The Opinion Machine???

#379 The Problem Is Women In MEN’S Sports, Not The Other Way Around.

#376 I Watched 30 Minutes Of “Trans” P*rn So You Don’t Have To

#355 Lowering The Bar So Idiots Like Me Feel Like Geniuses - Covid, NFTs, Crypto & Top Shelf Booze

#352 American Idol vs Educated A-Holes

#351 A Pigeon Named Rose - Abortion, Assassination, Denial & Compulsory State Indoctrination

#350 The Age Of Consent - Being Forced To Strip Naked In Front Of My Teachers & Peers, Like You.

#349 Hate Incorporated - How The Left Calls Everything “Hate” In Order To Steal Your Stuff

#348 Comedy In 2026 Is Depressing - I Kinda Review Miniature Wife, Outcome, Cameo & More

Wherein I analyze and theorize about an inorganic phenomenon known as “Clavicular”.Lots of wild speculation here.No refunds.Smug 60 minutes Furkhttps://youtu.be/CXKCoFz3WRs?si=tlVcDZwBgWvOYZ3pSmug Andy Channel Fivehttps://youtu.be/-_6mni6k0Zw?si=WY9DU4F5s4mU4N6YDisgusting Piers Morganhttps://youtu.be/xQvhqt2r2l8?si=Wm1oJolSowF3gJcrCritical Clavicular timeline & analysis.https://youtu.be/Y3cFW-iFFns?si=ONMQRpeTxd0jIgJ2Evidence of algorithmic hijackinghttps://youtu.be/-5lqJF5BTvo?si=-cIc1_xU-RfGweF7

#345 Don’t Listen To This If You Think The Pope Is A Good Guy, (Unless You Enjoy Being Angry)

For My Friends Who Suffered The Spiritual Abuse Known As “Q”, & Even The Few Who Still Do.

Retarded Man Explains Integrity On His Tiny Dumb YouTube Channel

#342 Time To Lose More Followers By Agreeing With King Cheeto. It’s Your Own Damn Fault If You Listen

Wherein I do as advertised, plus take a few side roads around the moon.Extra complainy, this one.Guaranteed to send a few of yous packin’.No refunds.

Wherein, I talk about how I was unable to become friends with and save Reggie Watts from liberalism, even though, its seems like I should have been able to.I also talk about an insane double amputee friends of mine, who had all her limbs when we first became friends.I also forgot the names of the following people:Scott Auckerman (Comedy Bang Bang)Amanda LePore, (Drag queen.)James Corden (Fat Late Night Chat Dude)Mark Rebillet (Creepy imitation Reggie)i’m forgetful.No refunds.

Wherein I talk shit about Thomas Dolby and tell you how Thomas Dolby is such a forgettable one hit wonder that almost everyone mistakes him for Howard Jones.I repeat Thomas Dolby’s name a lot here in hopes that Thomas Dolby’s few stupid fans get shown this recording of me talking shit about Thomas Dolby, that unmemorable, hair plugging, dork.Thomas Dolby sucks.Fork Thomas Dolby.No refunds.

Wherein I pivot from bad customer service offered by corporations, to the much worse constituent disservice provided by every bureaucratic government and government mandated agency.When charm and deception seem like your only way to balance the universe, it ain’t hard to ignore and put on a happy face.Does anyone read these descriptions?Probably not.Damn I waste a lot of time.No refunds.

Wherein I implore the people who ask me for advice to think about what they are doing.Tangents and rambling as usual.No refunds.

Wherein I explore the topic of dream journaling and why I can’t figure out why people don’t seem to give a shit about the miracle of dreams.I know I sound like a child.I don’t care.Dreams are worth acknowledging and remembering and if you think that is dumb, I think you are dumb.Mexican stand off.Your move, Consuela, No refunds.

Wherein I tell you about my day yesterday, in which I dealt with no fewer than 30 incompetent customer service reps, only one of which I could say was white.It was miserable.Unbelievable really.I’m dehydrated and hoarse in this one because I do not play nice with incompetent foreigners hired to demoralize and humiliate me.Skip this one.No refunds.

Wherein I give the origin story behind changing my name to ???, how it didn’t really work, and how it was born out of wearing too many hats in my old band, only to have the Internet erase my involvement in it. Jerks.Swim Herschel Swim, is the name of that band.I write that here for the internet crawling robots who insist that the internet is the only way to verify the truth.I probably already told most of these stories here.Nobody is holding a Ray Gun to your head.You aren’t obligated to listen to my petty correction of history for the sake of Elon Musk and his robots.To call this humiliating, would be an understatement.It’s good to be humble.I’m proud of my humility.That joke sucks.No refunds.

Wherein I sermonize about the sermonizers and why you might want to consider just how silly their hats are before you take them seriously.I argue that funny hats are really little more than liability waivers that make you responsible for taking any dumb advice literally.Funny hats should be for fun, not for authority.This is another one of those times when God is punching us in the face with “duh” and most don’t even notice.Very sermony, this one.Oh, and also talk about the church I started and how I chose a very practical hat, the funniness of which is debatable.No refunds.

Wherein I say a bunch of gay shit about gay things in hopes that people will stop being so gay and maybe, you know, get back to the business of not being so gay all the time.Lots of oil talk in this one.Not baby oil though.If you hate Trump, you aren’t gonna like this one.Move along.No refunds

Wherein I rant about a billion things, take a bunch of side roads about this hand and the other one.I ain’t got shit figured out.But, that’s fine.No refunds.

Wherein I talk about the gobs of music made by myself and my friends that will likely never be heard by anyone, and how maybe the only music we listen to should be by those who know our name.Stoner thoughts without being stoned.Storage full.Delete files.No refunds.

Wherein I get existential about the likelihood that the digital era will be a black hole for future archeologists.If you ain’t printing and making stuff in the real physical world, you can count on being forgotten.Even in meat world it’s hard to be remembered.OJ who?His ex mother in law?Her passport?No refunds.

Wherein I review the culture of the last ten years, more specifically since the family wrecking psyop known as Covid, & ponder how much they were able to destroy, how hard it might be to repair, if that’s even possible, & just get real about the damage they did.Corny, but sincere.There is a song at the end I wrote with my half brother.He’s one of the ones who hates me.I miss him too.No refunds.

Wherein I give fair warning and address the most recent person who wanted me to know that they were sick of my shit.I’m sick of my shit.Try to be original.No refunds.

Wherein I say a bunch of stupid shit on this topic, wasting your time, my time, and everyone else’s.In fact, reading this synopsis is a waste of time.You either want to waste time listening to my blather or you don’t.I doubt this synopsis has any affect on that.No refunds.

Wherein I make a plea based on an entire lifetime of you assholes trying to make your problems, my problem.If I could snap my fingers and make those two ideologies, Judaism & Islam, disappear, I’d have done decades ago and the world would be full of wonderful white children playing in endless fields of wonder.I really need that finger snapping power.This recording and every moment I have ever devoted to these two insane concepts has been an utter waste of the miracle of existence.And yet here we’re are.Again.Lame.No refunds.

Wherein I describe the weirdness I experienced when I kinda accidentally became a photographer of naked people, strange rules I made in order to be “professional”, how everything changed this week when I used AI tools to help me fix some of the art that I hated, and how it dawned on me that these tools will for sure result in every half attractive woman, and even some who aren’t, ending up naked, gyrating, on someone’s phone or computer.It’s inevitable.The online sex work market is likely going to dry up.That’s probably a good thing, but the replacement might be worse.Or better.Either way, it’s going to happen at increasing levels.Get comfortable with it, or stay uncomfortable like me.Your choice.Fun coincidence that this recording ended up being 1h:11m long.No refunds.

Wherein I aimlessly ponder the concept of imprisonment, solitary confinement, solitude vs loneliness & why the heck large groups make me feel more isolated than being totally by myself.Why do most people hate being alone?Even the word “alone” seems to scare people, so much, they might change the words of a song to avoid it.Anyway, that’s a way for me to say that I’m posting a raw, one take, recording of a song at the end.I’m not a good singer, and my piano playing is sub par at best, but, you get what you pay for.No refunds.========Good As Gold2025 merkley/coomerunderground, so beautiful,lying there, good as gold.and I swear,on my word,I will dareto unfoldwhen you play your ukuleleon the promenadeI feel the symptoms of your soulUnderground underground don’t you try and tempt me when I’d rather be alone alonesafe & soundimmutablelying herestill as stoneTo returnand appearlight as a featherdark as coalWhen you play your ukuleleon the promenadeI feel the symptoms of your soulUnderground underground Don’t you try and tempt me When I’d rather be alone alone, alone, alone.

Wherein I discuss the recent human phenomenon of everyone you ever flushed out of your life, for good or bad reasons, being able to, or being kinda forced into, spying on you & knowing things they would never ever have known about you without breaking numerous laws and making life really uncomfortable for everyone.And we act like it is normal.It isn’t.Well, not historically speaking.No way it can be healthy.Am I nuts?No refunds.

Wherein I tell some stories that I should probably keep to myself, but, for whatever reason, I feel compelled to share, to give just a little context to the whole “eating babies” thing.If you like Gavin Rossdale you will hate this story.If you like Gwen Stefani, you are likely to think less of me for telling some “secrets” here.Look, my life is my story, and if you know me & I know you, you are part of my story & I assert my right to tell it as truthfully as I can.Let the chips fall where they may.No refunds.

Wherein I tell a story about how I came to be closely involved in the horror known as “Gender Affirming Care”It seems like many are still in denial about it all and are looking the other way.That’s not good.Eye on the ball.Yes, I wanted to say “balls”.This isn’t a funny episode.No refunds.

Wherein I tell some personal stories of alleged righteous indignation, passionate piety, & cringeworthy chastisement of people who didn’t deserve it & compare those feeling that drove me with what I am witnessing online in relation to the growing lore surrounding Jeffrey Epstein.Yes, I said LORE, aka FICTION, aka IMAGINARY TALES.Some of the stories are true.Most of them, you have been careful lead to invent in your own mind.I don’t know why I’m compelled to say the unpopular thing, but there it is.Sue me.No refunds.

Wherein I explain what should be very obvious about the personal life details of Roger Goodell’s decision to let the anti-white, dreadlocked social justice warrior, Jay-Z, who happens to be married to Beyoncé, run the Super Bowl Halftime Show to the exclusion of all White People.This is my most perfect analysis so far.I’m patting myself on the back as I type this.Figuratively.I need both thumbs to type.No refunds.

Wherein I explain exactly why Puerto Rico can NEVER be granted US Statehood.Not ever.Never.No way.Also, time for whitey to get super pridey.No refunds.

Wherein I theorize how Rubin, Milo, Greenwald, Fuentes, Ali, Jesse, Shapiro, Levin, Loomer, Elijah, Smith, Owens, & the rest of the “right wing” degenerates gained such a foothold amongst self described conservatives.We allowed it, and promoted it.Well, at least I did.But why?What made me/us think that was a good idea?Well, I have some ideas that you might be able to predict.No refunds.

Wherein I reflect on why maybe yesterday’s recording about Jeff Epstein & Steve Bannon didn’t sit well with some and compare the ballooning lore behind him to my childhood propensity to lie, exaggerate & invent stories about myself to seem more interesting.Now that I read what I just wrote it sounds like a really bad, sloppy analogy.Oh well, I doubt anyone ever listens to these recording based on these retarded synopsis anyway.No refunds.

Wherein I argue that the dehumanization & cartoonification of human beings, friend or foe, does a disservice to humanity as it avoids solving underlying issues.Very few people are 100% good or evil and thinking such only robs the individual from being able to confidently navigate reality.I touch on a number of forbidden topics here which is guaranteed to upset many people.I don’t care.This is not a defense of Epstein, it is a defense of reality over imagination.No refunds.

Wherein I argue that the ska scene in Provo Utah in the early nineties, of which I was the nucleus, is perhaps the perfect example & manifestation of the programming that lead well meaning, good natured young white men, down a road of suicidal charity for people who hate them, and would ultimately put the future of said white people at risk of destruction & elimination.It’s no wonder why white women are freaking out.Shouts out to Catherine O’Hara & John CandyThis analogy works way better than I’d like.You might not get it.Not my problem.No refunds.

Wherein I judge myself for judging Jesse James for being married 5 times, most recently to a porn star named Bonnie Rotten.He traded Sandra Bullock for that?Of course he did, and, unfortunately, I think I get it.Not proud of it, but I get it.You’re not gonna like how I drag Jesus into this.Fair warning.No refunds.

Wherein I reluctantly talk about the phenomenal inversion of morality resulting in a public that has been trained to accept that Don Lemon has any moral authority whatsoever.It’s gets a little graphic.If you are squeamish about sodomy, as hopefully you are, you might want to skip this one.No refunds.

Wherein a female internet friend of 20 plus years, aggressively asks the above question & I attempt to answer it in detail.Long story short, lots of things happened to me.Lots of insane things that are almost impossible to believe.They happened to you too.Why are we reacting so differently?I have some thoughts about that too.No refunds.

Wherein I describe how and why you & I became controlled opposition & punctuate it with a story about Marlon Brando, in which I might be stretching the analogy to its limits.Basically, the real you is who you are and act while driving or dreaming.Yeah, I have opinions.Big deal.No refunds.

Wherein I describe the seemingly double standards applied to Squirrels vs Rats and attempt to describe why they aren’t double standards at all, and if you think they are, you are either a woman or a man who needs to suck it up and grow a pair.I give plenty of evidence for communists to convict me of whatever nonsense they dream up.I take too long to get to the point, as usual, because I don’t edit and zero dollars are being exchanged.No refunds.

Wherein I rant about so called tough guys who are more concerned about being popular than saying & doing the obviously right thing.Also more ranting about women and weak men being programmed by female super hero movies to a degree that they insert themselves into situations that will surely get them killed.I warned you that I am an impatient person, and it shows here.No refunds.

Wherein I make some proposals on how we might rid the world of the disease called “Fame” or at least mitigate some of it’s most harmful effects, using some new tools that some like to classify as AI.I also use the word Parasocial for the first time, as I just learned it from someone commenting on one of my recordings which is awkward considering how I claim that All Media Is Porn.I’m going out on multiple limbs here.I might come crashing down at any moment.Dramatic.Gay.No refunds.

Wherein I once again describe how someone I don’t like reminds me of me.It’s always about me, isn’t it?For Bill, it’s about Bill.He and & have a lot in common and I hate it.I’m better than him though, because, well, this is a problem that is pretty easy to figure out.Anyway, all I wanted was to hear what Woody Allen & Billy Joel had to say, but Bill didn’t let him get a word in edgewise.Sad state of affairs.Jews.No refunds.