thinking out loud

To know thyself is to know both your internal processes as well as the cultural waters in which you swim, and to let curiosity and boredom spurred by rigorous play (rather than willpower) guide you towards what’s actually yours to live. This is a part theoretical & part practical field report made from the middle of that process.This one's quite dense, so I've made an outline to hopefully help you track the moving pieces: https://fieldnotesforafriend.substack.com/p/invisible-beliefsThe references for all the people, essays, and books I mention are also in that same link.Heartfelt thanks to Carmen for your feedback!Episode links:All related material to this video essay (transcripts, references, etc): https://fieldnotesforafriend.substack.com/p/invisible-beliefsYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKWkFoWWr4IFind me elsewhere:- everything: https://linktr.ee/vincent_li- writing: https://substack.com/@vincentli- personal site: https://vincentli.space/- photos: https://www.are.na/vincent-li/vincent-s-photographs- twitter: https://x.com/vincent_yc_liTimestamps:00:00 - [Intro]00:18 - process over product + finding our deepest beliefs through felt contact00:42 - [Chapter 1] The life-long values that drive you00:53 - final ends are our irreducible beliefs01:09 - ecosystem of final ends01:25 - what runs us is what we cannot see01:54 - the belief diagram01:59 - vitality of beliefs: alive vs. dead02:17 - a belief can die through habit alone04:00 - source of beliefs: internal vs. external05:09 - adaptive preferences: what we desire changes based on what we can get06:11 - the diagram are diagnostic lenses06:26 - [Chapter 2] Seeing the invisible beliefs that run us06:33 - the sacred & the profane06:58 - we treat other’s self as a little god, and act accordingly08:42 - friction-chasing: where the suppressed self points10:13 - the holy cows within us: unquestioned ways we perceive10:37 - meditation: dehabituating reactivity12:48 - emotional friction is where the gold lies13:28 - resources for untangling emotional knots14:01 - art as tool for self-investigation15:18 - befriending the unoriginal, the psychotic, and the obscene15:47 - [Chapter 3] Greatness through curiosity, not self-coercion16:07 - okay, but how do you actually find your final ends?16:46 - when you simply don’t know what you want17:06 - curiosity as drive, boredom as clarification19:12 - research is what happens when curiosity meets the unknown19:44 - winning the Nobel Prize through piddling around with the wobbling plate20:31 - greatness does not come solely from pushing yourself into it21:08 - willpower of the head, willpower of the heart21:19 - attention as mechanical, scarce resource vs attention as blooming, growing process21:54 - the cure to addiction is a life worth not escaping22:18 - orthodox priest on lust: don’t fight sensuality with anti-sensuality23:12 - why did most Vietnam war soldiers give up heroin spontaneously24:59 - paying careful attention to what enlivens you25:14 - unfolding over imposing25:58 - [Chapter 4] Disciplined play to change your life26:16 - constraints are not the enemy of creativity26:21 - discipline is not a lack of freedom, but a harmonious relationship with time27:18 - playful rigorous experimentation27:50 - morning pages as a laboratory28:43 - social anxiety experiment: leave 5 conversations30:25 - why morning pages over other journalling practices?30:50 - realizing writing wasn’t actually my medium31:54 - changing your life through intentional playful experimentation32:24 - constraints are both subtractive and additive32:59 - heat sinks: solving procrastination34:37 - building instinct and self-trust to successfully pursue your true desires35:22 - [Recap & outro] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fieldnotesforafriend.substack.com

Most people don’t “get” modern art, believing it’s too abstract. I think it’s actually because modern art is, in some ways, *too* direct, touches too intimately on our direct perceptual and emotional experience. This is one of the great outcomes of the developments in the art world during the 20th century, and in this video essay I trace how it came to be so, and provide a way to encounter modern art that’ll hopefully help you have a richer experience.Episode LinksAll related material to this episode, including the transcript and references: https://fieldnotesforafriend.substack.com/p/good-art-provokes-you-into-experiencingYoutube: https://youtu.be/b81qu9tGYDY?si=9ln0TfGvLr2z1dwAFind me elsewhere:* everything: https://linktr.ee/vincent_li* writing: https://substack.com/@vincentli* personal site: https://vincentli.space/* photos: https://www.are.na/vincent-li/vincent-s-photographs* twitter: https://x.com/vincent_yc_liTimestamps* 00:00 - good art provokes us into the here-now, in an embodied way, to consider the things that matter* 01:06 - art history is a study in how our attention has changed over time* 01:39 - art as inhabiting the world of the artist from their perspective* 02:26 - flattening of the value hierarchy: from Jesus the King to just the color red* 03:05 - Medieval art: spiritual hierarchy* 03:33 - the Renaissance: the dignity of the human* 04:20 - the Baroque: the Catholic Church engineers attention* 05:06 - the Dutch Golden Age: where modernity, domesticity, and the stock market were born* 06:24 - Romanticism: meaning after God* 06:42 - Realism: the unadorned truth of ordinary life* 07:05 - Impressionism: painting how perception feels* 07:53 - the Cambrian explosion of modern art* 08:21 - Rothko paints landscapes of meaning* 08:47 - Cubism: embodied seeing* 10:33 - Hockney’s collages: seeing as fragmented snapshots* 10:44 - Light and Space: the environment is never neutral* 12:01 - John Cage’s 4’33”: the coughing is the music* 12:53 - perception itself is the art act* 13:32 - Marina Abramović: presence as medium* 14:10 - games as crafted modes of being, transforming through play* 15:28 - metaphor versus presence* 16:05 - being here now is uncomfortable, and that’s what makes you alive* 17:00 - a little more aware of how beautiful the world is This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fieldnotesforafriend.substack.com