When the Rose Coloured Glasses Come Off
by Sonya
Dealing with a narcissist can be shattering to ones sense of identity, self-worth and self-confidence. Heck, not even knowing who you are. As a therapist, I've been working with narcissistic abuse survivors for over 6 years. As a trained registered social worker, I have seen first hand the harm, confusion and devastation that my clients experience. I graduated with two degrees and was out to save the world. Little did I realize that I had lived through my own traumas but thinking that everything I experienced was "normal" only to one day wake up and see that it was not. The rose-coloured glasses came off like a shattering glass. What I knew to be true was gone. Grief and loss set in, then the healing journey. Now I help my clients to awaken, grieve, understand and make choices one step at a time, to develop their identities, get in touch with their red flag indicator, that always knew something was wrong, and guide them through whatever small steps they can take to reclaim the
Episodes
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Gaslighting After the Relationship Ends
You've left the relationship. The contact has stopped. And yet the self-doubt is still there. You replay conversations. You wonder if it was really that bad. You feel guilty for leaving, even when you know it was the right thing to do. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Gaslighting...
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People Pleasing Is A Trauma Response
In this episode of Healing as an Educated Empath, we explore people-pleasing through a trauma-informed lens. Rather than seeing it as weakness, a personality flaw, or simply a need for approval, this episode reframes people-pleasing as a nervous-system response rooted in safety, survival, and…
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Part 4 - The Empath-Narcissist Dynamic Explained
This episode is for you if you've ever found yourself caught in a relationship that felt magnetic, confusing, painful, and almost impossible to leave. Through the lens of trauma, nervous system conditioning, and self-trust, you'll begin to understand why the empath–narcissist dynamic can pull you...
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Part 3: Compassion is Not Responsibility - Healing as an Educated Empath Series
In this episode of Compassion is not Responsibility - Series on Healing as an Educated Empath, we explore why so many empaths, trauma survivors, and people recovering from narcissistic abuse feel responsible for other people's emotions. Learn how trauma responses like fawning, emotional labor…
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Part 2: Healing as an Educated Empath Series - Not Everything You Feel Is Yours
In this episode, we unpack a surprising truth: not every emotion you feel is actually yours. Drawing on research about emotional contagion, nervous system activation, and interoception, this conversation explores why highly empathic people can absorb the moods, stress, and tension around them so...
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Why I Chose Silence Instead of Content
Let me explain. Wait, I don't mean that I did anything wrong. I want to share some of the struggles that can take us off track sometimes. And that's OK. Thanks for the patience..... but I'm back!
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You're Not Broken: Empathy After Narcissistic Abuse
Healing as an Educated Empath — Season 4 If you've ever wondered why a relationship shattered you while others seemed to walk away untouched… or if you've been told you're too sensitive, too emotional, or even crazy — this episode is for you. In the opening episode of Season 4, we start where...
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How Healing Rewires Attraction for Empaths After Toxic Relationships
What changes when an empath truly heals? In this episode, we explore how healing reshapes attraction, dating patterns, and relationship choices—especially for empaths who have experienced emotional or narcissistic abuse. You'll learn why healed empaths no longer rush into love, why intense...
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The Loudest Abuse is Silence Part 1-3
The Loudest Abuse Is Silence is a three‑part exploration of one of the most misunderstood forms of emotional harm: the silent treatment. Often dismissed as "needing space" or "avoiding conflict," silence can become a powerful tool of control—one that destabilizes the nervous system, erodes...
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The Invisible Beliefs Running the Show
In this episode, we explore why emotionally intelligent, empathetic people so often find themselves drawn into narcissistic or emotionally draining relationships. You'll learn how invisible, programmed beliefs—formed early as emotional survival strategies—quietly shape attraction, boundaries, and...
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Perfectionism - When Survival Looks Like Being Flawless
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as ambition or high standards—but for many people, it began as a way to survive. In this episode, we explore how perfectionism can form in response to emotional abuse, neglect, chronic criticism, or environments where love and safety were conditional. When...
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The Charismatic Toxic Person: 9 Red Flags You Can't Ignore
Have you ever met someone so charming, magnetic, and seemingly perfect, only to feel drained, confused, and questioning your own sanity after spending time with them? In this eye-opening episode, we pull back the curtain on the "Charismatic Toxic Person" – individuals who don't announce their...
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Silent Departure: Safety and Support When Leaving Narcissistic Abuse
Leaving a relationship is never simple, but ending a partnership with a narcissist is a profound act of survival. It requires strategy, silence, and immense courage. In this episode, therapist and survivor Sonya Gandhi navigates the highly sensitive and dangerous maze of exiting a narcissistic...
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The Hidden Trigger: Stopping Reactive Abuse Before it Starts
Have you ever lashed out at a partner or loved one in a way that felt completely out of character—mean, aggressive, or explosive—only to feel immense guilt afterward? You aren't "crazy," and you might not be the problem. In this episode, we dive deep into the often-misunderstood concept of…
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Healing the People Pleaser – My Story of Growth and Boundaries
This is part of my story. How I was and still am a people pleaser - but with some adjustments! Being people pleaser can be a way we get our needs met, how we stay safe and connected to people, but it can also deplete us and create internal resent. I share part of my healing journey and found ways...
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Not Crazy - Manipulated: 7 Gaslighting Tactics Exposed
This episode delves into the pervasive yet often invisible world of gaslighting. While frequently mentioned in casual conversation, many don't fully grasp its insidious nature, especially within intimate relationships. Gaslighting is presented as a dangerous form of psychological abuse,...
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It's Not You, It's the Poke: Understanding Reactive Abuse and How to Stop Taking the Bait
Have you ever felt pushed, poked, and provoked until you finally exploded, only to be told you're "the problem"? In this crucial episode, we expose the silent manipulation known as Reactive Abuse. We validate your experience: you are not crazy, unstable, or toxic for reacting to constant…
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The Third Wheel from Hell: How to Spot and Stop Triangulation
In this episode, we expose one of the most insidious tactics used by narcissists to maintain control: Triangulation. If you've ever felt like your relationship is a constant competition, or if your partner frequently compares you to an ex, a "flirty" coworker, or an overbearing family member, you...
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The Unhealed Empath vs. the Recovering Empath
In this powerful episode, "The Recovering Empath Compared to an Unhealed Empath," we explore a profound transformation many of you are experiencing: the evolution into a Recovering Empath. This isn't about shutting down your empathy, but about evolving your humanity. We'll dive deep into the...
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Your Nervous System is Lying to You: The Chemistry of Toxic Love
You usually hear the victim's story of heartbreak and confusion. Today, you're going to hear the other side: the blueprint the narcissist used to trap you. In "The Architect's Blueprint," we explore how a trauma bond is not an accident, but a calculated psychological game. I'll walk through the...
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Control, Criticism and Confusion: Part 2 Decoding Narcissism
It starts with a backhanded compliment. Then, a guilt trip when you see your friends. Suddenly, everything is your fault, and they are never wrong. If this sounds familiar, you might be seeing the early patterns of narcissistic abuse. In today's episode, we're taking the blinders off. We are...
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The Empath's Awakening: Recognizing Narcissistic Patterns
In this deeply personal and insightful episode, join me as I circle back to the heart of understanding narcissism – but this time, from a different angle. If you've ever felt constantly drained, questioned your own sanity, or found yourself walking on eggshells, this episode is for you. I share...
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The Narcissist's Playbook: Unlocking Why You Felt Stuck
Have you ever asked yourself, 'Why did I stay so long?' or 'Why do I keep attracting these toxic patterns?' In this powerful episode, join Sonya Gandhi as she pulls back the curtain on the invisible chains of narcissistic abuse. We'll explore eight profound reasons why it's tough to leave these...
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Trauma Bonds: Why the worst relationships feel addictive
Discover the hidden psychology behind why you stayed: This video explores Trauma Bonding, the intense emotional connection that forms in abusive relationships. We'll uncover the 7 sneaky stages, from love bombing to resignation, and explain the 5 key characteristics (like intermittent…
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The Self-Worth Abyss: Escaping the Trap of Toxic Relationships
Do you know you're a good person... but struggle to treat yourself that way? Does doing good for others feel easier than acknowledging your own worth? This week, we're diving deep into what self-worth truly means—and how it impacts your relationships. Discover why a strong sense of self-worth is...
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When The Narcissist Finds Out You Know: What they Do Next
If the Narcissist knows you know.... well get ready to ride the rollercoaster. Living with a narcissist is hard enough because they are so unpredictable. But if they feel even more threatened than usual - that their mask will be ripped off then they will pull out all the big guns to suck you back...
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Are you trapped in Narcissistic Chaos - recognize the signs
How do we know we are in a toxic relationship? Let's peel back the layers to understand some of the signs that the relationship we are in might be controlling. Narcissists are cunning and very focused on their outcome: supply. You have become the target. Awareness is the first step to…
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Uncovering the Truth About Narcissists: What your Therapist might not tell You
Are you tired of feeling confused and frustrated by your therapist's advice on dealing with narcissists? You're not alone. Many therapists lack the expertise or courage to reveal the harsh truths about narcissistic personality disorder. In this video, we'll discuss what your therapist isn't…
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9 Reasons We Stay in Toxic Relationships
Have you ever wondered why people stay in toxic relationships despite the emotional abuse and manipulation they suffer? In this podcast, we'll explore the 9 reasons why individuals tend to stay in abusive relationships, often sacrificing their mental health and well-being. From the signs of...
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10 Reasons We Get into Toxic Relationships
The reasons we stay are so complicated. Do you find yourself stuck in a cycle of toxic relationships, wondering why you can't seem to break free? In this video, we're exploring the 10 reasons we get into toxic relationships in the first place. From the allure of narcissistic partners who shower…
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Boundaries - Do you have them or know what they are? Part 1
Have you ever been asked what your boundaries are? Well don't be worried if you don't know what they are. When we have been raised in narcissistic households and/or living with a narcissist boundaries are just not tolerated, often breeched and deemed non-existent. So we actually can't articulate...
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4 Stages of Grieving the End of a Narcissistic Relationship
We're going to pull apart grief which is a subject that's incredibly important for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Understanding the types of grief you go through after breaking up with a narcissist can help put into context why it's so much worse than the ending of a relatively healthy...
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Navigating Relationships Post-Divorce
Join Sonya and Anita as they discuss how to navigate relationships after leaving a narcissist
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Navigating through Divorce with a Narcissist
Join Sonya and Anita as they discuss how to navigate through divorce with a narcissist
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Growing up with Narcissism and the Adult Outcomes
Join Sonia and Anita as they discuss what it was like growing up with a narcissistic parent and how it affected their adult lives.
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"Childhood Rules I Didn't Know I Was Following" - Interview with Tina (Client)
Join Sonia as she speaks with one of her clients who has experienced narcissistic abuse in various relationships in her life.
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After the Narcissist Dies - Grieving but not Loss
Join Sonia as she speaks with one of her clients who has experienced narcissistic abuse in her relationship.
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Attachment, Trauma and Toxic Relationships
In this episode, we delve into the fascinating world of attachment theory, a concept that shapes how we connect with others from infancy through adulthood. Discover how psychologist John Bowlby's groundbreaking work on emotional bonds and Mary Ainsworth's research on attachment styles influence…
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Understanding our Baggage
Today, we delve into the art of letting go, from material possessions to emotional baggage, paving the way for a more fulfilling life. We unravel the intricacies of trauma, from acute incidents to chronic patterns, understanding its profound impact on our identities and relationships. Through...
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Introduction
In this episode, we delve into the power of letting go of past pains and attachments. From childhood memories to material possessions, we explore how these attachments shape our lives and hinder our growth. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we uncover the importance of decluttering our...
About this show
Dealing with a narcissist can be shattering to ones sense of identity, self-worth and self-confidence. Heck, not even knowing who you are. As a therapist, I've been working with narcissistic abuse survivors for over 6 years. As a trained registered social worker, I have seen first hand the harm, confusion and devastation that my clients experience. I graduated with two degrees and was out to save the world. Little did I realize that I had lived through my own traumas but thinking that everything I experienced was "normal" only to one day wake up and see that it was not. The rose-coloured glasses came off like a shattering glass. What I knew to be true was gone. Grief and loss set in, then the healing journey. Now I help my clients to awaken, grieve, understand and make choices one step at a time, to develop their identities, get in touch with their red flag indicator, that always knew something was wrong, and guide them through whatever small steps they can take to reclaim the
Hosted by
Sonya