PODCAST · society
The Unwritable Rant
by Juliette Miranda
Join author and occasional misanthrope Juliette Miranda for bourbon-soaked personal stories and celebrity interviews. From misadventures working in the music industry, dating disasters and an incautious life with "her guy," Juliette knocks back 30 minutes of relatable, revealing, and comically real stories. She occasionally invites top comedians, actors, and musicians to join her and share their own stories about life and more. Every episode is paired with a short bourbon review, because all good stories should come with a side of booze.
Episodes
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Ep 258 - A life reboot, caravan of amateurs, and two rock 'n' roll relationships
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette refuses to trust a Mississippi disaster, dodges a blade, takes to the road with the Alley Cats, rides in full of glory, makes desperate calls, raises awareness, gets funky and foul, visits a town where nobody wins, rages over a word, chooses...
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Ep 257 Pagan mumbo jumbo, bad elements, and a questionable figure
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette encounters a dirty thug in a pink shell, questions a midsummer argument, runs hot with Daisy, visits dead land, hunts down boys and ghosts, flees a troop of handsy locals, meets a disturbing figure, desperately needs a key, and decides to look...
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Ep 256 - The greatest spirit animal ever, harbingers of doom, and outlaw ethics
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette meets spirit animal Edmund, questions wonky streets, is unwelcome at a crawfish boil, dodges carcasses, appreciates a scoundrel, follows the road to hell, discovers a strange hotel, learns how to finesse a lock, volunteers a piano man, and…
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Ep 255 - Secret menus, the risks of easy money, and the end of Crazytown
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette picks up where a Crazytown night left off, admits to being a terrible stripper, establishes rabbit hole rules, descends into friendship hell, checks faux hooker backgrounds, attempts to help, goes in for a rage-fueled rescue, bounces but does...
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Ep 253 - Emoji abuse, joining a winner's circle, and chewed to death by chihuahuas
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette does a safety dance, reunites with Texas and Birdie, prowls the night, plays the horses, hears scales, profits off a bachelorette party, leads a Bacchanalian rodeo, loses friends to Bourbon Street, finds a Quarter bulldog, breaks up a dirty...
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Ep 241 - Unwilling hypnosis, goat horns, and a heaping of medieval necromancy
On this shot of bourbon-soaked scary storytelling, Juliette welcomes Halloween, discusses her evil to good ratio, dates a Satanist, heads to a cabin in the woods, rearranges an alter, experiences unwilling hypnosis, becomes an unwitting Earth mother, is outnumbered by a coven, mousetraps a…
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Ep 240 - Lathering over LaLaurie, shedding dead weight, and shucking more than oysters
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette listens with too much enthusiasm, lacks $300 worth of information, consults her mental map, considers murder plans, doubles her foursome, walks to the LaLaurie Mansion, encounters a ghost tour, tells the less grim version, doubts crab…
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Ep 239 - Revisiting Clarissa, killer clowns, and a Crazytown Halloween
On this shot of bourbon-soaked scary storytelling, Juliette plays the part of the Cryptkeeper, contemplates dread, decides on a piercing, meets Clarissa, finds blood on white vinyl, receives a dermal punch, flees the scene, wears a slutty costume, goes trick or treating with Crazytown, encounters...
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Ep 238 - Creepy creativity, drug store demons, and harvesters of decay
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette gets into Halloween prep, prefers scary to merry, builds a haunted house, misunderstands evil chickens, channels a drug store devil, annoys a flock of nuns, receives parental involvement, is threatened with a party, witnesses three courses of...
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Ep 237 - A noisy beacon, bathroom confrontations, and a bully reckoning
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette learns that nothing is easy, receives an unwelcome email, remembers the so-called human Macy, earns a groupie golden ticket, enjoys a limited friendship, calls a teen party line, begins to miss certain things, experiences her first bathroom...
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Ep 236 - Recreating Woodstock, gas can booze, and Crazytown on wheels
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette discusses hurricane preparation, plans a Rock 'N Rollin Eve with Crazytown, negotiates like a rodeo clown, books a fantasy, deals with soap scum, melts down, eyes a thong leotard, forgets an exit strategy, meets Lady MacDeath and the Barbie...
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Ep 235 - Touching privileges, eating my own heart, and a Homecoming intervention
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette sends soap flying, enters an arrangement of convenience, appreciates a stronger cadence, considers homecoming, dates an older guy, rejects a steady stream, wears a flower bomb, reconsiders misgivings, enjoys three dances, attempts to break…
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Ep 234 - Conditional couples, garage sale hot plates, and a social scorecard
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette is too much to invite back, debates the conditions of friendship, meets The Oscars, breaks out her deranged microscope, refuses to connect imaginary dots, attends a murder-free block party, makes a gross mistake, sets a garage on fire, and...
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Ep 233 - Interview with Fee Waybill from The Tubes
On this interview episode, Juliette and her guy talk to Fee Waybill, frontman for the band The Tubes. Fee discusses his new rock album "Fee Waybill Rides Again" as well as The Tubes history, relationship with producer David Foster, experiences working on Xanadu and with choreographer Kenny…
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Ep 232 - Socializing with the devil, an unwelcome paramour, and the wrath of Texas
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette welcomes Texas to town, appreciates Alpine Valley Music Theater, visits a rock star petting zoo, follows a trail of empty bottles, penetrates a fortress of blonde bimbos, has a carried-a-watmelon moment, visits Sylvain, picks up a stray in...
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Ep231 - Interview with Jon Anderson from the band YES
An interview episode with Jon Anderson from the band YES. Anderson was the author and a major creative influence behind the ground-breaking album Fragile as well as the series of epic hits, including "I've Seen All Good People," "Roundabout," and "Owner Of A Lonely Heart." Jon discusses his…
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Ep 230 - Jumped by a ghost, weird coincidences, and taking the long way home
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette can't escape ghosts, cuts through a prairie, forces a secret, questions an urban legend, understands salt, dismisses a vortex, brings French fries to a ritual, stomps into the thick of it all, smudges negativity, looks up, witnesses volatile...
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Ep 229 - Romantic delusions, second times, and peppering a butt
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette is sweaty as balls, relates her favorite summer song, spends a summer without virginity, stares down Fabio wannabes, locks eyes with Gunsmoke, is rattled by a blast, sets off puttering, experiences a second time, gets yelly, scatters through a...
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Ep 228 - An insidious pest, sticky trails, and the summer of independence
On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette names her rats, experiences her first summer of independence, invites Crazytown to a party, wakes up with houseguests, hears an unsettling secret, tries to empty a menagerie, meets a four-legged fiend, makes a grown-up decision, and receives...
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Ep 227- A vile kind of genius, soft punches, and meeting crazy with crazy
In this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette considers unconventional methods, manages interns, wrongly romanticizes, scratches a blank slate, meets Queen Bee Paige, loses her cool, makes a stupid threat, requests advice from her dad, actually doesn't break the rules, and softens a punch.
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Ep 226 - Harboring a unicorn horn, getting a grip, and baring it all
In this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette marvels at the small world of musicians, contemplates guy bangs, hates a hat, becomes rumor mill fodder, flees an interview, beats herself up, gets perspective from an unexpected source, exposes a shortcoming, and appreciates what she has.
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Ep 225 - Rolling out the dirty red carpet, uncomfortable protocol, and an almost good idea
Juliette returns to her everyday bourbon-soaked storytelling, hears bells, makes an unfortunate discovery, handles a gross issue, questions a gurgle, witnesses 150 years of sludge, sends many emojis, finds her guy detained, questions resolve, makes an illogical conclusion, requires gumbo…
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Ep 224 - Morning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 39-50
A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 39-50 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis: The mostly true story of a girl trying to reconcile her rock 'n' roll roots with a new reality. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not...
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Ep 223 - Morning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 29-38
special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 29-38 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis: The mostly true story of a girl trying to reconcile her rock 'n' roll roots with a new reality. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not…
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Ep 222 - Morning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 23-28
A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 23-28 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. Juliette's regular bourbon-soaked storytelling will resume on June 7,...
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Ep 221 - Morning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 14-22
A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 14-22 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. This episode is brought to you by Sawyer, a US-based outdoor gear...
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Ep 220 - Morning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 1-13
A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 1-13 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. This episode is brought to you by Sawyer, a US-based outdoor gear...
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Ep 219 - Irrational love, a brazen inferno, and 100,000 miles of adventure
Juliette takes her top down, specializes in irrational love, attempts to play it cool, gets heads turning, becomes encased in snow, focuses on death, accepts Ollie's Place, meets a moose, is laughed out of a barn, and continues her path… all while drinking Woodford Reserve Distiller's Masterpiece...
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Ep 218 - Masterminds, mouse turds, and a sad attempt at dominance
Juliette drinks early, burns a bridge, accepts a misleading position, fights an office battle, appreciates a technological failure, is denied a shining moment, delivers a parting gift, and provides payback… all while drinking Knob Creek 12 Year bourbon. This episode of The Unwritable Rant is...
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Ep 217 - Overlapping stories, unexpected modifications, and a greedy decision
Juliette gets in touch, shares an interest with Texas, meets an old crush, is surprised by a modification, gets a handful, makes a sad connection, plans a fun sendoff, melts at a gift, has second thoughts, makes a good decision, gives a guy an out, seeks a dark corner, takes a dive into gleeful...
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Ep 216 - Proper dates, excruciating romance, and a too-nice guy
Juliette finds herself un an unusual position, opts for clandestine color, meets a too-nice guy, lacks enthusiasm, experiences perverse curiosity, gets the icks, joins an unsurprising picnic, tests tolerance, refuses worship, experiences excruciating romance, seriously hates cake, calls on a…
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Ep 215 - Social selling, regret cycles, and topping the trash heap
Juliette calls out Craig's List, hopes to be the exception, experiences immediate regret, sifts through flakes, attempts a transaction, longs to hurl a phone, questions her throw down ability, recoils from a box, elects to trash a set, relies on resourcefulness, is interrupted by Citizen Prissy...
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Ep 214 - Shooting stars, killer campaigns, and a large blue duck
Juliette finds an unusual carcass, enjoys hunting, introduces Raven, appreciates differences, participates in the height of adolescent nightlife, shoots out a star, lays claim to a duck, employs principles, spreads the word, misses a friend, becomes a poster child, and accepts what she knows… all...
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Ep 213 - Pedestrian leftovers, aggressive overcorrections, and a displaced mermaid tail
Juliette abuses another friendship, borrows a boat, comes with a mess, tries to follow the rules, moves to the floor, becomes drunk hungry, violates a skillet, hears voices, navigates a nightmare, itches backwards, takes out a mirror, provides unhelpful assistance, and tries real hard… all while...
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Ep 212 - Equally despicable people, rainy day stock, and meeting The Bugaboo
Juliette delivers two middle fingers, shacks up with The Informant, wears a dirty crumb, is unable to rustle up a gig, answers a pounding, feels her teeth move, takes stock, experiences an adrenaline surge, looks like a monster, says goodbye, and takes a walk toward the right kind of crazy… all...
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Ep 211 - Killer cake, stripper fingerprints, and a giant misstep
Juliette celebrates her birthday, recognizes the tolerance of Texas, settles on the less gratuitous Rooster, is too deviant for a dating site, witnesses tongue twirling, pretends it's her party, gets denied dinner and cake, runs away, seeks solace like Vince Neil, drinks up, blinks away spots…
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Ep 210 - Interview with Kip Winger
Juliette speaks with Grammy-nominated musician Kip Winger. Kip got his start playing bass for Alice Cooper. He formed rock band Winger in the 80s, who is still touring and making music today. He is also a composer of classical symphonies. In this conversation, Kip discusses his unusual career,...
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Ep 209 - A tainted highway, fretful fingering, and a zippy little coupe
Juliette is ready to make a move, packs up deluded dreams, points westward, makes a friendship of convenience, enters Nebraska, loathes a fretboard, misses a roadblock, confronts a barrel, makes a startling pass, loses air, fears following, takes her chances on bedbugs and blood stains, discovers...
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Ep 208 - Softcore Saturday, janky bungalows, and a dare in disguise
Juliette has another Crazytown adventure, recalls the south side of Chicago, falls for the tragic, wants more than friendship, axes the girlfriend, attends Softcore Saturday, appreciates the good toilet paper, goes in for the kiss, accepts a girl dare, and understands the line… all while Drinking...
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Ep 207 - Fist force, bootlegger choreography, and a five-alarm stalker
Juliette contends with an unexpected word, introduces The Kraken, succeeds at a coveted crossover, dodges kaleidoscopic insanity, enjoys a 10-year safety zone, feels a kinship to crazy, expects Ted Bundy, breaks up a seduction dance, finds the inner sanctum of a speakeasy, and appreciates good...
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Ep 206 - Family plaid, playing the quote game, and a horrid holiday tale
Juliette considers the two types of Christmas people, finds a princess, goes to a perfect home for the holidays, opens with an apology, makes a gremlin, gives thanks, reconsiders her gift, crosses a line, sticks out a disaster, shares an inappropriate tradition, and rejects the family plaid… all...
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Ep 205 - A sordid caper, low wattage, and becoming the Martha Quinn of the cornfields
Juliette finds a rural route antenna, attempts to pump up the volume, speaks into an endless void, seduces farm folk, curls up under a console, dates a one-size-fits-all guy, looses her patience, answers a knock on her barn door, engages in a sordid caper, ignores the consequences, and…
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Ep 204 - Reckless jobs, a designer wonderland, and Thanksgiving severance
Juliette learns the layoff routine, bursts the dot-com bubble, accepts a disgusting amount of money, enjoys a feast, rents a capuchin monkey, loses the nice-to-haves, produces trash, maps out a productive exit, channels Office Space, sticks it, and accepts famine with class… all while drinking...
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Ep 203 - Interview with Leif Garrett
My guest on the show is teen idol Leif Garrett. He's just released his first book, "Idol Truth," which details his career as a singer and actor, as well as his experiences as an addict. Y'all, this interview was so much fun! Leif is honest and open, and we talk about music, writing, a road trip…
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Ep 202 - Organic productions, frontier stitches, and a happy death heap
Juliette remembers the rainbow connection, reveals a fundamental truth, accepts a psycho part, lands at a mission church, lacks plans, questions a vision, witnesses a meaty wound, accepts a method, embraces stabbing, makes a bloody mess, and holds out hope for her ragtag troop… All while drinking...
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Ep 201 - Bed buddies, business agreements, and crashing a wedding
Juliette ducks out, considers the secret to successful crashing, accepts a business arrangement, becomes arm candy, wakes up in Florida, reconsiders a ruse, meets Daisy and Gus, hears a tone, requires a crazy explanation, overhears the truth, dumps her shoes, dodges a redneck disaster, and…
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EP 200 - Interview with Sara Karloff
Join Juliette for a conversation with Sara Karloff. Daughter of actor Boris Karloff, Sara discusses her father's role as Frankenstein's monster, rumors about a rivalry with Bela Lugosi, Universal horror movies, and classic Hollywood cinema. Plus, find out what Boris did with his Grammy award for...
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Ep 199 - Last chance adventure, relocating coffins, and hunting Resurrection Mary
Juliette falls in the middle, seeks a lady in white, wonders if Resurrection Mary exists, enlists her friend Texas in a stakeout, bursts a bubble, is denied digital gear, visits a ballroom, lacks creepiness, seeks ghostly energy, breaks into a cemetery, gets stopped by footsteps, records a crime,...
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Ep 198 - Terrors of the night, false protection, and voices from the ether
Juliette can't wake up from the terror, requires subconscious explanation, recounts the weird 70s, discovers the Leek Sisters, is born in witch country, talks to invisible companions, lives in comfort, makes ouija board contact, looks for a sign, winds up in the cellar, and receives an unnerving...
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Ep 197 - A furry flash, weaponizing a toilet, and cardboard standoffs
Juliette watches her house fall apart, objects to bandages, takes matters into her hands, lacks qualifications, has an Edgar Allen Poe moment, unleashes a furry flash, bickers over a toilet weapon, questions her guy's sanity, hums a lullaby, attempts to snatch a box, plays the sheriff, and preens...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Join author and occasional misanthrope Juliette Miranda for bourbon-soaked personal stories and celebrity interviews. From misadventures working in the music industry, dating disasters and an incautious life with "her guy," Juliette knocks back 30 minutes of relatable, revealing, and comically real stories. She occasionally invites top comedians, actors, and musicians to join her and share their own stories about life and more. Every episode is paired with a short bourbon review, because all good stories should come with a side of booze.
HOSTED BY
Juliette Miranda
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Unwritable Rant have?
The Unwritable Rant currently has 267 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Unwritable Rant about?
Join author and occasional misanthrope Juliette Miranda for bourbon-soaked personal stories and celebrity interviews. From misadventures working in the music industry, dating disasters and an incautious life with "her guy," Juliette knocks back 30 minutes of relatable, revealing, and comically real...
How often does The Unwritable Rant release new episodes?
The Unwritable Rant publishes regularly with 267 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to The Unwritable Rant?
You can listen to The Unwritable Rant on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Unwritable Rant?
The Unwritable Rant is created and hosted by Juliette Miranda.
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