An All Night Place - Secular AA

Bruce got sober on October 3rd, 1977. Since then, he’s lived through war, loss, grief, divorce, mental illness, the murder of his daughter, and the collapse of a faith that once shaped his entire life.He did not drink. Now approaching 49 years sober, Bruce shares a story that stretches across generations, from learning to drink on cough syrup in the 1950s to finding a home in secular AA after decades in traditional meetings.There’s humour here, honesty, and the perspective that only comes from someone who has stayed sober through nearly every kind of human experience imaginable. Bruce speaks openly about rage, bipolar disorder, recovery, and what it meant to lose his belief system while still holding onto sobriety.At the heart of it is a simple idea:you don’t have to drink, no matter whatThis is a story about endurance, community, and continuing to show up for life, one day at a time.

Some stories don’t begin gently, and they don’t follow a straight line.Ambra shares an honest account of growing up in chaos, experiencing trauma at a young age, and finding herself caught in cycles of addiction, unstable relationships, and survival. From early exposure to alcohol to years shaped by substance use, loss, and searching for belonging, her story reflects the reality of how addiction can take root and grow.What stands out is not just where she’s been, but what changed.After reaching a point where alcohol no longer brought relief, Ambra began to look for something different. Through sober living, connection, and the support of others in recovery, she found a way to begin again. Not perfectly, and not all at once, but steadily.Now approaching four years sober, Ambra speaks about rebuilding her life, learning to forgive herself, and showing up as a present parent. Her story is a reminder that change is possible, even after years of struggle, and that recovery is built through connection, honesty, and continuing to come back.

Rock bottom doesn’t always look like collapse. Sometimes it looks like carrying on, quietly breaking underneath it.Sophie’s story begins in foster care and moves through years shaped by trauma, early exposure to alcohol, and a growing dependence that blurred survival with escape. What follows is not a straight line, but a series of hard turns through addiction, mental health struggles, and abusive relationships that left lasting scars.There are also moments that cut through the noise. Becoming a mother. Finding brief stability. Losing it again. Making the kind of decisions no parent ever wants to face, but doing so out of protection and love.Now 117 days sober, Sophie speaks with clarity about what it takes to keep going when everything in you wants to stop. Not a perfect recovery. Not a finished story. Just the steady, deliberate work of choosing something different.It’s a story about pain, but also about responsibility, resilience, and the possibility of finding light, even when you have to crawl to reach it.

A life once driven by obsession, control, and the next drink unfolds into something far steadier, built one decision at a time. Luke reflects on drinking that started as excitement and identity, then spiralled into isolation, physical decline, and a loss of control he couldn’t outthink or outmanoeuvre. From blackouts, arrests and broken trust to a moment of willingness, he traces the shift from resisting help to finally taking it.He shares how connection, sponsorship, and working through the steps reshaped his thinking, including his journey through both traditional and secular AA spaces. What emerges is not perfection, but progress, accountability, and a life that no longer needs escape.Today, sobriety brings clarity, restored relationships, meaningful work, and the ability to live without fear of what the next day might hold.Recorded on Wednesday 22042026

From teenage experimentation to full-blown addiction, broken marriages, and sleeping in a truck during one of the coldest winters he can remember, Phil’s story is not a gentle arc, it’s a collision of choices, consequences, and hard-earned clarity.In this deeply personal share, Phil walks us through what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now. Early exposure to alcohol and drugs set the stage, but it was years later that the line was crossed, quietly at first, then all at once. What followed was a cycle of secrecy, destruction, and survival, until the moment came where something had to give.Rehab marked a turning point, but not a fairy-tale ending. Relationships fractured. Some healed. Others didn’t. Sobriety brought back more than just stability, it brought back feeling, responsibility, and the weight of rebuilding a life piece by piece.Then came love, connection, and the kind of hope that feels like a second chance… followed by a loss so profound it could have undone everything.And yet, it didn’t.This episode is about more than addiction. It’s about endurance. About choosing not to disappear when everything in you wants to. About staying, even when staying hurts.Because sometimes the quiet victory is this:Staying sober. One day at a time.

Sonja: Finding a Way to StayFrom a childhood shaped by emotional absence to a life that slowly unravelled under the weight of mental health struggles, physical trauma, and alcohol, Sonia’s journey is anything but linear.In this deeply honest share, Sonja speaks about:growing up feeling like she never quite fit inlong periods of not drinking… and then crossing an invisible linecancer, chronic pain, and the slow escalation into dependencyrelapse, recovery, and finding her footing againWhat makes this story powerful is not just the sobriety, it’s the integration.Through secular recovery, mental health diagnosis, and relentless self-work, Sonja finds something many chase but few can name:a way to live honestly, even when life is messy.This is a story about showing up, falling down, and choosing—again and again—not to disappear.

In this deeply honest and courageous share, Abby takes us through a journey that begins long before her first conscious drink — into a childhood shaped by trauma, secrecy, and the quiet beginnings of addiction.From early compulsive behaviours and a life built around discipline and control, to the introduction of what she called her “special drink,” Abby unpacks how alcohol became both a coping mechanism and a bond that kept her silent for decades.As her story unfolds, we hear about the intersection of mental health, epilepsy, medication, and alcohol — and how, even while functioning outwardly, things were quietly unravelling beneath the surface.Through college, career, and eventual collapse, Abby shares what it looks like to live with one foot in recovery and one foot out — until a moment of clarity, born out of physical and emotional crisis, forced a decision.Now just over a month sober, she speaks with raw honesty about surrender, resistance, and the challenge of working a program while still wrestling with control. With the support of a sponsor, a growing connection to a higher power, and the strength of fellowship, Abby is beginning to “trudge the road of happy destiny” — one day at a time.This is a story of resilience, awakening, and the quiet courage it takes to start again.

(Our first daytime speaker share.)What happens when you don’t fit the mould — not in life, not in addiction, and not even in recovery?In this deeply honest and thought-provoking episode, Kate shares her journey of always feeling like an outsider — from a difficult childhood marked by difference and exclusion, to navigating substance use as a way to connect, cope, and belong. But this isn’t a typical recovery story.Kate challenges traditional narratives around addiction and sobriety, questioning labels, systems, and the idea that there’s only one “right” way to recover. After struggling to connect with conventional programs, she explores alternative paths — from neuroscience to secular recovery, and even unconventional communities — ultimately helping to create a space for people like her: the “heretics.”This episode dives into:The experience of living as an outsider — and the cost of trying to fit inNeurodivergence, identity, and the search for self-understandingThe limits of one-size-fits-all recovery modelsRebuilding trust in your own thinkingWhy recovery might be entering a new “renaissance”Raw, reflective, and quietly radical, this conversation reframes recovery not as conformity — but as self-discovery.“Recovery has been about finding myself… and figuring out what I need for my own journey.” If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite belong — even in spaces meant to help — this episode will resonate.

PLEASE NOTE: This episode is part of our "One Year On" series, two ESH shares recorded approx. 1 year apart.Alex's first share can be heard here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/32m2rqcRNARIBsM5WW8tAl?si=ezW7CNoNRaGyN3sM-PA_5gAlex didn’t arrive thinking she had a problem. She arrived because everyone else thought she did.From a first drink at 12 to blackouts, psychosis, jail, and two DUIs, her story traces a path many know too well — chasing numbness, calling it freedom, and slowly losing everything that matters. Along the way, there are moments that cut deep: a brother in shackles at a funeral, isolation during COVID, a gun to her head, and a life that kept narrowing despite her best efforts to hold it together.Recovery didn’t come clean or easy. It came through court orders, a monitor on her ankle, and eventually a choice between jail and rehab. It came with relapses, “Cali sober” experiments, and the hard truth that for her, one substance always leads back to the same place.What stands out isn’t just where she’s been, but how she speaks about it now. With honesty. With humour. With clarity about what addiction took — and what sobriety has given back.Today, Alex is building something real: relationships that hold, a future she’s working toward, and a life she chooses, one day at a time.This is a story about chaos, consequences, and coming back.

Michael arrived in the rooms of recovery in 2003 after years of IV drug use, chaotic relationships, and a life shaped by trauma, fear, and the lasting effects of fetal alcohol syndrome. What began as simply finding people to hang out with in a crowded Dallas meeting eventually became a decades-long struggle to understand why sobriety wouldn’t stick.Twenty years of trying to get sober exposed something deeper than substances alone. Beneath the drinking and drugging lived a profound sense of worthlessness, codependency, and the desperate need to be loved by anything or anyone that might fill the emptiness inside. Each relapse pointed back to the same place: an inner wound that chemicals could no longer silence.Today, Michael celebrates 27 months sober and speaks openly about the path that finally changed everything. Through service, sponsorship, honest self-examination, and the courage to face childhood trauma he once feared would destroy him, he found a way to rebuild a life worth living. His story is a reminder that recovery is not just about putting down the drink or the drug — it is about learning to live, to take up space in the world, and to discover that healing is possible even after decades of trying.

Larry C shares the story of how decades of alcohol and drug addiction shaped his life and how he eventually found his way into long-term recovery. Growing up in a home affected by alcoholism and violence, Larry was introduced to drinking and drugs at a young age. What began as teenage partying gradually evolved into years of substance abuse, unhealthy relationships, and repeated attempts to escape the consequences through geographic moves and self-imposed rules about what he would and wouldn’t use.After years of meth addiction, broken family ties, and living out of his truck, Larry reached a point where he could no longer stand the life he was living. A moment of honesty, a desperate prayer for help, and a willingness to follow the suggestions of others in recovery marked the beginning of a new path.Now celebrating 16 years clean, Larry reflects on the lessons he’s learned, the role of the 12-step community in rebuilding his life, and the transformation that comes from surrender, honesty, and consistent action in recovery.

Some people are born reaching for intensity long before they ever touch a substance.In this episode, Katie traces a life shaped by obsession, stubbornness, survival, and the relentless search for relief. From a childhood crowded with chaos, to the early discovery that certain feelings could be chased and repeated, to a progression that moved from alcohol to anything that could make the pain quieter, her story unfolds without shortcuts or excuses.What begins as rebellion slowly reveals a pattern. What looks like bad luck eventually points inward. Through loss, violence, motherhood, and the terrifying clarity of seeing what all her crises had in common, Katie describes the moment when denial finally ran out of places to hide.Recovery does not arrive as a miracle. It arrives as a series of small, often reluctant decisions. One second at a time. The next not-wrong thing. Learning to look in the mirror again. Learning to laugh without bracing for impact.This is a story about how sobriety reshapes thinking before it reshapes circumstances, and how staying alive long enough can become an act of service.

In this powerful episode, Alexis shares her story of addiction, recovery, and rebuilding a life she no longer wants to escape from. Raised in chaos and introduced early to loss, substance use became familiar long before it became destructive. From years of drug addiction to a progressive and devastating struggle with alcohol, Alexis traces the repeating patterns that shaped her life, relationships, and legal battles.She speaks honestly about relapse, custody loss, detox, medication-assisted recovery, and the role secular AA and community support played in helping her find stability, accountability, and self-compassion. This is a story about surrender without shame, recovery without perfection, and the quiet, daily work of choosing to stay present.Experience, strength, and hope, shared with courage and clarity.

In this deeply personal episode, Monica joins us from Chicago to share her lived experience of long-term sobriety through secular recovery. Speaking candidly as a dual-diagnosed atheist, Monica reflects on more than a decade of struggle with alcoholism, drug-resistant bipolar depression, anxiety, repeated relapses, homelessness, and a near-fatal crisis that became a turning point in her life.She traces her journey from years of trying to make traditional recovery models work, through discovering the world of secular recovery during the COVID era, and ultimately building a sustainable, life-saving path that works for her. Monica speaks openly about Intensive Outpatient Programs, electroconvulsive therapy, alternative 12-step approaches, SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma, atheist and agnostic AA spaces, and the importance of choice in recovery.This episode is also about connection. Monica shares how service, volunteering, community, and staying out of isolation have been essential to maintaining her sobriety. She offers thoughtful encouragement to newcomers, people who have relapsed, and those who are sober-curious, reminding us that recovery is not one-size-fits-all and that showing up matters more than perfection.A powerful, compassionate conversation about persistence, honesty, secular support, and why it’s never too late to find what finally sticks.

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PLEASE NOTE: This episode is part of our "One Year On" series, two ESH shares recorded approx. 1 year apart.Janis's first share can be heard here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1a47cgJOVHXpMczvB287tp?si=jk1kObrKT42eKs0ElwabzAIn this episode, Janice shares her story of addiction, recovery, and rebuilding a life beyond alcohol. From a deeply personal rock bottom that threatened her marriage, career, and relationship with her child, she traces the gradual escalation of her drinking, the secrecy and rationalisation that kept her stuck, and the turning point that led her to Alcoholics Anonymous.Janice reflects on discovering online meetings, finding a sponsor, navigating challenges within recovery spaces, and learning to rebuild her identity without alcohol at the centre. She speaks candidly about boundaries, family expectations, spirituality, service, and the slow process of rediscovering hobbies, purpose, and self-worth.Her story is a reminder that recovery is not linear, that community matters, and that a desire to stop drinking is enough to begin.

PLEASE NOTE: This episode is part of our "One Year On" series, two ESH shares recorded approx. 1 year apart.Matty's first share can be heard here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4VBTIblM2nEFcsrQBIzcKH?si=zPDorE3DTGuTYyVgNBxKtwMatty shared at AANP in January 2024, and as part of our One Year On series, we thought it was time to check in and see how life has unfolded since then.What follows is a raw, honest account of a year in recovery shaped by instability, near-relapse, legal stress, housing upheaval, illness, and the daily work of staying sober when nothing feels settled. From getting sober in Las Vegas, to navigating recovery across AA, LifeRing, and online communities, to teaching himself software engineering while sleeping on couches and fighting to hold onto a job that nearly slipped away, Matty speaks openly about what it means to keep choosing sobriety in the middle of real life.This is not a highlight reel. It is a story about persistence. About building structure where there is none. About using every available tool: meetings, service, therapy, meditation, writing, community, and hard-won self-honesty. About learning how not to pick up, even when the pressure keeps rising.A candid conversation about staying sober, staying connected, and slowly moving from survival toward something that begins to feel like living.

This speaker-share was recorded during the Collaborative New Year's Marathon 25/26, presented by An All Night Place, Secular Together, and The 505 Secular Marathon Meeting. During one of the 505 hours, Mike shared.In this episode, Mike takes the mic and brings a share shaped by time, honesty, and sustained sobriety. With a five-digit day count, what AA circles affectionately call a “zipcoder”, he reflects on what actually changes after the milestones stop feeling shiny.This is not a victory lap. It is a grounded look at long-term sobriety lived one day at a time. Mike talks about early resistance, learning how to stay without believing what he could not believe, and the slow rewiring that happens when alcohol is no longer the solution to everything. He speaks candidly about fear, responsibility, self-honesty, and the quiet work of continuing to show up long after the chaos has settled.“Zipcoder in da house” lands here not as status, but as perspective. Five digits does not mean finished. It means practiced. It means having enough distance to see patterns clearly and enough humility to know the work is ongoing.A steady, thoughtful share for anyone wondering what sobriety looks like when it stops being new and starts being real.

In this powerful share, Stacy traces a lifetime shaped by family history, survival, and the long shadow of alcohol. Growing up in Washington DC during a turbulent era, she navigated strict expectations, deep wounds, and moments of unexpected grace. Her drinking spanned decades, taking her from survival mode to collapse, and finally to a moment of clarity that brought her through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous.Stacy speaks openly about generational patterns, loss, fear, and the complex family dynamics that followed her into adulthood. She also reflects on childhood trauma, religious disillusionment, and the ways alcohol became both shield and trap. Her story shifts as recovery takes root: finding meetings, finding her voice, and slowly learning hope, accountability, education, self-advocacy, and the essential power of community.Seven years into sobriety, she continues to grow, create, stand up for herself, and rediscover possibilities she once buried. This episode is a journey through hardship, honesty, and the quiet bravery of rebuilding life one day at a time.

This episode can be listened to in tandem with Episode 85, also featuring Ash K, recorded almost two years later — offering a striking and meaningful comparison of early recovery and long-term growth.Recorded at the Tus Nua meeting when they were just under 11 months sober, Ash K shares a raw, searching reflection on what it meant to finally get sober for real. Rather than focusing only on not drinking, they speak about learning who they are beneath trauma, masking, and survival — including coming to understand their autism, ADHD, and the long-term impact of complex PTSD.Ash reflects on a childhood shaped by addiction, emotional neglect, violence, and repeated responsibility for the wellbeing of others, especially within their family. They speak candidly about growing up unseen, carrying adult roles from a young age, and how those patterns followed them into adulthood, substance use, and relationships. Alcohol became both escape and erasure — a way to disappear, numb anxiety, and avoid being fully present.In early sobriety, Ash describes a turning point that came not from consequences or intervention, but from exhaustion and self-honesty. Through connection in the room, therapy, and learning to unmask safely, they begin to experience something unfamiliar: self-compassion, emotional expression, and the right to take up space. They speak about grieving their mother, losing a business during the pandemic, and the quiet pride of choosing sobriety without external pressure or approval.This is an intimate, emotionally layered share about unlearning shame, breaking generational roles, and discovering that a sober life doesn’t require perfection — only a commitment to “no matter what.” A powerful snapshot of recovery in motion, and a revealing counterpoint to the person Ash becomes nearly two years later.

In this powerful episode, Tina shares her remarkable journey from a chaotic childhood in Miami to more than 11 years of continuous sobriety. Born in Honduras and raised in a family marked by addiction, trauma, and instability, Tina describes the early experiences that shaped her, the escapism she clung to long before substances entered the picture, and the decades-long cycle of addiction that followed.Her story spans cross-country moves, dangerous bottoms, near-fatal overdoses, and the painful consequences of living without the tools to cope. But it also reveals the turning points: the sponsor who never gave up, the treatment and therapy that rebuilt her life, the amends that transformed her relationships, and the unexpected joys that sobriety made possible — including becoming a fire-breathing burlesque performer, returning to USC on a full scholarship, and finding purpose in service and special education.With honesty, humour, and humility, Tina reflects on how recovery continues to surprise her, challenge her, and offer new beginnings. Her message is clear: sobriety doesn’t erase hardship, but it opens the door to growth, connection, and a life far bigger than anything addiction allowed.A raw, generous, and deeply hopeful share for anyone on the path of recovery.

In this deeply honest share at AANP, Chelsea Hermsen speaks about life with cerebral palsy, sobriety, and learning to accept the reality of who she is and where she belongs.Born with brain damage that led to progressive physical disability, Chelsea reflects on a childhood shaped by low expectations from medical professionals, fierce advocacy from her parents, and a lifelong struggle against being underestimated. She shares how losing her ability to walk, navigating higher education, and facing mental health crises challenged her sense of identity and independence.Chelsea opens up about how alcohol entered her life later than many, how heartbreak changed her relationship with drinking, and how quickly isolation and loss of control followed. After being placed in a group home, resisting it, relapsing, and returning, she reached a quiet but decisive realization: drinking could never again be part of her life.She speaks candidly about recovery without romanticism — about choosing the “best possible” situation rather than a perfect one, finding connection without always fitting in, and discovering secular AA online when she needed it most. Her story is one of resilience, realism, and the courage to keep showing up, even when circumstances limit how much you can give.A powerful share about disability, dignity, sobriety, and finding community on your own terms.

In this deeply personal and unflinchingly honest share, Andrew reflects on nearly three decades of alcoholism, the chaos it created, and the hard-won clarity he’s found in sobriety. From a traumatic childhood and early exposure to drinking, to years marked by homelessness, addiction, and repeated attempts to get clean, Andrew traces the winding path that eventually brought him to recovery.He speaks candidly about the destructive cycles he lived in, the pain of losing family and friends, and the turning point that finally pushed him to put the drink down for good. With raw vulnerability, he describes the anger that fueled his change, the role mental health played throughout his journey, and the profound gratitude he now carries for the people who helped him stay alive long enough to get sober.This episode is a testament to resilience, community, and the unexpected promise of a life rebuilt. Andrew’s story is heavy, human, and ultimately hopeful — an intimate reminder that recovery is possible, even after years of darkness.

Honesty, Humility, and Mushrooms: Sarah Jane's Evolving SobrietyIn this candid and funny share, Sarah Jane opens up about her winding journey through addiction, recovery, and rediscovery. From her first drink in middle school to cross-country moves in search of peace, she reflects on the running, the pain, and the ultimate relief of finding a program that helped her face herself honestly. With humor and vulnerability, Sarah Jane talks about resetting her sobriety date, working Step One again, and finding strength in honesty rather than perfection. She also dives into lessons from Step Ten—how justified anger, resentment, and self-pity once ruled her life, and how contrary action and humility now guide her toward real peace.A grounded, heartfelt reminder that recovery isn’t about getting it “right”—it’s about staying honest, connected, and willing to grow.

This is a powerful, raw, and deeply human AA share. Ralph’s story traces the full arc of alcoholism—from denial and destruction, through surrender, to recovery—and then shows how recovery tools sustain him even through the unimaginable grief of losing a daughter.A few things that stand out:The turning point: His surrender moment in the back of the patrol car is described with visceral clarity—he frames it as survival instinct rather than divine intervention, but the effect is the same: the compulsion to drink left him.Honesty about the wreckage: He doesn’t minimize the harm his drinking caused—family neglect, DUIs, jail, shame. This makes his recovery testimony even stronger.Recovery practices: Commitments, listening to others, honesty, authenticity, showing up, helping without expecting a return. He describes the transformation from “acting as if” to genuinely becoming the man he wanted to be.Grief in sobriety: The death of his daughter is crushing, yet he turns to program principles—showing up, being present, not escaping into alcohol or drugs. His choice to “walk straight with eyes wide open” shows the strength that long-term recovery can bring.This is the kind of share that newcomers can cling to for hope, and old-timers can recognize as truth.

In this powerful share, Jack opens up about his journey through addiction, homelessness, and the turning point that led him into recovery. From days spent in a tent behind a motel, cut off from family and consumed by alcohol and methamphetamines, to finding hope in detox, rehab, and the rooms of A.A., Jack’s story is raw, honest, and inspiring.He reflects on the pain of living in constant need, the fear of never escaping the cycle of addiction, and the relief of finally stepping off the “Ferris wheel.” Today, nearly a decade sober, Jack talks about rebuilding his life: reconnecting with family, finding real friendships, sponsoring others, and living with integrity.It’s a testimony to the fact that no matter how low the bottom, recovery is possible—and life on the other side can be beautiful.

From a Catholic schoolgirl to a crack house, from a promising engineer to a ditch in Georgia: Alex’s story is a raw and harrowing journey through addiction, trauma, and mental health crisis. After multiple DUIs, psych wards, and a terrifying psychosis, she found herself completely broken. But through the unexpected strength of her family, the love of a loyal dog, and the structure of recovery, she discovered that who she truly was had never been destroyed—it was just buried, waiting to shine through. This is a powerful testament to survival, hope, and the profound change that is possible.There is also a JEEP, and a dog.

In this raw and deeply personal share, Charlie—an alcoholic and addict with a tumultuous past—opens up about his decades-long struggle with addiction, identity, and recovery. From his first drink at age five to his last, which finally made him confront his self-destructive behavior, Charlie’s story is one of repeated cycles of sobriety and relapse, self-sabotage, and hard-won redemption.He recounts a life marked by childhood trauma, failed relationships, military service, prison time, and a harrowing legal battle that forced him to flee to Mexico. Despite multiple attempts at recovery, it wasn’t until he found an online secular AA group during COVID that he truly began to heal—this time, with honesty about his marijuana use and a rejection of rigid definitions of sobriety.Now in his 60s, Charlie reflects on the peace he’s found: a loving marriage, self-respect, and the ability to face life without substances. His message is clear—don’t wait as long as he did. Recovery is possible, but it requires honesty, self-acceptance, and doing "the next right thing."A powerful reminder that there’s no one "right" way to get sober—just your way.

Michael’s Journey – From Sobriety to Relapse and Back AgainMichael’s story is a raw, powerful reminder of addiction’s grip—and the resilience it takes to break free. From his first drink as a teenager, alcohol became an obsession, leading to DUIs, stolen cars, and fractured relationships. After finding sobriety in AA, he rebuilt his life—only to drift away from the program, convinced he had "beaten" his addiction. Then, decades later, loss and despair pulled him back into drinking.In this candid episode, Michael shares the painful lessons of relapse, the ego’s pitfalls, and the moment he realized: I don’t want the next 20 years to look like the last 20. Now sober again, he’s reclaiming the tools that once saved him—meetings, steps, and a higher power he defines as love. His journey asks a universal question: How do we stay honest when life convinces us we’re cured?Listen for:The slippery slope of complacency in long-term sobrietyHow trauma and grief can reignite addiction—and the way outWhy "crushing the ego" became Michael’s key to survivalA story of humility, hope, and starting over—with experience.

"From Chaos to Connection: Mary Beth’s Story of Recovery"In this powerful share, Mary Beth—sober since November 10, 2015—takes us through her tumultuous journey from a childhood marred by family dysfunction and alcoholism to her eventual surrender in AA. With raw honesty and humor, she recounts:Growing Up in Chaos: Raised in a seemingly "normal" family with an alcoholic father who turned violent, Mary Beth learned early to shield her siblings and resent her passive mother. She carried unresolved anger and low self-worth into adulthood.Dangerous Drinking: From hitchhiking with a self-proclaimed murderer (while sharing a bottle of liquor) to flagging down cops to change her flat tire during a DUI, Mary Beth’s drinking was reckless—yet she denied her alcoholism until a seizure during self-detox forced a reckoning.The Gift of Desperation: After a DUI and a moment of clarity (fearing she’d die drunk in her new home), she called AA. A kind stranger named Joe listened without judgment, and she attended her first meeting—skeptical but willing.AA’s Lifeline: From baking cakes daily to stay busy (and feeding entire meetings) to confronting old-timers who criticized her outreach, Mary Beth found purpose in service. She embraced a higher power she calls "Harvey"—a humorous, forgiving presence that guides her.Healing Relationships: Sobriety helped her reconcile with her parents, understanding their flaws with compassion. Today, she tends to her aging mother with love, free from resentment.Key Quote:"Our very lives as ex-problem drinkers depend upon the constant thought of others—not convenient, constant."Mary Beth’s story is a testament to transformation through AA’s steps, service, and spiritual connection. Her wit and wisdom remind us that recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, laughing at ourselves, and helping others along the way.Episode Note: This share is a reminder that recovery begins when we stop running from ourselves. Mary Beth’s journey—from geographic cures to genuine connection—will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt "less than" or struggled to surrender.

In this deeply personal and reflective episode, we hear from Chris — a member whose story reminds us that healing rarely follows a straight line. Chris shares his early experiences with alcohol, how it became both a refuge and a destructive force, and how a complicated relationship with his father shaped his understanding of connection, masculinity, and emotional survival.Though his share is cut short by a sudden family emergency, we’ve chosen to present it exactly as it unfolded — a quiet reminder that sobriety doesn’t pause life’s interruptions, but rather equips us to face them with clarity and courage. In the spirit of Marshall McLuhan, the medium is the message.This episode stands not only as a testament to personal growth but also as a snapshot of life in motion — honest, unfinished, and undeniably real.

Alyssha: Show Up, Stay Sober, Be HonestIn this powerful and unflinchingly honest share, Alyssha opens up about the realities of recovery after her first year of sobriety—navigating grief, motherhood, relationships, and the slow unravelling of deeply rooted survival mechanisms. From the loss of her father just before her first sober anniversary to the heartbreak of losing her husband and becoming a single parent to six children, Alyssha reflects on how the rooms of AA, her sponsor, and her home group kept her grounded through unimaginable pain.She talks about discovering uncomfortable truths through her fourth and fifth steps—about cheating, emotional dependence, and resenting motherhood—and how even years into recovery, more is still revealed. Alyssha’s story reminds us that sobriety isn’t perfection; it’s about growth, willingness, and showing up when you want to run.Whether you're in early recovery or decades sober, this episode offers wisdom, humor, and deep humanity. Alyssha shows us how to stay honest, stay connected, and—above all—keep coming back.

The Best Gift I Ever Gave Myself – Maggie’s Story of SobrietyIn this powerful and deeply personal episode, Maggie shares her journey through addiction and recovery. From her first drink at 15 to waking up in treatment on her 38th birthday, she recounts how alcohol and Adderall gradually took over her life—despite a successful career, a loving family, and everything to live for. Maggie speaks candidly about denial, near-death experiences, the shame of relapse, and the turning point that finally led her to choose sobriety. Her story is a raw, honest look at the insidious nature of addiction—and the freedom and hope found in recovery.

From Rock Bottom to Redemption: A Raw Journey Through Alcoholism and RecoveryIn this gripping and unfiltered episode, Luke shares his harrowing descent into alcoholism—from romanticizing the 'tortured artist' lifestyle to waking up covered in spit, blood, and regret. He recounts the delusions that kept him drinking (thinking booze made him 'more interesting'), the isolation of hiding bottles in his mother’s house, and the terrifying reality of withdrawals and DUIs. After hitting a breaking point—willing to live in a 'metal box' if it meant escaping the mental prison of addiction—he finally surrenders to AA.With brutal honesty, Luke reveals the messy, non-linear path of recovery: relapsing on Thanksgiving, the humility of calling his sponsor, and the slow, transformative power of accountability and the 12 Steps. Today, he’s sober, married, traveling the world, and even bought a race car—proof that recovery isn’t just survival, but a life beyond his wildest dreams.A must-listen for anyone struggling with addiction or seeking hope in the chaos."

Recorded on 14 May 2025In this moving AA share, Ash K reflects on recently passing the 1,000-day sobriety milestone — a journey marked not just by abstinence, but by profound personal growth. With clarity and grace, she opens up about one of the hardest decisions she’s had to make in her relationship — a step that seemed impossible until she chose to honour her truth. Once she found the courage to be authentic, what once felt difficult became surprisingly simple. This is a story about honesty, healing, and the quiet power of becoming who you truly are.

Recorded on 28 May 2025In this raw and emotional share, Phill recounts his harrowing journey through addiction—from teenage drinking to meth dependency, lost marriages, and criminal threats. He describes the manipulative cycles of addiction, the heartbreak he inflicted on his wife, and the moment he hit rock bottom: jobless, homeless, and facing an EPO. A desperate call to rehab (after showing up late) became his lifeline. Though initially motivated by family reconciliation, Phill ultimately chose sobriety for himself. Now, despite a painful separation, his daughter keeps him anchored to recovery. A testament to resilience, accountability, and the power of second chances.

Recorded 7 May 2025In this powerful share, Jeff Taylor—an alcoholic with 38 years of sobriety—reflects on his journey from traditional AA to secular recovery. He discusses how Alcoholics Anonymous gave him "wings to fly," then took away the sky, and how he found freedom by embracing a non-theistic approach. Jeff opens up about childhood trauma, bipolar disorder, failed relationships, and the healing power of community. He highlights AA’s core principles—First Things First, Live and Let Live, Easy Does It—while challenging dogma and advocating for inclusivity. A raw, inspiring story of resilience, self-discovery, and the transformative power of sobriety.

Recorded on Wednesday 18 June 2025In this moving episode, Jill shares an intense life experience — at times harrowing, at times uplifting, but always deeply sobering. With remarkable humility and courage, she takes us through moments that challenged her spirit and reshaped her path.What unfolds is not just a personal story, but a universal one: of pain, perseverance, and profound transformation. Jill doesn’t flinch from the hard truths — yet she brings light into the dark corners with grace, wit, and a quiet strength that will leave you thinking long after the episode ends.An unforgettable listen for anyone navigating recovery, change, or simply being human.

Recorded on 3/19/2025 Speaker : Jennifer

As Bek stepped doewn from her shift in charge of the AANP Speaker Meeting, she left us with her own stor.Take a listen.Recorded 26 March 2025IMAGE CREDIT: episode photo @sidthevisualkid

"It started just after 9am on a Tuesday morning..."From that inauspicious start, Dave shares his story that was about to reach the 2 years of sobriety mark just after this was recorded.RECORDED: 24 April 2025Dave had also shared about a year earlier. Might be an interesting companion-listen to this one?https://open.spotify.com/episode/5J4yYR0V5hDraWLlH83hFw?si=RzlOwzqpTgWyV43uDI304A

[RAVEN also shared back in 2023 - it might be an idea to listen to that share before this one? https://open.spotify.com/episode/0mrJOXfWA8VFlzVPPP0WVC?si=_U3Y404jRoGwzx0lcw-KqQAANP's very own Cat-Herder, and Tarot Tuesdayer steps up to the podium to share with us the twists and turns of a life that could've turned out very differently, but eventually lead to sobriety.Buckle up.RECORDED: 17 April 2025

Becca catches us up on her first 6 months in this episode of BEYOND THE BOTTLE.Recorded on 3/7/2025Becca - 6 Months Milestone

Recorded on 13 March 2025Kevin’s Story – From Chaos to ClarityKevin’s journey through addiction is a raw, unfiltered odyssey of survival—from childhood trauma and violent family dynamics to sexual abuse, homelessness, and near-fatal overdoses. Growing up in a volatile home with alcoholic parents, he found temporary escape in drugs and alcohol by age 14, spiraling into cocaine, pills, and reckless behavior. Multiple suicide attempts, rehab stints, and a harrowing 0.47 BAC blackout that nearly killed him marked his rock bottom. After losing his wife to cancer and his mother shortly after, Kevin finally embraced sobriety through secular AA, finding solace in a community that accepts his atheism. Now facing chronic health issues and family struggles, he clings to one truth: Sobriety doesn’t promise a perfect life—just a fighting chance.

Amber discusses her 1 Year Milestone in this episode of BEYOND THE BOTTLE

Recorded on 2/26/2025Speaker : Kyle

Recorded on 2/11/2025Speaker : Rexi

Recorded on 2/5/2025Speaker : Heidi

Recorded on 1/22/2025 Speaker : Matt M

PLEASE NOTE: This episode is part of our "One Year On" Series, two ESH shares recorded approx. 1 year apart.After you've listened to this episode, you may want to listen to the follow-up, available here:https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ovGRPk8X3t042ydx8W5hf?si=rLooGAHHTjuYp975E3oBJQRecorded on 1/15/2025Speaker : Janis