57/ Into 33: A Birthday Letter To Myself

"I’ve made it another year to be able to experience this world and breathe for 33 years. Sacred gift of life ❤️" Thought 1: "let me pray Fajr first". Alright, I’m back :) And that’s kind of an amazing, fulfilling and abundant gift I have going into my new phase. I feel like my heart cracked, and with that the light of Allah filled its space. And it’s held me and supported me and comforted me. It makes me feel steadfast. I’ve never so diligently and organically felt and fell into my 5 daily prayers, with Solatul Hajat, Terraweh and reading and feeling the Quran. It feels like it’s meant to be at this point, I don’t know why but this was my time. 32 going on 33. I felt calm and at peace; I did cry but I was able to hold the space of myself alone. And I imagine that’s pretty hard to do. I woke up to a message from Mohamed. I love and loved him. I don’t know what’s in store for us. If ever. But the message felt like the right course of action. In that, it’s not the time for us. I prayed for Allah to protect and guide me, and this feels like the right thing. Whatever is to come in the future, be it me & him as new people in a new phase; or someone completely divinely better than I can imagine, is to come. Inshallah I believe it. Allah has gifted me these amazing new friends: Val & Lydia. Both of them together have gifted me with words and gifts and laughter and tears of happiness. How abundant. I do feel I have everything I need for this new journey. A place I love with beautiful people and scenery. The future feels rich which only means the man whom I will be with will be even richer. I can horse ride and gallop! I can surf! I’m practicing my French and my Arabic. I have a community! I have an amazing circle of friends. I have been enriched in life with a shared love and connection; practiced dedication, direction and patience. What it means to choose to be a good person amidst adversity. That is wife and mother qualities. I am learning from the Berber women. I have achieved my routine and rituals I have always dreamt of. I understand and feel the Quran ( my favourite is surah Najm, the star, read by Mishary Rashid Afasy, so ethereal ) I have my Islam, I am a Muslim 🌙 What a dream ✨ Alhamdulillah God is great, I feel him like I never have before, I believe in him and his power and his decree. For this new phase: I feel the time for me to be a wife, and then a mother is coming. I feel the next phase of individuals who are diligently planting seeds and are ready is coming: I see myself, I see Salaheddin, I see Iman, I see Zeynab, I see Mia in this new journey with me. The ones after will be: Val, Lydia, Hamza, Amin I feel my business as an interior designer, freelancing and as a designer with projects in Saudi and Morocco are coming. I will have my design studio set up :) I feel I will be grounded and immersed in life with the discipline, comfort and framework of Islam; the holding guiding vessel to my spiritual waters. TabarakAllah. I’ve made it another year to be able to experience this world and breathe for 33 years. Sacred gift of life ❤️ 🎵 El Buho - Ritmo de Coro Mallorquin https://open.spotify.com/track/31rapGigW1Mz6uS7j7C7Aq?si=5c7d9d1c9d2340d0 🎵 El Buho - Cañaveral https://open.spotify.com/track/1f3bamyBHYwmogJ2UZVqgQ?si=1ac3e75db40b4415 _________________________ SOCIAL MEDIA https://www.instagram.com/sarbirapreece/ My Interior Design Studio https://www.bilik-bilik.com/ _________________________