Episodes
-
07-30-2023 What You Need To Know About Court
The court system is a whole culture unto itself! It has its own language and customs and procedures, and if you do not understand how the system works, that could hurt you in your divorce case. Kris breaks down what questions to ask when hiring an attorney all the way to what to do when in court....
-
07-23-2023 Bad Behavior in Parenting
Have you ever had your parent's voice come flying out of your mouth? Nine times out of ten that happened when you were stressed out, and it was a knee-jerk reaction. What can you do when that happens? Are you aware of all of the bad parenting that your dysfunctional family of origin gave you and...
-
07-16-2023 Healthy Family, Friends, Partners
For many of us that came out of families of origin that were toxic, we truly do not know what healthy looks like. So what behaviors are healthy? What should we be looking for in family, friends, partners, or even co-workers? What does healthy actually look like? In this episode of We Need To Talk...
-
07-09-2023 A Case of Nerves
When a person comes out of an abusive relationship, they almost inevitably have anxiety. When a person is stressed out and at survival the amygdala enlarges and the anxiety increases. The good news is that with mindfulness, the amygdala shrinks. In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris…
more -
07-02-2023 When People Do Nothing
Have you ever wondered why the other parent did not protect you? Have you wondered why people just allow abuse to occur? What gets in the way of people acting to protect? These and many more questions will be answered in this weeks episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez discussing When…
more -
06-25-2023 Dependent Personality
Have you ever wondered why some people just cannot make a decision without asking everyone and anyone? What causes a person not to trust their own judgment? Have you ever met someone who just wanted to be taken care of to the point of clinginess? That would be someone with a dependent…
more -
06-18-2023 Why Smear?
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the smear campaign, why they do it, how it "benefits" them, and who believes it. When a breakup with an abuser happens, have you ever wondered why they suddenly go on a rampage trying to discredit their former target of abuse?...
-
06-11-2023 Our Relationship With Food
Did you know that most survivors of abuse, either by the family of origin or by a significant other, have eating disorders or issues with food? Yeah! Yet another lovely side effect of abuse. Survivors of abuse are more likely to have anorexia, bulimia, binge/purge, or overeating issues. How to…
more -
06-04-2023 Why They Crush Dreams
Have you ever had someone either pooh, poo, or dismiss or actively destroy your dreams? Have you ever wondered what would possess someone to do such a heinous thing? What drives an abuser to stop their target of abuse from reaching their potential or from doing what they love? Well, wonder no…
more -
Throwback Thursday: 12-05-2021 Dissociation, Unreality, and Avoidance
This week on We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about the trauma response of dissociation and unreality and pretty much normalizes that response for survivors of trauma. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
Throwback Thursday: 12-12-2021 How To Stand Up For Yourself
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez Kris talks about standing up for your self to your narcissistic boss, disrespectful doctors and standing up to anyone else who is being a jackwagon! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
05-14-2023 Anything You Say WILL Be Used Against You!
When we have been unjustly accused of doing things we didn't do, the desire to clear the air is strong. Now, if you were dealing with healthy people, clearing the air would be the right thing to do. You aren't dealing with healthy people. Narcissists, Dark Triads, and the like LOVE to accuse the...
-
Throwback Thursday: 10-03-2021 DEPENDENT VS CODEPENDENT
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the difference between Dependent Personality Disorder and Codependency. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
04-30-2023 Movies TV shows that send the wrong message
So many of us have read romance novels or watched tv shows and movies, especially rom-coms, that send the wrong message. Messages like "You CAN change them!" "Stockholm syndrome is okay and will end well!" "Treat the partner like crap; they will love you more!" "Lose who you are in order to…
more -
04-23-2023 Write It Out
CBT works with mistaken thoughts and mistaken beliefs. One way to process said mistaken thoughts and beliefs is to JOURNAL! You probably didn't like that suggestion and you are probably wondering why I and so many therapists recommend it. Well, it all has to do with the amygdala. Journaling,...
-
04-16-2023 All The Lies
Have you ever wondered why abusers seem to lie all the time, about, well, everything? I'm sure you've heard the term "pathological" liar. Did you know that personality-disordered abusers lie upwards of 20 plus times a day, compared to non-personality-disordered people? Did you know that they KNOW...
-
04-09-2023 Games They Play i.e., Hurting Themselves
Do abusers use the "self-harm" card to control and manipulate? How do you tell the difference between a real self-harm threat and one that is about manipulation? Do you have a working knowledge of the way abusers use verbal abuse and derail discussions about their behavior? Did you know that...
-
04-02-2023 Examples of Control
What is coercive control? How do abusers make their targets do what they want them to do? Did you know that trauma bonding using intermittent positive reward is coercive control? Gaslighting and hoovering, isolating the target, and controlling what the target wears or eats are all examples of...
-
03-26-2023 Chaos and Drama
Have you ever noticed some people either create chaos and drama or chaos and drama seems to follow them where ever they go? Have you also noticed that as much as they claim not to like chaos and drama, they still seem to be at the center of said chaos and drama? Red flag alert! You are dealing…
more -
03-19-2023 When Mothers are NOT Moms
What is the definition of a toxic mother? What causes women to turn on their own children? What does that kind of physical/verbal/emotional abuse do to a child, and how does that affect adult children of toxic mothers? Toxic mothers can present one way to the "public" and completely different...
-
03-12-2023 How to Deal With Siblings
Dysfunctional family members are hard to deal with, and it is especially hard if that or those family members are your siblings. Siblings in healthy families are our first friends. In toxic families, dysfunctional families, they are often our first bullies or our worst enemies. Dysfunctional...
-
03-05-2023 Office Shenanigans
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about disordered corporations, office bullies, cliques, backstabbers, screamers, and schemers and how you can either avoid working for a corporation like that altogether or have coping skills to deal with them. We've all been there,...
-
02-26-2023 The Ultimate Control
Why are dark triads so damn dangerous, vindictive, and violent? What is psychopathy? What makes them decide to kill themselves or others? In the first half of the show, Kris talks about what is a dark triad which is narcissism, psychopathy, and control, and what motivates them to the acts of...
-
02-19-2023 Age Is Just A Number
In this week's episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses ageism in abuse, why they dump their partners for younger and younger models, and why they are so terrified of aging. Have you ever wondered why disordered people delight in telling you that you CAN'T do the very thing…
more -
02-12-2023 B. E. T. R. A. Y. A. L
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris addresses the pain of betrayal trauma and how to effectively cope with the pain and the desire for revenge. Kris also discusses how the trauma may be affecting current and future relationships. In the second half of the show, Kris answers...
-
02-05-2023 Special Guest Marcia Diane
Today on We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez, Kris talks with special guest Marcia Diane about spirituality, karma and answers listener questions! Have you ever wondered about the role of spirituality in your recovery from abuse? Marcia Diane, and Kris discuss spirituality, karma, and energy in the...
-
01-29-2023 The Hoover (Why we get pulled back in)
In this episode of We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez, Kris talks about how we get pulled back into an abusive relationship, what a hoover is, and how not to fall for one! Have you ever wondered why a person who dumped you so brutally would ever try to contact you again? Or what type of abuser…
more -
01-22-2023 Down in the Dumps
On this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris Discusses situational vs. clinical depression, what to expect when leaving abuse and how to help mitigate the blues. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
01-15-2023 The Role of Gratitude
In This episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the role gratitude takes in healing from abuse. Kris also discusses the murders in Idaho. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
01-08-2023 No Couples Counseling Bad Therapists
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses why it is dangerous to go to couples counseling with an abuser and what to look for if you feel your counselor is bad. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
09-26-2021 - PLAYING KEEPAWAY IN DIVORCE
In this episode of "We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez" Kris discusses parental alienation, the hows and why's of parental alienation and how that effects the kids, both the little kids and grown adult children. Why would a parent do such a thing? More importantly, how can you help your child if…
more -
From 10-31-2021: EX IN LAWS, SIBLINGS, FAMILY HOLIDAY HOOVERS
In This Throwback Thursday episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses how to deal with the hoover season, guilt-tripping, and in-laws, ex-laws, and siblings oh my!! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
12-18-2022 Contrast and Compare Alcoholism vs NPD
In this week's episode of We Need to Talk with Kris Godinez, Kris talks about the similarities and differences between addiction and personality disorders. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
12-11-2022 Healing Attachment
In this episode of We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez, Kris talks about healing from attachment wounds, and how the parents either actively abused or neglected you as an infant and child. And yes, you CAN heal attachments! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
12-04-2022 Medical Events, Stuff and Things
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses medical trauma and how to cope with that, along with how to handle arrogant and/or narcissistic medical staff. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
11-27-2022 You ARE Your Own Hero
In This episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about how there is no one outside of YOU that is truly going to save you. You are, in fact, your own hero, and things you can do to help yourself! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
11-20-2022 Surviving the Holidaze
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses strategies for dealing with toxic family during the holidays. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
11-15-2022 Holier Than Thou
In This Episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the communal Narcissist. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
11-06-2022 Its Complicated and Complex
In this episode of "We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez" Kris talks about grief and PTSD. Why one is complicated, and the other is complex! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
10-30-2022 You Are Not the UN. Stop Peace Keeping.
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses how "Peace Keeping" is not only a co-dependent response, it is, in fact, a trauma response! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
10-23-2022 Over Sharing!
In this episode of We Need to Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about why survivors of abuse overshare and why oversharing can be detrimental. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
10-16-2022 Mindfulness Get Out Of Your Story
In this episode of We Need To Tall With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about being mindful of what you say and what you think and not believing everything you think! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website here.
-
10-09-2022 Managing Your Time
On this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about time management and why survivors of abuse universally struggle with time. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
11-14-2021 When The Parent Is The Enabler
It's throwback Thursday, and we've got an episode from the archives for you from November 2021. In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about when a parent is the enabler to the abuser, why they do it, what to do and how to heal after getting away. The full transcript of...
-
11-21-2021 Friend Frienemy Or Foe
It's throwback Thursday, and we've got an episode from the archives for you from November 2021. In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses what true friends are and how they behave, how frienemies behave and how foes behave and how to let them go! The full transcript of...
-
09-18-2022 Procrastination
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses why we procrastinate, what purpose it serves and how to break the habit of putting things off. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
09-11-2022 Adult Kid Drama and Collapse
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about what to do if the adult child is the one causing drama in the family, what narcissistic collapse looks like, and why not to fall for it! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
09-04-2022 Adult Kids and Family Drama
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses how to help your adult kids navigate family drama. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
08-28-2022 Power and Control
In this week's episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses how abusers are all about power and control and how to take back your own power!! The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
-
08-21-2022 Why Aren't I Over Them?
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about why a breakup with an abuser lingers, how we get through complicated grief and how to help yourself heal. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
About this show
Welcome to the We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez podcast. I'm your host Kris Godinez, a licensed professional counselor. I help people get out of and stay out of, toxic relationships.
Hosted by
Kris Godinez
Categories