The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss

#149. What is it like to choose hope in the dark? To face the grief of losing your sight?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #66 of 101: Loss of eyesightIn this episode, we spoke to Yahya Pandor from Wiltshire, England, an advocate for the blind, para-athlete (runner), qualified counsellor, and World Record holder. Yahya lost his eyesight in 2021 at the age of 25 years old, due to a combination of Macular Degeneration and Toxoplasmosis. In just 10 months, he went from enjoying life with vision, to finding his way in a dark world.Yahya shared the unique challenges of being blind, what this kind of grief was like for him, what he misses most, and what sighted people probably take for granted the most. For more about Yahya, visit:https://www.instagram.com/yahyapandor94https://www.insight-counselling.orghttps://www.youtube.com/@the_blind_runnerhttps://www.tiktok.com/@isapandor Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#148.  How can a metaphorical telescopic tree pruner help us with grief? Let's find out.This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.And in this episode, I’m looking at how a tree pruner (given to us by Jared Altic, in his Let’s Chat episode about being a Police Chaplain, can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.Listen to Jared's full episode, Let’s Chat… Police Chaplains, here:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/79748b98/lets-chat-police-chaplains-with-jared-alticIf all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshedIf you want to hear more from Jared, he was also Loss 56 of 101, talking about dealing with loss, grief and death daily in his role as a Police Chaplain:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4b8bb873/loss-2101-loss-of-both-parents-to-dementia-katie-elliottPlus, he has a fantastic podcast called 'Hey, Chaplain': https://heychaplain.buzzsprout.com/Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#147.  How can a metaphorical Swiss Army Knife help us with self-awareness? Let's find out.This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.And in this episode, I’m looking at how a Swiss Army Knife (given to us by Katie Elliott, in her Let’s Chat episode about Self-Awareness), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.Listen to Katie's full episode, Let’s Chat… Self-Awareness, here:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7b7d32af/lets-chat-self-awareness-with-katie-elliottAmiko cards and poster:https://www.littlechallenges.com/store If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshedIf you want to hear more from Katie, she was also Loss 2 of 101, talking about the loss of both parents to dementia:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4b8bb873/loss-2101-loss-of-both-parents-to-dementia-katie-elliottSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#146. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them.So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (but not this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one).Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast).In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Wolvercote Cemetery in Oxford, England - because there was one very special grave there that we wanted to see... that of the author, JRR Tolkien.  So, come with us to hear our impromptu musings as we explore where one of the world's most famous authors is buried.For the photos that accompany this episode, so you can visualise what we're talking about, visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/graveyard-musings-goes-to-oxfordIf you want to hear more episodes like this, check out:Graveyard Musings, Tyne Cot & Ypres, Belgium: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7f63d7e9/graveyard-musings-tyne-cot-and-ypres-belgiumGraveyard Musings, Moorslede, Belgium: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/15249654-graveyard-musings-moorslede-belgiumGraveyard Musings: Llanfair Talhaiarn, Wales:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7e418cc4/graveyard-musings-llanfair-talhaiarn-walesGraveyard Musings: Gloucestershire, England (Part 1 of 3):https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76b3f1f7/graveyard-musings-gloucestershire-england-part-1Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#145.  How can a metaphorical bag of compost help us get through grief? Let's find out.This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.And in this episode, I’m looking at how a bag of compost (given to us by Dr Colleen Crary, in her Let’s Chat episode about PTSD), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.Listen to Colleen’s full episode, Let’s Chat… PTSD, here:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/772c3bcd/lets-chat-ptsd-with-dr-colleen-crary If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshedSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#144.  How can a metaphorical spade help us get through grief? Let's find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.And in this episode, I’m looking at how the spade (given to us by Sue Brayne, in her Let’s Chat episode about mortality), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the intro episode I put out first:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.Listen to Sue’s full episode, Let’s Chat… Mortality, here:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4c89d4f7/lets-chat-mortality-with-sue-brayne If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshedIf you want to hear more from Sue, she was also Loss 1 of 101, talking about the loss of her marriage:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4bbf824b/loss-1101-loss-of-a-marriage-sue-brayneSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#143.  How can we make sure we have the right tools when we face grief? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.After a short break, I’m back with a brand-new series of episodes. It’s called The Grief Toolshed.In this series, I’ll be revisiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#142. Well, it's finally here. Another new year. How are you feeling as we head into 2026?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.New Year's aren't easy for many people, so wherever you find yourself emotionally, this short episode is here to offer you a bit of hope and encouragement for the days ahead, and remind you that you're not alone if your year hasn’t started as you hoped. Plus, I share about a recent loss we've been going through, and explain why there might be a bit of a delay before the next episode is released.And here are the links to read, or listen to, the blogs I mention:Know Hope:https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/14113284-blog-my-why-know-hopeWe've all got triggers, but did you know you have glimmers too?:https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/12776245-blog-my-why-we-ve-all-got-triggers-but-did-you-know-you-have-glimmers-too Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#141. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. It's not an easy time of year, and it’s been a season of both highs and lows for us too over the years. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.Each year, we share a Christmas episode where we check in with how we’re really feeling about the festive season, childlessness, and everything that comes with it. Some years, we’re coping well. Other years, not so much. So where are we in 2025? You'll have to tune in to find out, but a sneak peek would tell you that we chat about; what it's like being back in a cold, wintery, Christmasy UK (after 8 weeks in Australia), how we're both feeling about being childless, what a visit to our local cathedral was like, and, of course, the vital importance of Christmas food.If you’d like to explore our previous Christmas episodes and blogs (as mentioned in the episode, plus more), you’ll find them all here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmasOur past Christmas episodes range from 'Chris' Loss of Christmas Spirit' (2021), to feeling hopeful and joyful (2024) and everything in between, plus, there's bucket loads of tips for gently rebuilding hope if the season feels a bit heavy this year.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#140. How's our big trip 'Down Under' going? This is where you find out. Again.Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast with a mission to open-up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. But right now, things are a little different!Take a listen to the previous episode to get a better idea what this one is going to be all about. We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time in Singapore and Australia. In this episode, we update you on our trip up the coast of Western Australia.This episode includes what's surprised, shocked and delighted us about the Aussie people, what wildlife we've seen (and held! 😉), what it's like to visit some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and... flies!!Plus, you know we love to share the deep stuff too, so we also chat about how our expectations of this holiday have had to change, how being childless has affected us while away, and thoughts about the podcast in general and who it's really for.Check out our Facebook and Instagram to see the cool kangaroo video we chat about. Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#139. How's our big trip going so far? This is where you find out.Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast on a mission to open up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss - but right now, things are a little different!If you've heard the previous episode, you'll have a good idea what this one is going to be all about. We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time down under. In this episode, we update you on our trip so far via Singapore to Western Australia.And since recording (just a few hours ago), we've already remembered plenty of things we forgot to mention; like how warm the sea was in Singapore, the unexpectedly delicious ice cream sandwiches (thanks Mel!), the luge rides, the different Maltesers, and the glorious abundance of Earl Grey tea over here. No doubt those stories, and many more, will make their way into a future episode. So far we've seen and experienced some amazing things, but we've also had some disappointments, and you know us - we love to share it all with you, so tune in, and join us.Plus, for videos of the kookaburra and bobtail lizard we mention, find us on social media.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#138. We're off on an Ozzie adventure!But, first things first, as promised, the all-important anonymous form: 👉 https://forms.gle/LmFrrd4xvvnEhG5R9  👈  (it'll make sense when you've listened to the episode!)Welcome to The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.This episode is a little different, because we recorded in an unusual location about a very unusual topic!We (Chris & Claire) are embarking on an adventure. For the rest of this year, we won’t be releasing our usual fortnightly episodes - primarily because we’re heading down under for a while - but this doesn't mean we'll be Silent. Why? Listen to find out.Oh, and about that ticking clock… no, you’re not going mad - I don't think you can hear it!Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#137. Can losing a friend be overlooked in our culture? What happens when the friend who knew you best is gone? And why are there so few resources to help with this kind of grief?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #65 of 101: Loss of a friendIn this episode, we meet Hannah Rumsey from Chicago. She's the founder of Friends Missing Friends, a community she created for people navigating the loss of a friend. And Hannah’s work grew out of her own story, when in 2015 her best friend Lauren died suddenly.Hannah shares about the deep bond she and Lauren had, Lauren’s incredible zest for life, and the devastating way she first learned of her death - while posting a birthday message on Facebook.Together, we explored the unique challenges of grieving a friend, and why this grief can feel invisible or minimised, how few resources exist for friend-loss grief, despite how common it is, and the surprising ways healing, and hope, can unfold over time.This is a heartfelt and open conversation about a form of grief that isn’t often acknowledged, yet touches so many lives.And for listeners who enjoyed my behind-the-scenes episode on how to make a podcast - there's a little bonus in this episode - some unedited audio that shows just how in sync Chris and I are with our questioning. 👌For more about Hannah, Friends Missing Friends, and her podcast:https://www.friendsmissingfriends.comhttps://www.instagram.com/friendsmissingfriendshttps://www.facebook.com/friendsmissingfriends http://friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/friendsmissingfriendsSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#136. (We'll... we've actually done 226 episodes in total. You'll hear me talk about the annoying decision around episode numbering in this 226th episode!)This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.This episode is a little different. No blog, no interview, no Chris, and no focus on loss. It’s just you and me, pulling back the curtain for a behind-the-scenes peek at how I create this podcast.I often get asked:- What does it really take to produce an episode?- Can podcasting make money?- How do you find guests?Today, I’m answering those questions (and more) while walking you through my own process of hosting, producing, and publishing a show.Plus, if you’ve ever thought about starting your own podcast, this episode will give you a real sense of the time, effort, and resources involved. As well as some lessons I’ve learned along the way.A huge thank you to everyone who supports this podcast and helps keep it going.Special gratitude goes to our “I Love The Silent Why” members and above, on Buy Me a Coffee, who not only get a shout-out on the website but deserve a mention here too: Evelyn Calaunan, Peter Ellis, Jackie Waring, Diane Fopp, Greg Williams, and Emily Luckham. You’re amazing, and I’m so grateful for you.Thanks also to those who support through one-offs or other levels on Buy Me a Coffee, and of course to everyone who tunes in each week. I truly couldn’t do this without you.To learn more about the show, about Chris and me, our childless journey through loss, Herman, and everything else, visit: www.thesilentwhy.comSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#135. How do we accept, and live with, a life we never really wanted?Welcome to another My Why Blog episode - where I share the audio version of my latest blog post. But in this case, it’s actually a re-release of the most popular blog episode I’ve ever put out (to my surprise!).If you’ve been listening a while, you’ll know I usually pause podcasting in August to focus on writing and other projects. But this August is a little different, and I explain why in the intro.If you’d rather read the blog, you’ll find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/acceptingalifeidontwant (with the video and song links included).This post grew out of a rather heavy Easter weekend, when I found myself asking questions like:What if life never turns out the way we hoped?If acceptance feels impossible, how do we ever begin to heal and move forward?I suspect more people than we realise are quietly wrestling with these same questions. Grieving the life you imagined, and learning to accept the one you have, is not easy. And while I don’t claim to have figured it out yet, I’m convinced it’s a vital step if we want to keep moving forward.You can explore more blogs to read, or listen to, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/blogA few examples:What happens if I let go?:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/whathappensifiletgoDisappointed with life:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/disappointment-with-lifeYou're not the only one:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/yourenottheonlyoneNavigating Mother's Day when you're childless:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7a23238b/navigating-mothers-day-when-youre-childlessLost Inside, where am I? (my experience with PMDD): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/lostinsideSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#134. Let's chat... about finding hope after feeling hopeless as a young widow.Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with Rachel Powell from Colorado. She’s a life coach, speaker, author, and founder of Hope Speaker, where she supports widows in moving from a place of hopelessness and loneliness to one of healing, and confident steps forward.Rachel lost her husband, Andre, to suicide in June 2019, and she was left raising four children: their two-year-old daughter and three of her biological nieces and nephew.In this conversation, Rachel shares how hard this journey was for her and the darkness that led her to attempt to take her own life. But as a person who's passionate about hope, we also talk about how she found hope again, what part her Christian faith has played in her healing, and why she now speaks so passionately about her experience. Rachel’s faith has been a big part of her healing, and while we don’t often delve into religion on this podcast, it’s important to see the different ways people find hope through grief. This episode is a powerful reminder that faith in God doesn’t guarantee an easier path. Rachel offers wisdom and encouragement for all of us — whether you’ve experienced partner loss or are simply wondering what that journey might look like.For more about Rachel, and the resources we mention, visit:www.hopespeaker.comFaceboook: https://www.facebook.com/HopeSpeakerRachelPowellInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/hope_speaker/Free Resources: www.hopespeaker.com/library If you are interested in working 1:1 with Rachel for widow support, learn more at www.hopespeaker.com/coachingTo contact Rachel: [email protected] us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#133. “Grief isn’t sad – because it reminds you to make the most of today.”  Curious about how Richard has reached this conclusion after losing his wife? Hit play and find out. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #64 of 101: Loss of a wifeIn this episode, we meet Richard Smith, whose wife Heather died of breast cancer in 2014, leaving him as a solo parent to their three children, aged 15, 14, and 11.Recorded on the exact anniversary of Heather’s death, Richard opens up about the past 11 years of navigating his grief as a widower, the evolving nature of loss, and how he keeps Heather's presence alive in a way that continues to shape his life today.In this conversation, we explored the emotional journey of losing a partner (while raising grieving children), how grief has changed for Richard over the last decade, the difference between sadness and grief, and why Richard sees grief as a meaningful part of life.This episode is a profound reflection on love, loss, and resilience, offering comfort and perspective to any of us facing grief. More on Richard:His blog about telling his children their mum is dying: https://www.sueryder.org/blog/richards-story-telling-our-children-their-mum-was-dying/The Pensions Dashboard: https://www.dashboardideas.co.uk/about/ Richard's straight line walk across the UK in 2019: http://www.52inbritain.co.uk/ Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#132. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And that’s what this short episode is all about. Oh, and the beautiful sounds of the Mediterranean Sea that I recorded when we were in Cyprus. Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope. These very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.  Less than 7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me (Claire Sandys, podcast host) in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while. And for this episode, I'm asking you to sit on the beach with me in Cyprus, in front of the Mediterranean Sea, as the water laps at our feet, and just take a moment to pause. Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#131. Let's chat... about where the love goes when someone dies. Can you still be 'in love' if it's not reciprocated? Does it eventually fade? Or die?Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with David Kelly from Hertfordshire, who works as a Community Engagement Coordinator at Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care.David reached out after a previous conversation Chris & I had on the podcast about love and grief. We’d asked: Where does the love go when someone dies? David offered such a thoughtful response on an Instagram message that I invited him on the podcast to explore it further.David shares from both personal experience - having lost his wife, Beverly, to cancer - and his deep understanding of grief models. Together, we unpack questions around love after loss: Does it stay the same? Can it fade? What does it mean to continue loving someone who’s gone? How does it work when we find new love? Can you love two people with all your heart?This is a thoughtful, moving conversation about grief, love, and how we try to make sense of both.Links from David for more information on what he shared: Dual Process Model: https://whatsyourgrief.com/dual-process-model-of-grief/Tonkin’s ‘Grow Around Grief’ Model: https://whatsyourgrief.com/growing-around-grief/Continuing Bonds Theory: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-concept-care-continuing-bonds/Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding diverse grieving styles by Kenneth Doka & Terry Martin - https://amzn.eu/d/et82ZghGrief and gender: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-and-gender-a-preamble/Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#130. Not all losses are bereavements. Sometimes they follow a diagnosis and impact someone for the rest of their life, like with our guest in this episode.This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #63 of 101: Loss through chronic illness - LupusIn this episode, we meet Olivia Abousaid - a grief coach based in Los Angeles who lives with the autoimmune disease Lupus. Olivia shares the lesser-seen grief that comes with chronic illness - losses that don’t always get named or acknowledged.We explore the impact of Lupus on daily life and identity, the challenging task of letting go of independence and learning to ask for help, navigating invisible grief as both a coach and a patient, the mental weight of “shoulds” and societal expectations, and finding agency and hope amidst physical limitations.From missing out on sunny afternoons with friends to facing the fatigue that alters routines and dreams, Olivia’s story speaks to anyone who has experienced loss through ill health, medical diagnosis, or an unexpected change in life’s trajectory.This is a powerful conversation about learning to grieve what’s gone, while choosing to hope in what remains.To find out more about Olivia, visit: www.pact-coaching.comwww.instagram.com/pact_coachinghttps://linktr.ee/pactcoachingSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#129. What are the most valuable things we've learnt - or think really matter - after 20 years of marriage?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.On 26 May 2025, we celebrated 20 years of marriage! It's a big deal for us as we love being married and find we don't have that much to celebrate in life! So we decided to sit down and discuss what we've learnt over the past two decades, and share what we believe have been the most important ingredients in keeping our marriage as healthy and strong as possible.And since we host a podcast, we thought 'why not record it for you to hear too?'So that's exactly what we did. No editing (just the music and usual polish), a Sunday afternoon chat - published on Monday night.In the build-up, we each wrote down our top five things we think have made the biggest difference in our relationship, but we didn’t share them with each other in advance. Were there overlaps? Surprises? Disagreements? You'll have to listen to find out!If you’d like to hear more about us, especially our story around infertility and childlessness, you can hear us open up in a similar way in Loss 3: Loss of Fertility - https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/492a29c1/loss-3101-loss-of-fertility-chris-and-claire-sandys-part-1Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#128. Did you know you can build mental muscles, as well as physical ones? And that you can start that any time - no matter how weak you might feel?Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/how-to-build-mental-muscles-when-you-re-feeling-weakFlexing your mental muscles is like training your body - it takes time and consistency. But once you start, they grow stronger and more reliable.  In this episode, I’m sharing the tips and tools that helped me through tough times, including practical ways to stay grounded and protect your sanity and your relationships. Think of this as a mental workout: exercises to support you when your mind feels hormonal/confused/frustrated/depressed/griefy [you fill in the gap].If you’re aware that you’re not always your best self - snapping at loved ones, stuck in negative thought spirals, or simply struggling to cope with your own mind - this episode is for you.(And if you’re supporting someone who’s feeling that way, it might help you too.)For more on the Amiko Cards I mention: https://www.littlechallenges.com/store Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#127.  Think menopause is just a physical change?What if we told you it can also bring grief, loss of identity, and a hit to your mental health?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #62 of 101: Loss through menopauseIn this episode, we welcome Diane Danzebrink, advocate, educator, and author of Making Menopause Matter. Diane experienced surgical menopause following surgery related to a potential ovarian cancer diagnosis in 2012. What followed was a mental and emotional decline that she never expected, and a battle few talk about openly. This topic is especially close to our hearts. In 2019, Claire (your host) was also thrust into surgical menopause following a total hysterectomy, so we’ve been waiting to find the right person to speak to about the unique grief and loss tied to menopause. And we definitely found her!Diane brings both lived experience and professional dedication to this conversation. She works tirelessly to support women through the often-invisible losses of menopause while campaigning for improved education, awareness, and support. In this heartfelt episode, Diane speaks openly about the loss of identity, confidence, stability, and mental health, and how she ultimately transformed her pain into purpose. Whether you’re going through menopause, supporting someone who is, or simply want to better understand this transition, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and hope.To find out more about Diane, her book and her work:https://dianedanzebrink.com https://menopausesupport.co.uk/My blog on PMDD: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/lostinsideOur story with loss of fertility & childlessness: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/492a29c1/loss-of-fertility-chris-and-claire-sandys-part-1Sadly, since the podcast aired, the group I mentioned, Together in Surgical Menopause, had to close as a group.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#126. Let's Chat... about seeing grief as an adventure.Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.In this episode, I (Claire) have the pleasure of talking with Bianca Neumann, the Assistant Director of Bereavement at Sue Ryder – a charity dedicated to providing the right support, at the right time, for people who are end of life or grieving.We explore the idea of grief as an adventure - what it is, what it isn’t, and how we can navigate its unfamiliar terrain. Bianca shares insights on how grief is often misrepresented, the power of support groups, and why learning to self-soothe in sorrow matters.We also talk about the idea that while we can’t choose our losses, we can choose how we respond. And we reflect on one powerful question: What do you want from life?Also, Bianca adds a tool to my metaphorical shed, which is bursting with resources to help us grow through grief.For more about Bianca and Sue Ryder's work (including their Grief Kind Spaces), visit:https://www.sueryder.org/authors/bianca-neumann/https://www.sueryder.org/our-campaigns/grief-deserves-better/https://www.sueryder.org/grief-support/Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#125. What impact can possessions have on grief? The lack of them, the loss of them, too many of them etc.This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #61 of 101: Loss of possessionsIn this episode we welcome Naomi Westerman, a playwright, screenwriter, and author from South East London. Naomi's experienced profound loss from a young age, and with that, the difficult task of sorting through her loved ones’ possessions.Naomi shares about the emotional weight of dealing with a parent's belongings after they die, the unexpected and sometimes painful discoveries made during this process, and how our personal experiences, relationships, and circumstances shape the way we interact with these items.She also talks openly about her two-year journey to sort through her mum’s house and the surprising childhood object she still treasures, and the special jumper she chose for her dad’s burial.Naomi has also wrestled with the difficult "why" questions that can arise in grief – Why me? Why did this happen? So, she shares with us what has helped her find healing, connection, and hope. To find out more about Naomi and her book, Happy Death Club, visit:http://www.naomiwesterman.comhttp://www.happydeathclub.orghttp://www.instagram.com/naomi_writes_deathSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#124. Let's Chat... about how writing and running can help us through grief.Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I sit down with guests who have personal insight into different aspects of loss.In this episode, I (Claire) have the pleasure of talking with fellow podcaster and writer, Justin Creps. Justin is a teacher based in Ohio and co-hosts the podcast Writing in Progress, which is how I first discovered him.Justin and I share a deep love for podcasting and writing - though he’s also an avid runner, which is where our similarities take a sharp turn! But when I learned how both writing and running helped him process grief, I was keen to chat about it.Justin had shared a powerful blog post with me, one he wrote in 2022 about navigating the grief of his wife’s miscarriage. His story is a moving reminder that we all process loss in our own ways, and it sparked an important conversation about the role of creativity in grief.In this episode, we explore writing as a tool for processing grief (fiction or nonfiction), how life’s hardest moments shape us as writers, the unexpected ways helping others can also help us heal, and how running plays an important role in Justin’s journey.This is an honest, heartfelt conversation about grief, resilience, and the power of storytelling. I can’t wait for you to hear it.Find out more: Justin and his writing: https://www.justincreps.com 'Hey Logan' blog post: https://jmcmarathon.blogspot.com/2022/02/hey-logan.html?view=flipcard  '"Why did it matter?" - My final thoughts to the class of '22' blog post: https://jmcmarathon.blogspot.com/2022/06/why-did-it-matter-my-final-thoughts-to.html?view=flipcard'The Red Line' blog post: https://jmcmarathon.blogspot.com/2021/04/the-red-line.html?view=flipcardWriting in Progress podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1124339 https://www.instagram.comSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#123. Can hope be found in 101 different types of loss? We're well on our way to finding out, as we reach another milestone! We've hit loss number 60 on our mission to explore 101 different types of permanent loss, meaning we only have 41 (!) to go. Now over halfway to our goal.In this episode, we (Chris & Claire Sandys) pause briefly to discuss life in general (something new we thought we'd try!), the last batch of losses (51-60), and what nuggets of wisdom we've taken from each guest.We're loving every second of talking to others on this podcast, but we're also learning a lot about healthy ways to process our own grief, whether childlessness, pets, relatives, friends, health, or even just the day-to-day losses we sometimes face.And the not-yet-famous-but-might-be-one-day 'Hermontage' is back! As we, once again, mix together the last 10 guests' Hermans. If you don't know what a Herman is, check out the link below.Huge thanks to Thea Rickard, Mark Field, Laura Burns, Lisa Newman, Kay Backhouse, Jared Altic, Rachel Hart, Dannie-Lu Carr, Ken Anderson and Bex Eyles.If you'd like to see our guests and encourage them, pop over to our social media for the latest collage of their lovely faces and hit 'like'.Full list of our 101 losses: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/101lossesSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#122. Let's Chat... about how the Covid pandemic reshaped important death rituals.These 'Let’s Chat' episodes are conversations with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss. In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Natasha Mikles who is an assistant professor at Texas State University.Natasha is a scholar of stories about death and what happens next, and researches traditions related to death and grief around the world (especially in Tibet and the Americas). Her most recent book, ‘Shattered Grief: How the Pandemic Transformed the Spirituality of Death in America’, examines how Covid-19 affected the spirituality of death and the grieving rituals surrounding it. Grief is not just a personal experience, it is a community journey shaped by rituals that connect us to the dead and each other. This conversation reveals how Covid-19 drastically altered the rituals we rely on during loss, redefining our understanding of mourning.We explore the fascinating world of death rituals across different cultures, including the Tibetan sky burial ceremony. Natasha and I reflect on how the pandemic forced religious communities to innovate, balancing tradition with contemporary needs, often using technology as a bridge to maintain connection in times of isolation.This episode discusses the vital role of community in mourning, the psychological impact of Covid-related deaths, the importance of ritual, how other cultures and religions honour and recognise death, and how Covid-grief can differ from other forms of grief. Plus, how you can have your body eaten by vultures in the US ...legally! For more about Natasha: www.hellscholar.com For her book: https://cup.columbia.edu/book/shattered-grief/9780231558921Amazon: https://gogl.to/3Mzd  Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#121. Go on, be honest, can you understand why someone who's getting remarried, or celebrating a miracle pregnancy, or beginning a new job, might be experiencing some unhappiness alongside the cheer?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #60 of 101: Loss in happy life transitionsIn this episode, we meet Bex Eyles from Berkshire in England. She's a professional counsellor who joined us to talk about the sneaky grief that can weave its way into life’s celebrations.And we feel it’s important to say that just because grief can show up in these moments it doesn’t mean joy and gratitude aren’t there too. Bex, like so many others, has felt immense happiness and gratitude in her life’s changes, but she’s also honest about the unexpected emotions that surfaced at the same time, and we're really grateful she was happy to explore these with us.Bex has navigated bereavement, divorce, fertility struggles and loss of time, and opens up about the unexpected emotions like fear, loss and guilt, that came with suddenly being pregnant after believing it might never happen. She talks about the joy, the fear of finally having what she longed for, and how, as a counsellor, she navigated her grief and processed these complex feelings.Acknowledging the emotions of loss in a joyful life transition doesn’t diminish the happiness or gratitude felt in those moments. Both can coexist, and that’s okay.For more about Bex visit: www.pineforesttherapies.comSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#120. Well, after our 'looking ahead to Christmas' episode, how did it go? Were our festive hearts filled with joy? Or were there tears?!This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.Every year, we dedicate an episode to sharing our thoughts and feelings about the Christmas season - before, and after, it happens. Now that the holiday buzz has settled and a new year has begun, we’re back to reflect on how Christmas 2024 unfolded, whether our intentional choices helped us enjoy it, and how we’re stepping into 2025.Includes; Sherlock Holmes, cinnamon buns, advent calendars, and Chris' meat monologue explaining Meat Chicken!And if you want some questions to reflect on as you enter a new year, here's the 10 we mention in the episode:1. Personal high moment/experience for you individually this year.2. Personal lowest moment of the year.3. Joint best memory4. Joint hardest memory.5. Biggest personal dream you have for the future.6. Biggest fear you have for the future.7. Something you don't want to take into next year.8. Something you really want to take into next year.9. 3 things you want to achieve this year.10. 3 things you want to stop/be better at/improve on.To listen to our pre-Christmas episode, 'Chris and Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-up', visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/793f6bd9/chris-and-claires-chatty-christmas-catch-upSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#119. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And that’s what this short episode is all about. Oh, and the beautiful sounds of a distant thunderstorm that I recorded in Belgium. Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope. These very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.  Less than 7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me (Claire Sandys, podcast host) in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while. And for this episode I'm asking you to sit by a window with me and watch the beautiful storm on the horizon from our Air BnB in Belgium. Listen to the rain and thunder, watch the lightning and take a moment to think about things as you enter a new year. Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#118. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. As a childless couple, we've been there too, especially when family is at the heart of so many celebrations. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.Every year we release an episode where we chat about how we're feeling about Christmas. We started with an episode in 2021, talking about how hard it felt and Chris' loss of Christmas spirit, then we did another in 2022 (Finding Comfort at Christmas - which included other podcast guests' experiences), and in 2023 we had 'Chris & Claire chat Christmas and Childlessness', and now here we are again with all things Christmassy, Chrissy and Clairey.In this episode we chat about how we're finding the lead up to Christmas this year, how we feel about being childless and how that's changed over the years, what our hopes are going forwards, and lots of other stuff that pops up. Including, a flu-inspired Chris yelling 'Mistletoe' a few times!All the other Christmas and New Year episodes and blogs we mention, that you might want to check out if you're struggling this year, can be found on one page: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmasAnd don't forget, if you're feeling alone, we're always here and we love to hear from you.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#117.  What do you do when the career you love is gone, and you're barely staying afloat? And why is helping yourself so much harder than helping others? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #59 of 101: Loss of a police career and self worthIn this episode, we meet Ken Anderson from York, England; a retired police officer whose life took an unexpected turn after a nearly 20-year career as a response officer, firearms officer, and trainer.Ken's front-line career came to an abrupt end after a serious car crash, during a police chase, which left him injured. What followed was a deeply challenging period of his life. In July 2023, Ken hit rock bottom as he struggled with depression, self-doubt, and the heartbreak of losing the "police family" he cherished.But this isn’t just a story about loss—it’s about hope. Ken shares how three simple words—“Are you OK?”—were a turning point that prevented him ending his life.Today, he’s transforming his pain into purpose, advocating for mental health awareness and meaningful connection.This conversation is a raw and honest look at:The emotional toll of emergency service careersHow to navigate the depths of depression and lossThe power of reaching out and supporting one another in times of needWe also explore how Ken is finding new purpose and meaning after such a profound life shift.And of course, we wrap up with our signature question: What’s your Herman? Curious to learn more? Visit thesilentwhy.com/herman.For more about Ken visit: www.phoenix-rises.co.uk https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-anderson-8842b0313/ And for more about Andy's Man Club (mentioned in the episode), visit:https://andysmanclub.co.uk/Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#116. Let's Chat... about what it looks like when we use social media to show and share our grief.These 'Let’s Chat' episodes are conversations with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss. In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Rebecca Feinglos in North Carolina who is a certified grief support specialist and the founder of Grieve Leave - which offers grief support, education and training for workplaces.By the age of 31, Rebecca had lost both her parents and was dealing with the end of her marriage, these losses led her to take a year off to process them all, which is what she called her Grieve Leave. During this time, Rebecca started blogging about her grief and its popularity eventually led her to set up Grieve Leave as an organisation in 2021 to help others. This online community now has an impressive 30,000 members worldwide, who all share their grief, or are looking to help others who are grieving, particularly through the use of social media.With her experience of seeing and sharing grief online, I was keen to talk to Rebecca about grief in the online world. Does it help or hinder us? How has the internet opened up new areas of grieving for us? And how do we accept those? There's a lot of ground covered in this chat, including raccoons (!) and a question I've never asked before in a Let’s Chat episode (for you regular listeners, see if you can work out what it is.)For more about Rebecca and Grieve Leave:https://www.grieveleave.comhttps://www.instagram.com/grieveleavehttps://www.instagram.com/rfeinglosViral video of Rebecca & Adele:https://www.tiktok.com/@rfeinglos/video/7177076659344919850 Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#115. Have you ever considered the losses that might be encountered by going through puberty early? Have you even heard of precocious puberty? Let alone think about it in the context of grief. This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #58 of 101: Loss of agency over your body through precocious pubertyMeet Dannie-Lu Carr, who lives on the south coast of England in St Leonards-on-sea, and is an executive coach, author, singer-songwriter, actor and director.Dannie-Lu went through precocious puberty (or early puberty) at the age of 8 years old, and she shares the subsequent losses she's encountered in her life since.This is a very valuable conversation about an area of grief that people might not consider or know much about. We're hoping it will be a useful tool to help adults who might have children they know going through, but also to help anyone that went through it themselves and who is still processing what was taken from them through that experience.Dannie-Lu shares about why it's only now, in her 40's, that she can talk about it, what she's learnt from it, how it's shaped how she sees herself (especially her body), and what she's gained from it.For more about Dannie-Lu, visit: https://dannielucarr.com/https://portfoliodlc.comhttps://flamingleadership.co.ukSocial media: https://www.instagram.com/dannielucarr/https://www.instagram.com/dannie_lu_carr_musicMusic:https://dannielucarrmusic.com Podcast:https://complicatedpod.co.uk/Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

BONUS EPISODE TIME! ... and this episode contains something that I've never shared on the podcast before.Welcome to The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Many of you will know that I (Claire Sandys, host) enjoy podcasting (of course!) and writing, and drinking Earl Grey tea and eating marzipan, but what you might not know is that I also occasionally speak at church gatherings. This year I was asked to share something at the annual All Soul's service, which is specifically for people to come to remember those who have died. This usually takes place the week of Halloween, or as it used to be called All Hallows Eve.So my remit for the talk was 10-15 mins on grief, loss, and the hope we have through our faith (you're starting to see why I was asked to do this, aren't you?!)And because it was SO similar to what I also do on the podcast, and because maybe you are remembering a loved one you've lost, I thought I'd share it with you as a bonus episode.So here it is...Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#114. How does the grief of losing someone to suicide differ from other deaths? What emotions and questions does it raise? And what if it's your spouse who's died, and you're five months pregnant with his child? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #57 of 101: Loss of a husband to suicide while pregnantMeet Rachel Hart, from Liverpool, who recalls the time she was five months pregnant and the police knocked on her door to tell her that her husband had been found dead. She was later told he had died by suicide. Rachel is no stranger to grieving, having lost both her parents before her mid-30’s, but this kind of grief took her to a whole new level.In this episode, Rachel shares about the blessing that the Covid lockdowns turned out to be (with a new baby), how she managed new emotions like anger that were tied in with her grief, and what people can say (and avoid saying!) when faced with a story like hers. Plus, she shares how and when hope returned to help her look to the future.And we send many congratulations to Rachel (and her newly wed husband), because they got married within days of us recording this episode.Charities and organisations Rachel wants to share links to: https://www.instagram.com/calmzone/https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/ https://uksobs.com/ Nora McInerny books Rachel mentioned: https://noraborealis.com/For help on language around suicide: https://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Language-guide-for-talking-about-suicide.pdf Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#113. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And that’s what this short episode is all about. Oh, and the beautiful sounds of the Eternal Forest in Wales…Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope. These new, very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.  7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while. And for this episode I'm asking you to come for a stroll with me down the peaceful paths of the Eternal Forest natural burial ground in North Wales, listen to the birds, the quiet, and nature just doing it's thing around you. Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#112. What is it like doing chaplaincy work on the frontline with the police? Or experiencing the worst humans can do to each other up close?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #56 of 101: Loss in the role of a Police ChaplainMeet Jared Altic, a returning podcast guest who is here to talk to us about what it's like to work as a full-time Pastor, voluntary Police Chaplain at his local police department in Kansas City, and podcaster.Jared Altic has over 25 years of experience serving and counselling military and law enforcement families, responding to families of crime victims and working long term with police in areas of wellness. And we spoke to him over 2 years ago in a Let's Chat episode, and now he's back as part of our list of 101 losses. In this episode Jared shares why why he does this kind of work, the challenges it can bring to his own wellbeing, how he makes sure his work doesn’t always get the best of him, and the toll being around death can take. Yet, despite all the horrendous things Jared has witnessed, he’s still a strong believer in hope... for everyone. To listen to Jared's podcast, ‘Hey, Chaplain’, visit: https://heychaplain.buzzsprout.com/And we specifically recommend an episode we mentioned on compassion fatigue and you can listen to that on any podcast player or through his website: https://heychaplain.buzzsprout.com/1792621/10314453-025-what-is-compassion-fatigue-richard-hartman To read, or listen to, Claire's top tips on how to speak to people who are grieving, visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#111. So, is grief selfish? I mean it's largely about something we're sad about. It's something we've lost or miss. So, is it a selfish thing? Let's open up this can of worms, shall we?!Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/is-grief-selfishI overheard a conversation in a charity shop, and it really made me chew over this question all the way home - is grief selfish?Does that question make you feel uncomfortable? Is it grief-podcast-suicide to suggest it might be selfish? Do we make grief all about us when we shouldn't? Is it possible to get stuck in grief in a selfish way? Do you assume the definition of selfish is always bad? Will people throw shocked faces at me just for posing this question?Join me to find out.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#110. Do you find the summer hard, painful, a reminder of things you don't have?Whether you have children, don't have children, go on holiday, don't go on holiday - things do shift a bit in this month, and because of that, things are a bit different at The Silent Why HQ too.Welcome to another episode from me, Claire Sandys, host of The Silent Why podcast. This one is a bit of an update on what's happening over the next few weeks, and why.I've decided to repeat what I did last year and take some time to focus on my writing over August, and I'm very excited about it. So this episode tells you a bit more about that, and just generally catches you up with all things Silent Why-y. If this is a month you struggle with, then check out the blog I mention: The Season of August. Listen on any podcast player or here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76de59b8/blog-my-why-the-season-of-augustRead: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/theseasonofaugustAnd the favourite blog I mentioned: Listen: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4da01fa4/blog-my-why-meet-my-friend-the-moonAnd don't forget you can support the show (and ultimately fuel my tea drinking while I'm writing over the summer) by visiting Buy Me A Coffee or buying a Herman to send to someone. 10% off in August with the code PODCASTLOVE. And to follow Herman on Instagram go to: www.instagram.com/thehermancompanyThank you so much for listening to The Silent Why, may your hope-tank never be empty because of it.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#109. What if your loved one doesn't have a 'good' death? How do you cope with the trauma of witnessing someone suffer at the end of their life?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #55 of 101: Loss through a bad/complex deathIn this episode we chat to Kay Backhouse, in Morecombe, Lancashire, about the death of her youngest brother, Syd, to neuroendocrine cancer in 2019.Kay was living in Australia with her family when her brother was first diagnosed, and one day she received some unexpected communication from him that started a chain of events that led her back home. Sadly, a couple of years later, in a hospice, with his family, Syd suffered a 'bad death' or 'complex death' which added an extra, very painful, level of grief and trauma to Kay's loss.This is a subject you don't often hear discussed, so we're very grateful to Kay for chatting to us about her experience. Kay believes that if she’d been better prepared, or educated, about deaths like this, then maybe the way her brother died wouldn't have been so traumatising. She's now passionate to help others learn more about death, and we believe it's an important topic we should all be willing to learn about - not only in case we go through it, but also to help others. And Syd's death has had a profound impact on Kay's personal and professional life; the way she views death, sees hope, spends her time, and views the future. This is a conversation that is anything but sad and depressing, it is a story of hope.For more about Kay, and her book, 'Losing You, Finding Me', visit: https://www.kaybackhouse.comListen to our other episode with Kay & Maddy: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7c8f6445/lets-chat-life-in-a-hospice-with-maddy-bass-and-kay-backhouseLeave a review on Apple Podcasts, if you don't have an Apple device: https://podmatch.com/blog/how-to-leave-an-apple-review-for-a-podcast-from-your-iphone-ipad-or-from-your-computerSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#108. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them.So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (like this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one).Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast).In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Moorslede Communal Cemetery in Belgium.Come with us to explore how different graves are in Belgium, and hear our thoughts as we look around a very crowded cemetery in Moorslede, but also a beautiful one we find on the other side of the road.For the photos that accompany this episode, so you can visualise what we're talking about, visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/graveyardmusingsbelgiumagain If you want to hear more episodes like this, check out:Graveyard Musings, Tyne Cot & Ypres, Belgium: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7f63d7e9/graveyard-musings-tyne-cot-and-ypres-belgiumGraveyard Musings: Llanfair Talhaiarn, Wales:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7e418cc4/graveyard-musings-llanfair-talhaiarn-walesGraveyard Musings: Gloucestershire, England (Part 1 of 3):https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76b3f1f7/graveyard-musings-gloucestershire-england-part-1Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#107. Let's Chat... about what day-to-day life is like working in, or visiting, a hospice.Let’s Chat episodes chat to guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss. In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Maddy Bass (Director of Nursing) and Kay Backhouse (Clinical Administrator) who both work at St John's Hospice in Lancashire. Maddy has wanted to work with people who are dying all her life and is passionate about her work and providing the best possible care, and Kay has experienced the death of her brother in a hospice and since then has started volunteering at St John’s. So they’re the perfect pair to give us an insight into what life is like working in a hospice, but also what it’s like as the family members of someone who is having end of life care. In this episode we chat about how it works when you need a hospice, who pays for it, what the atmosphere is like, why they’re so important, what’s their role compared to hospitals, what would they want people to know about hospices, and how working around grief and death affects their own dealings with it personally.For more about St John's Hospice in North Lancashire & South Lakes, and some of their own podcast, visit: www.sjhospice.org.ukFor more about Kay, and her book, 'Losing You, Finding Me', visit: www.kay.backhouse.com or www.instagram.com/kay_backhouseAnd for the episodes I mentioned about our time doing work experience in a Funeral Directors:'Wales, work experience, bitey flies, chips and Dave': https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/78783914/wales-work-experience-bitey-flies-chips-and-daveBlog: Seeing my first dead body: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7af9430b/blog-my-why-seeing-my-first-dead-bodySend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#106. Ever felt the grip of serious addiction? Drink and drug addictions can destroy life, but what about the person in recovery who's celebrating being 'clean' while also having to accept the loss of the many things ruined by years of misuse? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #54 of 101: Loss through addictionWe're so excited to share this episode, not only is it an episode that's been requested by those who have been through it, but it looks into a topic that is hugely connected to grief, yet so often overlooked - addiction.Addiction can cause the loss of health, relationships, family, control, identity, freedom, money, homes, even life itself, and so much more. So when you reach recovery, and are then faced with all you've lost, how do you grieve that?In this episode we chat to Lisa Newman from the beautiful town of Stroud in England. We've known Lisa for a few years and she agreed to come and talk to us about the loss and grief she’s experienced through addiction to alcohol and drugs.Addiction entered her life when she was around 10 years old, and in the following decades it took her to some dark places which later saw her homeless, in prison and in-and-out of hospital. Lisa shares her journey with us including; the grief of now being single and childless, the pain of watching friends have grandchildren, the precautions she has to take to use pain medication, the loss of friends to addiction, the pain and confusion for those around her, what recovery has been like, and the challenges of rebuilding a life while also mourning the loss of the life you thought you’d have.This is a very honest and important conversation about the power of addiction, the power of being free/clean, but also the live-changing power of hope and gratitude.  Lisa now spends her time helping other people come off drink and drugs, for more about her, visit:www.recalibrate-recovery.comwww.linkedin.com/in/lisa-newman-recalibraterecoverycoach/www.instagram.com/lisadoesyogaSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

BONUS EPISODE TIME!This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.In last week's episode (Loss 53) we spoke to a friend of ours, Laura Burns, about alopecia and coming to terms with the loss of her hair, but she wasn't the only one sat in the podcast studio for that in-person interview.Quietly perched in the corner was husband, Jonathon (a friend of ours, which is how we met Laura in the first place).In the episode last week Laura shared about losing her hair at the age of 22 years old through alopecia (in 2011) and the challenges this can raise when dating and choosing what information to tell people and when.[And you might want to hear that episode before listening to this one, link below].So, we decided we wanted to chat to Jonathon as well, what's it been like from his side of things, and how has he navigated this with his own health challenges. Both Laura and Jonathon have had more than their fair share of health conditions. Jonathon was born with renal failure and later had a kidney transplant, and Laura has had brain surgery more than once, so they're not strangers deep, difficult conversations. In this chat, Jonathon shares his side of the 'wig flying off story', how he's managed his own health challenges, how they communicated about their health when dating, how they've found their way in marriage together, and what part faith has played in that.How this couple are, and see life, despite all their health challenges, is truly inspiring.Loss 53/101 Episode (Loss of hair through alopecia): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7a41eed1/loss-53101-loss-of-hair-through-alopecia-laura-burnsSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#105. What's it like to suddenly start losing your hair at the age of 22? How open should you be about it when start dating?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #53 of 101: Loss of hair through alopeciaMeet Laura Burns, a social worker for an anti modern-slavery charity, but also a friend of ours who lives in The Black Country. Laura married our friend Jonathon in 2022, and we had the privilege of being at their wedding.  This is only our second in-person interview, after nearly 200 podcast episodes! So it was very exciting to chat face-to-face with Laura in our podcast studio.Alopecia first appeared in Laura’s life in 2011 when she was 22 years old. Alopecia areata is a disease that happens when the immune system attacks hair follicles and causes hair loss, and Laura explains the different types and which ones have affected her over the years. Both Laura and Jonathon have had more than their fair share of health conditions. Jonathon was born with renal failure and later had a kidney transplant, and Laura has had brain surgery more than once. But it was only recently Laura told us she has alopecia, so we asked if she'd come and tell us about her experience, and she agreed. This was the first time we were hearing her story, so it was a real honour to record it for the podcast to share with you.Laura talks about what kind of loss alopecia is, the journey to finding the right wig (pop over to our social media to see how gorgeous that is!), how she found the right man 😉, and how it's not always been easy to know what to share with others and when.She also shares some of the more humorous moments, e.g. when her now-husband Jonathon first saw her without her wig - well worth tuning in for.This is a very honest conversation about a very visual and complicated loss, especially because identity can be so closely connected to our hair. Laura shows us how hope can find a way in and how important gratitude has been to her.For more information and support with alopecia: https://www.alopecia.org.uk/PLUS: Tune in next week for a bonus material episode, because after this interview we recorded a chat with her lovely husband, Jonathon Burns. Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#104. What's it like to handle a human heart? Or to operate in that small space between life and death? And is there grief for a surgeon when a patient dies during, or after, surgery? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #52 of 101: Loss of a life for a heart surgeon Meet Mark Field, a cardiac surgeon from Liverpool (in the north of England) who joined me (Claire), in-between commitments at work, to talk about life, death and loss in heart surgery. Now, this isn't a subject that's discussed much with surgeons, and you'll hear Mark say that even he had reservations talking about it, but it's such an important area to highlight. Just because you work in a career that encounters death, doesn't that mean you find it any easier to face than people in other jobs. And, like many other careers we've covered on the podcast, it's once again surprising how little training is provided to medical professionals when it comes to delivering the news of a patient’s death. Especially when people's responses to bad news are so varied.I was introduced to Mark through the Aortic Dissection Charitable Trust, and knew this was a man I wanted to speak to when he sent me the best excuse for being late to a Zoom call ever. I received an email just after the start time had passed that simply said: “Sorry Claire. 5 minutes! Trying to prevent death!!”In this conversation you'll hear about how hard it is when major operations don't end with a healthy recovery, how surgeons control (or don’t control) human emotions, the privilege of working with such a valuable organ, and why hope plays such an important role in Mark's job.And because trying to co-ordinate the diaries of a journalist and a heart surgeon got really tricky, Chris wasn't able to join me in this episode, so I was flying solo for the first time in 53 losses.If you want to hear how other careers handle dealing with death, visit www.thesilentwhy.com/letschat and scroll down to 'Jobs working with loss, grief and death' for a full list.Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#103. When a close family member dies, like a parent, it's easy to assume there was love there, but what if you're not sure if you loved that person, or even if they loved you, what does grief look like then?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #51 of 101: Loss of a dad ('that I don't know if I loved') And yes, this means that as we've reached Loss 51 - we're officially over halfway through our 101 loss list! Exciting! Check out all previous episodes online at www.thesilentwhy.com/101losses or see our last episode where we reflected on the previous ten stories of loss and grief. But there are also many more to go, so back to today's guest...In this episode you'll meet Thea Rickard, from Bristol in England. Thea's in her twenties and lost her dad, Jonathan Rickard, when he was in his sixties in 2018. About a year ago she produced a short audio documentary called Our Dad (link below) which Chris listened to and then shared with me, because something she said caught his attention: 'Grieving for somebody, or the idea of somebody, who you’re not sure if you loved, is the hardest thing I’ve ever encountered.' Keen to explore what it's like to grieve someone you don't know if you loved, especially a parent, we invited her to talk about it with us on the podcast. As Thea has reflected on her dad’s life, his relationship with alcohol, his dream to be an actor, the terrifying and the tender moments she's seen in him, she's had to explore what it's like to grieve for a man she wasn't sure if she loved, or even if he loved her. Like she said in her documentary: ‘It would be easier if he was “the villain” of the piece, but he’s not the antagonist in a story, he’s a human being.’ There is so much wisdom and empathy in this chat, well beyond Thea's years, so we know you’re going to appreciate this very honest conversation.To listen to Thea's 15 minute audio project, 'Our Dad', where she talks about her father with her siblings, visit: https://soundcloud.com/thearickard/ourdadSend us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.

#102. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them.  So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard (and sometimes Chris!).Welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast). In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Llanfair Talhaiarn Cemetery in North Wales.Come with us to hear the sounds of the Welsh countryside (a.k.a. sheep!) and hear our thoughts as we look around a beautiful cemetery in a valley in the gorgeous Welsh countryside. If you want to hear more episodes like this, check out: Graveyard Musings, Tyne Cot & Ypres, Belgium: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7f63d7e9/graveyard-musings-tyne-cot-and-ypres-belgiumGraveyard Musings: Gloucestershire, England (Part 1 of 3): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76b3f1f7/graveyard-musings-gloucestershire-england-part-1Send us Fan MailSupport the show-----thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.comSupport the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhySign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletterHow to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrievingReview the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  GoodpodsEpisode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.comThank you for listening.