The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

If you’re a man in any kind of relationship with a woman, you need to listen to this podcast. Menopause isn't just a women's issue. And if you're in a relationship with someone going through it, this conversation might be the most useful thing you listen to all year.Dr. Kelly Casperson is a urologist, author, and host of the You Are Not Broken podcast. She was spending her days mostly treating men's sexual health — testosterone, erectile dysfunction, all of it — and realized somewhere along the way that nobody was asking the next obvious question: what about their partners?I first had Kelly on to talk about sex and men's health. This time we went somewhere different. After I spoke at one of her menopause seminars in Chicago, I knew we had to come back and have this conversation for the guys. Menopause is an initiation for women. What most men don't realize is that it's an initiation for them too.We get into the biology of what's actually happening, why men check out, smother, or collapse when it shows up, what it does to libido and sex, and why this midlife passage — as uncomfortable as it gets — is one of the greatest opportunities for growth a man will ever get.If your partner is in perimenopause or menopause — or will be — this one is required listening.——Start hereMen – Join The UNcivilized Nation——First episode with Dr. Kelly CaspersonFind Dr. Kelly Casperson: InstagramWebsiteBooks – You Are Not Broken | The Menopause MomentPodcast – You Are Not BrokenChapter List:00:00 Intro01:29 Why Men Avoid This Conversation10:29 Menopause Is an Initiation15:33 The Biology of Menopause36:19 What Men Get Wrong38:36 The Evolution of Relationships42:52 Male Archetypes in Relationships43:26 The 1950s Marlboro Man47:24 The Sensitive New Age Guy (The Nice Guy)52:40 The Collapsed Guy55:29 Libido, Hormones, and What Changes57:55 How to Talk About It59:34 The Orgasm Gap01:02:29 Beyond Friction01:08:12 Men — Look in the Mirror01:15:41 One Conversation to Have This Week01:16:40 Should You Go to the Doctor With Her?01:20:29 Wrap Up

Last summer I spent 49 days alone in a pitch-black room in Italy.No light. No phone. No people. Just me and whatever was waiting on the other side of all that silence.Somewhere around week two, at 4 am, walking six steps in one direction and six steps back, four words dropped without warning.One Life. Soul Led. All In.That dropped me to my knees.This episode is the full framework — the story behind it, what each piece means, and why I'll be teaching this for the next decade.One Life — Most of us are living three. Public, private, and secret. We burn enormous energy keeping them from colliding. The work is collapsing them into one. Not necessarily by going fully public — but by not having internal secrets. By being able to look in the mirror and say: this is who I am, all of it.Soul Led — The deepest, truest part of you. When you make decisions from there, things work. When you don't, you end up chasing whatever your version of the bottle, the screen, or the distraction is. I know mine. I talk about them here.All In — Around day 35 I hit a wall. I was 25 pounds lighter, sleep-deprived, staring down two more weeks with nothing but my own mind. What came through: “What is required of you is a heroic effort, because you have chosen a Herculean task.” The all-in piece isn't just motivation. It's the reserve tank for when willpower starts to run dry.I also talk about what the eight months after the retreat actually looked like. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. But underneath all of it — more grounded than I've ever been.——Ready to start?Want to know where this all started? Read the book about my first Dark RetreatWant to hear from the woman who guided me through it? Listen to EP 419 with Arpita Kshama Devi——Connect with Traver: InstagramSubstackWebsiteChapter List00:00 Introduction to the One Life, Soul Led, All In Framework00:58 The Story of OLSLAI02:25 The Mantra: One Life, All In, No Cone09:58 One Life. Soul Led. All In.12:28 One Life: Unifying Public, Private, and Secret Lives17:26 Soul Led.22:35 Questions for the Soul23:46 All In.26:46 The Heroic Effort Required32:09 Lives Reorganized34:47 OLSLAI & UNcivilized: How They Work Together

Most humans aren’t taught to grieve. And that avoidance — of grief, of death, of darkness — might be the thing costing us the most.Siobhan Asgharzadeh is a grief guide, death midwife, and storyteller who has spent her life apprenticing to the forces most of us spend ours running from. In this conversation, we get into what it actually means to trust death, why our cultural distrust of it is keeping us small and stuck, and how grief — when you stop caging it — becomes one of the most generative forces in a human life.Siobhan lost her best friend at 33. A month later, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and lost her eyesight. What came out of that darkness wasn't just survival — it was the beginning of a deep and ongoing apprenticeship with grief, death, story, and the inner world. She calls herself a grief pilgrim, and this conversation will make it clear why.We cover the distrust of death as the root of cultural disease, what it looks like to build a real relationship with grief instead of just managing it, the wolf framework for working with grief at street level, why darkness isn't the enemy — and why our obsession with light is costing us, the medicine of story and how it carried her through losing her sight, eldership as capacity rather than age, and what it means to find the extraordinary in the ordinary.This one goes deep. If grief, death, or darkness have been knocking at your door — this is the conversation to sit with.——Ready to go deeper? https://www.manuncivilized.com/start Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation——Connect with Siobhan:https://griefpilgrim.com/ Instagram @grief_pilgrim——Connect with Traver: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Website: https://www.manuncivilized.comChapter List00:00 Welcome & Meet Siobhan00:58 The Land of Taos & What It Asks of You04:34 How Grief Found Her08:35 Beginning the Apprenticeship With Grief10:13 Learning to Trust Death15:06 What Culture Gets Wrong About Death21:09 Using Death as a Compass27:37 Non-Human Teachers & Chronic Illness as Initiation32:52 The Responsibility of the Initiated35:10 Eldership as Capacity, Not Age42:11 Losing Her Sight to Finally See43:19 Lessons from Losing Sight48:48 The Medicine of Story & How to Court a Relationship With Grief54:23 Wrap up & Where to Find Siobhan

I want to be upfront with you — this conversation goes some places that not every podcast will go.David Sutcliffe is a somatic therapist, men's work facilitator, and former Hollywood actor who has made a career out of sitting with the men most people won't. He's interviewed Andrew Tate. He's sat across from Justin Waller. He's been in rooms where men have admitted things most of us can't even say out loud. And he keeps showing up — not because he's reckless, but because he genuinely believes that the truth lives in the places we've decided are off limits.This is his second time on the podcast, and we didn't hold back.We talk about the Heyoka — the sacred provocateur in Lakota tradition — and why men like Tate, Kanye, and Trump might be playing a role in the culture that nobody wants to admit is necessary. We get into transference, and why any man who wants to lead — in his home, his business, his community — needs to understand what it is and how it works. We talk about liberation, what it actually means, and why David says it comes down to one thing: presence.And then the conversation goes where it goes. Shadow. Sexuality. The complexity of human nature. The parts of men that don't fit into a clean narrative about good guys and bad guys. David doesn't flinch, and neither did I.As I mentioned at the top of the episode — this one gets into some territory that warrants a heads up. If you made it this far, you already know what you're signing up for.This is the conversation we're not supposed to be having. That's exactly why we had it.——Ready to go deeper?Men, join us in The UNcivilized Nation——Listen to David's first appearance on the podcastConnect with David——Connect with Traver: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com––Chapter List​​00:00 Who Is David Sutcliffe02:08 The Role of Controversial Figures in Culture10:05 Navigating Personal Pain and Public Perception12:20 The Cost of Staying in Your Mask16:29 Why Being Misunderstood Sets You Free20:33 Defining Transference22:32 What Liberation Actually Looks Like29:46 Relationship as Spiritual Practice33:19 Spiritual Practices and Personal Growth36:57 The Collective Shadow Coming to the Surface46:30 Justice, Punishment, and the Complexity of Human Nature56:15 Wrap Up & Where to Find David

I've been sitting on this idea for years. I almost wrote an entire book about it before I wrote Man UNcivilized. Today I'm finally talking about it publicly — and yes, it's about sex. But it's really about a lot more than that.——The sexual paradigm most of us inherited is broken. I don't say that to be provocative. I say it because we have an Epstein list, telegram rooms where men share tips on how to drug their wives, and at the same time — people are having less sex than ever. Less connection. Less desire. That's not a coincidence. That's what happens when you max out on incoming sexual energy and have nowhere real to put it.I'm not here to fix the culture. I'm here to offer a different option — what I'm calling The UNcivilized Bedroom.In this solo episode, I walk through the three pillars of this framework: The Potential — how what you do in the bedroom can change your confidence, your business, and your life outside of it. The Foundation — why the secret to great sex has nothing to do with technique, and everything to do with whether or not you've done your own work. The Experience — what it actually looks and feels like when sex becomes intentional, consensual, and fully relational.This is a teaser. There's more coming — guest episodes, deeper conversations, and the first live event I'm hosting in Boulder in May, details below.——Join me in person on May 23 in Boulder for The UNcivilized Bedroom: www.manuncivilized.com/bedroom——Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation——Connect with Traver: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com00:00 The Uncivilized Bedroom: An Introduction00:56 The Broken Sexual Paradigm04:15 Consent05:03 The Layout05:19 The Potential09:29 The Foundation12:50 The Experience16:48 Wrap Up

Most men spend decades chasing something they can't name — and by the time they figure out what it was, they've already lost everything trying to get it.That's the story Chris Robbins lived. Corporate career, seven restaurants, millions of dollars raised — and millions lost. A father he loved deeply — and could never quite reach. A life built entirely on the outside that was quietly collapsing within.In this conversation, Chris and I go deep on what it actually takes to wake up — not the motivational version, but the real one. The one that happens in a parking lot at 1am, finally realizing you never actually grieved the man who mattered most to you.We talk about the father wound — what it looks like when you realize your entire career was really just an attempt to get closer to your father — and what opens up when you finally see that. We get into grief, the kind men avoid for years because nobody taught us how to move through it. We talk about what it meant for Chris to step back from being the provider, become present for his kids, and how that shift — as humbling as it was — turned out to be the thing that changed everything.Chris is the founder of Soul Degree, a wilderness-based men's retreat and coaching program he's been running since 2017. He's a meditation guide, yoga teacher, breathwork facilitator, and End of Life Death Doula. He's also pursuing a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology — not because he has it figured out, but because he's still a student of this work. That comes through in every minute of this conversation.If you're a man who's been running hard and starting to wonder what the hell you've been running toward — this one's for you.——Ready to go deeper? Start here: https://www.manuncivilized.com/start——Connect with Chris: https://www.souldegree.com/Connect with Traver: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Website: https://www.manuncivilized.comChapters:00:00 From Corporate Life to Soul Work04:25 Building an Empire, Losing Himself08:29 The Moment Everything Cracked Open14:26 Becoming a Father Changed Everything26:04 Why He Called It Soul Degree29:26 What Men Don't Know About Grief32:31 What Is the Soul, Actually?36:45 His Father, His Grief, and the Weight He Carried42:23 Family, Therapy, and Doing the Work45:18 Finding Himself on the Other Side51:09 For the Man Who Doesn't Know Where to Start54:41 Wrap-up & Connect with Chris

What happens when your body becomes the battleground — and the only thing keeping you alive is a fraction of 1% that refuses to quit?Kayla Nelson spent years navigating chronic Lyme disease, tick-borne illness, and toxic mold while the Western medical system handed her nothing but dead ends. She lost her health, her finances, and almost everything else. What brought her back wasn't what the Western model had to offer. It was a radical treatment called Bee Venom Therapy — and something deeper she can only describe as soul.We get into the real mechanics of Bee Venom Therapy — what it is, how it works, and what it felt like the first time she stung herself with a live bee. We talk about what it means when your soul leaves the building, and how you know it's time to find your way back.From there, we dig into soul loss — not as a concept, but as something happening collectively right now across communities and culture. We talk about predatory energy — what it is, how it operates, and why most people aren't willing to name it. And we talk about the two responses most of us default to when we encounter it: freeze and fawn.Kayla speaks from a rare lens — she's not coming from a strictly biological framework or a strictly spiritual one. She moves between the two with precision, and this conversation reflects that. There's real medicine in this one.If something in this conversation moved you, share it with someone who needs it. And men — if you've been looking for structure, depth, and a community that does this work for real, come join us in The UNcivilized Nation –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation––Connect with Kayla: https://www.sagenourishment.comConnect with Traver: Website — https://www.manuncivilized.com Substack — https://traverboehm.substack.com Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Get my books –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/books Mentioned in This Episode: Bayo Akomolafe on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/0zZLZ9LYyfup07GaOykpRq Francis Weller on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/4U0NDtdOv5bN1WcZUoUhSXGo Deeper: Two Predators — https://www.manuncivilized.com/blog/two-predatorsChapters:00:00 Introduction & The Desk That Connects Them00:29 Falling Mysteriously Ill: The Beginning of Kayla's Journey03:07 What Kept Her Going When Everything Was Falling Apart08:50 What Is Bee Venom Therapy? (And How It Actually Works)15:26 5,000 Stings Over 4 Years — The Numbers17:30 The First Sting and the Unexpected Calm21:09 Defining the Soul — A Felt Sense, Not a Concept25:26 "Your Soul Has Left the Building" — Traver's Story27:17 Soul Loss and the Collective Reckoning30:34 Building a 200-Year Life31:10 How to Actually Start: Sitting With Nature39:24 Collective Awakening vs. Collective Tension41:47 The Predator — From Biology to Mythology50:14 Freeze and Fawn: The Two Responses We're Waking Up Out Of54:53 The Duality of Predatory Energy in Men58:11 Soul as the Antidote to the Predator1:01:45 Wrap-up & Where to find Kayla

I found Coral Osborne through a Substack piece she wrote titled "I Hired a Male Escort" — and I'll be honest, the title got me. But it was what she unpacked inside it that made me want to get her on the show. Coral spent years as a closeted sex worker, and what she found in those rooms wasn't what most people assume. Men showed up without their masks on. There were clear boundaries. And the connection — strange as it sounds — was often more honest than anything she found in conventional dating.Then she hired a male escort. Not to collect an experience, but to find out what would happen if she stopped performing and just received. What came up surprised her — and became the essay that brought her to this show.Coral is a sexologist and intimacy coach who works with men at the intersection of identity, desire, and shadow. This conversation goes deep into the psychology of fantasy, the difference between what turns you on and what you actually want, and why so many men have gone completely numb — not just sexually, but in every area of their lives.We also get into why less than 14% of therapists in North America have any sexuality training, what your darkest fantasy actually says about you, and why the men who say "I don't really have fantasies" are the ones who can't hold a relationship past the two-year mark.If you've ever wondered what your sex life is actually telling you about yourself — this one's for you.Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation––Read Coral's essays: Part 1: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190840262 Part 2: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190843310Connect with Coral: Website: https://coralosborne.com Substack: https://substack.com/@coralosborne Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunrealcoralosborne/––Connect with Traver: Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm/Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/booksSubstack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Chapters:00:00 Introduction — Who Is Coral Osborne?02:58 From Sex Worker to Sexologist: How She Got Here06:01 Why She Hired a Male Escort (And What She Learned)11:44 What Men Actually Show Up As Behind Closed Doors17:56 Sex Is Shadow Work23:59 Fantasy vs. Desire — The Distinction That Changes Everything31:51 Your Fantasies Are a Map to Your Soul40:06 Why Therapists Are Getting This Wrong43:35 The Numbing Out Epidemic: When Men Lose Access to Eros55:44 Wrap up & Where to find Coral

Most men were told to pick a side. And most men have spent their whole lives half of what they could be because of it.Josh Tyler is a former professional MMA fighter, survival instructor, and the founder of Savage Gentleman. He believes the men who figure out how to hold both don't just become more capable — they become more of what they actually are.In this episode, we get into what men have lost by compartmentalizing their lives. We talk about why the way you roll on the mat is the same way you carve wood, raise your kids, and move through the world — and how a lot of men never connect those dots. We also get into confidence — how it's actually built, why shortcuts don't actually build anything, and what it actually looks like to earn it.We cover the three male archetypes showing up right now, including the one that's quietly becoming the most common. And we close talking about power — what it actually is, why so many men feel like they don't have any, and why that's an illusion that experience can shatter.If you've been doing the things but not becoming anything — this one's for you.––Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation Connect with Me: Instagram: @traverboehm Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books––Connect with Josh: savagegentleman.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshtylermma/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/savagegentlemanofficial/Chapter List00:00 Introduction to Josh Tyler and Savage Gentlemen04:20 The Balance of Savage and Gentleman15:38 Depth and Nuance in Personal Development23:44 Life Lessons from Martial Arts and Survival Skills26:48 Cultural Shifts: From Meaningful Actions to Checkboxes27:48 The Journey Over the Destination: Embracing the Process32:46 The Riff on Confidence39:13 Male Archetypes: 19050s Marlboro Man, The Sensitive New Age Guy & The Collapsed Male40:44 Finding Your Path: Beyond Jiu-Jitsu and Bushcraft46:29 The Importance of Getting Dirty: Embracing Challenges48:00 Peak Experiences and Rites of Passage50:02 Navigating Corporate Worlds and Personal Validation53:24 Power & The Tension of Opposites59:12 Navigating Tension and Finding Balance01:03:38 The Illusion of Powerlessness and Perspective

Most men were never actually initiated into manhood. Nobody stood on the other side and said — you're different now, here's what that means, here's what we expect from you. Most of us just got older. And thus, many men are still running the same adolescent software in a grown man's body.Rites of passage leader Jeddy Azuma is back on the podcast, and this conversation goes deep fast. Jeddy works with men on rites of passage and mature masculine leadership — he's guided over 100 men through wilderness fasts, and he's seen what happens when a man actually crosses a threshold versus when he just... keeps going through the motions. If you missed his first appearance, check it out — link in the show notes.In this episode, we get into what mature masculinity actually looks like. We talk about the difference between initiation and rites of passage, what it means to hold the dynamic tension of a full life without losing your center, and why the harshest voice in your head isn't motivation — it's immaturity wearing the mask of high performance.We also talk about the inner critic — how it forms, how it served you, and how to replace it without losing the standard it held you to. That part of the conversation hit me. Because most men don't question that voice. It's been there so long it just sounds like truth.Jeddy also shares what four days alone in the wilderness — no food, no shelter, no distraction — actually does to a man. What comes up. What gets left behind. And what the real work is when he comes home.We close talking about where community is headed — why Jeddy believes this large-scale civilization experiment is already in collapse, and why the future belongs to smaller, trust-based communities built around shared values.If you've ever felt like something essential got skipped in how you became a man — this one's for you.Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenationConnect with Me: Instagram: @traverboehm——Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books ——Connect with Jeddy: Instagram: @jeddyazuma Missed Jeddy's first appearance on the podcast? Check it out here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qJjqeUgWjKUnGX1nxir9d?si=yMrreCykRay5dUsiuXdRCAChapter List 00:00 The Journey of Masculine Leadership01:03 Defining Immature Masculinity04:38 Holding Dynamic Tension10:48 The Inner Dialogue of Men11:58 The Importance of Initiation16:08 Rites of Passage vs. Initiation18:31 Rites of Passage & Initiation25:53 The Adolescent Male Experience27:55 What's the Point?30:24 The Wilderness Rite of Passage Process33:31 Transformation Through Initiation35:59 Connecting to the Soul42:57 Community and the Need for Trust48:20 The Future of Community Living

If you've read 28 Days in Darkness or followed my journey into the dark rooms, you've heard her name. Arpita Kshama Devi was the guide on the other side of the door — for my first retreat in 2016, and again this past year when I went back in for 49 days. I've wanted to get her on the mic for years and we finally made it happen.——Arpita is a meditation teacher, dark retreat guide, yoga teacher trainer, and PhD researcher with 15+ years of guiding people through some of the most intense inner work available. She's been in my life for a decade, and this conversation goes exactly as deep as you'd expect.We talk about what it actually means to enter the dark, what she feels the moment she walks someone into a retreat, and why the spiritual path was never supposed to be easy — no matter what the wellness industry is selling you. We also get into the questions most practitioners won't touch: the integration of shadow, the erotic, and the parts of ourselves we've quietly exiled for the sake of looking like we have it together.She's one of the most fascinating humans I know. This one's been a long time coming.——Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation——Get my books — including 28 Days in Darkness: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books——Learn more about Arpita and her retreats: https://loveevolveawaken.com Instagram: @love.evolve.awaken.yoga

I've been off the mic for eight months. Here's where I've been — and where we're going.——After 49 days alone in a pitch-black room in Tuscany last year, I came out a different man. Not better, not worse — different. And I knew I couldn't keep having the same conversations I'd been having for the last five years.In this episode, I'm sharing three ideas that came out of the dark — lenses I'm now using to navigate everything. OLSLAI — one life, soul led, all in. Dark adapted eyes — learning to see through the veil of your life while it's happening, not just in hindsight. And a third concept you can hear about in this episode that's going to help shape where this show goes from here.This is the relaunch. Same UNcivilized mission. Deeper water.——Want more conversations like this? Join me and a brotherhood of men doing the real work inside The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation——Referenced in this episode: Stephen Jenkinson on The UNcivilized Podcast: https://youtu.be/WnBp_AYNScQ——Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books——Find me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TraverBoehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.comManUNcivilized.com ——#UNcivilized #BeMoreMan #OLSLAI #DarkAdaptedEyes #TheUNcivilizedPodcast #TraverBoehm #TheUNcivilizedNation

Hey folks, here is an early morning guided meditation from you before I take a hiatus from the podcast for a few weeks to reintegrate from my dark retreat.I wanted to share this with you while I still feel I have a foot in the other world. Find a comfy spot, close your eyes, and join me as we drop down into your heart and the depth of your being.We’ll be back late September with more incredible episodes for you.Please share this with one person in your life as well!Cheers,TraverWant to Go Deeper?The UNcivilized Meditation Course — Practical tools to drop into your body, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with your true self:The UNcivilized Meditation CourseMan UNcivilized — The book that started the movement and continues to redefine masculinity:Get Man UNcivilized by Traver Boehm28 Days in Darkness — Traver’s latest book on surrendering to the unknown and reclaiming your life:Get 28 Days in Darkness

Stephen Jenkinson is a treasure, he’s also a three time Uncivilized Podcast guest, now speaking to us from a difficult place. Usually the man sitting with the dying, he’s now sitting with death himself.In this conversation I wanted to ask Stephen all of the no bullshit questions I could, giving him no softballs and going straight into the heart of the matter. As he always does, he took my questions and made both poetry and wisdom out of them.Truth be told, I had to breathe my way through this interview so as not to break down in tears myself. It’s raw and it’s real.This episode is about life, sickness, and facing death in an UNcivilized mannerCheers,TraverThis is Stephen Jenkinson’s fourth time joining us on The UNcivilized Podcast—and each time, he leaves a mark. If this conversation stirred something in you, go deeper with his past episodes:How to Navigate Grief and Die Wise » Grief, Mystery, and Generational Fever Dreams » There’s No Refund for Real Life with Stephen Jenkinson & Kimberly Ann Johnson »

Kati Bird is the very first person to teach me about Shibari, the Japanese bondage system. She now travels the world leading workshops, working with couples and individuals and has zero apologies about a life lived way outside the box.We sit down and dive right into how Kati went from being a wilderness guide to becoming one of the most sought after Shibari teachers in the world. How she manages a life on the road and most importantly about the incredible ways she teaches people to connect deeply to themselves, navigate their traumas, and express themselves in ways they never thought possible, all with rope.This episode is about trust, human connection, and living a truly UNcivilized life.Cheers,TraverConnect with Kati:Learn more about Kati’s work, upcoming events, and travels here:Website — ShibariUnravelled.comInstagram — @becoming_unravelled

Back for his second round on The UNcivilized Podcast, the man who trains Special Forces Operators on how to use chaos to their advantage and tap into their instinct and intuition. Don’t worry, his work is applicable to all — even the school children he teaches his programs to.Angus Fletcher is the author of Primal Intelligence and a friend of ours at UNcivilized. In this conversation we dive into the future with AI, how to be harder to kill, and why having the ability to rapidly create a plan is the difference maker whether you’re hunting down an enemy, trying to grow your company to seven figures, or get along with your partner.This is a fast paced episode filled with gems, so hang on to your hat!Cheers,TraverFor more from Angus, visit his websites at AngusFletcher.co and OperationHuman.com. You can also order his book, Primal Intelligence: You Are Smarter Than You Know, now available through Amazon and Penguin Random House.To hear more from Angus, check out his first appearance on The UNcivilized Podcast, titled “How Story Thinking is the Operating System of the Brain”, available on Spotify and on the UNcivilized blog.

Miles rote started his career as United States Marine, then became a Police Officer, then a Private Investigator, then a yoga teacher, and now runs one of the most successful book publishing companies in the world. Like me, he’s also a giant AI dork.His life story is twisty, turny, and incredibly wild. We talk about choosing a path for your life, knowing when to make a hard pivot when your intuition tells you, why going all in is the only way to go — and stick around for the end of the episode when Miles openly shares about finding out the man he was told was his father, ended up not being so.This episode is about overcoming obstacles, dealing with pain, and living a truly UNcivilized life.Cheers,TraverConnect with Miles Rote:Website: Author.IncInstagram: @MilesRote

Imagine dating in your twenties, getting married, and now in your mid forties or fifties, you’re back in the dating world — and it’s a mess!In this conversation I chat with a woman who has built one of the largest match making and dating coaching businesses in the world. Hell, match.com tried to buy her last business!While we joke and laugh through it all we do get down to what works and what doesn’t work for this age group. Andrea’s book The Second Act is written for singles over forty but is now being read by twenty and thirty somethings as well.I had a blast with this conversation and am excited to share it with you.Cheers,TraverGrab your copy of Andrea’s bookLearn more about Andrea

Yep, you read the title correctly. This week I sit down with a young man from Colorado Springs who is planning on running 500 miles with a team of doctors and experts — all the while consuming LSD and psilocybin.Wild to say the least. We jam on what originally created the idea for this project, how it will be managed, and what Dante hopes comes from it.This episode is short and straight to the point.Cheers,TraverFollow Dante and his journey:Instagram: @BuffaloWarriorYouTube: @DanteLiberato9937SFFR Films Documentary Trailer:Dante (Official Teaser)🎧 Available now where you listen to podcasts📺 Full video on YouTube

If you’re a new dad, or know a new dad this episode is for you.Hell, even if you’re not one, this is an honest conversation about the massive initiation that is fatherhood. In this episode I sit down with my good friend and brother Dr. Long Distance Love Bombs and chat with him about all the ways, both amazing and challenging, that his life has changed since becoming a dad this past year.We talk anger, depression, jubilance and of course — the pressure. Jeremy opens up completely in a candid and vulnerable way about his whole experience.I loved this conversation and am excited to share it with you. Please share this with a new or expecting father in your life.Cheers,TraverExplore The Do Hard Shit Program created by Traver and Jeremy:https://www.manuncivilized.com/dohardshitWant more from Jeremy? Follow his work, his words, and his mission to bring more kindness, honesty, and depth into the world.Instagram: @LongDistanceLoveBombsYouTube: Long Distance Love BombsWebsite: longdistancelovebombs.com🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts

Most people think this is about mental toughness. It's not.This episode covers what I packed, what I wish I hadn't, what saved me, and what almost broke me. But more importantly — it’s about how surrender is the only real survival skill worth having.I share the little rituals and practices that got me through the most intense parts of the experience, and what I'll be doing differently this time around. If you're planning your own deep dive, or just curious how to prepare for one, this episode is your guide. Practical, honest, and full of unexpected lessons from the dark.Cheers,  Traver

There's a lot of talk about masculinity out there. Most of it's noise.In the dark, I discovered a version of masculinity that had nothing to prove, nothing to fight, and nothing to perform. Just strength. Stillness. Surrender. This episode is about how darkness stripped me down to the bones--and what I found underneath.I talk about the power of discipline without ego, devotion without force, and why surrender is one of the most misunderstood strengths a man can possess. If you're tired of performance-based masculinity, this one's a breath of fresh air.Cheers,  Traver

Pain doesn't leave the body until it's been felt.In this episode, I talk about how darkness forced me to feel the stuff I spent years running from--grief, heartbreak, shame. All of it. No therapist. No journal. Just pitch black silence and a willingness to not run.I open up about what happened when I finally let the pain have a voice, and what healing looked like when there was no one around to witness it. This one's about shadow work, emotional truth, and what's possible when you stop trying to fix yourself and just sit with what is.If you've been carrying something heavy for too long, listen to this. If you've ever wondered how healing actually happens--this is where it begins.Cheers,  Traver

Ever sat still long enough to hear yourself think? What about long enough to hear yourself scream?This episode is about the three characters that show up when the world goes quiet--fear, boredom, and madness. I met all three of them in the dark. Some of them became friends. Some... not so much.I get into the games your mind plays when there's no one to distract you, and how facing these voices helped me reclaim parts of myself I didn't even realize I had buried. This is about going beyond self-help into self-reckoning. It's a wild one, and it might just mirror something you've felt but haven't named yet.Cheers,  Traver

We live in a world built on distraction--dopamine loops, constant noise, nonstop input. But what happens when you take it all away?In this one, I share what it felt like to remove every single thing I usually lean on--no Instagram, no podcasts, no books, no light. Just stillness and space. Spoiler alert: it sucked. Then it got profound.This episode isn't just about silence--it's about withdrawal, confrontation, and ultimately transformation. I talk about the chaos that surfaced when I stopped numbing myself and what broke through once I made it through the noise. If you've ever wondered who you are without your coping mechanisms, this one's for you.Cheers,  Traver

If you've ever wanted to run away from your life for a bit--or just hide in a closet with no phone--you're going to get this one.In this episode, I dive into why I chose to sit in total darkness for 28 days... and why I'm going back in for **49**. No phone. No light. No distractions. Just me, my mind, and whatever monsters show up when there's nothing else to hold onto. It wasn't just an escape--it was a full-on confrontation with myself. And in that confrontation, I found answers I didn't even know I was looking for. This episode is a window into the madness, the medicine, and the real reason I think every human needs a version of this. If you've ever felt the need to reset, unplug, or just get real with yourself — this one's for you.Cheers,  Traver

In this episode I’ll talk about why so many of us find ourselves in a constant cycle of self betrayal all in the name of fitting in and being loved. OY!We all do it to some degree, but once you see how you betray yourself in the name of keeping and creating connection and belonging, your life will change forever. I’ll share with you a single sentence that you can apply to any form of self betrayal so you do just that — see it plane site — and then make the conscious decision to stop living against your value.Alignment isn’t easy but it’s pure freedom.Please do me a favor and share this episode with one person in your life.Cheers,Traver

If you’re a man who has sex, or know one who does, this episode is for you.Taylor Johnson used to be addicted to porn. Heavily. And like so many men, it destroyed his sex life. It led to erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, depression and anxiety. Sounds great doesn’t it?After putting himself through a series of abstinence experiments his whole life began to change — both in the bedroom with successful and gratifying sex, as well as outside of hit with a massive increase in his income.Taking that ball and running with it, Taylor then went on to study with the greats in tantra, sacred sexuality, and energetics. He now teaches men how to be extraordinary lovers as well as living kick ass lives.I loved this conversation and am excited to share it with you.Cheers,TraverTo learn more or to work with Taylor, Click Here.You can find Taylor on social media @TaylorClarkJohnson

In this episode I’ll talk about five of the most important factors for you to consider if you’re in a breakup or divorce.My writing career kicked off with a book about how to use the pain of your breakup or divorce to transform your life, so this is my bread and butter! Since that book I’ve worked with thousands of people who are now on the other side of heartbreak and most are living lives they never thought possible.Knowing these are the keys to the kingdom:— You will be okay, you just won’t be for a bit— It’s okay to not be okay— You won’t die, but part of you will and that’s a good thing— Pain is fuel (this is a BIG one)— The reasons your breakup happened can lead you to a goldmine.Heartbreak is brutal, but on the other side of it can be a freedom you only dreamed of.Please do me a favor and share this episode with one person in your life.Cheers,TraverInterested in one of Traver's books? Find Them Here

In this episode I speak with renowned author Dr. Douglas Thomas on what makes people tick in the bedroom and beyond it.After reading Dr. Thomas’s book, The Deep Psychology of BDSM & Kink while in Costa Rica, I reached out to Dr. Thomas to see if he’d come on the podcast with me. He agreed and magic was made. We talk archetypes, the power of our sexuality, and at the end dive into the changes that AI and robotics may have on our bedroom lives.I loved this conversation and am excited to share it with you.Cheers,Traver

In this episode I’ll talk about how and why you need to get past the idea that people who don’t live like you do or even want to, are supposed to understand you.If there’s one thing that needs to be navigated in order to live a life outside of the box — it’s being misunderstood. This comes from family, friends, and of course, perfect strangers who have internet access to you.Learning to work through what’s different about you (these are good things) and owning the fact you can’t have uncommon or UNcivilized outcomes while being celebrated by folks trapped in the matrix is a big deal.And on the other side of it is freedom.Please do me a favor and share this episode with one person in your life.Cheers,Traver

If you’re curious how to build more trust, devotion, and polarity in your relationship, this episode is for you.Ever wonder what really happens in a relationship dynamic where both parties have agreed to a complete Dom/sub relationship? Ever wonder how that dynamic could help you be a better partner in your own relationship, no matter how it’s put together?In this candid conversation with Andrew from Infinite Devotion, we get into all the pros, cons, and learning lessons he and his wife Dawn have had on their journey from a burnt out, borderline cliche married couple, to one thriving in a new dynamic.Please do me a favor and share this episode with one person in your life.Cheers,Traver

Every time I have a client say their stuck because they’re afraid of either failure or success I roll my eyes and say — OH LORD. No you’re not. You’re afraid of the unknown. The deep unknown. The things you can’t even conceptualize right now.And — you need to start anyway. Anyone and everyone you know who’s done something outside of their comfort zone has had the exact same stuck feeling. Stick around to the end of this already short episode where I give you three ways to get unstuck immediately.Please do me a favor and share this episode with one person in your life.Cheers,Traver

Now more than ever, people are craving a deeper experience of their lives. I bet you can relate. In this episode I speak with Boulder Outdoor Survival School graduate, Men’s Work Facilitator, and BJJ enthusiast Evan Meyer on his own path towards living a soul based life, the pain and turmoil he’s had to go through to get where he’s at, and of course, his favorite Jiujitsu submission.If you’re curious about not only how to navigate big transitions in your life but also what depth they may reveal, this episode is for you.Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty. Cheers,Traver

Myth. Sex. Pleasure. Oh my.In this conversation with author and Depth Psychologist Dr. Alanna Kaivalya we jam on several aspects of relationship and female pleasure. And this podcast isn’t just for our female listeners, guys you will glean much from this episode as well.Dr. Kaivalya has a unique lens on the relationship world as both a psychologist and someone who has a deep understanding of myth, masculine and feminine dynamics, and sexuality.This interview was a ton of fun to do and I know you’ll enjoy it.Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty. Cheers,Traver

Today I bring you another Irishman and a fascinating one at that. Pat is a good friend of the Uncivilized world and has been leading a life worthy of the title of Uncivilized since before we were born.In this episode we follow Pat’s career going from fitness success and lack of satisfaction into the world of Breathwork and how that has radically changed his life. Pat’s openness about the truth of business and entrepreneurship as well as his deep understanding of the body’s use of breath makes this episode on you don’t want to miss.Pat also does Brazilian Jiujitsu which means he’s awesome. Fact.Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty. Cheers,Traver

Considering the fact that it’s reason the species perpetuates, the difference between friendships and romantic relationships, as well as a MASSIVE source of both life’s pleasures and pain — it’s shocking that we don’t have more open and honest conversations about sex.In this episode I get to ask Dr. Kelly all the questions you men ask me, covering such topics and erectile disfunction, premature ejaculation, and even what happens if you “break” your penis — not something I have experience with or knowledge of, but apparently it happens!Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty. Cheers,Traver

Michael Gay is Uncivilized royalty, having been there from the beginning and is one of our co-leaders in our workshops. He’s also a licensed therapist and would probably be happiest living in the woods.In this episode we explore the ways men and women both can create a deeper relationship with your intuition and the parts of your body and knowings that the civilized world divorces you from.This is a great episode for anyone who wants a greater understanding of the how’s and why’s you exist in the world in the ways that you do. Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty. Cheers,Traver

Chris is an old friend of The Uncivilized Podcast and in his third appearance with us speaks to the ways that we all numb and disconnect from our bodies, and the truth we’re so afraid to acknowledge.In this potent exercise we speak of potent ways to be in your body, to live more powerfully, and experience who we are underneath lives shackled with fear and contraction.Stick around to the end of this episode as Chris drops some fiery gems in the last 10 minutes!Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty. Cheers,Traver

NAME YOUR YEAR—START YOURS NOWIt’s February. Too late.(No it's not.)For years, men and women around the world have kicked off their journeys with my powerful ritual—Naming Your Year.It’s not a resolution.Not a wish list.Not another empty promise.It’s a stake in the ground. A declaration. A call to something greater.In this recorded call, Traver and the uncivilized crew walk you through the process of claiming your year, setting your intention, and stepping into the version of yourself that refuses to live on autopilot.It doesn’t matter if January slipped by in a haze.You can start today.Cheers,Traver

Let’s talk tantric sex, full body non ejaculatory orgasms, psychedelics, and the dark masculine… In this episode with renowned Men’s Leader Adayemi Adayosoye we get into all of it. We cover the conditioning and patterning that leads men to live lives of drudgery and quiet misery rather than truth and ecstatic joy. This is a powerful episode for men who are ready to live in a completely separate reality from the one you’re most likely walking around in. Listen at your discretion! Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver

In this episode you get to peak behind the coaching curtain and watch me work one-on-one with a man who’s struggling bringing structure into his life. This is showing up in his challenge around meal planning and workout programming, as well as the deeper issue at hand: — This is a protection mechanism keeping him from getting what he really wants. What does he really want? A deep connection with the men in his life. A deep connection with friends and loved ones. And of course, not take all of the time and energy that he’s spending keeping every single option open to him (how exhausting) and use that time and energy to reach a higher purpose. This is potent conversation about responsibility, maturity, and discipline and how all three actually do foster more feelings and experiences of freedom. Enjoy. Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver

I’m a True Crime dork, and if you are too, then this episode is for you. Hell, even if you’re not this episode will show the path of a man who was deep in a music career, had a hiccup, then on a whim after a single conversation decided to try something new. Millions and millions of downloads later with popular shows such as In The Red Clay, Drowning Creek, Fox Hunter, and In The Land of Lies — Sean’s life is going in an entirely new direction. We dive into his creative process, the toll these projects take on him personally, and how he balances putting himself in precarious situations for work now that he’s a husband and a father. Enjoy. Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver

If you’re a Nice Guy, or someone who is going through a breakup or divorce — then this episode is for you. In this edition of the UNcivilized Podcast, I have a man from my Kill The Nice Guy community who asked me a straight up question: How do I heal these Nice Guy parts of me? And boy do we get into it. As someone who figured out he was a Nice Guy during my own divorce, I had a lot to say on this topic. First about the painful power of initiation, then about the root causes of Nice Guy behavior and how he can start to heal himself without years of therapy. This was an incredible conversation about topics so many men struggle with. This is a powerful episode and I’m grateful of the openness of my guest. Enjoy. Please do share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver P.S. Want Traver as YOUR coach? Apply for coaching at www.manuncivilized.com/coaching!

Gavin Meenan is a world-class men’s coach in Ireland. But he wasn’t always. At one point, he was a porn-addicted young father, buried in grief and shame. And it wasn’t until his porn use became public when videos of him in chat rooms made their way around the internet that he was able to shift his life forever. In his candid and open conversation, Gavin and I discuss the secret addiction so many men suffer with and how you can start to change it. Porn’s not going anywhere, in fact it’s only going to become more personalized and prevalent.  This is a powerful episode all men should listen to. Enjoy. Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver

In this episode Hendrix and I dive into the ways men end up trapped with money, stuck in debt, and otherwise feeling disempowered when it comes to their finances. We talk about common stories men hold and how to break them — mostly by creating an actual relationship with money they’ve never had before. We also dig into why so many men who say they want to make millions and millions of dollars are actually terrified of doing so and secretly sabotaging their own wealth. AND — this is not just a conversation men should listen to, it’s packed with gems for anyone who’s interested in making more money, saving more money, and feeling more free. Enjoy. Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver

The connection we create around us will always be the key to building relationships where we can be ourselves without the need to hide any feelings. In this episode, I had a pleasant conversation with another exceptional man, my friend Mark Groves. Mark will explain what all these connections are about and why it is so important for us, as men, to establish strong relationships with other people. So, it is time to press play and start knowing how to build these connections, your integrity as men, and feel the freedom to be yourself.

I stumbled upon David’s work just a short time ago and was immediately hooked. After leaving a successful acting career in Hollywood, David did what very few actors do and became a therapist! And a brilliant one at that. In this episode we talk about following the path of your soul, about the ways men trip themselves up, and the common challenges found int relationship. This is a powerful episode with a powerful man. Enjoy. Please do share this with one person in your life, or twenty. Cheers, Traver

This is a big topic and one that often gets overlooked or misunderstood by most men. And, here at UNcivilized we’re interested in supporting you in becoming unlike most men. Radically so. In this solo episode I give you four concrete ways you can shift your own ways to help everyone around you feel safer, especially any woman in your life. They’re powerful. They’re field tested. And they work. Enjoy. Please do share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver

Raj Jana is wears many hats. CEO of a tech company, teacher, speaker, podcast host, and seeker. Getting to sit down with him here in Boulder was an incredible experience as we dove into his journey from running a coffee startup to his now leading a team of entrepreneurs creating digital mapping of our emotional lives. This is a great episode if you're curious about how humans operate, the power of alignment and integrity in business and relationships, and if you just want to listen to someone who is whip smart and funny as hell. Please also share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver