PODCAST · society
The Small Bow Podcast
by thesmallbow.com
Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes
Episodes
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How To Talk About Death With Famous People | David Marchese
Please Note: This video discusses heavy themes, including suicide and mental health struggles. If you are experiencing distress, please utilize the free, confidential resources below. United States & Canada: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. International: Find free,...
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“The Ground Hurts” | Hard Lessons with Comedian Nick Thune
From a rehab that burned down to a fall from a second story window, Nick Thune has escaped death many times. He’s found a way to tell his story that makes space for the terror he felt in the depths of addiction and the compassion he now feels for the person he used to be. Nick spins a good yarn,...
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I Was an Oddball Who Wanted to Be Loved | Rainn Wilson
Rainn Wilson is best-known for his role as Dwight Schrute on The Office and his Soul Boom Podcast. He’s a serious, thoughtful guy who had the strange experience of becoming an international celebrity almost overnight. We talk about how the experience of sudden fame dovetailed with his addiction…
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Jim James on Relinquishing Control and Making Peace with Death
Please Note: This episode discusses heavy themes, including suicide and mental health struggles. If you are experiencing distress, please utilize the free, confidential resources below. United States & Canada: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. International: Find free,...
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Yassir Lester Doesn’t Want the Phone to Ring
Have you ever jumped when the phone rings? Yassir Lester does it every time. The writer and comedian (Girls, Black Monday, The Carmichael Show) stops by for a conversation about anxiety, success, growing up poor and how to deal with the fear of surprise. Plus, we talk about why quitting drinking...
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I Spent My Sober Anniversary Avoiding a Video of Perez Hilton | Carey O’Donnell
Carey O’Donnell celebrated 10 years of continuous sobriety on the same day Perez Hilton bloodied himself on TikTok Live. Perfect time to come on this show and talk about anniversaries, celebrities and the gnarlier side of addiction. Carey and I both experienced our darkest moments in New York and...
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Tough Love Would Have Killed Me | Erin Khar on Parenting in Recovery
This is an episode about parenting and recovery. How do I talk to my kids about my own story? How do I protect them from repeating my mistakes? How do I give them the feeling of safety that I didn’t have when I was young? What do I do if I recognize patterns of behavior in them, that I’ve tried…
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Tommy Rosen on the Alignment Between Yoga and 12-Step
Sometimes I think I either want to join a cult or start a cult. Tommy Rosen definitely has cult leader charisma, but if you peel back that air of authority, you realize he’s just a guy that’s been seriously kicked around by life and arrived at a place where he wants to help as many people as...
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How do I stay in the moment when my phone is addictive?
This week, Kathryn Jezer-Morton joins the show to talk about emotional sobriety and the internet. Kathryn writes about digital culture and parenting for many publications, including her fantastic biweekly column for The Cut called “Brooding.” Her new book on social media is called The Story of…
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Latex, Throwing Bacon and Bad Corpse Makeup with Anna Holmes
Anna Holmes could walk into any newsroom and immediately run the show. She created and ran Jezebel while I was at Gawker and her writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The New Yorker and The New York Times, where she formerly wrote the weekly “Work Friend” column for the Sunday Business Section.…
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God Can’t Help You Until You Get Out of the Way
Queen Conny is 96 years old and not afraid to die. She gets angry, she holds onto grudges and she has no tolerance for liars. She’s also got 18 virtual reality boyfriends and killer style. She’s been sober for 48 years and while she hasn’t always loved AA, she credits it with changing her...
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Opening the Doors on a Real Recovery Meeting
This week on The Small Bow Podcast, you’re invited to join us for a Small Bow Meeting. A Small Bow Meeting is not a 12-step meeting, but we rip off most of their format. It is not necessary for participants to identify as an alcoholic or addict. This meeting is open to people who suffer from…
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If You’re Searching For Heaven, Go Home | Swamp Dogg on the Afterlife
Swamp Dogg is a country, soul and R&B singer, musician, songwriter and record producer. He has influenced multiple generations of musicians with his defiantly idiosyncratic discography and has been described by Pitchfork as one of “pop’s great cult acts.” He also happens to sing The Small Bow…
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Megan Koester Is A Great Writer. Why Isn’t She Writing?
Megan Koester is a writer and stand-up comedian who isn’t writing and won’t promote her stand-up. In my opinion, she should be doing more of both of those things but hey, it’s not up to me. I wanted to have Megan back on the show to talk about self-sabotage and becoming your own worst enemy.…
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Richard Rushfield Has Power in Hollywood. Just Don’t Tell Him That.
When I want to know what’s going on in Hollywood, I turn to Richard Rushfield. Richard is a columnist for the Ankler, his influential newsletter about the state of the entertainment industry. He is also sober, and decided to stop by our show on his 30th sobriety anniversary. We talk about how...
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We Fear Connection More Than Loss: Audience Q&A with Peaceful John
For this episode of The Small Bow Podcast, my friend Peaceful John joins the show to answer some of your questions about recovery. It should be obvious pretty quickly why I call him Peaceful John. We talk about how to set boundaries with aging parents, how to avoid turning your grief into a…
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To Write a Book about Family, Mary H. K. Choi Had to First Look at Her Own
Mary H. K. Choi stops by the show for our annual meeting of the dead dads club and a conversation about her new book Pool House. We discuss the major changes in Mary’s life that informed the writing of this book, including her autism diagnosis and the loss of her dad, and the ways that this round...
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Death, Sex and Recovery: A Conversation with Anna Sale
Death, Sex and Money is where I go for a jolt of connection to something bigger than myself. Anna Sale hosts that show and is also the author of the book Let’s Talk About Hard Things. On this episode, we talk about the moment Anna realized she didn’t understand death nearly as much as she thought...
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Ryan O'Connell on the Strange Sensation of Finally Being Seen
Ryan O’Connell had an uncommon path to fame. After starting as a blogger in New York, he wrote a TV script about his life as a young, gay man with Cerebral Palsy. When the show was picked up by Netflix, the network insisted he star in it as well. Now that Special is in the rearview mirror, Ryan…
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Langhorne Slim Wanted to Flee. Then He Became a Father.
Turns out Langhorne Slim and I have a lot in common. We both grew up in the Philly suburbs, we spent formative creative years in New York and we became dads in our forties. We’re also both in recovery. Langhorne’s got a new album out called The Dreaming Kind and he stopped by the studio to chat...
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Dopey Dave on Ego, Success and Why "More" is the Hardest Drug to Quit
Dave Manheim (host of the Dopey Podcast) comes back on the show to drop some Dopey wisdom. We talk about ego, ambition, control issues, slowing down and how to be of service, self-servingly. Plus, what I learned from losing my wallet and why Dave hates the movie Inside Out. New episodes release...
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Mitchell Jackson on Crisis PR, Billionaire Clients and Cancel Culture
As the publicist for some of the most controversial people in media, including Candace Owens, Clavicular and Adam Friedland, Mitchell Jackson runs toward chaos. I wanted to have him on the show to talk about his own sobriety and how he balances a professional life that’s full of drama with a...
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Blair Socci on Returning to Standup After the Loss of her Brother
How do you begin to laugh again after experiencing unimaginable grief? Comedian Blair Socci has been trying to answer this question since the sudden death of her brother, but the answer isn’t obvious. I wanted to have her on the show to hear how she’s doing and learn what her recent experience…
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Michael Strassner Made a Movie About the Night That Almost Killed Him
Michael Strassner makes sure to watch the first scene of his film The Baltimorons at every screening, because he knows that if the events of that scene went differently, he wouldn't be around to watch them. He and I sit down for a frank and funny conversation about depression, getting sober by…
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When you make a dog your “higher power,” what happens when they die?
My friend Jeremy Luke did something you’re not supposed to do— two months after getting sober, he got a dog. That dog became his “No. 1 Sidekick” and suddenly Jeremy was a “dog guy,” trading in his bar friends for dog friends. When his dog Boogie died, Jeremy didn’t want to be sober anymore. In...
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Why Alex Winter Quit Hollywood for 10 Years
Every week, Alex Winter and I have a standing date at the House of Pies in LA. I like what he has to say about creativity, fame, sobriety— you know, all the stuff I’m interested in. Alex was on Broadway as a kid and then blew up when he starred in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. In this...
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The Mushrooms Told Me to Stop Drinking
Chris Witaske has "golden retriever" energy and he knows it, but there’s a bullied kid under that fun-loving guy. You probably know Chris as Pete on The Bear, or from those Progressive commercials. We talk about how he grew up drinking cheap beer in cornfields and dreaming of Animal House, only…
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How to be addicted to people with Elizabeth Gilbert
When Elizabeth Gilbert wrote Eat Pray Love, she described her disordered relationship history using the language of addiction. It wasn’t until years later that she realized that for her, addiction wasn’t only a metaphor. In her new memoir All the Way to the River, Gilbert chronicles the chaos and...
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Jerry O'Connell on the Fears and Feelings We Push Down
My friend Jerry O’Connell says he’s a simple guy. I wholeheartedly disagree. I was frankly surprised that he agreed to come on the show and discuss his recovery, a topic he has never spoken about publicly before, but I’m glad he was willing to get "serious" with me. We also discuss how he’s...
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Petty Resentments and Righteous Anger: A Conversation with Cord Jefferson
When I found out my old colleague Cord Jefferson was writing a TV show about our time together at Gawker, I got pissed. I think I called him an "a**face." I don't feel resentful toward Cord anymore, but I wanted to have him on the show to talk about why that got under my skin. Plus, I wanted to...
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Amanda de Cadenet on Facing "Dire" Loneliness and Loving Alcoholics
Amanda de Cadenet lost control at an early age. As a teenager, she was on TV, married to a rockstar and all over the tabloids, but she had a deep loneliness that she couldn’t face. When she entered recovery, she stepped behind the camera for the first time and discovered the power of her own…
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Joe Buck on How to Look Into the Camera When You're Deeply Insecure
People love to dunk on Joe Buck. They think one of the most accomplished play-by-play guys in the history of sports is robotic, elitist or boring. What you may not realize is that the worst things you've yelled at Joe Buck, he's definitely thought about himself. Together, we talk about the...
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Why Does Jenn Sterger Still Talk To Me?
I never expected that Jenn Sterger would become such a big part of my recovery. Jenn is a comedian and former sports commentator and in 2010, I ruined her life. Since then, Jenn and I have rebuilt our friendship (with the help of a dog) and I’m grateful to her for coming on the show. We talk…
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The Small Bow Podcast | New Season Trailer
The Small Bow Podcast with A.J. Daulerio is re-launching on March 4, with new episodes dropping every Wednesday. The Small Bow is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where A.J. talks to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal…
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The Wind Blows High w/ Trey Anastasio
In this very special episode, Phish's Trey Anastasio talks to us about how his 2006 drug arrest and the court-ordered treatment he received afterward became the catalyst for his second act as both a musician and a human, and also inspired him to open a revolutionary treatment center in Ludlow,...
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The Persistence of Time w/Sari Botton
Oldster Magazine’s Sari Botton talks to us about what she’s learned from her readership, and some of the anxiety she feels about turning 60. Show Notes: Oldster! Sober Oldster! The Small Bow
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If It's Not Going Perfectly, Keep Trying w/Joe Schrank
Social worker/Interventionist/advocate returns to The Small Bow to talk about Recovery Month, which happens every September, but is still being widely ignored. This is our annual attempt to develop a more effective marketing plan to increase interest in Recovery Month. Show Notes: Why Does No One...
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Also Hit By a Truck w/Molly Johnsen
After a car accident left her with catastrophic injuries, writer/teacher/poet Molly Johnsen had to physically and mentally recover. Through EMDR and poetry, she found a way out. Show Notes: Everything Alive by Molly Johnsen Hit By a Truck Essay How to Survive The Small Bow Newsletter!
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Hit By a Truck (Classic) w/Emma Carmichael
After a car accident left her with catastrophic injuries, writer/editor Emma Carmichael had to physically and mentally recover, but mainly she had to learn how to become more durable for when bad things happen in her life. Here's how she did it. Show Notes: Everything Alive by Molly Johnsen Hit…
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Let's Let the Healing Begin w/ Sean Clements
Actor/Writer/Podcaster Sean Clements tells us about his early recovery -- from an uncomfortable amends to his former employer, at a dry cleaners, to odd jobs in Connecticut, to UCB improv classes, Minnie Driver's seal of approval, to becoming a sought-after comedy writer, to elite podcaster. SHOW...
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Go On, Giddyup w/ Luke Pelletier
Musician and artist Luke Pelletier comes on TSB and tells us about his incredible manic episode when he attempted to prove his love to his girlfriend by spray painting their names on the Hollywood Sign. We hear about his new album that's come out of that experience and the medication and the...
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Fear of a 'Stack Planet w/Delia Cai
Do you like inside baseball? Editor Delia Cai joins TSB to discuss the state of independent media and if a career crisis is even a thing anymore. We get into my own anxiety about The Small Bow's expansion plans. Plus -- a Swamp Dogg giveaway! Show Notes: Deez Links New York Magazine story about...
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How to Build Your Body Without Losing Your Mind w/ Casey Johnston
Writer/author Casey Johsnton returns to the pod to discuss her new book, "A Physical Education." We talk about lifting heavy things, when you know you're hot, counting calories, bad body image, insecurity, walking into a gym for the first time, Jessica Simpson, and so much more. Show Notes: * A...
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Days of Our Second Lives w/ Amanda Hess
New York Times writer and author of "Second Life" Amanda Hess talks to us about motherhood, writing a book, quitting drinking while writing a book, benzos, anxiety, and how to be a steady-seeming parent in the chaotic digital nightmare-verse. Show Notes: * "Second Life: Having a Child in the...
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Our National Anthem w/ Amanda Petrusich
New Yorker writer Amanda Petrusich talks to us about all the complicated and gnarly feelings she's working through since the sudden death of her husband in August 2022. Show Notes: * "The Sad Dads of The National" * "The Enduring Genius of Metallica" * "Nick Cave on The Fragility of Life" *…
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How to Survive a Nightmare w/Joe Lynskey
Last New Year's Eve, Joe Lynskey was headed home from lunch and stepped onto an empty platform at 18th Street and 1st Avenue when he was violently pushed from behind and inches from being hit by a moving subway car. He survived. And his 12 years of recovery from drugs and alcohol are helping him...
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Mind Reels in America w/Freddie deBoer
Writer/Novelist Freddie deBoer tells us his experience with bipolar disorder and the six times he entered (or was placed) into a facility. Show Notes: * "Why I Won't Write a Mental Illness Memoir" * Pre-order Freddie's novel "The Mind Reels" * Here's Your Kanye West Cliff Notes The Small Bow...
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You Did It, Man! w/Cord Jefferson
American Fiction Writer/Director Cord Jefferson returns to the pod to discuss winning at the Oscars, losing the Golden Globes, and how he plans to fill the hole in his soul. Show Notes: American Fiction Stunting Growth w/ Cord Jefferson The Small Bow Newsletter! Help Support TSB!
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The Last Decent Man on Earth
Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block tells us all the ways he's kept himself in check throughout his career and dazzles us with his grace and humility. If you like this kinda stuff, maybe you want to sign up to our newsletter. Show Notes: BUY JOE'S NEW ALBUM "FREEDOM"
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There Are Murderers Here
Journalist and mental health counselor Jayson Blair tells us all about how his plagiarism scandal at The New York Times gave him the opportunity to get the help he needed – and to help others. Show Notes: CORRECTING THE RECORD KATIE COURIC INTERVIEW WITH JAYSON GOOSE CREEK CONSULTING: JAYSON’S…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed.
In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life.
But out of the ashes
HOSTED BY
thesmallbow.com
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Small Bow Podcast have?
The Small Bow Podcast currently has 93 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Small Bow Podcast about?
Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness,...
How often does The Small Bow Podcast release new episodes?
The Small Bow Podcast has 93 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Small Bow Podcast?
You can listen to The Small Bow Podcast on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Small Bow Podcast?
The Small Bow Podcast is created and hosted by thesmallbow.com.
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