V'Ger Please!

The most enertianing one-sided romantic plotline in TV history kicks into high gear as we review "Return to Grace"! When Kira hitches a ride on her least favorite Cardassian's busted hooptie. she and Dukat are forced to the most awkward co-parenting relationship of all time. When the Klingons show up long enough to make them both mad, Kira teaches him a few terror tactics, he decides to kill all his enemies, and I'm sure that ending shot won't be important at all!

The Tower of Dour earns his name as Peter hates on "Crossfire", an episode Joseph thinks is very good and didn't do anything wrong. We dig deep on legitimiate flaws - Shakaar kinda sucks - but is Sad Odo really as bad as Peter says? Or is Joseph right that this is a unique episode demonstrating the character's depth? Listen and decide for yourself!

When Sisko runs the old Lion in Winter play and Odo lays down karate chops, your hosts go deep on everything from the anatomy of coups to cadet jawlines as we review "Paradise Lost"! This episode really has everything – betrayal, deceit, plucky trickster 'Miles', real coffee, and the true opening moves to a story that is just beginning.

Your hots continue their in depth discussion of the the trials of utopia as we conclude our discussion of "Homefront"! We confront many of the key questions DS9 seeks to ask as we consider if the Federation - and especialy Earth - has gone soft. Starfleet might see a lot of space madness, but the people of Earth didn't sign up for this! As 24th Century security theater begins, we ask if the Changelings are here to destroy the planet, or merely make it betray itself. 

Your hosts begin to tackle the most seismic shift of Berman-era Trek as we begin our review of "Homefront". In this first part of our discussion we tackle a number of fundamental issues with Starfleet, the nature of the Dominion threat, the ability (or willingness) of a pacifist Federation to accept the necessity of war, and why in the world Dax committing a Breaking and Entering is somehow the B plot of this episode.

Joseph is shaken, but Peter is not stirred as we review the episode made for your wyes only, "Our Man Bashir". While one host is oriented towards letting it live, the other might as well let it die! When Garak gets insight into Bashir's fantasy life, it sure is a a view to a kill, as the good doctor enjoys is Octopussy, but soon a space dilema hits where the crew will infact not live twice...but only once! With one character definitely playing a spy who loves him, our trusty duo may not have a license to kill anyone, but they will definitely will prove that on Deep Space Nine, it's no time to die (in the holosuite). Also Peter does not like Bond movies. 

Good news everyone, Dax finally has some agency, it's just in someone else's plot as we review "The Sword of Khaless"! What could have been a very good an interesting idea is utterly wasted by absurdly rushing it as Kor, Worf, and Dax have their little adventure together. Turns out the major cplaint we had with this one is the same complaint the had back in 1995, so some things never change! 

Nothing quite like a below rate Ferengi Nonsense Episode to get your hosts talking about litterally anything else as we do our best to review "Little Green Men". After discussing the true A plot of Ferengi racisim, we don't have much to say about this goofball slop. However, if you want our deep opinions about Star Trek: United, this is absolutly the episode for you! 

Once perma-locked behind our Patreon walls, sometimes the ediotr of this podcast needs a break....which means sometimes years old content can make it's debut on the grand stage! Years ago, your hosts followed up on the strangest in-joke our show ever had about a single Season 5 episode of Voyager and bad mid 90's comic book films and reviewed "Tank Girl"! Your hosts really did not enjoy this. We may not have been sober at the time of recording. But it may very well be the funniest things we have ever said on the internet.  

Whats old can be new again as we review the stikingly familiar "Starship Down"! Listen, sometimes immitation can both be flattery and pretty dang good when we hit the replay button on a TNG favorite, switch up what Worf and O'Brien were doing, add in some James Cromwell getting addicted to gambling by Quark, and sprinkle in some "Das Boot" for good measure.

Your Intepid-class podcasters are forced to review a Very Special Episode that absolutly does not deliver when we endure "Rejoined"! After we describe the plot in about eight words....uh...well what else is there to do except go over Peter's sketchy search history, rewrite the script about 3098 times, and ultimiatly decide that if you don't build an actual story around it, then the kiss isn't very interesting in the end. Also? The Trill stink. 

Nothing quite like spicing up your road trip with Cassanova Dukat as we review "Indiscressions". Fresh off his promotional experience, everyone's favorite frenemy gets himself invited along as Kira hunts for survivors of a lost prison ship. While these two chums speed run their way through "The Searchers", Sisko takes on relationship advice from everyone...yes, even Bashir!

Miles and Julian have the worst kind of friendship adventure as we review "Hippocratic Oath"! When Man Who Acts Real Good Through Reptile Makeup takes our bromance pair hostage, we finally get to see the office/enlisted man divide in stark form. More than that, we see that the CHief has lost none of his Space Vietnam edge! As for the B-plot, we get the Detective Worf story we didn't want, yet still somehow needed. 

Strap yourself in to shed that one, big manly tear as we review DS9 going right for the fatherhood feelings as we watch "The Visitor". When the Defiant Warp Core requires another soul to claim, Captian Sisko gets trapped in a space-time waiting room. We get a truly powerful dramatic entry as we watch two actors portray a vision of Jake that cannot move on from his father's dissaperance. Is the plot a bit thin and ram-rodded? Sure, but when the acting is this good...who cares?

At long last, Joseph and Peter wrap up their discussion of "Way of the Warrior" as we cover all the big moments. From Worf getting caught up on three seasons worth of Cardassian plot, to Quark and Garak having a conversation about Federation exceptionalisim (even if they resent it), to the big showdown where every main character collects a few notches on the kill count. The big time of DS9 has arrived at last!

Our friends on Deep Space Nine dowload that sweet overpowered DLC and get their hands on a new character as we continue our review of "The Way of the Warrior"! When Worf arrives, he immediatly starts fights, pushes around Klingon generals, flirts with Dax, and otherwise shows he is going to fit right in!

The time has come at last to begin THE PEAK as your heroes begin their epic, three part review of the best Trek movie you have forgotten about "The Way of the Warrior"! To be honest we only get 15 minutes into the episode because there is so much to talk about. The director, the costume changes, the immediacy of the tension, the Klingons, Martok...it's going to take several hours to get through it all, so enjoy this first part!

As we prepare ourselves to delve into the rich peaks of Star Trek's finest run - DS9 Season's 4-7, we decide to take the time to do our homework! With Worf joining the show, we review four key Worf/Klingon lore entries from TNG - "Sins of the Father", "Reunion", and "Redemption Pts 1 and 2" - and discuss the layered politics, Worf's evolution as a man, and a name on all four of the scripts - one Ronald D. Moore. 

As we prepare to shift gears into DS9's delve into the Federation at war, please enjoy our Patreon episode on the excellent fan film creation "The Battle of Wolf 359" by JTVFX. A work of art and continuity only a true fan could make, we get a striking portriat of the apocolyptic trauma that lopsided fight at Wolf 359 would have produced on Starfleet. Risk might be our business, but what business creates 11,000 dead?   

Gather round friends as Joseph and Peter take a rare opportunity to do an in person episode (sorry about the echo) to deliver on their judgements for Deep Space Nine, Season3! After a often thrilling, deep, and overall fantastic ride - what o we rank at the top? The bottom? What was weak? And who was able to hold their own with Sisko? 

As we reach the end of Season 3 at long last, DS9 previews the horrors to come for the Alpha Quadrant as we review "The Adversary". Our heroes get to play at their own version of "The Thing" as they deal with the haunting reality of an enemy who is a total sociopath and could be anyone or anything on the ship. But hey, at least Sisko is confronting these problems with a full four pips!

Our girl Dax goes 0-3 on the season as we review the dissapointing "Facets"! A fun theater kid idea of 'have the cast play all of the Dax hosts' meanders around for around 30 minutes before figuring out what the plot actually is. Can this episode be saved by Rom dropping a fantastic WWE promo on Quark in defense of his son? Probably not!

We take a quick detour into our Patreon vaults (due to podcaster illness) and share our review of Joseph's favorite piece of Star Trek media - "The Undiscovered Country"! When the Klingons get a bad case of the Space Chernobyls, we get a film that serves as the true entrypoint of 'realpolitik Trek'. We get Shakespeare quoting bad guys, prison breaks, dramatic space battles, and Cold War political struggles that still work to this day.  

When the government of Bajor has another case of the yips, Kira meets up with her old murderin' friends with great hair as we review "Shakaar"! We get a real mixed bag of an episode as Kai Winn gives a straight up supervillan speech, the surface of Azeroth actually looks a bit messed up for a change, a disposable darts based B plot...all resulting in a jumble that is less then the sum of its parts. 

Season's Greetings and Good Will Towards Profit as we review "Family Buisness"! When 'ol Jeff of Many Faces shows up as the local Ferengi IRS agent, Quark and Rom deal with the consequences of their mom being a buisness genius. Meanwhile, every member of the DS9 crew is conspiring with Jake to get Sisko hooked up with a local space trucker while comitting some light criminal activity.

When the boss grows a beard and gets a fun new hobby, it's going to be a good time for your hosts as we review "Explorers"! After a brief visit to Bajor, Ben comes up with a very suspect new construction project while bonding with Jake, Bashir has a wierd subplot but at least he gets drunk with Miles, and Gul Dukat begins his Friendship Arc. 

In an extra lengeth episode, we dive into the depts of every part of the true beginning of the best Trek ever made - "The Die is Cast"! Garak has made the classic error of thinking he can go back to work at the job that fired him last time, Sisko provides a perfect demonstration of Starfleet General Order 2, and Odo proves exactly how good a man he has become. 

At long last the good show that Deep Space Nine has been starts to transform into the great show it is destined to be as we watch and review "Improbable Cause"! Garak has a big all kabloom go off in his shop, Odo proves himself the best detective, and we dig deep on the galactic geopolitics to come. 

The force of nature we call Death Row Sisko gets a free pass to visit his personal Westworld as we review the second DS9 Mirror Universe entry "Through the Looking Glass"! Smiles picks the right man for the job when he rolls by ops to get Sisko to play his evil opposite. Our man gets to save his 'wife' while banging the evil version of his hot coworkers? Oh heck yeah!

It's all fun and games until the local Danger Level Alpha alien drug dealer decides to psychic assault you as we review "Distant Voices"! This one is definitly a bit of a stinker as we debate the old age makeup, retroactive continuity, and spend mot of our time figuring out how to re-write it...but is it reallt worse than a Chakotay episode? 

When our local blue collar hero gets a case of the Time Blips, it turns into a tight, continuity heavy adventure as we review "Visonary"! The Romulans are here - shoulder pads and all - to get that sweet intel, Bashir is the worst best friend, and you find all about how to ace your next worker's comp audit from Peter! No seriously, it maks sense!

The galaxy's most legendary bartender decides to cold call the space gods as we review "Prophet Motive." After Zek shows up filled with all the wrong kings of Martin Luther energy, Quark and Rom have to figure out how to get orthadoxy settled back into position. You might think this one is bad, but hey, can any episode where Quark is this shamelessly working his magic is without value?

If you know us, then you know we could never resist reviewing a movie starring Andrew Robinson and making deals with demons! Happy Haloween from your hosts, and please enjoy this review of the 80's horror classic "Hellraiser", featuring mild mannered Garak and plenty of stories from your hosts explaining the LARP world and being the Infernal Fun Police. 

That whole bit about Ben Sisko accidentaly becoming Space Jesus comes back around as we get a flavor of the divine in "Destiny". They manage to thread the needle as both Joseph AND Peter walk away happy with a spiritual focused episode while Siko and Kira navigate prophecy. Meanwhile. O'Brian once again lines up a 90's hottie without even trying. 

It turns our that this show is so good, that even a money saver dialogue heavy epiosde in the Hell Caves is still going to be a banger as we review "Heart of Stone". We find Odo in a moment of crisis when he, Kira, and Special Guest Star Runabout wind up getting vicitimized by bad special effects. Meanwhile the B plot actually works this time as Nog figures out the Food and Bev industry might not be for him. 

Once in a great while you get two great stories, even if they really shouldn't have happened at the same time as we review "Life Support." So yeah, it might be a tonal mismatch to have the tragic, deep, deadly medical drama featuring Space Pope Karen paired with zany Nog and Jake dating subplots featuring Bayside graduates. But hey, both are good!

We go deep and meta on trek and ourselves as we revisit where V'Ger Please started as we revisit the Voyager pilot, "Caretaker"! Quark gives the ship a deserving farewell from DS9 as we dig deep on our thoughts about the episode - and Voyager as a whole - with seven and a half years of additional context (and much better microphones). 

We review the second half of the all-to-timely "Past Tense, Part II". Ben and Julian need to make sure a terrible act of political violence takes place to ensure the timeline stays in-tact while helping everyone involved retain their empathy. Boy, sounds like science fiction more than ever, am I right?

What's that, we have to review an episode about urban crime, class divides, and deep questions of humanity? Oh and it takes place of the 'future' of 2024? Well 'that won't be awkward at all as we review "Past Tense, Part 1"! Just remember one important thing - Dax is prepared to be a con artist in any time or place. 

Hey everyone, do you like Shakespeare? What about The Lesser Troi? No one? Well too bad, because we are reviewing "Facination"! Deep Sheetz Nine is having a groovy slice of life episode with some sort of new years thing, but then our favorite(!) ambassador shows up and everyone gets a case of the horny. It's wacky! It's also somehow...not the worst?

Poor Major Kira, she's overworked, she stressed, she needs a break. so it will be just when the doctor ordered when good 'ol Commander Riker shows up...right? We finally review "Defiant" and find out if Peter managed to stay pure, go deep on the Tom Riker question, and find out why you don't let the CIA have an actual army. 

We find a way to not talk about this episode as much as possible as we review classic DS9 stinker "Meridian"! We get to experience the joy of Dax retrofit into a Troi plot, unearned emotion like it's a DISCO episode, and Jeffery Combs show up to do naughty cybercrimes with Quark. 

Everyone gets in on the action as we review the most improbably perfect comedy episode Trek has ever produced as we review "Civil Defense". After Deep Sheetz Nine turns into a pro level Cardassian escape room, can our crew outwit Dukat's incredible Bioware-style dialogue trees? Also, who was that guy who just got zapped to ashes during our wacky nonsense?

Everyone is dealing with the consequences of parenthood this week as we review "The Abandoned". So the A plot with Odo uncovering the horror of his people is great and all, but we need to have an immediate conversation about Jake 'Pool Shark' Sisko. This young  lad is out here pulling Alpha Quadrant Eights!

It's time for the ol' classic 'your life is fake/a lie' get a new twist as we review "Second Skin"! When Kira gets a replimat call no one would want, she winds up a pawn in a much bigger game, Garak commits his first crimes for Starfleet, and we decide if the Obsidian Order is either galaxy brain genius or Scooby-Doo level idiots. 

We get another solid dose of detail on Trill where Jadzia spends the principal part of the episode out of the action as we review "Equilibrium"? Seriously, why were the DS9 writers so bad at this? How did the manage to make Quark a fantastic loverboy but somehow every single time it's Trill Time they give us underbaked nonsense where the focus character has no agency over her existence? WHY DID YOU DO THIS THREE TIMES?

The all seeing eye of a shifty man with an accounting background knows no fear from the Bat'leth as we review "The House of Quark"! As per the usual arrangement our local barman bats well above his average with the ladies and gets wrapped into Klingon politics, uses spreadsheet mastery to survive. Meanwhile Killer Keiko finds out marrying the doorman comes at a cost. 

Odo finds out the hard way he is related to a band of real psychos as we review "The Search, Pt. 2" ! Everything seems pretty chill on Planet Goo when Odo meets the fam, but when NPC Garak helps the team beat Fake Nechayev, we found out that there might be some real problems. 

We witness the full flowering of the most potent weapon in the Alpha Quad as we finish our discussion of "The Search, pt1." The gang is very much all here as they pile into the new hot rod filled with Explodium. Odo brings his bucket, but its Sisko that brings the PAIN. 

When Sisko rolls back into Deep Sheetz Nine with Starfleet's castoff superweapon, things get very interesting as we begin our discussion of Season 3 and "The Search Pt. 1" We spend an hour on just the part before they leave for the Gamma Quad! There is so much to go over! Enjoy us being indulgent.