Who Cares? with Dan Hettinger
by Who Cares Podcast
Your care matters. People feel better when they know that you care about them—especially in the hard times. So, “Who cares? Well we all care about people and things to some extent. But in this podcast, we are here to search for answers to the question, “How can we care better?”
Episodes
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Episode 59 - Sending Your Child to School Sometimes Feels Like Sending Your Child to a Warzone
This mom is also an educator. As she was helping a student with a behavioral problem as part of her job at school, her cell phone rang. With uncontrollable emotions and sobbing, her daughter called from a different school, “There is a shooting in our school. Something awful is going on.” Our...
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Episode 58 - Essential #1 - A Nature to Care - What's in Your Bucket?
In our study to care with actions that make a difference we begin with our nature. This is our source and capacity to care. If we have a nature that has not been changed by God, all kinds of disfunction pour out of us. I make this point with the metaphor of your life being a bucket. Whatever your...
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Episode 57 - Do You Want to Make a Difference in Someone's Life?
When we boil it all down, most of us want to know our life has made a difference in someone else’s life. That’s worth thinking about and considering how that desire fits into God’s plan and design for our lives. Then we are set on a course for our best life.
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Episode 55 - 25 Years Later - Lauren Tells Her Story as a Student that Day, and Living With the Memory
Our world changed on April 20, 1999. I remember where I was standing when I first heard there was an active shooter in a High School in Littleton, Colorado. In this episode I talk to Lauren who was a student at Columbine that day. Just before the shooting began, she was on the payphone trying to...
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Episode 54 - Sam Uses Her Incomplete Story When He Processes His Grief from Losing His Younger Sister
This method is not for everybody, but since each person’s grief is unique to their personality, faith, relationship and situation, Sam’s experience is not only valid, it is interesting. He and Mary were story tellers and writers in the happy and healthy days and that gift helped Sam see this...
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Episode 53 - Sam Was Strong for His Dying Sister, but Maybe He Should Have Shared More
Sam’s sister got a very rare form of cancer at age 19. Journeying through symptoms, diagnosis, illness and her death took Sam into events and emotions that a 21 year old is simply not prepared for. It seemed right to be strong for her. He tried to be strong and cover his fear and sadness. She was...
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Episode 52 - This Woman Gave Up Her Career to Take Care of Her Dad
“It was the right thing to do,” Stephanie says. “But yes, I have regrets.” Caring for people often is inconvenient and even more, sacrificial. Dramatic needs require changes that no one plans for or wants. But what else should we do. In Stephanie’s new life, her view of life experiences and faith...
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Episode 51 - When Care Ministry Wounds
Hurt people, hurt people. We care for hurt people. It is a sad reality that sometimes a relationship blows up or a care receiver does and they say something very hurtful. Those times can wound and wounds must be cared for. Now, as a regular feature on our podcast, Darrel Chaney tells about a Big...
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Episode 50 - Sometimes Helping Others is the Best Therapy
Marilyn Starzer is back. This time she shares more about how her plans for the future changed when her husband had a stroke. She was angry about some of those changes too. There were places they wanted to visit but did not get to and things they needed to do, but had to get help. But when she…
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Episode 49 - Heroes - They Are in Care Ministry Too
Heroes are important. We all need them. Do you have a Care Ministry Hero? Someone who showed the way or provided care in an unforgettable way? Maybe you are a hero to someone else. It is a good idea to look for an aspiring young person who wants to help people. Darrel Chaney is back to talk about...
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Episode 48 - Everyone Has A Dream
Everyone has a dream for what they want their life to be. But life is hard on dreams so people sometimes discount that dream as a childhood fantasy. Other times the routine, demands or problems of life just drown out the memory until we only live a frustrating existence. When we are caring for...
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Episode 47 - The Return On the Investment of Care Ministry
For a brief few minutes I was tempted with the thought my visits were not very important. They certainly were not very exciting for me nor glamourous. But I did enjoy them and quickly savored the pleasure of the fellowship of three elderly people and the feeling of God’s favor. When we try to...
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Episode 46 - Pray 52
It was an amazing result, both in scope and time, when Nehemiah and the exiles returning to Jerusalem, rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem in 52 days. Is there a secret rhythm here? There are some interesting facts that remain hidden to most people. As I have allowed this rhythm to work in my life, I...
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Episode 45 - When You Have No Choice
A stroke is to the brain, what a heart attack is to the heart. It can happen suddenly and produce results that are life altering. Marilyn tells how her life changed when her husband had a stroke. This active couple, living in Alaska, had plans for retirement. That all changed when Marilyn became…
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Episode 43 - The Grief of a Miscarriage and Infertility - while We Celebrate a Baby at Christmas
Miscarriage and infertility bring grief to the mother who never gets to know the child she was carrying and the couple whose dreams of a family remain out of reach. The heaviness is even worse at Christmas time when we celebrate the birth of a child and enjoy the excitement that children bring to...
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Episode 42 - What You Do Matters - with Darrel Chaney
How much does your care matter? Probably more than you think it does. I have invited a former Big League baseball player to the podcast. Darrel Chaney played on the Cincinnati Reds during the amazing Big Red Machine era. He played in three World Series and four National League Championship Series...
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Episode 41 - Confident of This
There is nothing like going through hard times to make someone lose their confidence. But, when we care effectively for people, they are able to keep and even build their confidence. More than self-confidence, it is confident faith in God’s complete work, from beginning through the end. In this...
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Episode 40 - Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Hard topics and difficult emotions do not need to be feared. Most of us prefer the positive and avoid the dark. We are afraid that if we go there, we will never get out or the pain will be overwhelming, and we won’t be able to handle it. That has been a mistake I have made for much of my life and...
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Episode 39 - His First Memory is a Tragedy
How resilient are children really? Today’s guest talks about his first memory, the death of his 6 years old sister in the bedroom they shared. William Knox Scarbrough, aka Billy, is an adult, now living in South Africa with his wife and two grown children. He has enjoyed success in building sets...
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Episode 38 - w/ Jim Gilbert - Faith and PTSD When We are Remembering Veterans
Good guys get PTSD and faith helps. People enlist for military service because they want to do something meaningful. Then they experience terrible things that go against everything they value. The wounds are invisible but can be debilitating and life changing as a warrior’s physical injuries.…
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Episode 37 - Offering a Blue Christmas Service to Your Community
I am thankful for this opportunity to talk about a Blue Christmas service and give you a sample of the content. Our world is in turmoil, fear and sadness. The Christ Child was born into such times and for our needs. For many who are grieving and feeling the pain of our world, this is the perfect...
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Episode 36 - When Your Famous Sister has Cancer
Her stage name was Nightbirde when she appeared on America’s Got Talent. She got the golden buzzer from Simon Cowell, but unfortunately, she had a recurrence of breast cancer and had to withdraw from the competition. She and her brother Mitch were really close, and he gives us a peek into their...
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Episode 35 - When Do You Know That It’s a Problem?
Don is a recovering alcoholic. When he was a teenager, he drank at parties because he wanted to fit it. But he couldn’t handle it and years later it was ruining his life. He could have died; his body was in such bad shape. He lost everything and served time in prison for mistakes he made. In jail...
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Episode 34 - Making a Difference in Someone's Life
Everyone wants to know they’ve made a difference in someone's life. We accomplish a lot of things, but this is the one thing that matters most. The way we care for people assures us that we do make a difference. In this episode Susan and I discover the moments when we felt we were making a...
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Episode 33 - Why Didn't I Know this Before?
It took decades to learn the skills that made everything else work better. Why didn’t I know that way of caring before? The reasons I didn’t know them affect others too. Other areas of theology, preaching/teaching and leadership got priority. Sadly, the skills that would have made all those…
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Episode 32 - You Need to Get Ready to Be Ready to Care for People
Care doesn’t just happen. It is not an accident. Care that makes a difference comes from people who practice the 7th Essential of Care Ministry, Being Ready. I share an insight from Henry Nouwen. “Are we pins and needles or do we have a comfortable room in our life for people to find God’s love?”...
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Episode 31 - The Spiritual Battle in Grief
“Satan is tempting us to believe God was absent at the time of our loss and in the time of our grieving.” That’s what Karen Schoenhals said on this episode when she shares more of her grief journey and expertise on grieving. But the opposite is true. God is near to the brokenhearted and the…
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Episode 30 - This Medical and Psychiatric Professional Learned About Grief the Hard Way
Karen Schoenhals has been an inspiration and teacher to me. Her wisdom related to grief and grieving is unsurpassed both as a highly trained Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and as a person with her own grief journey. One day, when she thought two little boys should not be laughing, she knew her...
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Episode 29 - Why is Listening So Difficult Yet So Important?
Caring hinges on how well we listen. We can’t blow it here! The answers to why it is difficult and why it is important are closely connected. Listening is difficult because it is hard for us to get out of the way. We tend to feel the need to be the center of attention and to get our point across....
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Episode 28 - Arriving at the Goal of Grieving + a Plug for Griefshare
Jason Mueller is back. Five years after the loss of his son to murder, Jason has found reward in and passion for helping others travel the grief and loss journey. Most people don’t realize there is a goal for grieving. It is a journey with a destination and, while grief never goes away, it does...
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Episode 27 - Can You See the Caring Opportunities God is Giving You?
Rob McPherson is back on the podcast to discuss what we should be looking for to expand lives and grow our ministries. Instead of trying to increase our numbers in the crowd, look for individuals you can care for. Better than something else for you to do, they are opportunities God is…
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Episode 26 - Hard Theological Questions Come with Suffering and Grief
Caring for the grieving and suffering exposes an incomplete or shallow theology. It sure did mine! I meant well, but I thought the “Good News” of the Gospel meant a perpetual good mood, victory and happy endings to every story. That is not reality and it is terribly disappointing. An accurate...
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Episode 25 - The Heavy Feeling
Do you get a heavy feeling when you are caring for people who are suffering? How do you think God feels about the suffering and wrong in this world? How do you think we should feel about it? I have been having many episodes of a darker, melancholy mood. In this episode of the podcast I discuss…
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Episode 24 - PTSD Requires Intense Support. Should We Be More Intense with Our Care?
My conversation with Anthony was intense. Anthony is a combat veteran who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. He lost friends in battle and on this side to suicide. He helped me see what Vets really want and need, how little we really understand why they are different when they return from battle and...
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Episode 23 - Heavy Lifting
Joe Hess came to this week’s conversation with raw emotions from his father’s recent death and the call, earlier the same day, to support a family who just lost their adult child to suicide. But, even though the circumstances were difficult and the intense emotions were sad and dark, there was…
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Episode 22 - Everyday is Memorial Day for Many
This week Dan takes time to explain why Memorial Day is special to him, and how we can remember, on this sacred holiday, those who paid the ultimate price. He shares the names of the men on his Dad’s B-17, Lassie Come Home, who were on that fatal mission, where four survived and six perished.
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Episode 21 - Food - The Universal Language of Care
A meal is always a welcome expression of care. It meets a need that comes up at least three times a day. When it tastes good it brings pleasure to the day and when it is enjoyed with others it provides life-building fellowship. In my conversation with Marquise Merriweather, you will hear of meals...
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Episode 20 - Include the Disabled - Your Life and Ministry Will Grow
Often we “exclude” people, who would like to be involved, from our churches. Autism, dementia and other disabilities should not mean people do not fit into ministries. Including them requires intentional effort but not as much as you would think, and the benefits extend to everyone in all of...
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Episode 19 - Getting to the Goal of Grieving Through the Process of Grief
Where does the grief journey lead? Are there stages that everyone experiences? How do we move forward without forgetting our loved ones? While everyone’s grief journey is personal and unique, there is a process most of us experience. These stages were identified by the late British Psychologist,...
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Episode 18 - The Invisible and Immeasurable Nature of Care Ministry
It is hard to understand the value of Care Ministry because you cannot measure your return on investment and usually, it takes place one on one, behind the scenes, in the uncomfortable place where a need emerges. In this episode a Care Pastor has come to terms with that in his own soul and serves...
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Episode 17 - The Three Big Lessons that Turned My Ministry (and life) Around
The picture of my calling was coming into focus. Every life matters, each death is sacred and grief is the most common human experience became defining applications for God’s love and my role in serving Him. Mark Brewer asked me to preach for him on my Main Lessons as A Hospice Chaplain. That...
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Episode 16 - There is Hope Living with Grief - with Susan Hettinger
Susan’s mother has been gone for 37 years, yet Susan still misses her. Her mother was a wonderful example of being a wife. She was full of wisdom and ideas on raising children, and she was a ready and reliable encourager to Susan. So, when Susan was only 29 and her mother was diagnosed and died...
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Episode 15 - Mental Health Resources for All of Us
We can do something about the Mental Health crisis that is affecting our culture. I don’t mean to oversimplify a complex problem. Professional help is often required, but not always and. Even when it is, peer support can help it work better. In this episode I have a conversation with Kimberly...
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Episode 14 - Hospice: Living and Making the Most of the End
His condition deteriorated sooner than they expected. It seemed like all at once the question of Hospice came up. Even though it came quickly, this wife sees the value in choosing Hospice care sooner. Within her story there is advice of how to make that decision. It is about living and making the...
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Episode 13 - Decide, Feel, Express
This “Who Cares?” episode contains advice, hope and celebration for anyone suffering from profound grief and disappointment. In an incredibly articulate account an expectant mother tells of the day her world was rocked with the news that her baby had profound birth defects. She describes the...
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Episode 12 - The Other Chair
Jason fell to his knees when he heard that his nineteen year old son had been shot to death. That began Jason’s, sometimes unbearable, journey of grief. As he tells his story, we also learn about grief and grieving, the importance of talking and the Ministry of the Other Chair.
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Episode 11 - Living with an Addict
In this episode a dad shares very openly how much his son’s addiction tormented the whole family. We hear a lot about addiction, but understanding what people actually go through equips us to care for them make a difference in our culture. And, if there is an addiction in your family, this…
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Episode 10 - Listening to the Trauma
Jim Gilbert is a businessman and former military, and has a heart for those dealing with PTSD. From comrades to his father-in-law he has helped soldiers returning from war deal with their PTSD through one thing... listening. Sometimes that is all we are able to offer, but it is the help most…
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Episode 9 - Looking from the Rooftops
Rob McPherson works a demanding job in the professional world of Real Estate compliance, and at the same time has dedicated his life to providing 1-1 care for people in the church as a Care Pastor. In this conversation he uses the imagery as “A View from the Rooftop” as he scans the world below…
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Episode 8 - Some People Are Made to Care
Everybody needs to care for other people and everybody needs to learn to care effectively. But why do some people look for opportunities to care? Why do they allow their own tragedies become building blocks to living a life of compassion for others? From the time she was a child, this woman was...
About this show
Your care matters. People feel better when they know that you care about them—especially in the hard times. So, “Who cares? Well we all care about people and things to some extent. But in this podcast, we are here to search for answers to the question, “How can we care better?”
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