You Sigh Like Jan

This week, Moss & Kari are talking about "Valentine's Day" and being a buncha Judgy Judiths about it. Other topics include the Scorpion King franchise, Cumby's, Tim Rogers, incredibly loud birds, how great Meredith looks in this episode, lost Sbarro'ses, and some approximate memories of other pizzas eaten in Manhattan. Also, they take out their Suck-It and they Suck-It, even though they are about 100 episodes early in doing so.

Oh holy cow, we're back! We're still here! And we're (kinda) pretending like we never left! Which is to say: we are talking about "Boys and Girls" this week, and we're also talking about noted podcast listener Vince Vaughn, the Netflix documentary (have you heard of it??) Tiger King, both Men in Black AND Men in Black II, the Air Bud film franchise, and how it would be nice for Kevin Malone to have all of our backs in a fight, don't you think?

Moss & Kari are back (and sorry about the brief hiatus) to talk about "The Carpet," along with taking coffee cups into funny places, Jim being adrift, celebrating Kelly, the movie "I, Frankenstein," long band names, that time everyone was super into aliens, and that thing that happens when your brain auto-completes a thought for you. We also introduce a new segment about the Ultimate Double Feature, and continue to be menaced by a feline.

This week, Kari & Moss watch "The Secret" and topics of discussion include fried pickles, powerful narc love, gossiping and people who are bad at keeping secrets, both Hans Moleman and George Costanza (again), a very good Game Grumps Animated, Hooters, Otters, Odders, several brilliant pitches for theme restaurants, and yeah, they're back at it again with poorly researched literary commentary. Also, they're interrupted by a cat and there is a lot of audible purring which made this episode pretty hard to edit, and Kari spends an inordinate amount of time bonking Moss in the head, which probably makes for great audio entertainment.

This week, Moss & Kari watch "The Injury" and topics include Moss's inability to talk good, Kari's inability to lip read, people getting cut in half by samurais in anime, the Dreaded Butler Sentence, merchandising, when it is and is not okay to drug your boss via pudding, and a brief and (probably) not wildly inaccurate summary of a couple of Ernest Hemingway novels. Naturally, they also talk about where Michael's chicken came from, and Moss claims that he uses the term "stan" appropriately in reference to Cracker Barrel (you be the judge, I guess).

Kari & Moss are back, and they are all about a "Booze Cruise" in January! This episode's topics include harpy infestations, clenching and unclenching one's baby fists, Piss-Slop Who-Cares-A and other names of a similar ilk, Pop Rocks, and a thesis Moss has, which involves multiple criminal uncles. Also, this one is even more rowdy and unfocused than usual and we have no idea where we are or what we're doing. Happy New Year, everyone!

On this episode, Kari & Moss are mega-seasonal and watch "Christmas Party." Topics include episode MVP Angela, English schoolchildren drinking hand sanitizer, some Family Guy impressions (sorry), a very specific goddammit directed at Our Friend Steve, Yankee Swap memories, and giving yourself permission to buy a foot-bath. They also count their copies of "Incident on a Dark Street," and Moss makes a wild claim that the Friends universe should have imploded so Kari fires him from the podcast (on Christmas), but only for a couple of minutes.

On this episode of "You Sigh Like Jan," Kari & Moss have just watched "Email Surveillance" and have a whole lot to say about it. Topics include Moss's special kind of vibrating, a lot of difficulty pronouncing amuse-bouche, watching a baby walk for the first time, the mashed potatoes of delusion, the cat sitting on Kari's episode notes and also inadvertently trying to strangle herself, a totally different cat that punches and has bat wings or is maybe just wearing a cloak which Moss thinks is normal somehow, and the gritty Gossip Squirrel reboot. They also do a deep, deep dive on candy bars and what nougat even is anyway, identify the only correct response to the question "hamburger or hot dog," and determine exactly what it is that YEET stands for.

On this episode, Kari & Moss watch "Performance Review." Topics of discussion include The X-Files, The Gilmore Girls, the Nihilism Hammer, whether or not to accept everything from The Office itself as part of the canon, whether or not a certain pair of characters is DOIN' IT yet, and rewriting and retconning in general, both in television and in life. Also, they talk for a long time about aphrodisiacs and apologize to both rats and humans, and Kari is mean about seafood and annoying about grammar.

It's a special episode! This week, Moss and Kari try a different thing and test their knowledge and their mettle with "The Office" quizzes. They are amazing! That said, Moss does struggle with pronouncing words, Kari struggles with parsing punctuation, they reveal their two Office blind spots, and they make some really wild, definitely made-up claims about a certain website.

In this episode, Moss & Kari watch "The Client" and express their love for Tim Meadows, the New Pornographers (by the way, Kari's right, that song is off of Twin Cinema), blue underwear, and of course their perennial favorite, fried onion-based appetizers. They also  discuss having a morbid sense of humor, consider designing new art featuring Our Lady of the Vodka Tonic, do several terrible attempts at an Australian accent, indicate their desire to go to a Texas Roadhouse exclusively for Cactus Blossoms and free bread, and honestly get pretty heated about chain restaurants in general. Kari also has a very obvious cold, and there was a whole segment where she's blowing her nose and claiming that the insides of said nose are going to fall out in bloody, bloody misery, but mercifully, that was cut from this episode.

This week, Kari & Moss watch "The Fight" and talk for a long time about a wide range of topics, such as lying when you're a kid vs. just having an imagination, leaning into the moron, whether a certain character is still in the picture/made up/dead, getting out the red string, "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown," and several real and earnest ethical questions and dilemmas having to do with being a bad friend and self-image when you're growing up and also punching and also the lines drawn between friendship and flirtation and how they correspond to a person's moral code and also Kari brings up the paper clips again. Moss is congratulated on knowing the name of a baseball player. And also they talk about The Office, because that's what this podcast is about.

It's the Office Olympics, finally! This time, Moss & Kari discuss home ownership, whether or not dangling something in front of a cat counts as a game, wasting perfectly good paperclips, the confusing absence of whimsy in some of the people we have met and also in Ryan, sexy late night dating shows from the early 2000s, and a Moby song about which they never actually manage to learn the truth. Our audio is also ravaged by a hungry cat who doesn't understand about Daylight Savings time, and our potential listener base is ravaged by a way more professional podcast, probably. RIP our careers.

Happy Halloween! On this episode, Kari & Moss talk about "Halloween" and also this episode is coming out on Halloween, so it's almost like they planned it and skipped "Office Olympics" on purpose! They didn't, though. They promise they'll revisit "Office Olympics" but NOT THIS WEEK. This week, the topics include very scary stuff, including ghost stories related to a certain New England grocery store chain, almost saying yes, being spookily in sync, lots of theorizing about catalog purchases, and the importance of citing your sources, bud. There's also hurried Googling and Google racing, which are different, but not really.

In this episode, we watch the wrong episode entirely, but we do discuss aggressive fire-marshalling, the value of spelling and spelling bees, whether or not you should stick post it notes on your spouse, the HR nightmare of playing "Who Would You Do" in an office setting, whether or not Mila Kunis is on this show, and thrusting while thinking about the movie Ghost. Also, Moss both reveals that he doesn't trust Kari, and also tries to Olympia-Dukakis-style tell her her life.

In this episode, Kari and Moss attempt to be on their best behavior despite the fact that this isn't the Office Olympics episode they thought it would be. Some of (the two of) us demonstrate a profound misunderstanding of how DUIs work, and we also talk profound wastes of time, magnificent sets of twins (look, we'll get there), aggressive air quotes, how much thought we've given to the sexual nature of the character of Dwight (it's a lot), poop-vomit-dead-bird (we will GET there), revisiting the inconsistency of Boy Meets World, and a couple of chickens doing a goat (WE'LL GET THERE, I SWEAR). Also this episode has Veronica Mars spoilers, but like, circa 2005 Veronica Mars spoilers, so it's probably gonna be okay.

In this episode, Moss and Kari discuss cheese skillets, burrito throwing, the best performance in the episode, Angela's sweaters (revisited), KISSING, all manner of beavers, and feeling sympathy for people even when they empirically suck. We are also constantly interrupted by our cat, wine, a sacred quest to try every kind of fried onion, and each other.

In this episode, out-of-touch chumps Moss and Kari finish off "The Office" season one by talking about basketball, whether or not a day in the office is better than a one-night-stand, calmly eating carrot sticks, managing by walking around, Jim's butt, and generally how much they love Mindy Kaling. They also keep referencing like, season nine of this show because they're incorrigible and can't seem to help themselves.

In this episode, your favorite (?) blowhards Moss and Kari battle with crickets, slippery controllers, and at least one random screaming person to talk about button-up turtlenecks, funny throwing, how popular the show "Survivor" was for like, a while, and how great Foley artists are. They also start a "What Is Meredith's Job Actually" Watch, and at one point Moss says "agreeance" instead of "agreement" and Kari just sits there and lets it happen like some kind of sociopath.

In this episode, Moss and Kari discuss/argue about who's being a jerk, if we're getting ahead of ourselves, bad haircuts, the merits of gracefully accepting defeat, and whether or not The Office (U.S.) operates in a shared universe with Peep Show (U.K.).