There's More To The Story

Now that we've been through the yuck, we want to learn to be stronger, so we don't easily break again. That means being teachable, and learning the lessons the hard times taught us. It also means choosing different paths the next time, so we don't get hurt again. And while life in this sinful world guarantees we will get hurt, we can minimize the damage, and utilize the tools we have to heal quicker next time. We can also get smarter about recognizing the devil's schemes. He's out to hurt us and to steal our faith. But warriors use the weapons they have to defend against the attacks of the enemy. We can do the same.  

It's hard to heal when we can't put a finger on what is wrong. All too often we are labeling everything depression, instead of what we're really feeling: worthless, overlooked, judged. Once we name what we're really feeling, and the way they made us feel, we can go to God's Word and replace the enemy's lie with truth. Then, using the apostle Paul's words in Philippians 4:8, we'll come up with a new plan; to only let in what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. 

Join me in Milwaukee, WI August 14-15 for the Get Moving Women's Event for a shot of inspiration to do all that God has called you to do. And if you're ready to go abroad, join me in Italy next spring and experience Tuscany while studying the book of Ecclesiastes. And/or consider joining me on a river cruise down the Danube to see Medieval fortresses, amazing cathedrals, and as we near the end of our tour, the Christmas markets of Europe. Sign up is open. Go to amberalbeeswenson.com for all the information.  

A big part of healing is learning what to embrace and what needs to go. Maybe the hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself for being there, for not realizing how bad it was going to get, for trusting people who turned out to be far from trustworthy. Although most of us would love to get rid of our scars, the truth is, they aren't going anywhere. Even Jesus had scars when he rose from the dead. The scars show where we've been, and that we've come out victorious. And then, once we've worked through the wreckage, repented and forgiven, we need to learn to let a lot of stuff go. You probably won't ever get the apology or explanation. You won't get the friendship back. But you'll get peace, and at the end of the day, that's better. 

God gave us survival mode for a reason. It is the place we need to be when everything is chaos, but we don't want to live there forever. Ideally, we get to a place of safety so our body can relax and function the way it is meant to. Triggers are the body's way of alerting us to something that hurt or scared us before, but we don't want to be triggered forever. The trick is to learn to cope, to give your body and mind what it needs to feel safe.   

People say forgive and forget. That isn't possible. It's so much better to take the situations we've been through, forgive those who have hurt us, and learn to avoid similar situations in the future. Forgiving is not impossible. In fact, it's a key component of healing. 

No one likes a sour attitude. It can poison the people around you. One of the best things you can do to make sure bitterness doesn't creep in is to pray for the people who persecuted you.  After all, you becoming bitter doesn't help anything. In fact, it makes the situation worse. 

You weren't meant to go through the hurt alone. Our friends can get us through the worst. They can encourage and support us and pray for us. Their faith can bring prayers to the Father that we aren't strong enough to pray. If you don't have godly Christian friends, start praying God brings them into your life. 

It's normal and totally OK to grieve what you lost or the illusion of what you had. But you can't stay there. Once you've grieved, you have to look forward and appreciate what's ahead. 

You need to identify what is broken before you begin to put it back together. You need to identify the hurt so you can combat it and work to eliminate it. 

There's a tendency to focus on what they did to hurt us. Trust me, we'll get to that. But Jesus told us to first take the plank out of our own eye before worrying about the speck in the other person's eye. Let's start by dealing with our shame and the things we could have done better. Once we embrace a posture of repentance then we'll be ready to face the hurt they inflicted without it poisoning us. 

My story isn't all that interesting, but it does reveal patterns. If you want to get past the past, you have to learn from the past. That's the only way to make sure you do something different next time. Break the patterns. Make different choices so you have a different outcome. 

Too many of us have been stuck in the past for too long. It's time to get serious about moving forward. This is me reaching out to you, inviting you on a journey of hope. Hugs, Amber