You Can Be Both

Can you be transgender AND Christian? I'm answering this question directly — and what I learned completely changed my heart.In this episode, I talk about Neeza Powers, a trans Christian woman who faced thousands of hateful comments for being her authentic self. I break down what the Bible actually says about gender, explore Deuteronomy 22:5 in context, and explain why Jesus' ministry was focused on outcasts — not the religiously "perfect."WHAT WE TALK ABOUT:✅ Neeza Powers' story — Trans Christian attacked online for being her authentic self✅ Deuteronomy 22:5 debunked — What this verse ACTUALLY meant in historical context✅ Why Christians cherry-pick Bible verses about gender but ignore others✅ Intersex people & brain science — Gender isn't as binary as we think✅ Jesus' ministry focused on outcasts — Not the religiously "perfect"✅ How my heart changed after talking to trans Christians✅ A call to love, not judgeIf you've ever wondered whether being trans conflicts with faith, or if you're a Christian trying to understand the LGBTQ+ community better, this is for you.📖 FREE LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothIncludes my full testimony + every book, podcast, and resource that helped me reconcile my faith and identity.🎵 My Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube📱 Follow me:@lanzaretta @youcanbebothpodcast#TransChristian #LGBTQFaith #ChristianLove #YouCanBeBoth #TransRights #ProgressiveChristianity #QueerTheology #FaithAndIdentity

"For years, I stood in the pulpit and preached that homosexuality was a sin. I believed the Bible was clear. I thought I was right. I was wrong."In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Pastor Joe Smith, a straight, cisgender pastor who spent years preaching traditional, non-affirming theology—until his understanding completely transformed.This isn't a story about a pastor who came out. It's about a pastor who changed his mind.Joe shares his journey from confidently condemning LGBTQ+ people from the pulpit to becoming an advocate and ally. He talks about what scriptures he got wrong, what made him reconsider his theology, and why he now believes you absolutely CAN be gay and Christian.This conversation is for:✅ Pastors and church leaders wrestling with LGBTQ+ theology✅ LGBTQ+ people hurt by the church✅ Parents trying to reconcile their faith and their LGBTQ+ child✅ Anyone who's been told they have to choose between faith and identityJoe shares:✅ Why he used to preach against homosexuality✅ The moment he started questioning his theology✅ How he studied scripture with fresh eyes✅ What the "clobber passages" actually mean in context✅ The harm he caused and his journey toward repair✅ Why he now proudly affirms LGBTQ+ people✅ His message to pastors still preaching condemnation✅ His message to LGBTQ+ people hurt by the churchIN THIS EPISODE:[00:00] Introduction[02:30] Joe's background: Growing up in conservative Christianity[08:15] Why he preached against homosexuality[14:40] The moment doubt crept in[22:10] Re-studying the "clobber passages"[30:45] What the Bible actually says (and doesn't say)[38:20] The harm of non-affirming theology[45:00] His apology to the LGBTQ+ community[52:15] What he wants other pastors to know[58:30] What he wants LGBTQ+ people to know[01:04:00] How churches can become truly affirmingRESOURCES:📖 Download the FREE LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide:👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth🏳️‍🌈 Crisis Support:The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth)GLAAD: Resources for LGBTQ+ ChristiansQ Christian Fellowship: Community for LGBTQ+ Christians💜 Support the Mission:If this podcast has helped you, please consider donating to help us expand our reach and support more LGBTQ+ individuals and allies navigating faith and identity.👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothFOLLOW YOU CAN BE BOTH:📸 Instagram: [@youcanbeboth]🎵 TikTok: [@youcanbeboth]🎙️ Podcast: Search "You Can Be Both" wherever you listenFOLLOW LAUREN LANZARETTA:📸 Instagram: [@laurenlanzaretta]🎵 TikTok: [@laurenlanzaretta]🌐 Website: laurenlanzaretta.comSHARE THIS MESSAGE:💬 Know a pastor questioning their theology? Share this episode.💬 Know an LGBTQ+ person hurt by the church? Send them this story of change.💬 Know parents struggling to reconcile faith and their child's identity? This is for them.🔔 Subscribe so you never miss stories of transformation and hope.👍 Leave a comment—your story matters.The church CAN change. Theology CAN evolve. Love CAN win. You can be both.A NOTE FROM LAUREN:If you're a pastor or church leader reading this, please know: It's okay to change your mind. Admitting you were wrong takes more courage than doubling down on harmful theology. The LGBTQ+ community needs more leaders like Joe—people willing to do the hard work of rethinking what they were taught.If you're LGBTQ+ and you've been hurt by churches like the one Joe used to lead, please know: Not all pastors stay stuck. Some are willing to learn, grow, and change. And those who hurt you were wrong—not you.#AffirmingPastor #GayChristian #PastorChanges #AffirmingTheology #ReligiousTrauma #ChurchHurt #ProgressiveChristianity #LGBTQAffirming #YouCanBeBoth #ChristianAlly

NBA player Jaden Ivey was recently suspended for making homophobic comments about Pride Night, calling it "unrighteous" and against his Christian beliefs. But when did being Christian become about being the moral police instead of loving people?In this episode, I break down why Jaden Ivey's comments are the opposite of what Jesus taught, why Pride Night matters for LGBTQ+ people who have been marginalized and discriminated against for decades, and why Christians need to stop using their beliefs to justify hate.Here's the truth: LGBTQ+ people are human beings. We wake up, go to work, have families, and try to survive just like everyone else. We've been kicked out of churches, rejected by our families, physically assaulted, and even murdered simply for being who we are. And now, when the NBA says, "Hey, we're going to have ONE NIGHT where LGBTQ+ people can feel welcomed and safe," some Christians have a problem with it?That's not Christianity. That's bigotry.IN THIS EPISODE:✅ Why Jaden Ivey's "beliefs" are actually harmful✅ The difference between beliefs and bigotry✅ How the Bible was used to justify slavery and segregation✅ What Jesus actually said about loving marginalized people✅ Why Christians who obsess over LGBTQ+ people might be struggling themselves✅ A challenge to Christians: Go to Pride Night and meet real people✅ Why "loving the sinner, hating the sin" is still hateQUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE:"When your beliefs start to take away the human rights of other people, they are no longer beliefs. You are just a homophobic and hateful bigot.""You are not earning any brownie points with God for hating on people.""Stop being narcissistic and thinking that you have all the answers. You are a sinner yourself, and God had mercy on you—so have mercy on others."RESOURCES:📖 Download the FREE LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide:👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth🏳️‍🌈 Crisis Support:The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth)PFLAG: Support for parents, families, friends, and allies of LGBTQ+ peopleQ Christian Fellowship: Community for LGBTQ+ Christians💜 Support the Mission:If this podcast has helped you, please consider donating to help us expand our reach and support more LGBTQ+ individuals navigating faith and identity.👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothFOLLOW YOU CAN BE BOTH:📸 Instagram: [@youcanbeboth]🎵 TikTok: [@youcanbeboth]🎙️ Podcast: Search "You Can Be Both" wherever you listenFOLLOW LAUREN LANZARETTA:📸 Instagram: [@laurenlanzaretta]🎵 TikTok: [@laurenlanzaretta]🌐 Website: laurenlanzaretta.comSHARE THIS MESSAGE:💬 Know a Christian who needs to hear this? Share this video.💬 Know an LGBTQ+ person hurt by comments like Jaden's? Send them this.🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode.👍 Leave a comment—I read every single one.You don't have to choose between your faith and loving LGBTQ+ people. You can be both.UPCOMING:🎥 Testimony Tuesdays — Live testimonies every Tuesday on YouTube📱 Community App — The largest community of LGBTQ+ people of faith in the world (coming soon!)📞 One-on-One Calls — Personal support for your faith journey (launching soon!)A NOTE TO VIEWERS:If you're a Christian struggling with LGBTQ+ acceptance, I get it. I used to be homophobic too when I was in the closet. But I challenge you: stop othering people. Look at LGBTQ+ individuals as human beings loved by God who deserve respect and dignity.If you're LGBTQ+ and you've been hurt by Christians like Jaden Ivey, please know: You are not unrighteous. You are not an enemy of God. You are loved, valued, and worthy exactly as you are.#JadenIvey #PrideNight #NBA #ChicagoBulls #GayChristian #LGBTQChurch #ChristianLGBTQ #Homophobia #ChristianAthlete #PrideControversy #LGBTQRights #ChristianResponse #YouCanBeBoth #LaurenLanzaretta #QueerFaith #ReligiousTrauma #ChurchHurt #LGBTQTestimony #ChristianAlly #ProgressiveChristianity #AffirmingChristianity

"I was a worship leader who sang about God's love every Sunday—while hiding who I really was."In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Israel Isaac, a longtime megachurch worship leader who came out as gay four years ago and recently auditioned for America's Got Talent and appears on Bravo's Vanderpump Rules.For years, Israel led thousands of people in worship—pouring his heart into every song, every service, every moment on stage. But he was living a double life. He was gay, and he knew if anyone found out, everything would change.When Israel came out just four years ago, it cost him everything he knew—his church, his community, his sense of belonging. But it also gave him something he'd never had before: freedom.In this honest and vulnerable conversation, Israel shares his journey of growing up gay in the church, the pain of hiding, the courage it took to come out, and what happened when he finally stepped into his truth. From leading worship in front of 10,000 people to standing on the America's Got Talent stage and now appearing on Vanderpump Rules, Israel's story is proof that you don't have to choose between your faith and your identity.If you've ever felt like you had to hide who you are to be loved, this episode is for you.IN THIS EPISODE:✅ Growing up gay in a religious community✅ What it's like to lead worship while closeted✅ Coming out four years ago and how it changed everything✅ How the church responded✅ Israel's journey to America's Got Talent✅ Being on Bravo's Vanderpump Rules✅ Finding self-acceptance and freedom✅ Why you don't have to choose between faith and identityRESOURCES:📖 Download the FREE LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide:👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth🏳️‍🌈 Crisis Support: The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth)GLAAD: Resources for LGBTQ+ Christians💜 Support the Mission: If this podcast has helped you, please consider donating to help us expand our reach and support more LGBTQ+ individuals navigating faith and identity.👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothFOLLOW YOU CAN BE BOTH:📸 Instagram: [@youcanbeboth]🎵 TikTok: [@youcanbeboth]🎙️ Podcast: Search "You Can Be Both" wherever you listenFOLLOW LAUREN LANZARETTA:📸 Instagram: [@laurenlanzaretta]🎵 TikTok: [@laurenlanzaretta]🌐 Website: laurenlanzaretta.comSHARE THIS MESSAGE:💬 Know someone who needs to hear Israel's story? Share this episode with them.🔔 Subscribe so you never miss a story of hope and healing.👍 Leave a comment—your story matters.You don't have to choose between your truth and your faith. You can be both.#ComingOut #LGBTQChurch #WorshipLeader #ChristianLGBTQ #QueerFaith #AmericasGotTalent #AGT #VanderpumpRules #ComingOutStory #GayAndChristian #ChurchHurt #ReligiousTrauma #LGBTQYouth #QueerStories #FaithJourney #LGBTQTestimony #YouCanBeBoth #ChristianCommunity #QueerWorship #LGBTQAcceptance #LaurenLanzaretta #ProgressiveChristianity #AffirmingChurch #IsraelIsaac #BravoTV #comingoutstory

What happens when a Harvard Divinity School graduate, public theologian and gardening philosopher sits down with an LGBTQ Christian podcast host for over an hour of raw, unfiltered conversation about faith, sexuality, race, the church and what it means to truly know God?This. This episode happens.Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Ciarra Jones — known as the Gardening Theologian — for one of the most thought-provoking, theologically rich and deeply personal conversations the You Can Be Both podcast has ever had. Ciarra is a writer, speaker and public theologian who helps people untangle inherited beliefs and cultivate a faith that is rooted, liberated and alive. In this episode, Lauren and Ciarra explore:🌱 Growing up Black in all-white California towns — and what that teaches you about systems of power📖 How Ciarra's parents' divorce led her into fundamentalist Christianity — and what it took to find her way out🏳️‍🌈 What the church gets wrong about LGBTQ identity — and what a more expansive faith looks like✝️ The difference between a punishing God and a gentle God — and who benefits from each🌿 How gardening became a spiritual practice and a theological framework💬 Ex-gay theology, deconstruction, inherited belief systems and what it means to truly be freeCiarra's closing message will stay with you: What does a gentle God look like — and what does that God offer us?This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like their faith and their identity couldn't coexist. You can be both.🌱 FOLLOW CIARRA JONES:Instagram & TikTok: @TheGardeningTheologianPodcast: The Community Garden Podcast/Substack: The Gardening Theologian📥 FREE LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide — Lauren's full testimony plus every book, podcast and voice that helped her move from shame to freedom:👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:🍎 Apple Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta"🎧 Spotify: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta"▶️ YouTube: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta"📲 FOLLOW LAUREN:Instagram: @LaurenLanzarettaTikTok: @LaurenLanzarettaYouTube: Lauren Lanzaretta💛 LOVE THIS PODCAST? HERE'S HOW YOU CAN HELP:This podcast exists to remind every LGBTQ person of faith that they are not alone — and it reaches people because of YOU.✅ Like this video — it tells the algorithm this conversation matters✅ Leave a comment — share what resonated, ask a question, say hi✅ Share this episode with one person who needs to hear it — a friend, a family member, someone still struggling in silence✅ Subscribe so you never miss a Sunday episode💛 Consider donating to help us expand this mission and reach more people who feel alone — every contribution helps us keep going and grow: https://account.venmo.com/u/youcanbebothYou are not confused. You are not broken. You are not too much. You can be both.#YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #GardeningTheologian #CiarraJones #LaurenLanzaretta #FaithAndSexuality #QueerChristian #Deconstruction #ChristianPodcast #LGBTQFaith #HarvardDivinity #BlackChristian #GentleGod #FaithAndPride #LGBTQHealing

What happens when a deeply Christian mom learns her daughter is gay — while sitting in a rainy parking lot before school? In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Staci Frenes — singer, songwriter, author and Christian mom — who shares the raw, emotional moment her daughter Abby came out to her at 16, and the years-long journey that followed as she learned to hold onto both her faith and her child.Staci's latest book, Love Makes Room, is a memoir about how she expanded her faith to fully embrace her daughter's LGBTQ+ identity — without letting go of God. This conversation is for every LGBTQ person who has feared coming out to their parents, and every parent who is trying to find their way.In this episode:🏳️‍🌈 The moment Staci's daughter came out — and how she responded🙏 How a conservative Christian mom reconciled her faith with her child's identity💔 The two years of pain before Abby could say the words out loud❤️ What Staci wants every LGBTQ person — and every parent — to hear📖 How her book Love Makes Room is giving families a third way forward📥 FREE LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide — includes Lauren's full testimony and every book, podcast and voice that helped her move from shame to freedom:👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth📖 Get Staci's book Love Makes Room — available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold: https://amzn.to/4t1zk2Q🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:🍎 Apple Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta"🎧 Spotify: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta"▶️ YouTube: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta"📲 FOLLOW LAUREN:Instagram: @LanzarettaTikTok: @LanzarettaYouTube: Lauren Lanzaretta💬 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear that they are not confused, not broken, not too much — and that they can be both.#YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #ChristianMom #LGBTQFaith #ComingOut #LoveMakesRoom #LaurenLanzaretta #ChristianPodcast #LGBTQHealing #FaithAndPride #ComingOutStory #ChristianParents #LGBTQParents #Affirming

Have you ever wondered if God actually loves you — or if the hate you've heard from others is the truth? In this solo episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta takes a break from guests to speak directly to her community about one of the most important questions LGBTQ people of faith wrestle with: does God love me, exactly as I am?Lauren reads a powerful listener testimony from a woman who grew up Amish, survived years of sexual abuse, came out as a lesbian, and found her way back to God — and uses it to explore how we separate a loving God from the painful messages we've received from religion and family.This episode is for anyone who has been told they're going to hell, who has walked away from their faith because of shame, or who is quietly wondering if there's still a place for them at God's table. There is.Lauren also shares exciting updates on what's coming for the You Can Be Both community — including a private community app, one-on-one mentoring calls, live retreats, and monthly group Zoom calls.In this episode:-A moving listener testimony about surviving abuse, coming out, and returning to faith-How to separate God's love from hateful religious messaging-Why your relationship with God as an LGBTQ person is powerful — not disqualified-A prayer over every person listening this week-Exciting community updates including a private app, mentoring calls, and live eventsFree LGBTQ Healing and Resource Guide — including Lauren's full testimony and every book, podcast, and voice that helped her move from shame to freedom — https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth📧 Sign up for community updates and be the first to know when the app launches: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJWqrj3WinN-Li_TqY3RtMc8L3WTUw9jCikDQ6NPtyjOlAJg/viewform💛 If this podcast has helped you, consider sharing it with someone who needs it — or donating to help this message reach people still struggling in silence.Find Lauren's music on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music — search Lauren Lanzaretta📲 Follow You Can Be Both:Instagram | TikTok | YouTubeNew episodes every Sunday at 11 a.m.

Did the word “homosexual” really appear in the Bible for the first time in 1946?In this episode of the You Can Be Both podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta interviews Sharon “Rocky” Roggio, director of the documentary 1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture.The film investigates how the word homosexual entered an English Bible translation for the FIRST TIME in 1946 — and how that translation has shaped modern conversations around Christianity, LGBTQ identity, and faith.Using archived research from Yale University, scholars, and historical records, the documentary explores how a translation decision influenced theology, culture, and the global debate about LGBTQ people in the church.If you’ve ever asked:• Can you be LGBTQ and Christian?• Does the Bible actually condemn homosexuality?• What happened in the 1946 Bible translation?This conversation breaks down the history, the scholarship, and the real-life impact.⸻🎙 In This Episode00:00 – Introduction to the You Can Be Both podcast01:40 – Why the documentary 1946 is so important03:50 – The discovery of the Bible mistranslation06:00 – Why the director quit her job to make this film10:00 – Growing up Christian and LGBTQ12:00 – How the translation controversy was discovered19:00 – Why allies are essential in LGBTQ faith spaces21:00 – The impact the film has had worldwide27:00 – Understanding the original Greek context33:00 – The “clobber verses” explained38:00 – Navigating faith as an LGBTQ Christian46:00 – Family, faith, and difficult conversations54:00 – What’s next for the 1946 movement⸻🎬 Watch the Documentary1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted CultureStreaming on major platforms including Amazon, Apple TV, and YouTube.Learn more:https://1946themovie.com⸻🌈 About the PodcastYou Can Be Both explores the intersection of faith, identity, and healing from religious trauma.The show features conversations with theologians, filmmakers, creators, and LGBTQ Christians who are redefining what faith can look like.🌈 LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth🎵 Lauren's music: search Lauren Lanzaretta on Spotify, Apple Music & YouTube⸻🔔 Subscribe for More Conversations About:LGBTQ ChristianityFaith and sexualityBible translation historyChristian deconstructionInclusive theology#1946Documentary#LGBTQChristian#FaithAndSexuality#BibleTranslation#christiandeconstruction If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs to hear it.Support You Can Be Both: https://account.venmo.com/u/youcanbeboth

What happens when you grow up evangelical, marry a man, build a life… and then realize you’re actually a lesbian?In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Sophia Spallino — luxury lesbian matchmaker and founder of The Queer Country Club — to talk about coming out at 29, leaving a heterosexual marriage, losing everything, and rebuilding a life rooted in truth, faith, and aligned partnership.Sophia shares:• Growing up in evangelical Christianity• Suppressing same-sex attraction for years• Marrying a man while knowing something wasn’t right• The moment she finally admitted, “I’m a lesbian”• Losing her home, finances, and stability after coming out• Why so many married Christian women are secretly struggling• What lesbians are REALLY looking for in a partner• The truth about monogamy, dating apps, and modern queer dating• Why faith and sexuality don’t have to be oppositesIf you’ve ever felt torn between your faith and your identity… this conversation is for you. Share this with someone who needs to hear it! ✨ You can be both LGBTQ and a person of faith.✨ Follow us on @Youcanbeboth, @Lanzaretta⸻🔗 Resources Mentioned:• LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth• Queer Country Club Dating Platform: https://queercountryclub.com/• Follow Sophia: https://www.instagram.com/sophiaspallino/?hl=en#ChristianLesbian #LateBloomingLesbian #ComingOutStory #FaithAndSexuality #ExEvangelical #LesbianDating #QueerChristian #LGBTQFaith #ReligiousTrauma #WomenLovingWomen #LesbianMatchmaker

Can you be transgender and Christian?What happens when a megachurch pastor comes out as trans?And why is she now running for public office?In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Joanna Whaley, a former evangelical megachurch pastor who was outed, fired, and subjected to 15 years of conversion therapy — and is now running for the Michigan House of Representatives.Joanna shares:    •    What 15 years of conversion therapy did to her mental health    •    The real experience of gender dysphoria    •    What it felt like to lose her job after being outed    •    Why she still identifies as a Christian    •    How Christian nationalism impacts LGBTQ people    •    Her response to rhetoric from Donald Trump and the rise of anti-trans legislation    •    Why she believes we’re in a “100-year battle” for LGBTQ inclusion in the church• Why she's running for Michigan House of RepresentativesJoanna previously served at one of America’s largest megachurches, including Life Church, and holds a seminary degree focused on liberation and queer theology. Today, she works as a clinical chaplain and advocates for LGBTQ+ Christians seeking faith without shame.If you’ve ever wondered:    •    Is being LGBTQ a sin?    •    What does the Bible really say about trans people?    •    Can you follow Jesus and affirm queer identities?    •    How do you survive coming out in evangelical spaces?This conversation is for you.💬 “You are not a problem for God.”That message alone could change someone’s life.⸻📌 Resources Mentioned    •    LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth    •    Support Joanna’s campaign: https://www.joannawhaley.com/If this episode encouraged you, don’t forget to:👍 Like🔔 Subscribe📤 Share with someone who needs hopeYou can be LGBTQ. You can love Jesus. You don’t have to choose.#TransChristian #LGBTQFaith #Exvangelical #ChristianNationalism #GenderDysphoria #ConversionTherapy #ProgressiveChristianity #FaithAndPolitics #QueerTheology #MichiganPolitics

To inquire about Candace's services please visit: https://www.thechristiancloset.com/Follow her on Instagram at: @lesbiantherapistCan you be gay and Christian? What does growing up LGBTQ in the church actually do to your mental health? And how do you heal from years of being told you’re going to hell?In this episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with licensed therapist Candice Czubernat, founder of The Christian Closet and an LGBTQ+ affirming counseling practice, to unpack religious trauma, conversion therapy, shame, and the psychological impact of growing up gay in conservative Christianity.Candice shares her journey from attending Moody Bible Institute to falling in love with a woman, navigating spiritual abuse, and eventually building a thriving practice helping LGBTQ Christians heal.In this episode, we discuss:• What religious trauma does to your nervous system• The psychological damage of being told you’re going to hell• How conversion therapy harms LGBTQ people• How to tell the difference between fear and Holy Spirit conviction• Why “sin feels good” theology is deeply damaging• Learning to trust yourself again• Healing shame as a gay Christian• Rebuilding your relationship with God• What affirming therapy should actually look likeIf you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, shame, fear of hell, or distrust of yourself because of your sexuality and faith — this episode is for you.You are not broken. You are not beyond God’s love. And healing is possible.📖 Download the LGBTQ Christian Healing Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth🎙 Subscribe for more conversations on faith, sexuality, and mental health💬 Share this with someone who needs to hear it📲 Follow us on TikTok and Instagram  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩ 

Does conversion therapy work?What actually happens behind closed doors in Christian “ex-gay” programs—and why do people stay for years?In this episode of The You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Timothy Rodriguez, author of Conversion Therapy Dropout, for a raw, unfiltered conversation about surviving eight years of conversion therapy, working behind the scenes for some of the biggest evangelical megachurches (including Hillsong, Elevation Church, and Willow Creek), and reclaiming faith after religious trauma.Timothy shares:    •    What conversion therapy really looks like (it’s not what most people think)   •    Why conversion therapy doesn’t change sexuality—but does cause deep psychological harm    •    How churches promote “belonging” while quietly silencing LGBTQ people    •    The truth behind the “ex-gay” movement and why it fails    •    How shame, repression, and spiritual abuse nearly destroyed his life    •    Why LGBTQ Christians often feel closer to God after coming out, not farther away    •    Why conversion therapy is still happening today—and growingThis conversation also breaks down:    •    The role of megachurch culture in sustaining harmful theology    •    How conversion therapy has gone underground under “religious freedom”    •    Why trans and nonbinary youth are now the primary targets    •    What it means to be both LGBTQ and Christian without self-hatred⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode discusses religious trauma, mental health crises, and conversion therapy practices.If you’re questioning your faith, your sexuality, or what you’ve been told about God—you are not alone.📘 Get the LGBTQ Christian Healing & Resource Guide:https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth📚 Learn more about Timothy Rodriguez & Conversion Therapy Dropout: https://amzn.to/45OiADaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/timothy.s.rodriguez/?hl=en🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on faith, queerness, healing, and spiritual freedom🎧 Available on Spotify and all podcast platformsTIMESTAMPS:00:00 – Does Conversion Therapy Work? (The Truth)02:26 – 8 Years in Conversion Therapy: “Spoiler Alert: No”05:26 – Working for Megachurches While Hiding His Identity07:11 – “Everyone’s Welcome”… Until You’re Gay09:06 – Outed by a Youth Pastor12:05 – Calling Exodus International13:48 – What Conversion Therapy Really Looks Like17:46 – Why People Stay Trapped for Years22:31 – The Moment Everything Fell Apart24:26 – “I Would Rather Die Than Live Like This”25:08 – Hospitalization & Breaking Free30:08 – Why He Wrote Conversion Therapy Dropout33:01 – Why He Didn’t Walk Away from God36:17 – LGBTQ Christians & Real Faith41:21 – Is Conversion Therapy Still Happening Today?45:52 – Why Trans & Nonbinary People Are Now the Target47:19 – The Realization There Was No End56:17 – Prayer

What does it mean when a straight, white male pastor says LGBTQ+ people fully belong in the church?In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta welcomes her first-ever guest, Danny Lybarger — a straight, white male pastor, theologian, and founder of The Well: An Inclusive & Justice-Centered Church in the St. Louis area.Danny is known for using his platform, privilege, and voice within the church to advocate loudly for LGBTQ+ inclusion, even when it put his ordination, funding, and career at risk. His viral TikToks challenge harmful theology and center a message many queer Christians have never heard from someone who “fits” traditional church leadership: you are not excluded from God’s table.Together, Lauren and Danny unpack some of the most searched, debated, and emotionally charged questions in Christianity today, including:• Can LGBTQ+ people be Christians?• Are gay people going to hell?• What does the Bible actually say about homosexuality?• Why “welcoming” churches often aren’t affirming• How to tell if a church is truly LGBTQ+ affirming• Why church trauma drives so many queer people away from faith• The responsibility of straight allies and pastors to speak up• United Methodist theology vs evangelical Christianity• The Wesleyan Quadrilateral (Scripture, tradition, reason, experience)• Responding to clobber verses, proof-texting, and online hate• Why representation in church leadership matters• How radical inclusion is not political—it’s deeply biblicalDanny also shares the real consequences of choosing affirmation: performing same-sex marriages before his denomination allowed it, risking being defrocked, receiving hate mail, and building a church in one of the most conservative counties in Missouri—while refusing to back down.This episode is for you if:✔️ You’re LGBTQ+ and have experienced church hurt✔️ You were raised evangelical and are deconstructing✔️ You still love Jesus but feel unsafe in church spaces✔️ You’re searching for an affirming church✔️ You’re a pastor, leader, or ally who wants to show up better👉 Subscribe to the You Can Be Both Podcast for conversations at the intersection of faith, sexuality, healing, and justice👉 Download the LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth👉 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they still belongYou can love Jesus. You can be queer. You can be both.⸻Connect with Danny Lybarger:🌐 The Well Church: https://www.thewell636.org/📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@danny_lybarger📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danny_lybarger/?hl=enConnect with Lauren Lanzaretta:🌐 Website: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com📱 TikTok: @lanzaretta,  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩  📷 Instagram: @lanzaretta,  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩  📧 LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth⸻#ChristianTikTok #FaithTok #QueerTikTok #ChurchTok #ProgressiveFaith #DeconstructingFaith #LGBTQAlly #StraightAlly #AffirmingFaith #ReligiousTrauma #YouCanBeBoth #LaurenLanzaretta #DannyLybarger #TheWell #AffirmingChurch #QueerChristian #ChurchHurt #BiblicalInclusion

• LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth• Submit your story: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz________________Can you stop being gay?Can you pray the gay away?Does God actually change someone’s sexual orientation — and if so, why doesn’t He do it for everyone?In this episode of You Can Be Both, we take an honest, compassionate, and deeply personal look at ex-gay testimonies, conversion therapy, and the psychological and spiritual harm caused by shame-based faith narratives.Many LGBTQ Christians are told that if they pray harder, surrender more, or fully “commit,” God will remove same-sex attraction. But for countless people, that never happens — and the result is anxiety, depression, self-hatred, and even suicidal ideation.In this conversation, we explore:    •    Why “ex-gay” stories are often rooted in survival, trauma, or repression    •    The difference between healing trauma and trying to change sexual orientation    •    How shame-based Christianity fuels fear, guilt, and self-abandonment    •    Why being LGBTQ does not prevent you from following Jesus    •    The truth about conversion therapy and why it’s been denounced by major medical associations    •    How faith, mental health, and sexuality intersect    •    Why God’s love is not conditional on becoming straightThis episode is for:    •    LGBTQ Christians questioning their faith    •    Anyone harmed by “pray the gay away” theology    •    Parents trying to understand their LGBTQ child    •    People deconstructing harmful church teachings    •    Those healing from religious traumaYour identity is not a sin.Your attraction is not a failure of faith.And you do not need to change who you’re attracted to in order to be loved by God.✨ Resources mentioned:    •    LGBTQ Christian Healing Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/shop/p/gaychristianresourceguide    •    Pray Away documentary on Netflix  📩 Have you experienced conversion therapy or ex-gay ministry?There’s a confidential form linked below — your story matters.👉 Subscribe for more honest conversations at the intersection of faith, healing, and LGBTQ identity.👉 Follow You Can Be Both on Instagram and TikTok as well!

If you're LGBTQ+ and Christian, you've probably experienced religious trauma—rejection from church, kicked out of ministry, told you're going to hell, or living a double life hiding who you are. You're not alone, and you're NOT broken.I read dozens of stories from LGBTQ Christians daily, and the pain from Church abuse is heartbreaking but the healing is REAL. This episode is for every gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or queer person who still loves God but has been wounded by His people.💔 REAL LGBTQ STORIES SHARED:• Trans woman forced into military by parents, sexually assaulted, then fired from school job for being trans• Sunday school teacher excommunicated after 10+ years of faithful service—just for coming out• Gay Catholic altar boy standing next to a priest who says LGBTQ people belong in mental institutions• Christian educator living a double life, hiding her identity to keep her job• I was personally excluded from part of my mission trip to Thailand for being gay (even though I was closeted at the time)📊 THE 3 THINGS WE ALL STRUGGLE WITH:1. Rejection, judgment, and harm from the church2. Reconciling faith and LGBTQ identity ("Can I be fully myself AND fully Christian?")3. Long-term emotional/mental health trauma (anxiety, depression, shame)✝️ THE TRUTH:You are NOT worse than anyone else. You're covered by God's grace. Being LGBTQ is NOT a sin. You deserve love, dignity, and a place in the church. God is NOT ashamed of you.🌈 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:✓ Why religious abuse happens to LGBTQ people in churches✓ How to heal from spiritual trauma and shame✓ The connection between LGBTQ rights and the Civil Rights Movement✓ Why allies matter and how they can help✓ Bible verses for the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, Matthew 11:28)✓ Homework: Do something just for you and God this week💡 KEY MESSAGES:• The church has weaponized 6 Bible verses against LGBTQ people • Kicking someone out of ministry for being gay is religious abuse—period• LGBTQ people are NOT more dangerous, perverted, or spiritually corrupt• You can't "pray away" being gay—it ends in exhaustion and crisis• Manifesting yourself out of shame doesn't work—community and healing do🏳️‍🌈 YOU ARE NOT ALONE: This community is resilient. You didn't walk away from God even after how His people treated you. That's powerful. And God sees you, loves you, and is walking with you every single day.📚 RESOURCES:• LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth• Submit your story: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz⏰ TIMESTAMPS:0:00 - You Are Not Alone2:30 - Take a Breath: You're Covered by Grace7:00 - Trans Woman's Heartbreaking Story10:30 - Sunday School Teacher Excommunicated12:25 - Why Being Gay Doesn't Disqualify You15:10 - Living a Double Life at Work17:20 - MLK & the LGBTQ Movement23:30 - Gay Catholic Altar Boy's Pain25:30 - The 3 Things We ALL Struggle With31:00 - Hope is Still Present33:00 - Bible Verses for Healing35:00 - Prayer for the LGBTQ Community💬 COMMENT BELOW:Which story resonated with you most? What's YOUR experience with church and being LGBTQ? Let's heal together.👍 If this helped you feel less alone, please like and subscribe. New episodes every Sunday at 11 AM.🔔 Turn on notifications so you don't miss future episodes.You can be LGBTQ. You can be Christian. You can be BOTH. 🏳️‍🌈✝️---#LGBTQ #GayChristian #Religioustrauma #ChurchHurt #LGBTQFaith #GayAndChristian #TransChristian #QueerFaith #ChristianLGBTQ #ReligiousAbuse #LGBTQHealing #AffirmingChurch #ProgressiveChristianity #LGBTQCommunity #FaithJourney #YouCanBeBoth #GayPride #LGBTQSupport #ChurchTrauma #SpiritualAbuse #LGBTQRights #QueerChristian #BiChristian #TransRights #LGBTQAcceptance #ChristianHealing #LGBTQTherapy #AffirmingTheology #GodLovesYou #LGBTQPodcast

Why do I call myself a "gay Christian"? Is it wrong to identify as LGBTQ+ and a person of faith? In this episode, I tackle one of the most controversial questions in the Christian LGBTQ community: Can you identify as both gay AND Christian without compromising your faith?Many Christians argue we should find our identity solely in Christ, but does that mean we have to deny who we are? In this episode, I break down:✅ The difference between IDENTITY, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, and DESCRIPTORS✅ Why sexual orientation is NOT a sin and what the Bible REALLY says about homosexuality✅ The truth about those "6 clobber passages" and how they've been mistranslated✅ Why the word "homosexual" wasn't even in the Bible until 1946✅ How coming out of the shadows and living authentically strengthens your faith✅ What it means to truly find your identity in Christ while being honest about who you areThis episode is for anyone struggling to reconcile their LGBTQ+ identity with their Christian faith. Whether you're in the closet, recently out, or supporting someone on this journey—this message is for you.📖 RESOURCE: Download my 51-page healing guide for LGBTQ+ people of faith: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth💬 STRUGGLING? Email me or leave a comment—you're not alone in this journey.👍 If this message resonated with you, give it a thumbs up and share with someone who needs to hear this.🙏 PRAYER: At the end of this episode, I pray over everyone listening who's been rejected by the church, family, or friends. God loves you, is proud of you, and your identity is secure in Him.📅 New episodes every Sunday at 11 AM!Follow us on on TikTok and Instagram: @YouCanBeBoth⁩  You can find my music on Spotify/Apple Music/Youtube  ⁨@LaurenLanzaretta⁩  #GayChristian #LGBTQFaith #ChristianLGBTQ #ProgressiveChristianity #AffirmingChristian #QueerChristian #ComingOut #ReligiousTrauma #BiblicalInterpretation #FaithAndSexuality #YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChurch #GayAndChristian #ChristianPodcast #FaithJourney #LGBTQMinistry #AffirmingTheology #QueerTheology #ReligiousDeconstruction #ChristianIdentity

GET THE RESOURCE GUIDE HERE: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothWelcome to You Can Be Both — the podcast for LGBTQ+ Christians, gay Christians, and anyone navigating faith and sexuality while healing from religious trauma, church hurt, and rejection.In this New Year episode, Lauren shares how we’re moving from confusion to clarity in 2026. If you’ve ever wondered “Can I be Christian and LGBTQ?” or felt stuck between your identity and your faith, this conversation is for you. We talk about what it really takes to heal, rebuild confidence, and deepen your relationship with God—without shrinking who you are.In this episode, you’ll learn:    •    What “confusion to clarity” means for LGBTQ people of faith in 2026    •    How community and testimony help us heal from evangelical trauma, Catholic guilt, and spiritual abuse    •    Why understanding Bible context and translation matters (and why Lauren plans to bring on guests who can unpack “clobber verses,” theology, and Scripture interpretation)    •    The 3-step healing framework: get educated, get connected, and start healing    •    How to release what’s holding you back in 2026: addiction and coping behaviors, approval-seeking, and toxic relationships    •    Why you don’t need permission from pastors, parents, or church culture to be okay with God    •    Practical next steps: finding affirming churches, following helpful creators, getting therapy support, and using journaling prompts for healing and future visionLauren also shares big plans for 2026, including guest interviews, TikTok Lives, Zoom community calls, and future live events built around worship, healing, testimonies, and connection.To close, Lauren leads a guided Christian meditation for healing—an imaginative prayerful exercise centered on God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—followed by Psalm 23, and a heartfelt community prayer for freedom from depression, addiction, shame, and abusive relationships.📌 RESOURCE GUIDE (Confusion to Clarity Healing Guide): Lauren created a downloadable healing guide for LGBTQ+ people of faith packed with books, podcasts, affirming church resources, therapist support ideas, and journaling prompts to help you start your healing journey. GET THE RESOURCE GUIDE HERE: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothThe book she mentioned called "Letting Go" (which is also in the resource guide) can be purchased here: https://amzn.to/49kYwcu📩 Share your testimony / join the community: Submit your email + location in the form below so you can get updates about lives, Zoom calls, and upcoming events/tour dates: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzIf this episode helped you, please like, subscribe, and share—it helps this message reach other LGBTQ+ Christians who feel alone. You are loved. God loves you. And you are not alone.🔔 New episodes every Sunday at 11am🎧 Also available on all podcast platformsFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ #LGBTQChristian #GayChristian #YouCanBeBoth #Deconstruction #ReligiousTrauma #ChurchHurt #AffirmingChurch #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndSexuality #HealingJourney #christianmeditation

Why are Christians so obsessed with LGBTQ people—when LGBTQ Christians make up just 3% of the Church?In this episode of You Can Be Both, we explore a question many LGBTQ people of faith are asking: Why does such a small, vulnerable community receive so much scrutiny, legislation, and moral policing from Christians—while far bigger issues go ignored?This episode unpacks the rise of Christian nationalism, the explosion of anti-LGBTQ legislation, and the deep religious trauma experienced by LGBTQ people—especially those who still love God and want to keep their faith. We explore how Jesus’ actual teachings of love, compassion, and care for the vulnerable have been replaced by fear-based politics, moral superiority, and targeted attacks on queer and trans people.💬 In this episode, we discuss:    •    Why LGBTQ people are disproportionately targeted by Christians and lawmakers    •    The role of Christian nationalism in anti-LGBTQ bills and policies    •    How religious abuse and church trauma impact LGBTQ mental health    •    Why sexual orientation is not a sin—and why comparing it to abuse is harmful    •    What Jesus actually taught about love, power, and human dignity    •    How LGBTQ Christians can heal, reclaim their faith, and find safe community    •    Why you can be both LGBTQ and ChristianThis podcast exists as a safe space for LGBTQ people of faith—especially those who’ve been told they must choose between who they are and God. If you’ve experienced church hurt, spiritual abuse, or rejection from family or faith communities, you are not alone.✨ This episode is for you if you’re searching for:    •    LGBTQ Christian support    •    Healing from religious trauma    •    Conversations about faith and sexuality    •    Christian perspectives that center love, not harm    •    A reminder that God hasn’t abandoned you🙏 If this episode resonates:    •    Subscribe for weekly conversations on faith, healing, and LGBTQ identity    •    Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it    •    Leave a comment—your story matters hereYou don’t have to give up your faith to be yourself.You don’t have to give up yourself to love God.You can be both.⸻🔔 New episodes every Sunday at 11am🎧 Also available on all podcast platformsTo submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ #LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity#YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #QueerFaith #GayChristian #ReligiousTrauma #AffirmingFaith #HolidayStress #ChosenFamily #Deconstruction #LGBTQPodcast

Navigating the holidays as an LGBTQ+ person—especially in religious families—can be incredibly stressful!In this holiday edition of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta shares practical tools, responses, and boundary-setting strategies to help LGBTQ+ people of faith protect their peace during difficult family gatherings.In this episode, we talk about how to handle awkward or triggering conversations, religious judgment, pronouns being ignored, political tension, and questions about faith, church, or identity. Lauren draws from her own experience growing up evangelical, coming out later in life, and navigating loving—but theologically different—relationships with Christian parents.You’ll learn:    •    How to emotionally prepare before going home for the holidays    •    Why changing minds at the dinner table isn’t the goal—and what is    •    Boundary-setting responses that are firm, kind, and non-combative    •    How to respond to offensive or triggering questions without escalating conflict   •    When to disengage, redirect, or remove yourself for your own well-being    •    Ways to preserve relationships without abandoning yourself    •    How LGBTQ+ Christians can honor both faith and identity during the holidaysThis episode is for LGBTQ+ people navigating family rejection, religious trauma, evangelical Christianity, deconstruction, or the tension of wanting connection without sacrificing authenticity.You are not alone. You are whole. You can be both.🔔 New episodes every Sunday at 11am🎧 Also available on all podcast platforms👉 If this helped you, please like, comment, subscribe, and share this with someone going through something similar. You don’t have to do this alone.To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ Thank you so much for watching and be sure to SUBSCRIBE and share this podcast to get it out to those who need it. See you in the next episode!#LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity#YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #QueerFaith #GayChristian #ReligiousTrauma #AffirmingFaith #HolidayStress #ChosenFamily #Deconstruction #LGBTQPodcast

To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected] happens when you’re a LGBTQ+ and Christian… but don’t fully fit into either community?If you’re LGBTQ and Christian, you may feel caught in the middle — not fully welcomed by the church, yet not always aligned with everything in the LGBTQ community either. That in-between space can feel lonely, confusing, and deeply isolating.In this episode of You Can Be Both, we talk about what it’s like to live in that tension — loving God, holding personal moral convictions, and still standing in solidarity with the LGBTQ community, even when you don’t agree with everything it believes or represents.This episode is for anyone who has ever thought:    •    “I don’t fully belong in church anymore.”    •    “I support the LGBTQ community, but I don’t align with everything.”    •    “Why do I feel judged by both sides?”    •    “Why does it feel like I have to choose?”In this episode, you’ll learn:    •    Why many gay Christians feel isolated between faith and LGBTQ culture    •    How the LGBTQ community formed — and why shared struggle created unity    •    Why supporting LGBTQ rights doesn’t require agreeing with everything culturally    •    How moral standards, faith, and sexuality can coexist    •    Why the church often struggles to make space for LGBTQ believers    •    How judgment from both sides affects mental health and identity    •    Why you’re allowed to hold nuanced beliefs without shame    •    How to stop feeling like you have to “pick a side”    •    How to create your own community when neither space fully fitsWe also breaks down:    •    The difference between belonging and agreeing    •    Why LGBTQ people are not a monolith — and neither are Christians    •    How faith can remain personal even when church spaces feel unsafe    •    Why it’s okay to take what resonates from each space and leave the restThis podcast exists for people living in the middle — too Christian for some LGBTQ spaces, too LGBTQ for many churches — and who are tired of being told they don’t belong.You are not confused.You are not broken.You are not alone.💬 Join the conversation:Share your experience in the comments. Connect with others who understand.📩 Use the link below to stay connected and be part of future You Can Be Both gatherings and events.✨ You don’t have to fit perfectly to belong.✨ You don’t have to choose.✨ You can be both.⸻To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected] my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ #LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity #gaychristian #lgbtqchristian #queerchristian #youcanbeboth #faithandsexuality #deconstruction #reconstruction #religiontrauma #churchhurt #affirmingtheology #lgbtqfaith #gayandchristian #lgbtqandchristian #jesuslovesyou

Have you ever had a partner break up with you because they “don’t want to be gay anymore” or because they’re “choosing God”? 💔 If you’re LGBTQ and your partner left you for religious reasons, this episode of You Can Be Both is for you.In this powerful, faith-filled conversation, Lauren Lanzaretta talks honestly about LGBTQ heartbreak, Christian guilt, and the pain of being left “for God.” She reads a real testimony from a woman whose wife of nearly 12 years walked away to pursue a “better relationship with God,” and breaks down what’s really going on underneath decisions like that.In this episode, we talk about: • 💔 Why some LGBTQ partners leave to “choose God” or “stop being gay” • 🧠 How internalized shame, religious pressure, and family approval influence their decisions • 🙏 Why their choice does not mean you’re spiritually inferior or unloved by God • 🩹 Practical ways to grieve, heal, and rebuild your identity after LGBTQ Christian heartbreak • 🚩 Red flags in secret/closeted relationships and partners who aren’t proud to claim you • 🌱 How to set higher standards, write a vision for your future, and stop settling for breadcrumbs • 🌈 Why you can be both LGBTQ and Christian—and still have a hopeful, loving futureFrom there, she walks you through how to heal after a breakup like this—especially if you’re gay and Christian. You’ll hear practical, hope-filled steps to grieve, rebuild your identity, reconnect with yourself, and trust that God still loves you completely as you are. Lauren also shares red flags to watch out for in secret or half-hidden relationships, and how to set higher standards so you stop settling for breadcrumbs and start choosing partners who are truly proud to love you.The episode ends with a heartfelt prayer for anyone going through LGBTQ heartbreak, reminding you that: You are loved. You are not spiritually inferior. You can be LGBTQ and have a deep, real relationship with God. 💜I f you’re navigating:    •    LGBTQ Christian heartbreak    •    A partner choosing religion over your relationship    •    Feeling “not good enough” for God because you’re gay    •    Confusion about whether you can be both LGBTQ and Christian…this episode will help you feel seen, comforted, and less alone, and give you tools to move forward with hope.👉 If this helped you, please like, comment, subscribe, and share this with someone going through a similar breakup. You don’t have to do this alone.To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ Thank you so much for watching and be sure to SUBSCRIBE and share this podcast to get it out to those who need it. See you in the next episode!#LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity

Can you be gay and still love Jesus? Can you be LGBTQ+ and Christian? Yes—and this episode of You Can Be Both walks through exactly how. 🏳️‍🌈✝️In this honest, vulnerable conversation, I share my journey of balancing my relationship with God while being gay—and how I moved through deconstruction, becoming conscious, and reconstruction of my faith. If you’re a gay Christian, queer Christian, LGBTQ+ believer, or someone with church hurt or religious trauma, this is for you.We talk about:-Why you can be both LGBTQ+ and Christian-How I deconstructed beliefs about hell, patriarchy, Sodom and Gomorrah, and “clobber verses”-The historical context of the Bible, patriarchy, and how sexuality was viewed 2,000 years ago -Why many teachings about homosexuality in the Bible were about power, patriarchy, and abuse—not loving, consensual LGBTQ+ relationships-What it really means to be Christlike vs. just wearing the label “Christian”-How childhood wounds, trauma, and church culture shape how we see God, ourselves, and other people-Letting go of shame and seeing God as compassionate, loving, and not out to punish you-How loving, healthy, same-sex relationships can actually draw us closer to God🧱 3 Big Parts of This Episode:1️⃣ Deconstruction – Questioning what we were taught about:    •    Hell, eternal punishment & fear-based salvation    •    The patriarchy in Scripture and how women were treated as property   •    Sodom and Gomorrah, rape vs consensual sex, and what the text actually says2️⃣ Becoming Conscious –   •    Seeing our patterns, trauma, and “stories” we carry from childhood    •    How we project unhealed pain into our relationships    •    Why being a Christian means doing the work: therapy, self-reflection, growth, and learning to truly love people3️⃣ Reconstruction –    •    Rebuilding faith around Jesus’s character: justice, mercy, compassion, and inclusion    •    Asking: “Is this destructive or is this life-giving?” instead of “Is this on a rule list?”    •    Understanding that a loving, affirming gay relationship can be holy, healthy, and aligned with God’s heartIf you’ve ever asked:    •    “Is it a sin to be gay?”    •    “Can I be gay and still be a Christian?”    •    “Does God hate me for being LGBTQ?”    •    “How do I heal from religious trauma and church hurt?”…this episode will help you feel less alone and more grounded in knowing you can be both. 💛👇 ✨ You are loved. You are not broken. You can be both.If this resonated with you:    •    Drop a comment and share where you’re at in your faith and sexuality journey    •    Turn on notifications so you don’t miss new episodes    •    Share this with a gay Christian, someone with religious trauma, or a friend who’s deconstructing🔔 Subscribe for weekly encouragement, faith exploration, healing conversations, and LGBTQ Christian support.To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ #LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity

Are you LGBTQ and grew up hearing “I love you… but”? In today’s emotional and empowering episode of You Can Be Both, I break down how conditional love from Christian families, churches, and communities impacts LGBTQ+ people—mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.We talk about:✨ The trauma behind “love the sinner, hate the sin”✨ How conditional love damages self-worth✨ Internalized homophobia & identity splitting✨ Why LGBTQ+ Christians struggle with shame and faith✨ Codependency, people-pleasing, and fear of rejection✨ Rebuilding a healthy relationship with God✨ How to deconstruct harmful beliefs and reclaim joy✨ Practical steps for healing (journaling, therapy, inner-child work)I also share my own story—growing up Christian, hiding who I was, dealing with depression and anxiety and eventually rebuilding my faith with unconditional love at the center.If you’ve ever felt torn between being LGBTQ and being Christian, this episode is for you.You are worthy. You are loved. You don’t need to change for God or anyone else.🔔 Subscribe for weekly encouragement, faith exploration, healing conversations, and LGBTQ Christian support.To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ Thank you so much for watching and be sure to SUBSCRIBE and share this podcast to get it out to those who need it. See you in the next episode!#LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity

In today’s episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta dives deep into one of the biggest questions she receives across comments, DMs, and emails: What is the TRUTH—especially when it comes to being gay and Christian?Christians can’t agree on anything… yet claim they know the "TRUTH" about gay people. We explore Biblical interpretation, denominational differences, context behind the “clobber verses,” and why LGBTQ+ Christians have long been denied the same grace extended to others in the church. This is a compassionate, honest conversation about orientation, scripture, love, and what it truly means to follow Jesus.If you’ve ever wondered whether faith and sexuality can coexist, or if you simply want to understand this conversation on a deeper level—this episode is for you.If you’re searching for answers about faith, sexuality, and the Bible, this video will give you clarity, context, and compassion.✨ What You’ll Learn    •    Can you be gay and Christian?    •    Is being gay a sin in the Bible?    •    What the Bible REALLY says about homosexuality    •    Breaking down the “clobber verses”    •    Biblical context most Christians never learn    •    42,000+ denominations = 42,000+ interpretations    •    Why Christianity isn’t black and white    •    How churches misinterpret Scripture    •    Misconceptions about LGBTQ people & sin    •    Why Jesus focused on love, not legalism    •    How mistranslations (including 1946) shaped modern beliefs    •    Why orientation ≠ sin    •    Why LGBTQ Christians exist — and always have    •    How to reconcile faith and sexuality    •    Understanding hypocrisy and selective literalism in the church    •    What Jesus actually taught about compassion    •    Why LGBTQ+ inclusion is Biblical🙏 Don’t forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE for more real conversations about faith, identity and authenticity.✨ Because yes — you can be both.👉 Share this with someone who needs to hear it! To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ #LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity

Welcome back to the "You Can Be Both" Podcast! 🌈✝️In today's episode we're talking about how to deal with people in our lives who DON'T fully accept us for who we are. From parents, to siblings, to friends and of course, our churches, I dive into how I've been able to maintain relationships with people who say "I love you, but..." or those who simply don't accept us at all. I also read a VERY powerful testimony, that literally brings me to tears. Comment below if her story touched you as well. To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: [email protected]. To find my music you can follow me on Spotify and social media @LanzarettaThank you so much for watching and be sure to SUBSCRIBE and share this podcast to get it out to those who need it. See you in the next episode!#YouCanBeBoth #LaurenLanzaretta #YouCanBeBothPodcast #gayChristian

Welcome to the very first episode of "You Can Be Both!" 🌈✝️In this powerful debut, host and singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta opens up about her personal journey of being both gay and Christian -- two identities that many say can't coexist. Lauren shares her heartfelt testimony, reflecting on the struggles, faith and freedom she's found through embracing all parts of who she is. She talks about how she found peace with herself, discovered unconditional love from God and offers hope to others who may be wrestling with their faith and identity. Whether you identify as LGBTQ+, are questioning your beliefs, or simply want to better understand the intersection of spirituality and authenticity - this episode will inspire you to know that you can be both. Listen, reflect and begin your own journey toward peace and connection with God and yourself. Please like/subscribe and share this with someone you think it will help:) _____I want to hear your story and questions! Email me with what you want to talk about/ any questions you have -- [email protected]. I can't wait to start this journey with you and build a beautiful community!To find my music you can follow me on Spotify and social media @Lanzaretta#YouCanBeBoth #LaurenLanzaretta #YouCanBeBothPodcast