PODCAST · society
Trandescendant
by Trandescendant Podcast
Father/daughter duo, Joe and Rya, discuss LGBTQ family issues and how to preserve positive relationships
Episodes
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Finding God After the Church Turned Them Away
What do you do when the people who promised to take you in close the door? A local pastor and youth director spent six months planning their youth group's mission trip. After driving the whole day in the bus, they learned they were not welcome. Why? Because the youth group included LGBTQ kids.…
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Coming Out: What No One Ever Tells You
You might think coming out is one brave conversation and then it is over. That framing sets you up to be blindsided by everything that comes after. Nobody warns you that you will have to come out again for the rest of your life. Rya describes what she wishes someone had handed her before she came...
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Without Hope There is No Tomorrow
Think about the person who gave you hope when you needed it most. Somebody did. Maybe they said one sentence and never knew it mattered. Harvey Milk built an entire movement on it at a time when hope was in very short supply. Joe and Rya trace what happens to people when hope runs out, and what…
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Loving Your LGBTQ Child Is A Behavior, Not A Feeling
When his daughter came out, Joe suggested she dress at home and go back to being someone else the moment she stepped outside. He thought he was keeping her safe. Years later, researchers have put numbers to what those compromises do to a young person, and the numbers are hard to look at. They…
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How LGBTQ Media Portrayals Have Both Helped and Hurt Us
You have probably felt the pull in both directions. Seeing a queer character on screen for the first time can change what a young person believes is possible for their own life. Watching that same character get written off as a punchline can undo years of careful conversation with a parent who…
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I Feared Coming Out More Than Death
What does it actually feel like to be so afraid of coming out as LGBTQ+ that dying starts to look like the reasonable option? Rya lived it. These are her real journal entries from 2014, read aloud for the first time, written during the two years she spent bargaining with God over whether she…
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Answering the Objective-Sounding Case Against Trans People
It is possible to get everything wrong in a perfectly calm voice. Is it true that transgender people had the culture on their side until they pushed too far? Father and daughter, Joe and Rya answer the points one at a time, showing why claims that sound objective can be misleading. You are not...
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The Riot Before Stonewall: What Happened at Compton's Cafeteria
Most people know the name Stonewall. Almost nobody knows what happened three years earlier in a San Francisco cafeteria. In 1966 the word transgender did not exist yet. Joe and Rya follow the trail from a church basement to the local diner where queens finally stood up to the bullies. History...
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Advocating For Your LGBTQ Kid Before Trouble Starts
Most parents call the school after something has already gone wrong. By then you are negotiating from behind. The teacher who could have been your ally has already built their own explanation for your kid, and nobody handed them the real one. There is another version of this. You go first, before...
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The Person Who Sent This To You Wants You In Their Life
Somebody was probably nervous to send you this link. Nothing here asks you to change your mind. This episode is a conversation between an LGBTQ child and her father, talking about how to stay close to someone you are not going to agree with. Joe and Rya have been doing it for eleven years. If the...
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He Tried to Marry the Gay Away
Content note: This episode includes a personal account of suicidal thoughts and a suicide attempt. If you are struggling, you can reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 in the US, any time. What do you do when the life you built is wrong? Jess Betts-Nelson chased the...
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Do This When You Can't Agree
When someone you love disagrees with you about LGBTQ issues, faith, or politics, there is a better way through than fighting. It starts with knowing the difference between a person seeking understanding and a person seeking victory. Learn to tell the two apart and stop wasting your heart on...
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The Man King David Couldn't Stop Loving
Have you ever loved someone you could not talk yourself out of, no matter how much simpler life would have been if you could? King David knew that feeling. Joe and Rya look at the famous Bible story with fresh eyes, asking whether David was actually bisexual. LGBTQ+ readers may meet an ancestor...
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Answering the Hardest Questions Skeptics Ask About LGBTQ+ Issues
Maybe you have a question you stopped asking out loud, because the last time you tried you got corrected on your wording or treated like the enemy. So here is something rare. Someone willing to take your hardest objection and build it stronger than you could, then give it an honest answer instead...
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Behaviors That Help and Those That Harm Your LGBTQ Child
What if the most important thing you do for your child has nothing to do with whether you understand them yet? Loving someone well doesn't have to mean you agree with everything they do. You only have to be good at the first part. Joe and Rya show how small, everyday choices pull a child closer…
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Joe & Rya TAKE FIVE: She Followed the Law. It Almost Put Her In Jail.
Kris Ripper changed the gender marker on her license because Kansas law required it. Then a rainy night traffic stop over her headlights turned into a ten minute interrogation and the threat of jail time, all for doing exactly what the state told her to. Joe and Rya trace how a law sold as making...
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Voices of 2026 Pride
What does it feel like to walk into a place where you finally get to stop explaining yourself? For a lot of people, that place is Pride. This time the microphone belongs to the community itself, real voices recorded right there at the festival. A woman who came out the day she met her wife. A mom...
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Unexpected Gifts of Being LGBTQ+
Most stories about being LGBTQ+ start with what it costs. But ask a queer person if they'd trade it, and most won't. The road that demands so much also gives so much back. And the gifts are not small. You may be carrying something you once wished you could give away, only to discover it became…
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Pride Has Won and Pride Has Failed
Stonewall was a riot, not a parade. Fifty-seven years later, that fact still shapes every argument about what Pride should be. The people inside the LGBTQ+ community disagree more than you might think. A gay man who fought for marriage equality says the work is done. A trans woman says the…
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The One Practice That Makes Hard Things Easier and Good Things Better
Some relationships feel harder than they should be. The conversations that used to flow now feel careful. The distance keeps quietly growing. Most advice tells you to talk it out, set boundaries, communicate better, pick the right words. But what if the most important thing you could do has…
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The Transgender Millionaire You've Never Heard Of
Reed Erickson used his fortune to quietly build the foundation of transgender healthcare in America. The first gender clinic at Johns Hopkins Hospital existed because of his funding. So do many of the medical pathways trans people still rely on today. He was eccentric, generous, problematic, and...
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How to Actually Change Someone's Mind About LGBTQ+ Issues
At some time in your life, you've probably tried to convince someone that LGBTQ+ people deserve respect and equality. You presented facts, you raised your voice, and you walked away more frustrated than when you started. It's so easy to assume the worst about people who disagree. What if there…
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Joe & Rya TAKE FIVE: Watertown LGBTQ School Board Scandal
Students rehearsed Omar Thomas's "A Mother of a Revolution" for months. Then their school board banned it. Joe and Rya unpack the Watertown Wisconsin controversy that's now national news and ask the real question underneath it: can honoring LGBTQ history be considered indoctrination when the…
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The Bible's Famous Marriage Vow Is Quietly Queer
You probably know the words "Where you go, I will go." Maybe you've heard them at a wedding. What most people don't realize is that this famous wedding vow was spoken in the Bible between two women, and the book it comes from is queer in ways most readers miss. Joe and Rya walk through the story…
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Avoid These 4 Toxic Patterns Before They Destroy Your Loving Family
You love your family. But love alone does not protect a relationship from the patterns that tear families apart. Research shows that four specific toxic patterns can predict whether a relationship will survive or fall apart, and most people never see them coming. The good news is that once you…
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What We've Learned About Hard Family Conversations, 10,000 Downloads Later
What does it actually take to hold a family together across a divide most people would call too wide? After over three years of conversations with parents, children, pastors, priests, scientists, scholars, and LGBTQ+ people from across the spectrum, Joe and Rya keep coming back to the same simple...
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How Other People's Words Almost Destroyed Me
What if the voice telling you you're not good enough isn't even yours? Professional figure skater, Stef Vachon came out at 18 and thought the hard part was over. But years of bullying had already buried themselves so deep that freedom didn't feel like freedom. He walked away from his greatest...
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How Small Town Allies Can Make a Big Impact
You probably imagine the worst when you think about LGBTQ+ life in a small town. Rya lives in a Midwestern town of 1,300 people where she knows her neighbors knows their dog by name. Most people there just don't care that she's trans. They've got their own lives. But the real trade-offs are...
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We Asked a Scientist If Being Gay Is Natural
"Being gay is unnatural." If you've ever had someone throw that line at you in a conversation about LGBTQ+ people, you know how hard it is to respond in the moment. Do you have the facts to tell them why they are wrong? Dr. Pete Gasper, a veterinary scientist with over 20 years in biomedical...
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A History of Cross-Dressing Laws
In 1863, San Francisco made it a crime to wear clothing "not belonging to your sex," with a fine of up to $500. That and other laws gave police the power to arrest drag queens and anyone who didn't look "right." And while the specific statutes have mostly been struck down, the same logic lives on...
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The Bible Is Full of People Who Broke Gender Rules
If you've ever been told the Bible has no place for people like you, you're not alone. For many who don't fit neatly into male or female categories, scripture has been used as a weapon of exclusion. But what if that's not the whole story? Joe and Rya explore the biblical category of eunuch…
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The Stone Between Us: What Easter Teaches LGBTQ Families About New Life
There is a stone between you and someone you love. Maybe one of you placed it there out of fear that faith has no room for who the other is becoming. Or maybe the stone was placed by silence, weeks and months where the real conversation never happened and you both learned to live on opposite…
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The One Mistake Good Parents Make That Pushes Kids Away
You love your child. You're trying to protect them. But what if the way you are treating the relationship is the very thing driving them away. Most parents who lose their relationship with their LGBTQ child never saw it coming because everything they did felt like good parenting at the time. Joe...
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Small Towns That Surprise: Acceptance is More Common Than You Think
When you think of LGBTQ-friendly places, small towns probably aren't the first thing that comes to mind. But what if the stereotype is wrong? Across America, towns with populations under 6,000 are becoming more and more welcoming. Joe and Rya share surprising stories of small town acceptance that...
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Warning: Anti-Trans Cruelty Legislation Is More Devastating Than We Feared
What happens when a state passes a law designed not to protect anyone, but to attack people who already exist? Kansas just showed us. And if you think it stops there, you're not paying attention. If you or someone you love are love are trans, or if you believe that cruelty shouldn't be passed off...
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How to find an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist
You've been meaning to find a therapist. But every time you think about it, the questions pile up: Can I trust them? Can I afford it? How do I know if I've found the right person? It's enough to make you put it off another month. Another year. You deserve someone who won't treat your identity as…
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The Bible and Trans Identity: What Does Genesis Actually Say?
"God made them male and female." It's one of the first verses people reach for when they want to argue that being transgender goes against God's design. Rya spent two decades not knowing how to reconcile her gender struggles with what the Bible says... until she learned she didn't have to choose...
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Stop Waiting to Reconnect — You Make the First Move
Maybe you're having a hard time accepting a loved one who came out. Maybe you're the one who came out. Either way, the relationship feels stuck and you're both waiting for the other person to make it better. It's too easy for us to fall into a pattern of silence, thinking we will keep the...
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What Your LGBTQ+ Loved One Actually Needs
So much of what we've been told about "the gay agenda" is overblown. Most LGBTQ+ people aren't asking for you to change who you are. But here's the hard truth that loving families need to hear: good intentions don't cancel harm caused You can love your child deeply and still be hurting them. Joe...
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Protect the Children? How Fear is Used to Target Trans People
“We're just trying to protect the children.” It sounds so reasonable. But throughout history, this same phrase has been used to justify targeting marginalized people. When lawmakers claim to protect kids while ignoring actual trans children, protection starts to sound a lot like rejection. Trans...
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A Dad's Honest Advice for Struggling Parents
When your child comes out, the fear you feel isn't really fear. It's just uncertainty. Joe knows because he lived it when Rya came out. His struggle for acceptance wasn't instant. He knew their relationship would go through challenges. But what he didn't expect is how they would grow closer…
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The Group of Misfits who Taught a School to be Kind
In 2001, a book told the story of outcasts who were mocked for their height, their weight, and how they looked. They ran for student council, called themselves the No Name Party, and lost. But they convinced their principal to start something no school had done before. It sparked a movement now…
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Why Are So Many Gay and Lesbian Allies Still Transphobic?
Have you ever met someone who fully supports their gay friends but gets uncomfortable when trans issues come up? The same people who celebrate Pride and fight for marriage equality often have a completely different reaction to transgender rights. Joe and Rya break down the psychology behind this...
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What We Know Will Last and What We Hope Will Change in 2026
Some things about LGBTQ+ life will never change, and that's actually good news. When everything feels uncertain, we need to know what's worth fighting for. How can we separate the noise from what actually matters? The good news is that some things hold steady no matter what happens next. And we...
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Is It Normal to Feel This Different?
When people carry secret shame about the ways they are different from everyone around them, it affects their entire sense of self. This shame gets passed down through culture that teaches rigid ideas about what's acceptable. There's nothing wrong with being exactly who you are. Joe and Rya talk...
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The Texas Law That Protects Nobody: Here's What You Need to Know
What happens when lawmakers create a bathroom law that forces men into women's restrooms and women into men's restrooms? Texas Senate Bill 8 claims to protect women's privacy, but the reality is far more complicated. This law forces schools, libraries, airports, and government buildings to become...
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Joe & Rya TAKE FIVE: New Texas Bathroom Law
A new segment where Joe & Rya discuss a current topic. This week is the new Texas Senate Law 8. Listen to the FULL EPISODE on Monday Send us Fan Mail Support the show
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Being Different Doesn't Mean Being Wrong
Have you ever noticed how the word "normal" gets turned into a weapon? People use it to make LGBTQ+ folks feel like something's wrong with them just for being different. They act like statistics prove morality, as if being in the minority makes you broken. But here's the thing. Why should any of…
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Finding Faith After Religious Abuse
You've been hurt by the church. Maybe you walked away years ago, or maybe you're still trying to make it work in a place that tells you who you are is wrong. The wounds run deep. Spiritual abuse often comes wrapped in Scripture. Two-thirds of Christians report experiencing spiritual abuse. That...
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We Are Still Thankful In Dark Times — Here's Why
With rights under threat and uncertainty everywhere, choosing thankfulness can feel like denial. But what if gratitude isn't about pretending everything is fine? Learning to find thankfulness is more than just emotional comfort, it's survival strategy. Joe and Rya look at why gratitude matters…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Father/daughter duo, Joe and Rya, discuss LGBTQ family issues and how to preserve positive relationships
HOSTED BY
Trandescendant Podcast
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Trandescendant have?
Trandescendant currently has 212 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Trandescendant about?
Father/daughter duo, Joe and Rya, discuss LGBTQ family issues and how to preserve positive relationships
How often does Trandescendant release new episodes?
Trandescendant publishes regularly with 212 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Trandescendant?
You can listen to Trandescendant on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Trandescendant?
Trandescendant is created and hosted by Trandescendant Podcast.
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