PODCAST · comedy
The Salty Bastards Podcast
by The Salty Bastards
“This is The Salty Bastards Podcast — where trauma meets dark humor, and no one’s feelings are safe. We’re your hosts: Chris, Wayne, and Mark — three first responders who’ve had enough of the polite bullshit, or maybe just a little salty.
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Season 2, Episode 3: DJ Danny D!
This week, the Salty Bastards welcome the one and only DJ Danny D to the show! Before we get into the chaos, we kick things off by reminiscing about the old days and swapping stories about the trucks, cars, and rolling death traps we used to drive. From questionable modifications to breakdowns at the worst possible times, it's a nostalgic ride down memory lane filled with horsepower, bad decisions, and plenty of laughs.We also take a trip back to the glory days when we all used to hang out and somehow survived. Danny D gives us a behind-the-scenes look at a day in the life of a DJ, along with the legendary Jack in the Box Hooker Story that absolutely nobody asked for—but everyone needs to hear. Meanwhile, Wayne revisits his infamous drunken adventure involving Jack in the Box tacos, poor decision-making, and what may or may not have been a personal record.As always, Ass Chief storms into the conversation like a raging toddler who skipped nap time and drank three energy drinks, causing the usual chaos and confusion.We also answer listener questions, and while things start off light and hilarious, the conversation takes a few unexpected turns into some real, gritty topics. It's laughs, stories, nostalgia, old trucks, bad choices, and just enough honesty to keep things interesting.And just when you think things couldn't get any more out of hand, Capt and Ass Chief spend the final stretch of the episode doing everything possible to irritate Sheriff Wayne. What starts as harmless poking quickly turns into a full-blown campaign of annoyance, testing Wayne's patience and proving that some friendships are built almost entirely on giving each other a hard time.Grab a drink, buckle up, and join the Bastards for another wild ride that proves growing older doesn't necessarily mean growing up.Warning: This episode contains strong language, questionable life choices, sketchy vehicles, Jack in the Box stories, and the attempted psychological torture of Sheriff Wayne.
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Season 2 Episode 2: 8 Hours, 1 New Boot, and a Whole Lotta Chaos
This week on *The Salty Bastards Podcast*, the crew clocks in for a marathon recap of what happens when you mix EMS, questionable decision-making, and just enough caffeine to make it everyone else’s problem ☕🔥.Sheriff Wayne and Capt take us through their *totally normal* absolutely unhinged 🤪 8-hour EMS shift at a local event—because nothing says “community service” like chaos, dehydration, and people making bad life choices in public 🚑💀. Meanwhile, Capt vents about *that guy*… you know, the new boot goofin’ like he’s starring in his own highlight reel 🎥 while everyone else is just trying to survive the shift. Spoiler: Capt is not impressed 😒.But it’s not all salt and side-eyes—Capt gets real about why he’s been MIA, opening up about the mental demons he’s been wrestling behind the scenes 🧠💭. It’s honest, it’s heavy, and it’s a reminder that even the saltiest among us are still human under the grit ❤️.On a brighter (and much louder 📢) note, Markus Anthony and his absolute saint of a wife welcome a brand new baby boy into the madness 👶🎉—because clearly, this world needed *more* chaos. Congrats to them… and good luck sleeping ever again 😴😂.To top it off, Sheriff Wayne gifts Capt a book 📚—either a heartfelt gesture of friendship or a subtle jab depending on how you read into it 🤔. Honestly, with this crew, it could go either way.It’s laughter, it’s real talk, it’s a little bit reckless, and just the right amount of salty 🧂🔥. Tune in—you’ve earned it 🎧.
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Season 2, Episode 1: Welcome Back!
🔥 The Salty Bastards Podcast – Season 2, Episode 1 🔥WE’RE BACK, YOU GLORIOUS DEGENERATES 😎🍻After what felt like forever, the Salty Bastards have returned from the depths to bless your ears with more chaos, more laughs, and somehow… even worse behavior than before. We missed y’all (seriously… it got weird without you). ❤️This episode kicks off with Capt getting a little too real about what’s been going on in his personal life 😬—don’t worry, we balance it out immediately with absolute nonsense.Then the 4 bastards dive headfirst into FOUR WEEKS of trivia 🧠💥… and somehow Sheriff Wayne goes full savage mode, DOMINATING every single round in under 30 minutes 🏆🤯. It’s honestly disrespectful at this point.Meanwhile, Ass Chief completely loses it 😡, rage-quits like a toddler, and gets demoted to… scorekeeper 📋😂 (arguably his true calling).AND in a shocking, once-in-a-lifetime event…Markus Anthony Copeland DOES NOT GET GROUNDED 🚫🏠👏We repeat… DOES. NOT. GET. GROUNDED.Mark your calendars, people. This may never happen again.Season 2 is coming in HOT 🔥 and we’re telling you right now—👉 it’s gonna be bigger, louder, and way more unhinged than ever before.Strap in, grab a drink 🍺, and prepare yourself…because the bastards are back. 😈
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Episode 7: Merry Christmas! (Christmas Chaos Edition 🎁)
🎄🎁 The Salty Bastards Podcast – Christmas Chaos Edition 🎁🎄Ho ho HOLD MY BEER… it’s a festive episode of The Salty Bastards Podcast! The Bastards swap gifts (some thoughtful, some highly questionable 🎅), share what they’re getting into for Christmas, and spread just enough holiday cheer to stay on Santa’s watch list.🔥 This week’s salty highlights:🎄 What the Bastards are really doing for Christmas (spoiler: it’s not all silent nights).🎒 Mark and Chris break down their Monday competition to see who can last longer on an air pack—lungs vs. ego, place your bets now 💨😤⭐ Wayne and Stelly go head-to-head in a friendly (aka slightly unhinged) debate about the Dallas Cowboys, even though they play in Arlington… yeah, that gets spicy 🌶️🏈🚭🎢 Things get HEATED when Wayne and Stelly clash again over why smoking isn’t allowed in amusement parks… but somehow alcohol is 🤯 Make it make sense!We laugh, we argue, we exchange gifts, and we remind you why you keep coming back for more salty goodness.From all of us Bastards to all of you legends—Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and don’t forget to stay salty! 🎄🥃😈
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Episode 6: The Field Trip
🎙️ Episode 5: “Field Trip, Fat Heads & The Sheriff Rises” 🤠🎄Buckle up, Bastards — Episode 5 is an absolute unit of chaotic storytelling. This week, the crew packs up and takes a field trip to visit our special guest, the incomparable Sterling Andrews AKA Chandler, right in his natural habitat.😎We kick things off recapping the legendary Annual Christmas Party, where Markus Anthony Copeland snagged a major award 🏆… and we’re all just praying it doesn’t go straight to his head. (Markus, if your hat doesn’t fit anymore… we know why. 🎅😂)Then Sterling drops some scholarly knowledge as he explains how he “studies” in what can only be described as a jerk study 🧐✍️💀 — trust us, it’s not what you think… or maybe it is.But the real chaos starts when Sterling and Wayne relive the College Station Story, revealing how Wayne earned his legendary nickname: Sheriff Wayne. 🤠🚓 Spoiler alert: it involves poor decisions, loud confidence, and a level of self-appointment usually reserved for toddlers and dictators. 😂This episode is loaded with laughs, shop talk, questionable science, and Sheriff Wayne’s frontier justice. Don’t miss it — it’s our funniest one yet. 🤣🔥Tune in, buckle up, and stay salty, Batards!
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Episode 5: Wayne's Words of Wisdom
Buckle up, Bastards, because Episode 5 is a rollercoaster of emotions, awkward pauses, and salty wisdom. 🎢💥This week, Wayne takes a break from his usual antics to call his wife live on the air and talk about the epic saga of the birth of his firstborn. Spoiler alert: It involves a hospital, some questionable timing, and a few moments of pure chaos. Think Grey's Anatomy, but with less romance and more panic. 👶🏼🚑😂Then Wayne dives into the book Brotherhood Is a Verb—a thoughtful gift from Captain Robinson. Wayne reads like he’s auditioning for an audiobook... if the book was written in Wayne's language. 📖🗣️ (We think he might skip a chapter or two, but the heart is there.)Meanwhile, Mark has a release, and let’s just say, the guy really needed to vent. If feelings were bricks, we’re pretty sure Mark just built himself a whole new house. 😤🏠💬We’re also joined by Boot, our guest speaker who brings the perfect balance of wisdom, confusion, and possibly snacks—tune in to find out! 👢🎤🍪Wayne then opens up about his first traumatic call in the department. No humor here, just real talk about the weight of those first tough moments. Respectful, raw, and honest. 🙏🖤But don’t worry, things take a hard left turn after that because the SCBA Challenge is ON: Chris vs. Marcus Anthony Copeland. The two Bastards lock in a date, and it’s about to get sweaty—literally. 💪🔥Tune in for hospital chaos, emotional meltdowns, guest wisdom, and a showdown that’s probably going to end with someone passing out.Episode 5 is the perfect mix of salty, heartfelt, and ridiculous. 🧂🤡🔥
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Episode 4: Door X2
Get ready to kick down some laughs in this episode of The Salty Bastards Podcast—Door X2! 🚪💥Join us as we dive into Wayne's infamous door dent saga and hear all about Chris’s wild experience picking up his very first door—on fire! 🔥 We’ll also unravel Wayne's embarrassing moments at TEEX in College Station that had us all cringing and laughing at the same time.Plus, we’ll debate who among us would make the best instructor in this chaotic world of doors and dents. Spoiler alert: it’s not as straightforward as it sounds!So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and prepare for a door-slammin’ good time filled with chaos, camaraderie, and plenty of salty humor!Check out - Blue Collar and Co Barber Shop - 5164 W Round Bunch Rd, Orange, TX 77630. https://www.facebook.com/megthebarber2022Intro music written and created by: Jeff Crabbs
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Episode 3: Box 10
In this episode of the Salty Bastards Podcast, we’re thrilled to welcome a special guest who’s stepping in as our fourth bastard! 🎉 Join us as we dive into the hilarity of our daily lives, share some wild stories, and unveil our exciting new BOX 10.Get ready for laughter, chaos, and a few surprises along the way! It’s okay to embrace the madness—after all, we’re all in this together. Tune in for a fun-filled episode that reminds us that even in the craziest moments, laughter is the best remedy.
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Episode 2: Getting Things Corrected
On this episode of the SBP, we bring on our first guest, get to know who the guest bastard is, hear an update about all of the events that have taken place in one week, and get to understand the different leadership styles in the fire service.
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Episode 1: Who The Hell Are We?!
Welcome to the first episode of The Salty Bastards Podcast! Join your host(s) Chris, Wayne, and Mark! On this first episode, join in on us and get to know who we are, and how we met!
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
“This is The Salty Bastards Podcast — where trauma meets dark humor, and no one’s feelings are safe. We’re your hosts: Chris, Wayne, and Mark — three first responders who’ve had enough of the polite bullshit, or maybe just a little salty.
HOSTED BY
The Salty Bastards
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