Unlocking Leadership Through Authentic Communication

How many times have you raised your voice and been perceived as confident? Probably never. Confident people normally don’t blow a gasket when they’re trying to be heard. In this episode I explore the real reason we get aggressive during conversations and share an alternative way of getting your message across that works every time.

Do you want to hold more authority and have a greater sense of presence during meetings? Say less. I know it’s counter-intuitive but it really makes a big difference. Here we talk about the presence of people who dominate the room with constant contributions versus the presence of people who dominate with a succinct and well thought out opinion.

The more you speak the less credible you may become. If you find yourself working hard to make your point, you’ve likely lost your audience. In this episode, we explore where over-explaining comes from, how you can recognize it and what you can do to establish presence when fear of scrutiny attempts to take the driver’s seat.

Trust me when I tell you that your authentic communication is always going to feel better than who you pretend to be to feel safe. Not only is it going to feel better, but people will be more likely to gravitate towards you than want nothing to do with you. Communication likely feels hard because you aren’t being yourself. You’re essentially out of alignment with who you are and how you express who you are. We explore this in the professional setting. And if no one has told you yet, you’re enough just as you are.

Simply put, control feels hard. Clarity feels remarkably easy. In this episode, I show you how to spot when someone might be acting out of control rather than clarity. We discuss the cost of leveraging control versus clarity. And we discuss the two things you can do when communicating with others to ensure you’re not controlling but are clear.

Calling all quiet leaders! Calling all quiet leaders! You may have more executive presence than you thought. As it turns out, confidence is rooted in steadiness, not volume. So if anyone ever taught you that you’re too quiet to lead, maybe that person has it all wrong. In this episode, we debunk some common beliefs and I show you a little trick I learned from Daniel Pink on how to know who the real influencers in the room are.

I LOVE a good outline…especially if I’m going to be in a high stakes situation. When I wasn’t as established in my communication journey, I lived by them. Like…literally read off the script. That approach lead to distrust because people thought I was just checking a box and getting through important conversations. I never really felt comfortable with the script so I looked at the paper more than I looked at the person I was talking with. And what’s worse, I likely forgot the whole reason I put the script together in the first place…to create connection. In this episode, we explore how scripts can benefit you when you use them right.

We were all taught how to communicate by the experiences we went through the moment we were born. In this episode, I explore how these innate learnings show up in present day leadership and why most of us need to work to make some changes in how you lead. If you freeze when you’re challenged, replay conversations in your head or avoid feedback discussions, this episode is for you. Listening won’t get you on the path to communicating differently, but understanding why you communicate the way you do will give current behavior patterns less power.

Your team is looking for leadership. When you’re so nice you confuse your audience, your team doesn’t take you seriously and you don’t get results…you need to make some changes. In this episode, I give you a formula that I use when giving feedback that allows you to be direct, create trust, strengthen relationships and meet your goals.

If you shrink when you should be respectfully challenging someone or bite your tongue when something makes you upset, you aren’t necessarily being professional. You very well could be taking valid emotions and shoving them way down so you can keep the peace…and your job. Here, we explore some sentiments I grew up with that you likely did too and how you can express how you feel without compromising your character and credibility.

Have you ever noticed how “us” versus “them” investigations feel? It’s taken me many years to realize this but I don’t think it has to be that way. In fact, I would go so far to say that we might be setting employees up to fail just because they fear the consequence of being honest more than the chance their leader may support them, develop them and may make sweeping changes as a result of their honesty. What might happen if we tried a different approach to how we introduce an investigation? I suspect we gain a clear understanding of the what and the why quicker, develop trust between the leader and employee and maybe uncover bigger things that need to be addressed with the team down the road. In this episode, I give you an off the cuff script to how you might kick off your investigations differently for partnered success.

Communication has a cost. You pay for it if you speak up and you pay for it if you don’t. But the cost is always different. And sometimes, it’s hard to tell which will cost you more. Here we explore the cost of silence versus the cost of honesty, discuss how avoidance masquerades as silence and evaluate who we’re really protecting by not speaking up. Spoiler alert…we aren’t protecting someone else. In this episode, I invite you to take stock of your communication or lack thereof this year and encourage you to make changes for 2026. Because either way, there is a payoff for speaking up and staying quiet. One just serves you more than the other. Have a happy and blessed New Year.

I used to get so worked up when someone would message or call me about being unhappy with something I was a part of. Now, I handle things differently. In fact, when I even think someone might be unhappy, I seek them out. In this episode, I reverse engineer complaining like a pro and help you take and respond to complaints like a pro. The things I share help to cut down your anxiety, create trust with those you work with and move you in the right direction to solve the problem fast.

I grappled with this episode title because quite honestly, I hate complainers. But really, what I’m teaching is how to complain but be respectful, professional and move toward change. I help you with mindset and to construct the best “complaint” session so that you create a win not only with the situation but with the people you are collaborating with. And my favorite part is that you’ll do it while you strengthen your credibility AND generate better relationships.

If you haven’t watched Zootopia, you probably won’t understand this reference. The point of this podcast is to stop feeling like a failure when you can’t solve a problem because the information you get is poor. Stop letting these problems consume your day and your thoughts. The harsh reality is that the story you tell yourself or that you let others tell you, is getting in your way…and it’s a straight up lie. I’m going to expose this unrealistic standard for what it is and help you shift your mindset to tackle the problem in a realistic way that creates action and will at some point resolve the issue.

Have you ever worked with someone…or even better for someone who never seems to become ruffled in the face of crisis? Ever wonder how they become this way? I can’t exactly tell you the “how” but I do share a theory, a book and some examples of the rewards of operating as an “unbothered leader”. And guess what? It’s easier than you might think if you adopt a specific mindset.

Have you ever considered the biggest barrier to a performance conversation might be you? If you show up nervous and can’t get past that, guess what? Communication will be compromised. If you show up with unrealistic expectations or show up like the “boss”...there will be disastrous results. Here, I show you how to tell if you’re shooting yourself in the foot before you even sit down. Then, I help you solve for or reframe the thought or expectation that’s getting in your way.

We have all been in situations where people want an answer from us NOW or they interact with us in a way causes us to become nervous, uncertain about our expertise or we may become angry or upset. In this episode, I tell you the key components I use to make decisions that are thoughtful, thorough and mindful. I call these “high value decisions” because my simple thought process about the value I bring to the table when someone asks for my opinion produces trust, reinforces my confidence and helps elevate the person/people I’m working with.

Do you want to help address poor behavior AND help your team members grow? This approach is not for the weak. It’s uncomfortable. It’s genuine. And it works. In this episode, I give you the basic steps to help shape behavior on your team so your team handles how they want to be treated without needing your assistance.

If you go into a conversation with someone thinking it’s going to be confrontational, you’ve already lost the mindset game. Even though you’re a leader, you’re still a partner with your team. The moment you have a conversation that is anything less than acting like a partner, nothing will get better. In fact, you’ll probably get further from your goal, or at the very least it will take you longer to achieve it and it probably won’t turn out as great as it could have been. In this episode, I help you have successful conversations regardless of how your teammate shows up.

With good intentions, many leaders are so concerned about getting buy-in from the employee they are giving feedback to, that the conversation ends without discussing the real work to be done. Yes…we want the employee to understand there is a performance concern. BUT…that’s not the point of the meeting. The point of the meeting is to work together to solve the concern. In this episode, I show you how your mindset is the catalyst to getting “buy-in” and set you up to conduct a meeting with genuine interest to understand and collaborate with your team members to breed success.

Sometimes people put us in crappy positions. They don’t mean to but more likely than not, they’re afraid of making a decision and then saddle you with it. Is it fair? No. Does it happen? More than we realize. Does it have to cause emotional turmoil? No. Not if you follow these simple six steps. You can preserve a relationship, solve a problem and uphold all your standards at the same time.

Have you ever wondered how some people who are still pleasant to be around are respected all the time? They create standards throughout each area of their life. I’m going to give you some examples of standards/boundaries/expectations in some areas of my life and even share with you the foundation of standards I require in all my relationships. It comes in handy because once you figure out what your standards are, communicate them and hold people accountable, the “right” people seem to stay in your life and the wrong people exit stage left. 🙂

What do you do when two employees have a falling out and you don’t want to lose the talent? Hopefully you’re comfortable with conflict because in this episode, I’m going to show you how I recommend leaders steer employees who are allergic to conflict through situations where they actually have to talk with each other and resolve their differences.

In this episode, I give you the scariest piece of advice that I give to every leader I coach. This piece of advice allows you to help those on your team and those you partner with to be the most successful. When you do this well you also develop great relationships with those you practice it with. And finally, there is a sense of total freedom to you as a leader. Here, I give you an example of how to do this scary thing well. If your intentions are good, you can’t go wrong and even if it doesn’t go how you’d like it to, congratulations, there’s always tomorrow to try it again. I have faith in you. You’ve got this.

If you’re communicating, you’re giving and receiving feedback. You can’t avoid it. It doesn’t matter if you’re emailing, talking on the phone, or standing in front of someone, messages are being sent and received constantly. But how do you avoid giving crappy feedback and what’s the formula for good feedback? Listen in as I share tips on how to give feedback so we’re not out there crushing souls. Instead, we’re out there partnering with people and inspiring them to accomplish things they may have never thought were possible.

I recently had a conversation with a leader who was spiraling. They were worried about what the future held for them based on a situation that didn’t have a clear answer. I’m going to share with you what I told this leader and what I often say just in different words, to people I care about so they know I’m on their side. You don’t want to miss this. These big words carry big responsibilities and rewards.

I share with you one of the meanest (unintentionally of course) things a leader can do to their team members. It’s all about feedback or lack there of. In this episode I give you examples of what happens when we don’t give the feedback that we should. Then, I help you shift your mindset to give feedback in a way that breeds trust and sets the employee up for success.

Leadership is only as hard as you make it. In this episode, I’m going to help you shift your mindset so you can identify how some of your most “challenging” employees operate, what they’re really communicating when they behave how they do and how you can work with them to leverage their talent, educate them, and organically create the type of team that accomplishes goals and works seamlessly.

Stop trying to force yourself into positions, teams and organizations who are too small for you. What do I mean by that? Well I can right away when I’m working with a team whether or not they are operating under antiquated principals that don’t serve them, on pace with the world or looking forward to what’s next. I can also tell whether I’m going to have to drag a team along, be able to collaborate with like minds or be floored by the innovation that far exceeds my own. The question is, what table do I want to sit at? You have a choice. I’m going to help you set yourself up so you can quickly tell if the choices in front of you are a great fit or if you need to keep looking…and it’s remarkably simple.

This episode is the reason I started this podcast. It’s all about communication being genuine. And the genuine communication, coupled with the interest in the person being successful helps with collaboration. And guess what? Collaboration under these circumstances truly solves problems AND develops strong relationships between you and your team members. Check this episode out and make having conversations like I demonstrate here your new standard practice.

How do high performing teams spend less time on emotions and more time on performing? I believe it has to do with the leader clearly communicating what the team can expect from their leader and what the leader in turn expects from their team. The leader’s job is to model what they commit to and hold the team accountable for reciprocating. This shifts the team from being emotional to taking action and feeling supported. In this episode, I show you how to get there.

It’s not rocket science. You need to do the thing to get the results. Nothing else will get you the results. In this episode, I give you three practical recommendations you can start using today to gain credibility and get results. And the best part? They’re not even hard.

Don’t let employees waste your time by asking you to have their conversations for them. In this episode, I’m empowering you as a leader to push back and have your employees resolve their own issues instead of putting you in the middle of them. After all, they have the grown-up title, the grown-up pay and the grown-up responsibilities. Now they get to use their grown-up words to maintain their own professional relationships on the job.

You can still say “no” to an employee and walk away with your relationship intact. But in order for this to happen, you, as a leader, must come to the table prepared to talk…not defend…but truly talk and problem solve. I’m going to show you how to overcome two of the biggest objections leaders give when it comes to approving requests. Make these simple adjustments and whether you can help your employee or not, they’ll see you as an advocate and not just the decision maker.

One of the worst situations a leader can be in is having to choose between losing an employee if they aren’t promoted or promoting an underprepared employee into a role they’ll likely fail in. Here, I go over why I NEVER recommend promoting people before they’re ready. I give you the steps and solid verbiage for how you can convey to the employee that they won’t be offered the job and I also tell you what you can do to keep them before they’re ready to be promoted. Now that’s a win win!

When I ask leaders if they have considered conducting “stay interviews” to help them understand how they can retain their top performers, many times I hear that they already do this. But what the leader describes to me is far from a stay interview. Let me help you with three keys to a successful stay interview. I’ll give you the best questions to ask during your first interview…there are only 3…and share some common pitfalls that leads can find themselves in and how to avoid them. Hope this helps!

I often hear from leaders that they’re worried about getting sued when it comes to addressing concerns with employees. Oftentimes, these worries aren’t things that will really come true. However, here, I talk about situations leaders unknowingly get themselves into that could put them at more risk than anything they came to me about in the first place. In this episode, I help you so you aren’t writing someone’s legal claim for them.

What is the threshold for making a performance conversation more formal? How many times do I need to address a performance issue before moving the discussion to the next disciplinary level? Well I hate to say this but the answer is…it depends. In this episode, I talk you through the rationale I use when making recommendations to leaders in terms of performance documentation and when to address at the next level.

In this episode, I’m going to help shift your thinking from a progressive performance document system to a system that meets the development needs of the employee. We’ll review the documentation levels and what we might use each level for. I’ll give you a high-level intro to a system that focuses on the process and not the person. And we’ll wrap up with how to double check your document level to make sure it’s appropriate. Let’s get great at the basics!

When you write a performance document, your first goal should be to write it so it’s a tool for the employee to leverage to improve. Anything outside of that should be for legal or your own record keeping purposes…but really, even legal or record keeping purposes serve for almost none of the document. This episode is all about what you should leave off the document and why to ensure your focus stays on the goal…helping the employee do their best at work.

Let’s find out if your document drafting skills are as strong as you think they are. Here, I share the mindset I recommend leaders use when drafting the document and the steps that have served me well in creating something meaningful to give to an employee. I give you a few tips to help keep you out of hot water legally and otherwise. And of course I’m going to give you some recommendations on how to learn from the pros and double check your final product.

It’s been one year since I launched my podcast and today, I’m talking about one of my favorite topics…how to work with people who are argumentative and confrontational. I know, I know…I hear this all the time. Why are these your favorite people to work with? Well, I love working with unpleasant people because I know how to develop rapport with them and turn our relationship into something truly collaborative. In this podcast, I’m going to tell you how I do it so you can do it too! Get ready, because you’re going to flip the script so hard, your colleagues are going to think you’re magic!

Using witnesses to help you feel more comfortable during a performance conversation may cost you elsewhere. In this episode, I talk about why I’m not a big fan of constantly using a witness when you have performance conversations, how to protect your credibility against liars and when I do recommend witnesses or extra participants.

If you are an empath and struggle when an employee is having performance concerns, you need to listen to this episode. We’re going to shape your mindset when it comes to emotions, performance and partnering with employees. Then we’ll address problem solving as a team and how this shapes your relationship with the employee. And finally, we’ll discuss training, touch points and your follow up on end results.

This month, I’m sharing feedback from leaders who shared what makes them the most anxious about giving performance feedback, what happens to them physically, what happens to them mentally and how they work past their body’s responses to the anxiety they’re feeling. In this episode, we cover feeling like you aren’t being taken seriously, not letting emotions come into play, making lists (the do’s and don’ts) and of course the mindset about getting the conversation done and over with. Lots of helpful information to help boost your confidence if you see opportunities for yourself in this area. Hope they help!

I’m going to debunk the biggest lie you were ever told as a leader. Then I’m going to help you shift your mindset by doing some practical things to actually help you feel more comfortable having high stakes conversations with your colleagues. By leveraging these recommendations and reflecting on your mindset, reactions and feelings, you will become more comfortable having conversations with just about anyone, on any topic with little to no preparation.

It’s easy to draft the perfect performance document, slide it across the table to the employee and check the box that you’ve taken care of addressing the issue. Unfortunately, no one remembers what’s on the performance document. They do, however, remember how they felt. Here, I break down the three main reasons performance documents should be used, how to address conduct in a way that isn’t demoralizing, but informative and supportive and why you should always make the conversation a priority over the documentation.

Poor behavior can be one of the hardest things to address. Many times, it’s not blatant and as a leader, you might not see it. Here we discuss how to address behavior to ensure everyone is creating the culture you envision for your team and how to address behavior that you don’t witness but is reported to you.

No one likes to be told they aren’t meeting performance expectations. But what if you took your titles and set them to the side and focused on what is actually going on. I guarantee you it’s not whether someone is meeting expectations. That’s the result. Instead of focusing on the outcome, look at what happened to get to that outcome and work out from there. You don’t need fancy titles and if you catch performance issues early enough, you won’t even need formal documents. And guess what? You’ll likely strengthen your work relationship in the process.