All Episodes

Can Chelsea make it three FA Cup final defeats in a row for City?

Barca win La Liga in El Clasico - Mourinho to the rescue for Real?

Trossard goal + VAR drama = delight for Arsenal and despair for West Ham

Totally Extra: Cantona - the first Premier League superstar

Can Arsenal do the Champions League + Premier League double?

Who’s going through to the Champions League Final + Inter win Scudetto

Statement wins for Spurs and Arsenal, as Man United make the Champions League

Totally Extra: Tottenham’s trip to the Champions League final

Advantage Arsenal against Atleti? Was PSG Bayern too good? Can Spurs catch the Hammers?

Champions League semi-finals are here and a refereeing scandal in Italy

Chelsea book FA Cup final with City, as Arsenal + Spurs both win!

Chelsea sack Rosenior ahead of Leeds semi… and will goal difference decide the title?

Bayern win Bundesliga, Sociedad win Copa Del Rey + is the title race back on in France?

City edge colossal clash with Arsenal as last-gasp Liverpool win the derby

Gigi Buffon meets Jimbo and Horncastle (in Italian)

Will Man City v Arsenal live up to the hype? Like Bayern v Real?!

Where are Liverpool going and where is Iraola going?

Can Barca stage a remontada and will Bayern finish off Real?

City take advantage of Arsenal stumble as Spurs slip into the drop zone

Liverpool outclassed by PSG, Pep v Rosenior + the dawn of De Zerbi

Bayern make a statement in Madrid as Arsenal get back to winning ways

Champions League quarters are here + is Yamal the best in the world?

Arsenal stunned by Saints as Liverpool get stuffed by City

Totally Extra: Liverpool 4-3 Newcastle, 30 years on

Italy’s heartbreak, Potter’s redemption - and City v Liverpool in the FA Cup

Is De Zerbi Spurs' saviour? Can Italy end their World Cup curse?

Totally Extra: When Leicester were kings of England

Italy’s World Cup dream still alive but it’s Home Nations heartbreak

Real win the derby and can Italy finally qualify for a World Cup again?

City cruise past Arsenal at Wembley as Forest win big at Spurs

Newcastle blitzed by Barca as Arsenal + Man City do battle at Wembley

Chelsea humbled, City swept aside but Eze blasts Arsenal through

Will the Premier League strike back in the Champions League? Plus THAT Guler goal

Richarlison rescues Spurs at Anfield as Dowman delivers for Arsenal

PSG pummel Chelsea as Real rock City - will Pep’s men slip up at West Ham?

Is time up for Tudor at Tottenham after Kinsky chaos in Madrid?

Champions League last 16 is here & are the title races back on in France and Italy?

Chelsea survive Wrexham, Sunday shocks + Spurs in crisis

Totally Tomori: James Horncastle meets Fikayo in Milan

Arsenal take control of the title race as Forest & West Ham boost survival hopes

Liverpool lose late again at Wolves - could Everton reach the Champions League?

Yamal's first hat-trick, big derby win for Marseille and Bayern go clear

Arsenal overcome Chelsea as Tudor loses his first two at Tottenham

Arsenal host Chelsea, Man City head to Leeds + Atalanta make epic comeback

Bodø/Glimt breeze past Inter + will Man United finish 3rd?

Madrid beaten, PSG back top and Inter + Bayern cruising

Arsenal beat Spurs 4-1 again, as Liverpool break Forest hearts

Did Arsenal just lose the title? Will Tudor’s Tottenham take advantage?

Vini wonder goal overshadowed on toxic night in Lisbon

Champions League play-offs begin, PSG shocked by Rennes + chaos in Derby D'Italia

Arsenal wallop Wigan in the FA Cup as Tottenham take a chance on Tudor

Forest set for 4th manager of the season + FA Cup 4th round weekend

Frank sacked by Spurs - where does this leave the relegation battle?

Inter, Bayern and PSG all score 5 as De Zerbi's woes mount in Marseille

Man City stage incredible comeback at Anfield to keep title race alive

Totally Extra: Leeds living the Champions League dream

Arteta & Pep set up Wembley date - will Arsenal extend their lead this weekend?

Barca flying, Bayern drop points again + De Zerbi stays but so do Marseille's woes

Solanke scorpion stuns City as Man United produce more late heroics

Totally Extra: Champions League draw reaction!

Benfica goalie glory, Chelsea knock out Napoli + Spurs get ready for Man City

Champions League bonanza, Bayern’s first loss + Mbappe’s Panenka

Man United stun leaders Arsenal + Slot under pressure at Liverpool?

Arteta takes on Carrick in the Premier League as English clubs dominate in Europe

Man City battered by Bodø as perfect Arsenal outclass Inter

The Champions League returns! + Barca’s 11-game winning run is over

Man United dominate City in the derby, plus the incredible AFCON finale

Totally Extra: George Weah - player, president, pioneer

Advantage Arsenal & City in EFL Cup semis as Carrick prepares for Manchester derby

Real Madrid sack Alonso + what records can Bayern break?

Macclesfield cause biggest FA Cup shock ever while Wrexham knock out Forest

Totally Extra: Liverpool frustrate Arsenal + AFCON quarter-final preview

City stumble again, Chelsea fans are fed up + the FA Cup 3rd round is here

Amorim sacked by Man United! Plus Vinicius under fire + the Paris derby!

City stunned by Chelsea as Arsenal go 6 points clear. And Amorim sends a message?

Maresca leaves Chelsea, Arsenal vanquish Villa + Man United head to Leeds

Arsenal meet Villa again, Cherki's on fire + the Cherries are in crisis

Totally Extra: Boxing Day '63, Phil Brown and all things festive football...

Can Chelsea topple red-hot Villa? Can Man Utd function without Bruno?

Barca, Bayern and Inter top the tree + Fiorentina finally win!

Rogers runs riot for record-breaking Villa as Liverpool’s revival continues

Totally Extra: Fernando Torres - the story of El Niño

Will Villa end their Man United hoodoo? Will Arsenal’s away day blues continue?

Advantage Inter, Bayern’s late show - and a reprieve for Alonso at Real?

Derby delight for Sunderland, misery for Spurs and City & Villa keep on winning

Real lose again, Arsenal stay perfect + it’s Sunderland v Newcastle!

Liverpool show steel at San Siro as Chelsea are beaten in Bergamo

Huge week for Slot and Alonso in the Champions League

Salah lets loose on Liverpool as Villa blow title race wide open

World Cup Draw: England v Croatia, Scotland v Brazil + a good result for USA

Leeds rock Chelsea as high-flying Villa face leaders Arsenal

More Real points dropped, Milan top + could PSG really be stopped?

Chelsea & Arsenal share spoils, Isak delivers + can Frank turn Spurs around?

Can Liverpool sink any lower? How high can Arsenal fly?

Chelsea power past Barca while City + Newcastle come undone

Arsenal v Bayern & Chelsea v Barca headline European midweek

Eze hat-trick stuns Spurs, as Liverpool + Man City are beaten again

Totally Extra: Fulham 09-10, Roy Hodgson's European Dream

Scotland’s greatest night + can Spurs win away at Arsenal?

Ireland’s epic comeback, Scotland’s Denmark decider + can Brazil win the World Cup?

Totally Extra: Edenism - the art of enjoying Hazard

Ronaldo sees red, England see off Serbia + Nigeria strike

Bayern no longer perfect, Conte being Conte - and ten Hag back to Ajax?!

Man City dismantle Liverpool as super Sunderland stop Arsenal’s winning run

Will Haaland help City topple Liverpool? Will the Black Cats be bad luck for Arsenal?

Liverpool beat Real, Bayern outclass PSG & that van de Ven goal

Liverpool v Real & PSG v Bayern top midweek Champions League billing

Liverpool + City back on song but impenetrable Arsenal go 6 points clear

Totally Extra: Euro 2000 - the best tournament ever?

Will Slot’s cup gamble pay off against Villa? Will Spurs v Chelsea be crazy again?

Bellingham shines in dramatic Clasico as Juve show Tudor the door

Arsenal gonna Arsenal - are Liverpool out of the title race?

Ekitike's Liverpool run riot + can Arsenal halt Palace's relentless attack?

Arsenal thrash Atleti, PSG hit seven and Napoli ship six

Are Inter the best team in Serie A? Plus Real v Juve leads midweek action

Man United make it 4 defeats in a row for Liverpool as Ange exits Forest

Totally Extra: West Ham 06/07 - Tevez, Mascherano, Pards & Curbs

England World Cup-bound + can Man United add to Liverpool’s losing streak?

England on the brink, Scotland’s miserable wins + Dyche to Forest?

Totally Extra: Dennis Bergkamp - the footballer’s footballer

Tuchel’s World Cup decisions + La Liga & Serie A fixtures overseas

Kane rewriting records, Bellingham’s benched - and the end of San Siro?

Liverpool lose top spot to Arsenal after dramatic Chelsea winner

PSG stun Barca, plus a big weekend for Liverpool, Man City & Amorim

Liverpool lose in Istanbul while Spurs survive Bodo battering

Atleti stun Real as Barca v PSG headlines Champions League week

Last-gasp drama as Arsenal win at Newcastle and Palace defeat Liverpool

Totally Extra: Derby County 2007/08

Unbeaten Palace host unbeaten Liverpool, as Arsenal travel to Tyneside

A Ballon d'Or for Dembele and goals galore for Kane

Martinelli rescues Arsenal against Man City but Liverpool go 5 points clear

Rashford shines for Barca as red-hot Haaland heads to Arsenal

Liverpool strike late again against Atletico - next up the Merseyside Derby

Juve 4-3 Inter, Barca hit six and the Champions League returns

Haaland the hero in Manchester, Liverpool’s late shows + yes to Madueke

Totally Extra: How special were Mourinho’s Porto?

Ange arrives at Forest, England click and the Manchester derby

Underwhelming England head to Serbia + dream debuts in the WSL

Totally Extra: the rise and fall of Colombia in the 90s

Deadline day chaos, World Cup qualifiers and the WSL returns

Leverkusen call time on ten Hag as Vardy arrives in Serie A

Szoboszlai stunner sees off Arsenal, as Man City are beaten at Brighton again

Totally Extra: Nicolas Anelka…misunderstood?

Amorim’s Man United knocked out by Grimsby, as Arsenal head to Anfield

Another Barca remontada & McTominay still leads the way at Napoli

Spurs expose Man City again, and Dowmania at Arsenal

Totally Extra: A deep dive into Jurgen Klinsmann

Eze set for Arsenal not Spurs - will Isak end up at Liverpool?

Can Trent’s Real win back La Liga? And will Napoli retain their title?

Arsenal’s Old Trafford victory, Man City’s depth & Liverpool’s chaos

Totally Extra: Why always him? The Mario Balotelli story

Season preview part two: The relegation dogfight... and can Man United be any worse?

Season preview part one: Is there actually a title favourite?

Totally Gold 95-96: Keegan's Newcastle and the best Premier League game ever

Totally Gold 92/93: The Premier League begins

Totally Gold Champions League 01/02: Zidane downs Leverkusen in Glasgow

The Inter Totally Cup Final 2025!

Totally Gold Champions League 94/95: Van Gaal's Ajax go all the way

England are European champions again. Plus Gibbs-White stays, Isak goes?

England and Spain meet in yet another final + the latest on Ekitike, Isak & Gyökeres

Totally Gold 96/97: Dortmund win the last ever 'Champions' League

England aim for another final, Rashford to Barca + Liverpool’s spending spree

England win epic Sweden shootout + transfer talk & Snoop at Swansea

Totally Gold Champions League 04/05: Liverpool conquer Milan

Chelsea are world champions, England thrash Wales + Gyökeres heads to Arsenal

PSG thrash Real Madrid to set up final with Chelsea

PSG prepare for Mbappe’s Real + should Sarina shake up England?

Totally Gold 03/04: Abramovich arrives but Arsenal go Invincible

Paying tribute to Diogo Jota

Man City stunned by Al-Hilal, plus more Euros glory for England?

Totally Gold 98/99: More than just Man United’s treble

England v Germany again, Argentinian agony and Lyon’s relegation

Brazil bossing the Club World Cup, plus PSG v Messi in the last 16

Totally Gold 2013/14: When Liverpool let it slip

Al-Hilal surprise Trent’s Real, plus a first glimpse of new Man City

Chelsea’s winning start and Liverpool’s significant summer business

Totally Gold 1994/95: Blackburn's title, Cantona's kick and Klinsmann's quality

Tense times for Tuchel, Poch under pressure and the Club World Cup is here

Frank set for Spurs while Spalletti exits Italy

Totally Gold 2011/12: Aguerooooo, Balotelli and Harry for England

PSG 5-0 Inter - the biggest Champions League final win ever

Palmer inspires Chelsea to Conference League glory - up next PSG v Inter

McTominay leads Napoli to Serie A title - plus PSG v Inter preview

Chelsea & Newcastle back in the Champions League, Sunderland back in the Premier League

Spurs win the Europa League - who will join them in the Champions League?

Serie A title race goes to the final day as Ajax suffer extraordinary collapse

Palace win the FA Cup, while Forest set up final day decider with Chelsea

Can Palace beat Man City in the FA Cup final? Can Newcastle beat Arsenal yet again?

Barcelona win another classic Clasico while Napoli slip up in Scudetto race

A difficult day for Trent, Forest, Man United and Spurs

Arsenal picked off by PSG while Inter beat Barca in Champions League classic

Who will reach the Champions League final? And Kane & Kompany win the Bundesliga

Chelsea’s vital victory over Liverpool, plus Bournemouth’s historic win at Arsenal

Unstoppable Yamal stars in Champions League classic while Arsenal trail to PSG

Could it be another Arsenal Barcelona final? Plus McTominay sends Napoli top

Liverpool are champions, Wrexham are Championship and Palace & City are FA Cup finalists

Can Forest & Palace stun City & Villa at Wembley? Plus Liverpool a point away from the title

Barca and Real grab last-gasp winners as Napoli go level with Inter

Liverpool relegate Leicester, Chelsea fight back and Villa overwhelm Newcastle

Are Arsenal now Champions League favourites? And can Villa stop rampant Newcastle?

Will Arsenal suffer a Real Remontada? And can Bayern best Inter?

Newcastle take control of top 5 race as Forest and Chelsea make costly slips

Arsenal, Barca & PSG put on dazzling Champions League displays

European elite await for Arsenal & Villa as quarter-finals commence

Liverpool lose, Saints go marching down - and not even KDB can save dour derby

Vital wins for Liverpool, Villa and Forest, as the run-in continues this weekend

PSG almost champions as Mbappe and Lukaku bag big goals in title races

It’s Man City v Forest and Palace v Villa in the FA Cup semi-finals

Argentina thrashing Brazil, Trent moving to Madrid (?) and fun FA Cup quarter-finals

Spain, France, Germany & Portugal progress on epic Nations League night

Talking Tuchel, defeat for France and a big win for Brazil

Barcelona stun Atletico and can PSG win the treble?

Newcastle finally end their trophy drought to add to Liverpool’s miserable week

Real Madrid & PSG progress on pens - now time for Liverpool v Newcastle at Wembley

Atleti and Real go again in Madrid derby as Bayern, Bayer and Dortmund all lose

Man United frustrate Arsenal again while Forest formula foils Man City

Liverpool pick PSG’s pockets, as Arsenal hit seven ahead of Old Trafford trip

PSG well prepared for Liverpool but Real lose again ahead of Madrid derby

Fulham and Brighton knock Man United and Newcastle out of the FA Cup

Liverpool’s huge lead, Man United’s controversial cuts & FA Cup 5th round weekend

Cesc’s Como shock Conte’s Napoli, while intriguing last 16 ties await

Liverpool go 11 points clear after City win - is the relegation battle over too?

Man City humbled by Mbappé’s Real Madrid - next up leaders Liverpool

Real Madrid and Man City go again, as Kompany’s Bayern edge closer to the title

Marmoush, Merino, Man United, Marco Silva and the misery at West Ham

Man City broken by Real Madrid, plus Merseyside Derby drama

Barca, Real and Atleti neck and neck, plus Champions League play-off preview

Plymouth knock out Liverpool in the FA Cup, amid more misery for Spurs

Newcastle return to Wembley as Man City head to Orient in the FA Cup

La Liga title race takes another turn as Dembele dazzles again

Arsenal 5-1 Man City, Forest 7-0 Brighton and much much more

Champions League draw live reaction: Man City v Real Madrid again

Champions League phase over, Arsenal v Man City & Bournemouth v Liverpool

Champions League fates to be sealed as Barca put 7 past Valencia

Arsenal’s red cards, Tottenham’s crisis and Bournemouth’s brilliance

PSG power past Man City, plus a big weekend for Amorim and Ange

PSG v Man City tops the UCL bill, plus is ten Hag the answer to Dortmund's problems?

Liverpool looking like champions but Spurs and Man United are sunk again

Title race hots up as Arsenal fight back to beat Spurs

Barca stun Real in chaotic Supercopa, while Kvaratskhelia nears PSG move

Man United overcome Arsenal in the FA Cup, as Moyes returns to Everton

Advantage Spurs & Newcastle in EFL Cup, plus FA Cup 3rd round and West Ham pick Potter

Pulisic inspires in the Supercoppa as the Dani Olmo saga continues

Man United impress in dynamic draw at Liverpool, plus a Saints shambles

Leaders Liverpool take on Man United, as Arsenal stay in touch

Amorim’s United keep losing while Salah hits new heights at Liverpool

Atletico and Atalanta top the tree, plus our 2024 highlights

Liverpool put six past Spurs while the Manchester clubs both lose again

Liverpool travel to Tottenham, as Chelsea look to end Goodison hoodoo

Inter hit Lazio for six as Barca lose again in La Liga

United stun City in Manchester derby, plus Martin, O’Neil sacked

City crisis deepens ahead of Manchester derby, plus the World Cup’s future

Defining week for PSG & Real in Europe while Atleti are on the charge

Chelsea win 4-3 at Spurs after more embarrassment for Man United

Chelsea & Arsenal cut the gap on Liverpool, ahead of the Merseyside derby

Barcelona falter again while Atalanta win eight in a row

Liverpool sweep aside Man City - who are their most likely title challengers?

Liverpool conquer Real Madrid, ahead of meeting with fragile Man City

Liverpool take on Real Madrid as Napoli spoil Ranieri’s return

Tottenham thrash Man City at the Etihad, as Cooper loses Leicester job

Can Man City end their losing streak against rebranded Spurs?

Which new England players are here to stay? And what’s going on at Lyon?

Coote controversy, Kane criticism and the return of Ranieri

An incredible Serie A title race, while Real close the gap on Barca

Liverpool go five points clear as Man City lose four in a row

Liverpool top two leagues - can City & Arsenal get back on track?

Inter face Arsenal, Bayern hit 50 and are Ajax back?

Bournemouth beat Man City, Spurs thrash Villa and Forest are third

Man United v Chelsea and Newcastle v Arsenal headline Premier League weekend

Amorim set for Man United, while Barcelona thrash Real on a stunning weekend

Arsenal 2-2 Liverpool, as Man United lose at West Ham again

Record-breaking Liverpool head to Arsenal, as Barcelona batter Bayern

Big week for Barcelona as they battle Bayern & Real Madrid

Liverpool overcome Chelsea as Arsenal see red again

England appoint Tuchel, as his old club Chelsea head to Liverpool

Carsley’s authority diminishes - are the stars aligning for Pep and England?

Klopp joins Red Bull, Iniesta retires and other international affairs

A bad week for Bayern and PSG, plus penalty saves galore!

Brighton comeback stuns Spurs as Liverpool stay top

Villa victorious over Bayern - next up ten Hag’s Man United

Villa v Bayern and Arsenal v PSG headline Champions League week

Palmer lights up Premier League weekend while Spurs sweep aside Man United

How will Man City cope without Rodri? And are Friedkin a good thing for Everton?

Milan finally beat Inter while Barca win again but lose ter Stegen

Man City 2-2 Arsenal (twice) on an epic Sunday

Man City and Arsenal do battle, plus records broken in the Champions League and League Cup

New-look Champions League is here, while Kane bags yet another Bayern hat-trick

Arsenal win at Spurs again as Forest upset Slot's Liverpool

Can Tottenham exploit depleted Arsenal? And what’s going on at Chelsea?

England’s new manager bounce, Italy’s return to form and the San Marino story

Carsley’s England head to Dublin, plus Poch in the USA and the legend of Kerlon

Leverkusen's 35-game unbeaten run ended while Barca’s perfect start continues

Liverpool outclass Man United, another Haaland hat-trick and that Bournemouth comeback

Liverpool head to Old Trafford, deadline day approaches and we salute Sven

Kompany’s Bayern get off to winning ways as Endrick bags historic Bernabéu goal

Clinical wins for Chelsea and Arsenal as Everton are hammered again

Will Villa do damage to Arsenal again? Plus Hürzeler’s Brighton and Chelsea’s transfers

Nightmare start for Conte at Napoli as Mallorca spoil Mbappé's La Liga debut

Flying start for Man City, the Seagulls and Slot in the Premier League

La Liga, Ligue 1, Serie A and the Bundesliga season previews

Premier League season preview - can Man City be toppled?

Heartbreak for England as Spain are crowned European champions

England v Spain: Euro 2024 final preview

Watkins winner sends England to another Euros final

Yamal fires Spain to the final - can England join them?

England's shootout glory - next up Netherlands in the semi-final

France pip Portugal on penalties as Spain dramatically knock out Germany

Turkey upset Austria after Dutch domination against Romania

Ronaldo’s Portugal progress on pens to face France in the quarter-finals

England leave it late against Slovakia to set up Swiss showdown

Holders Italy crash out as Germany storm past Denmark

A special announcement from AC Jimbo: It's Totally Live in London in October!

Georgia stun Portugal, Belgium booed - and England set to face Slovakia

Limp England win their group while sloppy France miss out on top spot

Last-gasp Italy equaliser breaks Croatian hearts

Scotland out of the Euros as Kane bites back

Belgium bounce back as Portugal cruise into the knockouts

France draw with the Dutch while Austria and Ukraine are victorious

England dire in Denmark draw as Spain outclass Italy

Scotland keep Euro hopes alive as England prepare for Denmark

Portugal snatch all three points after Turkey and Georgia thriller

Romania and Slovakia shock while France win - but at what cost to Mbappé?

Bellingham brilliance sees England sneak past Serbia

England get set for Serbia as Spain conquer Croatia

Germany smash Scotland to kick off the Euros

Euro 2024 preview Part 2 - the dark horses

Euro Stories: 2016

Euro Stories: 2012

Euro Stories: 2008

Euro Stories: 2004

Euro Stories: 2000

Euro Stories: 1996

Euro Stories: 1992

Euro Stories: 1988

Euro 2024 preview Part 1 - the favourites

Ancelotti leads Real to another Champions League title

Real Madrid and Dortmund head to Wembley as Maresca heads to Chelsea

Man United stun City to win the FA Cup, as Saints return to the Premier League

Lookman downs Leverkusen, Chelsea’s manager search and City v United at Wembley

Leverkusen and Atalanta look to make history

Man City win the title race as Klopp and De Zerbi exit English football

Farewell Jurgen Klopp, goodbye Premier League season and so long VAR?

Mbappe says goodbye to PSG, Bologna say hello to the Champions League

Arsenal take the title race to the final day as Man City head to Spurs

Real Madrid set up Dortmund final as Arsenal face their Old Trafford hoodoo

Will it be a Real Madrid-PSG Champions League final?

Tottenham taken apart by Liverpool as Ipswich join the elite

Sancho shines in the Champions League, plus the next chapter in the title race

Can Dortmund damage PSG’s Champions League dreams?

Arsenal’s stressful win at Spurs and Salah’s spat with Klopp

Va-Va Voom! Tom Williams talks modern French football

Everton win Klopp’s last derby, as free-scoring Arsenal take on Tottenham

Inter win their 20th title, while Bellingham wins another Clásico

An embarrassing weekend for Man United and Nottingham Forest

No double treble for Man City - can Chelsea upset them in the FA Cup semis?

Leverkusen are champions…who will be Champions League semi-finalists?

Liverpool and Arsenal both beaten as Man City take control of title race

Arsenal and Man City get countered in spectacular Champions League week

Broken Bayern face Arsenal in the Champions League, plus why PSG will reach the final

Controlled Arsenal overtake wasteful Liverpool after chaos at Old Trafford

Is Foden footballer of the year? Will we get another Man Utd Liverpool classic?

Could Nagelsmann head back to Bayern and could Juventus miss out on the Champions League?

Spoils shared at the Etihad as City and Arsenal draw and Liverpool go top

Will Rice and Havertz make the difference for Arsenal against City?

Does Rice need help for England, are Germany back and can Wales do it again?

England v Brazil, Euro 24 play-offs and that Forest points deduction

Barcelona’s phenomenal week and what has happened to Juventus?

Man United edge an FA Cup classic and join Coventry, Chelsea and Man City in the FA Cup semi finals

Arsenal show their steel and Man United look to save their season against Liverpool

Big Champions League week for Barcelona and Inzaghi’s irresistible Inter

Liverpool and Man City battle to epic draw as Havertz heads Arsenal top

Klopp v Pep for the last time at Anfield, plus the worst teams in Premier League history

Pedri’s injury nightmare, and are Leverkusen home and dry?

City dominate United in the derby while Liverpool leave it very late at Forest

Thrilling City ready for Manchester derby as Everton points reprieve piles on pressure at the bottom

Enrique shows Mbappe who’s boss as De Rossi’s Roma continue to roar

Klopp DNA leads Liverpool to the League Cup, plus we applaud Arsenal and salute Silva

Stretched Liverpool take on Chelsea at Wembley, while Arsenal rue lack of depth in Porto

Bayern beaten again as Napoli and Barcelona try to save their seasons

Liverpool and Arsenal capitalise on City's rare slip up

Can flakey Chelsea go toe to toe with Man City again?

Lifeless Bayern and red-hot Real Madrid get set for the Champions League

Supreme Arsenal stick six past Moyes’s Hammers

Arsenal test title credentials at West Ham, plus a fitting final at AFCON

Inter seize control of Serie A, with the top two set to clash in Spain and Germany

Liverpool lose their heads at Arsenal while Chelsea fans finally lose patience

Brand new Liverpool head to Arsenal and why smart Luton battered Brighton

Why Xavi reached breaking point at Barcelona, plus Inter Juve looms large

Klopp leaving Liverpool and the miracle of Maidstone

Man City confront Spurs hoodoo in the FA Cup while Chelsea romp to League Cup final with Liverpool

Leverkusen extend their lead and Juventus go top of Serie A

Liverpool stepping up without Salah and why Palace need to act now

Liverpool do battle at Bournemouth as Henderson hotfoots it from Saudi Arabia

Mourinho gets sacked by Roma while Barcelona get thrashed by Real

De Bruyne is back, while Spurs battle back at Man United

Chelsea in trouble, Man United v Spurs and AFCON previewed

Another Napoli crisis and the renovation of Real Madrid

Arsenal’s season needs saving as Liverpool, Newcastle & Maidstone enjoy their FA Cup weekend

Sunderland v Newcastle & Arsenal v Liverpool headline the FA Cup 3rd round

Sancho and the transfer scene around Europe

How will Liverpool cope without Salah and what's happened to Arsenal?

Arsenal face title test at Anfield, as Nuno replaces Cooper at Forest

Champions League draw reaction, as Spanish managers continue to thrive

What’s happening with Man City? And why aren’t Liverpool’s frontline clicking?

Newcastle and Man United crash out of Europe, as ten Hag's team travel to Anfield

Big week for PSG in the Champions League and a big win for Girona at Barcelona

More misery for Man United & Chelsea - but hats off to Emery, Iraola & Dyche

Villa vanquish Man City - can they do the same to Arsenal?

Euro 2024 draw and statement wins for Inter and Barcelona

Ange’s absolute vindication as Spurs draw 3-3 at Man City

Man United's Champions League chaos and Man City's bogey team Tottenham

Can Newcastle upset PSG again and can Leverkusen be stopped?

Liverpool’s big point at Man City, Chelsea’s dreadful defence and Garnacho’s goal

Man City take on Liverpool and angry Everton host Man United

Everton’s 10-point deduction and Qatar one year on

Road to Euro 2024 - Italy must win, Republic of Ireland must lose

Napoli sack Rudi García, Leverkusen flying and PSG back on top

Chelsea and Man City serve up a Premier League classic

Man United beaten in Copenhagen and Spurs lose to Chelsea - the most chaotic week of the season

King Kane reigns supreme while it’s crunch time for Milan in the Champions League

Diaz levels for Liverpool as Arteta’s Arsenal slip up at St James’s

Man United get walloped, Pochettino returns to Spurs and Emery celebrates a year at Villa

An incredible weekend for Bellingham & Kane, a bad weekend for Ligue 1

Man City outclass Man United, as Tottenham’s remarkable season continues

The Manchester derby, the Raya-Ramsdale debate and Everton’s possible points loss

Boring Barcelona, durable Dortmund and Champions League matchday 3

Chelsea surprise Arsenal as Emery's Villa hammer the Hammers

Liverpool v Everton, Chelsea v Arsenal, Pep v De Zerbi and Bellingham v Italy

Scotland qualify, Wales win big, England host Italy & Ratcliffe makes his Man United move

Rooney, Hazard, Messi and more on your international break pod

Bellingham, Guirassy and Fiorentina hit new heights

Arsenal snatch massive win over Man City, but Tottenham top the table

Newcastle hammer PSG, Man United wilt again and Arsenal try to master Man City

Napoli on fire in time for Real Madrid, while PSG head to St James’ Park

Big wins for Wolves, Villa & Luton, and a big defeat for VAR at Spurs-Liverpool

Liverpool take the Tottenham test, the Osimhen affair and the WSL returns

Atletico win the derby, PSG win Le Classique and Girona and Brest face the cotton test

Spurs impress at Arsenal, Everton win at last and the Blades are beaten 8-0

Man United bruised by Bayern, now get set for a dazzling derby in North London

The Champions League returns while Alonso and Vlahovic show their value

Brighton outclass Man United, as Arsenal edge past uninspired Everton

Will Arsenal lose at Goodison again? Will Man United lose to Brighton again?

Flick fired as Germany manager while Scotland look well set for Southgate’s England

Henderson, Scotland and Brazil - the international break is here

Bellingham love affair continues while it’s worrying times for Dortmund, Roma and Lyon

Arsenal show their personality, with Son, Ferguson and Sancho also in the headlines

Arsenal battle Man United, fun Villa head to Anfield and Luton’s big night arrives

Lukaku reunites with Mourinho, Yamal lights up La Liga and Pulisic does it again

Liverpool and West Ham defy the odds as Everton stay rock bottom

Liverpool’s defence to be tested at Newcastle, as a basement battle looms at Goodison

Dream debuts for Kane and Pulisic as Lyon endure nightmare start

Spain pip England to World Cup glory, while Tottenham get their club back

Can Newcastle finally win at the Etihad? Can the Lionesses become world champions?

Mbappe stays, Kane & Bellingham debut and Serie A returns

Chelsea look refreshed while Newcastle look relentless

Previewing the Premier League season - will it contain Kane?

England through, Arsenal victorious and the state of Liverpool

Kane, Buffon and the return of the EFL

Saudi money and some transformative transfers in the Premier League

What to expect from the Totally Football Show

Silvio Berlusconi part 2: The Bunga Bunga years

Silvio Berlusconi part 1: The man who made Milan

Man City win the Champions League in Istanbul as the 22-23 season comes to an end

The Inter Totally Final - Producer Charlie Vs Tom Williams

West Ham European champions in Prague, Postecoglou appointed by Spurs and Inter stand in the way of City treble

City beat Man Utd to the FA Cup with two Gündoğan vollies and West Ham attempt The Italian Job in Prague

Sevilla win their 7th Europa League, Manchester Derby in the FA Cup Final and Wednesday promoted

Dortmund blow the Bundesliga. Will Mourinho leave Roma with the Europa League trophy?

Goodbye Leeds and Leicester, hello Luton

Who will be in the Premier League next season?

Vinicius, Juventus and Dortmund on the brink of the Bundesliga

Man City are champions, Forest are safe and Brighton are in Europe

Man City’s catharsis, Toney’s ban and Kane’s future

Barcelona win La Liga, Bayern and Dortmund win big and a big semi-final week in Europe

Brighton end Arsenal’s title hopes and Pochettino gets set for Chelsea

Man City battle back at the Bernabeu. What next at Goodison?

Everton and Forest find some goals and a way out of the bottom three

Guardiola looking to banish memories of Bernabeu bedlam

Big Sam’s return, Haaland’s record and Lampard’s future

PSG embarrassed again, Bayern back on top and Napoli nearly champions

Calling out Klopp, applauding Alvarez and asking what next for Kane and Hodgson?

Man City school Arsenal, while Chelsea are just sad to watch

Juventus get their points back but Bayern Munich are breaking down

The Manchester cup final is coming, Man City Arsenal is here and Spurs are sinking fast

Milan clubs set up a semi-final. Will we see an all Manchester FA Cup final?

Chelsea’s last chance, Inter’s last dance and PSG’ s manager hunt set to advance?

Bigging up Bournemouth and Brighton, as complacency costs Arsenal

Pep’s proper football beats Bayern as lethargic Leicester look to Smith

Calcio is back, Champions League returns but where have all the goal scorers gone?

Haaland, Hodgson and a hell of a game at Anfield

Frank Lampard’s Chelsea and Arsenal’s Anfield acid test

More misery for Messi at PSG. And lads…it’s Dortmund

Chelsea part ways with Potter, as Leicester release Rodgers

Man City v Liverpool, Newcastle v Man United and Luton v Watford

Conte gets canned by Spurs as Bayern turn to Tuchel

Hello international break, farewell Mesut Ozil

Dortmund top, Rome derby boils over and Feyenoord flying

Conte tears into Tottenham as Palace get ready for Roy return

Napoli, Grimsby and what do Liverpool want to be?

Real Madrid’s big week and Galatasaray’s record streak

Trossard transforming Arsenal, Liverpool’s away day woe and who’s going down?

Tottenham’s dire Champions League exit and Potter’s fresh start at Chelsea

Will Bayern keep Mbappe at bay? Will Sevilla and Valencia go down?

Liverpool 7-0 Man United and that Reiss Nelson moment

Grimsby in the FA Cup quarters, Spurs chopped by the Blades, Arsenal go 5 points clear, Fulham's incredible campaign and a look ahead to the weekend's fixtures

PSG pull away, Dortmund and Bayern level pegging, La Liga top 4 all drop points and Milan and Inter battle for second

Man United ease to League Cup victory, more blues at the Bridge, City and Arsenal both win and 6 points for Javi Gracia's Leeds

Liverpool hit for 5 but going for top 4, City struggling away and the Carabao Cup final awaits

All tied in the Bundesliga, Napoli cruising, chaotic PSG leave it late and off-field unrest at Barca

Arsenal leave it late and City drop points as Man Utd bids come in and Potters Chelsea can't score

City beat Arsenal and go top, Chelsea and Spurs lose in the Champions League and the Premier League preview

Champions League returns with PSG problems and Spurs and Milan unpredictable, whilst Real Madrid win yet another trophy

City win and Arsenal draw ahead of their midweek clash, Nathan Jones goes and Champions League returns

A rollercoaster week for Leeds, City lawyer up, Liverpool search for a spark in the Derby and Arsenal host Brentford

Bayern back to winning ways, Inter win the derby as Napoli go clear, Marseille beaten at home and Mallorca beat Madrid

Man City accused of breaking financial rules as they lose to record breaking Kane, Dyche debut win and Liverpool thrashed again

Record spending in the transfer window, Arsenal on Mersey for Dyche's debut and Spurs take on Man City

Madrid and PSG drop points, a title race in Germany and Milan's Malaise

Brighton best Liverpool again and Dyche rocks up at Everton

Pure Clichés: The Language of Football

Wrexham in the spotlight, Guardiola versus Arteta and are Man United & Newcastle Wembley-bound?

Juventus deducted 15 points and the Bundesliga’s back with a bang

Another big test passed by Arsenal but Man City are stirring

Arsenal v Man Utd is big again, plus Klopp’s landmark date with Chelsea

Napoli race clear but could we see title races in France & Germany?

Arsenal swagger past Spurs - is the Man City Liverpool era coming to an end?

Saints stun City, ahead of Manchester and North London derby weekend

Felix on his way, Deschamps set to stay and Bale calls it a day

Wolves cry foul while Potter needs patience

FA Cup awaits for Liverpool, Everton and the crisis clubs

Parker pops up at Brugge, PSG lose and Serie A returns

What is Arsenal’s weakness and what has happened to Spurs?

A Feast of Festive Football

Welcome back, Premier League

Messi and Argentina win the best World Cup final ever

Totally Tifo - World Cup final preview

France destroy Morocco’s dreams, thanks to the evolution of Griezmann

It's the Messi Show - Argentina are in the final

England exit but show signs of progress as Morocco make the semi-finals

Netherlands Argentina madness, Slaven Bilic stops by and England France is 50/50

Morocco make history as rampant Ramos replaces Ronaldo

Brazil blitz South Korea as Croatia creak past Japan

England see off Senegal to tee up tie with world champions France

The Netherlands turn up as the USA exit, and Demba Ba on England-Senegal

South Korea go through, Uruguay and Ghana go home, the Swiss succeed against Serbia

Japan go through, Germany go home, Croatia crack on

Australia advance, Poland progress and Mexico come maddeningly close to qualifying

USA handle the pressure, England turn on the style and are Netherlands any good?

Brazil bypass Switzerland, Ghana get away from South Korea and Portugal pass Uruguay

Canada crash out, Morocco make waves and Fullkrug the fulcrum for Germany?

Messi, Mbappe, maybe for Australia and maybe not for Germany?

USA & Iran set up crunch clash, Qatar crash out and where were Foden, Bale & Ramsey?

Brazil beat Serbia and Portugal Siiiuuurvive Ghana comeback

Japan shock Germany and Spain smash Costa Rica

Saudi Arabia enjoy their greatest day - can Canada follow suit?

A heartening and a disheartening day for England and Wales

Qatar confusingly rubbish, and can dumb USA outsmart Wales?

World Cup preview - Groups E to H

World Cup preview with Mauricio Pochettino: Groups C & D

World Cup preview with Mauricio Pochettino: Groups A & B

Mourinho betrayed, Union thrashed and the lack of violence in La Liga

Ronaldo, resurgent Rodgers and the brilliance of Brentford

Introducing... Away From Home

Maddison makes it to the World Cup, not now League Cup and Burnley-Blackburn

Pique calls it a day, PSG v Bayern and the Shakhtar story

All hail Howe, Emery and Arteta as Saints search for a saviour

Sluggish Spurs, brilliant Benfica and Auba v Arteta

Napoli’s worlds to conquer, Simeone’s decline and Europe’s baldest leagues

Potter out-Pottered, the remarkable Rashford and Tottenham’s final in France

Big losses for Barca, agony for Atleti and Potter returns to Brighton

Mesmerising Messi, self-deprecating Sarri and exiting Emery

Discontent at Wolves, Leeds and Spurs, while Villa get their groove back

Man United reach Zone 14, Conte’s drab Spurs and Arsenal batter Lyon

Good week for Benzema & Berlin, bad week for Xavi & Xabi

Liverpool’s return, Kepa’s comeback and Arsenal as accidental champions

More Mbappe melodrama, Barca-Inter, Liverpool-City and what happened to Juventus?

Nagelsmann’s naivety, Mbappe’s pivot and Xabi’s smart start

Should Liverpool have sold Salah? Are Wolves doomed? Can Brazil be stopped?

Arsenal favourites against Liverpool, Napoli, Maddison and the best kick-off times

Inzaghi under pressure and why are there so many goals in the Bundesliga?

Arsenal’s school of hard knocks and Mannequin United

Can Tottenham go top? Can United halt Haaland & De Bruyne?

World Cup state of play – can anyone beat France but France?

Beyond understanding Southgate, and the challenges posed by Iran and Qatar

Relegation beckons for England and Wales, plus a huge weekend in the WSL

Marred Madrid derby, Monza, Mane and more red cards in France

Managerial change at Brighton – more to follow at Leicester, Forest and Brentford?

Patience for Potter, hero Haaland and Conte’s conundrum

Juventus get ugly, as Lewandowski heads back to Bayern

Who next for Brighton and what next for Liverpool?

PhenomeNapoli, world-record Walsh and Potter set for Stamford Bridge

The Champions League returns. But what’s going on at Freiburg and Sevilla?

Ten Hag getting everything right and why VAR was always a bad idea

Merseyside derby, Chelsea's struggles and Haaland the heel

Pogba family drama and the Griezmann conundrum

Arsenal’s joy, Liverpool’s 9-0 and Potter’s future

Champions League group stage draw - nobody wants to go to paradise

Saluting Rangers, Iwobi and Isak, puzzled by Van Dijk and Gordon

Another PSG blitz and new ways of Dortmunding

Major Leeds Soccer, plus can Casemiro fix United?

Man Utd v Liverpool a foregone conclusion? And ranking Forest signings

Mbappe v Neymar and major Musiala hype

Frank’s masterclass mullers Man United, plus Arsenal as Andy Murray

Alan Shearer on 30 years of the Premier League

It's the Gerrard Lampard debate (not that one)

Messi’s happy, but Lewandowski’s forgotten

Brighton’s brains over brawn, while Man City scare us all

Haaland, Ronaldo, Mitrovic and more – opening day is upon us

Premier League season preview 22/23

Game-changing England and game-changing Nuñez

It’s England v Germany and the return of the EFL

Six second clips

Best smothered in maple syrup

Born with that scream inside me

Oh No Zinedine

Brilliantly White Horses

God of justice

The romantic choice

Strengthening positions of strength

A Happy Lion

Even long shots make it

Terms of engagement

Lambs in the spring

New knees

Reasonably interesting guy

All glamour, no clamour

We have taken their masks off

Moats with crocodiles

New manager osmosis

Schrödinger's equality

Hope arising

The neuro eleven

Fanboy hornet’s nest

The Inter Totally Cup Final 2022

Someone’s crying my Lord

The curse of neologism

Mad match too

Cup of losers

Something of the undead

Club reveal new manoeuvre

It’s them again

Throwing the keys down the drain

Down bad

Strong against the weak

Space time

I will not learn

The place where amazing happens

He means pavement

Festival of the damned

How do you slow down a Ferrari?

Mulled wine craze

Gucci towel on a private beach

Prime nobody territory

Jollof and everything in between

Fotheringham Day

Classic batting collapse

Cracks appearing

Knife between their teeth

Dirty protest

Absolute shipwreck

Hips don’t lie

On the train up to a stag do eyes

Birmingham Baggio

Eight-dimensional chess

The man made me write it

Jimbo on Football Clichés!

Counterfeit cigarette salesmen

The magic beans they sold the cow for

Pleasant unpleasantness

Soldado special

If Bayern allows it

Internonticental

Barging the expert out the way

Under 19 level

King of the shenanigans

The new net spend

Spectacularity

Ever ever

Cut the fig

A reality that wasn’t there

Flabby midsection

Used car salesman

Greetings fellow kids

There’s no decimal place in football

An assault on the rulebook

Three small little claps

That’s where the devil lives

Magic cupboard

When the mill shuts

Team Segway

The evolution of strength

Invisible friend

Apocalypse cockroach

Desperate karmic reach

Liam The Dream

Performance of nothingness

Little bridge, big bridge

Shambling relic

That incompetence very much can continue

And that pint is a pint of beer

Gesture of the umbrella

Disturbed by the lights

If football was mathematical

Dropping that knowledge bomb

Watch the energy crackle

Looking for 1p under a rug

Playing against holograms

A bloke saying some stuff about another bloke

Pyrrhic point

A stranger they had nothing in common with

Make history

Thumbs up guys

Shoots like a horse

You’ve all but eaten a worm

It’s not you, it’s me

Three handles

We’ve all got numbers

Don’t use the ovens

Collective flinch

Very expensive bay leaf

Arsene Wenger entered the chat

Cub Scout Clasico

Fashion week

Individual against system

Disillusioned Jedi

Great effort

Living heat map

Hot ref chat pot

Chafing might be an issue

German Neil Warnock

Heimlichs for everyone

There are no plasters left

Jobbing magician

Creeping flappiness

This is what football sounds like

Christmas only takes a day

Classic Como

All the Messis

Reheated soup

Watkings

Lassismo

To hell and back

Blue John caves

Fallen into the cauldron

Miss! Miss!

Starting to get the tingles

Not bitter, little bit disappointed

Power League style

It's The Totally Football Yearbook 2021!

Part bleeding but still handsome

Man scores volley

No root crops on the back pages

Wave of soppy emotion

Giddiness correspondent

DonnaSommer

Reliving Euro 2008 (the one without England)

Spiderman meme

Reduced to a screaming seven-year-old

I’ll bite my own hand

Rushing to the wrong fire

Reliving Euro 2004

Big club football

The buttock region

An Aldi own brand Pep Guardiola

Suit that doubles up as sportswear

Proper downer

Lucky for big blokes

Positive Scotland pants

A kick in the Zubkov

Coke cola

Binary solo

Contemplating the risky text

Traumatic and frantic

Paint rude images into nice images

Woo indeed

About to do a madness

Reliving Euro 96

In conversation with Pat Nevin

Five minutes into the future

Just call me

Narcotic levels

Virtual fireplace

Five different goalkeeper kits

Mosh pit ready

Tumbled down that escalator

You can’t outrun maths

The most beautiful club in the world

Table read

Transfers are the philosophy

Beef Cherki

Assembling the airplane in mid-air

Projected onto a bedsheet

Reverse Russian doll

Morass of shapeless football

Disappointing cut to the ground

When they all had the dagger

Creatively dull people

Tights from M & S

Serve chilled

Tyneside Tom Williams

The green zone

Renovate emotional memories

Tableau of losers

Shave twice a day

Incredibly haunted

Totally Football Show....coming up at lunch

Suburban retired dad

Benny Hill aura

A lively spot

Fun content, awful people

No more crocodiles to eat

You are alright. For you, this is nothing.

Colossus with feet of clay

Defeat is a part of success

World’s least subtle shoplifter

Steering into the skid

Fishy transaction

Cartoon musical notes

The limits of knowledge about football

Unconscious human traits

Everybody needs a little time away

Ultimate football destroyer

Your body’s passing you a bill

The world’s saddest victory parade

Gareth Bale's feelings

A blond robot with no feelings

This is dead. This is over

Interchangeable people from Northampton called Mike or Kevin

Seven shots on target

Caught in the squeeze

Extracting gold from rocks

So brief but so intense

Concede a goal to a coffee cup

Pathetic beyond adequate description

Like a flower put back in water

Chinny reckon

Battle of the sixes

Get home early

Bonfire night vibe

Charlie Bananas

Mainz set

Karl Power moment

Beautiful audacity

You can’t have too many Leos

Push the swag

Fallible, awkward, uncomfortable

Weasel eleven

I am the king of the capital

Ten points for a win

Be a terrible boyfriend

L’agence tous risques

Tough double whammy

Difficult atmosphere

Mirror image

Sepia tinted

Replacing St Paul

Monaco fan banter

Inside the actors studio

Existential red card

Finding Jack Charlton

High quality conversational value

Clean and fresh

Principle of ponytail

The little Frenchie

Wythenshawe’s gone now

Bielefeld denier

Consolation gol

It’s time for the big coat

Endemic stagnation

Official board games partner

Leaving your feet exposed

Pinball machine

Could he be any more prolific?

The domestication of hamsters

Wenger Unzipped

Hubris pie

Transmigration of souls

The integrity of the batter

Happy eyebrow

Reverse Goldilocks

One kicks and one bites

The Suarez future

Snakeskin shoes

Messi of the middle class

Demo version of FIFA

It’s jealousy, Rio

Money greedy piranha

Bone density

I never fell out of a tree

Arrow in the flesh

George Costanza style

Sometimes you just have to nail a Danish pastry

The common touch

Roll the loaded dice

The olive in the martini

Distinct Khal Drogo stylings

There's an omen looming

Not the face

Outstanding in their field

Too many vowels

Gary Neville against West Brom

Shouting in the middle of the ocean

A uniquely moist experience

Squirt emoji

Prince of trigonometry

Banking and smoking

Luxury Kevin Davies

Deliberate ego

Cooks you slowly

Non-original pirate material

Multi-goal ding-dong tussle

So it was all Pogba

Who’s laughing now?

Oh Kepa!

Fort Boyard

Culturally notorious

Like Sammy Kuffour

No camaraderie, no sweetness either

Backup for wooden barns

Control of the Stokenchurch bypass

They want a name on that bench

Dispensing tactical justice

Pep might wash his jet

Susceptible to a bit of flattery

Pied Piper march

And now it’s there

60 million pounds of nothing

Emotion escaping from somebody’s body

Beginning to age disgracefully

Blurry masses

Classic embarrassing move

Let’s just use teletext

Intellectual doping

The clang of modern football

Grass art maniac

Matching pink Ferraris

Sausage factory owner

Conglomerate striker

More centimetres to score

Football with broccoli

After 90 minutes of sheer hell

Get a Wim Jonk while you’re at it

Airplanes in the belly

Blobby In, Branfoot Out

Club of the humble

Current wine importer

The human can opener

Eight more votes than Theo Zagorakis

Snake power rankings

Division One rolled in glitter

Like a luxury Stewart Downing

Die Hard henchman

Dawn of the dour

Baked bean cake

Volcanic characters

I’m a butterfly, you’re worker ants

Pat Jennings’s oil filters

A few transfusions

Couldn’t defend for butter

Elongated Lionel Messi

Qatar karma

Clown running through a minefield

Siegfried Sassoon vibe

I’m not the midfielder you’re looking for

Defence and justice

Driving through the smoke

The most important of the least important things

An abject lack of responsibility

Niche beef

Full gas

Very particular about his black Diadoras

86 different pairs of shorts

Put him in the fridge

Gusty movements

Electric shock salsa

It makes a hell of a cocktail

Regrettable

A Hotel Babylon vibe

Mountaineering metaphors

His legs are human legs

Vortex of heritage

Like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park

Unserious football individual

Younger than Damon Albarn

When there is no structure, there’s chaos

The barrier to fun

Villain in a Playstation 3 game

We can’t have nice things, can we?

A joke football club run by clowns

Head canon

Quelled

Bring The Noise - Rafa Honigstein on Klopp

Their heads just fell off

Diet Pep? Sí

Schumacher + De Jong

Dog bites man

Economic stratification and an alpaca-walking rosette

We’ll need a big stick against this wolf