PODCAST · comedy
Unmasking with Cris Beasley
by Cris Beasley
Artist, musician, coach, technologist, healer, creator of an oracle deck based on the Enneagram – all wrapped up in a late-diagnosed AuDHD little firecracker. Comedy, consciousness, and curse words... yes, please. crisbeasley.substack.com
Episodes
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[video] Seven Directions Morning Energetic Attunement
Note: You can listen here on Substack, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. After a decade of fatigue topped off with a radical accidental overdose of Prozac, I had to rebuild my body and energetic system from nearly scratch. I tried a multitude of things. This morning attunement…
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The Long-awaited Conversation Women Must Have With Men
I am working with anger right now—not rage, but clean anger that refuses to mask or perform safety for others. I will no longer pad the egos of privileged men or pretend I’m not angry to make conversations comfortable; I need to speak mano a mano with awake adults who can handle direct truth...
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It's Hard to be on the Planet Right Now.
crisbeasley.com Substack Okay, it is 10:37 a.m. on Sunday, February 8th, and I have taken a handshake dose of bufo. It’s bringing up so many really painful things that I haven’t known how to talk about. It feels important to locate myself in the context. I’m a white woman, very British, on...
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A Call to All of Us Awkwardly Finding Our Voices
Coming to grips with autism + ADHD, the inheritance I got from my mother. Realizing that the reason I burned out so many times from my early 30's onwards was that I just didn't know how to speak what was actually true about myself. I didn't even know myself. This is the journey back with the...
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What's Happening with Money? February 2026
I am not a financial advisor. Consult appropriate experts. Correction: Gold was $1,300 in 2018, not $1,800 as I said. That's even worse news for how much the dollar has slipped.Nate Hagens Great Simplification Clive Owens on gold crash Jan 30th Lex Friedman on Fuck You Money find...
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Season 2 Trailer and Big Announcements
crisbeasley.substack.com crisbeasley.comHello and welcome to season two of Unmasking with Cris Beasley. I am your host, the aforementioned Cris Beasley, and the new name denotes the massive earthquake that has opened up in my self-understanding over the last months. Those of you who have been...
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I Went To the Place Where We All Have Awakened
It is presently half past nine in the evening. I’m going to attempt to catch the uncatchable, the unputtable-into-words experience of awakening that I had today. I say “awakening” with some amount of scare quotes in there because it feels so wild to say, “Oh hey, I awakened today.” But what I…
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You Shouldn't Have to Die Inside To Stay Alive
What if the whole “find your passion in life” is just a bait-and-switch to keep you from noticing the real heist—your birthright to create without selling the tenderest parts of your soul at a yard sale? In the next seventeen minutes, we’ll follow the money trail from your kitchen-table...
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Forgiving Grandpa
Well, this one’s a tearjerker… Transcript So this is my mama, Paula Beasley, on the day of her graduation. She was living in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, and we were living in Pocahontas, Arkansas. My mom didn’t raise me. She was disabled from birth, so my granny raised me, Virginia Beasley. She was...
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A Wobby, Wackadoo, Wonderful Week
“What henceforth cometh after such a strange week…” That’s what I’ve been wondering. Are you in strange times? All the people in my bubble are bumping around, breaking some old old old old old patterns, and finding themselves in brand new territory. I had so much energy pouring out of my solar...
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This Transmission Is a Spiral
In this raw, mud-footed transmission, the guides unpack five seismic truths: * Money is both scarce and bottomless—two radio stations broadcasting at once. Which one you tune to decides whether you slave or steward. * Every wall ever built (Berlin, China, the one in your head) is a desperate…
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Becoming Dragon Enneagram Oracle Version 2.0 Cometh Soonly
Greetings dear readers, October’s here, and the Becoming Dragon reboot is roaring ahead. I’ve wrapped the first draft of the art for the nine cards of the Enneagram 3. Ultimately, it will feature 82 round, double-sided cards that flip front-to-back for reversals like a coin. Add a digital...
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What I'm Tracking in September: ET Smoothies
This month's installment of funny, pretty, and weird rabbit holes takes us to the tribal lands of Arizona to inquire about extra-terrestrials. Did we meet them? Do they have exotic fruits and appetizers to share with us? You'll have to listen to find out. CONVIVVIUM Soul Family Reunion Dec 2-6,...
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Granny Said I Was “Too Big for My Britches” – Enneagram 8 Musings
If you prefer, it is available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts as well as Substack. Please do give us a 5-star rating and help this brand-new show get off the ground, btw. We read all reviews, so drop us a love note there. Enneagram 8: the bulldozer The wound is the terror that your...
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Make Conflict Resolution Your Effortless Superpower
I taught this superpower to one of my longest-running clients, someone who’s raised hundreds of millions of dollars for progressive causes, who gets the random call from Senators here and there whose ass is in a cinch. If you’ve been following this for long, you’ll already know that last August I...
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[Pt 3] The Secret I Meant to Take to My Grave
I got a headache during meditation today, that’s how much the fear mind did NOT want me to publish this. Nonetheless, I’m pushing this big boulder out into the world. If we are as sick as our secrets, this act means I am getting well. IYMCI, the previous two episodes will make it much easier to...
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[Pt 2] How NOT To Twin Flame
Here’s part two of the biggest crash and burn of my life. I went all the way down the mystical rabbit hole/hell and came out the other side with some handy new things in my pockets. The tagline of this Substack might as well be “I fuck up so you don’t have to.” You’re welcome. More about...
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[Pt 1] The Time I Accidentally Did Black Magic
It happened in Egypt. Of course, it happened in Egypt. Whomever is scriptwriting my life is a flair for the dramatic. P.S. This begins a phase of more audio-based episodes. These are now also available on Spotify, Apply, Overcast, and PocketCast. It may take a few days for everything to appear…
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Earning Versus Deserving
If you’re doing the work to heal money wounds and rewire old stories about worth, this one’s for you. It’s about untangling earning from deserving—two things we’ve been taught to confuse. This isn’t a money mindset pep talk. It’s a real moment from my own life, standing in front of a car I could...
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The Terrible Parallels Between Gisèle Pelicot's Abusers and the US Congress
[content warning: sexual violence, Trump] Section 3 of the 14th Amendment is a post-Civil War clause designed to keep traitors out of office. It bars anyone who’s sworn an oath to the Constitution and then engaged in insurrection or rebellion from holding public office ever again. After the…
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They Made You Addicted and Then Used Your Addictions To Control You.
Let's unpack the comment –"Male sexuality is the attraction to teenagers." It was a reply to a post by Benebell Wen on the Tao Te Ching and feminism. CW: I will be examining the origins of men’s attraction to underage girls in order to untangle them/us from the ways in which their sexuality has...
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Five Years Inside the Minds of Narcissists
Finally… FINALLY, I have clarity on what’s up with narcissists – their motivations, hopes, loves, fears, secret doubts, and the subtle ways you might still be giving your life force away to them. My father was a narcissist, and I was raised in a substantially narcissistic culture called the…
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[bedtime whispers] Quieting Fears About Procrastination
Welcome to the first episode of the Becoming Dragon podcast! I’ve been knowing it would come to this for some time. I’m surprised it took so long, and I’m surprised it’s already here. Such are the comic games of the brain. Brains do funny things, don’t they? Well here’s a bedtime whisper for when...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Artist, musician, coach, technologist, healer, creator of an oracle deck based on the Enneagram – all wrapped up in a late-diagnosed AuDHD little firecracker. Comedy, consciousness, and curse words... yes, please.
crisbeasley.substack.com
HOSTED BY
Cris Beasley
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Unmasking with Cris Beasley have?
Unmasking with Cris Beasley currently has 23 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Unmasking with Cris Beasley about?
Artist, musician, coach, technologist, healer, creator of an oracle deck based on the Enneagram – all wrapped up in a late-diagnosed AuDHD little firecracker. Comedy, consciousness, and curse words... yes, please. crisbeasley.substack.com
How often does Unmasking with Cris Beasley release new episodes?
Unmasking with Cris Beasley has 23 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Unmasking with Cris Beasley?
You can listen to Unmasking with Cris Beasley on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Unmasking with Cris Beasley?
Unmasking with Cris Beasley is created and hosted by Cris Beasley.
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