and affects our kids What is the issue? We are part of a generation that wasn’t raised to think about kids’ feelings. Our parents didn’t ignore us, but they also weren’t as keyed in on emotional and social well-being as we are today. A big...
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What I Hear when you say "We Just Need a Better Routine"
How routines help the mental load In our house, there's two versions of the mental load argument. Version 1 was "you just need to ask for help" now we're on to what I like to call 2.0 of the argument: "we just need a better routine". This statement sounds more progressive. It's action-oriented…
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Mom Guilt & What Holds Women Back
How does this affect mom's careers? Those who are able to put in more time, more travel, be available at all kinds of hours, etc. are more likely to get the big clients, the promotions, the career awards. But it’s not just about the time or physical availability; the mental load also affects…
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Don't Tell Me to Ask for Help
The Mental Load: Why saying "Just ask for Help" is wrong On this hot take, Katlynn discusses why men in relationships should not say "you just need to ask for help". This makes women feel: undervalued unappreciated taken for granted The reality is that you chose to do this life together, so…
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The Patriarchy vs. The Mental Load
How the Patriarchy Affects the Mental Load This isn't a "fuck the patriarchy/white straight men suck" episode. This is an acknowledgment and discussion of facts. The facts are, that the patriarchy exists; by nature, it oppresses women and people of color; and it needs to be reformed. (which would...
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Season 2 Coming Soon
Shorter episodes and weekly hot takes are coming later this fall! The Mental Load will drop new season every summer and winter. This gives Angie and Katlynn time to research and create quality content during the off-season. Thanks to everyone who's supported us so far on this journey, we're…
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Boy, Bye: Divorce and the Mental Load
Millennial women are getting divorced at higher rates and the reason is because of the mental load. The reality is women are not attracted to men we have to mother. We’re taught when we’re looking for relationships to look for someone we can take of. But that shit doesn’t change once you get...
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The Dad Privilege
What is the dad privilege? The dad privilege, maternal gatekeeping and the mental load. What is dad privilege? The internet says: it’s when dads are treated like heroes and get praised for doing the same shit that moms do every fucking day. Dads get praised for just showing up. “Aw, you planned...
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What your Kids are Learning about the Mental Load
What are we teaching young boys and young girls about the mental load? What do our kids learn from watching their moms carry the mental load? One goal of this podcast is to break a generational cycle. What are we worried our sons are learning when we bear the mental load? "A popular squabble in…
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Advice to Fix the Mental Load
Advice to fix the mental load How women can lighten the mental load Welcome, Melissa Bloom, energy coach! The most popular question we get is "how do I fix the imbalance? how do I get rid of or at least lighten the mental load?" It's a challenging issue because it has so many different facets to...
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Gender Programming
How does gender programming affect the mental load? All of this to say that women are taught from an early age that our worth and value comes from the house we keep and the kids we raise. Dads are taught that their job is done as soon as they’ve provided shelter and money for the family. What…
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But How? Mental Load Advice from a Marriage Therapist
Advice on how to change the mental load from a marriage therapist. The effect the mental load has on marriages and how to have the conversation with your spouse. It's (one) of the episodes you all have been waiting for. How do you have the mental load conversation with your spouse and create...
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Sticky Floor Glass Ceiling
What is the impact of the mental load on women's careers? Invisible labor for women at work How did we get here? The mental load has been a generational issue but it didn't become obvious to everyone until Covid where women suddenly found themselves working from home, parenting 24/7 and teaching...
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It's a Real F***ing Thing
What is the mental load? How does the mental load affect women? Is the mental load a real thing? And if it is, what is its impact on women? The mental load is all the “invisible work” that needs to be done to keep daily life going This includes cognitive and emotional needs as well. Cognitive…
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The Mental Load - Intro
Changing the mental load Helping moms understand and balance the mental load of raising kids Do you ever feel like you want to scream because you do all the stuff and things related to running your household and raising kid and yet nobody seems to notice how hard you work? We do. We're Angie and...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Two millennial moms explore the mental load. Here’s the deal, we’re the first generation of women who saw both of our parents work outside the home. And, because kids are oblivious to how much work it takes to actually raise them, we naturally assumed that our parents split everything else it took to run our households. Then we grew up, got married and were like what the f***? You know this conversation. You probably have it with your mom friends all the time. It’s your never ending to-do list. The perception that you’re the household manager and keeper of all the stuff and the things. The mental load is so much more complex than delegating out chores and duties or telling women to practice “self care” or “take a day off”. We don’t want a day off, we want husbands who are more “switched on” throughout the day. How do we have this conversation in our household? What systems keep the mental load in place? Why does the mental load even exist? We’re here to explore all of these topics and
HOSTED BY
Katlynn Pyatt and Angie Cantrell
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Mental Load have?
The Mental Load currently has 43 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Mental Load about?
Two millennial moms explore the mental load. Here’s the deal, we’re the first generation of women who saw both of our parents work outside the home. And, because kids are oblivious to how much work it takes to actually raise them, we naturally assumed that our parents split everything else it took...
How often does The Mental Load release new episodes?
The Mental Load has 43 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Mental Load?
You can listen to The Mental Load on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Mental Load?
The Mental Load is created and hosted by Katlynn Pyatt and Angie Cantrell.
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