All Episodes
The Cult I Left Behind — 106 episodes
100 - Goodbye for Now
99 - What Kyle Knows Now
98 - Good Girls Don’t Scream
One-Week Delay
97 - Fear: The Foundation of Cults
Emergency Statement: January 25, 2026
96 - Exposure Isn't Change
95 - Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Gothard, and the Architecture of Abuse
94 - Creating Joy When Life Has Been Heavy
93 – Am I a Bad Person? (Moral Scrupulosity OCD)
First Family Sickness & Thanksgiving Wishes
92 - A Day in the Life of a Deconstructing Parent
91 - Holy Disruptor: Breaking the Silence and the Rules
90 - From Resilience to Resourcefulness: Elizabeth Estabrooks on Trauma Recovery
89 - Dear Diary, Everything Has Changed
88 - The Time Kyle Acquired the Fire: Shiny Happy People Season 2 Recap
87 - Chantelle’s Story: From Shame and Control to Healing and Freedom
86 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 2)
85 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 1)
84 - Sometimes, You Get What You Want
83 - Dear Diary
82 - One Story, Two Journeys
81 - Losing Parents the Second Time
80 - Family Ended With Boundaries
79 - Mother’s Day, Mother Wounds
A Quick Update
78 - Discipline Outside the Cult
77 - Unpacking the Past: Cults, Faith, and Family Truths
76 - Finding Peace in Denmark: A Journey from High-Control to True Relaxation
75 - How to Deconstruct
74 - Big Changes, Listener Q&A, and Cult Realities
73 - Growing Up in IBLP: A Male Survivor’s Perspective on Trauma and Healing
72 - Protecting Kids from Sexual Abuse: What Every Parent Should Know
71 - Your Stories, Our Answers: Family Rejection, Advocacy, and Healing
70 - A Conversation with Cult Survivor and Author Daniella Mestyanek Young
69 - Sex, Healing, and Breaking Generational Cycles
68 - Wrapping Up & Moving Forward
67 - A Forced Apology
66 - Defying Gravity and Cults
65 - Amanda's Post-Cult Dating Adventure
64 - Happy Thanksgiving & Exciting Announcement!
63 - You Asked, We Answered
62 - Elections and Cults
61 - Kyle and Sex
60 - Deconstruction
59 - The Story of Us
58 - Coming Home
57 - On a Journey to Trust
56 - In Which Amanda Tries to Convince Kyle to Try Bill's Abstinence Program for Science
55 - Protection of the...Seed?
54 - Be Fruitful and Multiply...Like, a Lot
53 - The Six Purposes of Marriage: Completeness
One Year Message from Amanda & Kyle
52 - The Six Purposes of Marriage: Pleasure
51 - The Six Purposes of Marriage: Companionship
50 - The Seven Phases of a Godly Courtship Part 2
49 - The Seven Phases of a Godly Courtship
48 - A State Prosecutor's Perspective on Amanda's Case
47 - Development of an Immoral Woman
46 - Courtship and the Ten Unchangeables
45 - Applying Levels of Friendship to Dating
44 - Amanda's Courtship Story
43 - Courtship in the Cult
42 - Don't Get Locked Out
41 - Wisdom Booklet #1
40 - The Music that Saved Me
39 - The Halls of Satan
38 - Q&A Session #3
37 - No Sex on Saturdays!
36 - I Hate Mother's Day
35 - Adoption and the Sins of the Father
34 - What If I'm Weird?
33 - Let's Talk About Sex
32 - But Did You Cry Out?
31 - The Military and the Cult
30 - The Ten Unchangeables
29 - Discipline in the Cult
28 - Q&A Session #2
27 - A Day in the Life of a Cult Kid
26 - Demonic Backbeats
25 - MLMs and the Cult
24 - Eyes Down!
23 - Will You Be My Eye Trap?
22 - Seven Basic Needs of a Wife
21 - Seven Basic Needs of a Husband
20 - Demonic Cabbage Patch Kids
19 - So Shall Thy Poverty Come to Thee
18 - Therapy is Sin
17 - Cult Rhemas for the New Year
16 - Christmas in the Cult
15 - Are All Religions Cults?
14 - Divorce in the Cult
13 - Q&A with Amanda & Kyle
12 - Shiny Happy People Review Part 4
11 - Shiny Happy People Review Part 3
10 - Shiny Happy People Review Part 2
Special Halloween Message from Amanda & Kyle
9 - Shiny Happy People Review Part 1
8 - Four Years in Court
7 - Healing Begins
6 - Girl Meets World
5 - The Abuse Continues
4 - The Abuse Begins
3 - Gothard Girls
2 - A Harem, a Coup, and a Ponzi Scheme
1 - The First Rule of Cults is We're Not a Cult