The Motherlands Podcast

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.Today’s guest is Paige Connell, a working mother of four whose thoughtful online presence brings much needed honesty and clarity to conversations about contemporary family life. We explore the mental load, the unseen work of keeping a family running, and how it shapes our wellbeing, our relationships, and our sense of self. And importantly, the mental load isn’t limited to marriage or parenting; it shows up in all kinds of interpersonal relationships.We discuss how gender norms, the undervaluing of caregiving, and the “good mother” myth place disproportionate responsibility on women, often leading to loneliness, burnout, and tension in partnerships. We also examine the broader forces at play; rising childcare costs, the essential but invisible labor that makes paid work possible, the glamorization of trad wives on social media, and the need for stronger policies like affordable childcare and paid leave. In the extended interview, Paige gives her personal take on social media, both as an influencer and as a parent, and how she plans to navigate her own children’s exposure to it.This conversation looks at how making family life more equitable can strengthen the whole wellbeing of a household, improve the workplace, and shift the cultural expectations placed on women and families.Paige is a working mother who shares relatable content on TikTok and Instagram, highlighting the everyday experiences of women balancing motherhood, careers, and relationships. Known for her candid insights on the mental load of motherhood and the challenges of creating equity at home and work, Paige’s content resonates with millions. She also advocates for affordable childcare, paid leave, and reproductive rights, sparking important conversations about what families need to thrive. Her impactful voice and relatable storytelling have led to features in Scary Mommy, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and more.If you love the Motherlands Podcast, please help us keep it alive by becoming a paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com.2:26 Conversations for a fair life with your partner5:18 Mental load & the never ending to-do list8:27 Societal gender bias’ skew of the mental load12:09 How the lack of value placed on caregiving can shape identity & self-worth14:47 The good mother myth19:56 Loneliness and finding community in motherhood25:03 How the distribution of labor affects partnership & intimacy27:58 Therapy: the stigma for emotional unveiling for men30:22 Nobody can be at work without people providing care and labor at homeBehind Closed Doors Extended Interview for Paid Subscribers includes:33:43 The implications of rising childcare costs and monetizing care39:26 The vicious cycle and social media glamour fallacy of being a trad wife42:31 Social media literacy, drawbacks, possibilities, and algorithms47:28 How domestic labor impacts relationships of shared living50:26 Affordable childcare & paid leaveMOTHERLANDS Membership WaitlistConnect with Paige Connell:IGTiktokSubstackFree GuideWebsiteFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest thresholds.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.Today’s guest is actress, singer, and mother Kristen Gutoskie, and we’re having an honest conversation about what motherhood really feels like once you’re in the thick of it. We explore how she’s learned to trust herself, stay creative and find her footing in parenthood.Kristen opens up about the mental load; the invisible emotional work of keeping a family moving, the vulnerability of sharing her creative projects, and the ongoing challenge of being both a present mom and a whole person with dreams of her own. This episode is a reminder that you’re not alone, and that there’s real beauty in figuring things out as you grow into this new version of yourself.Kristen Lee Gutoskie is a SAG nominated actor known for her roles in the Emmy winning show The Handmaid’s Tale, Chicago Fire, The Vampire Diaries, Narco’s Mexico, Containment, and Lethal Weapon. She is also a musician and has written and recorded music for projects she has starred in, including CW’s Containment and Hulu film The Dust Storm. Her first music single “Stardust” under her shortened name Lee Gutoskie was released earlier this year.If you love the Motherlands Podcast, please help us keep it alive by becoming a paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com.3:00 The expectations of motherhood vs the realities4:12 Gaining control of yourself and surrendering control of everything/everyone else7:56 Trusting your intuition and instincts9:28 Connecting parenthood to childhood10:53 Honesty in creativity and what it means to be seen14:56 Following joy and passion17:45 Creative process, intention, and the vulnerability of sharing something you have created21:11 Legacy and the remembering of art, family, and truth23:15 What really matters in parenthood25:18 Navigating comparison28:15 Holding both being a mom and being your own personBehind Closed Doors Extended Interview Includes:31:44 The responsibility of the artist in socially relevant work33:30 Media representation of intimacy, birth, and motherhood36:14 Navigating technology, privacy, and family40:13 The evolution of your connection with your partner44:41 Sharing the mental load47:24 Letting yourself flow in parenthood and creativityWork with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODConnect with Kristen Gutoskie:MusicIMDBSocial: instagram: @kristenleegutoskie, tiktok: @leegutoskieRecent film:https://www.mylifetime.com/movies/i-was-octomom-the-natalie-suleman-storyNext film with Kristen to be released soon: https://takethemoneyandrunproduction.com/million/press/english/Follow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.Today’s guest is board-certified OB/GYN Dr. Ono Nseyo. We cover a wide range of women’s health topics, from birth control to the lack of women’s health research. We also talk about the gaps in prenatal nutrition education in medical training and the missed opportunities this creates for clinicians. We explore the importance of shared decision-making with patients, including how Dr. Nseyo navigates situations when a patient’s choice differs from her medical recommendation.One of the reasons I love this conversation is that Dr. Ono never pretends to have all the answers. Her honesty and humility are refreshing, especially in a field where overconfidence can overshadow curiosity and connection.In the extended interview, Dr. Nseyo speaks candidly about the pressures and limitations of modern medicine, the need to honor matrescence (the profound physical, psychological and emotional process of becoming a mother) and why postpartum care deserves more attention and support from clinicians.Resources from this episode:* For more on women’s health research, check out this episode with Katie Schubert from the Society for Women’s Health Research.* Read this article on how insurance companies are medicalizing the role of doulas to profit from them.* Join us for a roundtable discussion with Dr. Nseyo and midwife Nancy Beyda.Dr. Ono Nseyo is a board-certified OB/GYN and Medical Director of Women’s Health for Sutter East Bay Medical Group, where she leads efforts to expand access and equity in healthcare. Rooted in advocacy and compassion, her practice bridges clinical expertise with a deep commitment to maternal health and systemic change. She is also the host of Golden Hour.FM, a podcast that amplifies the many different voices and experiences of childbirth.If you love the Motherlands Podcast, please help us keep it alive by becoming a paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com.4:15 Birth control9:09 Keely’s experience of being pushed to take birth control for hormonal acne in adolescence & the need more women’s health research14:17 The black hole of nutrition in Western medical school20:13 Med school: from an algorithmic binary approach to patient-centered, shared decision-making care24:16 What is medical informed consent?27:09 Honoring patient autonomy43:27 The difficulties and frustrations of being a medical professionalBehind Closed Doors Extended Interview Includes:44:24 How medical insurance companies negatively impact the way doctors are able to care for their patients48:50 Matrescence & the need to invest resources in postpartum careWork with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODConnect with Dr. Ono NseyoFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.Nadine Artemis, founder of Living Libations, reflects on how modern culture places our senses in a hierarchy, often prioritizing the visual while neglecting the richness of the others. She invites us to consider beauty not just as appearance, but as a full body experience; a harmony of scent, sound, touch, and presence. We talk about living in deeper relationship with nature, and how that connection can support a more vibrant, embodied life. Our conversation covers topics like the rise of “millennial menopause” in women who are currently in their 30s, how to embrace winter while still supporting vitamin D synthesis, and the relationship between circadian rhythm, mitochondrial health, and hormone balance. In the extended episode, we discuss heartbreak, love, babies, and the intimacy that shapes us.Nadine Artemis is the author of Renegade Beauty and Holistic Dental Care and the creator of Living Libations, a pure and luxurious line of organic oral care, botanical beauty care, and medicinal elixirs often called the “holy grail” of wholesome skincare. Artemis is an innovative aromacologist, and her healing formulations and her concept of renegade beauty encourage effortlessness and inspire people to rethink conventional notions of wellness and beauty.This podcast is only made possible by the support of this community. Show you support by becoming paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com.3:26 An ecosystem of nurturing4:14 Beauty as a union8:21 Being valued & valuing yourself internally10:21 Investing in your “is-ness” to release control13:57 Womanhood, mothering, body knowledge, and changes in societal family norms20:35 Getting to the root of health issues24:53 Self-discovery, hormones, and mitochondrial health32:01 Circadian rhythm as the foundation of our biologyBehind Closed Doors Extended Interview includes:38:53 Skin, melanin, and the need for Vitamin D sufficiency41:50 Making time and space for rest43:09 Building resilience46:48 Carrying forward the faith in life and your relationship with yourself47:23 Love, heartbreak, and intimacyWork with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODConnect with Nadine ArtemisFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.I have spent a great deal of time thinking about and honestly, grappling with, the sex industry and today’s narratives around sexual liberation. It’s often marketed as glamorous and empowering for women, but I’ve found myself questioning who it actually serves, and at what cost.In today’s episode, I’m joined by Dr. Rebecca Whisnant, a professor of philosophy at the University of Dayton. We talk about feminism, what it really means, and how the word has been misunderstood, misused, and in many ways stripped of its integrity. Instead of being a movement to end all forms of oppression, feminism is now often co-opted to sell capitalistic and patriarchal ideas.We also explore the language we use around the sex industry, like the term sex work, and how it can obscure the realities of systems built on exploitation. Dr. Whisnant shares insight on how pornography and prostitution are connected to broader public health issues, especially for young people who are growing up in a culture shaped by these influences.Rebecca Whisnant is a professor of philosophy at the University of Dayton, where her research and teaching focus on ethics and feminist social theory. She co-edited the anthology Not For Sale: Feminists Resisting Prostitution and Pornography, and her recent articles include “Pornography, humiliation, and consent” and “But what about feminist porn?: Examining the work of Tristan Taormino.” Dr. Whisnant is vice president of the board of directors for Culture Reframed, a national nonprofit organization addressing pornography as the public health crisis of the digital age.This podcast is only made possible by the support of this community. Show you support by becoming paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com.3:57 Defining feminism5:38 Contradictions in the connotations of “feminism”8:51 Are sexuality and pornography empowerment or exploitation?13:17 How to critique the sex industry without shaming someone who is forced to work in it16:07 The social costs of sexual commodification20:44 Informed consent & choice: Is agency truly possible in the porn industry?25:06 The impact of porn on intimacy & relationships30:16 How porn dictates women’s experience and removes pleasure, safety, and enjoyment33:43 Sex robots and porn: how they avoid the human elements of relationship and connection and don’t solve lonelinessBehind Closed Doors Extended Interview includes:37:21 Hyper-capitalism, fascism, pornography, and the patriarchy are fodder for our loss of human decency42:03 The competing demands of sexual visibility and “liberation”45:14 How the sex industry exists because of men and their choices, not women and their choices48:43 Culture Reframed and the plethora of feminist literature that remains relevant and urgentWork with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODFree Practical Guide for Curious Minds: Demystifying Medical ResearchConnect with Dr. Rebecca WhisnantFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still help…– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friendIf your brand aligns with empowering women, let’s partner! Reach out at [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.This week’s guest is Klara Hascakova, an Oxford educated systems designer whose work helps women reimagine the structures of their lives so they can live, lead, and create from a place of inner truth.I first encountered Klara through her appearance on the podcast In My Non-Expert Opinion with Chelsea Riffe. What initially drew me in was the way she spoke with humor and openness about her approach to “gamifying” life. At first, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. The world feels so heavy, why would we turn it into a game? But something in her tone felt like a gentle invitation. Perhaps, I thought, we are somehow capable holding complexity while still making room in our lives for creativity and play. Given how emotionally heavy my work in reproductive health and doula care can be, her perspective felt like a refreshing palette cleanser, something that brought a sense of lightness and clarity.I reached out to Klara, curious to learn more about who she is and what she offers and discovered that she was in the final months of her first pregnancy. It felt kismet that we were able to record this conversation while she stood at the threshold of motherhood.We explore the ways in which our cultural systems, especially those related to health, productivity, and identity, often overlook the needs, rhythms, and realities of women. While this can be disheartening, Klara offers an imaginative path forward: one in which we use intuition and play to re-design the ways we care for ourselves and one another. Her work gently asks: What would it look like to build systems that nourish rather than deplete, ones that support wholeness rather than demand performance?This conversation is for anyone seeking a more humane and liberated way of being, especially those who live and work within systems not built with them in mind.This podcast is only made possible by the support of this community. Please show you support by becoming paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com.3:28 Not fitting within systems4:51 Inner work to counteract external harmful systems6:38 Pregnancy as a transformation into the sensual feminine8:26 The duality of the “mother” archetype10:11 Unlearning myths and allowing for unpredictable experiences12:18 Name patterns, numerology, sounds, and our energetic identities22:53 Numbers, integration, and energetic maintenance work29:41 How to be powerful and loving in systems that don’t love30:30 Intuitive knowing and self-understanding through name patterns32:11 We need connection, not self-fixing and technology36:15 Shedding inherited roles & family systemsPaid Extended Interview (Behind Closed Doors, our subscriber community) includes:40:27 Money name patterns & wealth beyond money41:54 Pleasure and presence in pregnancy and motherhood47:03 Perceiving ourselves as the magical beings we really areMOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODConnect with Klara & Book a SessionFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still help…– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friendIf your brand aligns with empowering women, let’s collaborate! Reach out at [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.In this episode, I’m joined by Ladybird Morgan and Sonya Dolan of Mettle Health, where we explore what it means to accompany others through dying, grief, and the tender work of being human.You might be wondering why I recorded an episode on death and grief, and how that fits into Motherlands, which began as a resource for the families I support through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.What I’ve slowly come to realize is that Motherlands has grown into a deeper calling to hold honest, sometimes uncomfortable, conversations on caregiving as a personal, collective, and ecological practice.As someone who has walked closely with death in my own life, I no longer want to meet it with fear. And the more I talk about it, the more I realize it’s something we need to discuss openly as a community. I know this episode might not be the easiest one to press play on. But sometimes the conversations we avoid are the ones we need the most. Because the truth is, death touches all of us. It doesn’t wait for the right moment.It doesn’t ask permission. It arrives suddenly, messy, and it changes everything.We talk about how to show up for someone in deep loss.How to comfort them, without trying to fix anything; by being a loving presence.How to support children in understanding what death means.How to be with people whose pain might look different than yours.These are the life skills that aren’t really taught but all of us will need.Sonya’s path into hospice and palliative care began with personal loss, shaped further by her own experience as a breast cancer survivor. With a background in hospice administration, she co-founded Mettle Health alongside BJ Miller, and brings a rare, heart-forward perspective on caregiving both professionally and personally.Ladybird is a nurse, social worker, and end of life care practitioner with over two decades of experience supporting people through profound life transitions. She’s worked with organizations like Mettle Health, Doctors Without Borders, Zen Hospice Project, and co-founded The Humane Prison Hospice Project. Her work is rooted in contemplative practice, psychedelic care, and deep presence.This podcast is only made possible by the support of this community. Please show you support by becoming paid subscriber at keelysemler.substack.com.3:22 The gap areas in end-of-life care10:25 Seeing people’s wholeness, both inside and outside of systems14:34 How to offer support to someone dealing with health issues21:16 Talking to children about death31:39 Cultural and moral understanding of death and its impact on care36:12 Embracing vs fearing or avoiding deathBehind Closed Doors Extended Interview includes:43:57 Creating space for conversations around suffering and pain50:05 How to allow for end-of-life conversations with clinicians and families56:15 Finding ways to connect through terminal illness1:01:18 Keeping a loved one alive after their deathWork with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Online Education Program20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODFree Practical Guide for Curious Minds: Demystifying Medical ResearchConnect with Sonya & LadybirdMETTLE HEALTHFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions help me to keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still help…– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friendIf your brand aligns with empowering women, let’s collaborate! Reach out at [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.This week, I’m honored to share a conversation I had with Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, an evolutionary anthropologist and primatologist whose work has powerfully shifted the way we understand what it means to be human.Sarah invites us to look at the myths surrounding maternal instinct and what society deems "natural” and to imagine something more truthful and compassionate. We explore the lives of our hunter-gatherer ancestors, not as some primitive past, but as a mirror that reflects what we still need today, that is…connection, cooperation, and shared care.In this episode, we talk about the vital role of alloparents, those who care for children that aren’t their own. These relationships, Sarah reminds us, are not exceptions but part of an ancient, resilient design that helped our species survive.The insights she offers personally moved me deeply, like adoptive mothers produce the same love-anchored hormones as biological ones, and that today’s girls are reaching puberty far earlier than ever before, raising questions that touch both science and the heart of our culture.This conversation is a gentle unraveling of assumptions and a return to what’s most human in all of us. Perhaps the most striking takeaway from this discussion was that Sarah explains there was a time when only 12,000 breeding humans walked the Earth. Life was unimaginably harsh yet from that period of immense hardship, came our greatest strength as a species: flexibility, cooperation, and care. Her observations as a primatologist and anthropologist made me realize that the challenges we face today aren’t modern at all. And the solutions may not be found in using technology, but rather, in re-centering the social structures that have always sustained us as human beings.Sarah’s warmth, intellect, and fierce curiosity shine through every word she shares. Her work is a reminder that if we want families to thrive, then we really need support to be front and center within our culture. This conversation left me feeling more hopeful than I’ve felt in a long time… and I’m deeply grateful to share it with you here.*Correction: In the interview, Sarah Hrdy would like to clarify two points. First, the Pleistocene epoch is now widely recognized to have begun approximately 2.6 million years ago, not 1.8 million years ago as stated. Second, in reference to matrilineal societies, the correct figure is that approximately 15 percent of known societies worldwide have been matrilineal, not 15 individual societies. These matrilineal societies were also commonly matrilocal first, with women remaining in or near their natal communities.Sarah Blaffer Hrdy is an anthropologist and primatologist whose work has significantly influenced evolutionary psychology and maternal behavior. Her research on primate behavior and human evolution has provided profound insights into the biological and social underpinnings of maternal instincts, gender roles, and reproductive strategies. Hrdy’s theories have challenged traditional views and opened new avenues for understanding human behavior from an evolutionary standpoint. You can listen to Sarah’s TED Talk: Are we still human if robots help raise our babies?This podcast is only made possible by the support of this community. Becoming a paid subscriber helps me continue producing meaningful conversations. Join at keelysemler.substack.com.2:32 Maternal instinct and environmental factors6:53 Alloparenting and networks14:34 The costs and difficulty of birth, from apes to humans23:18 Bonding for humans versus animals26:38 Placentas: to eat or not to eat?31:24 Impact of environment on the autonomic nervous system and fertility rates35:19 The organizational structures that matrilineal and patrilineal societies create41:22 The costly nature of human brain development44:46 From a collective cmmunity of civic-mindedness to a community of domineering50:05 Citrona farms55:10 Leisure, play, and creativity in primates57:22 Men are fully capable of caring for babies safely and independently, and often do.Work with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Independent Study in Reproductive Health20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODFree Practical Guide for Curious Minds: Demystifying Medical ResearchConnect with Sarah HrdyBuy One of Sarah’s BooksFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions cover editing, production, and help me keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? You can still help…– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friendIf your brand aligns with empowering women, let’s collaborate! Reach out at [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.So many of us grew up learning how to take care of everyone but ourselves. We were taught to be helpful, selfless, polite… “good girls”. But no one ever pulled us aside to ask, “What brings you joy? What makes you feel good in your body and in your spirit?”This episode with Kiana Reeves is an invitation to pause and ask those questions.Because here’s the truth: pleasure isn’t a luxury. It’s not just about sex (though yes we’re going there too). Pleasure is about knowing yourself, your needs, boundaries and desires and refusing to apologize for them.If you’re new, thank you for being here. Motherlands is a space for women finding their way through life’s many thresholds. It’s about exploring what it means to take care of ourselves, to mother ourselves, even if it has nothing to do with becoming a mother, and everything to do with growing into who we’re meant to be.In this episode, we unpack the stories we’ve inherited about womanhood and sex and why so many men seem lost right now. We take a look at patriarchy’s impact on all of us and what that means for intimacy in modern culture. We talk about reclaiming pleasure, power, and sense of self. Big questions, real talk, zero judgment… just an honest conversation between women.In the bonus episode, I’ll share some old beliefs I’ve carried about who gets to feel good, to rest, and to simply enjoy life… and how I’m learning to release them. Maybe you’ll hear something that feels familiar. And maybe it’s time we both let a few things go together.Kiana Reeves has supported women in coming home to themselves through love, touch, healing, and deep connection. Her work blends heart, body, and spirit, offering down to earth, holistic support around sex, relationships, intimacy, and self trust. Kiana creates spaces where women can reconnect with their bodies, reclaim pleasure, and feel safe in their own skin. She’s trained as a Somatic Sex Educator, Sexological Bodyworker, Intimacy and Embodiment Teacher, Pelvic Health Practitioner, Full Spectrum Doula and she’s also a mama to two boys.This podcast is made possible by the support of this community. If the work speaks to you and you’re able, becoming a paid subscriber helps me keep going and gives you access to Behind Closed Doors, our private space for deeper, more honest conversations. You can join at keelysemler.substack.com.4:19 Myths about pleasure8:06 Pleasure, self-understanding, and safety12:29 Sensation is the language of the body15:53 Cultural conditioning, collective inheritance, and capitalized pleasure18:37 Pleasure needs support, and motherhood is not resourced23:05 Gendered differences in nervous systems and socialization28:27 Tracing the roots of the patriarchy: who and what is mine?34:29 Routine vs intentional intimacy39:40 Sex vs pleasure education42:07 Media and porn’s influence on how we perceive pleasure and relationships50:18 Finding pleasure after sexual assault54:26 Where to find Kiana’s work55:08 Letting go of the idea that only “good girls” deserve pleasure59:04 Communication and vulnerability1:00:29 Creative environments and lifestyles conducive with rest and pleasureWork with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Independent Study in Reproductive Health20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODFree Practical Guide for Curious Minds: Demystifying Medical ResearchConnect with KianaLearn with KianaFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastYour support keeps The Motherlands alive. Paid subscriptions cover editing, production, and help me keep doing this work full-time, offering real support to women through life’s biggest moments.Can’t subscribe right now? No worries! You can still help by:– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friendIf your brand aligns with empowering women, let’s collaborate! Reach out at [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.Today we are joined by Kerrilynn Pamer, Founder of CAP Beauty, a compassionate humanitarian and activist, and evocative writer behind the Substack Coyote Swan.If you’re new, welcome and thank you for being here. Motherlands is a space for women navigating life’s many thresholds. It’s a place to explore the practice of mothering oneself, in ways that may have nothing to do with becoming a mother, yet everything to do with nurturing who we are becoming.In this deeply moving conversation, Kerrilynn shares her personal journey through conception, loss, and the unexpected path that followed.Kerrilynn speaks with striking vulnerability about conception, the heartbreak of two attempted adoptions, and what it means to be childless in a world that rarely makes space for or gives voice to that lived experience. With softness and grace, she draws us into a quiet, often unseen landscape of womanhood that isn’t defined by motherhood, yet is deeply shaped by the longing for it.We explore the emotional terrain so many women walk in silence; the nuance between being childless and childfree, the impermanence woven into every stage of a woman’s life, and the aching truth that life waits for no one. And still, even in the unexpected places we never imagined ourselves landing, beauty abounds.As women, I believe we are being called to hold other women’s experiences with deeper reverence and become more fluent in tender conversations… to sit with stories that don’t resolve easily, and to show up not with solutions, but with loving presence. When we listen, without needing to fix, we create room for connection and deeper understanding. In the bonus episode, we explore cultural movements like trad wives and MAHA, as well as chat about current tv shows, movies and other musings that are lighting us up right now.This conversation is unfiltered and deeply honest… the kind that reminds us we’re never truly alone. Kerrilynn’s story broadens the lens on reproductive health and identity, offering space for the complexities we don’t often name. She reminds us that there are many ways to carry love, loss, and meaning and that every path deserves to be seen, heard and held.Kerrilynn Pamer is the founder and CEO of CAP Beauty, which she opened in the West Village in 2015. With a background in interior design and a career that began at Martha Stewart Living, she has spent over two decades exploring the intersection of beauty, critical thinking, and self-care. Kerrilynn is deeply passionate about the complexities of this relationship, which continues to shape her work at CAP Beauty.This podcast is made possible by the support of listeners like you. I truly couldn’t continue this work without your help. If you believe in empowering and educating women and families through their reproductive journeys, I’d love for you to join our community as a paid subscriber. As a member, you'll get exclusive access to Behind Closed Doors, our private space where we go deeper into the unseen layers of what it means to be a woman. Join us keelysemler.substack.com.5:12 The difference between childfree vs childless8:44 Raising awareness & improving access to fertility options13:27 Thoughts on adoption1730 Navigating silent comparisons and isolation22:52 The toxicity and privilege behind “spiritual solutions”29:28 How fertility journey impacts relationship with partner30:47 Redirection of energy & purpose35:29 Family outside the traditional structure36:39 How to respond and support someone else’s grief37:24 Rituals for self nourishment & healing40:45 Art & hobbies that feel like a breath of fresh air45:01 Investigating trad wife movement & MAHAWork with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Independent Study in Reproductive Health20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODFree Practical Guide for Curious Minds: Demystifying Medical ResearchConnect with Kerrilynn PamerCAP BEAUTYCoyote Swan on SubstackFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastSupport The Motherlands Podcast & Reproductive Health AdvocacyYour support keeps The Motherlands Podcast alive. Paid subscriptions help cover the cost of editing and production, and sustain my full-time work as a reproductive health educator and mentor. With your help, I can continue offering meaningful resources to women navigating life’s most tender thresholds.If a paid subscription isn’t possible right now, there are still beautiful ways to support this work:– Leave a review on Apple Podcasts– Subscribe to Motherlands on Substack– Follow us on YouTube– Share an episode with a friendIf your brand shares our mission to empower women and families, we’d love to collaborate. Get in touch [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.If you're exploring fertility options or know someone who is, this episode is a must listen.This week, we're joined by Kallie Fell, MS, BSN, RN, Executive Director of the Center for Bioethics and Culture Network to unpack Big Fertility. Kallie brings a wealth of experience as a perinatal nurse, shedding light on the overlooked aspects of assisted reproductive technologies (ART).In our conversation, we delve into the lack of regulation and transparency in the fertility industry, the ethical concerns surrounding egg freezing, IVF and surrogacy, and the pressing need for a restorative, preventive approach to reproductive health. Kallie emphasizes that true healthcare means addressing the root causes of infertility, not just offering “high-tech solutions” that are not accessible to everyone.This episode challenges us to rethink our approach to reproductive health and consider the human rights implications of ART. It's a conversation that calls for greater accountability in how we support individuals and families on their fertility journeys.This episode compliments my latest piece on how our over reliance on technology short circuits embodied knowledge and what that means for our fertility and wellbeing. Spoiler: reconnecting with our bodies is a public health necessity.If you're navigating fertility decisions or advocating for better healthcare practices, please share this episode. Let's continue to have these nuanced conversations and work towards a more informed and ethical approach to reproductive health.To my clients who’ve undergone IVF this message is for you:I deeply appreciate the trust you’ve placed in me as your doula and educator, and I honor the experiences you’ve lived through. This episode is shared with full respect and compassion for your journey. At the same time, many individuals and families deserve greater transparency and equity when accessing assisted reproductive technology. From a public health and human rights perspective, everyone pursuing IVF deserves dignity, autonomy, and clear information.Kallie Fell started her career in reproductive science at Vanderbilt’s OBGYN department, after earning her Master’s in Science from Purdue with an emphasis in Reproductive Physiology and Molecular Biology. While researching endometriosis and preterm birth, she pursued her nursing degree, driven by a desire to support women directly as a perinatal nurse. Kallie began volunteering at the Center for Bioethics and Culture in 2018 and over the next few years, she progressed from volunteer writer to Research Associate and today leads the organization as its Executive Director. Unlock an exclusive, deep-dive conversation with Kallie Fell available only to Behind Closed Doors subscribers. We explore ectogenesis (artificial wombs) and its emotional and physical implications when a mother’s body is separated from her baby. As a subscriber, you’ll also get access to bonus content, including my personal reflections as a women’s health educator, mentor, and doula; designed to enrich your understanding and connection to your body and your choices.By subscribing, you're directly supporting independent storytelling and sustaining meaningful public‑health dialogue. You’ll help cover production costs and ensure these essential conversations continue. If you value honest storytelling and perspectives that often go unheard, join our community at keelysemler.substack.com.4:43 Further education and conversations needed around fertility11:03 Egg freezing: limitations, process, attrition, and selling hope15:51 Ethical implications of employer egg-freezing benefits17:19 The cost of freezing eggs19:14 Egg count, reproductive years, and hormones22:49 Long-term impacts of IVF medications24:55 Preimplantation genetic testing and eugenics28:06 What transparency do we owe children born via ART?29:37 Surrogacy: contracts, consent, commercialization & costs36:01 Surrogacy is inherent risk & commodification37:51 How do we come to terms with the cost on surrogate mothers and babies?40:21 The exacerbation of the class divide through eugenics41:51 Unused embryos and parental rights43:58 Should surrogacy have age limits?44:49 Transparency and risk of embryo storage and use45:45 Ectogenesis, artificial wombs, and the risk of “harvesting” life49:18 What does artificial birth mean for embodiment, connection, and parenthood?Work with KeelyMOTHERLANDS: Independent Study in Reproductive Health20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODFree Support Meetings for Caregivers and DoulasJoin our community to connect, reflect, and replenish. Sign up hereFree Group Meetings for New or Expecting ParentsPrepare for early parenthood and build strong support systems. Register hereFall 2025 Women's Retreat in CaliforniaExperience a small, intimate gathering focused on deep rest, nourishment, and connection in the heart of nature. Join the waitlistConnect with Kallie FellConnect with the Center of Bioethics and Culture NetworkFollow our Host, Keely SemlerFollow The Motherlands PodcastSupport The Motherlands Podcast & Reproductive Health AdvocacyYour paid subscription helps sustain The Motherlands Podcast by covering editing, production, and supports my full-time work as a doula, educator, and mentor. This enables me to continue offering valuable resources to families everywhere.Can't subscribe right now? You can still help by:Leaving a review on AppleSubscribing to the Motherlands SubstackFollowing us on YouTubeSharing the podcast with friends or familyYour support strengthens our community. Thank you for being here.Partner with UsIf you're part of a brand or organization that shares our mission to empower women, families, caregiving, and maternal wellness, we'd love to collaborate. We’re open to partnerships, sponsorships, and creative projects with aligned values. Interested? Email [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.This week I’m thrilled to be joined by Taylor Mckay Smith, a mother, model, and doula, for a powerful conversation about beauty, resilience, and reclaiming the narrative of womanhood.In this extended conversation, Taylor reflects on how her experiences in modeling and motherhood have reshaped her understanding of beauty. She candidly discusses the pressures of the fashion industry's external gaze, sharing that her first modeling job was for a wrinkle campaign at just 15 years old. We also explore how social media influences cultural expectations around beauty and self-worth, and the intentional ways Taylor protects her well-being online.Taylor reflects on the lessons she’s carried forward from her own upbringing, and what she’s chosen to unlearn. She also opens up about her long journey to receiving an endometriosis diagnosis; the struggle to be heard, the relief of being believed, and the healing path she’s found since.This is a tender conversation about redefining beauty, trusting your inner wisdom, and standing firmly in your truth.Taylor McKay Smith is a Canadian model and photographer. She is also a trained birth doula, wellness counselor and passionate women’s health advocate. Based in Los Angeles, she cherishes time in nature with her husband and children.Taylor has spoken at events like the Path to Parenthood Summit on body image during pregnancy and postpartum, and co-hosted Elevate Women’s Health Pregnancy Roundtable. She recently co-created Haven for Moms, a pop-up sanctuary supporting mothers affected by the LA wildfires.Taylor is also the co-host of The Mother Circle podcast, launching soon. Across all her work, Taylor remains dedicated to redefining how we support, see, and celebrate women and mothers.Join us for an extended, intimate conversation with Taylor McKay Smith available exclusively to Behind Closed Doors subscribers where Taylor shares candid insights into her journey, offering a deeper look at the experiences and lessons that have shaped her path. Subscribers also receive access to additional content, including personal reflections from me as a women’s health educator, mentor, and doula.Your subscription supports the heart of this work, covering production costs and helping sustain meaningful, independent content for a growing community. If you value honest storytelling and perspectives that often go unheard, I invite you to join us at keelysemler.substack.com.6:10 The transformation of Taylor’s understanding of beauty11:03 Balancing the fashion industry’s external gaze with internal beauty13:54 Commenting on someone else’s body16:29 “Bouncing back”18:07 Discernment24:12 Protecting your well-being while engaging with social media26:05 Mom burnout28:09 Embracing and unlearning: Mothering is an inside job40:25 Surrendering control and befriending fear47:55 Identity and purpose after motherhood49:24 Haven for Moms55:05 Endometriosis: from diagnosis to treatment, mixing holistic and medical1:01:07 Motherlands and mothering is for everyoneMOTHERLANDS: Independent Study in Reproductive Health 20% off code MOTHERLANDSPODFree Support Meetings for Caregivers and DoulasJoin our community to connect, reflect, and replenish. Sign up hereFree Group Meetings for New or Expecting ParentsPrepare for early parenthood and build strong support systems. Register hereFall 2025 Women's Retreat in CaliforniaExperience a small, intimate gathering focused on deep rest, nourishment, and connection in the heart of nature. Spaces are limited—join the waitlistConnect with Taylor McKay SmithConnect with Taylor & The Mother Circle PodcastWomen’s Reproductive Health Training & MentorshipFollow our Host, Keely Semler on IGFollow Motherlands on IGYour paid subscription sustains The Motherlands Podcast, covering essential costs like editing and production. It directly supports my work as a full-time doula, educator, and mentor, enabling me to continue offering valuable resources to families.If a paid subscription isn't feasible right now, you can still make a meaningful impact by:Leaving a review on AppleSubscribing to the Motherlands SubstackFollowing us on YouTubeSharing the podcast with others. Every bit of support matters. Thank you for being part of this community; your presence truly means the world.Partnership & Collaboration OpportunitiesBring your brand to life on The Motherlands Podcast. We welcome partnerships, collaborations, and advertising opportunities that align with our mission to support, uplift, and empower women and families, as well as celebrate the art of mothering and caregiving. Let’s connect and explore how we can work together. Email [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.If you know a girl coming of age right now, this is a critical conversation to listen to.This week’s guest is Brook Urick, a former publicist and sugar baby at the controversial dating website Seeking Arrangement (now Seeking) and author of the memoir Wink, wink, nudge, nudge: sexual exploits and secrets from inside a sugar daddy website.Seeking Arrangement intentionally branded itself as a sugar dating platform, promoting the illusion of empowered, mutually beneficial relationships. But behind the gloss of luxury lies a troubling history: the site has been repeatedly cited in reports of sex trafficking, coercion, and the exploitation of minors. In this episode, Brook pulls back the curtain on the transactional nature of modern intimacy where desire is monetized, and consent becomes a performance shaped by power, money, and survival.We explore the blurred lines of emotional labor, complicity, and the cultural script that tells women they can trade vulnerability for validation. Brook shares personal experiences from her years as a sugar baby and insider in the industry; stories that illuminate the cost of being seen as desirable yet disposable.This episode is a powerful listen for anyone interested in thinking about modern dating, sexual agency and the commodification of connection within our culture. Especially if you know a teenage girl or young woman navigating her sense of worth in today’s culture, this conversation is essential.Together, we ask the questions our culture is too afraid to ask,Can intimacy be authentic when it's bought?What does it mean to say “yes” when your “no” won’t be heard?Where does empowerment end and exploitation begin?Dow does capitalism shape our most personal relationships?The final 15-30 minutes of this interview are available in our extended episode, exclusively for Behind Closed Doors subscribers. This is a slower, more intimate space where guests speak with honesty, vulnerability, and courage about the layers that often go unseen.Paid subscribers also receive bonus content, including my personal reflections as a women’s health educator, mentor, and doula. If you value thoughtful dialogue and honest storytelling that rarely makes it into mainstream conversations, I invite you to join us at keelysemler.substack.com.Your subscription supports the heart of this work, covering the costs of production, editing, and helping sustain meaningful, independent content for a growing community.6:06 Seeking Arrangements and their history of illegality7:53 What are sugar babies and sugar daddies?9:55 Sex trafficking15:39 What are sugar daddies seeking?18:02 Why do sugar babies join?20:16 The perils of internet residue21:55 Book excerpts: income, consent, and how those in power protect abusers28:47 The construction of “data” and “analytics” for company gain and publicity37:25 Can the commodification of intimacy ever be ethical?39:39 Intimacy, love, pleasure, and sex: the gender differences41:37 How technology, work, and casual sex come in the way of pleasure, fertility, and intimacy46:01 We have all been lied to by the hierarchy49:08 The end of the age of celebrity55:41 Representation of sex work in media57:56 OnlyFans and sex content creation1:02:32 Associating after the dissociation caused by sex work**Community Offerings**** 20% off MOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern Woman. Code - MOTHERLANDSPOD* Free support meeting for caregivers and doulas — a space to connect, reflect, and replenish together. Sign up.* Free group meeting for new or expecting parents, preparing for early parenthood and building strong support systems. Sign up.* This fall, I’ll be hosting a women’s retreat in California. A small, intimate gathering focused on deep rest, nourishment, and connection in the heart of nature. We’ll share space without the pressure of a packed itinerary, with plenty of room for solitude as well as meaningful moments in community. If you’d like to learn more, Join the waitlist.Connect with Brook Urick:Brook Urick's WebsiteBuy Her BookMOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern WomanWomen’s Reproductive Health Training & MentorshipFollow our Host, Keely Semler on IGFollow Motherlands on IGShow your SupportYour paid subscription helps sustain the show covering essential costs like editing and podcast production. It directly supports the work I do as a full-time doula, educator, and mentor, making it possible to keep offering valuable resources to families.Can’t become a paid subscriber right now? You can still make a big impact by leaving a review, subscribing to the Motherlands Substack, following us on YouTube, or simply sharing the podcast with others.Every bit of support matters. Thank you for being part of this community — your presence truly means the world.Partnership & Collaboration OpportunitiesBring your brand to life on The Motherlands Podcast. We welcome partnerships, collaborations, and advertising opportunities that align with our mission to support, uplift, and empower women and families, as well as celebrate the art of mothering and the ceremony of caregiving. If your values align with ours, we’d love to connect and explore how we can work together. Email [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.This week’s guest is Kate Granchelli, CEO and Founder of Modern Minders, a creative childcare and staffing agency. We explore the often overlooked value of professional childcare, examining how caregiving sits at the intersection of emotional labor, gender roles, and social inequity. It highlights the cultural and structural challenges caregivers face such as undervaluation, inconsistent expectations, and lack of legal protections while also emphasizing the emotional bonds and ethical tensions inherent to the intimacy found in domestic work.Even if you don’t have children or don’t plan to, this conversation still speaks to the cultural imperative of supporting the systems that nourish our children and future generations; systems that are already burdened with carrying far more than they should.Kate Granchelli brings years of experience as a trusted nanny for diplomats and high-profile families in Los Angeles and New York. Formerly the Director of Recruiting for a top LA agency, she now draws on her deep knowledge of private household staffing and her intuitive grasp of family dynamics to guide others in the childcare space. With degrees in Fine Arts and Education, and teaching certifications in both New York and California, Kate is known for her honesty, empathy, and strong sense of connection. She continues to mentor youth and advocate for the arts, staying rooted in the values that have guided her work from the start.This discussion underscores the urgent need to elevate caregiving as both a professional and profoundly human form of intelligent and intuitive labor.5:15 The stigma of childcare as “unskilled” work8:15 Connecting the caregiver and the family14:28 Orchestrating transitions into and out of caregiving relationships20:53 Transparency and safety checks for caregivers and families25:35 Kate’s experience as a nanny & navigating childcare agencies31:39 Resources and community when affordability is an issue with access to childcare38:01 Community, wealth, and dependence42:50 Balancing privacy and transparency52:45 Connect with Kate at Modern MindersThe final 15 minutes of this interview are available in our extended episode, exclusively for Behind Closed Doors subscribers. This is a slower, more intimate space where guests speak with honesty, vulnerability, and courage about the layers that often go unseen.Paid subscribers also receive bonus content, including my personal reflections as a women’s health educator, mentor, and doula. If you value thoughtful dialogue and honest storytelling that rarely makes it into mainstream conversations, I invite you to join us at keelysemler.substack.com.Your subscription supports the heart of this work, covering the costs of production, editing, and helping sustain meaningful, independent content for a growing community. **Community Offerings**** 20% off MOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern Woman. Code - MOTHERLANDSPOD* Free support meeting for caregivers and doulas — a space to connect, reflect, and replenish together. Sign up.* Free group meeting for new or expecting parents, preparing for early parenthood and building strong support systems. Sign up.* This fall, I’ll be hosting a women’s retreat in California. A small, intimate gathering focused on deep rest, nourishment, and connection in the heart of nature. We’ll share space without the pressure of a packed itinerary, with plenty of room for solitude as well as meaningful moments in community. If you’d like to learn more, Join the waitlist.Connect with Kate Granchelli:Mondern MindersIG - @ModernmindersMOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern WomanWomen’s Reproductive Health Training & MentorshipFollow our Host, Keely Semler on IGFollow Motherlands on IGShow your SupportYour paid subscription helps sustain the show covering essential costs like editing and podcast production. It directly supports the work I do as a full-time doula, educator, and mentor, making it possible to keep offering valuable resources to families.Can’t become a paid subscriber right now? You can still make a big impact by leaving a review, subscribing to the Motherlands Substack, following us on YouTube, or simply sharing the podcast with others.Every bit of support matters. Thank you for being part of this community — your presence truly means the world.Partnership & Collaboration OpportunitiesBring your brand to life on The Motherlands Podcast. We welcome partnerships, collaborations, and advertising opportunities that align with our mission to support, uplift, and empower women and families, as well as celebrate the art of mothering and the ceremony of caregiving. If your values align with ours, we’d love to connect and explore how we can work together. Email [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.In this episode, I sit down with Kacie Carter, owner of Honey Hi, to explore what nourishment really means; beyond food, beyond wellness trends, and deep into the heart of care. Together, we dive into how connection, community, and self-compassion shape true health, especially in the tender seasons of pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood.We speak about the pressures placed on women, the unrealistic ideals, the weight of expectation and how these narratives often leave mothers feeling unseen or unsupported. With warmth and curiosity, we look at how food can be a bridge between us, a source of healing, and a quiet act of love that binds families and communities.This conversation is an invitation to remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup. And tending to your own well-being is not a luxury it’s essential, especially when you're caring for others.6:45 Definitions and traditions of nourishment12:53 How health and wellness takes itself too seriously17:09 How motherhood shaped Kacie’s understanding of nourishment19:48 The impact of birth on personal identity22:25 The societal ideology of motherhood27:13 Kacie’s birth story: hearing your voice amidst an opinionated world36:42 Surrendering control to the gray areas46:35 Self-advocacy and releasing your inner critic 52:44 Asking for help and relying on other mothers56:50 Finding Kacie’s work and Honey HiThe final 15-30 minutes are available in our extended episode exclusively to Behind Closed Doors, where we enter a slower, softer room; one where guests speak with vulnerability, honesty, and courage about the unseen layers of their lives: fertility, loss, longing, intimacy, identity, and everything in between. These extended interviews and bonus episodes are held with tenderness, and shared only with paid subscribers. If you value candid insights and thoughtful conversations that often go unspoken, subscribe at keelysemler.substack.com and join us in exploring the deeper dialogue.***Community Offerings**** 20% off MOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern Woman. Code - MOTHERLANDSPOD* Free support meeting for caregivers and doulas — a space to connect, reflect, and replenish together. Sign up.* Free group meeting for new or expecting parents, preparing for early parenthood and building strong support systems. Sign up.* Introducing the very first Motherlands Retreat! A serene escape on the California coast designed for self-nourishment, deep connection, and quiet restoration among women. Join the waitlist.Connect with Kacie Carter:Honey HiHONEYHI PANCAKE MIXIG - @Kaciecarter and HoneyhiMOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern WomanWomen’s Reproductive Health Training & MentorshipFollow Keely on IGFollow Motherlands on IGShow your SupportYour paid subscription helps sustain the show covering essential costs like editing and podcast production. It directly supports the work I do as a full-time doula, educator, and mentor, making it possible to keep offering valuable resources to families. Can’t become a paid subscriber right now? You can still make a big impact by leaving a review, subscribing to the Motherlands Substack, following us on YouTube, or simply sharing the podcast with others. Every bit of support matters. Thank you for being part of this community — your presence truly means the world.Partnership OpportunitiesThe Motherlands Podcast welcomes aligned partnerships, collaborations, and advertising opportunities that share our mission: to support, uplift, and empower women and families. If your values resonate with ours, we’d love to connect and explore ways to work together. Email [email protected] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.Our guest today is Mary Gonzalez, an herbalist, mother, doula, and the heart behind Sweet Mountaintop, a beautiful outdoor nature preschool nestled on her family’s farm. The entire program takes place outside, deeply rooted in the rhythms of the land and the changing seasons.Mary lives in such harmony with nature… It is truly felt in the way she mothers, gardens, and supports others. She’s a gentle, wise presence and an incredible resource for new and growing families. We explore the magic of play and creativity in early childhood, the deep nourishment that’s needed in the early parenthood, and what it means to truly care for others with intention and integrity.Photo by Kate Bowen2:25 The internal shifts of becoming a mother7:40 Resourcing your support system to best support you and the healing power of nature12:27 Sweet Mountaintop Nature Preschool18:43 How parents can discover their child’s learning and respect their boundaries25:32 Body autonomy and teaching it to children31:20 Technology and childrearing34:43 Outdoor play and integrating nature into daily life37:19 Herbs and nourishing the whole body, mind, and spirit45:07 Avoiding Google & social media52:07 Intimacy with your partner after birth & letting go of “doing it all”1:05:25 Self love and self careThe final 15-30 minutes are available in our extended episode exclusively to Behind Closed Doors, where we enter a slower, softer room; one where guests speak with vulnerability, honesty, and courage about the unseen layers of their lives: fertility, loss, longing, intimacy, identity, and everything in between. These extended interviews and bonus episodes are held with tenderness, and shared only with paid subscribers. If you value candid insights and thoughtful conversations that often go unspoken, subscribe at keelysemler.substack.com and join us in exploring the deeper dialogue.Connect with Mary:Sweet Mountaintop PreschoolPostpartum Doula Care & Herbal SupportA paid subscription helps support the show and covers essential costs, including my editor, family expenses, and podcast operations. Your support through a paid subscription helps us continue providing valuable resources to families. If you can’t subscribe, there are still other ways to support—leaving a review, subscribing to the Motherlands Substack, following us on YouTube, or sharing the podcast with others makes a significant difference. As a full-time doula, educator, and mentor, your support in any form helps me continue this meaningful work. Thank you for being part of this community; your presence means everything.MOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern WomanWomen’s Reproductive Health Training & MentorshipConnect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD.Follow Motherlands This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.I’m thrilled to introduce the next episode of the Motherlands Podcast with Katie Schubert from the Society of Women’s Health Research (SWHR). Katie is a trusted leader and consensus builder among women’s health stakeholders, and previously served as chief advocacy officer at the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine (SMFM). She is a previous president of Women in Government Relations, and in 2020 was named Advocate of the Year by Professional Women in Advocacy for her work on inclusion of pregnant and lactating populations in research. In 2024 Katie was named as one of the most influential people shaping policy in healthcare by the Washingtonian magazine.Please note: This is the free version of the episode. The final 15 minutes of this interview are behind a paywall. Paid subscribers will get an exclusive 15-minute extended interview with Katie, plus a bonus episode where I dive into global fertility trends, why family values seem to be fading, and how this will undoubtedly impact our communities and future generations. If you find this information helpful, please consider supporting this podcast with a paid subscription.A paid subscription helps support the show and covers essential costs, including my editor, family expenses, and podcast operations. Your support through a paid subscription helps us continue providing valuable resources to families. If you can’t subscribe, there are still other ways to support—leaving a review, subscribing to the Motherlands Substack, following us on YouTube, or sharing the podcast with others makes a significant difference. As a full-time doula, educator, and mentor, your support in any form helps me continue this meaningful work. Thank you for being part of this community; your presence means everything.Some of the main points from our conversation include:Gender Disparity in Healthcare Funding: Examining why women’s health research is underfunded compared to men’s health.Inclusivity in Women’s Health Research: Addressing the need for diverse representation in women’s health research, ensuring that it encompasses a wide range of populations.Power Imbalance in Healthcare Policy: Exploring the influence of pharmaceutical companies on healthcare policies.Transparency in Pharmaceutical and Government Collaboration: Investigating how the relationship between pharmaceutical companies and governmental health agencies can be made more transparent.Innovation vs. Patient Safety: Analyzing how clinical trials may overlook the biological differences between men and women.Policymakers’ Ethical Responsibility: Discussing the ethical obligations of policymakers Learn more about the Society of Women’s Health research.4:33 The mission of the Society of Women’s Health Research5:47 Why women’s health research is consistently deprioritized and underfunded10:35 Ethical implications of big pharma’s influence15:58 Pharmaceutical and federal funding21:21 The influence of private entity funding23:02 Getting involved with the Society of Women’s Health Research25:13 Turning momentum into a movement29:42 Menopause and perimenopause are stages of life, not a disease to be cured36:45 Thoughts on global fertility, family, and what we value as a country and global communityThe final 15-30 minutes are available in our extended episode exclusively to Behind Closed Doors, where we enter a slower, softer room; one where guests speak with vulnerability, honesty, and courage about the unseen layers of their lives: fertility, loss, longing, intimacy, identity, and everything in between. These extended interviews and bonus episodes are held with tenderness, and shared only with paid subscribers. If you value candid insights and thoughtful conversations that often go unspoken, subscribe at keelysemler.substack.com and join us in exploring the deeper dialogue.MOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern WomanWomen’s Reproductive Health Training & MentorshipConnect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD here.Connect with MOTHERLANDS here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.I'm excited to introduce our guest today, Wendy Kline, Ph.D, a recognized scholar in the history of medicine and women’s health. Wendy is the Chair in the History of Medicine at Purdue University and has earned international recognition for her groundbreaking work. She is the author of several influential books, including Exposed: The Hidden History of the Pelvic Exam and Coming Home: How Midwives Changed Birth. Wendy has also contributed to notable documentaries, such as Netflix's Sex, Explained and PBS’s The Eugenics Crusade.Please note: This is the free version of the episode. The final 15 minutes of this interview are behind a paywall. Paid subscribers will get an exclusive 15-minute extended interview with Wendy, along with a powerful 5-minute meditation to help you reconnect with your sacral energy center. Let the soothing binaural beats and nature sounds, captured from field studies around the world, guide you to a place of calm and balance—an ideal way to unwind and find peace amidst your day.A paid subscription helps support the show and covers essential costs, including my editor, family expenses, and podcast operations. Your support through a paid subscription helps us continue providing valuable resources to families. If you can’t subscribe, there are still other ways to support—leaving a review, subscribing to the Motherlands Substack, following us on YouTube, or sharing the podcast with others makes a significant difference. As a full-time doula, educator, and mentor, your support in any form helps me continue this meaningful work. Thank you for being part of this community; your presence means everything.In this episode, we explore crucial topics including:Power and Control: How medical practices have historically been shaped by power imbalances, particularly the objectification of women’s bodies.Gendered Assumptions and Patriarchy: The influence of gendered views and patriarchal structures in shaping medical training and women’s healthcare experiences.Autonomy and Consent: The challenges in truly obtaining consent within power imbalances.Cultural and Societal Influence: The role of cultural norms in shaping both medical practices and women's experiences with gynecological and reproductive health.Wendy’s insights provide a compassionate and thought-provoking perspective.You can purchase a copy of Wendy’s books here.Connect with Wendy Kline.5:15 How reproductive healthcare stigma allows for abuse of power14:06 How the history of pelvic exams reflects society’s views of women’s bodies and autonomy16:17 Can true medical informed consent be achieved within a medical system?19:38 Ethical challenges arising in obstetrics23:47 The impact of birth environment on health outcomes28:35 Defensive medicine and liability fear32:42 Honoring the work of the past to build the future of reproductive rights41:58 How obstetrician training impacts their approach to natural versus hospital birthsThe final 15-30 minutes are available in our extended episode exclusively to Behind Closed Doors, where we enter a slower, softer room; one where guests speak with vulnerability, honesty, and courage about the unseen layers of their lives: fertility, loss, longing, intimacy, identity, and everything in between. These extended interviews and bonus episodes are held with tenderness, and shared only with paid subscribers. If you value candid insights and thoughtful conversations that often go unspoken, subscribe at keelysemler.substack.com and join us in exploring the deeper dialogue.MOTHERLANDS: Interdisciplinary Health Education for the Modern WomanWomen’s Reproductive Health Training & MentorshipYou can connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD here or here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

In our culture, there’s a tendency to shy away from discussing loss. Conversations about death often feel absent, even though it is something that profoundly shapes who we are. Perhaps we avoid talking about it in the hope that by ignoring it we can somehow escape its reach. But the truth is, avoiding it doesn’t make it any less inevitable.We can honor death in much the same way we appreciate the changing of the seasons. Winter, for instance, is a time for reflection and stillness—a season of turning inward and embracing pause. So it feels fitting to share this conversation with my mother where we reflect on our experience as caregivers for my late brother, Derek.My brother was born with a rare genetic condition that ultimately claimed his life at seventeen, just a few months before he was set to graduate from high school. As one of his primary caregivers, he taught me the true value of life; that nothing is guaranteed, no matter how much our minds may try to convince us otherwise.A couple of weeks ago, my dear client Jackie Shea shared a quote. “You will lose everything. Your money, your power, your fame, your success, perhaps even your memories. Your looks will go. Loved ones will die. Your body will fall apart. Everything that seems permanent is impermanent and will be smashed. Experience will gradually, or not so gradually, strip away everything that it can strip away. Waking up means facing this reality with open eyes and no longer turning away. But right now we stand on holy and sacred ground, for that which will be lost has not yet been lost, and realising this is the key to unspeakable joy. Whoever or whatever is in your life right now has not yet been taken away from you. This may sound trivial, obvious, like nothing, but really it is the key to everything, the why and how and wherefore of existence. Impermanence has already rendered everything and everyone around you so deeply holy and significant and worthy of your heartbreaking gratitude. Loss has already transfigured your life into an altar"This conversation with my mom is perhaps the most tender one I have ever shared publicly. Grief has a way of disarming us, leaving us vulnerable. Being a caregiver to someone who is suffering offers an opportunity to look at life squarely in the eye; to acknowledge the incredible gift it is to simply take a deep breath or to marvel at the miracle of being able to walk on two legs. The holiday season can be especially difficult for those who have lost a loved one. I see you, and I’m holding you in this moment. I hope this conversation brings you some comfort and reminds you that you are not alone.Lastly, there are some exciting things coming in the new year… MOTHERLANDS 2.0 will be released into the world in just a few weeks.For now visit our new website, and join the waitlist to be the first to know about our new offerings!4:29 Derek’s diagnosis and navigating early treatment12:55 Finding focus and creative solutions despite the constant fear14:34 The loneliness of an experience not many have experienced21:22 Navigating places and people that don’t prioritize accessibility27:16 Finding and building community28:24 Resources in schools and transportation for students with special needs33:27 When a child with special needs ages out of the medical system35:01 The expenses that come with caring for a family member with a disability46:37 The joys of Derek’s journey & the kindness of others56:01 Remembering and finding a meaningful way forward after loss1:01:30 How childrearing has evolved1:06:46 The transition into an empty nest1:08:47 Conversation as a cornerstone of parenting1:12:59 How spirituality, love, and compassion take you through difficult times1:15:06 Beauty now and how caregiving translated into doula work for Keely1:21:18 Debbie’s background in dance and the influence of movement1:23:42 Parting wisdomThank you for being here. Please remember to like and leave a review as this makes it easier for people to find us.WE ARE MOTHERLANDSShow your support by following MOTHERLANDS on Instagram.Connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD or visit her website.If you happen to know someone that works with a brand or company that shares a similar ethos of providing deeper and more comprehensive care to women and mothers and who might be open to supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast, we would love to chat. You can email [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

On the last episode of MOTHERLANDS with Paula Mallis, you may recall us talking about the philosophy of space and how we occupy physical and emotional space. In this episode I am very excited to be sharing the conversation I had with Cassandra Ogier and her enlivening practice with horses called The Reflective Horse. Cassandra supports people by providing opportunities to encounter horses in a strikingly unique way. I met Cassandra a number of years ago and was able to experience her teaching firsthand. It is difficult to describe just how meaningful her work is, but I will try my best to articulate it.We discuss how fear is an emotion that is more often derived from our thoughts but is not necessarily supported by our intuition. While fear can be useful at times, it can also disrupt or hinder our inner knowing. As an example Cassandra explains the dynamic within a herd of horses and how the leading mare is often a female that has given birth. She is responsible for guiding and directing the herd, particularly when there is danger such as a predator approaching. This example highlights a healthy and intuitive response from the horses. When there is no immediate threat to the herd the leading mare can often be found exploring independently, on the periphery.The Reflective Horse allows us to examine our own nature. When I think back to my private session with Cassandra, I remember how I practiced my approaching a horse with calm, inner confidence and how leading with this energy subsequently “moved” the horse. I learned that I would not receive the desired response from the horse if I appeared sheepish or unsure. My thoughts essentially were getting in between me and the horse. It made me wonder how many times a day I disconnect from my inner nature (my intuition) and how this impacts my ability to move and make decisions with clarity.Cassandra shares her experience of becoming a mother to three sons, what it was like to navigate early motherhood and how she learned how to trust and allow her children to develop their own sense of boundaries through exploration.Even if you have no interest in horses, there is still something to learn here… As human beings we are always in direct communication with Mother Nature. To be brave enough to look at the mirror that Mother Nature provides can be both life affirming and life giving. Cassandra and I are toying around with the idea of cohosting a one day retreat in Malibu for women. If this interests you, please leave us your email and we will send updates as they become available.To learn more about Cassandra’s practice, you can visit her website or follow the Reflective Horse.3:47 Cassandra’s background10:00 Letting children develop their own boundaries14:44 Choosing how to give birth17:36 Navigating feelings of loss of self (the “death” of being a Maiden) after birth23:36 Making choices that feel right, not just what “should” be done27:04 What we can learn from horses about taking up space and energetic presence37:22 The neutral energy of the female lead mare39:35 Fear is a thought, not your intuition41:50 Grounding and realizing you won’t have an insight through thinking more44:15 Facing the idea of letting go and the pace of changeThank you for being here. Please remember to like and leave a review as this makes it easier for people to find us!Show your support by following MOTHERLANDS on Instagram.You are also welcome to connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD or by visiting her website.If you happen to know someone that works with a brand or company that shares a similar ethos of providing deeper and more comprehensive care to women and mothers and who might be open to supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast, we would love to chat. You can email [email protected] code MOTHERLANDS to receive 20% off your first order of Perelel Vitamins. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

I had the pleasure of sitting down with Paula Mallis at her ranch in Ojai, California where we delve into conversation on the spiritual process of cycles (or circles) and being in communion with nature. As you tune in, you may hear us sipping tea or a bird chirping overhead in the old oak trees. This episode feels special as were fully immersed in the natural soundscape of her property.Paula explains that circles create movement, as there is no definitive beginning or end. In her work as a circle facilitator, she takes participants through a four part process: Invitation: The initiation into a new perspective or way of being.Purification: The process of clearing out anything that no longer serves you.Integration: Observing how things feel and a chance to reconfigure, as you bring more awareness into this process.Completion: The death of a cycle; experiencing a sense of resolution and coming to your own conclusion.Paula believes that these four steps are the pillars of a cycle and offer us the opportunity of healing. We talk about how people often can get stuck in one of the steps. For example, some people spend their whole lives in an invitation. Or how someone can become addicted to fixing oneself in the purification process. Paula describes that it is also possible to experience two steps, for example an invitation and a completion, at the same time. The circle is constantly moving and it is up to the individual to go deeper in understanding one’s process in order to take responsibility.She also shares about her recent reconnection with horses and how being in the company of horses has given her the chance to unlearn that which no longer serves her. What is really striking to me is Paula’s ability to explain the importance of making self honoring choices, and how we cannot truly be in service to others if we do not make decisions that are rooted in our wellbeing.Since MOTHERLANDS is a podcast that honors the Mother in her infinite forms, I ask Paula about her experience of becoming a mother and how her perspective of motherhood has shifted over time.This photograph of Paula was taken on medium format film by Matt Bockal.If you are interested in learning more about Paula, please visit her website. 2:17 The power of silence and reconnecting with nature10:02 Paula’s journey with horses12:28 Dealing with childhood shame and unlearning your way through resistance18:52 Paula’s evolution of understanding motherhood20:29 The connection between birth work, cycles, and understanding death23:16 Getting stuck in a cycle of purification25:26 The energy of control27:12 Invitations in Paula’s life28:13 Permission30:19 Integration + self-honoring choices32:30 birth work and motherhood38:24 Reclaiming your space and honoring the space betweenThank you for being here. Please remember to like and leave a review as this makes it easier for people to find us.Use code MOTHERLANDS to receive 20% off your first order of Perelel Vitamins.If you happen to know someone that works with a brand or company that shares a similar ethos of providing deeper and more comprehensive care to women and mothers and who might be open to supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast, we would love to chat! You can email [email protected] can connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD here or by visiting her website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

There comes a point when every person gets to decide what they want to share about their kids on the internet. I asked my client Jackie Shea if she would be willing to speak about her recent change of heart in how she publicly shares information about her children. I would like to preface by saying that this is a conversation that provides a perspective of a parent who is simply learning how to navigate the complexities of being a new mother. This is not to shame or guilt anyone into doing anything they do not want to do. As Jackie so eloquently says, “all roads lead to Rome” - an expression I also use with my clients as they approach their birth. Simply put, there is no one size fits all and to each her own. However, it is worth investigating how social media plays a role in how we show up in the world and how our children may consequently be affected by our choices. In this conversation we discuss sharenting, or the practice of parents sharing information about their children online often through platforms of social media for public consumption. If you would like to read more about the possible long term implications of sharenting, you can do so here and here. In addition to discussing social media and early parenthood, Jackie speaks candidly about finding time for self care and connection with her partner.To learn more about Jackie you can connect with her via her website or on instagram.1:43 How family dynamics change with each birth5:01 ‘Mom guilt’ and choosing to live life without it9:20 Affirmations and identity shifts12:12 The importance of building community after birth14:04 Post-birth planning and the evolving relationship with your partner17:44 Non-negotiables of self-care22:42 Navigating time, money, and the mommy tax24:28 Jackie’s impetus behind deciding not to share her children’s photos online28:52 Giving your child agency, respect, and privacy32:11 Balancing protection of privacy with trying not to control it36:13 Motherhood is a day at a time journeyThank you for being here. If you enjoy this episode, please remember to like and leave a review as this makes it easier for people to find us.Use code MOTHERLANDS to recieve 20% off your first order of Perelel Vitamins.If you happen to know someone that works with a brand or company that shares a similar ethos of providing deeper and more comprehensive care to women and mothers and who might be open to supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast, I’d love to chat! You can email me [email protected] can connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD here or by visiting her website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

While many people move through life with a conscious need to differentiate themselves from their chosen career, Tema Mercado offers a refreshing and sincere perspective… Which is that the work she does as a midwife is inextricably woven into all facets of her life but most importantly, her family. She talks about how supportive her husband is to her and their children, how he draws her a bath after she returns home from a long birth or leaves the house with her kids so that she can catch her breath in silence.She shares about the harsh reality of being an indigenous midwife, and how her non-white clients are more likely to have CPS called on them or be subjected to toxicology screenings. There are extra precautions in order to protect her clients that Tema takes very seriously. Futhermore, Tema explains that her licensure as a midwife extends a level of safety and protection to her community.There is something incredibly beautiful and honest about Tema’s process in building and resourcing herself with support so that she can fully show up for her clients and her community. It makes me reflect on my own practice as an educator, doula and midwife assistant, and how I too could build a deeper safety net of support. She brings forth the sacredness of birthwork in such an authentic way that it brought tears to my eyes. How she orients her life to the higher calling of serving families is striking. What I realized in our conversation together is how meaningful it is to be surrounded by a community (in real life) that uplifts each community member. While this isn’t a groundbreaking concept, it does feel as though community seems harder to find.While Tema only takes on a small number of families per year, you can find birth related resources on her website and also follow her on instagram as she shares personal stories and insights into community based midwifery care.3:10 Tema’s evolving midwifery practice5:50 Differences between birth practices in Mexico and the USA11:40 Honoring the Indigenous roots of birth practices like Rebozo20:40 Navigating the medical industrial complex24:26 Meeting families where they are without assumptions26:01 A midwife is not a magician - balancing expectations, transparency, and boundaries28:57 Building strong relationships on informed consent and joint decision-making31:28 Self-care rituals36:10 Letting the outside life enrich midwifery life and vice versa42:17 How to find Tema and her workTHANK YOU again for being here. If you enjoy this episode, please remember to like and leave a review as this makes it easier for people to find us.If you happen to know someone that works with a brand or company that shares a similar ethos of providing deeper and more comprehensive care to women and mothers and who might be open to supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast, I’d love to chat! You can email me [email protected] can connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD here or by visiting her website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

A few years ago I met Elizabeth at her cozy chic spa in Topanga called Honest Rituals. I was looking for a practitioner that could help me relieve jaw tension as I suffer from TMJ (anyone else?). I had heard that she offered a facial treatment that incorporates massage which sounded intriguing. My experience was nothing short of calming and restorative. Not only were her hands gentle, but also her presence was soothing. As a doula who holds significant energy and emotional space for clients, I left the spa feeling lighter; Almost like my own energy had been purified. Since meeting Elizabeth, she has gone on to open a second location on the island of Kauai, where she gave birth to her daughter Penelope. There are so many things I love about this beautiful conversation. She openly shares about her becoming pregnant and how she intuitively felt that she needed to be in a peaceful environment in order to birth her baby. She bravely discloses her experience of having a miscarriage and feeling a sense of shame. I was in awe of her willingness to speak about the loneliness that often accompanies loss. It makes you wonder how many women in the world have silently processed a loss in isolation…So often early motherhood is depicted as a dark, turbulent season. And while it certainly can be, Elizabeth was pleasantly surprised by her own experience. Through a process of self discovery, Elizabeth has found inexplicable joy in being a mother. There is a lightness to Elizabeth that is inspiring… She exudes positive energy that makes you feel a sense of peace.I hope you enjoy this conversation :) Please share with anyone you think may need a dose of magical, adventurous, mama medicine.You can connect with Elizabeth Carter here. And if you want to treat yourself to an incredible facial either in Topanga or Kauai, you can book an appointment at Honest Rituals here.4:28 Elizabeth’s formative experience as an au pair and witnessing others’ births7:13 Feeling ready or not ready to have a baby8:18 Balancing the pain and “shame” of a miscarriage with hope and readiness11:46 Preparing for labor and birth and the role of intuition16:40 Elizabeth’s birth story in the Hawaiian island of Kauai26:26 The support of a midwife and the impact on a partner33:43 Going into birth with intentions, not expectations35:34 The importance of rest immediately after birth36:39 Having a birth experience free from the mind41:41 Postpartum and identity shifts43:20 Changing perceptions of beauty44:56 Words of wisdom to future mothers and the importance of choice in motherhoodThank you for being here and for supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast.Please like, review and share with anyone you think would enjoy this conversation.** If you know someone that works with a brand or company that shares the ethos of providing deeper and more comprehensive care to women and mothers and who may be open to supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast, please email [email protected] can connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD here or by visiting her website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

We spend most of our waking moments in our minds. Planning, rationalizing, thinking, evaluating. All of these are important processes. But did you know that the pelvis speaks a language of its own? Kimberly Ann Johnson describes how the body carries not only personal stories from our life experience, but also ancestral stories. These stories are lodged within the body and can be expressed in an infinite number of ways.More specifically, our tissues hold memory. For example, when there is scar tissue present, it is physical evidence of trauma. Trauma can mean different things, but in this context I simply mean that something abrupt happened to the body that disturbed the tissues enough to create a scar. That does not mean it is internalized by the individual as a traumatic event (although it absolutely could and often does). Regardless of whether or not a person with scar tissue consciously perceives it as a traumatic event, the scar tissue speaks for itself.Kimberly has supported women for many years processing birth stories. She explains that often times the person may have a narrative in place in their mind, but they might not have the somatic connection or recall from that experience until someone is able to bring awareness to the pelvic floor. In order to create harmony between the body (the pelvis) and the mind, she helps women direct their attention to their pelvic floor through hands on support.She listens and responds to the individual’s body- not simply the words that someone speaks. Kimberly describes how a woman might feel ready in her mind for the hands on touch, but her body might not be ready. When this happens, she allows the body to express itself first as it gives valuable information about the individual that the conscious mind may not even be aware of. There are many aspects of this episode that resonate with me deeply as a woman, as a birth doula, and an educator. I hope it hits home for you, too.If you would like to connect with Kimberly you can do so here.Her newest course called MotherCircle builds community support for mothers in order to feel a sense of camaraderie and a place of belonging… This offering helps break past barriers that make motherhood feel lonely and difficult to connect. You can find out more information about MotherCircle and sign up for the course here.5:12 Kimberly’s personal upbringing8:17 Hands on, hands in body work and the information the pelvis holds12:37 Listening to the tissue and the whole body, not just what is verbalized16:20 Helping clients connect with their pelvis19:11 Perennial stretching, prenatal movement, and healing rupture through touch21:28 The intelligence of scar tissue and how it holds trauma and emotion25:31 To push or not to push// fetal ejection reflex29:09 Observations from Kimberly’s time as a birth doula31:13 The prescriptive, shaming, and accusatory tone that often permeates digital spaces on women’s health36:27 Making “mistakes” does not mean that you are doing it wrong39:43 Using your discernment about when to listen to the outside world and when to listen to your body41:44 Oppositional gaze and the limitations of our dependence on digital resources44:45 Building community, horizontal care, and mother circles46:43 The Fourth Trimester book and what Kimberly would add now49: 24 Female life stages are not problems to solveThank you for being here and for supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast. Please like, review and share with anyone you think would enjoy this conversation.** If you know someone that works with a brand or company that shares the ethos of providing deeper and more comprehensive care to women and mothers and who may be open to supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast, please email [email protected] can connect with our host, Keely Semler, MPH, CD here or by visiting her website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

When it comes to being a woman, pleasure is not really something as a culture we are taught to explore or prioritize. For Marissa Correia, it is her passion to share about the importance of pleasure in our lives and how it allows us to be more connected to our bodies and our environment.In our conversation, we discuss what it means to build a practice of embodiment. She explains that embodiment is a process of re-inhabiting our bodies.Marissa explains that sometimes pleasure is used as a means to leave our bodies, or a way out of feeling instead of a way in to feeling more deeply. She says there is a place for both - but that the true work is strengthening and promoting safety to be fully within one’s skin. She posits that a lot of the issues we are collectively facing as a society can be attributed to the idea of disembodiment or disconnection from one’s physical body. By nature, we were not designed nor meant to be living in such a fast pace way, every single day.Marissa shares her authentic perspective on the cycles of nature and how they relate to the human body. The way she uses language to explain how the body is intricately connected to the earth is incredibly beautiful. For example, we discuss the earth based wheel of the year and its significance and correlation to a woman’s menstrual cycle. Most notably, when seasons change from the depth of winter’s release to the slow emergence of early spring, we can see the correlation it has to the menses (bleeding) phase and the beginning of the follicular phase when our hormones begin to rise again to prepare for ovulation. She also describes the womb is a mirror; it reflects how we treat our body as a whole. How might we be using protection when it may not be necessary? How does being in fight or flight influence our nervous system? And how might the nervous system affect our womb? We also discuss the pelvic bowl, in lieu of the term pelvic floor, is a place of receiving and releasing. Marissa offers many different courses on earth womb embodiment both online and in person in San Diego. You can connect with her here or by visiting her website.As always thank you for being here and for supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast. Please like, review and share with anyone you think would enjoy this conversation.4:30 Defining embodied pleasure13:32 Supporting the conditions that allow the body to feel safe16:37 Witnessing different nervous system responses without judgment19:45 How people pleasing comes into play during birth and embodiment20:46 Natural cycles, body cycles, and earth womb embodiment26:43 Tracking cycles28:31 “Pelvic bowl” and “pelvic diaphragm” in lieu of “pelvic floor”34:38 The importance of relaxation36:12 Understanding the intelligence of scar tissue and that tension is not protectionThank you for reading Motherlands. This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Kim is an outspoken, fiery mother of three children. Her husky, confident voice immediately puts you at ease. You can tell within a few moments of speaking to her that she really has a lot of life experience that informs the incredible work she does as a doula. You may also know her online as Mama Three Birds. In this episode, she shares about how her childhood impacted her ability to provide support to birthing families. Starting with the birth of her brother, she has been fascinated by childbirth since she was a young child. We talk about nature versus nurture and how her role now as a birth doula is simply a part of who she is; it was not something she purposely sought out to do. Caregiving has always been her role.Kimberly explains in her own words what medical informed consent means and gives common scenarios of how she addresses it within a hospital setting. She says that often times a nurse will approach her client and say: “We are going to start you on medication now because you aren’t making the progress we want to see”. She will then turn to her client and reinterpret it in a way that empowers the birthing person by saying something like, “the doctor would like to give you medication. How do you feel about that?” The way in which her clients are spoken to by medical personnel is an opportunity for Kim to teach her clients that they are not just a patient but also a paying customer, which means they are entitled to (and should be demanding of) treatment that is dignified and respectful. Kim also shares that building an emotional connection with the nurses can create cohesion which allows the birthing person to feel harmony within the birth team and her environment.We also discuss social media and its implications on childbirth, how sometimes it creates unrealistic ideals around birth and motherhood. Our culture has become so results driven and yet there is this whole other experience; the journey of pregnancy and birth matter just as much as the end result. How someone feels held through the process can be just as meaningful as how the baby is born, whether it is cesarean, unmedicated or otherwise.Kim also shares about her involvement with the International Cesarean Awareness Network, which provides resources and support to birthing people who are hoping to have a vaginal birth after a cesarean (VBAC). Kimberly Denitz-Zuleger is a mother, birth doula, miscarriage and loss doula and placenta encapsulator based in the Ojai/Ventura/Santa Barbara area. You can connect with her @mamathreebirds or by visiting her website.The photograph of Kim was taken on medium format film by Matt Bockal.As always thank you for being here and for supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast. Please like, review and share with anyone you think would enjoy this conversation.1:28 Kimberly’s childhood influences and journey to being a doula6:45 The mixture of nature and nurture in shaping identity, purpose, and career paths15:06 What informed consent looks like16:59 Self-advocacy and knowing your team is working for you17:47 Making a hospital birth your own19:13 Shifting from a result-oriented to an experience-oriented ideology25:56 Overlooked focuses within birth and post-partum28:37 Healing from hardships that otherwise would keep repeating themselves31:42 Kimberly’s work with ICAN: International Cesarean Awareness NetworkMotherlands is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

It is with great pleasure to share this incredible conversation with Nkem Ndefo about trauma and resilience. We examine how our bodies uniquely adapt to our surroundings. Every person has their own internal system of regulation, or how our bodies filter and respond to our environment. Sometimes we can tolerate stressful conditions, and other times it can take us over the edge into overwhelm.Nkem explains that there is good stress, like preparing for a new job, or getting married. However, there is also toxic stress, and distressing situations - this is the type of stress that if it goes unchecked, can lead to overwhelm and potentially trauma. Trauma changes the structure and function of the brain as well as how the nervous system operates. We lament how many new age healing programs tell people to relive their trauma. However, this can subsequently embed the trauma further into the neural network of the brain which can cause more harm to the individual. Nkem clarifies that there isn’t really a way you can just remove trauma through catharsis. Rather, it requires repatterning the way in which you relate to the trauma. This means that there is an internal shift in how someone holds the trauma within their body and mind. And in order to repattern trauma, one must feel ready and willing to revisit the traumatic event in a safe environment, slowly and gingerly. This helps the individual to garner nervous system stabilization - or in simple words, not freak out and emotionally spiral.When Nkem refers to the Stabilization Phase of Trauma Healing, this is precisely the mission of the Resilience Toolkit, where participants learn how to settle and calm their own nervous system. I ask Nkem what exactly does resilience mean? She explains that resilience does not mean growing your ability to withstand people or systems that create oppression, rather it means having the skills and strategy to be both flexible and strong and also know how to create stability within yourself. In other words, being resilient it is not learning how to tolerate more b******t.It is also worth noting that safety is both an external and an internal condition. Nkem helps people to discover what safety feels like within an individual’s body so that they can gauge how an external environment can either promote or interfere with their ability to feel safe. We also talk about her many years as a nurse midwife both within the hospital system as well as her private practice, her thoughts around birth plans, doulas being a bandaid for a much larger systemic and oppressive issue, and so much more. Nkem Ndefo, MSN, CNM, RN (she/they) is the founder of Lumos Transforms and creator of The Resilience Toolkit. She is a skilled practitioner, dynamic speaker, and valued strategist. She is known for her unique ability to connect with people of all types by holding powerful healing spaces, weaving complex concepts into accessible narratives, and creating synergistic and collaborative learning communities that nourish people’s innate capacity for healing, wellness, and connection.Lumos Transforms has a wide variety of group and individual offerings where you can learn and practice the resilience toolkit.They also host a free workshop called the Roadmap to Trauma Healing which explains the importance and impact of utilizing the resilience toolkit.You can follow Nkem @lumos_transforms and @nkemndefo.As always thank you for being here and for supporting the MOTHERLANDS Podcast. Please like, review and share with anyone you think would enjoy this conversation.2:47 Defining trauma and how it is different from stress5:42 Reliving trauma versus revisiting trauma9:12 Finding safety and the stabilization phase of trauma healing11:46 Building an active resilience toolkit that works for YOU15:33 Acknowledging the limits of any practice - it’s not one size fits all17:17 Hubris and capitalism’s effect on healing and trauma19:04 How do we have informed consent and trust within the power dynamic of the obstetrical system?22:03 Finding someone you trust rather than relying on an extensive birth plan23:25 Doulas can advocate and support, they can not save25:36 Addressing root causes for birth issues inside and outside the hospital29:00 Working with birthing people who have had traumatic birth experiences31:33 The roadmap to trauma healing32:28 Trauma bonding: how we gravitate towards what we resonate with33:26 Our trauma and polarity influence our life and career choices35:02 Wanting control is a prime trauma response36:05 How can we value pleasure and joy through resilience?38:42 Finding Nkem’s work: Lumos Transforms This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Part of the reason why I love being the host of the MOTHERLANDS Podcast is because I get to interview guests about deep and meaningful ideas about what it means to be a woman. But when it comes to myself I find it difficult to open up about my own process. This episode is my attempt to be both brave and vulnerable. I talk about how doula work found me. My childhood prepared me well for the job of a doula, especially my role as a caregiver for my older brother who was born with a rare genetic disease. It was a tumultuous childhood, riddled with immense uncertainty. But what it taught me is that our wounds, if handled with care, can be a source of connection. The depth of grief I experienced in losing my brother grants me access to places within my heart that allow me to be a loving, supportive presence for others. Photograph by Matt BockalThanks for reading Motherlands! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.As I ramble on, I weigh the pros and cons of giving birth within a hospital setting as well as at home and at birth centers. Additionally I share the major differences between a western OBGYN and a community based midwife. This is a good episode to share with anyone that is pregnant or plans to be pregnant and is not sure what environment is most conducive for trust and safety within their individual body.I am forever learning how to build the capacity to hold more complexity within my life. It has been the deepest honor to teach and work alongside others in deepening their own resilience. Thank you for being here.If you find this episode helpful or enlightening I would be so grateful if you left a rating or a write a review.Connect with our host, Keely Semler on Instagram (@k.eelys or @motherlands.podcast)Thank you for reading Motherlands. This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

A couple of years after the birth of her first son, Yvonne Strahovski became pregnant with her second child and was determined to have a radically different experience. In this episode, we discuss how birth is just as much a mental and emotional experience as it is a physical one. As she begins to prepare for the arrival of her third baby, Yvonne shares her journey of learning how to listen, prioritize, and trust her intuition in which she describes as the intelligence found within the body.This episode was already released last year, but somehow it went missing. So if you haven’t already listened to this one, let me know what you think.And since releasing this episode, Yvonne gave birth again to her third child! I’m hoping she will join us again to share how incredibly different her third birth was to her second and first births.The photograph of Yvonne was taken on medium format film at dusk in her Malibu home by Matt Bockal.Thank you for being here. If you find this episode helpful or enlightening I would be so grateful if you left a rating or a write a review.Connect with our host, Keely Semler on Instagram (@k.eelys or @motherlands.podcast) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Dawn Huckelbridge is a mother and the Founding Director of Paid Leave for All. In this conversation we discuss (and lament) how the United States is one of the few countries left in the world that does not have any national Paid Family Leave program.Nearly 1 in 4 employed mothers have to return to work within two weeks of giving birth and only 25 percent of US workers have access to paid family leave through an employer. For the employers that do offer some kind of leave, it is usually anywhere from 6-12 weeks which is simply not enough time for a new mother to heal from childbirth let alone acclimate to new parenthood. At this point it is widely acknowledged that the lack of support withheld from new mothers can lead to adverse health outcomes for women. Specifically, postpartum mood disorders can develop as a result of the absence of financial and physical support in the early weeks and months following birth. Even more disturbing is the overwhelming financial burden most new families face when they decide to have a child. The most disheartening revelation I had as a birth doula is that having a family in the United States is almost a marked sign of luxury -reserved for the elite, as they are the ones who can afford to pay for the good providers who do not accept insurance, take time off of work unpaid, and put their child in day care or hire a nanny. Dawn recently addressed the Biden Administration urging lawmakers to commit to passing legislation that provides paid leave for new families. As I mention in this episode, this is a nonpartisan effort; we do not need to be affiliated with a certain political party to be in favor of paid family leave. Most importantly, it is time we hold politicians accountable for the promises they make.While I know we are preaching to the choir as the MOTHERLANDS community is predominantly women, we can utilize and mobilize our outrage together to create the change that we as well as our children and future generations deserve. Join the movement with Paid Leave for AllPhotograph of Dawn Huckelbridge, Paid Leave For All Founding Director5:09 How the pandemic put paid leave in a bipartisan spotlight6:56 Financial access to paid leave and childcare11:33 Making sense of life after birth13:13 Lack of access to paid leave contributes to postpartum mental health issues16:10 Statistics, disparities, election issues, and costs of care and childbirth19:35 Policy change: how can people get involved?21:01 Where to find Dawn and Paid Leave for All21:28 Wisdom for new mothers: tell your full, authentic stories24:41 Advice to new families and partnersThank you for being here. If you find this episode helpful or enlightening I would be so grateful if you left a rating or a write a review.** Register for Medical Informed Consent: A Deep Dive Live Session with Keely Semler.Use Code: MOTHERLANDS for 10% off.Connect with our host, Keely Semler on Instagram (@k.eelys or @motherlands.podcast)Sign up for the newsletter here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

It is with great pleasure I introduce the next guest on the MOTHERLANDS Podcast.I first encountered Nicole Morales when I was a new doula, seeking out additional training and education on supporting clients through birth. I attended a Spinning Babies course in San Diego and Nicole was my instructor. She left such an impression on me as she taught me to be deeply curious about how a baby’s position in labor has everything to do with how labor progresses. Thanks for reading Keely’s Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Nicole Morales is a mother, a homebirth midwife, an Approved Spinning Babies Trainer and a Certified Birthing from Within Mentor. She was also an instructor for The Nizhoni Institute of Midwifery and is part of Breechbirthsd.com which helps breech families navigate the system as best as possible by being an online resource center.She also recently co-authored a book entitled Restorative Midwifery: Heart Sacrifice, which is about breech and twin births.In this conversation we talk about the importance of listening as an active practice in midwifery care. She shares that to her, birthwork is nervous system work and nervous system work is legacy work, which is part of a multi-generational nervous system.We also discuss how medical research is storytelling.In her experience as a practicing midwife, normal labor and birth is not usually reflective in medical research. Why?When money is embedded in how medical research is conducted, it can change how a story is told. About 75% of modern day Obstetrics is not evidence based. It has been handed down, indoctrinating new medical providers by practicing medicine in a way that does not promote the best maternal health outcomes.What I found most interesting was when Nicole explained that sometimes we compromise what we say and do because we want other people to be at ease with our decisions.It made me reflect on all of the clients I’ve supported over the years; the journey it is for each person to discover what feels right to them, the loving presence it takes to give someone permission to explore and ask questions as they move through pregnancy and birth, how you can always change your mind, and how this makes a world of difference in how someone feels safe. You can Support Nicole’s work by purchasing her book on AmazonConnect with her on Instagram @nicolemoralesmidwifeOr visit her website https://artofopening.comThank you for being here. If you find this episode helpful or enlightening I would be so grateful if you left a rating or a write a review.MOTHERLANDS is a podcast which traverses the current landscape of fertility, pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum. Sharing evidence based information through honest conversations, my hope is that these interviews will help listeners become more educated, make informed choices, and ultimately foster better maternal health outcomes.** Register for Medical Informed Consent: A Deep Dive Live Session with Keely Semler.Use Code: MOTHERLANDS for 10% off.Connect with our host, Keely Semler on Instagram @k.eelys or @motherlands.podcast This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Allison Oswald (PT, DPT, WCS) is a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic wellness. She takes a personalized and holistic approach to women’s wellness, integrating different modalities, such as pelvic mapping, manual techniques, visceral mobilizations, and movement education. She supports women who are pre, mid, or post pregnancy or experiencing pelvic pain, incontinence, or pelvic injury.We discuss how she supports women with connecting and understanding the pelvic floor as it relates the rest of the body. Allison’s unique approach to educating women and applying it to their daily lives is refreshing and extremely practical, especially for new mothers. She is a mother of three herself. Connect with Allison on Instagram @allisonoswald or visit her Digital Studio.I hope you enjoy this episode and if you love it please rate and leave a review! ** Register for Medical Informed Consent: A Deep Dive Live Session with Keely Semler. Use code MOTHERLANDS for 10% off.Connect with our host, Keely Semler on Instagram (@k.eelys or @motherlands.podcast)Sign up for the newsletter here6:37 Why athleticism and injuries can make one prone to pelvic floor issues8:38 Integrating pelvic health into your daily life12:45 Pelvic floor disfunction’s influence across the body13:27 The impact of stress, mental health, energy, and ancestral trauma on the pelvic floor16:08 How stress heightens symptoms of dysfunction, especially during labor17:22 Connection of the pelvic floor to the jaw20:10 A strong pelvic floor is one that can fully relax and contract23:17 Working with pregnant women on pelvic floor health25:22 Perineal massage27:56 Integrating self-awareness checks31:07 Reconnecting to intimacy and sex after birth35:36 Lessons from Allison’s births38:37 How to find Allison’s work and digital studio offerings This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

You may have heard of hypnosis before. It is often portrayed in movies and books as something quite dubious, as if it is some kind of mind control. But did you know that self hypnosis has incredible physiological benefits? This next guest teaches hypnobirthing to support clients through the process of giving birth. Ashley Mitchell Scott, MA HBCE, is a mother of two, a doula, and an educator. I had the honor of supporting her and her husband through the birth of her first child. She explains how self hypnosis is an incredible tool to reach a desired state.Join a Hypnobirthing Group or Book a Private Class with Ashley Mitchell ScottI have been truly thankful for the feedback on all the different guests of MOTHERLANDS. If there are any specific topics that you are eager to learn about feel free to send an email to [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you! Connect with our host, Keely Semler on Instagram (@k.eelys or @motherlands.podcast)Sign up for the newsletter here2:10 The philosophy of hypnobirthing and Ashley’s process5:10 Hypnosis goals & setting holistic, realistic intentions15:27 No birth experience is a result of “not practicing enough”17:07 Fetal ejection, birth without pushing, and the importance of having an advocate25:03 Ashley’s births28:53 First birth: choosing a hospital birth and Ashley’s lengthy labor30:55 Second birth: listening to what feels right, prodromal labor, and fast labor40:55 You have the perfect body to birth your baby46:31 Things to check before your hospital birth48:22 Where to find Ashley’s work and classes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Molly Nourmand, LMFT, is a Psychotherapist that specializes in perinatal mental health. She started an incredible company called Life After Birth where she facilitates group sessions with new mothers as they process the complexities of becoming a parent, shifts in identity, changes related to intimacy and so much more. We discuss what are some common ways that Postpartum Anxiety and Mood Disorders  (AKA PMADS) present in early parenthood. Molly also shares a bit about her own birth story – which ultimately lead her to creating her company, Life After Birth. I have been truly thankful for the feedback on all the different guests of MOTHERLANDS. If there are any specific topics that you are eager to learn about feel free to send an email to [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you! The book referred to in this episode is Fair Play by Eve RodskyConnect with Molly on Instagram (@lifeafterbirth_la)Join a Life After Birth GroupConnect with our host, Keely Semler on Instagram (@k.eelys or @motherlands.podcast)Sign up for the newsletter here2:28 Mental load. What is it?5:31 Creating a roadmap of parenting preferences7:49 Developing self-advocacy practices while pregnant10:05 risk factors for postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs)11:10 Addressing the mental and the physical12:31 How the lack of emotional prep can cause the development of PMADs13:33 Giving and receiving support to new mothers18:30 Allowing space for the partner to process22:15 How the partner can be present and how the birthing person can best receive that support24:28 The evolution of intimacy, sex, and identity post-birth31:42 An ever-changing sense of identity34:40 Holding space for hope and dealing with uncertainties collectively37:28 Placenta encapsulation and situational PMADs40:11 Symptoms of PMADs versus the “baby blues”43:41 Parenting technology: benefits, reliances, and impacts on mental health44:48 Molly’s birth experience56:22 Recovery and the impetus for Life After Birth This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Jennifer Davidson and Kimmy Mills are a team of lactation consultants best known as the Milky Way Mamas who are on a mission to educate and empower clients on the amazing benefits of breastfeeding. Our conversation covers a variety of common breastfeeding topics such as milk supply, engorgement, thrush, and mastitis.  While honoring the unique journey of every nursing mother, Jennifer and Kimmy share helpful tips and resources so that new mothers feel both supported and validated.    You can connect with Jennifer and Kimmy by visiting their website or following them on Instagram @themilkywaymamas and @theartofnurture. We apologize for any poor audio quality during this episode. We hope you still enjoy this incredible interview.www.keelysemler.com4:43 Factors to consider and prep for after birth6:46 Thrush16:50 Engorgement: diagnosis, prevention, and treatment28:05 How does food impact milk supply?32:36 Consuming alcohol while breastfeeding33:36 Nursing is still possible when a mother cannot breastfeed36:57 Jennifer’s birth experience40:35 Kimmy’s birth stories49:31 Milky Way film and The Art of Nurture nursing benches52:27 Where to find Kimmy and Jennifer’s projects and work This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Jules Blaine Davis is a mother, writer, wayshower and coach. She has been called the "midwife to life", encouraging women to live the life that is right here, right now. We go deep in our conversation where we discuss giving ourselves permission to listen to the body, how we often say "No" to ourselves. We also talk about how every person is a mother - including men. And that we are constantly birthing the new mothers inside of us. To purchase a copy of the Kitchen Healer or to find out more information about Jules you can visit her website https://www.julesblainedavis.comYou can also find Jules on Instagram @julesbdavisRead Keely's Substack Newsletterwww.keelysemler.com⁠ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Lina Bardovi, L.Ac, found her calling to Chinese medicine in her 20s when she discovered that her boyfriend had brain cancer. The one treatment that seemed to make him feel better was acupuncture. In this episode we discuss how all humans are a delicate balance of yin and yang energy, the importance of the 5 elements within the body, as well as the 5 pathogens according to traditional Chinese medicine. Lina discloses that she is currently pregnant – and shares how she has prepared for pregnancy. Chinese Medicine refers to the mother's womb as the baby palace, and we discuss everything from nutrition, to morning sickness to postpartum healing.You can book an appointment with Lina at Resonant Healing or follow her on Instagram @resonant.healing.*Licensed acupuncturist and clinical herbalist**This is not medical advice.www.keelysemler.com1:50 Lina’s journey to becoming an acupuncturist9:43 Lessons from loss10:58 An overview of Chinese medicine’s basic principles13:14 The essence of Yin and Yang14:50 Five element theory18:39 Channels and meridians20:15 Choosing acupuncture points20:45 Individualizing diagnoses to each person’s constitution22:56 Chinese medicine as a tool for fertility 26:01 The role of nutrition in Chinese medicine 36:05 The importance of heat in the female body38:24 The impact of the temperature of foods and liquids consumed40:21 The significance of wind and pathogens in Chinese medicine42:25 Chinese medicine for young children44:13 Postpartum anxiety, grief, and depression49:33 Lina’s pregnancy, preparing for birth, finding a midwife, and envisioning a new life53:53 The power of choice This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

This episode is very special as I interview my mentor, Julie Freitas. Julie was a childbirth educator and doula for over forty years. She taught in hospitals, clinics and in her home in Los Angeles. Her intimate style of teaching was coveted by the hundreds of families she taught from all different cultural backgrounds. In this episode, Julie describes the way in which women give birth has changed over time and she shares the story of her first son's birth. We also discuss postpartum depression, breastfeeding, sleep training, and the early days of parenthood.*This is not medical advice.www.keelysemler.com1:38 How Julie's work in childhood education influenced her first birth experience4:30 Finding a doctor who supported her wish for a natural birth6:53: Julie’s birth experience11:58 The impact of the birth on Julie’s partner and their relationship13:16 The impetus of Julie’s journey into birth work and the nature of birth teaching16:02 Julie’s labor support journey20:27 The evolution of the culture around childbirth24:46 Julie’s style and history of teaching27:56 Qualities of a good doula32:22 Doing it together: being there for your child and knowing you can't control the life they came here to lead34:56 Feeding with love, with or without breastfeeding37:04 Finding a good caregiver for your child This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode we exchange ideas on the importance of doula work, and how each birth signifies the brilliance and miracle of new souls choosing their arrival. Rima Thierry has given birth four times, four different ways, in which she says, her children's personalities distinctly shine through each experience. Rima Thierry is a birth doula, yoga teacher, and cofounder of SovernLA, a healing arts organization that uplifts and supports black + indigenous women and gender non-binary people. To attend a class or a new moon circle led by Rima, please visit https://www.sovern.la*This episode is not medical advice.1:21 What makes for a good doula3:22 Mother and baby know best4:53 The social media inspiration and fallacy6:59 Choosing your birth environment11:21 Choosing the right birth team13:07 Helping clients relinquish control15:58 Holding space for an empowered birth18:59 Rima’s first birth - breech cesarean birth26:24 Second birth - head down cesarean birth34:12 Third birth - cesarean birth45:00 Yoga training and fourth birth - vaginal with a doula59:54 The duality and spirituality of birth and life1:02:49 Rima’s organization SovernLA1:05:24 Childhood and parenthood as a child of immigrants - the places we come fromMore at www.keelysemler.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode Olivia Van Dyke, a wife, a mother, and a CEO, speaks about her experience conceiving her first child at 24, the self-imposed pressure to get pregnant before her ailing father passes away, along with grieving the loss of her father while simultaneously preparing to give birth. This conversation is exceptionally moving as we examine together the heartbreak and the beauty found within the everyday moments of motherhood. www.keelysemler.com2:46 Origins and inspiration for the Motherlands Podcast3:12 Misconceptions about conception7:02 The journey and guilt of grief and loss during pregnancy9:39 Holding space for your emotions11:15 Olivia’s first birth experience20:39 The post birth feeling of invisibility for the mother and partner24:18 Feeling disconnected from your baby28:54 NICU and a rough transition into motherhood31:35 Conceiving their second child and a very different second birth33:03 Self judgment at play for using or not using an epidural33:41 Finding a connection with a doula and determined to have an unmedicated birth35:44 A fear of changing existent family dynamics with another child36:48 Many new factors: an unmedicated birth during covid48:44 Breastfeeding and working in early motherhood51:56 Feeding the other parts of you outside being a mother53:33 Sex drive after birth57:21 Therapy and discovering new parts of yourself after having a baby1:00:29 Advice for future birth-givers: you will be ok1:01:50 The benefits of being off of social media: no FOMO or comparison This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Michelle divulges how how she relates to her career after having a baby, and the stigma around being a mother whilst being a female business owner. We discuss topics that are often perceived as taboo such as sex and intimacy post birth, sleep training, and gender roles. The episode concludes with the story of her son's birth. Michelle Pellizzon Lipsitz is the founder of Holisticism, a community and educational platform for wellness-oriented entrepreneurs and creatives. She is also the co-host of The Twelfth House PodcastYou can follow Michelle on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/michellepellizzonlipsitz/ and Holisticism here https://www.holisticism.com*This episode is not medical advice.www.keelysemler.com1:31 Changes after birth4:13 Expectations about birth and motherhood5:35 How society treats women/mothers who go back to work after birth8:00 Sleep training and “parenting expertise”13:32 Revelations of motherhood and gender roles15:55 The spectrum of gender identity and labels in birthing18:18 Intimacy and physical activity during and post pregnancy23:15 Stigmas and assumptions around breastfeeding26:27 Building an understanding with your partner regarding postpartum intimacy27:01 Preparing for birth, deciding on having a doula, and hypnobirthing29:00 Michelle’s birth story38:00 Working with medical staff while also maintaining your autonomy43:11 Post birth realizations, needs, and family dynamics This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Kristina Dahlin is a physician assistant and homebirth midwife assistant. While deeply respecting the physiological process of childbirth, Kristina eloquently bridges the gap between the medical world and the holistic/natural world. Additionally, she offers pregnant clients gentle bodywork rooted in the indigenous practice of the rebozo technique to help ensure the baby is in an optimal position for labor and birth. To find out more about Kristina, please visit her blog: https://theevidenceexperience.blogspot.com*This episode is not medical advice.2:19 IUI, IVF, and Steps to Understanding Your Fertility5:30 The role of nutrition in fertility7:31 The process of IVF and IUI 10:00 How gender disparity plays a part in fertility treatments16:40 Issues within the medical institution19:15 Cost, risk, and accessibility to fertility treatments23:27 Fertility clinics26:22 IUI costs and advantages28:38 Factors to consider when beginning IVF32:11 Kristina’s birth storieswww.keelysemler.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Lara Elliott is a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist who teaches integrative healing techniques such as reiki and meditation. She works with clients individually and in groups as well as leads trainings worldwide. She resides with her family in Ojai, California.To find out more about Lara Elliott and her offerings, please visit https://www.laraelliotthealing.com.*This episode is not medical advice.1:40 Wanting to be a mother2:24 Lara’s childhood in Germany7:21 Lara’s father’s role in her and her siblings’ births9:30 Stories of her own birth12:35 Lara’s conception journey, miscarriages, and postpartum19:25 Doulas and Claire’s birth24:42 Finding a delivery doctor29:57 Lara’s birth journey and why she has a cesarean32:16 Everyone’s birth journey is unique and valuable36:36 Attachment to outcomes versus what feels right40:34 Relinquishing control and relaxationwww.keelysemler.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Justine Malick is a certified Pilates instructor, trainer, and owner of Sapphire Pilates. She works with clients from all walks of life to facilitate a sense of ease within the body. Justine specializes in Somatics, Body Mind Centering (BMC), Deep Bodywork Massage, Resistance Flexibility Strength Training (RFST), Chinese Medicine, and Prenatal/Postpartum Corrective Exercise (PPCES).To visit her studio, book a private session, or find out more about her services and offerings, please visit https://www.sapphirepilates.com*This episode is not medical advice.3:58 Movement and breath in pregnancy and postpartum 8:45 The impact of relaxin; strength versus flexibility10:34 Engaging the pelvic floor13:22 Combatting historic tendencies to maintain tightness in the body17:03 Addressing sciatic pain in pregnancy23:01 Agency of movement & breath during pregnancy26:14 Honoring asymmetry and internal architecture within the body27:32 Supporting the postpartum body & beginning movement after birth31:36 Prioritizing integrity of movement33:50 Ayurvedic offerings36:03 Justine’s philosophy of movementFor more information, visit ⁠www.keelysemler.com⁠. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe

Nancy Beyda is a homebirth midwife in Los Angeles. Prior to becoming a midwife, she was a birth doula for over 20 years. Nancy believes that the way we birth has a profound impact on how we move through life. She is also the Executive Director of FoodCycle LA, a nonprofit that recovers food to communities that are experiencing food insecurity. Nancy finds that there is a deep connection between childbirth and the environment and she consciously seeks out ways in which to improve the outcomes of both.To find out more about her midwifery practice and her nonprofit, please visit http://www.nancybeyda.comhttps://www.foodcyclela.org*This episode is not medical advice.1:08 Nancy Beyda’s journey of becoming a midwife2:55 Midwifery vs. OBGYN care, and licensing for Midwifery services9:22 Assessing risk and informed consent15:09 Prenatal appointments and developing relationships with clients17:57 The difference between doulas and midwives20:27 Navigating conflict advice and birthing choices25:20 Pitocin and medication27:33 Preventing and dealing with tearing and hemorrhage28:59 Due dates36:51 Nancy's birth experience 42:26 Free birth, vaginal exams, and trusting the birth process51:27 Deciding on using a midwife or having an out-of-hospital birthhttps://www.keelysemler.com/⁠ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keelysemler.substack.com/subscribe