Uproot Abuse

In this episode of Uproot Abuse, Donna sits down with Laura Capello, former CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central AZ and current Regional Director at Cohere Life, to examine the silent drivers of youth harm: loneliness and insecurity. With hundreds of children waiting for mentors and the "noise" of AI and social media reaching a fever pitch, Laura discusses why the "Trusted Adult" model is more critical than ever. We explore empathy as a superpower and how we can uproot abusive behaviors by teaching the next generation that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. It’s time to trade digital algorithms for human connection and provide our youth with the role models they deserve.

In this episode of Uproot Abuse we dig into the systemic roots of bias and rejection with Nate Rhoton, CEO of one·n·ten. We explore the empathy gap and the urgent need for sensitivity in a climate where 38% of LGBTQ+ youth aren't safe enough to come out to their own families. From the funding crises sparked by political rhetoric to the "terrorist" labeling of trans individuals by extremist groups, Nate and Donna discuss how misinformation fuels abuse and strips away safe spaces in schools and communities. This conversation is a call to uproot judgment and replace it with the compassion necessary to ensure every young person can celebrate their true self.

What if the key to ending domestic violence isn't just funding more shelters, but fundamentally redefining power? In this episode of UPA, host Donna Bartos sits down with the legendary Gloria Feldt—former President and CEO of Planned Parenthood Federation of America and current CEO of Take The Lead. With a career spanning from Head Start classrooms in West Texas to the national political stage, Gloria brings a lifetime of fierce advocacy to a candid discussion on the "Prevention Gap."We dive deep into the "Elephant in the Room:" why society finds it easier to fund crisis intervention for victims than to invest in preventing interpersonal and domestic violence at the root. Gloria challenges the 2025 McKinsey report’s findings on the "ambition gap," arguing that women don’t lack ambition—they lack the corporate and societal support systems that men take for granted.Through the lens of her books, No Excuses and Intentioning Gloria explains her transformative shift from "Power Over" (oppression) to "Power To" (creation and energy). We tackle the sexual double standards that shame women’s autonomy, the urgent need for male accountability in reproductive rights, and why we must stop normalizing the objectification of women. This isn't just a conversation about the steps backward in a post-Title IX world; it’s a masterclass in using controversy as an opportunity for radical societal change.

What happens to the reporters who cover our darkest days? Veteran news director and industry leader, Bob Sullivan joins Donna to discuss the emotional toll of reporting on domestic violence and mass shootings. He reveals his philosophy on protecting staff from burnout, the industry’s past failures in sensitive reporting, and managing trauma and bias in the newsroom. 

What happens to a community when empathy is systematically erased? Investigative legend Mike Watkiss joins Donna to deconstruct the chilling "pillars of control" used by the FLDS to maintain absolute power. Moving beyond theology, Mike reveals how leaders like Warren Jeffs built a patriarchal machine designed to treat women as resources and children as property.In this deep dive, we explore the calculated cruelty of the "Lost Boys"—the strategic exile of young men to eliminate competition for the marriage pool. Mike explains how this wasn't just a demographic fluke, but a deliberate move to ensure the "Prophet" and his inner circle had unfettered access to underage girls. We discuss the "Making of the Patriarchy," looking at how boys are socialized to suppress their conscience and view dominance as a God-given right.From the geographic isolation of Colorado City to the mid-level enforcers who kept the system running, we examine why it’s so difficult to prosecute the men who executed these orders. It’s a raw conversation about the cost of manhood in a cult, the struggle to deconstruct harmful lessons, and what it truly takes to break the cycle of systemic abuse.

It has been over three decades since the world was shaken by the domestic violence murder of Nicole Brown Simpson. In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Uproot Abuse, host Donna Bartos sits down with Denise Brown, a woman who transformed her family’s unimaginable tragedy into a lifelong mission of advocacy.Denise opens up about who she was on June 11, 1994, versus the outspoken activist she became the very next day. She reflects on thirty years in the trenches—from testifying in the "Trial of the Century" to working with Congress on the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). Together, Donna and Denise discuss the "elephants in the room" that still plague our society today: the lethal nature of strangulation, the dangers of putting celebrities on pedestals, and the critical need to get "good men" involved in the movement.

In this episode of Uproot Abuse, Donna Bartos sits down with Jane Gordon—founder of Rock Recovery Charities, podcaster, and longtime board member for Alice Cooper’s Solid Rock Teen Centers. Together, they explore the powerful intersection of creative arts, addiction recovery, and violence prevention.Jane shares the inspiring history of Solid Rock, a "no-judgment" sanctuary where teens ages 12–20 can access free vocational training in music, dance, and video production. The conversation dives deep into how the arts serve as a critical "protective factor" for youth who feel like outcasts, providing a safe space for those who don't fit the traditional "jock or cheerleader" stereotypes.

In this powerful episode of Uproot Abuse, host Donna Bartos welcomes a very special guest who played a pivotal role in the foundation of BLOOM365: the honorable Judge Lynn Toler. Beyond her iconic presence on Divorce Court, Judge Toler is a mentor and dear friend who helped Donna find the courage and strategic vision to pick up the mantle and start an organization dedicated to preventing and responding to domestic violence. Together, they pull back the curtain on the early days of the movement, addressing the "elephants in the room" regarding interpersonal violence and exploring how the guidance of a strong mentor can catalyze systemic change. Join them for an intimate look at the leadership, friendship, and relentless advocacy required to uproot abuse in a generation.

Donna takes a break from the heavy work of trauma and abuse awareness to celebrate a milestone: 23 years of marriage to her husband, Peter Bartos! Get ready for some serious laughs as this candid, long-term couple faces off in a hilarious, competitive round of The Newlywed Game.Will Peter remember what Donna wore on their first date? Does Donna know his celebrity crush is Dianne Sawyer (who once touched his shoulder!)? You'll hear the real secret to their healthy, enduring partnership, the infamous parking garage incident, Peter's "romantic regurgitation," and why General Hospital is his guilty pleasure.Tune in for a much-needed dose of joy and a heartwarming reminder that even when life is challenging, a supportive relationship filled with love and laughter is the ultimate form of self-care.

Dr. Hirsch Handmaker, founder and CEO of The CACTIS Foundation, joins us to reveal a crisis hiding in plain sight: the shocking prevalence of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)—or concussion—in survivors of domestic violence.Dr. Handmaker shares groundbreaking research identifying the high correlation between strangulation and objective neurological damage. Learn why common symptoms like dizziness, memory loss, and double vision are signs of a brain injury, not just emotional distress. We discuss simple diagnostic tests used by police to confirm TBI at the point of incident, and the importance of shifting the focus from victim-blaming to understanding neurological injury for both successful prosecution and healing. Discover the foundation's "Return to Society" program that is bringing vital treatment and hope to survivors.

Rita Smith, an international expert on violence against women and a social justice advocate since 1981 joins Donna to talk about a really big "elephant in the room:” the normalization of violence—from our homes to the highest government offices. We talk about how current political behaviors mirror forms of abuse, including financial, mental, and coercion. Rita emphasizes the urgent need for civility with her call to action, discuss, debate, disagree- stressing that hurting someone is never an option.The conversation sheds light on the life-threatening realities victims face when trying to leave a domestic violence situation and the devastating fact that only 2% of philanthropy goes toward feeling safe at home. She discusses the history of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), the link between childhood trauma and mass shootings, and her belief in second chances (citing her work with the NFL). Finally, she challenges us to hold our government to the same safety standards as the NFL, underscoring that women must feel safe in their homes.

On this episode we welcome Phoenix broadcast legend Mary Jo West, the city's first primetime anchorwoman starting in 1976. West discusses her history-making career, which began when government mandates opened doors for women in media. Crucially, West reveals the personal tragedy that fueled her journalism: her own mother was a victim of domestic abuse in the 1950s. This experience drove West to produce a groundbreaking series on domestic violence in the 1970s. She highlights how tough it was to cover the issue, recalling a moment when her male co-anchor publicly doubted her statistics on air. West's story is a testament to using a platform to address the "elephants in the room" and break the enduring silence around interpersonal violence.

In this insightful conversation, we sit down with Suma Hodge, a Regional Clinical Director at MIKID (Mentally Ill Kids in Distress), to address the "elephant in the room" when it comes to raising kids: your own unresolved trauma. Suma explains how our past can directly affect our parenting, and why addressing it is the key to creating a healthier, more supportive home environment. We dive into how generational trauma manifests in everything from domestic violence to school behaviors, and discuss the profound, long-lasting impact of emotional abuse. A must-listen for any parent ready to foster empathy, break the cycle of harm, and support the next generation.

What happens when the very system meant to protect domestic violence survivors instead adds to their trauma? Shante Saulsberry, a fierce advocate and survivor herself, opens up about the hidden realities of abuse within the shelter system and the systemic barriers that keep women from moving forward. We explore how she turned her own pain into a powerful purpose, creating Janice's Woman's Center to provide a path to healing that puts control and power back into the hands of survivors.

For many, dating is a rite of passage. But what about young adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD)? In this vital episode, we confront the "elephant in the room" with Katherine Gyolai, founder of findlovesafely.com. We explore the alarming gap in education for this community regarding healthy relationships, consent, and abuse prevention. Learn how her unique matchmaking service is not just about finding a match, but about providing education, building confidence, and empowering a generation to have the safe, healthy relationships they deserve.

What is the "persistent elephant in the room" when it comes to domestic violence? We explore this with Mark Wynn, a retired detective sergeant, survivor of childhood abuse, and subject matter expert who offers a rare dual perspective on the issue. We unpack the complex reasons why 80% of victims fear reporting, the historical evolution of the justice system since the Violence Against Women Act, and the critical concept of coercive control. Mark shares a powerful blueprint for change, emphasizing offender accountability, community response models, and why the most crucial step in prevention is actively engaging men and boys to build a culture of empathy.

Join economist Danny Court as he breaks down the numbers behind some of society’s biggest challenges. We often hear about the costs of a problem, but what's the true economic value of preventing it in the first place? In this podcast, we explore the tangible cost of domestic violence, school shootings, and other societal harms, and reveal how shifting resources from treating the symptoms to addressing the root cause can save communities millions. From police response to lost productivity, discover how we can build a compelling case for prevention and change the conversation, one dollar at a time.

In a raw and unfiltered debate, Donna and former raper and security professional Clarence confront the uncomfortable truths behind violence. They clash over who is truly at fault in situations of harm, from road rage to domestic violence. Clarence shares his personal journey of unlearning toxic masculinity—shaped by a career of NDAs and emotional suppression—and reveals how rigid gender roles can fuel a dangerous cycle of power and control. This episode challenges our core beliefs about victim-blaming, strength, and the mindset that perpetuates violence.

In this episode, former rapper Clarence Ferguson joins us to discuss the social acceptance and normalization of violence in the music industry. We talk about the evolution of rap lyrics from the 80's to today's hyper-graphic content that blurs the lines between a performer's persona and their reality. We dissect Diddy's abuse of power and control, and the stark reality that victims are often disbelieved and silenced by money, coercion, and non-disclosure agreements.

What happens when a woman is expected to be modest in public but available for anything behind closed doors? In this eye-opening conversation, Donna sits down with an exotic dancer and model to challenge the double standards placed on women in society and discuss the often-misunderstood world of the adult entertainment industry. Our anonymous guest shares a day in the life of a dancer, what it's like to navigate men's expectations, and how the industry has changed since COVID-19. They dive into powerful topics like setting boundaries, the prevalence of victim-blaming, and why consent should never be a negotiation—on or off the stage.

Join us for a deeply personal and urgent conversation with Bruce Bieber, an anti-OIDV advocate who lost his daughter, Abigail, to domestic violence. Abby = was murdered by a fellow Hillsborough County (FL) Sheriff's Office (HCSO) Deputy. This episode goes beyond the tragic headlines to expose the "dirty little secret" of Officer-Involved Domestic Violence (OIDV). We'll unpack the unique dangers posed by law enforcement, the pervasive "Blue Code" of silence, and the societal hypocrisies that allow abusers to thrive. Drawing on his daughter's story, Bruce illuminates how violence is often predictable and, therefore, preventable. He discusses the systemic failures, the legal double standards women face, and the "super aggressor" dynamic of police power. But this is not a story of despair. It's a powerful call to action, highlighting Bruce's inspiring mission to promote policy change, enlighten communities, and empower a new generation of "enlightened" officers. As Steve Jobs once said, you can only connect the dots looking backwards. Bruce’s new purpose is to connect the dots of the past to ensure no other family endures a similar tragedy.

Get ready to be inspired! In this powerful episode, Donna sits down with new teen peer advocates who just completed the intensive BLOOM365 Peer Advocate Academy, part of the NOVA (National Organization for Victim Advocacy) Conference Teen Track. These remarkable young people are on a mission to uproot abuse in their schools and communities. They’re bringing a vital, peer-to-peer perspective to violence prevention, focusing specifically on the "elephant in the room:” the unique barriers to help-seeking faced by their peers. They'll discuss the specialized curriculum that equipped them to recognize unhealthy relationships, practice crucial advocacy skills, and foster a culture of empathy and consent, specifically considering the added complexities LGBTQ+ youth often navigate. Discover what ignited their passion for this urgent, often overlooked issue, the challenges they anticipate, and their exciting plans to amplify their voices. They aim to create a future where all youth, especially their LGBTQ+ peers, feel safe and supported in seeking help. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in youth empowerment, LGBTQ+ advocacy, and the incredible impact of young leaders.

Join us for a profound conversation with Dr. Jon Caldwell, Chief Medical Officer at The Meadows, as we explore the deep roots of childhood trauma. Drawing on his extensive work with Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES), Dr. Caldwell reveals how early adversity – from divorce and poverty to abuse – can profoundly impact neurobiology, behavior, and future well-being. We dive into the nature vs. nurture debate, the "orchid and dandelion" hypothesis, and the intricate connections between genetics, environment, and the capacity for empathy. Learn about innovative prevention efforts, including BLOOM365's work in schools and vital initiatives with military service members. This episode isn't just about understanding the problem; it's a powerful call to action for a societal shift towards healing, early intervention, and building communities where every child can thrive.

Join us as Veronica, a hair stylist with a deeply personal connection to her clients, shares how the salon chair has become an unexpected frontline in the fight against abuse. Discover the vital "Cut-It-Out" program, how stylists recognize warning signs, and the powerful impact of "natural helpers" in our communities. Learn about different types of prevention and why silence is an abuser's greatest ally.

Meghan Krein, Director of Communications & PR for ChildHelp, joins the podcast to shed light on the critical issue of child abuse. The staggering statistic that six children are lost daily to abuse in the U.S. emphasizes the importance of education for both adults and children. Meghan details ChildHelp's vital work, including their 24/7 hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD). The episode explores the subtle signs of abuse, the cycle of generational trauma, and the specific dangers children face during the summer months when they are isolated from school support systems. Join us to learn about the importance of community vigilance and how to support at-risk families and new parents.

From a near-fatal attack to fighting global injustice, this episode dives deep into the extraordinary life of Attorney Josh Kolsrud. Hear his harrowing story of survival after a brutal stabbing and how that traumatic experience shaped his perspective as a prosecutor, leading him to confront international sex trafficking, cartel operations, and the systemic issues surrounding domestic violence. This conversation challenges our understanding of accountability, forgiveness, and what it truly takes to prevent the next generation of offenders. 

Parenting presents unique challenges, but you're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Marcus R. Earle, a renowned clinical psychologist, shares vital insights for fostering healthy family dynamics. Discover practical strategies to break controlling or abusive behavioral patterns, a crucial step in preventing their transmission across generations. Dr. Earle offers actionable tips on being present, utilizing positive reinforcement, and cultivating strong social connections for children and teens. We discuss the impact of media, the significance of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES), and how addressing loneliness can be a powerful tool in preventing interpersonal violence. Ready to build stronger, healthier relationships within your home and community? Tune in!

Kayla DeCant, Project Director of Prevention & Outreach at Lewis University, is all about stopping gender-based violence—especially on college campuses. We explore "adultism," as a barrier to empowering young people to seek help, and common roadblocks for youth involvement in prevention efforts. Kayla gets real about the current federal ban on words like “equity” and “empathy,” and shares creative strategies for practitioners to reframe conversations to "meet youth where they are." Learn why peer support is vital, and ways to elevate conversation and education on violence prevention amidst societal shifts. [email protected]

It's happening in our communities, often unseen. Retired Detective Heidi Chance pulls back the curtain on the hidden world of human trafficking, sharing her firsthand undercover work to catch these criminals in plain sight. Discover the surprising realities of who traffickers are, how they operate, and why financial incentives need to be addressed. Learn the warning signs, the importance of open conversations with our children, and how we can all contribute to ending this exploitation.  www.chanceforawareness.comInstagram @a_chance_forawareness

Join Mandi Pratt, host of the “Aware & Prepared” podcast as she bravely recounts her story of marrying her high school sweetheart who became a narcissistic abuser, the harrowing experience of leaving with her young son, and the unbelievable twist of identifying him as an FBI-wanted bank robber. Now, Mandi is a passionate advocate, sharing her insights on recognizing red flags, healing from trauma, and fostering healthy relationships so others can avoid the pain she endured. Mandi's "elephant in the room" is a call to action: we must prioritize teaching the power of intuition – not just hearing it, but acting on it. LinkedIn: Donna Bartos  IG: @uprootabuse Website: www.mandipratt.com Instagram @womenawareandprepared

While known for portraying tough characters in films like "Blood In, Blood Out," Victor Rivas Rivers is deeply committed to a violence-free world. Reflecting on a childhood shaped by a lack of emotional expression for men and patriarchal social norms; Victor powerfully states, "You can judge your society by the way men treat women." In this episode, Victor passionately discusses his personal journey through adverse childhood experiences and his vital work championing the redefinition of masculinity and actively combating violence against women. We explore the urgent need to break generational cycles of domestic violence, the crucial role men play in this fight, the enduring power of hope and healing, and his compelling call to action for meaningful societal change.

From a childhood marked by witnessing domestic violence, my life’s purpose ignited early. In the quiet countryside of Norma, New Jersey, the animals at my parents' shelter offered silent comfort during a childhood overshadowed by my father's volatile behavior towards my mother, and sometimes me. In this episode, we'll explore the roots of his actions, examining his own challenging childhood shaped by loss and a lack of emotional tools, which ultimately led him to build a tough facade and turn to violence. A pivotal moment arrived during a crabbing trip when his drunken jealousy led to a turning point. We will unpack the complex question of why abusers abuse, understanding that it's a learned behavior, not an innate trait, emphasizing the importance of addressing risk factors. Tune in for a powerful exploration of resilience and the birth of lifelong advocacy.

Find inspiration with filmmaker and Emmy Award Winning journalist Carey Peña of Inspired Media360. Discover the transformative power of untold positive stories, shifting social norms from “wilting” to “blooming.” Gain profound insights into her moving documentary, "Blank Canvas Reimagining Corrections," offering a look inside women's prisons and highlighting remarkable resilience. Learn about the crucial role of empathy and proactive solutions championed by organizations like BLOOM365. Carey also shares her impactful journey in media and her unwavering advocacy, recognized with the Heart of an Angel Award from Childhelp. For a dose of hope, don't miss this compelling conversation. LinkedIn: Donna Bartos  IG: @uprootabuse Carey's Website: https://inspiredmedia360.com

This episode focuses on restoring power and control to survivors of abuse. Join Donna as she examines the damaging effects of gaslighting and introduces the L.E.V.E.L.™ technique, a practical tool for empowering victims and providing genuine support. Learn how to avoid the "J.O.A.N. Zone" of judgment, opinions, advice, and nudging, understanding why the victim must always be in control of their own path to safety and healing. LinkedIn: Donna Bartos  IG: @uprootabuse

BLOOM365 student Peer Advocate Sophia Lin discusses the complexities of teen relationships, including "situationships," normalized red flags, and victim blaming, emphasizing the crucial role of youth voices. Highlighting peer-to-peer advocacy as a vital resource in schools, Sophia encourages both teens and trusted adults to seek training and get involved in preventing interpersonal violence. Her message underscores the power of open dialogue in fostering a safer future for all young people. LinkedIn: Donna Bartos  IG: @uprootabuse [email protected]

Why do so few men step up to publicly combat domestic violence? Join Victim Advocate, Alejandro “Alex” Palacios, as he explores with us a big 'elephant in the room' - the silence of men. Alex identifies the barriers to engaging boys and men in the work, from societal pressures to personal responsibility. We explore the impact of trauma, the importance of empathy, and practical steps to influence meaningful change in your local community. This podcast is a call to action, a conversation starter, and a plea for change. IG: @alexpalaciosarza LinkedIn: Alejandro Palacios LinkedIn: Donna Bartos  IG: @uprootabuse

Episode #6 - Join Donna as she unveils the profound message within "Are you blooming or wilting?," a tool she authored after years of inquiry into the abuse of power and control in relationships. Discover how this visual, created in 2010, illuminates healthy v. unhealthy characteristics that shape our relationships, sparking vital self-reflection and dialogue. Now widely shared, it offers a powerful lens to examine your own interactions, identify red flags, prevent root causes, and cultivate safe and healthy relationships rooted in empathy, stemmed in agency and centered on respect, communication and love. Explore with us how this resource can empower you to build relationships that flourish, free from the abuse of power and control.  LinkedIn: Donna Bartos  IG: @uprootabuse

HVAC techs and reps see the human side of homes. Peter Bartos, of State 48 Home Services, had a chilling experience with a customer that forced him to confront the lethality of domestic violence head on. This episode exposes the unsettling reality home services professionals face, the hidden signs and dangers of domestic violence, and how everyone can contribute to prevention. Plus, Peter shares the heart behind his heating and cooling business, inspired by a 90-year-old veteran in need.

Maddie Armentrout, MFT - Maddie, a survivor turned advocate, illuminates how childhood trauma distorts perceptions of love, normalizing abuse red flags for youth. She advocates for early intervention and male inclusion in abusive prevention, pushing for language change. Her story empowers others to recognize and confront these signs to prevent interpersonal violence. Maddie reveals how everyone has a role to play in driving societal shifts against interpersonal abuse. Contact: [email protected] IG: @marymaddison

Professor Douglas Wilkey, an ASU criminal justice subject expert, discusses the complexities of domestic violence, challenging stereotypical beliefs that frame women as inherently "crazy" and men as universally abusive. He explores the dynamics of power and control, the trauma profiles of both offenders and victims, and the influence of societal factors and social norms. Contacts: [email protected]  FB and LinkedIn: Douglas Wilkey IG: @douglaswilkey

Legendary Broadcaster, Pat McMahon shares his thoughts on how media handles stories about domestic abuse and teen interpersonal violence. In many newsrooms "If it bleeds it leads" which means the bad stories are shared first, many times blaming the victim. Does the drama draw in viewers, is it what the audience wants to see and what role do men in the media play?

Donna Bartos, founder and CEO of BLOOM365 introduces us to her new podcast Uproot Abuse and her BIG WHY. The purpose of the show will be to address the "elephants in the room" and the root causes of interpersonal violence.  Contact info: IG: @uprootabuse @Donna_Bartos@BLOOM365  LinkedIn: Donna Bartos

Uproot Abuse is a groundbreaking podcast dedicated to confronting the pervasive epidemic of interpersonal violence in America. Host Donna Bartos, author of Are You Blooming or Wilting? and founder of Bloom 365, draws from her own experiences with abuse to spark meaningful conversations and inspire change. Each episode dives deep into the root causes of violence, examining red flags, risk factors, and the path toward healthier relationships. With insights from trusted peer influencers, subject matter experts, and special guests, the show empowers communities to educate, intervene, and disrupt the cycle of abuse before it begins. Join us on a mission to challenge the status quo and help create safer, more compassionate communities for future generations.