The Seth Forgets Podcast

Embarrassment is something I was taught to avoid at all costs but as I got older I realized that embarrassment is a highly underrated experience.When we are embarrassed it means we took a chance. We got up off the couch and got out of our comfort zone. Being embarrassed might not feel comfortable but what it means is significant.So much of our life passes us by whether we’d like it or not. And when we protect ourselves, when we stay inside our comfort zone, even more of it slips through our fingers.I’m not saying put yourself in danger but I am saying that really good stories come from saying yes to things even when we think we should say no.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I love to wander. But the word implies a lack of direction or plan. And that might be true but also it isn’t. Sometimes having no plan is the plan and getting lost is sometimes the only way to find our way.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Exploring the Queen Mary was like getting stuck in a Funhouse. But without the mirrors. I went to stay two nights at the Queen Mary for my birthday this year. I didn’t realize it was a floating hotel. It was so fun and so expensive. Everything there was in increments of $80. But. I had the best night sleep I’ve had in years. Something about the ocean breeze and the ghosts wandering the hallways comforted me. I went on a walk with my girlfriend. Every plan we made the Universe slapped down. But we yielded. We didn’t fight it. And we had the best time. Sometimes letting go is the best way to move forward.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yesterday, I had a follow up to a physical with my doctor at Kaiser Permanente. My doctor got so mad at me. She said I was wasting her time and she was not here to chase down every ache and pain for me. She suggested in a very unkind way that I needed medicine for anxiety not for an illness. The way she handled it was wrong. I think she must have been having a bad day. But I also think she was right. Anxiety can express itself in physical form. The last few years have been overwhelmingly stressful for me. So many life changes. Career, relationship, all of it. But my take away isn’t anger at my doctor (although I will never let her treat me again). The lesson here is deal with your shit. Nothing ever truly goes away. You have to turn over the stones and find the hidden things to really heal yourself.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's not what we do it's why we do it. And it goes further than that. When we do things because we love others, we often heal ourselves in the process.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If given the chance, what would you do if you could go back to the beginning with all the knowledge you have now? I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BaditudesI record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being WrongI record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Old WaysI record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pain is something we should avoid, right? Wrong. Pain is a teacher. It shows us the things we don't want to see so we might learn from them. We should love our pain not scorn it.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trauma and emotionsI record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

RelationshipsI record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I was thinking today about loss. When we lose everything it feels like the end of the world but it can also be an opportunity. What possessions do we take with us when go to zero?I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

EndingsFor the season finale I took it to the streets. Instead of just talking to myself in this episode I asked my friends what they thought about endings. Why should I do all the heavy lifting??? Thank you to Nika, Bryan, Jed, Vincent and Andy. You are all more special than you know.Please enjoy the end of season 1. See you next year.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Contradictions are not what we think. Two things can be truth even if they appear to negate each other because we're asking the wrong questions. When we look at the world through a binary lens (right wrong good bad) we will see contradictions. But they aren't opposites at all. Our POV sometimes distorts what we see.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's so easy to hold a grudge. When someone hurts us we never want to let them off the hook. But people are not their actions. It might seem counter intuitive but even if a person does a bad thing that might not make them a bad person. And when we find the ability to forgive someone that has wronged us, we also find the ability to forgive ourselves.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Healing is nonlinear and backwards and tough.There is no wrong way to heal. We can numb ourselves. We can talk to people. We can distract ourselves. The only wrong way to heal is by doing nothing.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Change is always happening. Good change and bad. When we fight it our worlds fall apart. I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancing alone is the best way to meet yourself.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lifeboats save us from disaster but they're not meant to be a forever home.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Balance to me is not happy or comfortable. It's neutral. I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hobbies are important. We need things in our lives that have little or no stakes. We need to enjoy just being. A hobby is just that. Why do we do things that have no value other than enjoyment? Because our value is not our productivity. I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.Today’s topic is taboo. We’re not supposed to think about it or talk about it. But it’s necessary. We all have dark thoughts and hiding them is never a good thing.If you’re thinking about ending at all, don’t. There are many versions of living you can explore.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Crying is a physical reaction to the emotion stored inside of us. As men we're told not to cry. Crying as weakness. And it causes so many problems. We can be strong and be sad and cry all at the same time.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Addiction is such a powerful experience. It feels so good. There is no part of it that feels wrong. At first. I went down the Benzo rabbit hole in my 30s. I loved those pills. I didn't feel high. I felt nothing which is all I wanted. I didn't want to feel anything and these little gifts from god solved everything. At first. Then my body started to breakdown. My panic attacks became near constant and my body buzzed like I was being electrocuted. My then wife helped me navigate getting off them because no doctor would even admit they were the source of my issues. What I realized after it was all over was the addiction wasn't me chasing a feeling. It was chasing the numbness.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Loving Kindness" - The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema ChodronI record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Change. It seems like a good thing. If I change something, I’ll be better. If I can just learn from my mistakes, I’ll be better. But change is weird. The goal should not be to change ourselves. The goal should be to accept ourselves. The only thing that ever actually changes is our point of view, our opinions. What does it tell us about changes? The change we need is not about ourselves, but in our point of view.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All ghosts love each other. I started working on this concept in 2018. I came up with the idea when I noticed that the only romantic partners I was connecting with was through trauma. We were trauma bonding (although at the time I didn’t know that term).When two ghosts haunt a house they can sometimes fall in love. They’ve gone unseen for so long that when someone finally notices them they might mistake it for intimacy and love. It’s not the worst thing in the world. But it doesn’t lay a good foundation for a relationship.It took me years to figure out who was a ghost and who wasn’t because there’s another type of person. The Shaman. These are people that can cross a boundary and return. Unlike a ghost, they are never stuck. Unless they forget who they are.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Spinning out. We all have moments where we get so overwhelmed that we lose our ability for rational thought. I think some of us do it more than others but there’s always something that sends us down a rabbit hole. The most important thing I’ve learned in the last six years that I can weather a lot of storms. Not all of them, but most of them. I haven’t failed yet. But I see how I spend so much energy on trying to protect myself from what might happen. That energy is best spent in the moment. Being present. That is the way to live a life.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guilt and shame. These two terms are often confused with each other. I know I didn’t understand the difference for years. Guilt is the belief you did something wrong, shame is the belief you are the thing that is wrong.For me, I always default to shame. It’s something I struggle with a lot. I think a lot of us do. It’s important to know that we are never the thing that is wrong. It’s our actions that define us, not our being.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Years ago I worked on a job in Mexico and I fell in love with a woman. We got married and created a life together. Along the way I found I not only loved her, I loved her country as well.That marriage ended earlier this year. I have to figure out what my relationship is to Mexico. What’s left for me? Twenty years of visiting a place that I have no real connection to anymore but I still feel in my bones. Mexico became a part of me.I now start the journey of re-creating a relationship with a place I cannot live without.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Like attracts like. It's ironic that sometimes the thing we hate is the thing we invited in. What I found over the years of trying to right my ship was that I usually caused the issue I was struggling with. If we are in a bad space, generally speaking, we will only have access to people on our same level. It's up to us to make the changes so we can meet different energy.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trust is a hard one for me. I grew up in a love insecure environment and that set me off on a path of a lifetime struggle to figure out how to let people in. My love life has always been a mess. I think my marriage is the only bright and shining moment... so far. But every other relationship I’ve ever had has been fraught with insecurity and doubt and protectionism. I always see walls.In this episode, I talk about some very hard things for me. These are my scars. These are the things I went through. I’m exposing them now with the hopes that somebody might hear it and know that they’re not alone.I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.