Unfertile & Unfiltered

In this episode, we share a detailed update on where we are in our fertility treatment process as we officially begin the IVM (In Vitro Maturation) study. After months of testing, appointments, procedures, and waiting, we finally have a treatment calendar, medications, and a timeline leading up to egg retrieval.We walk through the full protocol, including birth control, Clomid, monitoring appointments, trigger shots, and what happens during the IVM process. We also discuss the possibility of being removed from the study if follicle development doesn't meet protocol requirements, how embryo creation differs with IVM, and what the next steps could look like if the study doesn't result in viable embryos.Throughout the episode, we talk openly about the realities of male factor infertility, using donor sperm, balancing optimism with realistic expectations, and the many decisions that come with fertility treatment. We also discuss the financial considerations of IVF and IUI, concerns about embryo creation, and what we're hoping for as we move into the next stage of treatment.Whether you're researching IVM, preparing for IVF, navigating male factor infertility, or simply following our journey, this episode provides a real-time look at the planning, uncertainty, and decision-making that happen before egg retrieval.Resources & LinksFollow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sidneyhdavis/Listen to previous episodes of Unfertile & Unfiltered for more conversations about male factor infertility, donor conception, microTESE procedures, fertility treatment, IVF, IUI, and family building.

After a week off for boys camp, girls camp, and a near trailer disaster on the side of the freeway, we are back with an update on where they are in their fertility journey.In this episode, they break down their upcoming IVM timeline, including birth control, stimulation medications, egg retrieval, and what the next several weeks are expected to look like. They also share an update on their donor sperm arriving at the clinic and discuss a recent conversation with Lauren, a donor-conceived advocate working to create new pathways for donor matching and education.The conversation also touches on the realities of navigating fertility treatment, learning to live with uncertainty, and the challenge of balancing healthy lifestyle changes without becoming consumed by trying to control every variable. Sidney shares her experience getting her first pap smear, reflects on some of the unexpected twists in their journey to parenthood, and talks about why she's focusing less on perfection and more on doing her best while letting go of the outcome.Connect with Lauren:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespermqueen/Website: batch.globalIf you're interested in sharing your own infertility story or joining the conversation, reach out to Sidney on Instagram. Thanks for following along and being part of the journey.

In this episode, we give an update on where we’re at in our infertility journey, including Matt’s post-microTESE recovery, testing for low testosterone, and additional genetic testing for male factor infertility.We also talk through our first IVM study appointment, the frustration of fertility timelines, preparing for egg retrieval, and some of the lifestyle changes we’re making while trying to improve overall health and egg quality before treatment.We also get into the emotional side of using a sperm donor, what that process has looked like over time, and how infertility continues to impact different parts of life and relationships as things move forward.

In this episode, we talk through Mother’s Day, the unexpected emotions that came with it, and what happened after reading back through old journal entries from the beginning of our infertility journey.We go back to the first few months of trying to conceive — the excitement, assumptions, optimism, and the gradual shift into confusion, testing, diagnosis, and grief after finding out we were dealing with severe male factor infertility and non-obstructive azoospermia.The episode covers:The emotional shift from trying to prevent pregnancy to trying desperately to conceiveReading journal entries from the beginning of the processThe emotional impact of failed cycles, testing, and the microTESE surgeryMother’s Day while navigating infertilityThe pressure of hope, faith, and expectations during infertilityProcessing grief differently as a husband and wifeLooking back at how quickly life changed over a few months

In this episode, we’re breaking down the book Three Makes Baby: How to Parent Your Donor-Conceived Child by Jana M. Rupnow and sharing our honest thoughts after reading it.If you’re navigating male factor infertility, azoospermia, or considering building a family through donor conception, this book is one of the most comprehensive resources we’ve come across. It focuses less on the medical side and more on the emotional, psychological, and identity aspects of raising a donor-conceived child.In this episode, we walk through what the book actually covers, including:The emotional weight of infertility and how to process it as a parentWhether or not to tell your child they are donor-conceived—and why openness is now widely recommendedCommon fears like feeling like a “real” parent, bonding concerns, and fear of rejectionSocial stigma, family dynamics, and how to handle difficult conversationsHow to choose a sperm donor (anonymous vs. open ID, identity considerations, future contact)When and how to talk to your child about their story—from early childhood through teenage yearsHow to navigate identity, half-siblings, and the possibility of meeting a donorAnd one of the biggest takeaways: how to hold both grief and gratitude at the same timeWe also share our personal reactions to the exercises in the book—especially the ones that helped us uncover emotions we didn’t even realize we were feeling.If you’re at the beginning of your donor conception journey or trying to understand what it really looks like to raise a donor-conceived family, this episode gives you a straightforward, unfiltered overview of what this book teaches and why it might be worth reading.For reference, this is a breakdown of what the chapters cover: Introduction: An Emotional DecisionChapter 1: Are You Ready to Tell?Explore Your ReasonsChapter 2: Why Tell?Get ComfortableExperts Say DiscloseTelling Is HealthySecrets Aren’t the Best ProtectionChapter 3: How to adddress the most common concerns about donor conception? Concern #1 Emotional Distress:What If My Child Is Upset?Complicated GriefDistinguish Your Feelings from Your Child’sConcern #2: Parental Legitimacy Parent-Child AttachmentBroken BondsConcern #3 Social Differences Social StrainSocial StrategyPrivacy vs. SecrecyConfronting ShameEmbracing DifferencesConcern #4 Family/Cultural Differences Acclimating to New FamilyChapter 4: Choosing a DonorConnecting to Your DonorDonor Profile Selection Process Anonymity Not GuaranteedThe internet is a resourceSocial media influence Donor Regulation Self-Report Psychological Testing Known DonationPreparing for known donation Embryo Adoption vs. Embryo DonationFuture Contact PotentialGenetic WonderEpigenetic InfluencesChapter 5: when and how to talk about itWhen Is the Right Time to Tell?Talking over the Years—Make It Your StoryShifting from your story to your child's Baby years Preschool years Middle-childhood years Teenage years - Finding Identity and Meaning How to talk about half siblings how to talk about griefFive Ways to Handle Social Situations: The Five DsChapter 6 - Finding treasure Book link: Three Makes Baby

In this episode, we break down the Gameto study and what it shows about IVM outcomes, timelines, and expectations—especially in the context of male factor infertility. We walk through the IVM process from start to finish, including testing, retrieval, fertilization, and transfer, along with where people tend to run into challenges and delays.We also talk through common concerns around using donor sperm, including how donor selection works through platforms like Seed Scout, what kind of information is available, and how people approach those decisions. Disclaimer: After recording this, I realized the study we are doing is different than the Grace IVF study that I mentioned in the podcast. Either way, below are both links to more information on the studies: Grace IVF Utah Gameto Study (this is the one we're doing)

In this episode, we break down the growing concern around plastics, BPA exposure, and how microplastics may be impacting fertility—especially sperm count and hormone balance. We recap a recent plastic detox study and talk through what actually changed for the couples involved, including measurable improvements in sperm health and multiple pregnancies following lifestyle changes.We also share where we’re at in our own infertility journey—deciding between IVF vs IUI, the cost with having to do donor sperm due to Matt's male factor infertility and emotional tradeoffs, and what it looks like to be stuck in the waiting phase.

In this episode of Unfertile and Unfiltered, we dive into sperm donor regulations in the United States and what actually exists versus what people assume exists.After watching documentaries like Our Father and Delivery Man, we break down real concerns around donor conception, including cases of fertility doctors using their own sperm without consent, the lack of legal consequences, and how little oversight there is in the industry.We cover:What sperm donor regulations exist in the U.S. (and what doesn’t)FDA involvement and why it’s limited to disease screeningThe “25 family” guideline and why it’s not a lawHow self-reporting impacts donor limits and trackingThe issue of serial donors and lack of a national registryReal-world examples of donor misuse and legal gapsDifferences between U.S. regulations and other countriesEthical concerns around sperm banks, anonymity, and costWe also share our personal perspective as a couple navigating male factor infertility and considering donor conception, including the realities, concerns, and trade-offs that come with it.This episode is a straightforward look at the current state of sperm donor laws, the gaps in regulation, and what people should understand before going down the donor route.

In this episode, we focus on the language used in the infertility and donor conception space—specifically the difference between terms like “sperm donor,” “biological father,” and “dad.”After receiving a diagnosis of non-obstructive azoospermia, we’ve had to navigate conversations that go beyond medical decisions and into how we actually talk about family, identity, and roles.This episode is a straightforward discussion on:What different terms actually meanWhy wording matters in the infertility spaceHow terms like biological dad vs father vs donor are usedThe implications of each term for parents and future childrenWhere language can be misleading or overly simplifiedWe also touch on how terminology varies depending on:Medical contextLegal definitionsPersonal preferenceCultural and social perspectivesIf you’re navigating male infertility, azoospermia, or donor conception, this episode gives a clear breakdown of the terminology you’re likely to encounter.Resources: 1. Donor-Conceived People’s Experiences of Identity and Relatednesshttps://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/13691058.2017.13491802. Relationality in Donor Conception: How Parents and Children Talk About Donorshttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8289314/3. Donor vs Dad: Untangling Language, Identity, and the Meaning of Parenthoodhttps://www.seattlespermbank.com/donor-vs-dad-untangling-language-identity-and-the-meaning-of-parenthood/4. Assisted Reproduction Kids Grow Up Just Fine—But It May Be Better to Tell Them Earlyhttps://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/assisted-reproduction-kids-grow-up-just-fine-but-it-may-be-better-to-tell-them-early-about5. We Are Donor Conceived – 2020 Survey Resultshttps://www.wearedonorconceived.com/2020-survey-top/2020-we-are-donor-conceived-survey/

In this episode of Unfertile & Unfiltered, we shift away from medical updates and dive into the emotional side of male factor infertility and the infertility journey.After navigating a diagnosis of non-obstructive azoospermia and preparing for IVF with a sperm donor, we’ve learned that infertility isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional. From long waiting timelines to the uncertainty of treatment, this process challenges your sense of control, identity, and expectations for the future.We talk about:How infertility forces you to confront what you can’t controlThe difference between a scarcity vs. abundance mindsetWhat emotional resilience actually looks like during IVFHow men and women cope differently with infertilityLetting go of timelines, expectations, and the pressure to “fix” everythingWhy surrender (not control) might be the key to surviving infertilityWe also share personal insights on how we’re learning to stay present, build a life we enjoy now, and find meaning even in the waiting.If you’re navigating male infertility, azoospermia, IVF, or donor conception, this episode is for you.You are not alone—and there is a way to move through this without losing yourself.Follow along on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/sidneyhdavis/

In this episode of Unfertile & Unfiltered, we’re breaking down everything we learned from our first donor therapist appointment—and what completely shifted our perspective on building a family through donor conception.We went in expecting surface-level advice… but walked away with clarity on some of the biggest decisions we’ll make as parents.We talk about:Why openness matters more than you thinkThe biggest mistake families make (and why it can backfire later)How to talk to your kids about being donor-conceivedLetting your child lead their own storyRemoving shame and normalizing non-traditional paths to parenthoodThe mindset shift that helped us accept this journeyWe also get real about navigating other people’s opinions, handling family dynamics, and why secrecy can do more harm than good.If you’re going through infertility, considering a donor, or just trying to understand this path better, this episode is for you.And as always… we keep it honest, a little chaotic, and completely unfiltered.Here are the links to different books: Our Hearts Match: A Heartwarming Children's Book Celebrating Donor Conception, Egg Donation, Embryo Donation, and Diverse FamiliesWhat Makes a BabyFamilies Come in Many FormsThe Pea That Was Me

In this episode of Unfertile & Unfiltered, we give an honest update on where we are in our infertility journey.After qualifying for a Gentle IVF study, we thought the process would move quickly—but like many fertility treatments, the timeline turned out to be much longer than expected. We talk about the emotional side of waiting, the reality of IVF timelines, and the frustration that comes when plans don’t go the way you hoped.We also share an update on our sperm donor search, including how we’re navigating the decision process and what factors we’re considering.Then we read and discuss a powerful letter written by a father of donor-conceived children that speaks directly to men facing infertility. The letter addresses fears many men experience but rarely talk about—questions about masculinity, identity, fatherhood, and what it means to raise a child that isn’t genetically yours.This conversation opened up an honest discussion about the emotions that come with male factor infertility and why so many men struggle silently.If you or someone you know is navigating infertility, we hope this episode helps you feel less alone.Study mentioned in the episode:https://www.graceivfstudy.com/https://accelrecruitment.com/ivf-study/?utm_medium=paid&utm_source=ig&utm_id=120233420876750039&utm_content=120233421840020039&utm_term=120233420876180039&utm_campaign=120233420876750039Male infertility support group mentionedhttps://act.resolve.org/page/52362/survey/1?ea.tracking.id=websiteLetter referenced in the episode: Dear DI Dad-to-beIf this episode resonates with you, please follow the podcast and share it with someone who might need it. Conversations like this help others realize they’re not the only ones going through it.

When you decide to be open about infertility, you open yourself up to a lot of love… and a lot of opinions.In this episode, we talk through what it’s been like to share our male factor infertility journey publicly with family, friends, coworkers, and the internet. Some responses have meant everything to us. Others… not so much.We unpack common phrases like:“It’ll all work out.”“Everything happens in God’s timing.”“Just expect miracles.”“I know exactly how you feel.”And we talk honestly about why some of those comments can feel minimizing — even when they’re well-intentioned.We also share what has helped. What actually feels supportive. And how to show up for someone walking through infertility (without trying to fix it).If you’ve ever wondered what to say — or what not to say — to someone dealing with infertility, this conversation is for you.And if you’re in it yourself, we hope you feel a little less alone.

What actually happens when male infertility leads you to consider a sperm donor?In this episode, we talk about sperm donor therapy, male factor infertility, and the emotional fallout that doesn’t get discussed enough.After a male infertility diagnosis, we were faced with decisions around donor conception and donor counseling. Matt shares what his first sperm donor therapy session was like — including the fears, identity struggles, and anger that surfaced.We talk about:Male infertility and masculinityThe difference between “biological father” and “sperm donor”Fear of rejection as a non-biological dadDonor counseling and what therapists actually askInfertility and marriage strainThe toxic thoughts that can come up after an infertility diagnosisProcessing azoospermia and male factor infertilityWe're learning as we go through the thick of it that male infertility affects identity, faith, marriage, and the way you see your future.If you’re navigating sperm donor decisions, donor conception, IVF after male infertility, or trying to support a spouse through male factor infertility — this episode is honest, raw, and unfiltered.You’re not crazy and you're definitely not alone for having complicated feelings.

In this episode of Unfertile & Unfiltered, we unpack the big question that’s been living in the back of our minds (well, my mind - Sidney):Did we skip a step?After Matt was diagnosed with non-obstructive azoospermia and Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome, our doctor moved straight to microTESE surgery. No Clomid. No HCG. No hormone optimization. Just surgery.Now that we’ve had time to breathe (and Google), we started questioning is that was the right move.We break down:What Matt’s hormone levels actually showed (Testosterone 544, FSH 10.3, LH 10.2)Why Clomid is usually prescribed (and why it wasn’t in our case)The difference between hypospermatogenesis, maturation arrest, and focal Sertoli Cell OnlyWhether our doctor likely expected to find spermWhat “focal SCO” really meansAnd whether we regret going straight to microTESEWe also talk about what Matt's doing now:🥩 A six-month “full-send” health reset🥚 250–300g of protein per day🚫 Eliminating plastics and processed foods💊 Sperm supplements (Swim Club, Bird & Be, etc.)📉 Losing body fat to optimize overall healthIs there evidence this will reverse Sertoli Cell Only? No.Is there a chance? Maybe. If you push ChatGPT enough then it says there is. And right now, that’s enough for us.We also discuss why we’re holding off on genetic testing (karyotype + Y chromosome microdeletion), how that could change everything, and why we’re still moving forward with a sperm donor while holding onto a small window of hope.This episode is for:Couples navigating male factor infertilityMen with azoospermia wondering if they skipped a stepAnyone trying to understand Sertoli Cell Only SyndromeOr anyone living in the tension between science and hopeStill Unfertile. Still Unfiltered.

Choosing a sperm donor isn’t just a clinical decision—it’s an identity-shaping one.In this episode, we share our real, unfiltered conversation about navigating sperm donation: known donor vs. sperm bank, genetics, counseling, and the quiet emotional weight that comes with deciding half of your child’s DNA.We talk about what gets passed down, what doesn’t, the reality of donor siblings, and why openness and honesty matter so much for donor-conceived kids. We also reflect on how this process forced us to confront bigger questions: Who are we? Who are we becoming? And how do we honor that in the family we’re building?If you’re walking this road—or love someone who is—this episode is for you.

This episode is exactly what infertility looks like in real life — messy, emotional, awkward, and unresolved.We pick up where the last episode left off: post-surgery, post-consultations, and squarely in the middle of waiting. After meetings with two fertility clinics, an unexpected fight, therapy sessions, and a first round of female fertility testing, we’re sitting with a lot of information… and no clear sense of relief.In this episode, we talk about:How grief shows up differently for men and women — and how that creates tensionThe emotional whiplash of being told you’re “very fertile” and then immediately needing surgeryLearning (the hard way) that female infertility is way more complicated than we realizedA surprise hysteroscopy, more delays, and the mental toll of another month of waitingThe growing weight of decisions around IVF, IUI, sperm donors, and financesDepression, therapy, loneliness, and not always being on the same timeline emotionallyThere’s no tidy takeaway here. No silver lining. Just the reality of navigating infertility while still showing up for work, relationships, and each other — even when we’re not on the same page.This is the real, the raw, and the ugly.

In this episode, we walk through the day of Matt’s microTESE—start to finish—and everything that followed.We talk honestly about the surgery itself, what the doctors told us going in, how expectations were set, and what it felt like when nothing was found. We share the diagnosis of Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome, the strange in-between space of “maybe” and “almost,” and the moment hope quietly closed the door.We also cover the parts people don’t always talk about: being high during surgery, awkward (and funny) moments, post-op pain, constipation from meds, an unexpected ER visit, and how intense recovery really was. This episode is raw, unfiltered, and practical—what the procedure was like, what we’d do differently, and what we wish we’d known before walking in.If you or your partner are facing a microTESE, male factor infertility, or the emotional toll of invasive procedures, this episode is our real experience—no sugarcoating, no scare tactics, just the truth.

In Episode 2 of Unfertile & Unfiltered, Sidney and Matt walk through the period between their first at-home sperm tests and receiving a formal male infertility diagnosis.After multiple tests show zero sperm, they begin the process of sperm analysis, bloodwork, and clinic visits—learning in real time what terms like azoospermia, obstructive vs. non-obstructive azoospermia, FSH and LH levels, and microTESE actually mean. They share what it was like to receive results by phone instead of email, why that moment mattered, and how quickly uncertainty turns into life-changing information.This episode covers:At-home sperm tests vs. clinical sperm analysisWhat azoospermia is and how it’s diagnosedThe emotional impact of a male factor infertility diagnosisNavigating denial, grief, and differing coping stylesConversations with family and the pressure to “stay positive”Early discussions around IVF and surgical options

In the first episode of Unfertile & Unfiltered, we share the beginning of our infertility journey—the part no one really prepares you for.We talk about the moment we decided we wanted kids, the quiet excitement and anxiety that came with “starting to try,” and the assumption that it would all just… happen. Like so many couples, we entered this season hopeful, nervous, and completely unaware of what was coming next.This episode walks through the early days of trying to conceive, the rising unease when things didn’t feel right, and the moment I finally decided to take an at-home fertility test. What I expected was reassurance. What I got was a result that changed everything—and ultimately led us to a diagnosis of male factor infertility.We open up about the shock, the confusion, and the emotional whiplash of realizing infertility wasn’t something happening to us together, but something affecting my husband in a deeply personal way. We also talk honestly about the lack of conversations around male infertility, why it often goes undetected, and how isolating it can feel when the narrative around infertility rarely includes men.This episode is for anyone who hasJust started trying to conceiveExperienced anxiety around fertility testingReceived unexpected test resultsIf you’re at the beginning of your infertility journey—or standing in the shock of realizing it won’t look the way you thought—this episode is for you. You’re not alone, and this is just the start of the conversation.🎙️ New episodes weekly. Subscribe, share, and join us as we navigate male factor infertility with honesty, humor, and zero filters.