The War After the War

I can be grateful for the VA and still believe parts of the system are broken.In Episode 9 of The War After the War, I open up about my VA journey—a process that began more than a decade ago—and the complicated relationship I've developed with the system along the way.The VA isn't one thing to me. I've received mental-health treatment, therapy, and care from people within the VA who genuinely wanted to help me. Some of that treatment has forced me to confront things I spent years trying to bury, and I'm grateful for the people who have stood beside me while I've worked through PTSD and TBI.But then there's the other side of my experience: the Veterans Benefits Administration.Claims. C&P exams. Ratings. Decisions. Denials. Appeals. Waiting. And the incredibly difficult experience of taking some of the worst moments of your life and turning them into evidence so someone who has never met you can determine how your military service affected you.This episode isn't about attacking every VA employee or claiming every decision should favor the veteran. There are good people throughout the VA—including people doing incredibly important work for veterans every day.It's about asking the system to remember something simple:There is a human being behind that file.Read the evidence. Listen to the veteran. Understand that having a career, earning degrees, raising a family, or appearing successful doesn't necessarily mean someone isn't struggling behind closed doors.I'm grateful for what the VA has done for me.I'm also frustrated by what I've experienced.Those two things can exist at the same time.I don't want to tear the VA down.I want it to be better.Because veterans already fought one war. Getting the care and benefits we've earned shouldn't feel like another one.Veterans Crisis LineIf you're a Veteran in crisis or concerned about one, help is available 24/7.Call 988, then press 1Text 838255Your VA claim is paperwork.Your life isn't.Stay in the fight.Semper Fi.

In Episode 8 of The War After the War, I talk about what happens when the war doesn't stay overseas—it follows you into the civilian workplace.I share my experience trying to build a career while living with PTSD and TBI, the emotional exhaustion of EMDR therapy and having to relive memories I spent years trying to bury, and how difficult it can be to walk into work and appear “normal” when your mind is fighting a completely different battle.I also talk about what it feels like to work somewhere that says it supports veterans, yet feel misunderstood or judged when your service-connected struggles actually affect how you work or when you need accommodations.This episode isn't about excuses. It's about understanding that functioning doesn't mean someone isn't suffering.Sometimes the veteran sitting beside you at work is using everything they have just to make it through the day.The uniform came off. The fight didn't.If you're a Veteran in crisis or concerned about one, the Veterans Crisis Line is available 24/7.Call 988, then press 1Text 838255You do not have to fight this battle alone.Veterans Crisis Line

Last episode, I told you about the night I almost didn't make it.This episode is about the morning I did.Surviving a suicide attempt doesn't magically fix the things that brought you there. PTSD doesn't disappear. Relationships don't repair themselves. Trust doesn't instantly come back. The consequences don't go away just because you're still alive.In Episode 7 of The War After the War, I talk about what happened after my darkest night the decision to remove firearms from my home, finally taking treatment seriously, accepting responsibility for the people I'd hurt, rebuilding relationships with my children and the people I love, and learning that PTSD can explain some of my behavior without excusing it.This isn't a story about being cured.I'm still going to therapy. I'm still dealing with PTSD and TBI. I'm still learning my warning signs. I'm still rebuilding parts of my life.But there's one major difference between the man I was that night and the man behind this microphone today:Today, I want tomorrow.If you're struggling, don't wait until you reach your version of my October 2024 before asking for help.You don't have to fix your entire life tonight.Just give tomorrow a chance to get here.This episode also recognizes Operation Next Step, a nonprofit organization helping veterans and transitioning service members connect with resources and support. Their services include VA benefits guidance, housing resources, job readiness, and mental health support. Website: Operation Next StepEmail: [email protected]: Operation Next StepTheir mission is about helping those who served take the next step toward stability and success. If you're a Veteran in crisis or you're concerned about one—confidential support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even if you're not enrolled in VA benefits or VA health care. Dial 988, then Press 1Text 838255Chat: Veterans Crisis LineSometimes surviving doesn't give you all the answers.Sometimes it just gives you another day to find them.The uniform came off. The fight didn't.Stay in the fight. Semper Fi.

I survived deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan.But in October 2024, I came dangerously close to losing my life in my own home.In Episode 6 of The War After the War, I tell a story I never imagined I would tell publicly: the night I attempted suicide, the years of PTSD, TBI, anger, relationships, and untreated pain that led me to that point and what happened after I survived.This isn't a story with a perfect ending. I talk about the consequences that followed, the impact on my children and relationships, surrendering my firearms, finally taking treatment seriously, and the work I'm still doing today.I'm not sharing this for sympathy.I'm sharing it because another veteran may be sitting where I once sat, convinced there's nothing left on the other side of tonight.I couldn't see my future that night. That didn't mean I didn't have one.If you're a veteran in crisis or worried you may act on thoughts of suicide, call or text 988, then press 1 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line, or text 838255.The uniform came off. The fight didn't.

Coming home didn’t mean the war was over it just changed battlefields.In this episode of The War After the War, I talk about what PTSD actually looks like nearly 20 years after my first deployment. Not just the memories of Iraq, but what follows you into everyday life: hyper vigilance, sleepless nights, anxiety, relationships, family, work, and the exhausting process of finally admitting you need help.I also talk openly about navigating the VA, fighting for recognition of service-connected conditions, and what it feels like to spend years hiding your struggles only to eventually have to document and explain them to strangers.I’m not telling this story from the finish line. I’m still living it. I’m still in therapy, still working on myself, still navigating the VA, and still learning how to live with PTSD instead of pretending it isn’t there.If you’re fighting your own war after the war or you love someone who is this episode is for you.Operation Next Step is a veteran-founded 501(c)(3) nonprofit helping veterans, transitioning service members, and their families connect with the resources they need. Their work includes VA benefits guidance, employment, housing resources, food assistance, mental health resources, education, and other community support.Their mission is simple: no veteran should have to fight life’s battles alone.You can learn more by visiting www.operationnextstep.org, emailing [email protected], or following them on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at @OperationNextStep.If you’re a veteran in crisis, or you’re concerned about a veteran, help is available.Call or text 988 and press 1 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line, or text 838255.Please don’t fight it alone.The uniform came off. The fight didn’t.Until next time, check on your brothers and sisters. Semper Fi.Operation Next StepVeterans Crisis Line

For years, I convinced everyone including myself that I was okay.After my first deployment to Iraq with Combat Logistics Regiment 15 (CLR-15), I came home carrying more than just memories. I carried anxiety, hyper vigilance, nightmares, and a version of myself that learned to survive in a war zone but never truly learned how to come home.In this episode, I share how that survival mindset became the mask I wore for years. From running convoy missions through Al Anbar Province to building a career, earning degrees, and appearing successful on the outside, I talk about what it was really like to hide the invisible wounds of war while convincing everyone including myself that everything was fine.If you've ever felt like you had to hide your struggles behind a smile, this episode is for you.Veteran ResourcesI'd also like to recognize Operation Next Step, a veteran-founded 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to helping veterans, transitioning service members, and their families connect with the resources they need. They provide guidance with VA benefits, employment, housing, food assistance, mental health resources, education, and other community support—because no veteran should have to fight life's battles alone.You can learn more by visiting www.operationnextstep.org, emailing [email protected], or following them on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at @OperationNextStep. I'll also have all of their contact information and links in the show description, so be sure to check those out after the episode.If you are a veteran in crisis, or you're concerned about one, help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call or text 988, then press 1, or text 838255 to connect directly with the Veterans Crisis Line.You are not alone.

If you've ever felt overwhelmed, carried burdens in silence, or wondered if anyone truly understands what you're going through, this episode is for you.In this episode, I explore the hidden meaning behind the words "I'm tired" and why so many veterans struggle in silence long after their military service ends. We talk about the emotional weight of PTSD, the pressure to always appear strong, and how honest conversations can become the first step toward healing. Whether you're a veteran, a military family member, or someone who wants to better understand the challenges many service members face after coming home, I hope this episode reminds you that no one has to fight alone.If this episode speaks to you, please follow The War After the War, leave a rating or review, and share it with another veteran or military family. Together, we can reach those who may be struggling in silence and remind them that they are never fighting alone.

After Episode 1, I realized there was an important part of my story I hadn't shared. In this episode, I talk about serving as a Marine Reservist, the unique challenges of transitioning between military and civilian life, and why so many reservists feel overlooked after coming home. This isn't about comparing service it's about sharing a perspective that thousands of reservists have lived. If you've ever felt caught between two worlds or struggled to find where you belong after service, this episode is for you.

Episode 1: When PTSD Changed My LifeIn the first episode of The War After the War, I share the moment I realized PTSD wasn't something I left overseas—it had followed me home. I talk about life after the Marine Corps, building a career, the hidden struggles of service-connected PTSD, and why I'm starting this podcast. This is the beginning of my real-time journey through healing, the VA, and rebuilding my life—one episode at a time.