We Gotta Thing - Exploring Non-Monogamy
by Mr & Mrs Jones's Swinging Adventures
We are a long-time married couple deepening our relationship through the swinging lifestyle . We intend for our podcast to resonate with those having similar life experience and values who are either in or potentially entering the lifestyle. Not a "how to" resource but more of a "what if" resource that generates authentic conversation between couples to help them find their place in the lifestyle. Care to join us?
Episodes
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Episode 165: Judgment, Insecurity and Curiosity in the Lifestyle
In this episode with Meshai from Expansive Connection we discuss something we think just about everyone in the lifestyle has experienced at some point: the fear of being judged. The reality is, we all make judgments about people. It's just part of being human. But sometimes those judgments say…
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Episode 164: Ask Us Anything- Vol. 1
Over the years, we've received countless questions and podcast topic suggestions from listeners, but not every question lends itself to an entire episode. That's one reason we started hosting our weekly Ask Us Anything Friday livestreams in the We Gotta Thing community. Now we're bringing that…
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Episode 163: Managing Menopause in the Lifestyle
In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching we talk about how Menopause has a way of touching just about everything—and your relationship definitely doesn't get a pass. As estrogen declines, the instinct to take care of everyone, smooth the edges, keep the peace, and put…
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Episode 162: Where Non-monogamy Intersects with Real Life
Non-monogamy can be about much more than sex with other people. For us, it has enriched our relationship, created meaningful friendships, and changed the way we move through everyday life. In this episode, we explore how the lessons we've learned through ethical non-monogamy show up in our...
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Episode 161: How Feelings Make Us Feel
Emotions are having a moment—and they're affecting everything from our broader culture to our most intimate relationships. In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection joins us to explore how fear of uncomfortable feelings, emotional manipulation, codependency, and unregulated emotional...
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Episode 160: More Than Monogamy Documentary- An Interview with the Creators
Sexuality is complex. Sexuality is diverse. Sexuality is More Than Monogamy. More Than Monogamy is a feature-length documentary film about non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, swinging, kink, and ethical non-monogamy. The film explores the many relationship structures that exist beyond...
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Episode 159: So You Think You Want to Kink?
Kink is often misunderstood, wrapped in myths, stereotypes, and cultural taboos that obscure what it's really about. In this episode, we unpack what kink is—and just as importantly, what it isn't. From broad definitions of BDSM and the idea that kink is simply "whatever is taboo for you," we...
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Episode 158: Taking One for the Team
The phrase "taking one for the team" is often treated as a hard boundary in ethical non-monogamy, but we think the reality is far more nuanced. For us, attraction is rarely determined by physical appearance alone. Decisions about whether to pursue a connection are influenced by a combination of...
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Episode 157: Erotic Compatibility and Non-Monogamy
What if the key to greater pleasure, connection, and fulfillment is understanding your unique erotic wiring? In this episode, we explore the Erotic Blueprints™, a framework developed by somatic sexologist Jaiya that helps explain the different ways people experience desire, arousal, and intimacy....
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Episode 156: Opening the Circle
In this episode, Dr Mitch from Expansive Connection joins us as we explore the powerful idea of "Opening the Circle" — the human need to feel welcomed, included, and connected. We talk about how the first question most people ask when entering any new environment isn't "What's going on here?" but...
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Episode 155: Redefining the Swinging Lifestyle
In this episode we are reframing the traditional concept of "swinging" by moving away from labels that feel intimidating or misleading and instead embracing the broader concept of ethical non-monogamy. While the term "swinger" often implies casual sex with others and the word "lifestyle" is vague...
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Episode 154: Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy
In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection discusses the pervasive issue of comparison, its roots in human evolution, and practical tools to manage it. The conversation explores how comparison impacts self-esteem, relationships, and the lifestyle, offering actionable strategies to foster...
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Episode 153: Your Insecurity is Your Issue
We've talked about jealousy, we've talked about body image. We've discussed learning to flirt and being corageous in the lifestyle. But beneath the surface we all have insecurities about ourselves at the root of all these things! In this episode we share what we beleive are the causes of our...
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Episode 152: Managing Anxiety in the Lifestyle
There are no shortage of lifestyle sitiuations that will cause us some anxiety! Visiting a club for the first time, going on a first date, being rejected by others, wondering if our partner will 'find someone better,' performance issue worries....and so on. What is actually going on in our brains...
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Episode 151: The Resort- A Gateway to Ethical Non-Monogamy
In this episode we review our trip to 'The Resort' which was first introduced by George in episode 137. The Resort is a new opportunity to step into ethical non-monogamy in a new format and market. This property is set on the cliffs of western Jamaica and is absolutely stunning! The views, the...
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Episode 150: Is the Lifestyle Addictive?
Can the lifestyle become an addiction? Well, it can if we don't recognize what's going on in our brains. In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection, we break down the key components at play including New Relationship Energy (NRE), Novelty, Desensation, the 'Pleasure Paradox' and how...
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Episode 149: How to Be a Power Couple in the Lifestyle
What does it take to be 'successful' as a couple in the world of non-monogamy? In this episode we discuss waht we believe to be the four most important characteristics of a power couple in the lifestyle: Be Connected Be Curious Be Confident Be Approachable Important Links: Get access to the free…
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Episode 148: Reframing Christian Faith and the Lifestyle
Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitch G, the newest member of the Expansive Connection coaching team. His training, experience, and specialization in religion and theology provides a...
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Episode 147: Safer Sex with STD Hero
One of the most common concerns for those in the lifestyle or considering non-monogamy is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or disease. We invited Alan Brock, CEO, and Dr William Budd, Scientific Advisor from Better Life Sciences and STD Hero testing to discuss the…
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Episode 146: How Relationships Change Over Time
We all know that all relationships, monogamous and non-monogamous, will change over time. Many of those changes will lead to the relationship ending. But does it have to end? Why can't the dynamics of a relationship change while preserving the friendship through it's next phase? Kel from…
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Episode 145: Ask Us (And Our Friends) Anything
This 'ask us anything' episode was recorded live at our 9th annual group trip to Desire Pearl. Not only did we answer questions but our friends helped us out by contributing as well.
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Episode 144: Lifestyle Coaching in the Aftermath of Loss
As a follow up to our episode 142, we hear from Catherine about how the ending of her marriage is affecting her coaching business at Expansive Connection. Will her clients still trust her as a coach? Has this loss made her job more difficult when discussing non-monogamy with her clients? Does she...
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Episode 143: Swinging & Polyamory- Are We More Alike than We Think?
We are joined by Dedeker, Emily and Jase from the Multiamory* podcast to discuss the similarities and differences between the swinging lifestyle and polyamory! We also talk about what exactly New Relationship Energy (NRE) is and how we can recognize and navigate those strong feelings and emotions...
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Episode 142: Catherine's Story- "My Marriage Fell Apart"
This episode gets very real and very personal. Catherine, from Expansive Connection Relationship Coaching, tells her story of how her marriage fell apart while engaged in a non-monogamous relationship with her husband. Many couples fear this type of loss when considering and moving into and…
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Episode 141: What Newbies Need to Know and Veterans Need to Remember
Join us and Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching as we discuss the six most important things those new to the lifestyle need to know and us veterans of the lifestyle need always to remember: Radical Honesty as the Starting Point Shifting Mindsets: From Specialness to Uniqueness Navigating...
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Episode 140: Back in the Swing of Things
None of us are immune from having 'real life' issues disrupt our relationship or our current life plans and goals. Health issues, family responsibilities, career changes and relocations are just a few of the things that we can expect to encounter in life that will change our priorities. After…
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Episode 139: Our Enneagram Coaching Session
In episode 136 Kel, from Expansive Connection Coaching explained all nine Enneagram personality types and motivations. Listen in on this real-time coaching session as Kel reveals the Enneagram results of Mr & Mrs Jones and helps them understand their types and how to better value and understand...
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Episode 138: Describing the Lifestyle- Respectful, Pervy, Cool-Ass People
When we hear the word 'swinger' or 'lifestyle' the first time we may think of key parties, sleezy sex clubs, orgies with strangers and lots of perverted people who will have sex with anyone. With how non-monogamy is portrayed in some movies and television shows it's not surprising that many of us...
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Episode 137: 'The Resort'- A New Concept for Lifestyle Vacationers
Join us as we chat with the founder of a brand new lifestyle vacation spot in Jamaica- 'The Resort.' This upscale venue gives lifestyle travelers an additional and much needed option for a sexy vacation as ethical non-monogamy becomes more mainstream around the world. Visit their website for more...
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Episode 136: The Enneagram- Know Your Number!
Join us as Kel from Expansive Connection explains the Enneagram system which offers numerous benefits for personal and professional development by providing insights into motivations, behaviors, and relationships. It helps individuals understand their core personality type, strengths, weaknesses,...
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Episode 135: Origin Story- Going Deeper with Kurt & Vicki
This 'Origin Story' format episode features our friends Kurt & Vicki and highlights another unique journey into and through non-monogamy. Perhaps their story of working through issues will resonate with those who struggle with things from 'the past' and how previous life experiences can interfere...
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Episode 134: Facing the "What-ifs" Fears of Non-monogamy
Are you considering trying non-monogamy or perhaps learning how to navigate the swinging lifestyle environment? Are you paralyzed by the 'what-ifs?' What if my partner falls in love with someone else? What if I get jealous? What if no one is attracted to me? What if we are outed at swingers? You...
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Episode 133: 10 Attributes of Successful Swingers
So you think you've got what it takes to be 'successful' in the swinging lifestyle? From our 11 years of experience, we share what we believe to be the most important attributes a person or couple must have to fully enjoy all the benefits of non-monogamy. We also announce the official opening of…
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Episode 132: Our Differences Make Us Better
Why do we usually react to the word 'different' as something negative? Our differences can help us to learn more about ourselves which can lead to individual growth as well as strengthen our relationships. Kel from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this episode to help us understand how and...
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Episode 131: Finding Your Tribe in the We Gotta Thing Community
What makes the WGT community unique? We are not a dating site. We are not like a Facebook group. Nor are we similar to a Discord server, a Slack channel, a Zoom meeting or a WhatsApp conversation. What are we then? We are a community full of real people in real relationships who are looking to...
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Episode 130: All About 'Swolly' Relationships
Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to help define that 'squishy' term that is a result of some combination of 'swinging' and 'polyamory.' She then discusses pro's and con's of what to expect when creating your own brand of 'swolly' and then shares tips on how to successfully...
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Episode 129: Taming the Voices Inside My Head
You're awake again at 3:00am. You can't go back to sleep. You calculate how much sleep you'll have if you go back to sleep right now. Then, while staring at the ceiling, a voice inside your head decides to make up a (absolutely truthful and believable) story about a missed opportunity with…
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Episode 128: Enough With the Pineapples! How to Make Connections in the Wild
We are contantly bombarded with lifestyle symbols and the promises they bring of attracting lifestyle couples to us in our day-to-day lives! From upside down pineapples in the grocery store, to black rings on the right ring finger, to white rocks at the end of the driveway, to wearing jewelry…
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Episode 127: Trust- What It Is Not
What is trust not? Trust is not a feeling that someone else creates in us with their actions. Some of us think we can trust people only when they are doing what we want them to do so we don't feel uncomfortable things we don't want to feel. Additionally, trust is not using other people as our...
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Episode 126: The Many Flavors of Jealousy
Fearing or experiencing jealousy is one of the biggest reasons couples either don't try the lifestyle or don't last in the lifestyle. Why is that? It's more complex than we realize! Join us as Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching helps us to understand the many flavors of jealousy to...
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Episode 125: A Live Celebration of 10 Years Podcasting!
Please join us in celebrating 10 years recording the We Gotta Thing podcast! This is a very special episode recorded live with a group of our closest friends at the Desire Pearl resort. We thank all of our listeners and community members for the steadfast support and look forward to recording…
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Episode 124: Handling Rejection in the Lifestyle
Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we dive into the topic of being rejected in the lifestyle. We all experience the negative emotions when rejected by others and Meshai helps us to understand why we feel this way and how to process and respond to these feelings.
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Episode 123: The Many Meanings of 'Connection' in the Lifestyle
Why do we want to connect with others? What are some ways we connect with others? What types of connections may we experience? How do we stay connected? What happens if we become disconnected with others? We explore possible answers to these questions to better prepare ourselves for what we may...
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Episode 122: Non-monogamy Takes Work- How Much Are You Willing to Invest?
Jason from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this month to discuss the 'non-quantifiable' work involved in exploring non-monogamy. Based on our WGT episode 100 in which we discuss the quantifiable work, we now dig in to consider things like being intentional, being present, staying engaged,...
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Episode 121: Origin Stories- Mark and Beth Canuck
Listen in as our friends Mark and Beth share their unique journey into and exploration of non-monogamy! We also review our Virgin Cruise out of Barcelona and discuss our first local lifestyle meet and greet since our big move south.
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Episode 120: The Benefits and Challenges of Non-monogamy with Expansive Connection
Kel from Expansive Connection coaching joins us to discuss some of the benefits and challenges one may encounter when choosing to explore the non-monogamous lifestyle. Kel shares from her perspective of being a certified relationship coach and also from her experience being non-monogamous with…
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Episode 119: The Value of Counseling in the Non-monogamous World
Having experienced counseling ourselves over the past few months, we invite Catherine from Expansive Connection to talk with us about how those in non-monogamous relationships benefit from getting guidance from professionals. Also, we share some exciting news about the future of the We Gotta…
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Episode 118: Desire Riviera Maya and a Life Less Vanilla
Listen in as we review the brand new "The Eden" section of Desire Riviera Maya! We also enlist the help of many of our friends in a live recording from the resort to share how they challenged themselves to become a bit 'less vanilla' during our recent group trip.
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Episode 117: Non-Monogamy is an Adult Activity
Most of us have mastered being 'adult-like' in all aspects of our lives. We are experienced at life. We are parents, spouses/partners, coaches, employees, teachers, leaders and friends. We've become accustomed to situations that require a mature and thoughtful response (most of the time anyway!)....
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Episode 116: How Vulnerability Enhances Your Lifestyle Journey
Being vulnerable is not easy and may not come natural for some, espcially when exploring the lifestyle. We tend to wall off our personal lives because we're worried about people knowing too much about us. We don't want to be known. We're here just to have some sexy fun, right? In this episode we...
About this show
We are a long-time married couple deepening our relationship through the swinging lifestyle . We intend for our podcast to resonate with those having similar life experience and values who are either in or potentially entering the lifestyle. Not a "how to" resource but more of a "what if" resource that generates authentic conversation between couples to help them find their place in the lifestyle. Care to join us?
Hosted by
Mr & Mrs Jones's Swinging Adventures