🔥 Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!

What happens when an ex-SWAT officer and first-responder chaplain arrives at the rites, only to find that the hardest part is holding space for other men trying to "fix" him?In this twenty-first episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Matt Domyancic for an incredibly raw and unique conversation about his initiation in Big Bear, California. Matt shares his perspective as a high-alpha, former football player and cop who had already spent decades diving into psychoanalysis, silent retreats, and spiritual direction before arriving at the rites.Episode HighlightsThe Helper's High: Why men need to trade their desire to "fix" others for an experience of mystery and awe.The Myth of the Father Wound: Matt's experience of being pushed to manufacture trauma, and the beauty of honoring a good father.True Inner Work: Why shooting guns, crawling in the mud, and doing cold plunges isn't the deeper spiritual work men actually need.Butterflies in Formation: A powerful sports psychology lesson on jumping off the platform and embracing communal vulnerability.Episode Specific LinksMatt Domyancic:https://www.tacticalchaplain.comhttps://www.instagram.com/thinbluelinespiritualityhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-domyancic-b7203b6"Helping, Fixing or Serving?" by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD:https://www.dailygood.org/story/218/helping-fixing-or-serving-rachel-naomi-remen-mdLinks & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Matt Domyancic for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man searching for a "mystical" vision in the desert instead discovers a hidden, intergenerational wound—and decides to end his family's lineage of pain with a single pound of his fist?In this twentieth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Bill McElroy for a powerful conversation about his 2004 initiation at Ghost Ranch, New Mexico. Bill reflects on his spiritual journey leading up to the desert and speaks openly about redefining masculinity. Whether you are carrying the weight of a "father hunger" or simply looking for men to walk shoulder-to-shoulder with in the second half of life, Bill's story is a brilliant reminder to trust your intuition and enter the sacred container.Episode HighlightsNo Kings in My Life: How discovering the four masculine archetypes made Bill realize he lacked mature male mentors."It Stops With Me": The powerful moment in a grief ritual where Bill took on the pain of his patriarchal lineage and dropped to his knees.Beyond John Wayne: Unlearning the toxic toughness of popular culture to embrace a healthy masculinity that is present and generative for others.Shoulder-to-Shoulder: Why Bill continues to return to the rites year after year as an elder, setting up chairs and holding the space for new men.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/app“Healing” by D. H. Lawrence: https://justiceconversation.org/2018/12/28/healing-by-d-h-lawrence Illuman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpFrom Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmjBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Bill McElroy for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a stressed-out doctoral student, given just three weeks to save his academic career, finds himself completely unplugged in the desert and invited to dismantle his ego?In this nineteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Doug Shirley for a profound conversation about his 2016 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon. Doug, an academic, therapist, and convener for Awaken 2026, shares how he arrived at the rites "freaked out" after his dissertation extension was denied, searching for a "flashy" spiritual experience to stroke his intact ego.Doug speaks with raw honesty about the unglamorous reality of real growth—joking that transformation usually "sucks ass" in the moment—and recounts how a timely intervention from a brother kept him from quitting early. Episode HighlightsThe Dissertation Crisis: Arriving in the desert unplugged and under immense pressure from a looming academic deadline.Transformation Isn't Pretty: Confronting the feeling of being an impostor in ritual and realizing that profound shifts often feel like longing and disruption.The River Intervention: How a firm nudge from a trusted brother stopped Doug from packing it in and going home.The "We" of Masculinity: Moving past the idea of a singular masculine ideal to discover the sacred rhythms that exist shoulder-to-shoulder in community.Surprised by Support: Entering the rites expecting judgment and puffed-up chests, only to find an overwhelming environment of love.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpFrom Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmjBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Doug Shirley for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man is told by Father Richard Rohr that he isn't "old enough" to have a profound spiritual experience, only to realize exactly what he meant thirty years later?In this eighteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Tom Melancon for a fascinating look at his lifelong spiritual journey. Tom, a recently retired federal mediator from Seattle, first attended retreats with Richard Rohr in the early 1990s, but it wasn't until he made his official rites at Sky Camp in Oregon at age 64 that he fully experienced the deep transformation he had been seeking. Tom speaks openly about his 24-year journey in 12-step recovery and the beautiful parallels between recovery mentorship and the open spirituality of Illuman. Whether you are navigating the transition into retirement or looking for a healthier path for the young men in your life, Tom's story is a brilliant testament to trusting the long arc of your own spiritual growth. Episode Highlights"You're Not Old Enough": A breakfast conversation with Richard Rohr in the 90s that finally made sense three decades later.Jumping Off the Tower: Embracing the metaphor of building a career of accomplishments and then finding the courage to jump.The Posse: How volunteering for a ritual on the very first day led to a deep bond with a group of brothers.A State of Grace: Walking in a "liminal space" for months after the rites, where the world simply looked and sounded different.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpFrom Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmjBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Tom Melancon for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a spiritually exhausted first responder, hoping for a magical message from God, discovers that true initiation is actually an invitation into human wholeness?In this seventeenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Brody Fulk for an insightful conversation about his 2024 initiation at Deroche in British Columbia, Canada. Brody arrived at the rites physically and spiritually exhausted from juggling two jobs, seeking internal peace and a radical shift in his thinking.Brody speaks candidly about confronting his fear of "cults" and letting go of the expectation that God would simply hand him all the answers. He discusses how a tragic call as a first responder eventually led him to Illuman. From moving past the Hollywood model of a man to embracing the guidance of wise elders, Brody's story is a profound reminder of the power of community.Episode HighlightsThe First Canadian Rites: Overlooking the Fraser Valley and experiencing the massive, mossy forests of the Pacific Northwest.Cults and Expectations: Confronting fears of manipulation and letting go of the desire for a "magical" divine message.A Shift in Harmony: How the rites awakened an appreciation for poetry and transformed his relationship with playing the guitar.Redefining Masculinity: Moving away from the Hollywood provider model to an integrated sense of human wholeness.The Need for Elders: Brody's heartfelt advice for younger men to find wise voices they can trust .Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpFrom Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmjBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Brody Fulk for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Donovan Vicha.What happens when a man who spent 45 years carrying the pain of his father's rejection finally shatters the past to discover he is the "possibility of love, joy, and wonder"?In this sixteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Rich Horton for a deeply moving conversation about his 2014 initiation at Pilgrim Park, Illinois. Rich arrived at the rites in his early 70s seeking to navigate a crossroads in his retirement. He shares the profound sense of welcome he felt on the first night—a deep acceptance he hadn't fully experienced since coming out as a gay man in 1989.Rich reflects on the visceral experience of breaking a mirror to shatter his past, and speaks candidly about healing from the emotional wound of being told his father "didn't want a sissy for his sons". From finding his daily spirit guide in a red cardinal to honoring the memory of a recently passed brother, Rich's story highlights the transformative power of a welcoming, shoulder-to-shoulder male community.Episode HighlightsThe Welcome of the Drum: Finding immediate acceptance and safety as a gay man entering the rites.Shattering the Past: The profound impact of the broken mirror ritual and looking into the eyes of other men.Overcoming the "Sissy" Wound: Healing from a father's painful words after 45 years.Love, Joy, and Wonder: A moment of meditation in the trees that defined his soul's true nature.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpFrom Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmjBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Rich Horton for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man in formation to become clergy realizes his chosen spiritual path is lacking something essential because it isn't speaking to him as a man?In this fifteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Rich Gierak for an engaging conversation about his 2006 initiation at Ghost Ranch, New Mexico. Rich shares how he embarked on a three-day motorcycle ride to reach the rites, intentionally setting aside expectations to embrace a "beginner's mind" and going "all in" on the experience.Rich speaks with insight about transitioning from the boyhood foundational skills of the Scouts into a mature, adult understanding of masculinity. From reading Richard Rohr on a church retreat to helping establish the Northern California chapter of Illuman, Rich’s story highlights why winning stops teaching us anything in the second half of life, and why a healthy male identity must be nurtured shoulder-to-shoulder with other men.Episode HighlightsThe Wild Man's Journey: How a book read on a church retreat sparked a 20-year involvement with men's initiation.The Motorcycle Pilgrimage: Setting the intentions of an open heart and a "beginner's mind" during a three-day ride to Ghost Ranch.Beyond the Boys: Transitioning from the valuable lessons of the Boy Scouts into the deeper work of mature adult masculinity.Iron Sharpens Iron: Why a healthy male identity must be nurtured in the shoulder-to-shoulder company of other men.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpFrom Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmjBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Rich Gierak for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when an Enneagram 7 psychotherapist who has spent his life running from grief finds himself howling in the desert, realizing he needs to trade his "rock-hard" exterior for a fleshy, fertile heart?In this fourteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Jeffrey Batstone for a profound conversation about his 2016 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon. Jeffrey shares how he arrived at the rites as a curious young father and therapist, only to be "manhandled" and turned upside down by a wild God. He reflects on the archetypal symbol he received during his solitude—a rock cracking open with water pouring out—and how that image has evolved over a decade from jagged stone to a soft, open solar plexus.Episode HighlightsThe Cracking Rock: How an archetypal image of water pouring from stone guided a decade of inner transformation.The Dropkick of God: Embracing the hard, meaningful, and gentle process of being turned upside down.Birthing Grief: Moving through physical postures to release decades of unwept tears and howling madness.Locking Horns: The powerful moment of pushing against a brother before finally allowing himself to fall apart and be held.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpFrom Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmjDr. Jeffrey Batstone: WaterWays Psychotherapy: https://waterwaystherapy.comBrian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Jeffrey Batstone for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when an intellectual Enneagram 5 complains to Father Richard Rohr about sleeping on a one-inch mattress, only to be told, "That's exactly the point"?In this thirteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Gary Meagher for a deeply reflective conversation about his 2008 initiation at Pilgrim Park, Illinois . Gary shares how he arrived at the rites as a 55-year-old seeking to jump into the "deep end of the pool" like a pearl diver searching for a greater connection. He reflects on how the visceral, shock value of the weekend forced him out of his comfortable "thinking head" and into a space of profound vulnerability.Gary recounts the three "North Stars" given by Ritual Elder Stephen Picha—embracing nature, contemplative practice, and a community of men—that continue to guide his life nearly two decades later. From walking a "path of equals" with his father in his final years to comparing the rites to his 38-day pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago, Gary’s story is a beautiful testament to the "haunting" power of true initiation.Episode HighlightsThe 1-Inch Mattress: Why a breakfast conversation helped Gary realize he was in liminal space, not on a retreat.The Pearl Diver: How reaching age 55 sparked a hunger to dive into the unknown and search for the "pearl" of connection.Three North Stars: The post-rites instructions to embrace nature, centering prayer, and male community that Gary still follows.Fathers and Sons: Letting go of generational wounds to walk a healing "path of equals" with his aging father.The Camino Connection: Why Gary views the MROP as a pinnacle, "haunting" life experience akin to walking across Spain.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Gary Meagher for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man realizes he’s been bumping through life like a blind cave fish, only to find that the "inner peace" he’s been praying for requires him to sit perfectly still in a 6x6 square of desert solitude?In this twelfth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with John Groleau for a candid conversation about his 2012 initiation in the Texas wilderness. John, a retired business owner and grandfather, shares how the stress of a 70-hour work week led him to seek a spiritual reset for the "God-hole" in his soul. He reflects on the "mind-expanding" experience of solitude and a life-altering encounter that led to a decade-long commitment to Centering Prayer.John speaks with raw vulnerability about "coming clean" to his wife and children after realizing that his habit of treating others like "idiots" was actually a reflection of how he viewed himself. From moving beyond political "us versus them" labels to learning that it’s okay for a man to "leak from the eyes," John’s story is a grounding invitation for any man who wants to stop bumping along and start growing.Episode HighlightsThe God-Hole: Why professional success couldn't fill the deep restlessness John felt in midlife.The 70% Stress Reset: How a commitment to twice-daily meditation helped John find the inner peace he had prayed for.Breaking the "Idiot" Cycle: Coming clean to his wife and kids about how he viewed and treated them.The Both/And Way: Trading judgments for empathy and "accepting others where they are in life".Growing or Dying: Why initiation is the necessary vision-building process for a man's "next years".Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to John Groleau for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man facing a midlife crisis and clinical depression discovers that his position of comfort is actually a "position of contracture" keeping him stuck?In this eleventh episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Steve Conroy for a powerful account of his 2006 initiation at Frost Valley, New York. Steve shares how arriving at the rites in a raw, vulnerable state allowed him to experience a "miraculous" breaking apart of his old self, leading to a profound reframing of his life’s struggles.Steve recounts the "aha moments" that defined his journey—from a quiet bus ride conversation with Fr. Richard Rohr to receiving spiritual messages from nature and strangers in airports. He speaks with raw honesty about the "hot seat" feedback that challenged his ego and how initiation turned him into a global citizen of a masculine fellowship. If you have ever felt "stuck" in your spiritual life or wondered if failure can truly be a doorway to something greater, Steve’s story is a grounding invitation to step into the unknown.Episode HighlightsThe Power of Breaking: Why the first ritual felt like something inside was coming apart for the better.Pecking Away at Fear: Lessons from a hummingbird and a forest floor about persistence and facing death.Prescriptive Encounters: How an AA sponsor at a Denver airport provided the exact confirmation Steve needed.The Grandfather Energy: Trading the "warrior" need to fight over doctrine for the "king" energy of blessing.Universal Brotherhood: Realizing that men carry the same cares and concerns from Ireland to America.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Steve Conroy for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man in long-term recovery realizes that the language of his sobriety is beginning to feel "rote," and he discovers that his anger is actually just a mask for deep disappointment?In this tenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Ramiro de la Garza for a visceral account of his 2022 initiation at Pilgrim Park. Ramiro, a member of the AA community who has been sober for over six years, shares how he was "ambushed" by a divine connection that moved him from apprehension to a restorative state of awe.Ramiro recounts the "crescendo" of the grief ritual, where he finally went to battle with the "monsters" of his past and left behind an image that no longer served him. He speaks with raw honesty about how initiation helped him "soften the edges" of the traditional tough guy, turning him into a listener who truly "receives" others. If you have ever felt "scattered" in the best way possible or wondered if there is more to your spiritual journey than just following rules, Ramiro’s story is a grounding invitation to let the process have its way with you.Episode HighlightsThe Divine Ambush: How entering the unknown leads to being "taken by surprise" by the spirit.Monsters at the Roadside: A new way of viewing past struggles as temporary companions rather than governing presences.Breaking the "Tough Guy" Mold: Learning that real masculinity involves knowing the difference between anger and sorrow.Mirror to Mirror: The power of hearing your own heart's truths spoken aloud by other men.The Restorative Cry: Processing the "undulating emotions" of an intense threshold experience.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Ramiro de la Garza for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man who has spent 75 years "creeping south" realizes his greatest journey is the inward descent from anger into the well of grief?In this ninth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Bill Prindle for a deeply honest conversation about his 2024 initiation at Shrine Mont. Bill, a poet and hospice volunteer, shares how a simple "GPS snafu" revealed a reservoir of anger that led him to finally seek the rites at age 74 . He reflects on the "gentle death" of a beech tree shedding its leaves and how that image helped him unlock ancestor grief and a new way of being among men .Bill recounts the power of Jungian archetypes, his experience as a hospice volunteer, and the "Jeffersonian inclusivity" of Illuman that welcomes men of all faiths or none . He speaks candidly about entering the "Fourth Quarter" of life—a time for letting go of fixed identities and finding the courage to show up with presence . If you have ever felt trapped by your own "need for certainty" or wondered if it’s too late to start the inner work, Bill’s perspective is a grounding invitation to take the risk.Episode HighlightsPeace with Anger: Admitting the need to work through outrage and annoyance.The Well of Grief: Watching nature's gentle shedding to understand personal and ancestor sadness .Snap Judgments: How the rites confront our inner critics to reveal the human being behind our labels .The Fourth Quarter: Turning 75 and exploring what remains when beliefs and identities are loosened .Inclusive Spirituality: Why a radical, open welcome is the "spirituality-forward" core of this work.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Bill Prindle for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a busy consultant and father of three trades his constant connectivity for a quiet spot by a river to listen to what his soul is actually saying?In this eighth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Elias Kruger for an honest look at his 2022 initiation at John Knox Ranch in Texas. Elias reflects on his transition from a devout religious background to a nature-based spiritual path, sharing how the rites provided a "beckoning" he couldn't ignore. He discusses the initial self-doubt and "tentative" feelings that often accompany the first day of the rites, and how they eventually gave way to a profound sense of lightness and clarity.Elias describes the emotional impact of the rituals, the "precious gift" of wilderness solitude, and a moving moment back home where he found himself weeping at the moon—a testament to the deep, universal connectedness he discovered. If you have ever felt "too busy" for your own soul or wondered how to bridge the gap between religious tradition and authentic experience, this conversation is for you.Episode HighlightsThe Sound of Energy: Finding stillness by the rushes of the water and a strong tree.Transitioning Faith: Moving from a devout background toward a spirituality that connects nature, body, and mind.The Art of Initiation: Why Elias views rites of passage as a "lost art" that helps us pass through life’s thresholds.Clarity of the Moon: A mystical experience of "spillover" that changed how Elias views the world around him.Embracing Identity: Learning to own a masculine spirituality that is neither absent nor chauvinistic.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Elias Kruger for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man reaches the "corporate mountaintop," only to realize the air is thin and he can’t quite catch his breath ?In this seventh episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Bill Weber for an insightful look at his 2011 initiation in the Catskills of New York. Bill, an Enneagram 3 who spent decades in a high-powered corporate career, shares how he spent five years trying to find five days to dedicate to his soul. He discusses the transition from "retiring" to "rewiring" and how the rites provided the spiritual reset he didn't even know he was desperate for.Bill reflects on the shift from being purely cerebral and "left-brained" to embracing the "right-brained" wisdom of the heart and body. He speaks candidly about how the "equanimity" he gained helped him navigate life’s major "gut-kicks"—including a battle with cancer, an unwanted divorce, and a sudden job loss after 34 years. Bill’s story is a powerful reminder that the most important work happens when we stop performing and start being.Episode HighlightsThe Thin Air of Success: Why reaching a VP role felt lonelier than expected and sparked a midlife search for meaning.Cerebral to Soulful: Moving from a "thinking-side" approach to wisdom to a "feeling-side" connection with the spirit.Ritual Made Corporal: How the MROP took Bill’s Catholic roots and made grace something he could actually feel.Rewiring for Life's "Gut-Kicks": Using the lessons of the rites to face cancer, divorce, and unemployment with resilience.The Father-Son Connection: The profound experience of attending an Illuman gathering with his 25-year-old son.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Bill Weber for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man realizes that the thing he is shrinking back from is exactly what he needs to lean into?In this ninth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Mark Eggenschwiller for a powerful conversation about his 2024 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon in Arizona. Mark shares how his journey began with a mystical omen—a hawk carrying a snake across the sky—and led him into a "sacred space" of deep intimacy and vulnerability.Mark reflects on the life-changing process of identifying his core wound: the belief that "you're not enough, you must perform." He discusses how the rites helped him move beyond an identity defined by performance and "toxic masculinity" toward a higher self, rooted in pure love. Whether you are navigating the evolution of a long-term marriage or searching for the courage to face your own "shadow work," Mark’s story offers a profound look at the healing that comes from running toward your fears.Episode HighlightsThe Hawk and the Snake: How a mystical sighting in the Arizona sky set the stage for a transformative experience.Performance vs. Being: Identifying and contextualizing the core wound of "not being enough" and the constant need to achieve.Beyond Toxic Masculinity: Trading cultural models of dominance and conquest for the "highest calling" of love.Marriage and Agency: How shadow work helped Mark and his wife, Kate, move toward a healthier sense of autonomy and shared intimacy.Leaning into Fear: Why shrinking back is often the clearest sign that it is time to lean in and "run toward the fire."Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Mark Eggenschwiller for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when the "good son"—the man who prides himself on being the reliable family "fixer"—realizes that his identity is built on a foundation of ego and false affirmations?In this fifth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Mick Owens for a vulnerable conversation about his 2008 initiation at Pilgrim Park in Illinois. Mick, a retired teacher with over five decades of marriage, shares how he arrived at the rites carrying the heavy weight of his mother's recent stroke and a lifelong habit of trying to solve everyone else's problems.Whether you are a caregiver feeling the weight of responsibility or a man searching for the "genuine self" hidden behind cultural expectations, Mick’s story is a moving testament to the healing power of letting go.Episode HighlightsThe "Good Son" Trap: How being a "fixer" for his family fed Mick’s ego while leaving his soul hungry.Smashing the Mirror: The transformative moment of breaking an old image to start from scratch.Six Hours in the Woods: The discipline of the "four envelopes" and how journaling in the wilderness unlocked deep healing."Tough Nut" to Vulnerability: Moving past the insecurity of not being "man-man" enough to discover the value of a sensitive heart.A New World of Connection: How initiation reshaped his 55-year marriage and his relationship with his adult sons.Read Mick's poem: Tough Nut - https://community.illuman.org/posts/97105952Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Mick Owens for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a "messianic" doer—a man who prides himself on being "too proud to fail"—finally encounters the "restless emptiness" of his own soul?In this fourth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Bob Colaresi for a deeply moving conversation about his 2005 initiation in the woods of Minnesota. Bob, a Carmelite priest for nearly 60 years, shares a vulnerable look at how the rites stripped away his "false self"—the tireless administrator and "fixer"—to reveal a man who is, above all else, the beloved of God.Bob reflects on the unexpected power of the drum, the "threatening" beauty of nature, and a profound moment of healing involving the memory of his father. He recounts the "messianic" drive that fueled his early life and how the rites shifted his perspective from seeing people as projects to seeing them as brothers to be known and loved. Whether you are a "doer" looking for deeper meaning or someone wrestling with feelings of inadequacy, Bob’s story is a powerful testament to the transformative potential of stepping into the unknown.Episode HighlightsThe "Restless Emptiness": Why a successful administrator and priest felt a void that work and success couldn't fill.The Power of the Drum: How a five-week labor of love from a spiritual director kept Bob from backing out."Inadequate Son": The raw moment during a grief ritual that surfaced a lifelong wound.Healing the Father Wound: A mystical encounter in the woods that transformed a memory of high expectations into a realization of unconditional love.From Fixing to Listening: How the rites transformed Bob’s relationships, moving him from control to genuine presence.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Fr. Bob Colaresi for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when the cultural image of a "lumberjack" man—all power and might—no longer fits the reality of the soul?In this third episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Charlie Myking for a candid conversation about his 2018 initiation at Ghost Ranch. Charlie draws a profound parallel between the rites and his earlier experience of "hitting bottom" in recovery, describing the weekend not as a workshop, but as a necessary cycle of letting go to be filled by a power greater than himself.Charlie reflects on the rugged beauty of the New Mexico wilderness, from the fascinating simplicity of "dried buffalo dung" on a solo wander to the moment he found the "soul brother" he had been seeking for years. He shares how sitting at the table with mentors like Belden Lane and Fr. Richard Rohr helped him process the loss of his daughter and deepened his connection to a community of fellow seekers.Episode HighlightsThe "Bottom" Experience: Why the rites felt like the "letting go" found in recovery.The Solo Wander: Finding a soul brother and encountering the divine in the desert.Deconstruction of Masculinity: Moving past the "Paul Bunyan" model toward vulnerability.Council in Relationships: How the rites provided tools for deep, safe communication with his partner.The Elder Journey: Charlie’s perspective on moving from the Men's Rites into the Elder Rites of Passage.Links & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Charlie Myking for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man discovers that the life he has built is no longer the life his soul is asking him to live?In this second episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Dan Vanoli for a deeply honest conversation about his experience of the Men’s Rites of Passage. Dan shares how he arrived at the rites carrying anger, disappointment, and a growing awareness that something in him needed to change. What he found was not simply a retreat, but a threshold experience—an awakening that began to loosen the grip of ego and open him to humility, brotherhood, and a more grounded spiritual life.Dan reflects on the power of ritual, the stillness of the contemplative sit, the unexpected calm of drumming, and the way the rites continued working in him long after the weekend ended. He also speaks candidly about how this journey reshaped his understanding of masculinity, helped him confront patterns of ego and toxic conditioning, and led him into lasting community with other initiated men.If you’ve ever felt the quiet ache for a new direction—or sensed that real transformation might begin with surrender—this conversation is for you.Episode HighlightsWhy MROP became a “doorway” into a different lifeEntering the rites with fear, trust, and a hunger for changeThe impact of ritual, drumming, and the contemplative sitHow the rites challenged ego and toxic masculinityWhy brotherhood and community helped the transformation take rootLinks & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Dan Vanoli for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man crosses the threshold from striving and achievement into meaning and soul?In this first episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Chester Trocha to talk about his experience of the Men’s Rites of Passage (MROP)—not as a lecture or abstract explanation, but as a real, personal story. Chester reflects on the impact of Pilgrim Park, the power of ritual and council, the tenderness that surfaced after the weekend, and how the rites became a “slow burn” that reshaped his inner life over time. If you’ve felt a tug in your own soul—especially at a crossroads—this conversation is for you.Episode HighlightsWhy MROP is an initiation, not just another retreatThe role of nature, place, and “connection”Ritual, mystery, and the power of men’s councilWhat shifted (slowly) after returning to everyday lifeHow centering prayer / the “morning sit” became foundationalLinks & ResourcesChoosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mropAdam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESHFalling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64PBreathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVpHost: https://brianmueller.comCreditsFirst and foremost, thank you to Chester Trocha for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.Music Credits:Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams