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All Episodes

The Upshot — 266 episodes

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Title
1

Mason Greenwood has finally gone too far

2

Roman Abramovich: poisoned by the KGB (part two)

3

Roman Abramovich: a murder every 3 days (part one)

4

Has Matt Le Tissier finally lost his mind?

5

F1’s naughty 90s: prison, princesses and pitlane punch-ups

6

Michael Jordan: f*** them kids | Part two

7

Michael Jordan: he still owes me that 75 cents | Part one

8

Ashley Cole: one call changed everything | Part two (with George Cooper)

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9

Ashley Cole: girls allowed | Part one (with George Cooper)

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10

OLD GOLD | Tiger Woods: Get in the hole!

11

Keys and Gray: it was just banter | Part two (with George Wilde)

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12

Keys and Gray: smash it? | Part one (with George Wilde)

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13

Joey Barton back behind bars | Extra shot

14

OLD GOLD | Neil Warnock: he'd fookin' die for you lot

15

The footballer who took LSD before matches (with Charlie Milner)

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16

Conor McGregor: tell him I’m his daddy | Part two

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17

Conor McGregor: the scummiest man on the planet | Part one

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18

Cristiano Ronaldo: it’s my orgy and I’ll cry if I want to (with Max Fosh)

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19

Winter Olympics: Hitler’s mistress and hot tub orgies

20

Mikhalio Mudryk is banned AGAIN | Extra Shot

21

Graeme Souness: for me that cat’s done nothing wrong (with Vittorio Angelone) | Part two

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22

Graeme Souness: he’s scared of the tea lady (with Vittorio Angelone) | Part one

23

Lutz Pfannenstiel: he kidnapped a penguin (with Jason Manford)

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24

Ruben Amorim: we are the worst team in Man United history

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25

Thomas Tuchel on the pull in Notting Hill | The funniest stories in sport this week

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26

Love triangles and landlords from hell: AFCON’s wildest scandals

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27

Luke Littler: Darts. Kebabs. Vapes. In that order.

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28

Smugglers, syphilis and a Neymar’s farmyard orgy: the wildest stories of 2025

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29

Fake Sheikh: the king of the sting UNMASKED (part two)

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30

Inside Messi’s Indian catastrophe | The funniest stories in sport this week

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31

Fake Sheikh: the grubbiest hack on Fleet Street (part one)

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32

Ivan Toney’s nightclub headbutt | The funniest stories in sport this week

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33

The Beckhams: a bunch of spicy bints (with Finlay Christie)

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34

Troy Parrott crashes down to earth | The funniest stories in sport this week

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35

Kevin Keegan: a series of unfortunate events

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36

John Terry fights to free Charles Bronson | The funniest stories in sport this week

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37

Zlatan Ibrahimovic: get the milk, asshole (with Joel Golby)

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38

Joe Marler’s big day out is RUINED | The funniest stories in sport this week

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39

Matt Le Tissier: how a Prem legend went tin foil hat (part two)

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40

I was bullied by Brooklyn Beckham | The funniest stories in sport this week

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41

Matt Le Tissier: a playboy gone potty (part one)

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42

Jake Humphrey’s curse claims another victim | The funniest stories in sport this week

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43

Silvio Berlusconi: Bunga Bunga Presidente (part two)

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44

Martin O’Neill’s Yorkshire Ripper run in | Extra shot

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45

Silvio Berlusconi: the seediest man in football (part one)

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46

Jack Grealish on the sesh in Dubai | Extra shot

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47

Mickey Thomas: Welcome to Wrectum

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48

FIFA unveil a new grift and why Mbappe is jealous of Joe Willock | Extra shot

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49

Muhammad Ali: below the belt (part two) | with Frazer Clarke

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50

Alan Sugar fires Jamie Redknapp and more of the funniest stories this week | Extra shot

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51

Muhammad Ali: the icon with a naughty streak (part one)

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52

Michael van Gerwen’s kebab shop scrap | Extra shot

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53

Serial killers and sordid sagas on the green: wrong’uns of the Ryder Cup (part two)

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54

Jermaine Jenas hits Hooters | Extra shot

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55

Cocaine and wife swapping: wrong’uns of the Ryder Cup (part one)

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56

Carlos Alcaraz’s love triangle with Jannik Sinner | Extra shot

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57

Shove it up your bollocks: Roy Keane’s Saipan meltdown

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58

Neymar inherits a billion dollars | Extra shot

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59

Jermain Defoe: boobsmacked

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60

Alexander Isak’s secret trip back to Newcastle | Extra shot

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61

Big Sam: a surprisingly scandalous story

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62

Bellingham family banned from the dressing room | Extra shot

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63

Jake Humphrey: LinkedIn’s favourite son

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64

Jannik Sinner’s Brazilian butt lift | Extra shot

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65

Nightmare on Wearside: Sunderland’s decade from hell

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66

Evel Knievel: what goes up must come down (with Horatio Gould) | Part three

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67

Lamine Yamal and Ibiza Final Boss collide | Extra shot

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68

Evel Knievel: bones heal and chicks dig scars (with Horatio Gould) | Part two

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69

Luke Littler’s driving test disaster | Extra shot

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70

Evel Knievel: America’s dastardly daredevil (with Horatio Gould) | Part one

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71

Chloe Kelly on the sesh | Extra shot

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72

Kevin Pietersen: f*ck i’m good, just ask me (with Fin Taylor) | Part two

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73

Inside Daniel Dubois' 'insane' pre-fight house party | Extra shot

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74

Kevin Pietersen: England’s arsehole genius (with Fin Taylor) | Part one

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75

Oasis: a family full of eccentrics | Part 1 (Free Patreon episode)

76

Lamine Yamal’s super seedy 18th | Extra shot

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77

Novak Djokovic: a little party never killed nobody (with Josh Berry) | Part two

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78

What Robbie Savage’s colleagues really think about him | Extra shot

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79

Novak Djokovic: magic potions and mafia car chases (with Josh Berry) | Part one

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80

Saudi football’s first sex scandal | Extra shot

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81

Mark Bosnich: it was a joke and I’m so sorry (with The Grade Cricketer)

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82

We went dogging on Wimbledon Common

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83

Rio Ferdinand: he’s da soul snatcher (part two)

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84

Michael Carroll: the Lotto lout (patreon teaser)

85

The Scouse Hitler

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86

Rio Ferdinand: the geezers were going yeahhhhh (part one)

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87

Quincy Promes is coming home

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88

Spice Boys: Liverpool’s naughty 90s

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89

Salt Bae kicked out of the Champions League afterparty

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90

Drug lord midfielders and strikers sold for sausages: The Upshot v Rest of the World

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91

A drunken dressing room scrap with two teenagers

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92

Bank robbers and porn kings: football’s craziest owners

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93

Kieran Trippier’s strip club stitch up

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94

Gary and Wayne Lineker: naughty and nice

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95

Arne Slot on the sesh in Ibiza

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96

Ryan Giggs: he was always a dirty dog (part two)

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97

Adolescence star Stephen Graham’s referee meltdown

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98

Ryan Giggs: I scored first bruv (part one)

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99

Cole Palmer’s Dubai dealer and bong hits at the NFL draft

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100

Chris Eubank: never touch another man’s bonbons (part two)

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101

FIFA threatens to sue The Upshot

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102

Chris Eubank: the fruitiest man on the planet (part one)

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103

Luis Suarez bites again

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104

Wonderkids gone wild: gold AK47s and pornstars

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105

Elton John’s grubby game of dice

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106

Garrincha: guns, goats and government brothels (part two)

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107

Was Shane Warne killed by Viagra?

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108

Garrincha: he lost his virginity to a goat (part one)

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109

Trent Alexander-Arnold MILF hunting in Madrid

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110

Micah Richards: grinning with debauched pleasure

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111

Conor McGregor ruins St Patrick’s Day

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112

I got cucked by Biggie Smalls: basketball’s batshit ballers

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113

Olympic star named FBI’s Most Wanted

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114

Dennis Wise: I’ve never seen anyone that drunk

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115

Cole Palmer’s steamy sauna revelation

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116

Gazza: dancing naked on the table

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117

Diego Costa’s Bible bonk

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118

David Icke: a goalkeeper gone gaga

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119

Mr Bean sparks a bitter sporting feud

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120

Danny Cipriani: he is the Cheeky Boy

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121

Iniesta’s secret gun smuggling plot

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122

Andy van der Meyde: I craved naked women

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123

Iker Casillas lost in f*ckland

124

Eric Cantona: a seedier part of town (part two)

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125

Serie A legend arrested for coke smuggling

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126

Eric Cantona: do not resist the forbidden fruit (part one)

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127

John Terry returns to haunt Wayne Bridge

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128

Nick Kyrgios: he banged your girlfriend bro

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129

Is Jake Humphrey a bellend?

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130

Maradona the manager: keep on sucking (part 2)

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131

Boca Juniors’ syphilis outbreak

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132

Maradona the manager: all the gear but no idea (part 1)

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133

Burglars, bullseyes, and bathtubs of wine: let’s play darts!

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134

Jordan Henderson’s Amsterdam sauna adventures

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135

Poison attacks and cannibal scientists: the twisted world of ballet

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136

Drug smuggling wingers and tasered England stars: 2024’s wildest stories

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137

Liverpool’s coke-fuelled Christmas bash

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138

George Best: where did it all go wrong? (part two)

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139

Sobbing and screaming at the Pogba witch trials

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140

George Best: booze, Bond girls and bust-ups (part one)

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141

Mesut Ozil’s mugger speaks out

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142

Hulk Hogan: sex, lies and videotape

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143

Yet another David Coote scandal

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144

Jack Grealish: the best thing since sliced veg

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145

Conor McGregor tracks down his teenage tormentors

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146

Mike Tyson: I’ll eat your children (part 3)

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147

Mike Tyson: end of an eara (part two)

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148

Refs on the sesh and Des Lynam’s saucy past

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149

Mike Tyson: the scariest man on the planet (part one)

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150

Jar Jar Bonks: Episode III

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151

Erik Ten Hag: the damned United

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152

Vinicius Junior’s sad 7am sesh

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153

Hamraoui Affair: civil war at PSG (pt.2)

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154

Masked hitmen and flings with Eric Abidal: the Hamraoui Affair (pt.1)

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155

Zinchenko’s kitchen nightmares

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156

Wife swapping and pitchers on LSD: baseball’s seedy century

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157

Thomas Tuchel moaning, groaning and barking

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158

Duncan Ferguson: I knocked the burglar’s teeth out

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159

Celtic striker’s 100 mph police chase

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160

Jamie Carragher: the Red who lost his head

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161

Jens Lehmann back in cuffs

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162

Warmongering soldiers and slum landlords: a Champions League preview

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163

Oleksandr Usyk’s Ryanair nightmare

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164

Sven-Göran Eriksson: England’s naughty national treasure

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165

Jermaine Defoe’s backseat rendezvous

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166

Kaiser: football’s greatest conman

167

Steve McClaren passes the dutchie

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168

Andre Agassi: meth, mullets and a very mental dad

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169

Quincy Promes breaks out the slammer

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170

Thomas Gravesen: i’m going to kill you, lad

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171

Jermaine Jenas’ sexting scandal

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172

Ronaldo: booze, burgers and Brazilian booty

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173

Sergio Aguero’s cocaine enquiry

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174

Tuesday Club: Arsenal’s naughty nineties

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175

Mikel Arteta’s dressing room crime spree

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176

Jamie Vardy: chat shit get banged

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177

Phil Foden’s ‘out of control’ party

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178

Olive oil orgies and athletes eaten by wolves: the unhinged history of the Olympics

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179

Lamine Yamal’s holiday heartbreak

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180

Poolside punch ups and Usain Bolt’s ultra-slow shagging: our guide to Paris 2024

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181

England’s sex scandal epidemic

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182

Narco football: cartels, kidnaps and coked-up kickabouts

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183

‘You’re all murderers’: the sadistic story of the Tour de France

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184

Southgate’s terrifying visitor and Derek Chisora decks a Deliveroo driver

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185

Naughty Dorty: a semi final special

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186

Bielsa’s hand grenade and Wimbledon’s simmering sexual tension

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187

Andy Carroll’s restaurant scrap and Balotelli’s big night out

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188

Boris Becker: the most expensive 5 seconds of my life

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189

Erling Haaland’s party raided by police

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190

Gazza: what have you done to my ostrich?

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191

Cole Palmer’s naked scare and Ronald Koeman’s despicable deed

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192

Ronaldo’s orgy and Southgate’s bender: our guide to Euro 2024

193

PSG poison and Scotland star accidentally decks his own mother

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194

WAGs gone wild: Baden Baden 2006

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195

Neymar goes too far and Samuel Eto’o’s mafia revolution

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196

Cocaine and chainsaws: German football’s scandalous century

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197

Phone sex in the Man United boardroom and Jamie O’Hara’s dating disaster

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198

Fergie’s Man United: the scandalous, erotic and surreal inside story

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199

Scott Carson’s 4am scrap and Brazil star marries his own niece

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200

Jose Mourinho: one day someone will punch you

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201

Alan Shearer’s sordid surprise and Mbappe’s dressing room bust-up

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202

Tyson Fury: ya big dosser

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203

Davor Suker caught stealing antiques and snooker champion battered by police

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204

Dennis Rodman: she put pasta up my butt

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205

England star tasered in Majorca and a thirsty sheikh’s seedy bash

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206

Neymar: red knobs and broomsticks

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207

David Haye hunting for hotties and Arda Turan’s secret sex swing

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208

Rat poison cocktails and flogging false starters: marathon madness

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209

Messi fights Mexicans in Miami and Neymar ruins his daughter’s birthday

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210

OJ Simpson: he definitely did it

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211

Loris Karius rejected from Berghain and Matt Le Tissier vs. the shapeshifting lizards

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212

John Daly: let’s party cocksucker

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213

Extra Shot: Sven’s boozy breakfast and Brooklyn Beckham sacked again

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214

Kidnapped teammates and McMuffin melees: a Scottish football special

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215

Extra Shot: wonderkids in strip clubs and Arteta’s tribute to seedy saunas

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216

Gary Neville: mini-retirements and mashed potato meltdowns

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217

Extra Shot: when Courtois shagged De Bruyne’s girlfriend and Sean Dyche’s restaurant scrap

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218

Brian Clough: feuds, fairytales and fookin’ cheats

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219

Extra shot: Messi hungry for blood and Jesse Lingard’s awful chat up lines

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220

Faustino Asprilla: Colombia’s finest export

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221

Extra shot: Jadon Sancho’s playstation addiction and cocaine smuggler Quincy Promes back in cuffs

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222

John Terry: Captain, Leader, Bellend

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223

Surprise Shot: the Christian Horner WhatsApp leak

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224

Extra shot: Mourinho’s undercover nemesis and George Best’s Bond Girl bust-up

225

F1: the stories Drive to Survive won't tell you

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226

Extra shot: Premier League weed farms and a Tinder date gone wrong

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227

Jesé Rodriguez: a wonderkid gone wild

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228

Extra shot: Heung-Min Son’s hotel scrap and an FA Cup love triangle

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229

Touré of booty: Kolo and Yaya’s outrageous adventures

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230

Extra Shot: Beckham hounded out of Hong Kong and Christian Horner’s ‘inappropriate pic’

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231

Hitmen, uzis and nautical gangbangs: the NFL’s biggest wrong’uns

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232

Extra Shot: Rashford’s miserable bender and pornstars crash Mahrez’s Eid party

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233

Harry Redknapp: he’s not a fackin’ wheeler dealer

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234

Extra Shot: defenders snogging dogs and Pele's secret lovechild

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235

Graham Stack: Arsenal’s unruly Invincible

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236

Extra Shot: commentators on coke and Ronnie O’Sullivan’s filthy habit

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237

Mario Balotelli: the Italian Nutjob

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238

Extra Shot: porn star keepers and that Sadio Mane rumour

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239

Crack pipes and grave robbing: snooker’s golden age

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240

Diego Maradona and Napoli: mafia pacts and benders at the Vatican

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241

Unhinged ultras and car chases: the wildest stories of 2023

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242

Steve Bruce: The No.1 Geordies’ Detective Agency

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243

Joey Barton: This Charmless Man

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244

Crazy Gang: how to win cups and traumatise people

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245

Galácticos: Real Madrid’s sesh-head superstars

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246

Erling Haaland: I eat the heart and liver (with Lars Sivertsen)

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247

Ian Botham: weed, wickets and waitresses (with Dom Joly)

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248

Roy Keane: shove it up your bollocks

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249

Adrian Mutu: all the gear but no idea

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250

Serie A stalkers and rugby-playing cannibals: a Halloween special

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251

David Beckham: the stories Netflix won’t tell you

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252

Sacre Bleu! French football’s strange and sordid decade

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253

Mike Ashley: Sports Direct’s biggest mug

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254

Tiger Woods: Get in the hole!

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255

Neil Warnock: he’d fookin’ die for you lot

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256

Wayne Rooney: the gran, the myth, the legend

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257

Rugby’s biggest reprobates: drink, drugs and “disgusting forfeits”

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258

Mauro and Wanda Icardi: football’s wildest romance

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259

Michael Owen: England's weirdo wonderkid

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260

Ronaldinho: Parties, prison and polygamy

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261

Biggest wrong'uns of the 2023/24 Premier League season

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262

Shane Warne: Spin, sex and suspicious partners

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263

Nicklas Bendtner: Boob job blackmail and bedding Baronesses

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264

Chelsea’s season from hell: Blunders, bust-ups and Boehly

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265

The scandalous saga of Jermaine Pennant

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266

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